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THE  NOVELS 

OF 

CAPTAIN   MARRYAT 

EDITED    BY 

R.  BRIMLEY    JOHNSON 


This  Edition  of  Captain  Marryaf  s  Novels, 

made  exclusively  for  members  of  the 

NEW  YORK  YACHT  CLUB 

is  strictly  limited  to  one  hundred  copies. 


"fcJ<5»x/<3o«-;>fc^/~?Ktfj 


Copy  No.  /  S 

PRINTED  FOR 

H.  A.  VAN  LIEfV,  Esq. 


A^^ 


NEW  YORK  YACHT  CLUB  EDITION 


MR.    MIDSHIPMAN 
EASY 


BY 
CAPTAIN  MARRYAT 


NEW  YORK 
CROSCUif  AND    COMPANY 

MDCCCXCVI 


Contents 


pact 

Chapter  i         •             .             .             .             •             .           i 

Chapter  ii 

3 

Chapter  m 

6 

Chapter  iv       , 

II 

Chapter  v        , 

19 

Chapter  vi       , 

26 

Chapter  vn 

37 

Chapter  viii 

45 

Chapter  ix 

54 

Chapter  x 

.     63 

Chapter  xi 

74 

Chapter  xii 

83 

Chapter  xiii 

.         96 

Chapter  xiv     . 

.       1x6 

Chapter  xv 

'       131 

Chapter  xvi 

.       138 

Chapter  xvii 

■       H7 

Chapter  xviii   , 

164 

Chapter  xix 

.       181 

Chapter  xx 

•       193 

Chapter  xxi 

201 

Chapter  xxii 

.       215 

VI 


Contents 


Chapter  xxiii  . 

.       227 

Chapter  xxiv    . 

•       245 

Chapter  xxv     . 

258 

Chapter  xxvi    . 

271 

Chapter  xxvu   . 

280 

Chapter  xxviii  . 

.       289 

Chapter  xxix    . 

•       297 

Chapter  xxx     . 

•       307 

Chapter  xxxi    . 

315 

Chapter  xxxii  . 

326 

Chapter  xxxiii  . 

338 

Chapter  xxxrv  . 

345 

Chapter  xxxv  . 

353 

Chapter  xxxvi  . 

361 

Chapter  xxxvi i 

370 

Chapter  xxxviii 

378 

Chapter  xxxix  .             , 

385 

Chapter  xl       .             , 

. 

395 

Chapter  xli 

. 

402 

List  of  Etchings 

Uttered  a  yelling  kind  of  "  ha  !    ha  !    ha  !    ha  !  "    Frontispiece 

PAGE 

"  Observe,  Johnny,  that's  the  letter  B  "        .  .  23 

The  Spanish  captain  felt  his   situation   anything    but 

PLEASANT     .  .  .  .  .  .Ill 

Mr  Easthupp  clapped  his  hand  to  his   trousers  behind        161 

As    THEY    burst    OPEN    THE    DOOR,  THE  OLD    GENTLEMAN    WHO 


defended     himself     against     SUCH     odds     HAD     FALLEN 


DOWN 


.  186 


Den  she  tink  me  de  debil        ....       342 

Dratun  by  W.  Downing. 
Etched  by  W.  Wright- Nooth. 


Prefatory    Note 


Pre-eminent  among  the  kindly,  good-humoured  portraits 
that  hang  in  Marryat's  long  gallery  of  fun  stands  "  equality 
Jack,"  Mr  Midshipman  Easy.  The  critical  reader  to-day, 
quoting  the  science  of  heredity  as  taught  in  continental 
fiction,  may  smile  at  the  absurd  production  of  so  shrewd  a 
youth  from  such  thoroughly  imbecile  parents.  But  the 
comment  is  irrational  and  pedantic.  To  appreciate  a  farce 
we  must  grant  to  the  author  his  **  impossible  "  conditions  ; 
and  may  then  demand  that  he  should  manipulate  them 
effectively. 

Given  the  mad  father,  the  doting  mother,  etc.,  and  his 
own  clever,  manly,  and  affectionate  nature.  Jack's  conduct 
in  the  middies'  berth  is  no  libel  on  humanity.  It  possesses 
the  further  merit  of  being  extremely  amusing.  He  argues 
with  so  much  point  and  persistence,  and  accepts  the  conse- 
quences of  differing  from  his  superior  officers  with  so 
much  genuine  philosophy,  that  the  reader  scarcely  knows 
whether  to  laugh  at  or  with  him.  Certainly  Jack  is  no 
fool,  and  as  experience  developes  his  character  we  find 
ourselves,  without  fear  of  inconsistency,  slowly  changing 
our  point  of  view  and  confessing  to  a  certain  measure  of 
cordial  respect  for  the  lad  we  were  once  nearly  tempted  to 
despise. 

In  a  story  depending  for  its  main  interest  on  comedy 
that  is  almost  wholly  farcical,  it  is  peculiarly  satisfactory  to 
find  men  of  sterling  worth  untouched  by  satire,  and  the 
serious  side  of  life  treated  with  feeling.  Captain  "Wilson 
and  his  worthy  lieutenant,  Sawbridge,  do  not  suffer  in 
dignity  from  their  wit-conflicts  with  the  hero  who,  indeed, 
is  never  essentially  disrespectful  to  his  seniors.    The  slight 


X  Prefatory  Note 

sketch  of  Martin,  the  melancholy  mate,  has  been  justly 
praised  for  its  genuine,  quiet  pathos  ;  and  Jack's  treatment 
of  his  poor  father  is  thoughtful  and  considerate. 

It  is  scarcely  necessary  to  speak  of  the  admirable  and 
stirring  scenes  of  naval  life  with  which  the  pages  of  this 
novel  are  crowded.  As  we  have  said  of  his  work  gener- 
ally, Marryat  excels  in  the  true  realism  which  is  born  of 
intimate  knowledge,  and  he  has  the  wisdom  to  avoid  any 
melodramatic  exaggeration.  Obviously  Jack's  experiences 
are  over-crowded  and  impossibly  varied,  but  any  one  of 
thv^m  is  within  the  range  of  a  midshipman's  actual  daily 
life.  The  encounter  with  the  Russian  frigate  is  considered 
a  masterly  report  of  a  perfectly  actual  sea-light. 

There  is  a  striking  passage  in  Henry  liingsley's  Ravens- 
hoe  which  shows  that  he,  at  any  rate,  gave  much  honour  to 
Midshipman  Easy.  While  sailing  past  Malta  at  sunrise,  "  a 
flood  of  historical  recollections  comes  over  Charles,  and  he 
recognises  the  place  as  one  long  known  and  very  dear  to 
him.  On  these  very  stairs  Mr  Midshipman  Easy  stood, 
and  resolved  that  he  would  take  a  boat  and  sail  to  Gazo. 
What  followed  on  his  resolution  is  a  matter  of  history. 
Other  events  have  taken  place  at  Malta,  of  which  Charles 
was  as  well  informed  as  the  majority,  but  Charles  did  not 
think  of  them ;  not  even  of  St  Paul  and  the  viper,  or  the 
old  wordy  dispute  in  Greek  testament  lecture  at  Oxford 
between  this  Melita  and  the  other  one  off  the  coast  of 
lUyricum.  He  thought  of  Midshipman  Easy,  and  felt  as 
if  he  had  seen  the  place  before." 

When  this  novel,  for  which  he  received  ^1200,  was 
first  published,  Marryat  was  editing  the  Metropolitan 
Alagazine,  and  he  printed  a  specimen  chapter,  the  first,  in 
the  number  for  August  1836,  by  way  of  advertisement. 

Midshiptrtan  Easy  is  here  re-printed,  with  a  few  correc- 
tions, from  the  first  edition  in  three  vols.  Saunders  & 
Otley,  1836. 

R.  B.  J. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy 


Chapter  I 

Which  the  reader  will  find  very  easy  to  read. 


i 


Mr  Nicodemus  Easy  was  a  gentleman  who  lived  down 
in  Hampshire  ;  he  was  a  married  man,  and  in  very  easy 
circumstances.  Most  couples  find  it  very  easy  to  have  a 
family,  but  not  always  quite  so  easy  to  maintain  them. 
Mr  Easy  was  not  at  all  uneasy  on  the  latter  score,  as  he 
had  no  children  ;  but  he  was  anxious  to  have  them,  as 
most  people  covet  what  they  cannot  obtain.  After  ten 
years,  Mr  Easy  gave  it  up  as  a  bad  job.  Philosophy  is 
said  to  console  a  man  under  disappointment,  although 
Shakespeare  asserts  that  it  is  no  remedy  for  toothache  ;  so 
Mr  Easy  turned  philosopher,  the  very  best  profession  a 
man  can  take  up,  when  he  is  fit  for  nothing  else  ;  he  must 
be  a  very  incapable  person  indeed  who  cannot  talk  non- 
sense. For  some  time,  Mr  Easy  could  not  decide  upon 
what  description  his  nonsense  should  consist  of ;  at  last  he 
fixed  upon  the  rights  of  man,  equality,  and  all  that  j  how 
every  person  was  born  to  inherit  his  share  of  the  earth, 
a  right  at  present  only  admitted  to  a  certain  length ;  that 
is,  about  six  feet,  for  we  all  inherit  our  graves,  and  are 
allowed  to  take  possession  without  dispute.  But  no  one 
would  listen  to  Mr  Easy's  philosophy.  The  women  would 
not  acknowledge  the  rights  of  men,  whom  they  declared 
always  to  be  in  the  wrong  ;  and,  as  the  gentlemen  who 
visited  Mr  Easy  were  all  men  of  property,  they  could  not 

E  A 


2  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

perceive  the  advantages  of  sharing  with  those  who  had 
none.  However,  they  allowed  him  to  discuss  the  question, 
while  they  discussed  his  port  wine.  The  wine  was  good, 
if  the  arguments  were  not,  and  we  must  take  things  as  we 
find  them  in  this  world. 

While  Mr  Easy  talked  philosophy,  Mrs  Easy  played 
patience,  and  they  were  a  very  happy  couple,  riding  side 
by  side  on  their  hobbies,  and  never  interfering  with  each 
other.  Mr  Easy  knew  his  wife  could  not  understand  him, 
and  therefore  did  not  expect  her  to  listen  very  attentively  5 
and  Mrs  Easy  did  not  care  how  much  her  husband  talked, 
provided  she  was  not  put  out  in  her  game.  Mutual  for- 
bearance will  always  ensure  domestic  felicity. 

There  was  another  cause  for  their  agreeing  so  well. 
Upon  any  disputed  question  Mr  Easy  invariably  gave  it  up 
to  Mrs  Easy,  telling  her  that  she  should  have  her  own 
way — and  this  pleased  his  wife  ;  but,  as  Mr  Easy  always 
took  care,  when  it  came  to  the  point,  to  have  his  way,  he 
was  pleased  as  well.  It  is  true  that  Mrs  Easy  had  long 
found  out  that  she  did  not  have  her  own  way  long  ;  but 
she  was  of  an  easy  disposition,  and  as,  in  nine  cases  out  of 
ten,  it  was  of  very  little  consequence  how  things  were 
done,  she  was  quite  satisfied  with  his  submission  during 
the  heat  of  the  argument.  Mr  Easy  had  admitted  that  she 
was  right,  and  if  like  all  men  he  would  do  wrong,  why, 
what  could  a  poor  woman  do  ?  With  a  lady  of  such  a 
quiet  disposition,  it  is  easy  to  imagine  that  the  domestic 
felicity  of  Mr  Easy  was  not  easily  disturbed.  But,  as 
people  have  observed  before,  there  is  a  mutability  in 
human  affairs.  It  was  at  the  finale  of  the  eleventh  year 
of  their  marriage  that  Mrs  Easy  at  first  complained  that 
she  could  not  enjoy  her  breakfast.  Mrs  Easy  had  her  own 
suspicions,  everybody  else  considered  it  past  doubt,  all 
except  Mr  Easy ;  he  little  "  thought,  good  easy  man,  that 
his  greatness  was  ripening  ;  "  he  had  decided  that  to  have 
an  heir  was  no  Easy  task,  and  it  never  came  into  his 
calculations,  that  there  could  be  a  change  in  his  wife's 
iigure.     You  might  have  added  to  it,  subtracted  from  it. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  3 

divided  it,  or  multiplied  it,  but  as  it  was  a  zero,  the  result 
would  be  always  the  same.  Mrs  Easy  also  was  not  quite 
sure — she  believed  it  might  be  the  case,  there  was  no 
saying ;  it  might  be  a  mistake,  like  that  of  Mrs  Trunnion's 
in  the  novel,  and,  therefore,  she  said  nothing  to  her 
husband  about  the  matter.  At  last  Mr  Easy  opened  his 
eyes,  and  when,  upon  interrogating  his  wife,  he  found  out 
the  astounding  truth,  he  opened  his  eyes  still  wider,  and 
then  he  snapped  his  fingers  and  danced,  like  a  bear  upon 
hot  plates,  with  delight,  thereby  proving  that  different 
causes  may  produce  similar  effects  in  two  instances  at  one 
and  the  same  time.  The  bear  dances  from  pain,  Mr  Easy 
from  pleasure  ;  and  again,  when  we  are  indifferent,  or  do 
not  care  for  anything,  we  snap  our. fingers  at  it,  and  when 
we  are  overjoyed,  and  obtain  what  we  most  care  for,  we 
also  snap  our  fingers.  Two  months  after  Mr  Easy  snapped 
his  fingers,  Mrs  Easy  felt  no  inclination  to  snap  hers, 
either  from  indifference  or  pleasure.  The  fact  was,  that 
Mrs  Easy's  time  was  come,  to  undergo  what  Shakespeare 
pronounces  "  the  pleasing  punishment  that  women  bear  ;  " 
but  Mrs  Easy,  like  the  rest  of  her  sex,  declared  "  that  all 
men  were  liars,"  and  most  particularly  poets. 

But  while  Mrs  Easy  was  suffering,  Mr  Easy  was  in 
ecstasies.  He  laughed  at  pain,  as  all  philosophers  do  when 
it  is  suffered  by  other  people,  and  not  by  themselves. 

In  due  course  of  time,  Mrs  Easy  presented  her  husband 
with  a  fine  boy,  whom  we  present  to  the  public  as  our 
hero. 


Chapter  II 

In  which  Mrs  Easy,  as  usual,  has  her  own  way. 

It  was  the  fourth  day  after  Mrs  Easy's  confinement  that 
Mr  Easy,  who  was  sitting  by  her  bedside  in  an  easy  chair, 
commenced  as  follows :  "  I  have  been  thinking,  my  dear 
Mrs  Easy,  about  the  name  I  shall  give  this  child." 


4  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  Name,  Mr  Easy  !  why,  what  name  should  you  give  it 
but  your  own  ? " 

"  Not  so,  my  dear,"  replied  Mr  Easy ;  "  they  call  all 
names  proper  names,  but  I  think  that  mine  is  not.  It  is 
the  very  worst  name  in  the  calendar." 

"  Why,  what's  the  matter  with  it,  Mr  Easy  ? " 

"The  matter  affects  me  as  well  as  the  boy.  Nicodemus 
is  a  long  name  to  write  at  full  length,  and  Nick  is  vulgar. 
Besides,  as  there  will  be  two  Nicks,  they  will  naturally 
call  my  boy  young  Nick,  and  of  course  I  shall  be  styled 
old  Nick,  which  will  be  diabolical." 

*'  Well,  Mr  Easy,  at  all  events  then  let  me  choose  the 
name." 

"That  you  shall,  my  dear,  and  it  was  with  this  view 
that  I  have  mentioned  the  subject  so  early." 

"  I  think,  Mr  Easy,  I  will  call  the  boy  after  my  poor 
father — his  name  shall  be  Robert." 

"  Very  well,  my  dear,  if  you  wish  it,  it  shall  be  Robert. 
You  shall  have  your  own  way.  But  I  think,  my  dear, 
upon  a  little  consideration,  you  will  acknowledge  that 
there  is  a  decided  objection." 

"  An  objection,  Mr  Easy  ?  " 

"  Yes,  my  dear  j  Robert  may  be  very  well,  but  you 
must  reflect  upon  the  consequences  j  he  is  certain  to 
be  called   Bob." 

"  Well,  my  dear,  and  suppose  they  do  call  him  Bob  ? " 

"  I  cannot  bear  even  the  supposition,  my  dear.  You 
forget  the  county  in  which  we  are  residing,  the  downs 
covered  with  sheep." 

"Why,  Mr  Easy,  what  can  sheep  have  to  do  with  a 
Christian  name  ?  " 

"  There  it  is ;  women  never  look  to  consequences.  My 
dear,  they  have  a  great  deal  to  do  with  the  name  of  Bob. 
I  will  appeal  to  any  farmer  in  the  county,  if  ninety-nine 
shepherds'  dogs  out  of  one  hundred  are  not  called  Bob. 
Now  observe,  your  child  is  out  of  doors  somewhere  in  the 
fields  or  plantations  ;  you  want  and  you  call  him.  Instead 
of  your  child,  what  do  you  find  ?     Why,  a  dozen  curs  at 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  5 

least,  who  come  running  up  to  you,  all  answering  to  the 
name  of  Bob,  and  wagging  their  stumps  of  tails.  You  see, 
Mrs  Easy,  it  is  a  dilemma  not  to  be  got  over.  You  level 
your  only  son  to  the  brute  creation  by  giving  him  a 
Christian  name  which,  from  its  peculiar  brevity,  has  been 
monopolised  by  all  the  dogs  in  the  county.  Any  other 
name  you  please,  my  dear,  but  in  this  one  instance  you 
must  allow  me  to  lay  my  positive  veto." 

"  Well,  then,  let  me  see — but  I'll  think  of  it,  Mr  Easy  ; 
my  head  aches  very  much  just  now." 

**  I  will  think  for  you,  my  dear.  What  do  you  say  to 
John?" 

"  O  no,  Mr  Easy,  such  a  common  name." 

**  A  proof  of  its  popularity,  my  dear.  It  is  scriptural — 
we  have  the  Apostle  and  the  Baptist — we  have  a  dozen 
Popes  who  were  all  Johns.  It  is  royal — we  have  plenty  of 
kings  who  were  Johns — and  moreover,  it  is  short,  and 
sounds  honest  and  manly." 

**  Yes,  very  true,  my  dear  j  but  they  will  call  him 
Jack." 

**  Well,  we  have  had  several  celebrated  characters  who 
were  Jacks.  There  was — let  me  see — Jack  the  Giant 
Killer,  and  Jack  of  the  Bean  Stack — and  Jack — Jack " 

*'  Jack  Spratt,"  replied  Mrs  Easy. 

**  And  Jack  Cade,  Mrs  Easy,  the  great  rebel — and  Three- 
fingered  Jack,  Mrs  Easy,  the  celebrated  negro — and,  above 
all,  Jack  FalstafF,  ma'am.  Jack  FalstafF — honest  Jack  FalstafF 
— witty  Jack  FalstafF " 

"I  thought,  Mr  Easy,  that  I  was  to  be  permitted  to 
choose  the  name." 

"  Well,  so  you  shall,  my  dear  j  I  give  it  up  to  you.  Do 
just  as  you  please  ;  but  depend  upon  it  that  John  is  the 
right  name.     Is  it  not  now,  my  dear  ?  " 

"  It's  the  way  you  always  treat  me,  Mr  Easy ;  you  say 
that  you  give  it  up,  and  that  I  shall  have  my  own  way, 
but  I  never  do  have  it.  I  am  sure  that  the  child  will  be 
christened  John." 

"Nay,  my  dear,  it  shall  be  just  what  you  please.     Now 


6  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

I  recollect  it,  there  were  several  Greek  emperors  who  were 
Johns  ;  but  decide  for  yourself,  my  dear." 

"  No,  no,"  replied  Mrs  Easy,  who  was  ill,  and  unable  to 
contend  any  longer,  "  I  give  it  up,  Mr  Easy.  I  know  how 
it  will  be,  as  it  always  is  :  you  give  me  my  own  way  as 
people  give  pieces  of  gold  to  children,  it's  their  own  money, 
but  they  must  not  spend  it.     Pray  call  him  John." 

"There,  my  dear,  did  not  I  tell  you  you  would  be  of 
my  opinion  upon  reflection  ?  I  knew  you  would.  I  have 
given  you  your  own  way,  and  you  tell  me  to  call  him  John  ; 
so  now  we're  both  of  the  same  mind,  and  that  point  is 
settled." 

"  I  should  like  to  go  to  sleep,  Mr  Easy  ;  I  feel  far  from 
well." 

"  You  shall  always  do  just  as  you  like,  my  dear,"  replied 
the  husband,  "  and  have  your  own  way  in  everything.  It  is 
the  greatest  pleasure  I  have  when  I  yield  to  your  wishes. 
I  will  walk  in  the  garden.     Good-bye,  my  dear." 

Mrs  Easy  made  no  reply,  and  the  philosopher  quitted 
the  room.  As  may  easily  be  imagined,  on  the  following 
day  the  boy  was  christened  John. 


Chapter  III 

In  which  our  hero  has  to  wait  the  issue  of  an  argument. 

The  reader  may  observe  that,  in  general,  all  my  first  chap- 
ters are  very  short,  and  increase  in  length  as  the  work 
advances.  I  mention  this  as  a  proof  of  my  modesty  and 
diffidence.  At  first,  I  am  like  a  young  bird  just  out  of  its 
mother's  nest,  pluming  my  little  feathers  and  taking  short 
flights.  By  degrees  I  obtain  more  confidence,  and  wing 
my  course  over  hill  and  dale. 

It  is  very  difficult  to  throw  any  interest  into  a  chapter  on 
childhood.  There  is  the  same  uniformity  in  all  children 
until  they  develop.  We  cannot,  therefore,  say  much 
relative  to  Jack  Easy's  earliest  days  ;  he  sucked  and  threw 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  7 

up  his  milk  while  the  nurse  blessed  it  for  a  pretty  dear, 
slept,  and  sucked  again.  He  crowed  in  the  morning  like 
a  cock,  screamed  when  he  was  washed,  stared  at  the  candle, 
and  made  wry  faces  with  the  wind.  Six  months  passed  in 
these  innocent  amusements,  and  then  he  was  put  into  shorts. 
But  I  ought  here  to  have  remarked,  that  Mrs  Easy  did  not 
find  herself  equal  to  nursing  her  own  infant,  and  it  was 
necessary  to  look  out  for  a  substitute. 

Now  a  common-place  person  would  have  been  satisfied 
with  the  recommendation  of  the  medical  man,  who  looks 
but  to  the  one  thing  needful,  which  is  a  sufficient  and 
wholesome  supply  of  nourishment  for  the  child  j  but  Mr 
Easy  was  a  philosopher,  and  had  latterly  taken  to  craniology, 
and  he  descanted  very  learnedly  with  the  Doctor  upon  the 
effect  of  his  only  son  obtaining  his  nutriment  from  an 
unknown  source.  "Who  knows,"  observed  Mr  Easy, 
"but  that  my  son  may  not  imbibe  with  his  milk  the  very 
worst  passions  of  human  nature." 

"  I  have  examined  her,"  replied  the  Doctor,  "  and  can 
safely  recommend  her." 

"That  examination  is  only  preliminary  to  one  more 
important,"  replied  Mr  Easy.     "  I  must  examine  her." 

"  Examine  who,  Mr  Easy  ?  "  exclaimed  his  wife,  who 
had  lain  down  again  on  the  bed. 

"  The  nurse,  my  dear." 

"  Examine  what,  Mr  Easy  ?  "  continued  the  lady. 

"  Her  head,  my  dear,"  replied  the  husband.  "  I  must 
ascertain  what  her  propensities  are." 

"  I  think  you  had  better  leave  her  alone,  Mr  Easy. 
She  comes  this  evening,  and  I  shall  question  her  pretty 
severely.  Doctor  Middleton,  what  do  you  know  of  this 
young  person  ? " 

"  I  know,  madam,  that  she  is  very  healthy  and  strong, 
or  I  should  not  have  selected  her." 

"But  is  her  character  good  ? " 

"Really,  madam,  I  know  little  about  her  character j 
but  you  can  make  any  inquiries  you  please.  But  at  the 
same  time  I  ought  to  observe,  that  if  you  are  too  par- 


^Rf 


8  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

ticular  in  that  point,  you  will  have  some  difficulty  in 
providing  yourself." 

"Well,  I  shall  see,"  replied  Mrs  Easy. 

"  And  I  shall  feel,"  rejoined  the  husband. 

This  parleying  was  interrupted  by  the  arrival  of  the 
very  person  in  question,  who  was  announced  by  the 
housemaid,  and  was  ushered  in.  She  was  a  handsome, 
florid,  healthy-looking  girl,  awkward  and  naive  in  her 
manner,  and  apparently  not  over  wise ;  there  was  more 
of  the  dove  than  of  the  serpent  in  her  composition. 

Mr  Easy,  who  was  very  anxious  to  make  his  own 
discoveries,  was  the  first  who  spoke.  "  Young  woman, 
come  this  way,  I  wish  to  examine  your  head." 

"  Oh  !  dear  me,  sir,  it's  quite  clean,  I  assure  you,"  cried 
the  girl,  dropping  a  curtsey. 

Doctor  Middleton,  who  sat  between  the  bed  and  Mr 
Easy's  chair,  rubbed  his  hands  and  laughed. 

In  the  meantime,  Mr  Easy  had  untied  the  string  and 
taken  off  the  cap  of  the  young  woman,  and  was  very 
busy  putting  his  fingers  through  her  hair,  during  which 
the  face  of  the  young  woman  expressed  fear  and  astonish- 
ment. 

"  I  am  glad  to  perceive  that  you  have  a  large  portion 
of  benevolence." 

*•  Yes,"  replied  the  young  woman,  dropping  a  curtsey. 

"  And  veneration  also." 

"Thanky,  sir." 

"  And  the  organ  of  modesty  is  strongly  developed." 

**  Yes,  sir,"  replied  the  girl  with  a  smile. 

"  That's  quite  a  new  organ,"  thought  Dr  Middleton. 

"Philo-progenitiveness  very  powerful." 

"  If  you  please,  sir,  I  don't  know  what  that  is,"  answered 
Sarah,  with  a  curtsey. 

"Nevertheless  you  have  given  us  a  practical  illustration. 
Mrs  Easy,  I  am  satisfied.  Have  you  any  questions  to 
ask  ?     But  it  is  quite  unnecessary." 

"To  be  sure  I  have,  Mr  Easy.  Pray,  young  woman, 
what  is  your  name  ? " 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  9 

**  Sarah,  if  you  please,  ma'am." 

*•  How  long  have  you  been  married  ? " 

*'  Married,  ma'am  ? " 

"  Yes,  married." 

"  If  you  please,  ma'am,  I  had  a  misfortune,  ma'am," 
replied  the  girl,  casting  down  her  eyes. 

"  What,  have  you  not  been  married  ?  " 

**  No,  ma'am,  not  yet." 

"  Good  heavens  !  Dr  Middleton,  what  can  you  mean 
by  bringing  this  person  here  ? "  exclaimed  Mrs  Easy. 
**  Not  a  married  woman,  and  she  has  a  child  !  " 

"  If  you  please,  ma'am,"  interrupted  the  young  woman, 
dropping  a  curtsey,  "  it  was  a  very  little  one." 

"  A  very  little  one  !  "  exclaimed  Mrs  Easy. 

"  Yes,  ma'am,  very  small,  indeed,  and  died  soon  after 
it  was  born." 

**Oh,  Dr  Middleton! — what  could  you  mean,  Dr 
Middleton?" 

"My  dear  madam,"  exclaimed  the  Doctor,  rising  from 
his  chair,  "this  is  the  only  person  that  I  could  find  suited 
to  the  wants  of  your  child,  and  if  you  do  not  take  her 
I  cannot  answer  for  its  life.  It  is  true,  that  a  married 
woman  might  be  procured ;  but  married  women,  who 
have  a  proper  feeling,  will  not  desert  their  own  children ; 
and  as  Mr  Easy  asserts,  and  you  appear  to  imagine,  the 
temper  and  disposition  of  your  child  may  be  affected  by 
the  nourishment  it  receives,  I  think  it  more  likely  to  be 
injured  by  the  milk  of  a  married  woman  who  will  desert 
her  own  child  for  the  sake  of  gain.  The  misfortune 
which  has  happened  to  this  young  woman  is  not  always 
a  proof  of  a  bad  heart,  but  of  strong  attachment,  and  the 
overweening  confidence  of  simplicity." 

"  You  are  correct,  Doctor,"  replied  Mr  Easy,  *'  and 
her  head  proves  that  she  is  a  modest  young  woman,  with 
strong  religious  feeling,  kindness  of  disposition,  and  every 
other  requisite." 

"  The  head  may  prove  it  all  for  what  I  know,  Mr  Easy, 
but  her  conduct  tells  another  tale." 


lo  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  She  is  well  fitted  for  the  situation,  ma'am,"  continued 
the  Doctor. 

'*  And  if  you  please,  ma'am,"  rejoined  Sarah,  "  it  was 
such  a  little  oneT 

"  Shall  I  try  the  baby,  ma'am  ? "  said  the  monthly  nurse, 
who  had  listened  in  silence.  "  It  is  fretting  so,  poor 
thing,  and  has  its  dear  little  fist  right  down  its  throat." 

Dr  Middleton  gave  the  signal  of  assent,  and  in  a  few 
seconds  Master  John  Easy  was  fixed  to  Sarah  as  tight  as 
a  leech. 

"Lord  love  it,  how  hungry  it  is  ! — there,  there,  stop  it 
a  moment,  it's  choking,  poor  thing  !  " 

Mrs  Easy,  who  was  lying  on  her  bed,  rose  up,  and  went 
to  the  child.  Her  first  feeling  was  that  of  envy,  that 
another  should  have  such  a  pleasure  which  was  denied 
to  herself;  the  next,  that  of  delight,  at  the  satisfaction 
expressed  by  the  infant.  In  a  few  minutes  the  child  fell 
back  in  a  deep  sleep.  Mrs  Easy  was  satisfied  ;  maternal 
feelings  conquered  all  others,  and  Sarah  was  duly  in- 
stalled. 

To  make  short  work  of  it,  we  have  said  that  Jack  Easy 
in  six  months  was  in  shorts.  He  soon  afterwards  began 
to  crawl  and  show  his  legs ;  indeed,  so  indecorously,  that 
it  was  evident  that  he  had  imbibed  no  modesty  with 
Sarah's  milk,  neither  did  he  appear  to  have  gained 
veneration  or  benevolence,  for  he  snatched  at  everything, 
squeezed  the  kitten  to  death,  scratched  his  mother,  and 
pulled  his  father  by  the  hair  ;  notwithstanding  all  which, 
both  his  father  and  mother  and  the  whole  household 
declared  him  to  be  the  finest  and  sweetest  child  in  the 
universe.  But  if  we  were  to  narrate  all  the  wonderful 
events  of  Jack's  childhood  from  the  time  of  his  birth  up  to 
the  age  of  seven  years,  as  chronicled  by  Sarah,  who  con- 
tinued his  dry  nurse  after  he  had  been  weaned,  it  would 
take  at  least  three  volumes  folio.  Jack  was  brought  up  in 
the  way  that  every  only  child  usually  is — that  is,  he  was 
allowed  to  have  his  own  way. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  ii 


Chapter  IV 

[n  which  the  Doctor  prescribes  going  to  school  as  a  remedy  for  a  cut 

finger. 

"  Have  you  no  idea  of  putting  the  boy  to  school,  Mr 
Easy  ? "  said  Dr  Middleton,  who  had  been  summoned  by  a 
groom  with  his  horse  in  a  foam  to  attend  immediately  at 
Forest  Hill,  the  name  of  Mr  Easy's  mansion,  and  who, 
upon  his  arrival,  had  found  that  Master  Easy  had  cut  his 
thumb.  One  would  have  thought  that  he  had  cut  his  head 
off  by  the  agitation  pervading  the  whole  household — Mr 
Easy  walking  up  and  down  very  uneasy,  Mrs  Easy  with 
great  difficulty  prevented  from  syncope,  and  all  the  maids 
bustling  and  passing  round  Mrs  Easy's  chair.  Everybody 
appeared  excited  except  Master  Jack  Easy  himself,  who, 
with  a  rag  round  his  finger,  and  his  pinafore  spotted  with 
blood,  was  playing  at  bob-cherry,  and  cared  nothing  about 
the  matter. 

"  Well,  what's  the  matter,  my  little  man  ? "  said  Dr 
Middleton,  on  entering,  addressing  himself  to  Jack,  as  the 
most  sensible  of  the  whole  party. 

"  Oh,  Dr  Middleton,"  interrupted  Mrs  Easy,  *'  he  has 
cut  his  hand  ;  I'm  sure  that  a  nerve  is  divided,  and  then 
the  lock-jaw ' 

The  Doctor  made  no  reply,  but  examined  the  finger  : 
Jack  Easy  continued  to  play  bob-cherry  with  his  right 
hand. 

"  Have  you  such  a  thing  as  a  piece  of  sticking-plaster  in 
the  house,  madam  ?  "  observed  the  Doctor,  after  examina- 
tion. 

*'  O  yes  : — run,  Mary, — run,  Sarah  !  "  In  a  few  seconds 
the  maids  appeared,  Sarah  bringing  the  sticking-plaster, 
and  Mary  following  with  the  scissors. 

"  Make  yourself  quite  easy,  madam,"  said  Dr  Middleton, 
after  he  put  on  the  plaster,  "  I  will  answer  for  no  evil 
consequences." 


12  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  Had  I  not  better  take  him  upstairs,  and  let  him  He 
down  a  little  ?  "  replied  Mrs  Easy,  slipping  a  guinea  into 
the  Doctor's  hand. 

"It  is  not  absolutely  requisite,  madam,"  said  the  Doctor ; 
**  but  at  all  events  he  will  be  kept  out  of  more  mischief." 

"  Come,  my  dear,  you  hear  what  Dr  Middleton  says." 

"  Yes,  I  heard,"  replied  Jack  j  "  but  I  sha'n't  go." 

"  My  dear  Johnny — come,  love — now  do,  my  dear 
Johnny." 

Johnny  played  bob-cherry,  and  made  no  answer. 

"Come,  Master  Johnny,"  said  Sarah. 

"  Go  away,  Sarah,"  said  Johnny,  with  a  back-hander. 

"  Oh  !  fie.  Master  Johnny,"  said  Mary. 

**  Johnny,  my  love,"  said  Mrs  Easy  in  a  coaxing  tone, 
"  come  now — will  you  go  ?  " 

"  I'll  go  in  the  garden  and  get  some  more  cherries," 
replied  Master  Johnny. 

"  Come,  then,  love,  we  will  go  into  the  garden." 

Master  Johnny  jumped  off  his  chair,  and  took  his 
mamma  by  the  hand. 

"  What  a  dear,  good,  obedient  child  it  is  !  "  exclaimed 
Mrs  Easy  j  "  you  may  lead  him  with  a  thread." 

"  Yes,  to  pick  cherries,"  thought  Dr  Middleton. 

Mrs  Easy,  and  Johnny,  and  Sarah,  and  Mary,  went 
into  the  garden,  leaving  Dr  Middleton  alone  with  Mr 
Easy,  who  had  been  silent  during  this  scene.  Now  Dr 
Middleton  was  a  clever,  sensible  man,  who  had  no  wish 
to  impose  upon  anyone.  As  for  his  taking  a  guinea  for 
putting  on  a  piece  of  sticking-plaster,  his  conscience  was 
very  easy  on  that  score.  His  time  was  equally  valuable, 
whether  he  were  employed  for  something  or  nothing ; 
and,  moreover,  he  attended  the  poor  gratis.  Constantly 
in  the  house,  he  had  seen  much  of  Mr  John  Easy,  and 
perceived  that  he  was  a  courageous,  decided  boy,  of  a 
naturally  good  disposition  j  but  from  the  idiosyncracy  of 
the  father,  and  the  doating  folly  of  the  mother,  in  a  sure 
way  of  being  spoiled.  As  soon,  therefore,  as  the  lady 
was  out  of  hearing,  he  took  a  chair,  and  made  the  query 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  13 

at  the  commencement  of  the  chapter,  which  we  shall  now 
repeat. 

"Have  you  no  idea  of  putting  the  boy  to  school,  Mr 
Easy  ? " 

Mr  Easy  crossed  his  legs,  and  clasped  his  hands 
together  over  his  knees,  as  he  always  did  when  he  was 
about  to  commence  an  argument. 

"  The  great  objection  that  I  have  to  sending  a  boy  to 
school,  Dr  Middleton,  is,  that  I  conceive  that  the  discipline 
enforced  is,  not  only  contrary  to  the  rights  of  man,  but 
also  in  opposition  to  all  sound  sense  and  common  judg- 
ment. Not  content  with  punishment,  which  is  in  itself 
erroneous,  and  an  infringement  of  social  justice,  they 
even  degrade  the  minds  of  the  boys  still  more  by  applying 
punishment  to  the  most  degraded  part,  adding  contumely 
to  tyranny.  Of  course,  it  is  intended  that  a  boy  who  is 
sent  to  school  should  gain  by  precept  and  example  ;  but  is 
he  to  learn  benevolence  by  the  angry  look  and  the  flourish 
of  the  vindictive  birch, — or  forbearance,  by  the  cruelty 
of  the  ushers, — or  patience,  when  the  masters  over  him 
are  out  of  all  patience, — or  modesty,  when  his  nether 
parts  are  exposed  to  general  examination  ?  Is  he  not 
daily  reading  a  lesson  at  variance  with  that  equality  which 
we  all  possess,  but  of  which  we  are  unjustly  deprived  ? 
Why  should  there  be  a  distinction  between  the  flogger 
and  the  floggee  ?  Are  they  not  both  fashioned  alike 
after  God's  image,  endowed  with  the  same  reason,  having 
an  equal  right  to  what  the  world  offers,  and  which  was 
intended  by  Providence  to  be  equally  distributed  ,''  Is  it 
not  that  the  sacred  inheritance  of  all,  which  has  tyrannously 
and  impiously  been  ravished  from  the  many  for  the  benefit 
of  the  few,  and  which  ravishment,  from  long  custom  of 
iniquity  and  inculcation  of  false  precepts,  has  too  long 
been  basely  submitted  to  ?  Is  it  not  the  duty  of  a  father 
to  preserve  his  only  son  from  imbibing  these  dangerous 
and  debasing  errors,  which  will  render  him  only  one  of 
a  vile  herd  who  are  content  to  suffer,  provided  that  they 
live  ?     And  yet  are  not  these  very  errors   inculcated  at 


14  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

school,  and  impressed  upon  their  mind  inversely  by'  the 
birch  ?  Do  not  they  there  receive  their  first  lesson  in 
slavery  with  the  first  lesson  in  A  B  C  ;  and  are  not  their 
minds  thereby  prostrated,  so  as  never  to  rise  again,  but 
ever  to  bow^  to  despotism,  to  cringe  to  rank,  to  think 
and  act  by  the  precepts  of  others,  and  to  tacitly  disavow 
that  sacred  equality  which  is  our  birthright  ?  No,  sir, 
without  they  can  teach  without  resorting  to  such  a  funda- 
mental error  as  flogging,  my  boy  shall  never  go  to 
school." 

And  Mr  Easy  threw  himself  back  in  his  chair,  imagin- 
ing like  all  philosophers,  that  he  had  said  something  very 
clever. 

Dr  Middleton  knew  his  man,  and  therefore  patiently 
waited  until  he  had  exhausted  his  oratory. 

"I  will  grant,"  said  the  Doctor  at  last,  "that  all  you 
say  may  have  great  truth  in  it ;  but,  Mr  Easy,  do  you 
not  think  that  by  not  permitting  a  boy  to  be  educated, 
you  allow  him  to  remain  more  open  to  that  very  error 
of  which  you  speak  .''  It  is  only  education  which  will 
conquer  prejudice,  and  enable  a  man  to  break  through 
the  trammels  of  custom.  Now,  allowing  that  the  birch 
is  used,  yet  it  is  at  a  period  when  the  young  mind  is 
so  elastic  as  to  soon  become  indifferent  j  and  after  he 
has  attained  the  usual  rudiments  of  education,  you  will 
then  find  him  prepared  to  receive  those  lessons  which 
you  can  yourself  instil." 

"  I  will  teach  him  everything  myself,"  replied  Mr  Easy, 
folding  his  arms  consequentially  and  determinedly. 

"  I  do  not  doubt  your  capability,  Mr  Easy ;  but  un- 
fortunately you  will  always  have  a  difficulty  which  you 
never  can  get  over.  Excuse  me,  I  know  what  you  are 
capable  of,  and  the  boy  would  indeed  be  happy  with  such 
a  preceptor,  but — if  I  must  speak  plain — you  must  be 
aware  as  well  as  I  am,  that  the  maternal  fondness  of  Mrs 
Easy  will  always  be  a  bar  to  your  intention.  He  is  already 
so  spoiled  by  her,  that  he  will  not  obey  ;  and  without 
obedience  you  cannot  inculcate.' 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  15 

**  I  grant,  my  dear  sir,  that  there  is  a  difficulty  on  that 
point ;  but  maternal  weakness  must  then  be  overcome  by 
paternal  severity." 

"  May  I  ask  how,  Mr  Easy  ?  for  it  appears  to  me 
impossible." 

**  Impossible  !     By    heavens,    I'll    make    him    obey,    or 

I'll "    — Here    Mr    Easy    stopped    before    the    word 

flog  was  fairly  out  of  his  mouth, — ''I'll  know  the  reason 
why,  Dr  Middleton." 

Dr  Middleton  checked  his  inclination  to  laugh,  and 
replied,  "That  you  would  hit  upon  some  scheme,  by 
which  you  would  obtain  the  necessary  power  over  him,  I 
have  no  doubt ;  but  what  will  be  the  consequence  ?  The 
boy  will  consider  his  mother  as  a  protector,  and  you  as  a 
tyrant.  He  will  have  an  aversion  to  you,  and  with  that 
aversion  he  will  never  pay  respect  and  attention  to  your 
valuable  precepts  when  he  arrives  at  an  age  to  understand 
them.  Now  it  appears  to  me  that  this  difficulty  which 
you  have  raised  may  be  got  over.  I  know  a  very  worthy 
clergyman  who  does  not  use  the  birch ;  but  I  will  write, 
and  put  the  direct  question  to  him  j  and  then  if  your  boy 
is  removed  from  the  danger  arising  from  Mrs  Easy's  over- 
indulgence, in  a  short  time  he  will  be  ready  for  your  more 
important  tuition." 

"I  think,"  replied  Mr  Easy,  after  a  pause,  "that  what 
you  say  merits  consideration.  I  acknowledge  that  in 
consequence  of  Mrs  Easy's  nonsensical  indulgence,  the  boy 
is  unruly,  and  will  not  obey  me  at  present ;  and  if  your 
friend  does  not  apply  the  rod,  I  will  think  seriously  of 
sending  my  son  John  to  him  to  learn  the  elements." 

The  Doctor  had  gained  his  point  by  flattering  the 
philosopher. 

In  a  day  he  returned  with  a  letter  from  the  pedagogue 
in  answer  to  one  supposed  to  be  sent  to  him,  in  which  the 
use  of  the  birch  was  indignantly  disclaimed,  and  Mr  Easy 
announced  to  his  wife,  when  they  met  that  day  at  tea-time, 
his  intentions  with  regard  to  his  son  John. 

"To  school,  Mr  Easy?  what,  send  Johnny  to  school! 
a  mere  infant  to  school !  " 


i6  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

**  Surely,  my  dear,  you  must  be  aware  that  at  nine  years 
it  is  high  time  that  he  learnt  to  read." 

"  "Why  he  almost  reads  already,  Mr  Easy ;  surely  I  can 
teach  him  that.     Does  he  not,  Sarah  ? " 

"  Lord  bless  him,  yes,  ma'am,  he  was  saying  his  letters 
yesterday." 

"  Oh,  Mr  Easy,  what  can  have  put  this  in  your  head  ? 
Johnny,  dear,  come  here — tell  me  now  what's  the  letter 
A  ?     You  were  singing  it  in  the  garden  this  morning." 

"I  want  some  sugar,"  replied  Johnny,  stretching  his 
arm  over  the  table  to  the  sugar-basin,  which  was  out  of 
his  reach. 

"Well,  my  love,  you  shall  have  a  great  lump  if  you 
will  tell  me  what's  the  letter  A." 

"  A  was  an  archer,  and  shot  at  a  frog,"  replied  Johnny 
in  a  surly  tone. 

'*  There  now,  Mr  Easy ;  and  he  can  go  through  the 
whole  alphabet — can't  he,  Sarah  ?  " 

"  That  he  can,  the  dear — can't  you,  Johnny  dear  ?  " 

"No,"  replied  Johnny. 

"  Yes,  you  can,  my  love  j  you  know  what's  the  letter  B. 
Now  don't  you  ?  " 

*'  Yes,"  replied  Johnny. 

"There,  Mr  Easy,  you  see  what  the  boy  knows,  and 
how  obedient  he  is  too.  Come,  Johnny  dear,  tell  us  what 
was  B  ? " 

"  No,  I  won't,"  replied  Johnny,  "  I  wan't  some  more 
sugar;"  and  Johnny,  who  had  climbed  on  a  chair,  spread 
himself  over  the  table  to  reach  it. 

"  Mercy  !  Sarah,  pull  him  off — he'll  upset  the  urn," 
screamed  Mrs  Easy.  Sarah  caught  hold  of  Johnny  by  the 
loins  to  pull  him  back,  but  Johnny,  resisting  the  interfer- 
ence, turned  round  on  his  back  as  he  lay  on  the  table,  and 
kicked  Sarah  in  the  face,  just  as  she  made  another  desperate 
grasp  at  him.  The  rebound  from  the  kick,  given  as  he 
lay  on  a  smooth  mahogany  table,  brought  Johnny's  head  in 
contact  with  the  urn,  which  was  upset  in  the  opposite 
direction,  and,  notwithstanding  a  rapid  movement  on  the 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  17 

part  of  Mr  Easy,  he  received  a  sufficient  portion  of  boiling 
liquid  on  his  legs  to  scald  him  severely,  and  induce  him  to 
stamp  and  swear  in  a  very  unphilosophical  way.  In  the 
meantime  Sarah  and  Mrs  Easy  had  caught  up  Johnny,  and 
were  both  holding  him  at  the  same  time,  exclaiming  and 
lamenting.  The  pain  of  the  scald,  and  the  indifference 
shown  towards  him,  were  too  much  for  Mr  Easy's  temper 
to  put  up  with.  He  snatched  Johnny  out  of  their  arms, 
and,  quite  forgetting  his  equality  and  rights  of  man, 
belaboured  him  without  mercy.  Sarah  flew  in  to  interfere, 
and  received  a  blow  which  not  only  made  her  see  a 
thousand  stars,  but  sent  her  reeling  on  the  floor.  Mrs 
Easy  went  off  into  hysterics,  and  Johnny  howled  so  as  to 
be  heard  at  a  quarter  of  a  mile. 

How  long  Mr  Easy  would  have  continued  it  is  impossible 
to  say ;  but  the  door  opened,  and  Mr  Easy  looked  up  while 
still  administering  the  punishment,  and  perceived  Dr 
Middleton  in  mute  astonishment.  He  had  promised  to 
come  in  to  tea,  and  enforce  Mr  Easy's  argument?,  if  it 
were  necessary ;  but  it  certainly  appeared  to  him,  that  in 
the  argument  which  Mr  Easy  was  then  enforcing,  he 
required  no  assistance.  However,  at  the  entrance  of  Dr 
Middleton,  Johnny  was  dropped,  and  lay  roaring  on  the 
floor  ;  Sarah,  too,  remained  where  she  had  been  floored, 
Mrs  Easy  had  rolled  on  the  floor,  the  urn  was  also  on  the 
floor,  and  Mr  Easy,  although  not  floored,  had  not  a  leg  to 
stand  upon. 

Never  did  a  medical  man  look  in  more  opportunely. 
Mr  Easy  at  first  was  not  certainly  of  that  opinion, 
but  his  legs  became  so  painful  that  he  soon  became  a 
convert. 

Dr  Middleton,  as  in  duty  bound,  first  picked  up  Mrs 
Easy,  and  laid  her  on  the  sofa.  Sarah  rose,  picked  up 
Johnny,  and  carried  him,  kicking  and  roaring,  out  of  the 
room  ;  in  return  for  which  attention  she  received  sundry 
bites.  The  footman,  who  had  announced  the  doctor, 
picked  up  the  urn,  that  being  all  that  was  in  his  depart- 
ment.    Mr  Easy  threw  himself  panting  in  agony  on  the 

E  B 


1 8  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

other  sofa,  and  Dr  Middleton  was  excessively  embarrassed 
how  to  act :  he  perceived  that  Mr  Easy  required  his  assist- 
ance, and  that  Mrs  Easy  could  do  without  it ;  but  how  to 
leave  a  lady,  who  was  half  really  and  half  pretendedly  in 
hysterics,  was  difficult ;  for  if  he  attempted  to  leave  her, 
she  kicked  and  flounced,  and  burst  out  the  more.  At  last 
Dr  Middleton  rang  the  bell,  which  brought  the  footman, 
who  summoned  all  the  maids,  who  carried  Mrs  Easy 
upstairs,  and  then  the  Doctor  was  able  to  attend  to  the 
only  patient  who  really  required  his  assistance.  Mr  Easy 
explained  the  aifair  in  few  words,  broken  into  ejaculations 
from  pain,  as  the  Doctor  removed  his  stockings.  From 
the  applications  of  Dr  Middleton,  Mr  Easy  soon  obtained 
bodily  relief  J  but  what  annoyed  him  still  more  than  his 
scalded  legs,  was  the  Doctor  having  been  a  witness  to 
his  infringement  of  the  equality  and  rights  of  man.  Dr 
Middleton  perceived  this,  and  he  knew  also  how  to  pour 
balm  into  that  wound. 

"  My  dear  Mr  Easy,  I  am  very  sorry  that  you  have  had 
this  accident,  for  which  you  are  indebted  to  Mrs  Easy's 
foohsh  indulgence  of  the  boy  ;  but  I  am  glad  to  perceive 
that  you  have  taken  up  those  parental  duties  which  are 
inculcated  by  the  Scriptures.  Solomon  says,  *  that  he  who 
spares  the  rod,  spoils  the  child,'  thereby  implying  that  it  is 
the  duty  of  a  father  to  correct  his  children,  and  in  a  father, 
the  so  doing  does  not  interfere  with  the  rights  of  man,  or 
any  natural  equality,  for  the  son  being  a  part  or  portion  of 
the  father,  he  is  only  correcting  his  own  self;  and  the 
proof  of  it  is,  that  a  father,  in  punishing  his  own  son,  feels 
as  much  pain  in  so  doing  as  if  he  were  himself  punished. 
It  is,  therefore,  nothing  but  self-discipline,  which  is  strictly 
enjoined  us  by  the  Scriptures." 

"  That  is  exactly  my  opinion,"  replied  Mr  Easy,  com- 
forted at  the  Doctor  having  so  logically  got  him  out  of 
the  scrape.  "  But — he  shall  go  to  school  to-morrow,  that 
I'm  determined  on." 

"  He  will  have  to  thank  Mrs  Easy  for  that,"  replied  the 
Doctor. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  19 

"Exactly,"  replied  Mr  Easy.  "Doctor,  my  legs  are 
getting  very  hot  again." 

"  Continue  to  bathe  them  with  the  vinegar  and  water, 
Mr  Easy,  until  I  send  you  an  embrocation,  which  will  give 
you  immediate  relief.  I  will  call  to-morrow.  By-the-bye, 
I  am  to  see  a  little  patient  at  Mr  Bonnycastle's  :  if  it  is  any 
accommodation,  I  will  take  your  son  with  me." 

"It  will  be  a  great  accommodation.  Doctor,"  replied 
Mr  Easy. 

"  Then,  my  dear  sir,  I  will  just  go  up  and  see  how  Mrs 
Easy  is,  and  to-morrow  I  will  call  at  ten.  I  can  wait  an 
hour.     Good-night." 

"  Good-night,  Doctor." 

The  doctor  had  his  game  to  play  with  Mrs  Easy.  He 
magnified  her  husband's  accident — he  magnified  his  wrath, 
and  advised  her  by  no  means  to  say  one  word,  until  he  was 
well  and  more  pacified.  The  next  day  he  repeated  this 
dose,  and,  in  spite  of  the  ejaculations  of  Sarah,  and  the 
tears  of  Mrs  Easy,  who  dared  not  venture  to  plead  her 
cause,  and  the  violent  resistance  of  Master  Johnny,  who 
appeared  to  have  a  presentiment  of  what  was  to  come,  our 
hero  was  put  into  Dr  Middleton's  chariot,  and  with  the 
exception  of  one  plate  of  glass,  which  he  kicked  out  of  the 
window  with  his  feet,  and  for  which  feat  the  Doctor,  now 
that  he  had  him  all  to  himself,  boxed  his  ears  till  he  was 
nearly  blind,  he  was,  without  any  further  eventful  occur- 
rence, carried  by  the  Doctor's  footman  into  the  parlour  of 
Mr  Bonnycastle. 


Chapter    V 

Jack  Easy  is  sent  to  a  school  at  which  there  is  no  flogging. 

Master  Jack  had  been  plumped  down  in  a  chair  by  the 
Doctor's  servant,  who,  as  he  quitted  him,  first  looked  at 
his  own  hands,  from  which  the  blood  was  drawn  in  several 
parts,  and  then  at  Master  Jack,  with  his  teeth  closed,  and 


•20  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

lips  compressed,  as  much  as  to  say,  **  If  I  only  dared,  would 
not  I,  that's  all !  "  and  then  walked  out  of  the  room,  repaired 
to  the  carriage  at  the  front  door,  when  he  showed  his  hands 
to  the  coachman,  who  looked  down  from  his  box  in  great 
commiseration,  at  the  same  time  fully  sharing  his  fellow - 
servant's  indignation.  But  we  must  repair  to  the  parlour. 
Dr  Middleton  ran  over  a  newspaper,  while  Johnny  sat  on 
the  chair  all  of  a  heap,  looking  like  a  lump  of  sulks,  with 
his  feet  on  the  upper  front  bar,  and  his  knees  almost  up  to 
his  nose.     He  was  a  promising  pupil.  Jack. 

Mr  Bonnycastle  made  his  appearance — a  tall,  well-built, 
handsome,  fair  man,  with  a  fine  powdered  head,  dressed  in 
solemn  black,  and  knee  buckles ;  his  linen  beautifully 
clean,  and  with  a  peculiar  bland  expression  of  countenance. 
When  he  smiled  he  showed  a  row  of  teeth  white  as  ivory, 
and  his  mild  blue  eye  was  the  ne  plus  ultra  of  beneficence. 
He  was  the  beau-ideal  of  a  preceptor,  and  it  was  impossible 
to  see  him  and  hear  his  mild  pleasing  voice,  without  wish- 
ing that  all  your  sons  were  under  his  protection.  He  was 
a  ripe  scholar,  and  a  good  one,  and  at  the  time  we  speak 
of,  had  the  care  of  upwards  of  one  hundred  boys.  He 
was  celebrated  for  turning  them  out  well,  and  many  of  his 
pupils  were  rising  fast  in  the  senate,  as  well  as  distinguish- 
ing themselves  in  the  higher  professions. 

Dr  Middleton,  who  was  on  intimate  terms  with  Bonny- 
castle, rose  as  he  entered  the  room,  and  they  shook  hands. 
Middleton  then  turned  to  where  Jack  sat,  and  pointing  to 
him,  said,  "  Look  there." 

Bonnycastle  smiled.  "  I  cannot  say  that  I  have  had 
worse,  but  I  have  almost  as  bad.  I  will  apply  the  Prome- 
thean torch,  and  soon  vivify  that  rude  mass.  Come,  sit 
down,  Middleton." 

"  But,"  said  the  Doctor,  as  he  resumed  his  chair,  **  tell 
me,  Bonnycastle,  how  you  will  possibly  manage  to  lick  such 
a  cub  into  shape,  when  you  do  not  resort  to  flogging  ? " 

**  I  have  no  opinion  of  flogging,  and  therefore  I  do  not 
resort  to  it.  The  fact  is,  I  was  at  Harrow  myself,  and  was 
rather  a  pickle.     I  was  called  up  as  often  as  most  boys  in 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  21 

the  school,  and  I  perfectly  recollect,  that  eventually  I  cared 
nothing  for  a  flogging.  I  had  become  case-hardened.  It 
is  the  least  effective  part  that  you  can  touch  a  boy  upon. 
If  leaves  nothing  behind  to  refresh  their  memories." 

"  I  should  have  thought  otherwise." 

*'  My  dear  Middleton,  I  can  produce  more  effect  by  one 
caning  than  twenty  floggings.  Observe,  you  flog  upon  a 
part  the  most  quiescent ;  but  you  cane  upon  all  parts,  from 
the  head  to  the  heels.  Now,  when  once  the  first  sting  of 
the  birch  is  over,  then  a  dull  sensation  comes  over  the  part, 
and  the  pain  after  that  is  nothing ;  whereas  a  good  sound 
caning  leaves  sores  and  bruises  in  every  part,  and  on  all  the 
parts  which  are  required  for  muscular  action.  After  a 
flogging,  a  boy  may  run  out  in  the  hours  of  recreation,  and 
join  his  playmates  as  well  as  ever,  but  a  good  caning  tells 
a  very  different  tale  ;  he  cannot  move  one  part  of  his  body 
without  being  reminded  for  days  by  the  pain  of  the  punish- 
ment he  has  undergone,  and  he  is  very  careful  how  he  is 
called  up  again." 

"  My  dear  sir,  I  really  had  an  idea  that  you  were  exces- 
sively lenient,"  replied  Middleton,  laughing  j  *'  I  am  glad 
that  I  am  under  a  mistake." 

*'  Look  at  that  cub.  Doctor,  sitting  there  more  like  a  brute 
than  a  reasonable  being  ;  do  you  imagine  that  I  could  ever 
lick  it  into  shape  without  strong  measures  ?  At  the  same 
time,  allow  me  to  say,  that  I  consider  my  system  by  far  the 
best.  At  the  public  schools,  punishment  is  no  check ;  it 
is  so  trifling  that  it  is  derided :  with  me  punishment  is 
punishment  in  the  true  sense  of  the  word,  and  the  con- 
sequence is,  that  it  is  much  more  seldom  resorted  to." 

"  You  are  a  terrorist.  Bonny  castle." 

**  The  two  strongest  impulses  in  our  nature  are  fear  and 
love.  In  theory,  acting  upon  the  latter  is  very  beautiful ; 
but  in  practice,  I  never  found  it  to  answer, — and  for  the 
best  of  reasons,  our  self-love  is  stronger  than  our  love  for 
others.  Now  I  never  yet  found  fear  to  fail,  for  the  very 
same  reason  that  the  other  does,  because  with  fear  we  act 
upon  self-love,  and  nothing  else." 


22  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  And  yet  we  have  many  now  who  would  introduce  a 
system  of  schooling  without  correction  5  and  who  maintain 
that  the  present  system  is  degrading." 

"  There  are  a  great  many  fools  in  this  world,  Doctor." 

"That  reminds  me  of  this  boy's  father,"  replied  Dr 
Middleton ;  who  then  detailed  to  the  pedagogue  the  idio- 
syncracy  of  Mr  Easy,  and  all  the  circumstances  attending 
Jack  being  sent  to  his  school. 

"  There  is  no  time  to  be  lost  then,  Doctor.  I  must  con- 
quer this  young  gentleman  before  his  parents  call  to  see 
him.  Depend  upon  it,  in  a  week  I  will  have  him  obedient 
and  well  broke  in." 

Dr  Middleton  wished  Jack  good-bye,  and  told  him  to  be 
a  good  boy.  Jack  did  not  vouchsafe  to  answer.  *'  Never 
mind.  Doctor,  he  will  be  more  polished  next  time  you  call 
here,  depend  upon  it."     And  the  Doctor  departed. 

Although  Mr  Bonnycastle  was  severe,  he  was  very  judi- 
cious. Mischief  of  all  kinds  was  visited  but  by  slender 
punishment,  such  as  being  kept  in  at  play  hours,  &c. ;  and 
he  seldom  interfered  with  the  boys  for  fighting,  although 
he  checked  decided  oppression.  The  great  "  sitte  qua  non" 
with  him  was  attention  to  their  studies.  He  soon  discovered 
the  capabilities  of  his  pupils,  and  he  forced  them  accord- 
ingly ;  but  the  idle  boy,  the  bird  who  "  could  sing  and 
wou'dn't  sing,"  received  no  mercy.  The  consequence  was, 
that  he  turned  out  the  cleverest  boys,  and  his  conduct  was 
so  uniform  and  unvarying  in  its  tenor,  that  if  he  was  feared 
when  they  were  under  his  control,  he  was  invariably  liked 
by  those  whom  he  had  instructed,  and  they  continued  his 
friends  in  after-life. 

Mr  Bonnycastle  at  once  perceived  that  it  was  no  use 
coaxing  our  hero,  and  that  fear  was  the  only  attribute  by 
which  he  could  be  controlled.  So,  as  soon  as  Dr  Middleton 
had  quitted  the  room,  he  addressed  him  in  a  commanding 
tone,  "  Now,  boy,  what  is  your  name  ?" 

Jack  started ;  he  looked  up  at  his  master,  perceived  his 
eye  fixed  upon  him,  and  a  countenance  not  to  be  played 
with.     Jack  was  no  fool,  and  somehow  or  another,  the 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  23 

discipline  he  had  received  from  his  father  had  given  him 
some  intimation  of  what  was  to  come.  All  this  put 
together  induced  Jack  to  condescend  to  answer,  with  his 
forefinger  between  his  teeth,  "  Johnny." 

*'  And  what  is  your  other  name,  sir  ?  " 

Jack,  who  appeared  to  repent  his  condescension,  did  not 
at  first  answer,  but  he  looked  again  in  Mr  Bonnycastle's 
face,  and  then  round  the  room :  there  was  no  one  to  help 
him,  and  he  could  not  help  himself,  so  he  replied  "  Easy." 

**  Do  you  know  why  you  are  sent  to  school  ? " 

"  Scalding  father." 

"  No ;  you  are  sent  to  learn  to  read  and  write." 

"  But  I  won't  read  and  write,"  replied  Jack,  sulkily. 

*'  Yes,  you  will ;  and  you  are  going  to  read  your  letters 
now  directly." 

Jack  made  no  answer.  Mr  Bonnycastle  opened  a  sort 
of  bookcase,  and  displayed  to  John's  astonished  view  a 
series  of  canes,  ranged  up  and  down  like  billiard  cues,  and 
continued,  **  Do  you  know  what  those  are  for  ? " 

Jack  eyed  them  wistfully ;  he  had  some  faint  idea  that 
he  was  sure  to  be  better  acquainted  with  them,  but  he 
made  no  answer. 

**  They  are  to  teach  little  boys  to  read  and  write,  and 
now  I  am  going  to  teach  you.  You'll  soon  learn.  Look 
now  here,"  continued  Mr  Bonnycastle,  opening  a  book  with 
large  type,  and  taking  a  capital  at  the  head  of  a  chapter, 
about  half  an  inch  long.     "  Do  you  see  that  letter  ? " 

*'  Yes,"  replied  Johnny,  turning  his  eyes  away,  and 
picking  his  fingers. 

"  Well,  that  is  the  letter  B.  Do  you  see  it  ?  look  at 
it,  so  that  you  may  know  it  again.  That's  the  letter  B. 
Now  tell  me  what  letter  that  is  ? " 

Jack  now  determined  to  resist,  so  he  made  no  answer. 

"  So  you  cannot  tell ;  well,  then,  we  will  try  what  one 
of  these  little  fellows  will  do,"  said  Mr  Bonnycastle, 
taking  down  a  cane.  "Observe,  Johnny,  that's  the  letter 
B.     Now,  what  letter  is  that  ?     Answer  me  directly." 

"  I  won't  learn  to  read  and  write." 


24  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"Whack  came  the  cane  on  Johnny's  shoulders,  who 
burst  out  into  a  roar  as  he  writhed  with  pain. 

Mr  Bonnycastle  waited  a  few  seconds.  '*  That's  the 
letter  B.     Now  tell  me,  sir,  directly,  what  that  letter  is  ? " 

"  I'll  tell  my  mar:'     Whack  !     "  O  law  !  O  law  !  " 

"  What  letter  is  that  ?  " 

Johnny,  with  his  mouth  open,  panting,  and  the  tears 
on  his  cheeks,  answered,  indignantly,  "  Stop  till  I  tell 
Sarah." 

Whack  came  the  cane  again,  and  a  fresh  burst  from 
Johnny. 

"  What  letter's  that .? " 

"I  won't  tell,"  roared  Johnny,  "I  won't  tell — that  I 
won't." 

Whack — whack — whack,  and  a  pause.  "  I  told  you 
before,  that's  the  letter  B.  What  letter  is  that  ?  Tell 
me  directly." 

Johnny,  by  way  of  reply,  made  a  snatch  at  the  cane. 
Whack — he  caught  it,  certainly,  but  not  exactly  as  he 
would  have  wished.  Johnny  then  snatched  up  the  book, 
and  dashed  it  to  the  corner  of  the  room.  Whack,  whack. 
Johnny  attempted  to  seize  Mr  Bonnycastle  with  his  teeth. 
Whack,  whack,  whack,  whack ;  and  Johnny  fell  on  the 
carpet,  and  roared  with  pain.  Mr  Bonnycastle  then  left 
him  for  a  little  while,  to  recover  himself,  and  sat 
down. 

At  last  Johnny's  exclamations  settled  down  in  deep 
sobs,  and  then  Mr  Bonnycastle  said  to  him,  "  Now, 
Johnny,  you  perceive  that  you  must  do  as  you  are  bid, 
or  else  you  will  have  more  beating.  Get  up  immediately. 
Do  you  hear,  sir  ? " 

Somehow  or  another,  Johnny,  without  intending  it, 
stood  upon  his  feet. 

"  That's  a  good  boy ;  now  you  see,  by  getting  up  as 
you  were  bid,  you  have  not  been  beaten.  Now,  Johnny, 
you  must  go  and  bring  the  book  from  where  you  threw 
it  down.     Do  you  hear,  sir  ?  bring  it  directly  !  " 

Johnny  looked  at  Mr  Bonnycastle  and  the  cane.     With 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  25 

every  intention  to  refuse,  Johnny  picked  up  the  book  and 
laid  it  on  the  table. 

"That's  a  good  boy;  now  we  will  find  the  letter  B. 
Here  it  is  :  now,  Johnny,  tell  me  what  that  letter  is  ? " 

Johnny  made  no  answer. 

"Tell  me  directly,  sir,"  said  Mr  Bonnycastle,  raising 
his  cane  up  in  the  air.  The  appeal  was  too  powerful. 
Johnny  eyed  the  cane ;  it  moved,  it  was  coming.  Breath- 
lessly he  shrieked  out,  "  B  !  " 

"  Very  well  indeed,  Johnny — very  well.  Now  your 
first  lesson  is  over,  and  you  shall  go  to  bed.  You  have 
learnt  more  than  you  think  for.  To-morrow  we  will 
begin  again.     Now  we'll  put  the  cane  by." 

Mr  Bonnycastle  rang  the  bell,  and  desired  Master 
Johnny  to  be  put  to  bed,  in  a  room  by  himself,  and  not 
to  give  him  any  supper,  as  hunger  would,  the  next 
morning,  much  facilitate  his  studies.  Pain  and  hunger 
alone  will  tame  brutes,  and  the  same  remedy  must  be 
applied  to  conquer  those  passions  in  man  which  assimilate 
him  with  brutes.  Johnny  was  conducted  to  bed,  although 
it  was  but  six  o'clock.  He  was  not  only  in  pain,  but  his 
ideas  were  confused ;  and  no  wonder,  after  all  his  life 
having  been  humoured  and  indulged — never  punished 
until  the  day  before.  After  all  the  caresses  of  his  mother 
and  Sarah,  which  he  never  knew  the  value  of — after 
stuffing  himself  all  day  long,  and  being  tempted  to  eat 
till  he  turned  away  in  satiety,  to  find  himself  without 
his  mother,  without  Sarah,  without  supper — covered  with 
wheals,  and,  what  was  worse  than  all,  without  his  own 
way.  No  wonder  Johnny  was  confused ;  at  the  same 
time  that  he  was  subdued ;  and,  as  Mr  Bonnycastle  had 
truly  told  him,  he  had  learnt  more  than  he  had  any  idea 
of.  And  what  would  Mrs  Easy  have  said,  had  she  known 
all  this — and  Sarah,  too .''  And  Mr  Easy,  with  his  rights 
of  man  ?  At  the  very  time  that  Johnny  was  having  the 
devil  driven  out  of  him,  they  were  consoling  themselves 
with  the  idea,  that,  at  all  events,  there  was  no  birch 
used  at  Mr  Bonnycastle's,  quite  losing  sight  of  the  fact. 


26  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

that  as  there  are  more  ways  of  killing  a  dog  besides 
hanging  him,  so  are  there  more  ways  of  teaching  than 
a  posteriori.  Happy  in  their  ignorance,  they  all  went 
fast  asleep,  little  dreaming  that  Johnny  was  already  so 
far  advanced  in  knowledge,  as  to  have  a  tolerable  com- 
prehension of  the  mystery  of  cane.  As  for  Johnny,  he 
had  cried  himself  to  sleep,  at  least  six  hours  before  them. 


Chapter  VI 

In  which  Jack  makes  essay  of  his  father's  sublime  philosophy,  and  arrives 
very  near  to  truth  at  last. 

The  next  morning  Master  Jack  Easy  was  not  only  very 
sore,  but  very  hungry,  and  as  Mr  Bonnycastle  informed 
him  that  he  would  not  only  have  plenty  of  cane,  but  also 
no  breakfast,  if  he  did  not  learn  his  letters,  Johnny  had 
wisdom  enough  to  say  the  whole  alphabet,  for  which  he 
received  a  great  deal  of  praise,  the  which,  if  he  did  not 
duly  appreciate,  he  at  all  events  infinitely  preferred  to 
beating.  Mr  Bonnycastle  perceived  that  he  had  conquered 
the  boy  by  one  hour's  well-timed  severity.  He  therefore 
handed  him  over  to  the  ushers  in  the  school,  and  as  they 
were  equally  empowered  to  administer  the  needful  impulse, 
Johnny  very  soon  became  a  very  tractable  boy. 

It  may  be  imagined  that  the  absence  of  Johnny  was 
severely  felt  at  home,  but  such  was  not  the  case.  In  the 
first  place,  Dr  Middleton  had  pointed  out  to  Mrs  Easy 
that  there  was  no  flogging  at  the  school,  and  that  the 
punishment  received  by  Johnny  from  his  father  would 
very  likely  be  repeated — and  in  the  next,  although  Mrs 
Easy  thought  that  she  never  could  have  survived  the 
parting  with  her  own  son,  she  soon  found  out  that  she 
was  much  happier  without  him.  A  spoilt  child  is  always 
a  source  of  anxiety  and  worry,  and  after  Johnny's  de- 
parture Mrs  Easy  found  a  quiet  and  repose  much  more 
suited  to  her  disposition.     Gradually  she  weaned  herself 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  27 

from  him,  and,  satisfied  with  seeing  him  occasionally, 
and  hearing  the  reports  of  Dr  Middleton,  she,  at  last, 
was  quite  reconciled  to  his  being  at  school,  and  not 
coming  back  except  during  the  holidays.  John  Easy 
made  great  progress  j  he  had  good  natural  abilities,  and 
Mr  Easy  rubbed  his  hands  when  he  saw  the  Doctor, 
saying,  "  Yes,  let  them  have  him  for  a  year  or  two 
longer,  and  then  I'll  finish  him  myself."  Each  vacation 
he  had  attempted  to  instil  into  Johnny's  mind  the  equal 
rights  of  man.  Johnny  appeared  to  pay  but  little  attention 
to  his  father's  discourses,  but  evidently  showed  that  they 
were  not  altogether  thrown  away,  as  he  helped  himself 
to  everything  he  wanted,  without  asking  leave.  And 
thus  was  our  hero  educated  until  he  arrived  at  the  age 
of  sixteen,  when  he  was  a  stout,  good-looking  boy, 
with  plenty  to  say  for  himself, — indeed,  when  it  suited 
his  purpose,  he  could  out-talk  his  father. 

Nothing  pleased  Mr  Easy  so  much  as  Jack's  loquacity. 
**  That's  right ;  argue  the  point,  Jack — argue  the  point, 
boy,"  would  he  say,  as  Jack  disputed  with  his  mother. 
And  then  he  would  turn  to  the  Doctor,  rubbing  his 
hands,  and  observe,  "  Depend  upon  it.  Jack  will  be  a 
great,  a  very  great  man."  And  then  he  would  call  Jack 
and  give  him  a  guinea  for  his  cleverness  5  and  at  last 
Jack  thought  it  a  very  clever  thing  to  argue.  He  never 
would  attempt  to  argue  with  Mr  Bonnycastle,  because 
he  was  aware  that  Mr  Bonnycastle's  arguments  were  too 
strong  for  him,  but  he  argued  with  all  the  boys  until  it 
ended  in  a  fight,  which  decided  the  point ;  and  he  some- 
times argued  with  the  ushers.  In  short,  at  the  time  we 
now  speak  of,  which  was  at  the  breaking  up  of  the 
Midsummer  holidays,  Jack  was  as  full  of  argument  as 
he  was  fond  of  it.  He  would  argue  the  point  to  the 
point  of  a  needle,  and  he  would  divide  that  point  into 
as  many  as  there  were  days  of  the  year,  and  argue  upon 
each.  In  short,  there  was  no  end  to  Jack's  arguing  the 
point,  although  there  seldom  was  point  to  his  argument. 

Jack  had  been  fishing  in  the  river,  without  any  success. 


28  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

for  a  whole  morning,  and  observed  a  large  pond  which 
had  the  appearance  of  being  well  stocked — he  cleared 
the  park  palings,  and  threw  in  his  line.  He  had  pulled 
up  several  fine  fish,  when  he  was  accosted  by  the  pro- 
prietor, accompanied  by  a  couple  of  keepers. 

"  May  I  request  the  pleasure  of  your  name,  young 
gentleman  .'' "  said  the  proprietor  to  Jack. 

Now  Jack  was  always  urbane  and  polite. 

"Certainly,  sir;  my  name  is  Easy,  very  much  at  your 
service." 

**  And  you  appear  to  me  to  be  taking  it  very  easy," 
replied  the  gentleman.  "Pray,  sir,  may  I  enquire  whether 
you  are  aware  that  you  are  trespassing  ? " 

"  The  word  trespass,  my  dear  sir,"  replied  Jack,  **  will 
admit  of  much  argument,  and  I  will  divide  it  into  three 
heads.  It  implies,  according  to  the  conventional  meaning, 
coming  without  permission  upon  the  land  or  property  of 
another.  Now,  sir,  the  question  may  all  be  resolved  in  the 
following  Was  not  the  world  made  for  all  ?  and  has  any 
one,  or  any  portion  of  its  inhabitants,  an  exclusive  right  to 
claim  any  part  of  it,  as  his  property  ?  If  you  please,  I  have 
laid  down  the  proposition,  and  we  will  now  argue  the 
point." 

The  gentleman  who  accosted  Jack  had  heard  of  Mr  Easy 
and  his  arguments ;  he  was  a  humorist,  and  more  inclined 
to  laugh  than  to  be  angry ;  at  the  same  time  that  he  con- 
sidered it  necessary  to  show  Jack  that  under  existing 
circumstances  they  were  not  tenable. 

"  But,  Mr  Easy,  allowing  the  trespass  on  the  property 
to  be  venial,  surely  you  do  not  mean  to  say  that  you  are 
justified  in  taking  my  fish  ;  I  bought  the  fish,  and  stocked 
the  pond,  and  have  fed  them  ever  since.  You  cannot  deny 
but  that  they  are  private  property,  and  that  to  take  them 
is  a  theft  ?  " 

"  That  will  again  admit  of  much  ratiocination,  my  dear 
sir,"  replied  Jack  ;  "  but, — I  beg  your  pardon,  I  have  a 
fish."  Jack  pulled  up  a  large  carp,  much  to  the  indignation 
of  the  keepers,  and   to  the  amusement  of  their   master, 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  29 

unhooked  it,  placed  it  in  his  basket,  renewed  his  bait  with 
the  greatest  sang  froid,  and  then  throwing  in  his  hne, 
resumed  his  discourse.  **  As  I  was  observing,  my  dear 
sir,"  continued  Jack,  "  that  will  admit  of  much  ratiocina- 
tion. All  the  creatures  of  the  earth  were  given  to  man 
for  his  use — man  means  mankind — they  were  never  intended 
to  be  made  a  monopoly  of.  Water  is  also  the  gift  of 
heaven,  and  meant  for  the  use  of  all.  We  now  come  to 
the  question  how  far  the  fish  are  your  property.  If  the 
fish  only  bred  on  purpose  to  please  you,  and  make  you  a 
present  of  their  stock,  it  might  then  require  a  different 
line  of  argument ;  but  as  in  breeding  they  only  acted  in 
obedience  to  an  instinct  with  which  they  are  endowed  on 
purpose  that  they  may  supply  man,  I  submit  to  you  that 
you  cannot  prove  these  fish  to  be  yours  more  than  mine. 
As  for  feeding  with  the  idea  that  they  were  your  own, 
that  is  not  an  unusual  case  in  this  world,  even  when  a  man 
is  giving  bread  and  butter  to  his  children.  Further — but 
I  have  another  bite — I  beg  your  pardon,  my  dear  sir — ah ! 
he's  off  again " 

"  Then,  Mr  Easy,  you  mean  to  say  that  the  world 
and  its  contents  are  made  for  all." 

"Exactly,  sir;  that  is  my  father's  opinion,  who  is 
a  very  great  philosopher." 

*'  How  then  does  your  father  account  for  some  possess- 
ing property  and  others  being  without  it .? " 

"  Because  those  who  are  the  strongest  have  deprived 
those  who  are  weaker." 

"  But  would  not  that  be  always  the  case  even  if  we 
were  in  that  state  of  general  inheritance  which  you  have 
supposed  ?  For  instance,  allowing  two  men  to  chase  the 
same  animal,  and  both  to  come  up  to  it  at  the  same  time, 
would  not  the  strongest  bear  it  off  ? " 

"I  grant  that,  sir." 

*'  Well,  then,  where  is  your  equality  ?  " 

"  That  does  not  disprove  that  men  were  not  intended  to 
be  equal ;  it  only  proves  that  they  are  not  so.  Neither 
does  it   disprove   that   everything  was   not   made  for  the 


30  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

benefit  of  all  -,  it  only  proves  that  the  strong  will  take 
advantage  of  the  weak,  which  is  very  natural." 

"  Oh !  you  grant  that  to  be  very  natural.  Well,  Mr 
Easy,  I  am  glad  to  perceive  that  we  are  of  one  mind,  and 
I  trust  we  shall  continue  so.  You'll  observe  that  I  and 
my  keepers  being  three,  we  are  the  strong  party  in  this 
instance,  and  admitting  your  argument,  that  the  fish  are  as 
much  yours  as  mine,  still  I  take  advantage  of  my  strength 
to  re-possess  myself  of  them,  which  is,  as  you  say,  very 
natural — James,  take  those  fish." 

"  If  you  please,"  interrupted  Jack,  "  we  will  argue 
that  point " 

"  Not  at  all ;  I  will  act  according  to  your  own  argu- 
ments— I  have  the  fish,  but  I  now  mean  to  have  more — 
that  fishing-rod  is  as  much  mine  as  yours,  and  being  the 
stronger  party  I  will  take  possession  of  it.  James,  William, 
take  that  fishing-rod, — it  is  ours." 

"  I  presume  you  will  first  allow  me  to  observe,"  replied 
Jack,  "  that  although  I  have  expressed  my  opinion  that  the 
earth  and  the  animals  on  it  were  made  for  us  all,  that  I 
never  yet  have  asserted,  that  what  a  man  creates  by  him- 
self, or  has  created  for  him  for  a  consideration,  is  not  his 
own  property." 

"  I  beg  your  pardon ;  the  trees  that  that  rod  was  made 
from  were  made  for  us  all,  and  if  you,  or  any  one  for  you, 
have  thought  proper  to  make  it  into  a  rod,  it  is  no  more 
my  fault  than  it  is  that  I  have  been  feeding  the  fish,  with 
the  supposition  that  they  were  my  own.  Everything  being 
common,  and  it  being  but  natural  that  the  strong  should 
take  advantage  of  the  weak,  I  must  take  that  rod  as  my 
property,  until  I  am  dispossessed  by  one  more  powerful. 
Moreover,  being  the  stronger  party,  and  having  possession 
of  this  land,  which  you  say  does  not  belong  to  me  more 
than  to  you — I  also  shall  direct  my  keepers  to  see  you  off 
this  property.  James,  take  the  rod — see  Mr  Easy  over 
the  park  palings.  Mr  Easy,  I  wish  you  a  good 
morning." 

"  Sir,  I  beg  your  pardon,  you  have  not  yet  heard  all  my 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  31 

arguments,"  replied  Jack,  who  did  not  approve  of  the 
conclusions  drawn. 

"  I  have  no  time  to  hear  more,  Mr  Easy ;  I  wish  you  a 
good  morning."  And  the  proprietor  departed,  leaving 
Jack  in  company  with  the  keepers. 

*'  I'll  trouble  you  for  that  rod,  master,"  said  William. 
James  was  very  busy  stringing  the  fish  through  the  gills 
upon  a  piece  of  osier. 

"At  all  events  you  will  hear  reason,"  said  Jack:  *' I 
have  arguments " 

"  I  never  heard  no  good  arguments  in  favour  of 
poaching,"  interrupted  the   keeper. 

"  You're  an  insolent  fellow,"  replied  Jack.  "It  is 
by  paying  such  vagabonds  as  you  that  people  are  able 
to  be  guilty  of  injustice." 

"  It's  by  paying  us  that  the  land  an't  poached — and  if 
there  be  some  excuse  for  a  poor  devil  who  is  out  of  work, 
there  be  none  for  you,  who  call  yourself  a  gentleman." 

"  According  to  his  'count,  as  we  be  all  equal,  he  be  no 
more  a  gentleman  than  we  be." 

"  Silence,  you  blackguard,  I  shall  not  condescend  to 
argue  with  such  as  you  :  if  I  did,  I  could  prove  that  you 
are  a  set  of  base  slaves,  who  have  just  as  much  right  to 
this  property  as  your  master  or  I  have." 

"  As  you  have,  I  dare  say,  master." 

'*  As  I  have,  you  scoundrel ;  this  pond  is  as  much  my 
property,  and  so  are  the  fish  in  it,  as  they  are  of  your 
master,  who  has  usurped  the  right." 

"  I  say,  James,  what  do  you  say,  shall  we  put  the 
young  gentleman  in  possession  of  his  property .? "  said 
William,  winking  to  the  other. 

James  took  the  hint,  they  seized  Jack  by  the  arms  and 
legs,  and  soused  him  into  the  pond.  Jack  arose  after 
a  deep  submersion,  and  floundered  on  shore  blowing  and 
spluttering.  But  in  the  meantime  the  keepers  had  walked 
away,  carrying  with  them  the  rod  and  line,  fish,  and  tin 
can  of  bait,  laughing  loudly  at  the  practical  joke  which 
they  had  played  our  hero. 


32  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  Well,"  thought  Jack,  *'  either  there  must  be  some 
mistake  in  my  father's  philosophy,  or  else  this  is  a  very 
wicked  world.     I  shall  submit  this  case  to  my  father." 

And  Jack  received  this  reply — "  I  have  told  you  before, 
Jack,  that  these  important  truths  will  not  at  present  be 
admitted — but  it  does  not  the  less  follow  that  they  are 
true.  This  is  the  age  of  iron,  in  which  might  has  become 
right — but  the  time  will  come  when  these  truths  will  be 
admitted,  and  your  father's  name  will  be  more  celebrated 
than  that  of  any  philosopher  of  ancient  days.  Recollect, 
Jack,  that  although  in  preaching  against  wrong  and 
advocating  the  rights  of  man,  you  will  be  treated  as  a 
martyr,  it  is  still  your  duty  to  persevere ;  and  if  you 
are  dragged  through  all  the  horse-ponds  in  the  kingdom, 
never  give  up  your  argument." 

"  That  I  never  will,  sir,"  replied  Jack ;  "  but  the 
next  time  I  argue  it  shall  be,  if  possible,  with  power 
on  my  side,  and,  at  all  events,  not  quite  so  near  a  pond." 

**  I  think,"  said  Mrs  Easy,  who  had  been  a  silent  listener, 
**  that  Jack  had  better  fish  in  the  river,  and  then,  if  he 
catches  no  fish,  at  all  events  he  will  not  be  soused  in 
the  water,  and  spoil  his  clothes." 

But  Mrs  Easy  was  no  philosopher. 

A  few  days  afterwards.  Jack  discovered,  one  fine 
morning,  on  the  other  side  of  a  hedge,  a  summer  apple- 
tree  bearing  tempting  fruit,  and  he  immediately  broke 
through  the  hedge,  and  climbing  the  tree,  as  our  first 
mother  did  before  him,  he  culled  the  fairest  and  did 
eat. 

**  I  say,  you  sir,  what  are  you  doing  there  ? "  cried 
a  rough  voice. 

Jack  looked  down,  and  perceived  a  stout,  thickset 
personage  in  grey  coat  and  red  waistcoat,  standing  under- 
neath him. 

**  Don't  you  see  what  I'm  about,"  replied  Jack,  "  I'm 
eating  apples — shall  I  throw  you  down  a  few  ? " 

"  Thank  you  kindly — the  fewer  that  are  pulled  the 
better  ;  perhaps,  as  you  are  so  free  to  give  them  to  others 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  33 

as  well  as  to  help  yourself,  you  may  think  that  they  are 
your  own  property  !  " 

"Not  a  bit  more  my  property  than  they  are  yours, 
my  good  man." 

"  I  guess  that's  something  like  the  truth  ;  but  you  are 
not  quite  at  the  truth  yet,  my  lad  ;  those  apples  are  mine, 
and  I'll  trouble  you  to  come  down  as  fast  as  you  please  -, 
when  you're  down  we  can  then  settle  our  accounts ; 
and,"  continued  the  man,  shaking  his  cudgel,  "depend 
upon  it  you  shall  have  your  receipt  in  full." 

Jack  did  not  much  like  the  appearance  of  things. 

"  My  good  man,"  said  he,  "it  is  quite  a  prejudice  on 
your  part  to  imagine  that  apples  were  not  given,  as  well 
as  all  other  fruit,  for  the  benefit  of  us  all — they  are 
common  property,  believe  me." 

**  That's  a  matter  of  opinion,  my  lad,  and  I  may  be 
allowed  to  have  my  own." 

"  You'll  find  it  in  the  Bible,"  says  Jack. 

"  I  never  did  yet,  and  I've  read  it  through  and  through 
all,  bating  the  'Pocryfar." 

"  Then,"  said  Jack,  "  go  home  and  fetch  the  Bible, 
and  I'll  prove  it  to  you." 

"  I  suspect  you'll  not  wait  till  I  come  back  again.  No, 
no ;  I  have  lost  plenty  of  apples,  and  have  long  wanted 
to  find  the  robbers  out ;  now  I've  caught  one  I'll  take 
care  that  he  don't  'scape  without  apple  sauce,  at  all  events 
— so  come  down,  you  young  thief,  come  down  directly — 
or  it  will  be  all  the  worse  for  you." 

"  Thank  you,"  said  Jack,  "  but  I  am  very  well  here. 
I  will,  if  you  please,  argue  the  point  from  where  I 
am. 

"  I've  no  time  to  argue  the  point,  my  lad ;  I've  plenty 
to  "do,  but  do  not  think  I'll  let  you  off.  If  you  don't 
choose  to  come  down,  why  then  you  may  stay  there,  and 
I'll  answer  for  it,  as  soon  as  work  is  done  I  shall  find 
you  safe  enough." 

"  What  can  be  done,"  thought  Jack,  "  with  a  man 
who  will  not  listen  to  argument  ?  What  a  world  is  this ! 
E  c 


34  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

— however,  he'll  not  find  me  here  when  he  comes  back, 
I've  a  notion." 

But  in  this  Jack  was  mistaken.  The  farmer  walked 
to  the  hedge,  and  called  to  a  boy,  who  took  his  orders  and 
ran  to  the  farm-house.  In  a  minute  or  two  a  large  bull- 
dog was  seen  bounding  along  the  orchard  to  his  master. 
"  Mark  him,  Caesar,"  said  the  farmer  to  the  dog,  "  mark 
him."  The  dog  crouched  down  on  the  grass,  with  his 
head  up,  and  eyes  glaring  at  Jack,  showing  a  range  of 
teeth,  that  drove  all  our  hero's  philosophy  out  of  his 
head. 

'*  I  can't  wait  here,  but  Caesar  can,  and  I  will  tell  you, 
as  a  friend,  that  if  he  gets  hold  of  you,  he'll  not  leave 
a  limb  of  you  together, — when  work's  done  I'll  come 
back  ; "  so  saying,  the  farmer  walked  off,  leaving  Jack 
and  the  dog  to  argue  the  point,  if  so  inclined.  What  a 
sad  jade  must  philosophy  be,  to  put  her  votaries  in  such 
predicaments  ! 

After  a  while  the  dog  laid  his  head  down  and  closed 
his  eyes,  as  if  asleep,  but  Jack  observed  that  at  the  least 
movement  on  his  part  one  eye  was  seen  partially  to  un- 
close ;  so  Jack,  like  a  prudent  man,  resolved  to  remain 
where  he  was.  He  picked  a  few  more  apples,  for  it  was 
his  dinner-time,  and  as  he  chewed  he  ruminated. 

Jack  had  been  but  a  few  minutes  ruminating  before 
he  was  interrupted  by  another  ruminating  animal,  no  less 
a  personage  than  a  bull,  who  had  been  turned  out  with 
full  possession  of  the  orchard,  and  who  now  advanced, 
bellowing  occasionally,  and  tossing  his  head  at  the  sight 
of  Caesar,  whom  he  considered  as  much  a  trespasser  as 
his  master  had  our  hero.  Caesar  started  on  his  legs  and 
faced  the  bull,  who  advanced  pawing,  with  his  tail  up 
in  the  air.  When  within  a  few  yards  the  bull  made  a 
rush  at  the  dog,  who  evaded  him  and  attacked  him  in 
return,  and  thus  did  the  warfare  continue  until  the 
opponents  were  already  at  some  distance  from  the  apple- 
tree.  Jack  prepared  for  immediate  flight,  but  unfortun- 
ately the  combat  was  carried  on  by  the  side  of  the  hedge 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  35 

at  which  Jack  had  gained  admission.  Never  mind, 
thought  Jack,  there  are  two  sides  to  every  field  and 
although  the  other  hedge  joined  on  to  the  garden  near 
to  the  farm-house,  there  was  no  option.  "  At  all  events," 
said  Jack,  "  I'll  try  it."  Jack  was  slipping  down  the 
trunk,  when  he  heard  a  tremendous  roar  j  the  bull-dog 
had  been  tossed  by  the  bull ;  he  was  then  high  in  the 
air,  and  Jack  saw  him  fall  on  the  other  side  of  the 
hedge ;  and  the  bull  was  thus  celebrating  his  victory 
with  a  flourish  of  trumpets.  Upon  which  Jack,  perceiv- 
ing that  he  was  relieved  from  his  sentry,  slipped  down 
the  rest  of  the  tree  and  took  to  his  heels.  Unfortunately 
for  Jack,  the  bull  saw  him,  and,  flushed  with  victory,  he 
immediately  set  up  another  roar,  and  bounded  after  Jack. 
Jack  perceived  his  danger,  and  fear  gave  him  wings ;  he 
not  only  flew  over  the  orchard,  but  he  flew  over  the 
hedge,  which  was  about  five  feet  high,  just  as  the  bull 
drove  his  head  into  it.  Look  before  you  leap,  is  an  old 
proverb.  Had  Jack  done  so,  he  would  have  done  better ; 
but  as  there  were  cogent  reasons  to  be  offered  in  ex- 
tenuation of  our  philosopher,  we  shall  say  no  more,  but 
merely  state  that  Jack,  when  he  got  to  the  other  side 
of  the  hedge,  found  that  he  had  pitched  into  a  small 
apiary,  and  had  upset  two  hives  of  bees  who  resented 
the  intrusion  j  and  Jack  had  hardly  time  to  get  upon 
his  legs  before  he  found  them  very  busy  stinging  him 
in  all  quarters.  All  that  Jack  could  do  was  to  run  for 
it,  but  the  bees  flew  faster  than  he  could  run,  and  Jack 
was  mad  with  pain,  when  he  stumbled,  half-blinded,  over 
the  brickwork  of  a  well.  Jack  could  not  stop  his  pitching 
into  the  well,  but  he  seized  the  iron  chain  as  it  struck 
him  across  the  face.  Down  went  Jack,  and  round  went 
the  windlass,  and  after  a  rapid  descent  of  forty  feet  our 
hero  found  himself  under  water,  and  no  longer  troubled 
with  the  bees,  who,  whether  they  had  lost  scent  of  their 
prey  from  his  rapid  descent,  or  being  notoriously  clever 
insects,  acknowledged  the  truth  of  the  adage,  "leave 
well    alone,"    had    certainly    left    Jack    with    no    other 


2,6  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

companion  than  Truth.  Jack  rose  from  his  immersion, 
and  seized  the  rope  to  which  the  chain  of  the  bucket 
was  made  fast — it  had  all  of  it  been  unwound  from  the 
windlass,  and  therefore  it  enabled  Jack  to  keep  his  head 
above  water.  After  a  few  seconds  Jack  felt  something 
against  his  legs,  it  was  the  bucket,  about  two  feet  under 
the  water ;  Jack  put  his  feet  into  it  and  found  himself 
pretty  comfortable,  for  the  water,  after  the  sting  of  the 
bees  and  the  heat  he  had  been  put  into  by  the  race  with 
the  bull,  was  quite  cool  and  refreshing. 

"  At  all  events,"  thought  Jack,  "if  it  had  not  been 
for  the  bull,  I  should  have  been  watched  by  the  dog, 
and  then  thrashed  by  the  farmer  ;  but  then  again,  if  it 
had  not  been  for  the  bull,  I  should  not  have  tumbled 
among  the  bees  ;  and  if  it  had  not  been  for  the  bees,  I 
should  not  have  tumbled  into  the  well ;  and  if  it  had 
not  been  for  the  chain,  I  should  have  been  drowned. 
Such  has  been  the  chain  of  events,  all  because  I  wanted 
to  eat  an  apple. 

"  However,  I  have  got  rid  of  the  farmer,  and  the  dog, 
and  the  bull,  and  the  bees — all's  well  that  ends  well; 
but  how  the  devil  am  I  to  get  out  of  the  well  ? — All 
creation  appear  to  have  conspired  against  the  rights  of 
man.  As  my  father  said,  this  is  an  iron  age,  and  here 
I  am  swinging  to  an  iron  chain." 

We  have  given  the  whole  of  Jack's  soliloquy,  as  it 
will  prove  that  Jack  was  no  fool,  although  he  was  a  bit 
of  a  philosopher  ;  and  a  man  who  could  reason  so  well 
upon  cause  and  effect,  at  the  bottom  of  a  well,  up  to  his 
neck  in  water,  showed  a  good  deal  of  presence  of  mind. 
But  if  Jack's  mind  had  been  a  little  twisted  by  his  father's 
philosophy,  it  had  still  sufficient  strength  and  elasticity 
to  recover  itself  in  due  time.  Had  Jack  been  a  common 
personage,  we  should  never  have  selected  him  for  our 
hero. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  ^y 


Chapter  VII 

In  which  Jack    makes  some    very   sage   reflections,  and  comes  to  a    very 
unwise  decision. 

After  all,  it  must  be  acknowledged  that  although  there 
are  cases  of  distress  in  which  a  well  may  become  a  place 
of  refuge,  a  well  is  not  at  all  calculated  for  a  prolonged 
residence — so  thought  Jack.  After  he  had  been  there 
some  fifteen  minutes,  his  teeth  chattered,  and  his  limbs 
trembled  ;  he  felt  a  numbness  all  over,  and  he  thought 
it  high  time  to  caJl  for  assistance,  which  at  first  he  would 
not,  as  he  was  afraid  he  should  be  pulled  up  to  encounter 
the  indignation  of  the  farmer  and  his  family.  Jack  was 
arranging  his  jaws  for  a  halloo,  when  he  felt  the  chain 
pulled  up,  and  he  slowly  emerged  from  the  water.  At 
first  he  heard  complaints  of  the  weight  of  the  bucket, 
at  which  Jack  was  not  surprised  ;  then  he  heard  a  tittering 
and  laughing  between  two  parties,  and  soon  afterwards 
he  mounted  up  gaily.  At  last  his  head  appeared  above 
the  low  wall,  and  he  was  about  to  extend  his  arms  so 
as  to  secure  a  position  on  it,  when  those  who  were 
working  at  the  windlass  beheld  him.  It  was  a  heavy 
farming  man  and  a  maid-servant. 

"  Thank  you,"  said  Jack. 

One  never  should  be  too  quick  in  returning  thanks  ;  the 
girl  screamed  and  let  go  the  winch,  the  man,  frightened, 
did  not  hold  it  fast ;  it  slipped  from  his  grasp,  whirled 
round,  struck  him  under  the  chin,  and  threw  him  over  it 
headlong,  and  before  the  "Thank  you"  was  fairly  out  of 
Jack's  lips,  down  he  went  again  like  lightning  to  the 
bottom.  Fortunately  for  Jack, "  he  had  not  yet  let  go 
the  chain,  or  he  might  have  struck  the  sides  and  have 
been  killed  ;  as  it  was,  he  was  merely  soused  a  second 
time,  and  in  a  minute  or  two  regained  his  former  position. 

*'  This  is  mighty  pleasant,"  thought  Jack,  as  he  clapped 


3$  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

his  wet  hat  once  more  on  his  head  ;  "at  all  events,  they 
can't  now  plead  ignorance,  they  must  know  that  Fm 
here." 

In  the  meantime  the  girl  ran  into  the  kitchen,  threw 
herself  down  on  a  stool,  from  which  she  reeled  off  in  a  fit 
upon  sundry  heaps  of  dough  waiting  to  be  baked  in  the 
oven,  which  were  laid  to  rise  on  the  floor  before  the  fire." 

"  Mercy  on  me,  what  is  the  matter  with  Susan  ?  "  ex- 
claimed the  farmer's  wife.  *'  Here — where's  Mary — 
where's  John — Deary  me,  if  the  bread  won't  all  be  turned 
to  pancakes." 

John  soon  followed,  holding  his  under-jaw  in  his  hand, 
looking  very  dismal  and  very  frightened,  for  two  reasons  ; 
one,  because  he  thought  that  his  jaw  was  broken,  and  the 
other,  because  he  thought  he  had  seen  the  devil. 

"  Mercy  on  us,  what  is  the  matter  ? "  exclaimed  the 
farmer's  wife  again.  "  Mary,  Mary,  Mary ! "  screamed 
she,  beginning  to  be  frightened  herself,  for  with  all  her 
efforts  she  could  not  remove  Susan  from  the  bed  of  dough, 
where  she  lay  senseless  and  heavy  as  lead.  Mary  answered 
to  her  mistress's  loud  appeal,  and  with  her  assistance  they 
raised  up  Susan  ;  but  as  for  the  bread,  there  was  no  hopes 
of  it  ever  rising  again.  "  Why  don't  you  come  here  and 
help  Susan,  John  ? "  cried  Mary. 

"  Aw-yaw-aw  !  "  was  all  the  reply  of  John,  who  had 
had  enough  quite  of  helping  Susan,  and  who  continued  to 
hold  his  head,  as  it  were,  in  his  hand. 

"  What's  the  matter  here,  missus  ? "  exclaimed  the 
farmer,  coming  in.  "  Highty-tighty,  what  ails  Susan  ?  and 
what  ails  you  ? "  continued  the  farmer,  turning  to  John. 
**  Dang  it,  but  everything  seems  to  go  wrong,  this  blessed 
day.  First,  there  be  all  the  apples  stolen — then  there  be 
all  the  hives  turned  topsy-turvy  in  the  garden — then  there 
be  Caesar  with  his  flank  opened  by  the  bull — then  there  be 
the  bull  broken  through  the  hedge  and  tumbled  into  the 
saw-pit — and  now  I  come  to  get  more  help  to  drag  him 
out,  I  find  one  woman  dead  like,  and  John  looks  as  if  he 
had  seen  the  devil." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  39 

"  Aw-yaw-aw !  "  replied  John,  nodding  his  head  very 
significantly. 

"  One  would  think  that  the  devil  had  broke  loose  to-day. 
What  is  it,  John  .'*  Have  you  seen  him,  and  has  Susan  seen 
him  ? " 

"  Aw-yaw." 

"  He's  stopped  your  jaw,  then,  at  all  events,  and  I 
thought  the  devil  himself  wouldn't  have  done  that — we 
shall  get  nothing  of  you.  Is  that  wench  coming  to  her 
senses  ? " 

"  Yes,  yes,  she's  better  now. — Susan,  what's  the 
matter  ? " 

"  Oh,  oh,  ma'am  !  the  well,  the  well " 

"  The  well !  Something  wrong  there,  I  suppose  :  well, 
I  will  go  and  see." 

The  farmer  trotted  ofF  to  the  well  j  he  perceived  the 
bucket  was  at  the  bottom  and  all  the  rope  out ;  he  looked 
about  him,  and  then  he  looked  into  the  well.  Jack,  who 
had  become  very  impatient,  had  been  looking  up  some  time 
for  the  assistance  which  he  expected  would  have  come 
sooner ;  the  round  face  of  the  farmer  occasioned  a  partial 
eclipse  of  the  round  disk  which  bounded  his  view,  just  as 
one  of  the  satelites  of  Jupiter  sometimes  obscures  the  face 
of  the  planet  round  which  he  revolves. 

"  Here  I  am,"  cried  Jack ;  "  get  me  up  quick,  or  I  shall 
be  dead ; "  and  what  Jack  said  was  true,  for  he  was  quite 
done  up  by  having  been  so  long  down,  although  his 
courage  had  not  failed  him. 

*'  Dang  it,  but  there  be  somebody  fallen  into  the  well," 
cried  the  farmer  ;  '*  no  end  to  mishaps  this  day.  "Well,  we 
must  get  a  Christian  out  of  a  well  afore  we  get  a  bull  out 
of  a  saw-pit,  so  I'll  go  and  call  the  men." 

In  a  very  short  time  the  men  who  were  assembled  round 
the  saw-pit  were  brought  to  the  well. 

*'  Down  below  there,  hold  on  now." 

"  Never  fear,"  cried  Jack. 

Away  went  the  winch,  and  once  more  Jack  had  an 
extended  horizon  to  survey.     As  soon  as  he  was  at  the 


40  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

top,  the  men  hauled  him  over  the  bricks  and  laid  him 
down  upon  the  ground,  for  Jack's  strength  had  failed  him. 

"  Dang  it,  if  it  bean't  that  chap  who  was  on  my  apple- 
tree,"  cried  the  farmer — "howsomever,  he  must  not  die 
for  stealing  a  few  apples ;  lift  him  up,  lads,  and  take  him 
in — he  is  dead  with  cold — no  wonder." 

The  farmer  led  the  way,  and  the  men  carried  Jack  into 
the  house,  when  the  farmer  gave  him  a  glass  of  brandy  ; 
this  restored  Jack's  circulation,  and  in  a  short  time  he  was 
all  right  again. 

After  some  previous  conversation,  in  which  Jack  narrated 
all  that  had  happened,  "What  may  be  your  name?"  in- 
quired the  farmer. 

"  My  name  is  Easy,"  replied  Jack. 

"  What !  be  you  the  son  of  Mr  Easy,  of  Forest  Hill  ?  '* 

"  Yes." 

"Dang  it,  he  be  my  landlord,  and  a  right  good  landlord 
too — why  didn't  you  say  so  when  you  were  up  in  the 
apple-tree  ?  You  might  have  picked  the  whole  orchard 
and  welcome." 

"  My  dear  sir,"  replied  Jack,  who  had  taken  a  second 
glass  of  brandy,  and  was  quite  talkative  again,  "  let  this 
be  a  warning  to  you,  and  when  a  man  proposes  to  argue 
the  point,  always,  in  future,  listen.  Had  you  waited,  I 
would  have  proved  to  you  most  incontestibly  that  you  had 
no  more  right  to  the  apples  than  I  had  ;  but  you  would 
not  listen  to  argument,  and  without  discussion  we  can 
never  arrive  at  truth.  You  send  for  your  dog,  who  is 
ripped  up  by  the  bull — the  bull  breaks  his  leg  in  a  saw-pit 
— the  bee-hives  are  overturned,  and  you  lose  all  your  honey 
— your  man  John  breaks  his  jaw — your  maid  Susan  spoils 
all  the  bread — and  why  ?  because  you  would  not  allow  me 
to  argue  the  point." 

"  Well,  Mr  Easy,  it  be  all  true  that  all  these  mishaps 
have  happened  because  I  would  not  allow  you  to  argue 
the  point,  perhaps,  although,  as  I  rent  the  orchard  from 
your  father,  I  cannot  imagine  how  you  could  prove  to  me 
that  the  apples  were  not  mine ;  but  now,  let's  take  your 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  41 

side  of  the  question,  and  I  don't  see  how  you  be  much 
better  off:  you  get  up  in  a  tree  for  a  few  apples,  with 
plenty  of  money  to  buy  them  if  you  like — you  are  kept 
there  by  a  dog — you  are  nearly  gored  by  a  bull — you  are 
stung  by  the  bees,  and  you  tumble  souse  into  a  well,  and 
are  nearly  killed  a  dozen  times,  and  all  for  a  few  apples 
not  worth  twopence." 

"All  very  true,  my  good  man,"  replied  Jack;  "but 
you  forget  that  I,  as  a  philosopher,  was  defending  the 
rights  of  man." 

"  Well,  I  never  knew  before  that  a  lad  who  stole  apples 
was  called  a  philosopher — we  calls  it  petty  larceny  in  the 
indictments  :  and  as  for  your  rights  of  man,  I  cannot  see 
how  they  can  be  defended  by  doing  what's  wrong." 

"  You  do  not  comprehend  the  matter,  farmer." 

"  No,  I  don't — and  I  be  too  old  to  learn,  Master  Easy. 
All  I  have  to  say  is  this,  you  are  welcome  to  all  the  apples 
in  the  orchard  if  you  please,  and  if  you  prefers,  as  it  seems 
you  do,  to  steal  them,  instead  of  asking  for  them,  which  I 
only  can  account  for  by  the  reason  that  they  say,  that 
*  stolen  fruit  be  sweetest,'  I've  only  to  say  that  I  shall  give 
orders  that  you  be  not  interfered  with.  My  chaise  be  at 
the  door.  Master  Easy,  and  the  man  will  drive  you  to  your 
father's — make  my  compliments  to  him,  and  say,  that  I'm 
very  sorry  that  you  tumbled  into  our  well." 

As  Jack  was  much  more  inclined  for  bed  than  argument, 
he  wished  the  farmer  good-night,  and  allowed  himself  to 
be  driven  home. 

The  pain  from  the  sting  of  the  bees,  now  that  his  cir- 
culation had  fully  returned,  was  so  great,  that  he  was  not 
sorry  to  find  Dr  Middleton  taking  his  tea  with  his  father 
and  mother.  Jack  merely  said  that  he  had  been  so  un- 
fortunate as  to  upset  a  hive,  and  had  been  severely  stung. 
He  deferred  the  whole  story  till  another  opportunity.  Dr 
Middleton  prescribed  for  Jack,  but  on  taking  his  hand 
found  that  he  was  in  a  high  fever,  which,  after  the  events 
of  the  day,  was  not  to  be  wondered  at.  Jack  was  bled, 
and  kept  his  bed  for  a  week,  by  which  time  he  was  re- 


4^  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

stored  -,    but,  during   that    time,  Jack  had   been   thinking 
very  seriously,  and  had  made  up  his  mind. 

But  we  must  explain  a  circumstance  which  had  occurred, 
which  was  probably  the  cause  of  Jack's  decision.  When 
Jack  returned  on  the  evening  in  question,  he  found  seated 
with  his  father  and  Dr  Middleton  a  Captain  Wilson,  a  sort 
of  cousin  to  the  family,  who  but  occasionally  paid  them  a 
visit,  for  he  lived  at  some  distance ;  and  having  a  wife  and 
large  family,  with  nothing  but  his  half-pay  for  their  support, 
he  could  not  afford  to  expend  even  shoe-leather  in  compli- 
ments. The  object  of  this  visit  on  the  part  of  Captain 
Wilson  was  to  request  the  aid  of  Mr  Easy.  He  had 
succeeded  in  obtaining  his  appointment  to  a  sloop  of  war 
(for  he  was  in  the  king's  service),  but  was  without  the 
means  of  fitting  himself  out,  without  leaving  his  wife  and 
family  penniless.  He  therefore  came  to  request  Mr  Easy 
to  lend  him  a  few  hundred  pounds,  until  he  should  be  able, 
by  his  prize-money,  to  repay  them.  Mr  Easy  was  not  a 
man  to  refuse  such  a  request,  and  always  having  plenty  of 
spare  cash  at  his  banker's,  he  drew  a  cheque  for  a  thousand 
pounds,  which  he  gave  to  Captain  Wilson,  requesting  that 
he  would  only  repay  it  at  his  convenience.  Captain 
Wilson  wrote  an  acknowledgment  of  the  debt,  promising 
to  pay  upon  his  first  prize-money,  which  receipt,  however 
binding  it  may  be  to  a  man  of  honour,  was,  in  point  of  law, 
about  as  valuable  as  if  he  had  agreed  to  pay  as  soon  "  as  the 
cows  came  home."  The  affair  had  been  just  concluded,  and 
Captain  Wilson  had  returned  into  the  parlour  with  Mr 
Easy,  when  Jack  returned  from  his  expedition. 

Jack  greeted  Captain  Wilson,  whom  he  had  long  known  ; 
but,  as  we  before  observed,  he  suffered  so  much  pain,  that 
he  soon  retired  with  Dr  Middleton,  and  went  to  bed. 

During  a  week  there  is  room  for  much  reflection,  even 
in  a  lad  of  fourteen,  although  at  that  age  we  are  not  much 
inclined  to  think.  But  Jack  was  in  bed ;  his  eyes  were  so 
swollen  with  the  stings  of  the  bees  that  he  could  neither 
read  nor  otherwise  amuse  himself;  and  he  preferred  his 
own  thoughts  to  the  gabble  of  Sarah,  who  attended  him  ; 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  43 

so  Jack  thought,  and  the  result  of  his  cogitations  we  shall 
soon  bring  forward. 

It  was  on  the  eighth  day  that  Jack  left  his  bed  and  came 
down  into  the  drawing-room.  He  then  detailed  to  his 
father  the  adventures  which  had  taken  place,  which  had 
obliged  him  to  take  to  his  bed. 

"  You  see,  Jack,"  replied  his  father,  "  it's  just  what  I 
told  you  :  the  world  is  so  utterly  demoralised  by  what  is 
called  social  compact,  and  the  phalanx  supporting  it,  by 
contributing  a  portion  of  their  unjust  possessions  for  the 
security  of  the  remainder,  is  so  powerful,  that  any  one  who 
opposes  it  must  expect  to  pass  the  life  of  a  martyr ;  but 
martyrs  are  always  required  previous  to  any  truth,  however 
sublime,  being  received,  and,  like  Abraham,  whom  I  have 
always  considered  as  a  great  philosopher,  I  am  willing  to 
sacrifice  my  only  son  in  so  noble  a  cause." 

"  That's  all  very  good  on  your  part,  father,  but  we  must 
argue  the  point  a  little.  If  you  are  as  great  a  philosopher 
as  Abraham,  I  am  not  quite  so  dutiful  a  son  as  Isaac,  whose 
blind  obedience,  in  my  opinion,  is  very  contrary  to  your 
rights  of  man :  but  the  fact,  in  few  words,  is  simply  this. 
In  promulgating  your  philosophy,  in  the  short  space  of 
two  days,  I  have  been  robbed  of  the  fish  I  caught,  and  my 
rod  and  line — I  have  been  soused  into  a  fish-pond — I  have 
been  frightened  out  of  my  wits  by  a  bull-dog — been  nearly 
killed  by  a  bull — been  stung  to  death  by  bees,  and  twice 
tumbled  into  a  well.  Now,  if  all  that  happens  in  two 
days,  what  must  I  expect  to  suffer  in  a  whole  year  ?  It 
appears  to  be  very  unwise  to  attempt  making  further 
converts,  for  people  on  shore  seem  determined  not  to  listen 
to  reason  or  argument.  But  it  has  occurred  to  me,  that 
although  the  whole  earth  has  been  so  nefariously  divided 
among  the  few,  that  the  waters  at  least  are  the  property  of 
all.  No  man  claims  his  share  of  the  sea — every  one  may 
there  plough  as  he  pleases,  without  being  taken  up  for  a 
trespasser.  Even  war  makes  no  difference  ;  every  one  may 
go  on  as  he  pleases,  and  if  they  meet,  it  is  nothing  but 
a  neutral  ground  on  which  the  parties  contend.    It  is,  then. 


44  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

only  upon  the  ocean  that  I  am  likely  to  find  that  equality 
and  rights  of  man,  which  we  are  so  anxious  to  establish  on 
shore  ;  and  therefore  I  have  resolved  not  to  go  to  school 
again,  which  I  detest,  but  to  go  to  sea,  and  propagate  our 
opinions  as  much  as  I  can." 

"  I  cannot  listen  to  that.  Jack.  In  the  first  place,  you 
must  return  to  school ;  in  the  next  place,  you  shall  not  go 
to  sea." 

*'  Then,  father,  all  I  have  to  say  is,  that  I  swear  by  the 
rights  of  man  I  will  not  go  back  to  school,  and  that  I  will 
go  to  sea.  "Who  and  what  is  to  prevent  me  ?  "Was  not  I 
born  my  own  master  ? — has  any  one  a  right  to  dictate  to 
me  as  if  I  were  not  his  equal  ?  Have  I  not  as  much  right 
to  my  share  of  the  sea  as  any  other  mortal  ?  I  stand  upon 
perfect  equality,"  continued  Jack,  stamping  his  right  foot 
on  the  floor. 

What  had  Mr  Easy  to  offer  in  reply  ?  He  must  either, 
as  a  philosopher,  have  sacrificed  his  hypothesis,  or,  as  a 
father,  have  sacrificed  his  son.  Like  aD  philosophers,  he 
preferred  what  he  considered  as  the  less  important  of  the 
two,  he  sacrificed  his  son  -,  but — we  will  do  him  justice — 
he  did  it  with  a  sigh, 

"  Jack,  you  shall,  if  you  wish  it,  go  to  sea." 

"  That,  of  course,"  replied  Jack,  with  the  air  of  a 
conqueror  -,  "  but  the  question  is,  with  whom  .''  Now  it 
has  occurred  to  me,  that  Capatin  Wilson  has  just  been 
appointed  to  a  ship,  and  I  should  like  to  sail  with  him." 

"  I  will  write  to  him,"  said  Mr  Easy,  mournfully,  "  but 
I  should  have  liked  to  have  felt  his  head  first  j "  and  thus 
was  the  matter  arranged. 

The  answer  from  Captain  Wilson  was,  of  course,  in  the 
affirmative,  and  he  promised  that  he  would  treat  Jack  as 
his  own  son. 

Our  hero  mounted  his  father's  horse,  and  rode  off  to 
ISIr  Bonnycastle. 

"  I  am  going  to  sea,  Mr  Bonnycastle." 

"  The  very  best  thing  for  you,"  replied  Mr  Bonnycastle. 

Our  hero  met  Dr  Middleton. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  45 

"  I  am  going  to  sea,  Dr  Middleton." 

"  The  very  best  thing  for  you,"  replied  the  Doctor. 

"  I  am  going  to  sea,  mother,"  said  John. 

"To  sea,  John,  to  sea?  no,  no,  dear  John,  you  are  not 
going  to  sea,"  replied  Mrs  Easy,  with  horror. 

"  Yes,  I  am ;  father  has  agreed,  and  says  he  will  obtain 
your  consent." 

"My  consent!  Oh,  my  dear,  dear  boy!" — and  Mrs 
Easy  wept  bitterly,  as  Rachel  mourning  for  her  children. 


Chapter  VIII 

In  which  Mr  Easy  has  his  first  lesson  as  to  zeal  in  his  Majesty's  service. 

As  there  was  no  time  to  lose,  onr  hero  very  soon  bade 

adieu  to  his  paternal  roof,  as  the  phrase  is,  and  found  his 
wav  down  to  Portsmouth.  As  Jack  had  plenty  of  money, 
and  was  very  much  pleased  at  finding  himself  his  ovm 
master,  he  was  in  no  hurry  to  join  his  ship,  and  five  or  six 
companions,  not  very  creditable,  whom  either  Jack  had 
picked  up,  or  had  picked  up  Jack,  and  who  lived  upon 
him,  strongly  advised  him  to  put  it  off  until  the  very  last 
moment.  As  this  advice  happened  to  coincide  with  Jack's 
opinion,  our  hero  was  three  weeks  at  Portsmouth  before 
any  one  knew  of  his  arrival,  but  at  last  Captain  Wilson 
received  a  letter  from  'Mr  Easy,  by  which  he  found  that 
Jack  had  left  home  at  the  period  we  have  mentioned,  and 
he  desired  the  first  lieutenant  to  make  inquiries,  as  he  was 
afraid  that  some  accident  might  have  happened  to  hjm. 
As  Mr  Sawbridge,  the  first  lieutenant,  happened  to  be 
going  on  shore  on  the  same  evening  for  the  last  time 
previous  to  the  ship's  sailing,  he  looked  into  the  Blue 
Posts,  George,  and  Fountain  Inns,  to  inquire  if  there  was 
such  a  person  arrived  as  Mr  Easy.  "  O  yes,"  replied  the 
waiter  at  the  Fountain, — "  Mr  Easy  has  been  here  these 
three  weeks." 

"  The  devil  he  has,"  roared  Mr  Sawbridge,  with  all  the 


46  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

indignation  of  a  first  lieutenant  defrauded  three  weeks  of 
a  midshipman  ;  * '  where  is  he  ;  in  the  coffee-room  ? " 

"  Oh  dear  no,  sir,"  replied  the  waiter,  "  Mr  Easy  has 
the  front  apartments  on  the  first  floor." 

"Well,  then,  show  me  up  to  the  first  floor." 

"  May  I  request  the  pleasure  of  your  name,  sir  ? "  said 
the  waiter. 

"  First  lieutenants  don't  send  up  their  names  to  midship- 
men," replied  Mr  Sawbridge  ;  "  he  shall  soon  know  who  I 
am. 

At  this  reply,  the  waiter  walked  upstairs,  followed  by 
Mr  Sawbridge,  and  threw  open  the  door. 

"  A  gentleman  wishes  to  see  you,  sir,"  said  the  waiter. 

"  Desire  him  to  walk  in,"  said  Jack :  *'  and,  waiter,  mind 
that  the  punch  is  a  little  better  than  it  was  yesterday  j  I 
have  asked  two  more  gentlemen  to  dine  here." 

In  the  meantime,  Mr  Sawbridge,  who  was  not  in  his 
uniform,  had  entered,  and  perceived  Jack  alone,  with  the 
dinner  table  laid  out  in  the  best  style  for  eight,  a  consider- 
able show  of  plate  for  even  the  Fountain  Inn,  and  every- 
thing, as  well  as  the  apartment  itself,  according  to  Mr 
Sawbridge's  opinion,  much  more  fit  for  a  commander-in- 
chief  than  a  midshipman  of  a  sloop  of  war. 

Now  Mr  Sawbridge  was  a  good  officer,  one  who  had 
really  worked  his  way  up  to  the  present  rank,  that  is  to 
say,  that  he  had  served  seven-and-twenty  years,  and  had 
nothing  but  his  pay.  He  was  a  little  soured  in  the  service, 
and  certainly  had  an  aversion  to  the  young  men  of  family 
who  were  now  fast  crowding  into  it — and  with  some 
grounds,  as  he  perceived  his  own  chance  of  promotion 
decrease  in  the  same  ratio  as  the  numbers  increased.  He 
considered  that  in  proportion  as  midshipmen  assumed  a 
cleaner  and  more  gentlemanly  appearance,  so  did  they 
become  more  useless,  and  it  may  therefore  be  easily 
imagined  that  his  bile  was  raised  by  this  parade  and 
display  in  a  lad,  who  was  very  shortly  to  be,  and  ought 
three  weeks  before  to  have  been,  shrinking  from  his 
frown.    Nevertheless,  Sawbridge  was  a  good-hearted  man, 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  47 

although  a  little  envious  of  luxury,  which  he  could  not 
pretend  to  indulge  in  himself. 

"May  I  beg  to  ask,"  said  Jack,  who  was  always  remark- 
ably polite  and  gentlemanly  in  his  address,  "in  what 
manner  I  may  be  of  service  to  you  ?  " 

"  Yes,  sir,  you  may — by  joining  your  ship  immediately. 
And  may  I  beg  to  ask  in  return,  sir,  what  is  the  reason 
you  have  stayed  on  shore  three  weeks  without  joining  her  ? " 

Hereupon  Jack,  who  did  not  much  admire  the  per- 
emptory tone  of  Mr  Sawbridge,  and  who  during  the 
ansv/er  had  taken  a  seat,  crossed  his  legs,  and  played  with 
the  gold  chain  to  which  his  watch  was  secured,  after  a 
pause  very  coolly  replied — 

"  And  pray,  who  are  you  ?  " 

"  Who  am  I,  sir  ? "  replied  Sawbridge,  jumping  out  of 
his  chair — "my  name  is  Sawbridge,  sir,  and  I  am  the  first 
lieutenant  of  the  Harpy.    Now,  sir,  you  have  your  answer." 

Mr  Sawbridge,  who  imagined  that  the  name  of  the  first 
lieutenant  would  strike  terror  to  a  culprit  midshipman, 
threw  himself  back  in  the  chair,  and  assumed  an  air  of 
importance. 

"  Really,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  "  what  may  be  your  exact 
situation  on  board,  my  ignorance  of  the  service  will  not 
allow  me  to  guess,  but  if  I  may  judge  from  your  behaviour, 
you  have  no  small  opinion  of  yourself." 

"  Look  ye,  young  man,  you  may  not  know  what  a  first 
lieutenant  is,  and  I  take  it  for  granted  that  you  do  not,  by 
your  behaviour  5  but  depend  upon  it,  I'll  let  you  know 
very  soon.  In  the  meantime,  sir,  I  insist  upon  it,  that  you 
go  immediately  on  board." 

"I'm  sorry  that  I  cannot  comply  with  your  very  moderate 
request,"  replied  Jack,  coolly.  "I  shall  go  on  board  when 
it  suits  my  convenience,  and  I  beg  that  you  will  give  your- 
self no  further  trouble  on  my  account." 

Jack  then  rang  the  bell ;  the  waiter,  who  had  been 
listening  outside,  immediately  entered,  and  before  Mr 
Sawbridge,  who  was  dumb  with  astonishment  at  Jack's 
impertinence,  could  have  time  to  reply — 


48  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"Waiter,"  said  Jack,  "show  this  gentleman  downstairs." 

"By  the  god  of  war!"  exclaimed  the  first  lieutenant, 
"  but  I'll  soon  show  you  down  to  the  boat,  my  young 
bantam  •,  and  when  once  I  get  you  safe  on  board,  I'll  make 
you  know  the  difference  between  a  midshipman  and  a  first 
lieutenant." 

"I  can  only  admit  of  equality,  sir,"  replied  Jack;  "we 
are  all  born  equal — I  trust  you'll  allow  that." 

"  Equality — damn  it,  I  suppose  you'll  take  the  command 
of  the  ship.  However,  sir,  your  ignorance  will  be  a  little 
enlightened  by-and-bye.  I  shall  now  go  and  report  your 
conduct  to  Captain  Wilson ;  and  I  tell  you  plainly,  that  if 
you  are  not  on  board  this  evening,  to-morrow  morning,  at 
daylight,  I  shall  send  a  sergeant  and  a  file  of  marines  to 
fetch  you." 

"  You  may  depend  upon  it,  sir,"  rephed  Jack,  "  that  I 
also  shall  not  fail  to  mention  to  Captain  Wilson,  that  I 
consider  you  a  very  quarrelsome,  impertinent  fellow,  and 
recommend  him  not  to  allow  you  to  remain  on  board.  It 
will  be  quite  uncomfortable  to  be  in  the  same  ship  with 
such  an  ungentlemanly  bear." 

"  He  must  be  mad — quite  mad,"  exclaimed  Sawbridge, 
whose  astonishment  even  mastered  his  indignation.  "Mad 
as  a  march  hare — by  God." 

"No,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  "I  am  not  mad,  but  I  am  a 
philosopher." 

"A  luhat  ?"  exclaimed  Sawbridge,  "damme,  what  next.? 
— well,  my  joker,  all  the  better  for  you,  I  shall  put  your 
philosophy  to  the  proof." 

"It  is  for  that  very  reason,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  "that  I 
have  decided  upon  going  to  sea ;  and  if  you  do  remain  on 
board,  I  hope  to  argue  the  point  with  you,  and  make  you 
a  convert  to  the  truth  of  equality  and  the  rights  of  man." 

"  By  the  Lord  that  made  us  both,  I'll  soon  make  you  a 
convert  to  the  thirty-six  articles  of  war — that  is,  if  you 
remain  on  board ;  but  I  shall  now  go  to  the  captain,  and 
report  your  conduct,  sir,  and  leave  you  to  your  dinner 
with  what  appetite  you  may." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  49 

**  Sir,  I  am  infinitely  obliged  to  you  ;  but  you  need  not 
be  afraid  of  my  appetite ;  I  am  only  sorry,  as  you  happen 
to  belong  to  the  same  ship,  that  I  cannot,  in  justice  to  the 
gentlemanly  young  men  whom  I  expect,  ask  you  to  join 
them.     I  wish  you  a  very  good  morning,  sir." 

"  Twenty    years    have  I  been    in    the    service,"  roared 

Sawbridge,  "  and   damme but    he's    mad — downright, 

stark,  staring  mad,"  and  the  first  lieutenant  bounced  out  of 
the  room. 

Jack  was  a  little  astonished  himself.  Had  Mr  Sawbridge 
made  his  appearance  in  uniform  it  might  have  been  different, 
but  that  a  plain-looking  man,  with  black  whiskers,  shaggy 
hair,  and  old  blue  frock  coat  and  yellow  cassimere  waist- 
coat, should  venture  to  address  him  in  such  a  manner,  was 
quite  incomprehensible ; — he  calls  me  mad,  thought  Jack, 
I  shall  tell  Captain  "Wilson  what  is  my  opinion  about  his 
lieutenant.  Shortly  afterwards  the  company  arrived,  and 
Jack  soon  forgot  all  about  it. 

In  the  meantime  Sawbridge  called  at  the  captain's 
lodgings,  and  found  him  at  home.  He  made  a  very 
faithful  report  of  all  that  had  happened,  and  concluded  his 
report  by  demanding,  in  great  wrath,  either  an  instant 
dismissal  or  a  court-martial  on  our  hero.  Jack. 

''Stop,  Sawbridge,"  replied  Captain  Wilson,  "take  a 
chair :  as  Mr  Easy  says,  we  must  argue  the  point,  and  then 
I  will  leave  it  to  your  better  feelings.  As  for  the  court- 
martial,  it  will  not  hold  good,  for  Mr  Easy,  in  the  first 
place,  has  not  yet  joined  the  ship,  and  in  the  next  place, 
could  not  be  supposed  to  know  that  you  were  the  first 
lieutenant,  or  even  an  officer,  for  you  went  to  him  out  of 
uniform." 

"  Very  true,  sir,"  replied  Sawbridge,  "  I  had  forgotten 
that." 

"  Then,  as  for  his  dismissal,  or  rather,  not  allowing  him 
to  join,  Mr  Easy  has  been  brought  up  in  the  country,  and 
has  never  seen  anything  aquatic  larger  than  a  fish-pond, 
perhaps,  in  his  life  5  and  as  for  the  service,  or  the  nature 
of  it,  I  believe  he  is  as  ignorant  of  it  as  a  child  not  a  year 

E  D 


50  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

old — I  doubt  whether  he  knows  the  rank  of  a  lieutenant  j 
certainly,  he  can  have  no  idea  of  the  power  of  a  first 
lieutenant,  by  his  treatment  of  you." 

"  I  should  think  not,"  replied  Sawbridge,  drily. 
"  I  do  not  think,  therefore,  that    conduct  which  must 
have  proceeded  from  sheer  ignorance  should  be  so  severely 
punished — I  appeal  to  you,  Sawbridge." 

**  Weil,  sir,  perhaps  you  are  right — but  still  he  told  me 
he  was  a  philosopher,  and  talked  about  equality  and  rights 
of  man.  Told  me  that  he  could  only  admit  of  equality 
between  us,  and  begged  to  argue  the  point.  Now,  sir,  if 
a  midshipman  is  to  argue  the  point  every  time  that  an 
order  is  given,  the  service  will  come  to  a  pretty  pass." 

**  That  is  all  very  true,  Sawbridge ;  and  now  you 
remind  me  of  what  never  occurred  to  me  at  the  time  that 
I  promised  to  take  Mr  Easy  in  the  ship.  I  now  recollect 
that  his  father,  who  is  a  distant  relation  of  mine,  has  some 
very  wild  notions  in  his  head,  just  like  what  have  been 
repeated  by  his  son  on  your  interview  with  him.  I  have 
occasionally  dined  there,  and  Mr  Easy  has  always  been 
upholding  the  principles  of  natural  equaUty  and  of  the 
rights  of  man,  much  to  the  amusement  of  his  guests,  and  I 
confess,  at  the  time,  of  mine  also.  I  recollect  telling  him 
that  I  trusted  he  would  never  be  able  to  disseminate  his 
opinions  in  the  service  to  which  I  belonged,  as  we  should 
have  an  end  of  all  discipline.  I  little  thought,  at  the  time, 
that  his  only  son,  who  has  no  more  occasion  to  go  to  sea 
than  the  Archbishop  of  Canterbury,  for  his  father  has  a 
very  handsome  property — I  believe  seven  or  eight  thousand 
a  year — would  ever  have  sailed  with  me,  and  have  brought 
these  opinions  with  him  Into  any  ship  that  I  commanded. 

It  is  a  pity,  a  great  pity " 

"  He  never  could  have  brought  his  pigs  to  a  worse 
market,"  observed  Sawbridge. 

"  I  agree  with  you,  and,  as  a  father  myself,  I  cannot  but 
help  feeling  how  careful  we  should  be,  how  we  inculcate 
anything  like  abstract  and  philosophical  ideas  to  youth. 
Allowing  them  to  be  in  themselves  correct,  still  they  are 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  51 

dangerous  as  sharp  instruments  are  in  the  hands  of  a  child  ; 
- — allowing  them  to  be  erroneous,  they  are  seized  upon 
with  an  avidity  by  young  and  ardent  minds,  and  are  not 
to  be  eradicated  without  the  greatest  difficulty,  and  very 
often  not  until  they  have  accomplished  their  ruin." 

"  Then  you  think,  sir,  that  these  ideas  have  taken  deep 
root  in  this  young  man,  and  we  shall  not  easily  rid  him  of 
them?" 

"  I  do  not  say  so ;  but  still,  recollect  they  have  been 
instilled,  perhaps,  from  the  earliest  period,  by  one  from 
w^hom  they  must  have  been  received  with  all  confidence — 
from  a  father  to  a  son  j  and  that  son  has  never  yet  been 
sufficiently  in  the  world  to  have  proved  their  fallacy." 

**  Well,  sir,"  replied  Sawbridge,  "  if  I  may  venture  to 
offer  an  opinion  on  the  subject — and  in  so  doing  I  assure 
you  that  I  only  shall  from  a  feeling  for  the  service — if,  as 
you  say,  these  opinions  will  not  easily  be  eradicated,  as  the 
young  man  is  independent,  would  it  not  be  both  better  for 
himself,  as  well  as  for  the  service,  that  he  is  sent  home 
again .''  As  an  officer  he  will  never  do  any  good  for  him- 
self, and  he  may  do  much  harm  to  others.  I  submit  this 
to  you,  Captain  Wilson,  with  all  respect  j  but  as  your  first 
lieutenant,  I  feel  very  jealous  at  any  chance  of  the  discipline 
of  the  ship  being  interfered  with  by  the  introduction  of 
this  young  man,  to  whom  it  appears  that  a  profession  is  no 
object." 

"  My  dear  Sawbridge,"  replied  Captain  Wilson,  after 
taking  one  or  two  turns  up  and  down  the  room,  "  we 
entered  the  service  together,  we  were  messmates  for 
many  years,  and  you  must  be  aware  that  it  is  not  only 
long  friendship,  but  an  intimate  knowledge  of  your 
unrewarded  merit,  which  has  induced  me  to  request 
you  to  come  with  me  as  my  first  lieutenant.  Now,  I 
will  put  a  case  to  you,  and  you  shall  then  decide  the 
question — and  moreover,  I  will  abide  by  your  decision. 

"Suppose  that  you  were  a  commander  like  myself, 
with  a  wife  and  seven  children,  and  that,  struggling  for 
many  years  to  support  them,  you   found  yourself,   not- 


52  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

withstanding  the  utmost  parsimony,  gradually  running 
into  debt.  That,  after  many  long  applications,  you  had 
at  last  succeeded  in  obtaining  employment  by  an  appoint- 
ment to  a  fine  sloop,  and  there  was  every  prospect,  by 
prize-money  and  increased  pay,  of  recovering  yourself 
from  your  difficulties,  if  not  realising  a  sufficient  provision 
for  your  family.  Then  suppose  that  all  this  prospect 
and  all  these  hopes  were  likely  to  be  dashed  to  the 
ground  by  the  fact  of  having  no  means  of  fitting  yourself 
out,  no  credit,  no  means  of  paying  debts  you  have 
contracted,  for  which  you  would  have  been  arrested, 
or  anything  sufficient  to  leave  for  the  support  of  your 
family  during  your  absence,  your  agent  only  consenting 
to  advance  one-half  of  what  you  require.  Now,  suppose, 
in  this  awkward  dilemma,  without  anyone  in  this  world 
upon  whom  you  have  any  legitimate  claim,  as  a  last 
resource  you  were  to  apply  to  one  with  whom  you  have 
but  a  distant  connection,  and  but  an  occasional  acquaint- 
ance— and  that  when  you  had  made  your  request  for  the 
loan  of  two  or  three  hundred  pounds,  fully  anticipating 
a  refusal  (from  the  feeling  that  he  who  goes  a-borrowing 
goes  a-sorrowing), — I  say,  suppose,  to  your  astonishment, 
that  this  generous  person  was  to  present  you  with  a 
cheque  on  his  banker  for  one  thousand  pounds,  demanding 
no  interest,  no  legal  security,  and  requests  you  only  to 
pay  it  at  your  convenience, — I  ask  you,  Sawbridge,  what 
would  be  your  feelings  towards  such  a  man  ? " 

*'  I  would  die  for  him,"  replied  Sawbridge,  with  emotion. 

"  And  suppose  that,  by  the  merest  chance,  or  from 
a  whim  of  the  moment,  the  son  of  that  man  was  to  be 
placed  under  your  protection  ? " 

"I  would  be  a  father  to  him,"  replied  Sawbridge. 

•*  But  we  must  proceed  a  little  further :  suppose  that 
you  were  to  find  the  lad  was  not  all  that  you  could  wish, — 
that  he  had  imbibed  erroneous  doctrines,  which  would 
probably,  if  not  eradicated,  be  attended  with  consequences 
fatal  to  his  welfare  and  happiness,  would  you  therefore, 
on   that   account,    withdraw    your   protection,    and   leave 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  ^;^ 

him  to  the  mercy  of  others,  who  had  no  claims  of  gratitude 
to  sway  them  in  his  favour  ?  " 

"  Most  certainly  not,  sir,"  replied  Sawbridge ;  **  on 
the  contrary,  I  would  never  part  with  the  son  until, 
by  precept  or  otherwise,  I  had  set  him  right  again,  and 
thus  had,  as  far  as  it  was  possible,  paid  the  debt  of 
gratitude  due  to  the  generous  father." 

"  I  hardly  need  say  to  you,  Sawbridge,  after  what  has 
passed,  that  this  lad  you  have  just  come  from,  is  the  son, 
and  that  Mr  Easy  of  Forest  Hill  is  the  father." 

*'  Then,  sir,  I  can  only  say,  that  not  only  to  please  you, 
but  also  from  respect  to  a  man  who  has  shown  such 
goodwill  towards  one  of  our  cloth,  I  shall  most  cheerfully 
forgive  all  that  has  passed  between  the  lad  and  me,  and 
all  that  may  probably  take  place  before  we  make  him 
what  he  ought  to  be." 

"  Thank  you,  Sawbridge ;  I  expected  as  much,  and  am 
not  disappointed  in  my  opinion  of  you." 

"  And  now.  Captain  Wilson,  pray  what  is  to  be  done  ?' 

"We  must  get  him  on  board,  but  not  with  a  file  of 
marines, — that  will  do  more  harm  than  good.  I  will  send 
a  note,  requesting  him  to  breakfast  with  me  to-morrow 
morning,  and  have  a  little  conversation  with  him.  I  do 
not  v/ish  to  frighten  him ;  he  would  not  scruple  to  run 
back  to  Forest  Hill — now  I  wish  to  keep  him  if  I  possibly 
can." 

*'  You  are  right,  sir ;  his  father  appears  his  greatest 
enemy.  What  a  pity  that  a  man  with  so  good  a  heart 
should  be  so  weak  in  the  head  !  Then,  sir,  I  shall  take 
no  notice  of  this  at  present,  but  leave  the  whole  affair 
in  your  hands." 

"  Do,  Sawbridge ;  you  have  obliged  me  very  much 
by  your  kindness  in  this  business." 

Mr  Sawbridge  then  took  his  leave,  and  Captain  Wilson 
despatched  a  note  to  our  hero,  requesting  the  pleasure 
of  his  company  to  breakfast  at  nine  o'clock  the  ensuing 
morning.  The  answer  was  in  the  affirmative,  but  verbal, 
for  Jack  had  drunk  too  much  champagne  to  trust  his  pen 
to  paper. 


54  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

Chapter  IX 

In  which  Mr  Easy  finds  himself  on  the  other  side  of  the  Bay  of  Biscay. 

The  next  morning  Jack  Easy  would  have  forgotten  all 
about  his  engagement  with  the  captain,  had  it  not  been 
for  the  waiter,  who  thought  that,  after  the  reception 
which  our  hero  had  given  the  first  lieutenant,  it  would 
be  just  as  well  that  he  should  not  be  disrespectful  to  the 
captain.  Now  Jack  had  not,  hitherto,  put  on  his  uniform, 
and  he  thought  this  a  fitting  occasion,  particularly  as  the 
waiter  suggested  the  propriety  of  his  appearance  in  it. 
"Whether  it  was  from  a  presentiment  of  what  he  was  to 
suffer.  Jack  was  not  at  all  pleased,  as  most  lads  are,  with 
the  change  in  his  dress.  It  appeared  to  him  that  he  was 
sacrificing  his  independence ;  however,  he  did  not  follow 
his  first  impulse,  which  was  to  take  it  off  again,  but  took 
his  hat,  which  the  waiter  had  brushed  and  handed  to 
him,  and  then  set  off  for  the  captain's  lodgings.  Captain 
Wilson  received  him  as  if  he  had  not  been  aware  of  his 
delay  in  joining  his  ship,  or  his  interview  with  his  first 
lieutenant,  but  before  breakfast  was  over,  Jack  himself 
narrated  the  affair  in  a  few  words.  Captain  Wilson  then 
entered  into  a  detail  of  the  duties  and  rank  of  every  person 
on  board  of  the  ship,  pointing  out  to  Jack,  that  where 
discipline  was  required,  it  was  impossible,  when  duty 
was  carried  on,  that  more  than  one  could  command ;  and 
that  that  one  was  the  captain,  who  represented  the  king 
in  person,  who  represented  the  country ;  and  that,  as  the 
orders  were  transmitted  from  the  captain  through  the 
lieutenant,  and  from  the  lieutenant  to  the  midshipmen, 
who,  in  their  turn,  communicated  them  to  the  whole  ship's 
company,  in  fact,  it  was  the  captain  alone  who  gave  the 
orders,  and  that  everyone  was  equally  obliged  to  obey. 
Indeed,  as  the  captain  himself  had  to  obey  the  orders  of 
his  superiors,  the  admiral  and  the  admiralty ;  all  on  board 
might  be   said    to   be   equally  obliged    to   obey.     Captain 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  55 

Wilson  laid  a  strong  emphasis  on  the  word  equally,  as  he 
cautiously  administered  his  first  dose ;  indeed,  in  the 
whole  of  his  address,  he  made  use  of  special  pleading, 
which  would  have  done  credit  to  the  bar ;  for  at  the 
same  time  that  he  was  explaining  to  Jack  that  he  was 
entering  a  service  in  which  equality  could  never  for  a 
moment  exist,  if  the  service  was  to  exist,  he  contrived 
to  show  that  all  the  grades  were  levelled,  by  all  being 
equally  bound  to  do  their  duty  to  their  country,  and 
that,  in  fact,  whether  a  seaman  obeyed  his  orders,  or 
he  obeyed  the  orders  of  his  superior  officer,  they  were 
in  reality  only  obeying  the  orders  of  the  country,  which 
were  administered  through  their  channels. 

Jack  did  not  altogether  dislike  this  view  of  the  subject, 
and  the  captain  took  care  not  to  dwell  too  long  upon  it. 
He  then  entered  upon  other  details,  which  he  was  aware 
would  be  more  agreeable  to  Jack.  He  pointed  out  that 
the  articles  of  war  were  the  rules  by  which  the  service 
was  to  be  guided,  and  that  everybody,  from  the  captain 
to  the  least  boy  in  the  ship,  was  equally  bound  to  adhere 
to  them — that  a  certain  allowance  of  provisions  and  wine 
were  allowed  to  each  person  on  board,  and  that  this 
allowance  was  the  same  to  all ;  the  same  to  the  captain 
as  to  the  boy ;  the  same  in  quantity  as  in  quality ;  every-  • 
one  equally  entitled  to  his  allowance ; — that,  although 
there  were,  of  necessity,  various  grades  necessary  in  the 
service,  and  the  captain's  orders  were  obliged  to  be  passed 
and  obeyed  by  all,  yet  still,  whatever  was  the  grade  of 
the  officer,  they  were  equally  considered  as  gentlemen. 
In  short,  Captain  Wilson,  who  told  the  truth,  and  nothing 
but  the  truth,  without  telling  the  whole  truth,  actually 
made  Jack  fancy  that  he  had  at  last  found  out  that  equality 
he  had  been  seeking  for  in  vain  on  shore,  when,  at  last, 
he  recollected  the  language  used  by  Mr  Sawbridge  the 
evening  before,  and  asked  the  captain  why  that  personage 
had  so  conducted  himself.  Now,  as  the  language  of  Mr 
Sawbridge  was  very  much  at  variance  with  equality, 
Captain  Wilson  was  not  a  little  puzzled.     However,  he 


56  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

first  pointed  out  that  the  first  lieutenant  was,  at  the 
time  being,  the  captain,  as  he  was  the  senior  officer  on 
board,  as  would  Jack  himself  be  if  he  were  the  senior 
officer  on  board ;  and  that,  as  he  before  observed,  the 
captain  or  senior  officer  represented  the  country.  That 
in  the  articles  of  war,  everybody  who  absented  himself 
from  the  ship,  committed  an  error,  or  breach  of  those 
articles ;  and  if  any  error  or  breach  of  those  articles  was 
committed  by  anyone  belonging  to  the  ship,  if  the  senior 
officer  did  not  take  notice  of  it,  he  then  himself  committed 
a  breach  of  those  articles,  and  was  liable  himself  to  be 
punished,  if  he  could  not  prove  that  he  had  noticed  it; 
it  was  therefore  to  save  himself  that  he  was  obliged  to 
point  out  the  error ;  and  if  he  did  it  in  strong  language, 
it  only  proved  his  xeal  for  his  country. 

"Upon  my  honour,  then,"  replied  Jack,  "there  can  be 
no  doubt  of  his  zeal ;  for  if  the  whole  country  had  been  at 
stake,  he  could  not  have  put  himself  in  a  greater  passion." 

"  Then  he  did  his  duty ;  but  depend  upon  it  it  was  not 
a  pleasant  one  to  him :  and  I'll  answer  for  it,  when  you 
meet  him  on  board,  he  will  be  as  friendly  with  you  as  if 
nothing  had  happened." 

"  He  told  me  that  he'd  soon  make  me  know  what  a  first 
lieutenant  was  :  what  did  he  mean  by  that .'' "  inquired  Jack. 

"  All  zeal." 

"  Yes,  but  he  said,  that  as  soon  as  he  got  on  board,  he'd 
show  me  the  difference  between  a  first  lieutenant  and  a 
midshipman." 

"  All  zeal." 

"He  said  my  ignorance  should  be  a  little  enlightened 
by-and-bye." 

"  All  zeal." 

"  And  that  he'd  send  a  sergeant  and  marines  to  fetch 
me." 

"  All  zeal." 

"  That  he  would  put  my  philosophy  to  the  proof." 

"  All  zeal,  Mr  Easy.  Zeal  will  break  out  in  this  way  ; 
but  we  should  do  nothing  in  the  service  without  it.     Re- 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  57 

collect  that  I  hope  and  trust  one  day  to  see  you  also  a 
zealous  officer." 

Here  Jack  cogitated  considerably,  and  gave  no  answer. 

"  You  will,  I  am  sure,"  continued  Captain  Wilson,  "  find 
Mr  Sawbridge  one  of  your  best  friends." 

"  Perhaps  so,"  replied  Jack,  "  but  I  did  not  much  admire 
our  first  acquaintance." 

"  It  will  perhaps  be  your  unpleasant  duty  to  find  as  much 
fault  yourself  J  we  are  all  equally  bound  to  do  our  duty  to 
our  country.  But,  Mr  Easy,  I  sent  for  you  to  say  that  we 
shall  sail  to-morrow  j  and,  as  I  shall  send  my  things  off 
this  afternoon  by  the  launch,  you  had  better  send  yours  off" 
also.  At  eight  o'clock  I  shall  go  on  board,  and  we  can 
both  go  in  the  same  boat." 

To  this  Jack  made  no  sort  of  objection,  and  having  paid 
his  bill  at  the  Fountain,  he  sent  his  chest  down  to  the  boat 
by  some  of  the  crew  who  came  up  for  it,  and  attended  the 
summons  of  the  captain  to  embark.  By  nine  o'clock  that 
evening,  Mr  Jack  Easy  was  safe  on  board  his  Majesty's 
sloop  Harpy. 

When  Jack  arrived  on  board,  it  was  dark,  and  he  did  not 
know  what  to  do  with  himself.  The  captain  was  received 
by  the  officers  on  deck,  who  took  off  their  hats  to  salute 
him.  The  captain  returned  the  salute,  and  so  did  Jack 
very  politely,  after  which,  the  captain  entered  into  con- 
versation with  the  first  lieutenant,  and  for  a  while  Jack  was 
left  to  himself.  It  was  too  dark  to  distinguish  faces,  and 
to  one  who  had  never  been  on  board  of  a  ship,  too  dark  to 
move,  so  Jack  stood  where  he  was,  which  was  not  far  from 
the  main  bitts ;  but  he  did  not  stay  long ;  the  boat  had  been 
hooked  on  to  the  quarter  davits,  and  the  boatswain  had 
called  out — 

"  Set  taut,  my  lads  !  " 

And  then  with  the  shrill  whistle,  and  "  Away  with  her!" 
forward  came  galloping  and  bounding  along,  the  men  with 
the  tackles;  and  in  the  dark  Jack  was  upset,  and  half  a 
dozen  marines  fell  upon  him ;  the  men,  who  had  no  idea 
that  an  officer  was  floored  among  the  others,  were  pleased 


58  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

at  the  joke,  and  continued  to  dance  over  those  who  were 
down,  until  they  rolled  themselves  out  of  the  way.  Jack, 
who  did  not  understand  this,  fared  badly,  and  it  was  not 
till  the  calls  piped  belay,  that  he  could  recover  his  legs, 
after  having  been  trampled  upon  by  half  the  starboard 
watch,  and  the  breath  completely  jammed  out  of  his  body. 
Jack  reeled  to  a  carronade  slide,  when  the  officers  who 
had  been  laughing  at  the  lark  as  well  as  the  men,  per- 
ceived his  situation — among  others,  Mr  Sawbridge,  the 
first  lieutenant. 

**  Are  you  hurt,  Mr  Easy  ? "  said  he,  kindly. 

"  A  little,"  replied  Jack,  catching  his  breath. 

*'  You've  had  but  a  rough  welcome,"  replied  the  first 
lieutenant,  **  but  at  certain  times,  on  board  ship,  it  is  every 
man  for  himself,  and  God  for  us  all.  Harpur,"  continued 
the  first  lieutenant  to  the  doctor,  "  take  Mr  Easy  down  in 
the  gun-room  with  you,  and  I  will  be  down  myself  as  soon 
as  I  can.     Where  is  Mr  Jolliffe  ?  " 

"  Here,  sir,"  replied  Mr  Jolliffe,  a  master's  mate,  coming 
aft  from  the  booms. 

"  There  is  a  youngster  come  on  board  with  the  captain. 
Order  one  of  the  quarter-masters  to  get  a  hammock  slung." 

In  the  meantime  Jack  went  down  into  the  gun-room, 
where  a  glass  of  wine  somewhat  recovered  him.  He  did 
not  stay  there  long,  nor  did  he  venture  to  talk  much.  As 
soon  as  his  hammock  was  ready.  Jack  was  glad  to  go  to  bed 
— and  as  he  was  much  bruised  he  was  not  disturbed  the 
next  morning  till  past  nine  o'clock.  He  then  dressed  him- 
self, went  on  deck,  found  that  the  sloop  was  just  clear  of 
the  Needles,  that  he  felt  very  queer,  then  very  sick,  and 
was  conducted  by  a  marine  down  below,  put  into  his  ham- 
mock, where  he  remained  during  a  gale  of  wind  of  three 
days,  bewildered,  confused,  puzzled,  and  every  minute 
knocking  his  head  against  the  beams  with  the  pitching  and 
tossing  of  the  sloop. 

"  And  this  is  going  to  sea,"  thought  Jack;  "  no  wonder 
that  no  one  interferes  with  another  here,  or  talks  about  a 
trespass ;  for  I'm  sure  any  one  is  welcome  to  my  share  of 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  59 

the  ocean ;  and  if  I  once  get  on  shore  again,  the  devil  may 
have  my  portion  if  he  chooses." 

Captain  Wilson  and  Mr  Sawbridge  had  both  allowed 
Jack  more  leisure  than  most  midshipmen,  during  his  illness. 
By  the  time  that  the  gale  was  over,  the  sloop  was  off  Cape 
Finisterre.  The  next  morning  the  sea  was  nearly  down, 
and  there  was  but  a  slight  breeze  on  the  waters.  The 
comparative  quiet  of  the  night  before  had  very  much 
recovered  our  hero,  and  when  the  hammocks  were  piped 
up,  he  was  accosted  by  Mr  JollifFe,  the  master's  mate,  who 
asked,  "  whether  he  intended  to  rouse  and  bit,  or 
whether  he  intended  to  sail  to  Gibraltar  between  his 
blankets." 

Jack,  who  felt  himself  quite  another  person,  turned  out 
of  his  hammock  and  dressed  himself.  A  marine  had,  by 
the  captain's  orders,  attended  Jack  during  his  illness,  and 
this  man  came  to  his  assistance,  opened  his  chest,  and 
brought  him  all  he  required,  or  Jack  would  have  been  in 
a  sad  dilemma. 

Jack  then  inquired  where  he  was  to  go,  for  he  had  not 
been  in  the  midshipmen's  berth,  although  five  days  on 
board.  The  marine  pointed  it  out  to  him,  and  Jack,  who 
felt  excessively  hungry,  crawled  over  and  between  chests, 
until  he  found  himself  fairly  in  a  hole  infinitely  inferior  to 
the  dog-kennels  which  received  his  father's  pointers. 

"  I'd  not  only  give  up  the  ocean,"  thought  Jack,  *'  and 
my  share  of  it,  but  also  my  share  of  the  Harpy,  unto  any 
one  who  fancies  it.  Equality  enough  here  !  for  every  one 
appears  equally  miserably  off." 

As  he  thus  gave  vent  to  his  thoughts,  he  perceived  that 
there  was  another  person  in  the  berth — Mr  Jolliffe,  the 
master's  mate,  who  had  fixed  his  eye  upon  Jack,  and  to 
whom  Jack  returned  the  compliment.  The  first  thing 
that  Jack  observed  was,  that  Mr  JollifFe  was  very  deeply 
pockmarked,  and  that  he  had  but  one  eye,  and  that  was  a 
piercer ;  it  appeared  like  a  little  ball  of  fire,  and  as  if  it 
reflected  more  light  from  the  solitary  candle  than  the 
candle  gave. 


6o  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"I  don't  like  your  looks,"  thought  Jack — "we   shall 

never  be  friends." 

But  here  Jack  fell  into  the  common  error  of  judging  by 
appearances,  as  will  be  proved  hereafter. 

'*  I'm  glad  to  see  you  up  again,  youngster,"  said  Jolliffe ; 
"  you've  been  on  your  beam  ends  longer  than  usual,  but 
those  who  are  strongest  suffer  most — you  made  your  mind 
up  but  late  to  come  to  sea.  However,  they  say,  *  better 
late  than  never.' " 

"  I  feel  very  much  inclined  to  argue  the  truth  of  that 
saying,"  replied  Jackj  "but  it's  no  use  just  now.  I'm 
terribly  hungry — when  shall  I  get  some  breakfast ,''  " 

"  To-morrow  morning  at  half-past  eight,"  replied  Mr 
Jolliffe.  "  Breakfast  for  to-day  has  been  over  these  two 
hours." 

"  But  must  I  then  go  without  ? " 

"  No,  I  do  not  say  that,  as  we  must  make  allowances  for 
your  illness  j  but  it  will  not  be  breakfast." 

"  Call  it  what  you  please,"  replied  Jack,  "  only  pray 
desire  the  servants  to  give  me  something  to  eat.  Dry  toast 
or  muffins — anything  will  do,  but  I  should  prefer  coffee." 

"  You  forget  that  you  are  off  Finisterre,  in  a  midship- 
man's berth  :  coffee  we  have  none — muffins  we  never  see, 
— dry  toast  cannot  be  made,  as  we  have  no  soft  bread ;  but 
a  cup  of  tea,  and  ship's  biscuit  and  butter,  I  can  desire  the 
steward  to  get  ready  for  you." 

"  Well  then,"  replied  Jack,  "  I  will  thank  you  to  procure 
me  that." 

"  Marine,"  cried  Jolliffe,  "  call  Mesty.'* 

"  Pass  the  word  for  Mesty,"  cried  the  marine — and  the 
two  syllables  were  handed  forward  until  lost  in  the  fore- 
part of  the  vessel. 

The  person  so  named  must  be  introduced  to  the  reader. 
He  was  a  curious  anomaly — a  black  man  who  had  been 
brought  to  America  as  a  slave,  and  there  sold. 

He  was  a  very  tall,  spare-built,  yet  muscular  form, 
and  had  a  face  by  no  means  common  with  his  race.  His 
head   was    long    and    narrow,    high    cheek  -  bones,    from 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  6i 

whence  his  face  descended  down  to  almost  a  point  at  the 
chin  ;  his  nose  was  very  small,  but  it  was  straight  and 
almost  Roman ;  his  mouth  also  was  unusually  small ;  and 
his  lips  thin  for  an  African ;  his  teeth  very  white,  and 
filed  to  sharp  points.  He  claimed  the  rank  of  prince  in 
his  own  country,  with  what  truth  could  not  of  course 
be  substantiated.  His  master  had  settled  at  New  York, 
and  there  Mesty  had  learned  English,  if  it  could  be  so- 
called  :  the  fact  is,  that  all  the  emigrant  labourers  at  New 
York  being  Irishmen,  he  had  learned  English  with  the 
strong  brogue  and  peculiar  phraseology  of  the  sister 
kingdom  dashed  with  a  little  Yankeeism. 

Having  been  told  that  there  was  no  slavery  in  England, 
Mesty  had  concealed  himself  on  board  an  English  merchant 
vessel,  and  escaped.  On  his  arrival  in  England  he  had 
entered  on  board  of  a  man-of-war.  Having  no  name,  it 
was  necessary  to  christen  him  on  the  ship's  books,  and 
the  first  lieutenant,  who  had  entered  him,  struck  with 
his  remarkable  expression  of  countenance,  and  being  a 
German  scholar,  had  named  him  Mephistopheles  Faust, 
from  whence  his  Christian  name  had  been  razeed  to 
Mesty.  Mesty  in  other  points  was  an  eccentric  character ; 
at  one  moment,  when  he  remembered  his  lineage,  he  was 
proud  to  excess,  at  others  he  was  grave  and  almost  sullen 
— but  when  nothing  either  in  daily  occurrences  or  in  his 
mind  ran  contrary,  he  exhibited  the  drollery  so  often 
found  in  his  nation,  with  a  spice  of  Irish  humour,  as  if 
he  had  caught  up  the  latter  with  his  Irish  brogue. 

Mesty  was  soon  seen  coming  aft,  but  almost  double 
as  he  couched  under  the  beams,  and  taking  large  strides 
with  his  naked  feet. 

"  By  the  powers,  Massa  YollifFe,  but  it  is  not  season- 
able at  all  to  send  for  me  just  now,  anyhow,  seeing  how 
the  praters  are  in  the  copper,  and  so  many  blackguard 
'palpeens  all  ready  to  change  net  for  net,  and  better 
themselves  by  the  same  mistake,  '  dam  um.' " 

"  Mesty,  you  know  I  never  send  for  you  myself,  or 
allow   others   to   do   so,  unless   it   is  necessary,"  replied 


62  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

JollifFe  ;  **  but  this  poor  lad  has  eaten  nothing  since  he 
has  been  on  board,  and  is  very  hungry — you  must  get 
him  a  little  tea." 

"Is  it  tay  you  mane,  sir  ? — I  guess,  to  make  tay,  in 
the  first  place  I  must  ab  water,  and  in  the  next  must  ab 
room  in  the  galley  to  put  the  kettle  on — and  'pose  you 
wanted  to  burn  the  tip  of  your  little  finger  just  now,  it's 
not  in  the  galley  that  you  find  a  berth  for  it — and  den 
the  water  before  seven  bells.  I've  a  notion  it's  just  im- 
passible." 

"  But  he  must  have  something,  Mesty." 

"  Never  mind  the  tea,  then,"  replied  Jack,  "  Fll  take 
some  milk." 

"Is  it  milk  massa  manes,  and  the  bumboat  woman  on 
the  oder  side  of  the  bay  ?  " 

"  We  have  no  milk,  Mr  Easy ;  you  forget  that  we 
are  on  blue  water,"  replied  Jolliffe,  "  and  I  really  am 
afraid  that  you'll  have  to  wait  till  dinner  time.  Mesty 
tells  the  truth." 

"  I  tell  you  what,  Massa  YollifFe,  it  just  seven  bells, 
and  if  the  young  gentleman  would,  instead  of  tay,  try  a 
little  out  of  the  copper,  it  might  keep  him  asy.  It  but 
a  little  difference,  tay  soup  and  pay  soup.  Now  a  bowl 
of  that,  with  some  nuts  and  a  flourish  of  pepper,  will 
do  him  good,  anyhow." 

*'  Perhaps  the  best  thing  he  can  take,  Mesty ;  get  it 
as  fast  as  you  can." 

In  a  few  minutes  the  black  brought  down  a  bowl  of 
soup  and  whole  peas  swimming  in  it,  put  before  our  hero 
a  tin  bread-basket  full  of  small  biscuit,  called  midshipmen's 
nuts,  and  the  pepper-castor.  Jack's  visions  of  tea,  coffee, 
muffins,  dry  toast,  and  milk,  vanished  as  he  perceived 
the  mess  ;  but  he  was  very  hungry,  and  he  found  it 
much  better  than  he  expected;  and  he  moreover  found 
himself  much  the  better  after  he  had  swallowed  it.  It 
struck  seven  bells,  and  he  accompanied  Mr  Jolliffe  on 
deck. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  6^ 

Chapter  X 

Showing  how  Jack  transgresses  against  his  own  philosophy. 

When  Jack  Easy  had  gained  the  deck,  he  found  the  sun 
shining  gaily,  a  soft  air  blowing  from  the  shore,  and  the 
whole  of  the  rigging  and  every  part  of  the  ship  loaded 
with  the  shirts,  trousers,  and  jackets  of  the  seamen,  which 
had  been  wetted  during  the  heavy  gale,  and  were  now 
hanging  up  to  dry ;  all  the  wet  sails  were  also  spread 
on  the  booms  or  triced  up  in  the  rigging,  and  the  ship 
was  slowly  forging  through  the  blue  water.  The  captain 
and  first  lieutenant  were  standing  on  the  gangway  in 
converse,  and  the  majority  of  the  officers  were  with  their 
quadrants  and  sextants  ascertaining  the  latitude  at  noon. 
The  decks  were  white  and  clean,  the  sweepers  had  just 
laid  by  their  brooms,  and  the  men  were  busy  coiling 
down  the  ropes.  It  was  a  scene  of  cheerfulness,  activity, 
and  order,  which  lightened  his  heart  after  the  four  days 
of  suffering,  close  air,  and  confinement,  from  which  he 
had  just  emerged. 

The  captain,  who  perceived  him,  beckoned  to  him, 
asked  him  kindly  how  he  felt :  the  first  lieutenant  also 
smiled  upon  him,  and  many  of  the  officers,  as  well  as 
his  messmates,  congratulated  him  upon  his  recovery. 

The  captain's  steward  came  up  to  him,  touched  his  hat, 
and  requested  the  pleasure  of  his  company  to  dinner  in 
the  cabin.  Jack  was  the  essence  of  politeness,  took  off 
his  hat,  and  accepted  the  invitation.  Jack  was  standing 
on  a  rope  which  a  seaman  was  coiling  down;  the  man 
touched  his  hat  and  requested  he  would  be  so  kind  as 
to  take  his  foot  off.  Jack  took  his  hat  off  his  head  in 
return,  and  his  foot  off  the  rope.  The  master  touched 
his  hat,  and  reported  twelve  o'clock  to  the  first  lieutenant, 
— the  first  lieutenant  touched  his  hat,  and  reported  twelve 
o'clock  to  the  captain, — the  captain  touched  his  hat,  and 
told  the  first  lieutenant  to  make  it  so.     The  officer  ot 


64  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

the  watch  touched  his  hat,  and  asked  the  captain  whether 
they  should  pipe  to  dinner, — the  captain  touched  his  hat, 
and  said, — "  If  you  please." 

The  midshipman  received  his  orders,  and  touched  his 
hat,  which  he  gave  to  the  head  boatswain's  mate,  who 
touched  his  hat,  and  then  the  calls  whistled  cheerily. 

**  Well,"  thought  Jack,  "  politeness  seems  to  be  the 
order  of  the  day,  and  everyone  has  an  equal  respect  for 
the  other."  Jack  stayed  on  deck  -,  he  peeped  through 
the  ports,  which  were  open,  and  looked  down  into  the 
deep  blue  wave  ;  he  cast  his  eyes  aloft,  and  watched  the 
tall  spars  sweeping  and  tracing  with  their  points,  as  it 
were,  a  small  portion  of  the  clear  sky,  as  they  acted  in 
obedience  to  the  motion  of  the  vessel ;  he  looked  for- 
ward at  the  range  of  carronades  which  lined  the  sides  of 
the  deck,  and  then  he  proceeded  to  climb  one  of  the 
carronades,  and  lean  over  the  hammocks  to  gaze  on  the 
distant  land. 

"  Young  gentleman,  get  off  those  hammocks,"  cried 
the  master,  who  was  officer  of  the  watch,  in  a  surly 
tone. 

Jack  looked  round. 

"  Do  you  hear  me,  sir  .''  I'm  speaking  to  you,"  said 
the  master  again. 

Jack  felt  very  indignant,  and  he  thought -that  politeness 
was  not  quite  so  general  as  he  supposed. 

It  happened  that  Captain  Wilson  was  upon  deck. 

"  Come  here,  Mr  Easy,"  said  the  captain ;  **  it  is  a 
rule  in  the  service,  that  no  one  gets  on  the  hammocks, 
unless  in  case  of  emergency  —  I  never  do — nor  the  first 
lieutenant — nor  any  of  the  officers  or  men, — therefore, 
upon  the  principle  of  equality,  you  must  not  do  it  either." 

'*  Certainly  not,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  "  but  still  I  do  not 
see  why  that  officer  In  the  shining  hat  should  be  so  angry, 
and  not  speak  to  me  as  if  I  were  a  gentleman,  as  well  as 
himself." 

"  I  have  already  explained  that  to  you,  Mr  Easy." 

**  O  yes,  I  recollect  now,  it's  zeal  :  but  this  zeal  appears 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  6^ 

to  me  to  be  the  only  unpleasant  thing  in  the  service.  It's 
a  pity,  as  you  said,  that  the  service  cannot  do  without  it." 

Captain  Wilson  laughed,  and  walked  away  ;  and  shortly 
afterwards,  as  he  turned  up  and  down  the  deck  with  the 
master,  he  hinted  to  him,  that  he  should  not  speak  so 
sharply  to  a  lad  who  had  committed  such  a  trifling  error 
through  ignorance.  Now  Mr  Smallsole,  the  master,  who 
was  a  surly  sort  of  a  personage,  and  did  not  like  even 
a  hint  of  disapprobation  of  his  conduct,  although  very 
regardless  of  the  feeling  of  others,  determined  to  pay 
this  off  on  Jack,  the  very  first  convenient  opportunity. 
Jack  dined  in  the  cabin,  and  was  very  much  pleased  to 
find  that  everyone  drank  wine  with  him,  and  that  every- 
body at  the  captain's  table  appeared  to  be  on  an  equality. 
Before  the  dessert  had  been  on  the  table  five  minutes, 
Jack  became  loquacious  on  his  favourite  topic  ;  all  the 
company  stared  with  surprise  at  such  an  unheard-of  doctrine 
being  broached  on  board  of  a  man-of-war ;  the  captain 
argued  the  point,  so  as  to  controvert,  without  too  much 
offending,  Jack's  notions,  laughing  the  whole  time  that 
the  conversation  was  carried  on. 

It  will  be  observed,  that  this  day  may  be  considered  as 
the  first  in  which  Jack  really  made  his  appearance  on 
board,  and  it  also  was  on  this  first  day  that  Jack  made 
known,  at  the  captain's  table,  his  very  peculiar  notions.  If 
the  company  at  the  captain's  table,  which  consisted  of  the 
second  lieutenant,  purser,  Mr  JollifFe,  and  one  of  the  mid- 
shipmen, were  astonished  at  such  heterodox  opinions  being 
started  in  the  presence  of  the  captain,  they  were  equally 
astonished  at  the  cool,  good-humoured  ridicule  with  which 
they  were  received  by  Captain  Wilson.  The  report  of 
Jack's  boldness,  and  every  word  and  opinion  that  he  had 
uttered  (of  course  much  magnified)  was  circulated  that 
evening  through  the  whole  ship ;  it  was  canvassed  in  the 
gunroom  by  the  officers  j  it  was  descanted  upon  by  the 
midshipmen  as  they  walked  the  deckj  the  captain's  steward 
held  a  levee  abreast  of  the  ship's  funnel,  in  which  he 
narrated  this  new  doctrine.     The  sergeant  of  marines  gave 

E  E 


66  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

his  opinion  in  his  berth,  that  it  was  damnable.  The  boat- 
swain talked  over  the  matter  with  the  other  warrant 
officers,  till  the  grog  was  all  gone,  and  then  dismissed  it 
as  too  dry  a  subject :  and  it  was  the  general  opinion  of  the 
ship's  company,  that  as  soon  as  they  arrived  at  Gibraltar 
Bay,  our  hero  would  bid  adieu  to  the  service,  either  by 
being  sentenced  to  death  by  a  court-martial,  or  by  being 
dismissed,  and  towed  on  shore  on  a  grating.  Others,  who 
had  more  of  the  wisdom  of  the  serpent,  and  who  had  been 
informed  by  Mr  Sawbridge  that  our  hero  was  a  lad  who 
would  inherit  a  large  property,  argued  differently,  and 
considered  that  Captain  Wilson  had  very  good  reason  for 
being  so  lenient — and  among  them  was  the  second 
lieutenant.  There  were  but  four  who  were  well  inclined 
towards  Jack, — to  wit,  the  captain,  the  first  lieutenant,  Mr 
JollifFe,  the  one-eyed  master's  mate,  and  Mephistopheles, 
the  black,  who,  having  heard  that  Jack  had  uttered  such 
sentiments,  loved  him  with  all  his  heart  and  soul. 

We  have  referred  to  the  second  lieutenant,  Mr  Asper. 
This  young  man  had  a  very  high  respect  for  birth,  and 
particularly  for  money,  of  which  he  had  very  little.  He 
was  the  son  of  an  eminent  merchant  who,  during  the  time 
that  he  was  a  midshipman,  had  allowed  him  a  much  larger 
sum  for  his  expenses  than  was  necessary  or  proper ;  and, 
during  his  career,  he  found  that  his  full  pocket  procured 
him  consequence,  not  only  among  his  own  messmates,  but 
also  with  many  of  the  officers  of  the  ships  that  he  sailed 
in.  A  man  who  is  able  and  willing  to  pay  a  large  tavern 
bill  will  always  find  followers — that  is,  to  the  tavern ;  and 
lieutenants  did  not  disdain  to  dine,  walk  arm-in-arm,  and 
be  "hail  fellow  well  met"  with  a  midshipman,  at  whose 
expense  they  lived  during  the  time  they  were  on  shore. 
Mr  Asper  had  just  received  his  commission  and  appoint- 
ment, when  his  father  became  a  bankrupt,  and  the  fountain 
was  dried  up  from  which  he  had  drawn  such  liberal 
supplies.  Since  that,  Mr  Asper  had  felt  that  his  conse- 
quence was  gone :  he  could  no  longer  talk  about  the 
service    being  a  bore,  or  that  he  should  give  it  up  ;    he 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  67 

could  no  longer  obtain  that  deference  paid  to  his  purse, 
and  not  to  himself;  and  he  had  contracted  very  expensive 
habits,  without  having  any  longer  the  means  of  gratifying 
them.  It  was  therefore  no  wonder  that  he  imbibed  a 
great  respect  for  money ;  and,  as  he  could  no  longer  find 
the  means  himself,  he  was  glad  to  pick  up  anybody  else  at 
whose  cost  he  could  indulge  in  that  extravagance  and 
expense  to  which  he  had  been  so  long  accustomed,  and 
still  sighed  for.  Now,  Mr  Asper  knew  that  our  hero  was 
well  supplied  with  money,  as  he  had  obtained  from  the 
waiter  the  amount  of  the  bill  paid  at  the  Fountain,  and  he 
had  been  waiting  for  Jack's  appearance  on  deck  to  become 
his  very  dearest  and  most  intimate  friend.  The  conversa- 
tion in  the  cabin  made  him  feel  assured  that  Jack  would 
require  and  be  grateful  for  support,  and  he  had  taken  the 
opportunity  of  a  walk  with  Mr  Sawbridge,  to  offer  to  take 
Jack  in  his  watch.  Whether  it  was  that  Mr  Sawbridge 
saw  through  the  design  of  Mr  Asper,  or  whether  he 
imagined  that  our  hero  would  be  better  pleased  with  him 
than  with  the  master,  considering  his  harshness  of  deport- 
ment ;  or  with  himself,  who  could  not,  as  first  lieutenant, 
overlook  any  remission  of  duty,  the  offer  was  accepted, 
and  Jack  Easy  was  ordered,  as  he  now  entered  upon  his 
duties,  to  keep  watch  under  Lieutenant  Asper. 

But  not  only  was  this  the  first  day  that  Jack  may  be 
said  to  have  appeared  in  the  service,  but  it  was  the  first 
day  in  which  he  had  entered  the  midshipman's  berth,  and 
was  made  acquainted  with  his  messmates. 

We  have  already  mentioned  Mr  JollifFe,  the  master's 
mate,  but  we  must  introduce  him  more  particularly. 
Nature  is  sometimes  extremely  arbitrary,  and  never  did 
she  show  herself  more  so  than  in  insisting  that  Mr  Jolliffe 
should  have  the  most  sinister  expression  of  countenance 
that  ever  had  been  looked  upon. 

He  had  suffered  martyrdom  with  the  small-pox,  which 
probably  had  contracted  his  lineaments :  his  face  was  not 
only  deeply  pitted,  but  scarred  with  this  cruel  disorder. 
One  eye  had  been  lost,  and  all  eyebrows  had  disappeared 


68  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

— and  the  contrast  between  the  dull,  sightless,  opaque 
orb  on  one  side  of  his  face,  and  the  brilliant,  piercing  little 
ball  on  the  other,  was  almost  terrifying.  His  nose  had 
been  eaten  away  by  the  disease  till  it  formed  a  sharp  but 
irregular  point ;  part  of  the  muscles  of  the  chin  were  con- 
tracted, and  it  was  drawn  in  with  unnatural  seams  and 
puckers.  He  was  tall,  gaunt,  and  thin,  seldom  smiled, 
and  when  he  did,  the  smile  produced  a  still  further 
distortion. 

Mr  JollifFe  was  the  son  of  a  warrant  officer.  He  did 
not  contract  this  disease  until  he  had  been  sent  out  to  the 
West  Indies,  where  it  swept  away  hundreds.  He  had  now 
been  long  in  the  service,  with  little  or  no  chance  of  pro- 
motion. He  had  suffered  from  indigence,  from  reflections 
upon  his  humble  birth,  from  sarcasms  on  his  appearance. 
Every  contumely  had  been  heaped  upon  him  at  one  time 
or  another,  in  the  ships  in  which  he  served  ;  among  a 
crowd  he  had  found  himself  desolate — and  now,  although 
no  one  dared  treat  him  to  his  face  with  disrespect,  he  was 
only  respected  in  the  service  from  a  knowledge  of  his 
utility  and  exemplary  performance  of  his  duties — he  had 
no  friends  or  even  companions.  For  many  years  he  had 
retired  within  himself,  he  had  improved  by  reading  and 
study,  had  felt  all  the  philanthropy  of  a  Christian,  and 
extended  it  towards  others.  Silent  and  reserved,  he 
seldom  spoke  in  the  berth,  unless  his  authority,  as  caterer, 
was  called  for ;  all  respected  Mr  Jolliffe,  but  no  one  liked, 
as  a  companion,  one  at  whose  appearance  the  very  dogs 
would  bark.  At  the  same  time  every  one  acknowledged 
his  correct  behaviour  in  every  point,  his  sense  of  justice, 
his  forbearance,  his  kindness,  and  his  good  sense.  With 
him  life  was  indeed  a  pilgrimage,  and  he  wended  his  way 
in  all  Christian  charity  and  all  Christian  zeal. 

In  all  societies,  however  small  they  may  be,  provided 
that  they  do  but  amount  to  half-a-dozen,  you  will  invari- 
ably meet  with  a  bully.  And  it  is  also  generally  the  case 
that  you  will  find  one  of  that  society  who  is  more  or  less 
the    butt.       You    will    discover    this    even    in   occasional 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  69 

meetings,  such  as  a  dinner-party,  the  major  part  of  which 
have  never  met  before. 

Previous  to  the  removal  of  the  cloth,  the  bully  will  have 
shown  himself  by  his  dictatorial  manner,  and  will  also 
have  selected  the  one  upon  whom  he  imagines  that  he  can 
best  practise.  In  a  midshipman's  berth,  this  fact  has 
become  almost  proverbial,  although  now  perhaps  it  is  not 
attended  with  that  disagreeable  despotism  which  was  per- 
mitted at  the  time  that  our  hero  entered  the  service. 

The  bully  of  the  midshipman's  berth  of  H.M.  sloop 
Harpy  was  a  young  man  about  seventeen,  with  light,  curly 
hair,  and  florid  countenance,  the  son  of  the  clerk  in  the 
dockyard  at  Plymouth,  and  his  name  was  Vigors. 

The  butt  was  a  pudding-faced  Tartar-physiognomied 
boy  of  fifteen,  whose  intellects,  with  fostering,  if  not  great, 
might  at  least  have  been  respectable,  had  he  not  lost  all 
confidence  in  his  own  powers  from  the  constant  jeers  and 
mockeries  of  those  who  had  a  greater  fluency  of  speech 
without  perhaps  so  much  real  power  of  mind.  Although 
slow,  what  he  learnt  he  invariably  retained.  This  lad's 
name  was  Gossett.  His  father  was  a  wealthy  yeoman  of 
Lynn,  in  Norfolk.  There  were  at  the  time  but  three 
other  midshipmen  in  the  ship,  of  whom  it  can  only  be  said 
that  they  were  like  midshipmen  in  general,  with  little 
appetite  for  learning,  but  good  appetites  for  dinner,  hating 
everything  like  work,  fond  of  everything  like  fun,  fighting 
*h  Voutrance''  one  minute,  and  sworn  friends  the  next — 
with  general  principles  of  honour  and  justice,  but  which 
were  occasionally  warped  according  to  circumstances  j 
with  all  the  virtues  and  vices  so  heterogeneously  jumbled 
and  heaped  together,  that  it  was  almost  impossible  to 
ascribe  any  action  to  its  true  motive,  and  to  ascertain  to 
what  point  their  vice  was  softened  down  into  almost  a 
virtue,  and  their  virtues  from  mere  excess  degenerated 
into  vice.  Their  names  were  O'Connor,  Mills,  and 
Gascoigne.  The  other  shipmates  of  our  hero  it  will  be 
better  to  introduce  as  they  appear  on  the  stage. 

After  Jack  had  dined  in  the  cabin,  he  followed  his  mess- 


70  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

mates  JollifFe  and  Gascoigne  down  into  the  midshipmen's 
berth. 

"  I  say,  Easy,"  observed  Gascoigne,  "  you  are  a  devilish 
free  and  easy  sort  of  a  fellow,  to  tell  the  captain  that  you 
considered  yourself  as  great  a  man  as  he  was." 

"I  beg  your  pardon,"  replied  Jack,  "I  did  not  argue 
individually,  but  generally,  upon  the  principles  of  the 
rights  of  man." 

"  Well,"  replied  Gascoigne,  "  it's  the  first  time  I  ever 
heard  a  middy  do  such  a  bold  thing ;  take  care  your  rights 
of  man  don't  get  you  in  the  wrong  box — there's  no  arguing 
on  board  of  a  man-of-war.  The  captain  took  it  amazingly 
easy,  but  you'd  better  not  broach  that  subject  too  often." 

"  Gascoigne  gives  you  very  good  advice,  Mr  Easy," 
observed  JollifFe ;  "  allowing  that  your  ideas  are  correct, 
which  it  appears  to  me  they  are  not,  or  at  least  impossible 
to  be  acted  upon,  there  is  such  a  thing  as  prudence,  and 
however  much  this  question  may  be  canvassed  on  shore,  in 
his  Majesty's  service  it  is  not  only  dangerous  in  itself,  but 
will  be  very  prejudicial  to  you." 

*'  Man  is  a  free  agent,"  replied  Easy. 

"  I'll  be  shot  if  a  midshipman  is,"  replied  Gascoigne, 
laughing,  "  and  that  you'll  soon  find." 

"  And  yet  it  was  in  the  expectation  of  finding  that 
equality  that  I  was  induced  to  come  to  sea." 

*'  On  the  first  of  April,  I  presume,"  replied  Gascoigne. 
"  But  are  you  really  serious  ? " 

Hereupon  Jack  entered  into  a  long  argument,  to  which 
JollifFe  and  Gascoigne  listened  without  interruption,  and 
Mesty  with  admiration ;  at  the  end  of  it,  Gascoigne  laughed 
heartily,  and  JollifFe  sighed. 

*'  From  whence  did  you  learn  all  this  ? "  inquired  JollifFe. 

"  From  my  father,  who  is  a  great  philosopher,  and  has 
constantly  upheld  these  opinions." 

**  And  did  your  father  wish  you  to  go  to  sea  ? " 

"  No,  he  was  opposed  to  it,"  replied  Jack,  *'  but  of 
course  he  could  not  combat  my  right  and  free-will." 

*'  Mr  Easy,  as  a  friend,"  replied  JollifFe,  *'  I  request  that 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  71 

you  would  as  much  as  possible  keep  your  opinions  to 
yourself.  I  shall  have  an  opportunity  of  talking  to  you  on 
the  subject  and  will  then  explain  to  you  my  reasons." 

As  soon  as  Mr  Jolliffe  had  ceased,  down  came  Mr  Vigors 
and  O'Connor,  who  had  heard  the  news  of  Jack's 
heresy. 

"  You  do  not  know  Mr  Vigors  and  Mr  O'Connor,"  said 
Jolliffe  to  Easy. 

Jack,  who  was  the  essence  of  politeness,  rose  and  bowed, 
at  which  the  others  took  their  seats,  without  returning  the 
salutation.  Vigors  had,  from  what  he  had  heard  and  now 
seen  of  Easy,  thought  he  had  somebody  else  to  play  upon, 
and  without  ceremony  he  commenced. 

**  So,  my  chap,  you  are  come  on  board  to  raise  a  mutiny 
here  with  your  equality — you  came  off  scot  free  at  the 
captain's  table  ;  but  it  won't  do,  I  can  tell  you,  even  in  the 
midshipman's  berth :  some  must  knock  under,  and  you  are 
one  of  them." 

"  If,  sir,"  replied  Easy,  "  you  mean  by  knock  under, 
that  I  must  submit,  I  can  assure  you  that  you  are  mistaken. 
Upon  the  same  principle  that  I  would  never  play  the  tyrant 
to  those  weaker  than  myself,  so  will  I  resent  oppression  if 
attempted." 

"Damme,  but  he's  a  regular  sea  lawyer  already:  how- 
ever, my  boy,  we'll  soon  put  your  mettle  to  the  proof." 

"  Am  I  then  to  infer  that  I  am  not  on  an  equality  with 
my  messmates  ? "  replied  Jack,  looking  at  Jolliffe.  The 
latter  was  about  to  answer  him,  but  Vigors  interrupted. 

"  Yes,  you  are  on  an  equality  as  far  as  this, — that  you 
have  an  equal  right  to  the  berth,  if  you  are  not  knocked  out 
of  it  for  insolence  to  your  masters ;  that  you  have  an  equal 
share  to  pay  for  the  things  purchased  for  the  mess,  and  an 
equal  right  to  have  your  share,  provided  you  can  get  it ; 
you  have  an  equal  right  to  talk,  provided  you  are  not  told 
to  hold  your  tongue.  The  fact  is,  you  have  an  equal  right 
with  every  one  else  to  do  as  you  can,  get  what  you  can, 
and  say  what  you  can,  always  provided  that  you  can  do  it ; 
for  here  the  weakest  goes  to  the  wall,  and  that  is  midship- 


72  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

man's  berth  equality.  Now,  do  you  understand  all  that ; 
or  will  you  wait  for  a  practical  illustration  ?  " 

"I  am  then  to  infer  that  the  equality  here  is  as  much 
destroyed  as  it  even  will  be  among  savages,  where  the 
strong  oppress  the  weak,  and  the  only  law  is  club  law — in 
fact,  much  the  same  as  it  is  at  a  public  or  large  school,  on 
shore  ? " 

**  I  suspect  you  are  right  for  once.  You  were  at  a  public 
school :  how  did  they  treat  you  there  ? " 

"  As  you  propose  treating  people  here, — '  the  weakest 
went  to  the  wall.'  " 

"  Well,  then,  a  nod's  as  good  as  a  wink  to  a  blind  horse, 
that's  all,  my  hearty,"  said  Vigors. 

But  the  hands  being  turned  up,  "Shorten" sail"  put  an 
end  to  the  altercation  for  the  present. 

As  our  hero  had  not  yet  received  orders  to  go  to  his 
duty,  he  remained  below  with  Mesty. 

"By  de  powers,  Massa  Easy,  but  I  lub  you  with  my 
hole  soul,"  said  Mesty.  "By  Jasus,  you  really  tark  fine, 
Massa  Easy  ;  dat  Mr  Vigor — nebber  care  for  him,  wouldn't 
you  lik  him — and  sure  you  would,"  continued  the  black, 
feeling  the  muscle  of  Jack's  arm.  "  By  the  soul  of  my 
fader,  I'd  bet  my  week's  allowance  on  you  anyhow. 
Nebber  be  'fraid,  Massa  Easy." 

"I  am  not  afraid,"  replied  Jack;  "  Fve  thrashed  bigger 
fellows  than  he  j "  and  Jack's  assertion  was  true.  Mr 
Bonnycastle  never  interfered  in  a  fair  ifight,  and  took  no 
notice  of  black  eyes,  provided  the  lessons  were  well  said. 
Jack  had  fought  and  fought  again,  until  he  was  a  very 
good  bruiser,  and  although  not  so  tall  as  Vigors,  he  was 
much  better  built  for  fighting.  A  knowing  Westminster 
boy  would  have  bet  his  half-crown  upon  Jack  had  he  seen 
him  and  his  anticipated  adversary. 

The  constant  battles  which  Jack  was  obliged  to  fight 
at  school  had  been  brought  forward  by  Jack  against  his 
father's  arguments  in  favour  of  equality,  but  they  had  been 
overruled  by  Mr  Easy's  pointing  out  that  the  combats  of 
boys  had  nothing  to  do  with  the  rights  of  man. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  73 

As  soon  as  the  watch  was  called,  Vigors,  O'Connor, 
Gossett,  and  Gascoigne  came  down  into  the  berth.  Vigors, 
who  was  the  strongest  in  the  berth,  except  JollifFe,  had 
successively  had  his  superiority  acknowledged,  and,  when 
on  deck,  he  had  talked  of  Easy's  impertinence,  and  his 
intention  of  bringing  him  to  his  senses.  The  others, 
therefore,  came  down  to  see  the  fun. 

"  Well,  Mr  Easy,"  observed  Vigors,  as  he  came  into  the 
berth,  **  you  take  after  your  name,  at  all  events ;  I  suppose 
you  intend  to  eat  the  king's  provision,  and  do  nothing." 

Jack's  mettle  was  already  up. 

"  You  will  oblige  me,  sir,  by  minding  your  own  busi- 
ness," replied  Jack. 

**  You  impudent  blackguard,  if  you  say  another  word, 
I'll  give  you  a  good  thrashing,  and  knock  some  of  your 
equality  out  of  you." 

"  Indeed,"  replied  Jack,  who  almost  fancied  himself  back 
at  Mr  Bonnycastle's  ;  "  we'll  try  that." 

Whereupon  Jack  very  coolly  divested  himself  of  his 
upper  garments,  neckerchief,  and  shirt,  much  to  the  sur- 
prise of  Mr  Vigors,  who  little  contemplated  such  a  proof 
of  decision  and  confidence,  and  still  more  to  the  delight 
of  the  other  midshipmen,  who  would  have  forfeited  a 
week's  allowance  to  see  Vigors  well  thrashed.  Vigors, 
however,  knew  that  he  had  gone  too  far  to  retreat ;  he 
therefore  prepared  for  action ;  and,  when  ready,  the 
whole  party  went  4  out  into  the  steerage  to  settle  the 
business. 

Vigors  had  gained  his  assumed  authority  more  by  bully- 
ing than  fighting ;  others  had  submitted  to  him  without 
a  sufiicient  trial ;  Jack,  on  the  contrary,  had  won  his  way 
up  in  school  by  hard  and  scientific  combat ;  the  result, 
therefore,  may  easily  be  imagined.  In  less  than  a  quarter 
of  an  hour  Vigors,  beaten  dead,  with  his  eyes  closed,  and 
three  teeth  out,  gave  in :  while  Jack,  after  a  basin  of 
water,  looked  as  fresh  as  ever,  with  the  exception  of  a  few 
trifling  scratches. 

The  news  of  this  victory  was  soon  through  the  ship ; 


74  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

and  before  Jack  had  resumed  his  clothes  it  had  been  told 
confidentially  by  Sawbridge  to  the  captain. 

"  So  soon  !  "  said  Captain  Wilson,  laughing  ;  *'  I  ex- 
pected that  a  midshipman's  berth  would  do  wonders  ;  but 
I  did  not  expect  this  yet  awhile.  This  victory  is  the  first 
severe  blow  to  Mr  Easy's  equality,  and  will  be  more 
valuable  than  twenty  defeats.  Let  him  now  go  to  his 
duty,  he  will  soon  find  his  level." 


Chapter  XI 

In  which  our  hero  proves  that  all  on  board  should  equally  sacrifice  decency 

to  duty. 

The  success  of  any  young  man  in  a  profession  very  much 
depends  upon  the  occurrences  at  the  commencement  of  his 
career,  as  from  those  is  his  character  judged,  and  he  is 
treated  accordingly.  Jack  had  chosen  to  enter  the  service 
at  a  much  later  period  than  most  lads  ;  he  was  tall  and 
manly  for  his  age,  and  his  countenance,  if  not  strictly 
handsome,  wore  that  expression  of  honesty  and  boldness 
which  is  sure  to  please.  His  spirit  in  not  submitting  to, 
and  meeting,  Vigors  when  he  had  hardly  recovered  from 
his  severe  prostration  of  sea-sickness,  had  gained  him  with 
the  many  respect,  and  with  all,  except  his  antagonist  and 
Mr  Smallsole,  good-will.  Instead  of  being  laughed  at  by 
his  messmates,  he  was  played  with ;  for  JoUiffe  smiled  at 
his  absurdities,  and  attempted  to  reason  him  out  of  them, 
and  the  others  liked  Jack  for  himself  and  his  generosity, 
and  moreover,  because  they  looked  up  to  him  as  a  pro- 
tector against  Vigors,  who  had  persecuted  them  all ;  for 
Jack  had  declared,  that  as  might  was  right  in  a  midship- 
man's berth,  he  would  so  far  restore  equality,  that  if  he 
could  not  put  down  those  who  were  the  strongest,  at  all 
events  he  would  protect  the  weak,  and,  let  who  would 
come  into  the  berth,  they  must  be  his  master  before  they 
should  tyrannise  over  those  weaker  than  he. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  75 

Thus  did  Jack  Easy  make  the  best  use  that  he  could  of 
his  strength,  and  become,  as  it  were,  the  champion  and 
security  of  those  who,  although  much  longer  at  sea  and 
more  experienced  than  he  was,  were  glad  to  shelter  them- 
selves under  his  courage  and  skill,  the  latter  of  which  had 
excited  the  admiration  of  the  butcher  of  the  ship,  who  had 
been  a  pugilist  by  profession.  Thus  did  Jack  at  once  take 
the  rank  of  an  oldster,  and  soon  became  the  leader  of  all 
the  mischief.  We  particularly  observe  this,  because,  had 
it  so  happened  that  our  hero  had  succumbed  to  Vigors,  the 
case  would  have  been  the  very  reverse.  He  then  would 
have  had  to  go  through  the  ordeal  to  which  most  who  enter 
the  naval  service  are  exposed,  which  cannot  be  better  ex- 
plained than  by  comparing  it  to  the  fagging  carried  to  such 
an  iniquitous  extent  in  public  schools. 

Mr  Asper,  for  his  own  reasons,  made  him  his  companion: 
they  walked  the  night  watch  together,  and  he  listened  to 
all  Jack's  nonsense  about  the  rights  of  man.  And  here  Mr 
Asper  did  good  without  intending  it,  for,  at  the  same  time 
that  he  appeared  to  agree  with  Jack,  to  secure  his  favour, 
he  cautioned  him,  and  pointed  out  why  this  equality  could 
not  exist  altogether  on  board  of  a  man-of-war. 

As  for  himself,  he  said,  he  saw  no  difference  between  a 
lieutenant,  or  even  a  captain,  and  a  midshipman,  provided 
they  were  gentlemen :  he  should  choose  his  friends  where 
he  liked,  and  despised  that  power  of  annoyance  which  the 
service  permitted.  Of  course,  Jack  and  Mr  Asper  were 
good  friends,  especially  as,  when  half  the  watch  was  over, 
to  conciliate  his  good-will  and  to  get  rid  of  his  eternal 
arguing,  Mr  Asper  would  send  Jack  down  to  bed. 

They  were  now  entering  the  Straits,  and  expected  to 
anchor  the  next  day  at  Gibraltar,  and  Jack  was  forward  on 
the  forecastle,  talking  with  Mesty,  with  whom  he  had  con- 
tracted a  great  friendship,  for  there  was  nothing  that  Mesty 
would  not  have  done  for  Jack,  although  he  had  not  been 
three  weeks  in  the  ship  j  but  a  little  reflection  will  show 
that  it  was  natural. 

Mesty  had  been  a  great  man  in  his  own  country  ;  he  had 


76  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

suffered  all  the  horrors  of  a  passage  in  a  slave  ship  ;  he  had 
been  sold  as  a  slave  twice  j  he  had  escaped — but  he  found 
that  the  universal  feeling  was  strong  against  his  colour,  and 
that  on  board  of  a  man-of-war  he  was  condemned,  although 
free,  to  the  humblest  of  offices. 

He  had  never  heard  any  one  utter  the  sentiments,  which 
now  beat  in  his  own  heart,  of  liberty  and  equality — we  say 
noiv,  for  when  he  was  in  his  own  country  before  his 
captivity,  he  had  no  ideas  of  equality  ;  no  one  has  who  is 
in  power :  but  he  had  been  schooled ;  and  although  people 
talked  of  liberty  and  equality  at  New  York,  he  found  that 
what  they  preached  for  themselves,  they  did  not  practise 
towards  others,  and  that,  in  the  midst  of  liberty  and 
equality,  he  and  thousands  more  were  enslaved  and 
degraded  beings. 

Escaping  to  England,  he  had  regained  his  liberty,  but 
not  his  equality ;  his  colour  had  prevented  the  latter,  and 
in  that  feeling  all  the  world  appeared  to  conspire  together 
against  him,  until,  to  his  astonishment,  he  heard  those 
sentiments  boldly  expressed  from  the  lips  of  Jack,  and  that 
in  a  service  where  it  was  almost  tantamount  to  mutiny. 
Mesty,  whose  character  is  not  yet  developed,  immediately 
took  a  fondness  for  our  hero,  and  in  a  hundred  ways  showed 
his  attachment.  Jack  also  liked  Mesty,  and  was  fond  of 
talking  with  him,  and  every  evening,  since  the  combat  with 
Vigors,  they  had  generally  met  in  the  forecastle  to  discuss 
the  principles  of  equality  and  the  rights  of  man. 

The  boatswain,  whose  name  was  Biggs,  was  a  slight, 
dapper,  active  little  man,  who,  as  captain  of  the  foretop, 
had  shown  an  uncommon  degree  of  courage  in  a  hurricane, 
so  much  so,  as  to  recommend  him  to  the  admiral  for  pro- 
motion. It  was  given  to  him ;  and  after  the  ship  to  which 
he  had  been  appointed  was  paid  off",  he  had  been  ordered 
to  join  H.M.  sloop  Harpy.  Jack's  conversation  with  Mesty 
was  interrupted  by  the  voice  of  the  boatswain,  who  was 
haranguing  his  boy.  "  It's  now  ten  minutes,  sir,  by  my 
repeater,"  said  the  boatswain,  "  that  I  have  sent  for  you  ; " 
and  Mr  Biggs  pulled  out  a  huge  silver  watch,  almost  as  big 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  77 

as  a  Norfolk  turnip.  A  Jew  had  sold  him  the  waich  ;  the 
boatswain  had  heard  of  repeaters,  and  wished  to  have  one. 
Moses  had  only  shown  him  watches  with  the  hour  and 
minute  hands ;  he  now  produced  one  with  a  second  hand, 
telling  him  it  was  a  repeater. 

"  What  makes  it  a  repeater  ? "  inquired  the  boatswain. 

"  Common  watches,"  said  the  cunning  Jew,  "  only  tell 
the  minutes  and  hours ;  but  all  repeaters  tell  the  seconds." 

The  boatswain  was  satisfied — bought  the  watch,  and, 
although  many  had  told  him  it  was  no  repeater,  he  insisted 
that  it  was,  and  would  call  it  so." 

"I  swear,"  continued  the  boatswain,  "it's  ten  minutes 
and  twenty  seconds  by  my  repeater." 

"  If  you  please,  sir,"  said  the  boy,  "  I  was  changing  my 
trousers  when  you  sent  for  me,  and  then  I  had  to  stow 
away  my  bag  again." 

•'Silence,  sir;  I'd  have  you  to  know  that  when  you  are 
sent  for  by  your  officer,  trousers  or  no  trousers,  it  is  your 
duty  to  come  up  directly." 

"Without  trousers,  sir?"  replied  the  boy. 

"  Yes,  sir,  without  trousers ;  if  the  captain  required  me, 
I  should  come  without  my  shirt.  Duty  before  decency." 
So  saying,  the  boatswain  lays  hold  of  the  boy. 

•*  Surely,  Mr  Biggs,"  said  Jack,  **  you  are  not  going  to 
punish  that  boy  for  not  coming  up  without  his  trousers  ?  " 

"  Yes,  Mr  Easy,  I  am — I  must  teach  him  a  lesson.  We 
are  bound,  now  that  new-fangled  ideas  are  brought  into 
the  ship,  to  uphold  the  dignity  of  the  service;  and  the 
orders  of  an  officer  are  not  to  be  delayed  ten  minutes  and 
twenty  seconds  because  a  boy  has  no  trousers  on."  Where- 
upon the  boatswain  administered  several  smart  cuts  with 
his  rattan  upon  the  boy,  proving  that  it  was  quite  as  well 
that  he  had  put  on  his  trousers  before  he  came  on  deck. 
**  There,"  said  Mr  Biggs,  "  is  a  lesson  for  you,  you  scamp 
— and,  Mr  Easy,  it  is  a  lesson  for  you  also,"  continued  the 
boatswain,  walking  away  with  a  most  consequential  air. 

"  Murder  Irish  !  "  said  Mesty — "  how  him  cut  caper. 
De  oder  day  he  hawl  out  de  weather  ear-ring,  and  touch 


y8  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

him  hat  to  a  midshipman.  Sure  enough,  make  um  cat 
laugh." 

The  next  day  the  Harpy  was  at  anchor  in  Gibraltar  Bay ; 
the  captain  went  on  shore,  directing  the  gig  to  be  sent  for 
him  before  nine  o'clock ;  after  which  hour  the  sally-port  is 
only  opened  by  special  permission.  There  happened  to  be 
a  ball  given  by  the  officers  of  the  garrison  on  that  evening, 
and  a  polite  invitation  was  sent  to  the  officers  of  H.M. 
sloop  Harpy.  As  those  who  accepted  the  invitation  would 
be  detained  late,  it  was  not  possible  for  them  to  come  off 
that  night.  And  as  their  services  were  required  for  the 
next  day.  Captain  Wilson  allowed  them  to  remain  on  shore 
until  seven  o'clock  the  next  morning,  at  which  hour,  as 
there  was  a  large  party,  there  would  be  two  boats  sent  for 
them. 

Mr  Asper  obtained  leave,  and  asked  permission  to  take 
our  hero  with  him ;  to  which  Mr  Sawbridge  consented. 
Many  other  officers  obtained  leave,  and,  among  Others,  the 
boatswain,  who,  aware  that  his  services  would  be  in 
request  as  soon  as  the  equipment  commenced,  asked  per- 
mission for  this  evening.  And  Mr  Sawbridge,  feeling  that 
he  could  be  better  spared  at  this  than  at  any  other  time, 
consented.  Asper  and  Jack  went  to  an  inn,  dined,  bespoke 
beds,  and  then  dressed  themselves  for  the  ball,  which  was 
very  bri'liant,  and,  from  the  company  of  the  officers,  very 
pleasant.  Captain  Wilson  looked  on  at  the  commencement, 
and  then  returned  on  board.  Jack  behaved  with  his  usual 
politeness,  danced  till  two  o'clock,  and  then,  as  the  ball 
thinned,  Asper  proposed  that  they  should  retire.  Having 
once  more  applied  to  the  refreshment-room,  they  had  pro- 
cured their  hats,  and  were  about  to  depart,  when  one  of 
the  officers  of  the  garrison  asked  Jack  if  he  would  like  to 
see  a  baboon,  which  had  just  been  brought  down  from  the 
rock ;  and,  taking  some  of  the  cakes,  they  repaired  to  the 
court  where  the  animal  was  chained  down  to  a  small  tank. 
Jack  fed  the  brute  till  all  the  cakes  were  gone,  and  then, 
because  he  had  no  more  to  give  him,  the  baboon  flew  at 
Jack,  who,  in  making  his  retreat  fell  back  into  the  tank, 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  79 

which  was  about  two  feet  deep.  This  was  a  joke,  and 
having  laughed  heartily,  they  wished  the  officer  good- 
night, and  went  to  the  inn. 

Now,  what  with  the  number  of  officers  of  the  Harpy 
on  shore,  who  had  all  put  up  at  the  same  inn,  and  other 
occupants,  the  landlord  was  obliged  to  put  his  company 
into  double  and  treble-bedded  rooms ;  but  this  was  of 
little  consequence.  Jack  was  shown  into  a  double-bedded 
room,  and  proceeded  to  undress  •,  the  other  was  evidently 
occupied,  by  the  heavy  breathing  which  saluted  Jack's  ear. 

As  Jack  undressed,  he  recollected  that  his  trousers 
were  wet  through,  and  to  dry  them  he  opened  the  window, 
hung  them  out,  and  then  jammed  down  the  window  again 
upon  them,  to  hold  them  in  their  position,  after  which  he 
turned  in  and  fell  fast  asleep.  At  six  o'clock  he  was 
called,  as  he  had  requested,  and  proceeded  to  dress,  but 
to  his  astonishment  found  the  window  thrown  open  and 
his  trousers  missing.  It  was  evident,  that  his  partner  in 
the  room  had  thrown  the  window  open  during  the  night, 
and  that  his  trousers,  having  fallen  down  into  the  street, 
had  been  walked  off  with  by  somebody  or  another.  Jack 
looked  out  of  the  window  once  more,  and  perceived  that 
whoever  had  thrown  open  the  window  had  been  unwell 
during  the  night.  A  nice  drunken  companion  I  have 
had,  thought  Jack ;  but  what's  to  be  done  ?  And  in 
saying  this,  he  walked  up  to  the  other  bed,  and  perceived 
that  it  was  tenanted  by  the  boatswain.  Well,  thought 
Jack,  as  Mr  Biggs  has  thought  proper  to  lose  my  trousers, 
I  think  I  have  a  right  to  take  his,  or  at  least  the  wear  of 
them  to  go  on  board.  It  was  but  last  night  he  declared 
that  decency  must  give  way  to  duty,  and  that  the  orders 
of  a  superior  officer  were  to  be  obeyed,  with  or  without 
garments.  I  know  he  is  obliged  to  be  on  board,  and 
now  he  shall  try  how  he  likes  to  obey  orders  in  his  shirt 
tails.  So  cogitating.  Jack  took  the  trousers  of  the  boat- 
swain, who  still  snored,  although  he  had  been  called, 
and  putting  them  on,  completed  the  rest  of  his  dress, 
and  quitted  the  room.     He  went  to  that  of  Mr  Asper, 


8o  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

where  he  found  him  just  ready,  and,  having  paid  the 
bill — for  Asper  had  forgotten  his  purse — they  proceeded 
down  to  the  sally-port,  where  they  found  other  officers 
waiting,  sufficient  to  load  the  first  boat,  which  shoved 
off,  and  they  went  on  board.  As  soon  as  he  was  down 
below.  Jack  hastened  to  change  his  trousers,  and,  un- 
observed by  anyone,  threw  those  belonging  to  Mr  Biggs 
on  a  chair  in  his  cabin,  and,  having  made  a  confidant  of 
Mesty,  who  was  delighted,  he  went  on  deck,  and  waited 
the  issue  of  the  affair. 

Before  Jack  left  the  hotel,  he  had  told  the  waiter  that 
there  was  the  boatswain  still  fast  asleep,  and  that  he  must 
be  roused  up  immediately  ;  and  this  injunction  was  obeyed. 
The  boatswain,  who  had  drunk  too  much  the  night  before, 
and,  as  Jack  had  truly  imagined,  had  opened  the  window 
because  he  was  unwell,  was  wakened  up,  and  hearing 
how  late  it  was,  hastened  to  dress  himself.  Not  finding 
his  trousers,  he  rang  the  bell,  supposing  that  they  had 
been  taken  down  to  be  brushed,  and,  in  the  meantime, 
put  on  everything  else,  that  he  might  lose  no  time :  the 
waiter  who  answered  the  bell,  denied  having  taken  the 
trousers  out  of  the  room,  and  poor  Mr  Biggs  was  in 
a  sad  quandary.  What  had  become  of  them,  he  could 
not  tell :  he  had  no  recollection  of  having  gone  to  bed 
the  night  before ;  he  inquired  of  the  waiter,  who  said 
that  he  knew  nothing  about  them — that  he  was  very 
tipsy  when  he  came  home,  and  that  when  he  called  him, 
he  had  found  the  window  open,  and  it  appeared  that  he 
had  been  unwell — he  supposed  that  he  had  thrown  his 
trousers  out  of  the  window.  Time  flew,  and  the  boatswain 
was  in  despair.     "  Could  they  lend  him  a  pair  .""' 

"  He  would  call  his  master." 

The  master  of  the  inn  knew  very  well  the  difference  of 
rank  between  officers,  and  those  whom  he  could  trust 
and  those  whom  he  could  not.  He  sent  up  the  bill  by 
the  waiter,  and  stated  that,  for  a  deposit,  the  gentleman 
might  have  a  pair  of  trousers.  The  boatswain  felt  in  his 
pockets  and  remembered   that   all  his   money  was   in   his 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  8i 

trousers'  pocket.  He  could  not  only  not  leave  a  deposit, 
but  could  not  pay  his  bill.  The  landlord  was  inexorable. 
It  was  bad  enough  to  lose  his  money,  but  he  could  not 
lose  more. 

"I  shall  be  tried  by  a  court-martial,  by  heavens!" 
exclaimed  the  boatswain.  "  It's  not  far  from  the  sally- 
port :  I'll  make  a  run  for  it,  and  I  can  slip  into  one  of 
the  boats  and  get  another  pair  of  trousers  before  I  report 
myself  as  having  come  on  board ; "  so  making  up  his 
mind,  the  boatswain  took  to  his  heels,  and  with  his 
check  shirt  tails  streaming  in  the  wind,  ran  as  hard  as 
he  could  to  where  the  boat  was  waiting  to  receive  him. 
He  was  encountered  by  many,  but  he  only  ran  the  faster 
the  more  they  jeered,  and,  at  last,  arrived  breathless  at 
his  goal,  flew  down  the  steps,  jumped  into  the  boat,  and 
squatted  on  the  stern  sheets,  much  to  the  surprise  of  the 
officers  and  men,  who  thought  him  mad.  He  stated  in 
a  few  words  that  somebody  had  stolen  his  trousers  during 
the  night ;  and  as  it  was  already  late,  the  boat  shoved  off, 
the  men  as  well  as  officers  convulsed  with  laughter. 

**  Have  any  of  you  a  pea-jacket  ? "  inquired  the  boat- 
swain of  the  men — but  the  weather  was  so  warm  that 
none  of  them  had  brought  a  pea-jacket.  The  boatswain 
looked  round  j  he  perceived  that  the  officers  were  sitting 
on  a  boat-cloak. 

"  Whose  boat-cloak  is  that  ? "  inquired  the  boatswain. 

*'  Mine,"  replied  Gascoigne. 

"  I  trust,  Mr  Gascoigne,  you  will  have  the  kindness  to 
lend  it  to  me  to  go  up  the  side  with." 

"Indeed  I  will  not,"  replied  Gascoigne,  who  would 
sooner  have  thrown  it  overboard  and  have  lost  it,  than 
not  beheld  the  anticipated  fun :  "  recollect  I  asked  you 
for  a  fishing-line,  when  we  were  becalmed  off  Cape  St 
Vincent,  and  you  sent  word  that  you'd  see  me  d — d  first. 
Now  I'll  just  see  you  the  same  before  you  have  my  boat- 
cloak." 

"  Oh,  Mr  Gascoigne,  I'll  give  you  three  lines,  directly 
I  get  on  board." 

E  F 

V 

V 


82  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  I  daresay  you  will,  but  that  won't  do  now.  *  Tit  for 
tat,*  Mr  Boatswain,  and  hang  all  favours,"  replied  Gascoigne, 
who  was  steering  the  boat,  having  been  sent  on  shore  for 
the  others.  "  In  bow — rowed  of  all."  The  boat  was 
laid  alongside — the  relentless  Gascoigne  caught  up  his 
boat-cloak  as  the  other  officers  rose  to  go  on  board,  and 
rolling  it  up,  in  spite  of  the  earnest  entreaties  of  Mr  Biggs, 
tossed  it  into  the  main  chains,  to  the  man  who  had  thrown 
the  stern  fast ;  and  to  make  the  situation  of  Mr  Biggs 
still  more  deplorable,  the  first  lieutenant  was  standing 
looking  into  the  boat,  and  Captain  Wilson  walking  the 
quarter-deck. 

"  Come,  Mr  Biggs,  I  expected  you  off  in  the  first  boat," 
cried  Mr  Sawbridge;  "be  as  smart  as  you  please,  for 
the  yards  are  not  yet  squared." 

"  Shall  I  go  ahead  in  this  boat,  and  square  them, 
sir  ? " 

"  That  boat !  no ;  let  her  drop  astern,  jump  up  here 
and  lower  down  the  dingey.  What  the  devil  do  you 
sit  there  for,  Mr  Biggs  ? — you'll  oblige  me  by  showing 
a  little  more  activity,  or,  by  Jove,  you  may  save  yourself 
the  trouble  of  asking  to  go  on  shore  again.  Are  you 
sober,  sir  ? " 

The  last  observation  decided  Mr  Biggs.  He  sprung 
up  from  the  boat  just  as  he  was,  and  touched  his  hat  as 
he  passed  the  first  lieutenant. 

"Perfectly  sober,  sir,  but  I've  lost  my  trousers." 

"So  it  appears,  sir,"  replied  Mr  Sawbridge,  as  Mr 
Biggs  stood  on  the  planeshear  of  the  sloop  where  the 
hammock  netting  divides  for  an  entrance,  with  his  shirt 
tails  fluttering  in  the  sea  breeze ;  but  Mr  Sawbridge 
could  not  contain  himself  any  longer ;  he  ran  down  the 
ship  ladder  which  led  on  the  quarter-deck,  choked  with 
laughter.  Mr  Biggs  could  not  descend  until  after  Mr 
Sawbridge,  and  the  conversation  had  attracted  the  notice 
of  all,  and  every  eye  in  the  ship  was  on  him. 

"  What's  all  this  ? "  said  Captain  Wilson,  coming  to 
the  gangway. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  8^ 

"  Duty  before  decency,"  replied  Jack,  who  stood  by 
enjoying  the  joke. 

Mr  Biggs  recollected  the  day  before — he  cast  a  furious 
look  at  Jack,  as  he  touched  his  hat  to  the  captain,  and 
then  dived  down  to  the  lower  deck. 

If  anything  could  add  to  the  indignation  of  the  boat- 
swain, it  was  to  find  that  his  trousers  had  come  on  board 
before  him.  He  now  felt  that  a  trick  had  been  played 
him,  and  also  that  our  hero  must  have  been  the  party, 
but  he  could  prove  nothing ;  he  could  not  say  who  slept 
in  the  same  room,  for  he  was  fast  asleep  when  Jack  went 
to  bed,  and  fast  asleep  when  Jack  quitted  the  room. 

The  truth  of  the  story  soon  became  known  to  all  the 
ship,  and  "duty  before  decency"  became  a  bye- word 
All  that  the  boatswain  could  do  he  did,  which  was  to 
revenge  himself  upon  the  poor  boy — and  Gascoigne  and 
Jack  never  got  any  fishing-tackle.  The  boatswain  was 
as  obnoxious  to  the  men  as  Vigors,  and  in  consequence 
of  Jack's  known  opinions  upon  the  rights  of  man,  and 
his  having  floored  their  two  greatest  enemies,  he  became 
a  great  favourite  with  the  seamen,  and  as  all  favourites 
are  honoured  by  them  with  a  soubriquet,  our  hero  obtained 
that  of  Equality  Jack. 

Chapter  XII 

In  which  our  hero  prefers  going  down  to  going  up  ;  a  choice,  it  is  to  be 
hoped,  he  will  reverse  upon  a  more  important  occasion. 

The  next  day  being  Sunday,  the  hands  were  turned  up  to 
divisions,  and  the  weather  not  being  favourable,  instead  of 
the  service  the  articles  of  war  were  read  with  all  due 
respect  shown  to  the  same,  the  captain,  officers,  and  crew, 
with  their  hats  off  in  a  mizzling  rain.  Jack,  who  had 
been  told  by  the  captain  that  these  articles  of  war  were 
the  rules  and  regulations  of  the  service,  by  which  the 
captain,  officers,  and  men,  were  equally  bound,  listened 
to  them  as  they  were  read  by  the  clerk  with  the  greatest 


84  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

attention.  He  little  thought  that  there  were  about  five 
hundred  orders  from  the  admiralty  tacked  on  to  them, 
which,  like  the  numerous  codicils  of  some  wills,  contained 
the  most  important  matter,  and  to  a  certain  degree  make 
the  will  nugatory. 

Jack  listened  very  attentively,  and,  as  each  article  was 
propounded,  felt  that  he  was  not  likely  to  commit  himself 
in  that  point,  and,  although  he  was  rather  astonished  to 
find  such  a  positive  injunction  against  swearing  considered 
quite  a  dead  letter  in  the  ship,  he  thought  that,  altogether, 
he  saw  his  way  very  clear.  But  to  make  certain  of  it,  as 
soon  as  the  hands  had  been  piped  down  he  begged  the 
clerk  to  let  him  have  a  copy  of  the  articles. 

Now  the  clerk  had  three,  being  the  allowance  of  the 
ship,  or  at  least  all  that  he  had  in  his  possession,  and  made 
some  demur  at  parting  with  one  ;  but  at  last  he  proposed — 
**  some  rascal,"  as  he  said,  having  stolen  his  tooth-brush — 
that  if  Jack  would  give  him  one  he  would  give  him  one  of 
the  copies  of  the  articles  of  war.  Jack  replied  that  the  one 
he  had  in  use  was  very  much  worn,  and  that  unfortunately 
he  had  but  one  new  one,  which  he  could  not  spare. 
Thereupon  the  clerk,  who  was  a  very  clean  personage,  and 
could  not  bear  that  his  teeth  should  be  dirty,  agreed  to 
accept  the  one  in  use,  as  Jack  could  not  part  with  the 
other.  The  exchange  was  made,  and  Jack  read  the 
articles  of  war  over  and  over  again,  till  he  thought  he  was 
fully  master  of  them. 

"  Now,"  says  Jack,  "  I  know  what  I  am  to  do,  and  what 
I  am  to  expect,  and  these  articles  of  war  I  will  carry  in  my 
pocket  as  long  as  I'm  in  the  service ;  that  is  to  say,  if  they 
last  so  long  :  and  provided  they  do  not,  I  am  able  to  replace 
them  with  another  old  tooth-brush,  which  appears  to  be 
the  value  attached  to  them." 

The  Harpy  remained  a  fortnight  in  Gibraltar  Bay,  and 
Jack  had  occasionally  a  run  on  shore,  and  Mr  Asper 
invariably  went  with  him  to  keep  him  out  of  mischief; 
that  is  to  say,  he  allowed  him  to  throw  his  money  away 
on  no  one  more  worthless  than  himself. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  85 

One  morning  Jack  went  down  in  the  berth,  and  found 
young  Gossett  blubbering. 

"What's  the  matter,  my  dear  Mr  Gossett?"  inquired 
Jack,  who  was  just  as  pohte  to  the  youngster  as  he  was  to 
anybody  else. 

*'  Vigors  has  been  thrashing  me  with  a  rope's  end," 
replied  Gossett,  rubbing  his  arm  and  shoulders. 

"  What  for  ? "  inquired  Jack. 

*'  Because  he  says  the  service  is  going  to  hell — (I'm  sure 
it's  no  fault  of  mine) — and  that  now  all  subordination  is 
destroyed,  and  that  upstarts  join  the  ship  who,  because 
they  have  a  five-pound  note  in  their  pocket,  are  allowed  to 
do  just  as  they  please.  He  said  he  was  determined  to 
uphold  the  service,  and  then  he  knocked  me  down — and 
when  I  got  up  again  he  told  me  that  I  could  stand  a  little 
more — and  then  he  took  out  his  colt,  and  said  he  was 
determined  to  ride  the  high  horse — and  that  there  should 
be  no  Equality  Jack  in  future." 

"  Well,"  replied  Jack. 

"  And  then  he  colted  me  for  half  an  hour,  and  that's 
all." 

"By  de  soul  of  my  fader,  but  it  all  for  true,  Massa  Easy 
— he  larrup  um,  sure  enough — all  for  noteing,  bad  luck  to 
him — I  tink,"  continued  Mesty,  "  he  hab  debelish  bad 
memory — and  he  want  a  little  more  of  Equality  Jack." 

**  And  he  shall  have  it  too,"  replied  our  hero  j  "  why 
it's  against  the  articles  of  war,  *  all  quarrelling,  fighting, 
&c.'  I  say,  Mr  Gossett,  have  you  got  the  spirit  of  a 
louse  ? " 

"  Yes,"  replied  Gossett. 

"  Well,  then,  will  you  do  what  I  tell  you  next  time, 
and  trust  to  me  for  protection  .''  " 

"  I  don't  care  what  I  do,"  replied  the  boy,  "  if  you  will 
back  me  against  the  cowardly  tyrant  ? " 

"Do  you  refer  to  me  .'"'  cried  Vigors,  who  had  stopped 
at  the  door  of  the  berth. 

'*  Say  yes,"  said  Jack. 

*•  Yes,  I  do,"  cried  Gossett. 


86  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  You  do,  do  you  ? — well,  then,  my  chick,  I  must 
trouble  you  with  a  little  more  of  this,"  said  Vigors, 
drawing  out  his  colt. 

"  I  think  that  you  had  better  not,  Mr  Vigors,"  observed 
Jack. 

"  Mind  your  own  business,  if  you  please,"  returned 
Vigors,  not  much  liking  the  interference.  "I  am  not 
addressing  my  conversation  to  you,  and  I  will  thank  you 
never  to  interfere  with  me.  I  presume  I  have  a  right  to 
choose  my  own  acquaintance,  and,  depend  upon  it,  it  will 
not  be  that  of  a  leveller." 

"  All  that  is  at  your  pleasure,  Mr  Vigors,"  replied  Jack  y 
**  you  have  a  right  to  choose  your  own  acquaintance,  and 
so  have  I  a  right  to  choose  my  own  friends,  and,  further, 
to  support  them.     That  lad  is  my  friend,  Mr  Vigors." 

"  Then,"  replied  Vigors,  who  could  not  help  bullying 
even  at  the  risk  of  another  combat  which  he  probably 
intended  to  stand,  "I  shall  take  the  liberty  of  giving 
your  friend  a  thrashing ; "  and  he  suited  the  action  to  the 
word. 

"Then  I  shall  take  the  liberty  to  defend  my  friend," 
replied  Jack;  "and  as  you  call  me  a  leveller,  I'll  try  if  I 
may  not  deserve  the  name " — whereupon  Jack  placed  a 
blow  so  well  under  the  ear,  that  Mr  Vigors  dropped  on 
the  deck,  and  was  not  in  a  condition  to  come  to  the 
scratch,  even  if  he  had  been  inclined.  "  And  now, 
youngster,"  said  Jack,  wresting  the  colt  out  of  Vigors' 
hand,  "do  as  I  bid  you — give  him  a  good  coking — if 
you   don't  I'll  thrash  you." 

Gossett  required  no  second  threat ; — the  pleasure  of 
thrashing  his  enemy,  if  only  for  once,  was  quite  enough — 
and  he  laid  well  on.  Jack  with  his  fists  doubled  ready  to 
protect  him  if  there  was  a  show  of  resistance,  but  Vigors 
was  half  stupefied  with  the  blow  under  the  ear,  and  quite 
cowed ;  he  took  his  thrashing  in  the  most  pensive 
manner. 

"  That  will  do,"  said  Jack  j  "  and  now  do  not  be  afraid, 
Gossett  J  the  very  first  time  he  offers  to  strike  you  when  I 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  87 

am  not  present,  I  will  pay  him  off  for  it  as  soon  as  you 
tell  me.     I  won't  be  called  Equality  Jack  for  nothing." 

When  JollifFe,  who  heard  of  this,  met  our  hero  alone, 
he  said  to  him,  "Take  my  advice,  boy,  and  do  not  in 
future  fight  the  battles  of  others,  you'll  find  very  soon 
that  you  will  have  enough  to  do  to  fight  your  own." 

Whereupon  Jack  argued  the  point  for  half  an  hour,  and 
then  they  separated.  But  Mr  Jolliffe  was  right.  Jack 
began  to  find  himself  constantly  in  hot  water,  and  the 
captain  and  first  lieutenant,  although  they  did  not  really 
withdraw  their  protection,  thought  it  high  time  that  Jack 
should  find  out  that,  on  board  a  man-of-war,  everybody 
and  everything  must  find  its  level. 

There  was  on  board  of  his  Majesty's  sloop  Harpy,  a 
man  of  the  name  of  Easthupp,  who  did  the  duty  of  purser's 
steward ;  this  was  the  second  ship  that  he  had  served  in : 
in  the  former  he  had  been  sent  with  a  draft  of  men  from 
the  Tender  lying  off  the  Tower.  How  he  had  come  into 
the  service  was  not  known  in  the  present  ship ;  but  the 
fact  was,  that  he  had  been  one  of  the  swell  mob — and  had 
been  sent  on  board  the  Tender  with  a  letter  of  recom- 
mendation from  the  magistrates  to  Captain  Crouch.  He 
was  a  cockney  by  birth,  for  he  had  been  left  at  the  work- 
house of  St  Mary  Axe,  where  he  had  been  taught  to  read 
and  write,  and  had  afterwards  made  his  escape.  He  joined 
the  juvenile  thieves  of  the  metropolis,  had  been  sent  to 
Bridewell,  obtained  his  liberty,  and  by  degrees  had  risen 
from  petty  thieving  of  goods  exposed  outside  of  the  shops 
and  market-stalls,  to  the  higher  class  of  gentleman  pick- 
pockets. His  appearance  was  somewhat  genteel,  with  a 
bullying  sort  of  an  impudent  air,  which  is  mistaken  for 
fashion  by  those  who  know  no  better.  A  remarkable 
neat  dresser,  for  that  was  part  of  his  profession  ;  a  very 
plausible  manner  and  address  ;  a  great  fluency  of  language, 
although  he  clipped  the  king's  English  j  and,  as  he  had 
suffered  more  than  once  by  the  law,  it  is  not  to  be  wondered 
at,  that  he  was,  as  he  called  himself,  a  hout-and-hout  radical. 
During  the  latter  part  of  his  service,  in  his  last  ship,  he  had 


S8  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

been  employed  under  the  purser's  steward,  and  having 
offered  himself  in  this  capacity  to  the  purser  of  H.M. 
sloop  Harpy,  with  one  or  two  forged  certificates,  he  had 
been  accepted. 

Now,  when  Mr  Easthupp  heard  of  Jack's  opinion,  he 
wished  to  cultivate  his  acquaintance,  and  with  a  bow  and  a 
flourish,  introduced  himself  before  they  arrived  at  Gibraltar; 
but  our  hero  took  an  immediate  dislike  to  this  fellow  from 
his  excessive  and  impertinent  familiarity. 

Jack  knew  a  gentleman  when  he  met  one,  and  did  not 
choose  to  be  a  companion  to  a  man  beneath  him  in  every 
way,  but  who,  upon  the  strength  of  Jack's  liberal  opinions, 
presumed  to  be  his  equal.  Jack's  equality  did  not  go  so 
far  as  that ;  in  theory  it  was  all  very  well,  but  in  practice 
it  was  only  when  it  suited  his  own  purpose. 

But  the  purser's  steward  was  not  to  be  checked — a  man 
who  has  belonged  to  the  swell  mob  is  not  easily  repulsed ; 
and,  although  Jack  would  plainly  show  him  that  his 
company  was  not  agreeable,  Easthupp  would  constantly 
accost  him  familiarly  on  the  forecastle  and  lower  deck, 
with  his  arms  folded,  and  with  an  air  almost  amounting  to 
familiarity.  At  last,  Jack  told  him  to  go  about  his  business 
and  not  presume  to  talk  to  him ;  whereupon  Easthupp 
rejoined,  and  after  an  exchange  of  hard  words,  it  ended  by 
Jack  kicking  Mr  Easthupp,  as  he  called  himself,  down  the 
after-lower-deck  hatchway.  This  was  but  a  sorry  specimen 
of  Jack's  equality — and  Mr  Easthupp,  who  considered  that 
his  honour  had  been  compromised,  went  up  to  the  captain 
on  the  quarter-deck  and  lodged  his  complaint — whereupon 
Captain  Wilson  desired  that  Mr  Easy  might  be  summoned. 

As  soon  as  Jack  made  his  appearance,  Captain  Wilson 
called  to  Easthupp.  "  Now,  purser's  steward,  what  is  this 
you  have  to  say  ?  " 

"  If  you  please.  Captain  Vilson,  I  am  wery  sorry  to  be 
obliged  to  make  hany  complaint  of  hany  hofficer,  but  this 
Mr  Heasy  thought  proper  to  make  use  of  language  quite 
hunbecoming  of  a  gentleman,  and  then  to  kick  me  as  I 
vent  down  the  atchvay." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  89 

"■  Well,  Mr  Easy,  is  this  true  ?" 

"  Yes,  sir,"  replied  Jack ;  "  I  have  several  times  told 
the  fellow  not  to  address  himself  to  me,  and  he  will.  I 
did  tell  him  he  was  a  radical  blackguard,  and  I  did  kick 
him  down  the  hatchway." 

*'  You  told  him  he  was  a  radical  blackguard,  Mr  Easy  .?  " 

"  Yes,  sir,  he  comes  bothering  me  about  his  republic,  and 
asserting  that  we  have  no  want  of  a  king  and  aristocracy." 

Captain  Wilson  looked  significantly  at  Mr  Sawbridge. 

"  I  certainly  did  hofFer  my  political  opinions.  Captain 
Vilson ;  but  you  must  be  avare  that  ve  hall  ave  an  hequal 
stake  in  the  country — and  it's  a  Hinglishman's  birthright." 

"  I'm  not  aware  what  your  stake  in  the  country  may  be, 
Mr  Easthupp,"  observed  Captain  Wilson,  "  but  I  think 
that,  if  you  used  such  expressions,  Mr  Easy  was  fully 
warranted  in  telling  you  his  opinion." 

"  I  ham  villing,  Captain  Vilson,  to  make  hany  hallowance 
for  the  eat  of  political  discussion — but  that  is  not  hall  that 
I  ave  to  complain  hof.  Mr  Heasy  thought  proper  to.  say 
that  I  was  a  swindler  and  a  liar." 

"  Did  you  make  use  of  those  expressions,  Mr  Easy  ? " 

•*  Yes,  sir,  he  did,"  continued  the  steward  j  "  and,  more- 
over, told  me  not  to  cheat  the  men,  and  not  to  cheat  my 
master,  the  purser.  Now,  Captain  Vilson,  is  it  not  true 
that  I  am  in  a  wery  hostensible  sitevation  ?  but  I  flatter 
myself  that  I  ave  been  veil  edecated,  and  vos  wonce 
moving  in  a  wery  different  society — misfortains  vill  appin 
to  us  hall,  and  I  feel  my  character  has  been  severely 
injured  by  such  impertations ; "  whereupon  Mr  Easthupp 
took  out  his  handkerchief,  flourished,  and  blew  his  nose. 
*'  I  told  Mr  Heasy,  that  I  considered  myself  quite  as  much 
of  a  gentleman  as  himself,  and  at  hall  hewents  did  not  keep 
company  with  a  black  feller  (Mr  Heasy  will  hunderstand  the 
insinevation) ;  vereupon  Mr  Heasy,  as  I  before  said,  your 
vorship,  I  mean  you.  Captain  Vilson,  thought  proper  to 
kick  me  down  the  atchvay." 

"  Very  well,  steward,  I  have  heard  your  complaint,  and 
now  you  may  go." 


90  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

Mr  Easthupp  took  his  hat  off  with  an  air,  made  his  bow, 
and  went  down  the  main  ladder. 

"  Mr  Easy,"  said  Captain  Wilson,  "  you  must  be  aware 
that  by  the  regulations  of  the  service  by  which  we  are  all 
equally  bound,  it  is  not  permitted  that  any  officer  shall 
take  the  law  into  his  own  hands.  Now,  although  I  do  not 
consider  it  necessary  to  make  any  remark  as  to  your  calling 
the  man  a  radical  blackguard,  for  I  consider  his  impertinent 
intrusion  of  his  opinions  deserved  it,  still  you  have  no  right 
to  attack  any  man's  character  without  grounds — and  as 
that  man  is  in  an  office  of  trust,  you  were  not  at  all 
warranted  in  asserting  that  he  was  a  cheat.  Will  you 
explain  to  me  why  you  made  use  of  such  language  ?  " 

Now  our  hero  had  no  proofs  against  the  man ;  he  had 
nothing  to  offer  in  extenuation,  until  he  recollected,  all  at 
once,  the  reason  assigned  by  the  captain  for  the  language 
used  by  Mr  Sawbridge.  Jack  had  the  wit  to  perceive 
that  it  would  hit  home,  so  he  replied,  very  quietly  and 
respectfully  : 

"  If  you  please,  Captain  Wilson,  that  was  all  zeal." 

**  Zeal,  Mr  Easy  ?  I  think  it  but  a  bad  excuse.  But 
pray,  then,  why  did  you  kick  the  man  down  the  hatchway  ? 
— you  must  have  known  that  that  was  contrary  to  the 
rules  of  the  service." 

"  Yes,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  demurely ;  **  but  that  was  all 
zeal,  too." 

"  Then  allow  me  to  say,"  replied  Captain  Wilson,  biting 
his  lips,  "  that  I  think  that  your  zeal  has  in  this  instance 
been  very  much  misplaced,  and  I  trust  you  will  not  show 
so  much  again." 

"  And  yet,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  aware  that  he  was  giving 
the  captain  a  hard  hit,  and  therefore  looked  proportionally 
humble,  "  we  should  do  nothing  in  the  service  without  it 
— and  I  trust  one  day,  as  you  told  me,  to  become  a  very 
zealous  officer." 

"  I  trust  so,  too,  Mr  Easy,"  replied  the  captain.  "  There, 
you  may  go  now,  and  let  me  hear  no  more  of  kicking 
people  down  the  hatchway.   That  sort  of  zeal  is  misplaced." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  91 

**  More  than  my  foot  was,  at  all  events,"  muttered  Jack, 
as  he  walked  off. 

Captain  Wilson,  as  soon  as  our  hero  disappeared,  laughed 
heartily,  and  told  Mr  Sawbridge,  "  he  had  ascribed  his 
language  to  our  hero  as  all  zeal.  He  has  very  cleverly 
given  me  it  all  back  again ;  and  really,  Sawbridge,  as  it 
proves  how  weak  was  my  defence  of  you,  you  may  gain 
from  this  lesson." 

Sawbridge  thought  so,  too — but  both  agreed  that  Jack's 
rights  of  man  were  in  considerable  danger. 

The  day  before  the  ship  sailed,  the  captain  and  Mr 
Asper  dined  with  the  governor;  and  as  there  was  little 
more  to  do,  Mr  Sawbridge,  who  had  not  quitted  the  ship 
since  she  had  been  in  port,  and  had  some  few  purchases 
to  make,  left  her  In  the  afternoon  in  the  charge  of  Mr 
Smallsole,  the  master.  Now,  as  we  have  observed,  he 
was  Jack's  inveterate  enemy — indeed  Jack  had  already 
made  three,  Mr  Smallsole,  Mr  Biggs,  the  boatswain,  and 
Easthupp,  the  purser's  steward.  Mr  Smallsole  was  glad 
to  be  left  in  command,  as  he  hoped  to  have  an  opportunity 
of  punishing  our  hero,  who  certainly  laid  himself  not  a 
little  open  to  it. 

Like  all  those  who  are  seldom  in  command,  the  master 
was  proportionally  tyrannical  and  abusive — he  swore  at 
the  men,  made  them  do  the  duty  twice  and  thrice  over,  on 
the  pretence  that  it  was  not  smartly  done,  and  found  fault 
with  every  officer  remaining  on  board. 

"  Mr  Biggs — by  God,  sir,  you  seem  to  be  all  asleep 
forward.  I  suppose  you  think  that  you  are  to  do  nothing 
now  the  first  lieutenant  is  out  of  the  ship  ?  How  long  will 
it  be,  sir,  before  you  are  ready  to  sway  away  ? " 

"  By  de  holy  poker,  I  tink  he  sway  away  finely,  Massy 
Easy,"  observed  Mesty,  who  was  in  converse  with  our 
hero  on  the  forecastle. 

Mr  Smallsole's  violence  made  Mr  Biggs  violent,  which 
made  the  boatswain's  mate  violent — and  the  captain  of  the 
forecastle  violent  also ;  all  which  is  practically  exemplified 
by  philosophy  in  the  laws  of  motion,  communicated  from 


92  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

one  body  to  another ;  and  as  Mr  Smallsole  swore,  so  did 
the  boatswain  swear.  Also  the  boatswain's  mate,  the 
captain  of  the  forecastle,  and  all  the  men — showing  the 
force  of  example. 

Mr  Smallsole  came  forward. 

"  Damnation,  Mr  Biggs,  what  the  devil  are  you  about  ? 
Can't  you  move  here  ? " 

"  As  much  as  we  can,  sir,"  replied  the  boatswain, 
"lumbered  as  the  forecastle  is  with  idlers."  And  here 
Mr  Biggs  looked  at  our  hero  and  Mesty,  who  were 
standing  against  the  bulwark. 

"  What  are  you  doing  here,  sir  ? "  cried  Mr  Smallsole 
to  our  hero. 

'*  Nothing  at  all,  sir  ?  "  replied  Jack. 

"Then  I'll  give  you  something  to  do,  sir.  Go  up  to 
the  mast-head,  and  wait  there  till  I  call  you  down.  Come, 
sir,  I'll  show  you  the  way,"  continued  the  master,  walking 
aft.  •  Jack  followed  till  they  were  on  the  quarter-deck. 

"Now,  sir,  up  to  the  main-top  gallant  mast-head  ;  perch 
yourself  upon  the  cross-trees — up  with  you." 

"  What  am  I  to  go  up  there  for,  sir  ? "  inquired  Jack. 

"  For  punishment,  sir,"  replied  the  master. 

"  What  have  I  done,  sir .-'  " 

"  No  reply,  sir — up  with  you." 

"If  you  please,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  "  I  should  wish  to 
argue  this  point  a  little." 

"  Argue  the  point !  "  roared  Mr  Smallsole — "  By  Jove, 
I'll  teach  you  to  argue  the  point — away  with  you, 
sir." 

"  If  you  please,  sir,"  continued  Jack,  "  the  captain  told 
me  that  the  articles  of  war  were  the  rules  and  regulations 
by  which  everyone  in  the  service  was  to  be  guided.  Now, 
sir,"  said  Jack,  "  I  have  read  them  over  till  I  know  them 
by  heart,  and  there  is  not  one  word  of  mast-heading  in 
the  whole  of  them."  Here  Jack  took  the  articles  out  of 
his  pocket,  and  unfolded  them. 

"  Will  you  go  to  the  mast-head,  sir,  or  will  you  not  ? " 
said  Mr  Smallsole. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  93 

**  Will  you  show  me  the  mast-head  in  the  articles  of 
war,  sir  ?  "  replied  Jack ;  "  here  they  are." 

"  I  tell  you,  sir,  to  go  to  the  mast-head :  if  not,  I'll  be 
d-r-d  if  I  don't  hoist  you  up  in  a  bread-bag." 

"  There's  nothing  about  bread-bags  in  the  articles  of 
war,  sir,"  replied  Jack  ;  *'  but  I'll  tell  you  what  there  is, 
sir ; "  and  Jack  commenced  reading, — 

"  All  flag-officers,  and  all  persons  in  or  belonging  to 
his  Majesty's  ships  or  vessels  of  war,  being  guilty  of 
profane  oaths,  execrations,  drunkenness,  uncleanness,  or 
other  scandalous  actions,  in  derogation  of  God's  honour 
and  corruption  of  good  manners,  shall  incur  such  punish- 
ment as " 

**  Damnation,"  cried  the  master,  who  was  mad  with 
rage,  hearing  that  the  whole  ship's  company  were  laughing. 

"No,  sir,  not  damnation,"  replied  Jack,  ** that's  when 
he's  tried  above ;  but  according  to  the  nature  and  degree 
of  the  offence." 

"  Will  you  go  to  the  mast-head,  sir,  or  will  you  not  ?  " 

"  If  you  please,"  replied  Jack,  **  I'd  rather  not." 

*'  Then,  sir,  consider  yourself  under  an  arrest — I'll  try 
you  by  a  court-martial,  by  God.     Go  down  below,  sir." 

"With  the  greatest  pleasure,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  "that's 
all  right  and  according  to  the  articles  of  war,  which  are 
to  guide  us  all."  Jack  folded  up  his  articles  of  war, 
put  them  into  his  pocket,  and  went  down  into  the  berth. 

Soon  after  Jack  had  gone  down,  Jolliffe,  who  had 
heard  the  whole  of  the  altercation,  followed  him :  "  My 
lad,"  said  Jolliffe,  "I'm  sorry  for  all  this;  you  should 
have  gone  to  the  mast-head." 

"  I  should  like  to  argue  that  point  a  little,"  replied  Jack. 

"  Yes,  so  would  everybody  ;  but  if  that  were  permitted, 
the  service  would  be  at  a  stand-still — that  would  not 
do ; — you  must  obey  an  order  first,  and  then  complain 
afterwards,  if  the  order  is  unjust." 

"It  is  not  so  in  the  articles  of  war." 

"  But  it  is  so  in  the  service." 

"The  captain  told  me  that  the  articles  of  war  were 


94  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

the  guides  of  the  service,  and  we  were  all  equally  bound 
to  obey  them." 

"  Well,  but  allowing  that,  I  do  not  think  your  articles 
of  war  will  bear  you  out.  You  observe,  they  say  any 
officer,  mariner,  Sec,  guilty  of  disobedience  to  any  lawful 
command.     Now  are  you  not  guilty  under  that  article  ?  " 

*' That  remains  to  be  argued  still,"  replied  Jack.  "A 
lawful  command  means  an  order  established  by  law  j  now 
where  is  that  law  ? — besides,  the  captain  told  me  when 
I  kicked  that  blackguard  down  the  hatchway,  that  there 
was  only  the  captain  who  could  punish,  and  that  officers 
could  not  take  the  law  into  their  own  hands  j  why  then 
has  the  master  ? " 

"  His  doing  wrong  as  superior  officer  is  no  reason  why 
you  as  an  inferior  should  disobey  him.  If  that  were 
permitted, — if  every  order  were  to  be  cavilled  at,  and 
argued  upon,  as  just  or  unjust,  there  would  be  an  end 
of  all  discipline.  Besides,  recollect  that  in  the  service 
there  is  custom,  which  is  the  same  as  law." 

"  That  admits  of  a  little  argument,"  replied  Jack. 
"The  service  will  admit  of  none,  my  dear  boy:  re- 
collect that,  even  on  shore,  we  have  two  laws,  that 
which  is  written,  and  the  *  lex  non  scripta^  which  is 
custom ;  of  course  we  have  it  in  the  service,  for  the 
articles  of  war  cannot  provide  for  everything." 

"They  provide  a  court-martial  for  everything  though," 
replied  Jack. 

"  Yes,  with  death  or  dismissal  from  the  service — neither 
of  which  would  be  very  agreeable.  You  have  got  your- 
self into  a  scrape,  and  although  the  captain  is  evidently 
your  friend,  he  cannot  overlook  it :  fortunately,  it  is  with 
the  master,  which  is  of  less  consequence  than  with  the 
other  officers ;  but  still  you  will  have  to  submit,  for  the 
captain  cannot  overlook  it." 

"I'll  tell  you  what,  Jolliffe,"  replied  Jack,  "my  eyes 
now  begin  to  be  opened  to  a  great  many  things.  The 
captain  tells  me,  when  I  am  astonished  at  bad  language, 
that  it  is  all  zeal,  and  then  I  found  out  that  what  is  all 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  95 

zeal  in  a  superior  to  an  inferior,  is  insolence  when  reversed. 
He  tells  me,  that  the  articles  of  war  are  made  to  equally 
guide  us  all — the  master  breaks  what  is  positively  mentioned 
in  the  second  article  twenty  times  over,  and  goes  scot  free, 
while  I  am  to  be  punished  because  I  do  not  comply  with 
what  the  articles  do  not  mention.  How  was  I  to  know 
that  I  ought  to  go  to  the  mast-head  for  punishment  ? 
particularly  when  the  captain  tells  me  that  he  alone  is  to 
punish  in  the  ship.  If  I  obey  aa  order  in  opposition  to 
the  captain's  order,  is  not  that  as  bad  as  disobeying  the 
captain  ?  I  think  that  I  have  made  out  a  very  strong  case, 
and  my  arguments  are  not  to  be  confuted." 

"I  am  afraid  that  the  master  will  make  out  a  very 
strong  case,  and  that  your  arguments  will  never  be 
heard." 

"That  will  be  contrary  to  all  the  rules  of  justice." 

"  But  according  to  all  the  rules  of  service." 

*•  I  do  believe  that  I  am  a  great  fool,"  observed  Jack, 
after  a  pause.  "What  do  you  imagine  made  me  come  to 
sea,  JollifFe  ? " 

"  Because  you  did  not  know  when  you  were  well  off," 
replied  the  mate,  drily. 

"  That's  true  enough ;  but  my  reason  was,  because  I 
thought  I  should  find  that  equality  here  that  I  could  not 
find  on  shore." 

JollifFe  stared. 

"  My  dear  boy,  I  heard  you  say  that  you  obtained 
those  opinions  from  your  father ;  I  mean  no  disrespect  to 
him,  but  he  must  be  either  mad  or  foolish,  if  at  his  age 
he  has  not  discovered,  that  there  is  no  such  thing  in 
existence." 

"I  begin  to  think  so,"  replied  Jack;  "but  that  does 
not  prove  that  there  ought  not  to  be." 

"  I  beg  your  pardon ;  the  very  non-existence  proves 
that  it  ought  not  to  be — '  whatever  is,  is  right,' — you 
might  as  well  expect  to  find  perfect  happiness  or  per- 
fection in  the  individual.    Your  father  must  be  a  visionary." 

**  The  best  thing  that  I  can  do  is  to  go  home  again." 


96  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  No,  my  dear  Easy,  the  best  thing  that  you  can  do  is, 
to  stay  in  the  service,  for  it  will  soon  put  an  end  to  all 
such  nonsensical  ideas ;  and  it  will  make  you  a  clever, 
sensible  fellow.  The  service  is  a  rough,  but  a  good 
school,  where  everybody  finds  his  level, — not  the  level 
of  equality,  but  the  level  which  his  natural  talent  and 
acquirements  will  rise  or  sink  him  to,  in  proportion  as 
they  are  plus  or  minus.  It  is  a  noble  service,  but  has 
its  imperfections,  as  everything  in  this  world  must  have. 
I  have  little  reason  to  speak  in  its  favour,  as  far  as  I  am 
concerned,  for  it  has  been  hard  bread  to  me  j  but  there 
must  be  exceptions  in  every  rule.  Do  not  think  of 
quitting  the  service  until  you  have  given  it  a  fair  trial. 
I  am  aware  that  you  are  an  only  son,  and  your  father 
is  a  man  of  property,  and,  therefore,  in  the  common 
parlance  of  the  world,  you  are  independent ;  but,  believe 
me,  no  man,  however  rich,  is  independent,  unless  he  has 
a  profession,  and  you  will  find  no  better  than  this,  not- 
withstanding  " 

"What?" 

"  That  you  will  be,  most  certainly,  sent  to  the  mast- 
head to-morrow." 

"We'll  argue  that  point,"  replied  Jack j  "at  all  events, 
I  will  go  and  turn  in  to-night." 


Chapter  XIII 

In  which  our  hero  begins  to  act  and  think  for  himself. 

Whatever  may  have  been  Jack's  thoughts,  at  all  events 
they  did  not  spoil  his  rest.  He  possessed  in  himself  all 
the  materials  of  a  true  philosopher,  but  there  was  a  great 
deal  of  weeding  still  required.  JoUifFe's  arguments,  sensible 
as  they  were,  had  very  little  effect  upon  him  ;  for,  strange 
to  say,  it  is  much  more  easy  to  shake  a  man's  opinions 
when  he  is  wrong,  than  when  he  is  right ;  proving  that 
we  are  all  of  a  very  perverse  nature.     "  Well,"  thought 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  97 

Jack,  "  if  I  am  to  go  to  the  mast-head,  I  am,  that's  all; 
but  it  does  not  prove  that  my  arguments  are  not  good, 
only  that  they  will  not  be  listened  to;"  and  then  Jack 
shut  his  eyes,  and  in  a  few  minutes  was  fast  asleep. 

The  master  had  reported  to  the  first  lieutenant,  and 
the  first  lieutenant  to  the  captain,  when  he  came  on  board 
the  next  morning,  the  conduct  of  Mr  Easy,  who  was 
sent  for  in  the  cabin,  to  hear  if  he  had  anything  to  offer 
in  extenuation  of  his  offence.  Jack  made  an  oration, 
which  lasted  more  than  half  an  hour,  in  which  all  the 
arguments  he  had  brought  forward  to  Jolliffe  in  the 
preceding  chapter  were  entered  fully  into.  Mr  Jolliffe 
was  then  examined,  and  also  Mr  Smallsole  was  interro- 
gated :  after  which  the  captain  and  the  first  lieutenant 
were  left  alone. 

"Sawbridge,"  said  Captain  Wilson,  "How  true  it  is 
that  any  deviation  from  what  is  right  invariably  leads  us 
into  a  scrape.  I  have  done  wrong  :  wishing  to  get  this  boy 
out  of  his  father's  hands,  and  fearful  that  he  would  not 
join  the  ship,  and  imagining  him  to  be  by  no  means  the 
shrewd  fellow  that  he  is  in  reality,  I  represented  the  service 
in  a  much  more  favourable  light  than  I  should  have  done ; 
all  that  he  says  I  told  him  I  did  tell  him,  and  it  is  I  who 
really  led  the  boy  into  error.  Mr  Smallsole  has  behaved 
tyrannically  and  unjustly ;  he  punished  the  lad  for  no 
crime ;  so  that  between  the  master  and  me,  I  am  now  on 
the  horns  of  a  dilemma.  If  I  punish  the  boy,  I  feel  that  I 
am  punishing  him  more  for  my  own  fault  and  the  fault  of 
others,  than  his  own.  If  I  do  not  punish  him,  I  allow  a 
flagrant  and  open  violation  of  discipline  to  pass  uncensured, 
which  will  be  injurious  to  the  service." 

**  He  must  be  punished,  sir,"  replied  Sawbridge. 

"  Send  for  him,"  said  the  captain. 

Jack  made  his  appearance,  with  a  very  polite  bow. 

**  Mr  Easy,  as  you  suppose  that  the  articles  of  war  con- 
tained all  the  rules  and  regulations  of  the  service,  I  take  it 
for  granted  that  you  have  erred  through  ignorance.  But 
recollect,  that  although  you  have  erred  through  ignorance^ 

E  G 


pS  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

such  a  violation  of  discipline,  if  passed  unnoticed,  will  have 
a  very  injurious  effect  with  the  men,  whose  obedience  is 
enforced  by  the  example  shown  to  them  by  the  officers. 
I  feel  so  convinced  of  your  zeal,  which  you  showed  the 
other  day  in  the  case  of  Easthupp,  that  I  am  sure  you  will 
see  the  propriety  of  my  proving  to  the  men,  by  punishing 
you,  that  discipline  must  be  enforced,  and  I  shall  therefore 
send  for  you  on  the  quarter-deck,  and  order  you  to  go  to 
the  mast-head  in  presence  of  the  ship's  company,  as  it  was 
in  presence  of  the  ship's  company  that  you  refused." 

**  With  the  greatest  pleasure,  Captain  Wilson,"  replied 
Jack. 

"  And  in  future,  Mr  Easy,  although  I  shall  ever  set  my 
face  against  it,  recollect  that  if  any  officer  punishes  you, 
and  you  imagine  that  you  are  unfairly  treated,  you  will 
submit  to  the  punishment,  and  then  apply  to  me  for 
redress." 

"  Certainly,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  '•  now  that  I  am  aware  of 
your  wishes." 

"  You  will  oblige  me,  Mr  Easy,  by  going  on  the  quarter- 
deck, and  wait  there  till  I  come  up." 

Jack  made  his  best  bow,  and  exit. 

"  Old  Jolliffe  told  me  that  I  should  have  to  go,"  said 
Jack  to  himself,  **  and  he  was  right,  so  far ;  but  hang  me 
if  I  hadn't  the  best  of  the  argument,  and  that's  all  I  care 
about." 

Captain  Wilson  sent  for  the  master,  and  reprimanded 
him  for  his  oppression,  as  it  was  evident  that  there  was  no 
ground  for  punishment,  and  he  forbade  him  ever  to  mast- 
head another  midshipman,  but  to  report  his  conduct  to  the 
first  lieutenant  or  himself.  He  then  proceeded  to  the 
quarter-deck,  and,  calling  for  Mr  Easy,  gave  him  what 
appeared  to  be  a  very  severe  reprimand,  which  Jack  looked 
upon  very  quietly,  because  it  was  all  zeal  on  the  captain's 
part  to  give  it,  and  all  zeal  on  his  own  to  take  it.  Our 
hero  was  then  ordered  up  to  the  mast-head. 

Jack  took  off  his  hat,  and  took  three  or  four  steps,  in 
obedience  to  the  order — and  then  returned  and  made  his 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  99 

best  bow — inquired  of  Captain  Wilson  whether  he  wished 
him  to  go  to  the  fore  or  to  the  main-mast  head. 

"To  the  main,  Mr  Easy,"  replied  the  captain,  biting 
his  lips. 

Jack  ascended  three  spokes  of  the  Jacob's  ladder,  when 
he  again  stopped,  and  took  off  his  hat. 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,  Captain  "Wilson — you  have  not  in- 
formed me  whether  it  was  your  wish  that  I  should  go  to 
the  topmast,  or  the  top-gallant  cross-trees." 

"  To  the  top-gallant  cross-trees,  Mr  Easy,"  replied  the 
captain. 

Jack  ascended,  taking  it  very  easy;  he  stopped  at  the 
main-top  for  breath ;  at  the  main-topmast  head,  to  look 
about  him ;  and,  at  last,  gained  the  spot  agreed  upon, 
where  he  seated  himself,  and,  taking  out  the  articles  of 
war,  commenced  them  again  to  ascertain  whether  he  could 
not  have  strengthened  his  arguments.  He  had  not,  how- 
ever, read  through  the  seventh  article  before  the  hands 
were  turned  up — *'  Up  anchor  !  "  and  Mr  Sawbridge  called, 
"  All  hands  down  from  aloft !  "  Jack  took  the  hint,  folded 
up  his  documents,  and  came  down  as  leisurely  as  he  went 
up.     Jack  was  a  much  better  philosopher  than  his  father. 

The  Harpy  was  soon  under  way,  and  made  all  sail,  steer- 
ing for  Cape  de  Gatte,  where  Captain  Wilson  hoped  to 
pick  up  a  Spanish  vessel  or  two,  on  his  way  to  Toulon  to 
receive  orders  of  the  admiral. 

A  succession  of  light  breezes  and  calms  rendered  the 
passage  very  tedious  ;  but  the  boats  were  constantly  out, 
chasing  the  vessels  along  shore,  and  Jack  usually  asked  to 
be  employed  on  this  service ;  indeed,  although  so  short  a 
time  afloat,  he  was,  from  his  age  and  strength,  one  of  the 
most  effective  midshipmen,  and  to  be  trusted,  provided  a 
whim  did  not  come  into  his  head ;  but  hitherto  Jack  had 
always  been  under  orders,  and  had  always  acquitted  him- 
self very  well. 

When  the  Harpy  was  at  Tarragona,  it  so  happened  that 
there  were  several  cases  of  dysentery  in  the  ship,  and  Mr 
Asper  and  Mr  Joliiffe  were  two  of  those  who  were  suffer- 


loo  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

ing.  This  reduced  the  number  of  officers ;  and,  at  the 
same  time,  they  had  received  information  from  the  men  of 
a  fishing-boat,  who,  to  obtain  their  own  release,  had  given 
the  intelligence,  that  a  small  convoy  was  coming  down  from 
Rosas  as  soon  as  the  wind  was  fair,  under  the  protection 
of  two  gun-boats. 

Captain  Wilson  kept  well  off-shore  until  the  wind 
changed,  and  then,  allowing  for  the  time  that  the  vessels 
would  take  to  run  down  the  distance  between  Tarragona 
and  Rosas,  steered  in  the  night  to  intercept  them ;  but  it 
again  fell  calm,  and  the  boats  were  therefore  hoisted  out, 
with  directions  to  proceed  along  the  shore,  as  it  was  sup- 
posed that  the  vessels  could  not  now  be  far  distant.  Mr 
Sawbridge  had  the  command  of  the  expedition  in  the  pin- 
nace ;  the  first  cutter  was  in  charge  of  the  gunner,  Mr 
Minus  ;  and,  as  the  other  officers  were  sick,  Mr  Sawbridge, 
who  liked  Jack  more  and  more  every  day,  at  his  particular 
request  gave  him  the  command  of  the  second  cutter.  As 
soon  as  he  heard  of  it,  Mesty  declared  to  our  hero  that  he 
would  go  with  him ;  but  without  permission  that  was  not 
possible.  Jack  obtained  leave  for  Mesty  to  go  in  lieu  of  a 
marine ;  there  were  many  men  sick  of  the  dysentery,  and 
Mr  Sawbridge  was  not  sorry  to  take  an  idler  out  of  the 
ship  instead  of  a  working  man,  especially  as  Mesty  was 
known  to  be  a  good  hand. 

It  was  ten  o'clock  at  night  when  the  boats  quitted  the 
ship ;  and,  as  it  was  possible  that  they  might  not  return 
till  late  the  next  day,  one  day's  biscuit  and  rum  were  put 
on  board  each,  that  the  crews  might  not  suffer  from  ex- 
haustion. The  boats  pulled  in-shore,  and  then  coasted  for 
three  hours  without  seeing  anything :  the  night  was  fine 
overhead,  but  there  was  no  moon.  It  still  continued  calm, 
and  the  men  began  to  feel  fatigued,  when,  just  as  they  were 
within  a  mile  of  a  low  point,  they  perceived  the  convoy 
over  the  land,  coming  down  with  their  sails  squared,  before 
a  light  breeze. 

Mr  Sawbridge  immediately  ordered  the  boats  to  lie  upon 
their  oars,  awaiting  their  coming,  and  arranging  for  the  attack. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  loi 

The  white  lateen  sails  of  the  gun-boat  in  advance  were 
now  plainly  distinguishable  from  the  rest,  which  were  all 
huddled  together  in  her  wake.  Down  she  came  like  a 
beautiful  swan  in  the  water,  her  sails  just  filled  with  the 
wind,  and  running  about  three  knots  an  hour.  Mr  SaM'- 
bridge  kept  her  three  masts  in  one,  that  they  might  not  be 
perceived,  and  winded  the  boats  with  their  heads  the  same 
way,  so  that  they  might  dash  on  board  of  her  with  a  few 
strokes  of  the  oars.  So  favourable  was  the  course  of  the 
gun-boat,  that  she  stood  right  between  the  launch  on  one 
bow,  and  the  two  cutters  on  the  other ;  and  they  were  not 
perceived  until  they  were  actually  alongside  ;  the  resistance 
was  trifling,  but  some  muskets  and  pistols  had  been  fired, 
and  the  alarm  was  given.  Mr  Sawbridge  took  possession, 
with  the  crew  of  the  launch,  and  brought  the  vessel  to  the 
wind,  as  he  perceived  that  at  the  alarm  all  the  convoy  had 
done  the  same,  directing  the  cutters  to  board  the  largest 
vessels,  and  secure  as  many  as  they  could,  while  he  would 
do  the  same  with  the  launch,  as  he  brought  them  to :  but 
the  other  gun-boat,  which  had  not  yet  been  seen,  and  had 
been  forgotten,  now  made  her  appearance,  and  came  down 
in  a  gallant  manner  to  the  support  of  her  comrade. 

Mr  Sawbridge  threw  half  his  men  into  the  launch,  as  she 
carried  a  heavy  carronade,  and  sent  her  to  assist  the  cutters, 
which  had  made  right  for  the  gun-boat.  A  smart  firing  of 
round  and  grape  was  opened  upon  the  boats,  which  con- 
tinued to  advance  upon  her ;  but  the  officer  commanding 
that  gun-boat,  finding  that  he  had  no  support  from  his 
consort,  and  concluding  that  she  had  been  captured,  hauled 
his  wind  again,  and  stood  out  in  the  offing.  Our  hero 
pulled  after  her,  although  he  could  not  see  the  other  boats  ; 
but  the  breeze  had  freshened,  and  all  pursuit  was  useless  : 
he  therefore  directed  his  course  to  the  convoy,  and  after 
a  hard  pull,  contrived  to  get  on  board  of  a  one-masted 
xebeque,  of  about  fifty  tons.  Mesty,  who  had  eyes  as 
sharp  as  a  needle,  had  observed  that,  when  the  alarm  was 
given,  several  of  the  convoy  had  not  rounded  the  point, 
and  he  therefore  proposed,  as  this  vessel  was  very  light. 


I02  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

that  they  should  make  short  tacks  with  her,  to  weather  the 
point,  as  if  they  were  escaping,  and  by  that  means  be  able, 
particularly  if  it  fell  calm  again,  to  capture  some  others. 
Jack  thought  this  advice  good.  The  convoy  who  had 
rounded  the  point  had  all  stood  out  to  seaward  with  the 
gun-boat,  and  had  now  a  fresh  breeze.  To  chase  them 
was  therefore  useless ;  and  the  only  chance  was  to  do  as 
Mesty  had  proposed.  He  therefore  stood  out  into  the 
breeze,  and,  after  half  an  hour,  tacked  in-shore,  and 
fetched  well  to  windward  of  the  low  point ;  but,  finding 
no  vessels,  he  stood  out  again.  Thus  had  he  made  three 
or  four  tacks,  and  had  gained,  perhaps,  six  or  seven  miles, 
when  he  perceived  signals  of  recall  made  to  leeward, 
enforced  with  guns. 

"  Mr  Sawbridge  wants  us  to  come  back,  Mesty." 

•'  Mr  Sawbridge  mind  him  own  business,"  replied  Mesty, 
**  we  nebber  take  all  dis  trubble  to  ply  to  windward  for 
noting." 

"  But,  Mesty,  we  must  obey  orders." 

"  Yes,  sar,  when  he  have  him  thumb  upon  you  ;  but 
now,  must  do  what  tink  most  proper.  By  de  powers, 
he  catch  me  'fore  I  go  back." 

"  But  we  shall  lose  the  ship." 

"  Find  her  again,  by-and-bye,  Massa  Easy." 

"  But  they  will  think  that  we  are  lost." 

"  So  much  the  better,  nebba  look  after  us,  Massa  Easy  ; 
I  guess  we  have  a  fine  cruise  anyhow.  Morrow  we  take 
large  vessel — make  sail,  take  more,  den  we  go  to 
Toulon." 

"  But  I  don't  know  my  way  to  Toulon ;  I  know  it  lies 
up  this  way,  and  that's  all." 

"Dat  enough,  what  you  want  more?  Massa  Easy, 
'pose  you  not  find  fleet,  fleet  soon  find  you.  By  God, 
nobody  nebba  lost  here.  Now,  Massa  Easy,  let  um  go 
'bout  'gain.  Somebody  else  burn  buscuit  and  boil  kettle 
to-morrow  for  de  gentlemen.  Murder  Irish  !  only  tink, 
Massa  Easy — I  boil  kettle,  and  prince  in  my  own 
country  !  " 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  103 

Easy  was  very  much  of  a  mind  with  Mesty  ;  **  for," 
argued  Jack,  "  if  I  go  back  now,  I  only  bring  a  small 
vessel  half-full  of  beans,  and  I  shall  be  ashamed  to  show 
my  face.  Now  it  is  true,  that  they  may  suppose  that  we 
have  been  sunk  by  the  fire  of  the  gun-boat.  Well,  what 
then  ?  they  have  a  gun-boat  to  show  for  their  night's  work, 
and  it  will  appear  that  there  was  harder  fighting  than  there 
has  been,  and  Mr  Sawbridge  may  benefit  by  it."  (Jack 
was  a  very  knowing  fellow  to  have  learnt  so  much  about 
the  service  already.)  **  Well,  and  when  they  discover 
that  we  are  not  lost,  how  glad  they  will  be  to  find  us, 
especially  if  we  bring  some  prizes — which  I  will  do,  or  I'll 
not  go  back  again.  It's  not  often  that  one  gets  a  command 
before  being  two  months  at  sea,  and,  hang  me,  now  I've 
got  it  if  I  won't  keep  it  j  and  Mr  Smallsole  may  mast-head 
whom  he  pleases.  I'm  sorry  for  poor  Gossett,  though  ;  if 
Vigors  supposes  me  dead,  how  he  will  murder  the  poor 
little  fellow — however,  it  is  all  for  the  good  of  the  service, 
and  I'll  revenge  him  when  I  come  back.  Hang  me  if  I 
won't  take  a  cruise." 

"  I  talk  to  the  men,  they  say  they  all  tick  to  you  like 
leech.  Now  dat  job  settled,  I  tink  we  better  go  'bout 
again." 

A  short  time  after  this  decision  on  the  part  of  our  hero, 
the  day  broke  :  Jack  first  looked  to  leeward,  and  perceived 
the  gun-boat  and  convoy  standing  in  for  the  shore  about 
ten  miles  distant,  followed  by  the  Harpy,  under  all  sail. 
He  could  also  perceive  the  captured  gun-boat  lying-to  in- 
shore to  prevent  their  escape. 

**  Harpy  hab  um  all,  by  Gosh ! "  cried  Mesty  ;  "  I  ab 
notion  dat  she  soon  settle  um  hash." 

They  were  so  busy  looking  at  the  Harpy  and  the  convoy 
that,  for  some  time,  they  quite  forgot  to  look  to  windward. 
At  last  Mesty  turned  his  eyes  that  way. 

"  Dam  um,  I  see  right  last  night  j  look,  Massa  Easy — 
one  chip,  one  brig  tree  lateen — dem  for  us.  By  de  power, 
but  we  make  bon  prize  to-night." 

The  vessels  found  out  by  Mesty  were  not  above  three 


I  ©4  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

miles  to  windward  ;  they  were  under  all  sail,  beating  up  for 
the  protection  of  a  battery,  not  far  distant 

"  Now,  Massa,  suppose  they  see  our  boat,  dey  tink 
something ;  keep  boat  alongside,  and  shift  her  when  we 
go  'bout  every  time  :  better  not  sail  so  fast  now — keep 
further  off  till  they  drop  anchor  for  de  night ;  and  den, 
when  it  dark,  we  take  'em." 

All  Mesty's  advice  was  good,  with  the  exception  perhaps 
of  advising  our  hero  how  to  disobey  orders  and  take  a 
cruise.  To  prevent  the  vessel  from  approaching  too  near 
the  others,  and  at  the  same  time  to  let  her  have  the 
appearance  of  doing  her  best,  a  sail  was  towed  overboard 
under  the  bows,  and  after  that  they  watched  the  motions 
of  the  Harpy. 

The  distance  was  too  great  to  distinguish  very  clearly, 
but  Mesty  shinned  up  the  mast  of  the  vessel,  and  reported 
progress. 

"  By  Jesus,  dare  one  gun — two  gun — go  it,  Harpy. 
"Won't  she  ab  um,  sure  enough.  Now  gun-boat  fire — dat 
our  gun-boat — no,  dat  not  ours.  Now  our  gun-boat  fire 
— dat  pretty — fire  away.  Ah,  now  de  Harpy  cum  up. 
All  'mung  'em.  Bung,  bung,  bung — rattle  de  grape,  by 
gosh.  I  ab  notion  de  Spaniard  is  very  pretty  considerable 
trouble  just  now,  anyhow.  All  hove-to,  so  help  me  gosh 
— not  more  firing ;  Harpy  take  um  all — dare  gun-boat 
hove-to,  she  strike  um  colours.  By  all  powers,  but 
suppose  dey  tink  we  no  share  prize-money — they  find  it 
not  little  mistake.  Now,  my  lads,  it  all  over,  and,"  con- 
tinued Mesty,  sliding  down  the  mast,  **  I  tink  you  better 
not  show  yourself  too  much  ;  only  two  men  stay  on  deck, 
and  dem  two  take  off  um  jackets. 

Mesty's  report  was  correct ;  the  Harpy  had  captured  the 
other  gun-boat,  and  the  whole  convoy.  The  only  draw- 
back to  their  good  fortune  was  the  disappearance  of  Mr 
Easy  and  the  cutter :  it  was  supposed  that  a  shot  from  the 
gun-boat  must  have  sunk  her,  and  that  the  whole  crew 
were  drowned.  Captain  Wilson  and  Mr  Sawbridge 
seriously  regretted  the  loss  of  our  hero,  as  they  thought 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  105 

that  he  would  have  turned  out  a  shining  character  as  soon 
as  he  had  sown  his  wild  oats  ;  so  did  Mr  Asper,  because 
our  hero's  purse  went  with  him ;  so  did  JollifFe,  because 
he  had  taken  an  affection  for  him ;  so  did  little  Gossett, 
because  he  anticipated  no  mercy  from  Vigors.  On  the 
other  hand,  there  were  some  who  were  glad  that  he  was 
gone ;  and  as  for  the  ship's  company  in  general,  they 
lamented  the  loss  of  the  poor  cutter's  crew  for  twenty-four 
hours,  which,  in  a  man-of-war,  is  a  very  long  while,  and 
then  they  thought  no  more  about  them.  We  must 
leave  the  Harpy  to  make  the  best  of  her  way  to  Toulon, 
and  now  follow  our  hero. 

The  cutter's  crew  knew  very  well  that  Jack  was  acting 
contrary  to  orders,  but  anything  was  to  them  a  change  from 
the  monotony  of  a  man-of-war,  and  they,  as  well  as  Mesty, 
highly  approved  of  a  holiday. 

It  was,  however,  necessary  that  they  should  soon  proceed 
to  business,  for  they  had  but  their  allowance  of  bread  and 
grog  for  one  day,  and  in  the  vessel  they  found  nothing 
except  a  few  heads  of  garlic,  for  the  Spaniards  coasting 
down  shore  had  purchased  their  provisions  as  they  required 
them.  There  were  only  three  prisoners  on  board,  and 
they  had  been  put  down  in  the  hold  among  the  beans ;  a 
bag  of  which  had  been  roused  on  deck,  and  a  part  put 
into  the  kettle  to  make  soup.  Jack  did  not  much  admire 
the  fare  of  the  first  day — it  was  bean-soup  for  breakfast, 
bean-soup  for  dinner,  and  if  you  felt  hungry  during  the 
intervals  it  was  still  bean-soup,  and  nothing  else. 

One  of  the  men  could  speak  a  little  Lingua  Franca,  and 
the  prisoners  were  interrogated  as  to  the  vessels  to  wind- 
ward. The  ship  was  stated  to  be  valuable,  and  also  one 
of  the  brigs.  The  ship  carried  guns,  and  that  was  all  that 
they  knew  about  them.  As  the  sun  went  down  the  vessels 
dropped  their  anchors  off  the  battery.  The  breeze 
continued  light,  and  the  vessel  which  contained  Jack  and 
his  fortunes  was  about  four  miles  to  leeward.  As  for  the 
Harpy,  they  had  long  lost  sight  of  her,  and  it  was  now 
time  to  proceed  to  some  arrangement.     As  soon  as  it  was 


io6  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

dark.  Jack  turned  his  hands  up,  and  made  a  very  long 
speech.  He  pointed  out  to  the  men  that  his  zeal  had 
induced  him  not  to  return  to  the  ship  until  he  had  brought 
something  with  him  worth  having — that  they  had  had 
nothing  but  beans  to  eat  during  the  whole  day,  which  was 
anything  but  agreeable,  and  that,  therefore,  it  was 
absolutely  necessary  that  they  should  better  their  condition  : 
that  there  was  a  large  ship  not  four  miles  off,  and  that  he 
intended  to  take  her ;  and  as  soon  as  he  had  taken  her  he 
intended  to  take  some  more ;  that  he  trusted  to  their  zeal 
to  support  him  on  this  occasion,  and  that  he  expected  to  do 
a  great  deal  during  the  cruise.  He  pointed  out  to  them, 
that  they  must  consider  themselves  as  on  board  of  a  man-of- 
war,  and  be  guided  by  the  articles  of  war,  which  were 
written  for  them  all — and  that  in  case  they  forgot  them,  he 
had  a  copy  in  his  pocket,  which  he  would  read  to  them  to- 
morrow morning,  as  soon  as  they  were  comfortably  settled 
on  board  of  the  ship.  He  then  appointed  Mesty  as  first 
lieutenant ;  the  marine  as  sergeant  ;  the  coxswain  as 
boatswain ;  two  men  as  midshipmen  to  keep  watch ;  two 
others  as  boatswain's  mates,  leaving  two  more  for  the  ship's 
company,  who  were  divided  into  the  larboard  and  starboard 
watch.  The  cutter's  crew  were  perfectly  content  with 
Jack's  speech,  and  their  brevet  rank,  and  after  that,  they 
commenced  a  more  important  topic,  which  was,  how  they 
were  to  take  the  ship.  After  some  discussion,  Mesty's  advice 
was  approved  of;  which  was,  that  they  should  anchor  not 
far  ahead  of  the  ship,  and  wait  till  about  two  o'clock  in  the 
morning,  when  they  would  drop  silently  down  upon  her  in 
the  cutter,  and  take  possession. 

About  nine  o'clock  the  vessel  was  anchored  as  they 
proposed,  and  Jack  was  a  little  astonished  to  find  that  the 
ship  was  much  larger  than  he  had  any  idea  of;  for, 
although  polacca-rigged,  she  was  nearly  the  same  tonnage 
as  the  Harpy.  The  Spanish  prisoners  were  first  tied  hand 
and  foot,  and  laid  upon  the  beans,  that  they  might  give  no 
alarm,  the  sails  were  furled  and  all  was  kept  quiet. 

On  board  of  the  ship,  on  the  contrary,  there  was  noise 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  107 

and  revelry ;  and  about  half-past  ten  a  boat  was  seen  to 
leave  her  and  pull  for  the  shore ;  after  which,  the  noise 
gradually  ceased,  the  lights  one  by  one  disappeared,  and 
then  all  was  silent. 

"  What  do  you  think,  Mesty  ? "  said  Jack ;  "do  you 
think  we  shall  take  her  ?  " 

"It  is  take  her  you  mane ;  sure  enough  we'll  take  her : 
stop  a  bit — wait  till  um  all  fast  asleep." 

About  twelve  o'clock  there  came  on  a  mizzling  heavy 
rain,  which  was  very  favourable  for  our  hero's  operations. 
But  as  it  promised  soon  to  clear  up,  by  Mesty's  advice 
they  did  not  delay  any  longer.  They  crept  softly  into  the 
boat,  and  with  two  oars  to  steer  her,  dropped  under  the 
bows  of  the  vessel,  climbed  up  the  fore  chains,  and  found 
the  deck  empty.  *'  Take  care  not  fire  pistol,"  said  Mesty 
to  the  men,  as  they  came  up,  putting  his  finger  to  their 
lips  to  impress  them  with  the  necessity  of  silence,  for 
Mesty  had  been  an  African  warrior,  and  knew  the  advan- 
tage of  surprise.  All  the  men  being  on  deck,  and  the 
boat  made  fast.  Jack  and  Mesty  led  the  way  aft ;  not  a 
soul  was  to  be  seen :  indeed,  it  was  too  dark  to  see 
anybody  unless  they  were  walking  the  deck.  The 
companion-hatch  was  secured,  and  the  gratings  laid  on  the 
after-hatchways,  and  then  they  went  aft  to  the  binnacle 
again,  where  there  was  a  light  burning.  Mesty  ordered 
two  of  the  men  to  go  forward  to  secure  the  hatches,  and 
then  to  remain  there  on  guard — and  then  the  rest  of  the 
men  and  our  hero  consulted  at  the  wheel. 

**  By  the  power  we  ab  the  ship ! "  said  Mesty,  "  but 
must  manage  plenty  yet.  I  tink  der  some  d — n  lazy 
rascal  sleep  'tween  the  guns.  A  lilly  while  it  no  rain, 
and  den  we  see  better.     Now  keep  all  quiet." 

'*  There  must  be  a  great  many  men  in  this  ship,"  replied 
our  hero ;  "  she  is  very  large,  and  has  twelve  or  fourteen 
guns — how  shall  we  manage  to  secure  them  ? " 

"All  right,"  replied  Mesty,  "manage  all  dat  by-and- 
bye.     Don't  care  how  soon  daylight  come." 

"  It  has  left  off  raining  already,"  observed  Easy ;  "  there 


io8  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

is  a  candle  in  the  binnacle, — suppose  we  light  it,  and  look 
round  the  decks." 

"  Yes,"  replied  Mesty,  **  one  man  sentry  over  cabin- 
hatch,  and  another  over  after-hatch.  Now  den  we  light 
candle,  and  all  the  rest  go  round  the  deck.  Mind  you 
leave  all  your  pistols  on  capstern," 

Jack  lighted  the  candle,  and  they  proceeded  round  the 
decks :  they  had  not  walked  far,  when,  between  two  of 
the  guns,  they  discovered  a  heap  covered  with  gregos. 
**  There  de  ivatch"  whispered  Mesty ;  "  all  fast — not 
ready  for  dem  yet." 

Mesty  blew  out  the  candle,  and  they  all  retreated  to  the 
binnacle,  where  Mesty  took  out  a  coil  of  the  ropes  about 
the  mizen-mast,  and  cutting  it  into  lengths,  gave  them  to 
the  other  men  to  unlay.  In  a  few  minutes  they  had 
prepared  a  great  many  seizings  to  tie  the  men  with. 

"Now  den  we  light  candle  again,  and  make  sure  of 
them  lazy  hounds,"  said  Mesty ;  "  very  much  oblige  to 
dem  all  de  same,  they  let  us  take  de  ship — mind  now, 
wake  one  at  a  time,  and  shut  him  mouth." 

"  But  suppose  they  get  their  mouths  free  and  cry  out .? " 
replied  Jack. 

"  Den,  Mr  Easy,"  replied  Mesty,  changing  his  counte- 
nance to  an  expression  almost  demoniacal — "  there  no 
help  for  it," — and  Mesty  showed  his  knife  which  he  held 
in  his  right  hand. 

"  Oh  no  !  do  not  let  us  murder  them." 
"  No,  massa — suppose  can  help  it,  but  suppose  they  get 
upper  hand — what  become  of  us  }     Spaniards  hab  knives, 
and  use  dem  too,  by  de  power ! " 

The  observation  of  Mesty  was  correct,  and  the  expres- 
sion of  his  countenance  when  he  showed  his  knife  proved 
what  a  relentless  enemy  he  could  be,  if  his  blood  was  once 
roused — but  Mesty  had  figured  in  the  Ashantee  wars  in 
former  days,  and  after  that  the  reader  need  not  be 
surprised.  They  proceeded  cautiously  to  where  the 
Spaniards  lay.  The  arrangements  of  Mesty  were  very 
good.     There  were  two  men  to  gag  them  while  the  others 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  109 

were  to  tie  their  limbs.  Mesty  and  Easy  were  to  kneel 
by  them  with  the  candle,  with  raised  knives  to  awe  them  into 
silence,  or  to  strike  home,  if  their  own  safety  required  it. 

The  gregos  were  removed  off  the  first  man,  who 
opened  his  eyes  at  the  sight  of  the  candle,  but  the  cox- 
swain's hand  was  on  his  mouth — he  was  secured  in  silence. 
The  other  two  men  were  awaked,  and  threw  off  their 
coverings,  but  they  were  also  secured  without  there  being 
occasion  to  resort  to  bloodshed. 

"  What  shall  we  do  now,  Mesty  ? " 

"  Now,  sar,"  said  Mesty,  "  open  the  after-hatch  and 
watch — suppose  more  men  come  up,  we  make  them  fast ; 
suppose  no  more  come  up,  we  wait  till  daylight — and  see 
what  take  place." 

Mesty  then  went  forward  to  see  if  the  men  were  watch- 
ful on  the  forecastle ;  and  having  again  gone  round  the 
whole  of  the  deck  to  see  if  there  were  any  more  men  on 
it,  he  blew  out  the  candle,  and  took  his  station  with  the 
others  at  the  after-hatchway. 

It  was  just  at  break  of  day  that  the  Spaniards  who  had 
to  keep  the  morning  watch  having  woke  up,  as  people 
generally  do  at  that  hour  at  which  they  expect  to  be 
called,  dressed  themselves  and  came  on  deck,  imagining, 
and  very  truly,  that  those  of  the  middle  watch  had  fallen 
asleep,  but  little  imagining  that  the  deck  was  in  possession 
of  Englishmen.  Mesty  and  the  others  retreated,  to  allow 
them  all  to  come  up  before  they  could  perceive  them,  and 
fortunately  this  was  accomplished.  Four  men  came  on  the 
deck,  looked  round  them,  and  tried  to  make  out  in  the 
dark  where  their  shipmates  might  be.  The  grating  was 
slapped  on  again  by  Jack,  and  before  they  could  well 
gain  their  eyesight,  they  were  seized  and  secured,  not 
however  without  a  scuffle  and  some  noise. 

By  the  time  that  these  men  were  secured  and  laid 
between  the  guns  it  was  daylight,  and  they  now  perceived 
what  a  fine  vessel  they  had  fairly  taken  possession  of — but 
there  was  much  to  be  done  yet.  There  was,  of  course,  a 
number  of  men  in  the  ship,  and  moreover  they  were  not  a 


no  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

mile  from  a  battery  of  ten  guns.  Mesty,  who  was  fore- 
most in  everything,  left  four  men  abaft,  and  went  forward 
on  the  forecastle,  examined  the  cable,  which  was  coir  rope, 
and  therefore  easily  divided,  and  then  directed  the  two 
men  forward  to  coil  a  hawser  upon  the  fore-grating,  the 
weight  of  which  would  make  all  safe  in  that  quarter,  and 
afterwards  to  join  them  on  the  quarter-deck. 

**  Now,  Mr  Easy,  the  great  ting  will  be  to  get  hold  of 
captain  J  we  must  get  him  on  deck.  Open  cabin-hatch 
now,  and  keep  the  after-hatch  fast.  Two  men  stay  there, 
the  others  all  come  aft." 

"  Yes,"  replied  Jack,  **  It  will  be  a  great  point  to  secure 
the  captain — but  how  are  we  to  get  him  up  .? " 

"  You  no  know  how  to  get  captain  up  ?  By  de  holy,  I 
know  very  well." 

And  Mesty  took  up  the  coils  of  rope  about  the  mizen- 
mast,  and  threw  them  upon  deck,  one  after  another, 
making  all  the  noise  possible.  In  a  short  time,  there  was 
a  violent  pull  of  a  bell  at  the  cabin-door,  and  in  a  minute 
afterwards  a  man  in  his  shirt  came  up  the  cabin-hatchway, 
who  was  immediately  secured. 

"  Dis  de  captain's  servant,"  said  Mesty,  "  he  come  say 
no  make  such  d — d  noise.  Stop  a  little — captain  get  in 
passion,  and  come  up  himself." 

And  Mesty  renewed  the  noise  with  the  ropes  over  the 
cabin.  Mesty  was  right ;  in  a  few  minutes  the  captain 
himself  came  up,  boiling  with  indignation.  At  the  sound 
of  the  cabin-door  opening,  the  seamen  and  our  hero 
concealed  themselves  behind  the  companion-hatch,  which 
was  very  high,  so  as  to  give  the  captain  time  to  get  fairly 
on  deck.  The  men  already  secured  had  been  covered 
over  with  the  gregos.  The  captain  was  a  most  powerful 
man,  and  it  was  with  difficulty  that  he  was  pinioned,  and 
then  not  without  his  giving  the  alarm,  had  there  been  any 
one  to  assist  him ;  but  as  yet  no  one  had  turned  out  of  his 
hammock. 

"Now  we  all  right,"  said  Mesty,  "and  soon  ab  de 
ship  5  but  I  must  make  him  'fraid." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  in 

The  captain  was  seated  down  on  the  deck  against  one  of 
the  guns,  and  Mesty,  putting  on  the  look  of  a  demon, 
extended  above  him  his  long  nervous  arm,  with  the  sharp 
knife  clutched,  as  if  ready  every  instant  to  strike  it  into  his 
heart.  The  Spanish  captain  felt  his  situation  anything  but 
pleasant.  He  was  then  interrogated  as  to  the  number  of 
men  in  the  ship,  officers,  &c.,  to  all  which  questions  he 
answered  truly ;  he  cast  his  eyes  at  the  firm  and  relentless 
countenance  of  Mesty,  who  appeared  but  to  wait  the 
signal. 

'*  I  tink  all  pretty  safe  now,"  said  Mesty.  "  Mr  Easy, 
we  now  go  down  below  and  beat  all  men  into  the 
hold." 

Our  hero  approved  of  this  suggestion.  Taking  their 
pistols  from  the  capstern,  they  rushed  down  with  their 
cutlasses,  and  leaving  two  men  to  guard  the  cabin-door, 
they  were  soon  among  the  crew,  who  were  all  naked  in 
their  hammocks :  the  resistance,  although  the  numbers 
were  more  than  double  of  the  English,  was  of  course 
trifling.  In  a  few  minutes,  the  Spaniards  were  all  thrown 
down  into  the  hold  of  the  vessel,  and  the  hatches  placed 
over  them.  Every  part  of  the  ship  was  now  in  their 
possession,  except  the  cabin,  and  to  that  they  all  repaired. 
Our  hero  tried  the  door,  and  found  it  fast ;  they  beat  it 
open,  and  were  received  with  loud  screams  from  one  side 
of  the  cabin,  and  the  discharge  of  two  pistols  from  the 
other,  fortunately  without  injury :  those  who  had  fired 
the  pistols  were  an  elderly  man  and  a  lad  about  the  age 
of  our  hero.  They  were  thrown  down  and  secured  ;  the 
cabin  was  searched,  and  nobody  else  found  in  it  but  three 
women ;  one  old  and  shrivelled,  the  other  two,  although 
with  their  countenances  distorted  with  terror,  were  lovely 
as  houris.  So  thought  Jack,  as  he  took  off  his  hat,  and 
made  them  a  very  low  bow  with  his  usual  politeness,  as 
they  crouched,  half-dressed,  in  a  corner.  He  told  them  in 
English  that  they  had  nothing  to  fear,  and  begged  that 
they  would  attend  to  their  toilets.  The  ladies  made  no 
reply,   because,   in   the   first  place,   they   did  not   know 


112  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

what  Jack  said,  and,  in  the  next,  they  could  not  speak 
English. 

Mesty  interrupted  Jack  in  his  attentions,  by  pointing 
out  that  they  must  all  go  upon  deck — so  Jack  again  took 
off  his  hat  and  bowed,  and  then  followed  his  men,  who 
led  away  the  two  prisoners  taken  in  the  cabin.  It  was 
now  five  o'clock  in  the  morning,  and  there  was  movement 
on  board  of  the  other  vessels,  which  laid  not  far  from  the 
ship. 

"Now,  then,"  said  Jack,  "what  shall  we  do  with  the 
prisoners  ? — could  we  not  send  the  boat  and  bring  our 
own  vessel  alongside,  and  put  them  all  in,  tied  as  they 
are  ?     We  should  then  get  rid  of  them." 

"  Massa  Easj^  you  be  one  very  fine  officer  one  of  these 
days.  Dat  d — n  good  idea,  anyhow ; — but  suppose  we 
send  our  own  boat,  what  they  tink  on  board  of  de  oder 
vessel  ?  Lower  down  lilly  boat  from  stern,  put  in  four 
men,  and  drop  vessel  'longside — dat  it." 

This  was  done ;  the  cutter  was  on  the  seaward  side  of 
the  ship,  and,  as  the  ship  was  the  outermost  vessel,  was 
concealed  from  the  view  of  the  Spaniards  on  board  of 
the  other  vessels,  and  in  the  battery  on  shore.  As  soon 
as  the  lateen  vessel  was  alongside,  the  men  who  had 
already  been  secured  on  deck,  amounting  to  seven,  were 
lowered  into  her,  and  laid  upon  the  beans  in  the  hold ; 
all  except  the  captain,  the  two  cabin-prisoners,  and  the 
captain's  servant.  They  then  went  down  below,  took  off 
one  part  of  the  hatches,  and  ordered  the  Spaniards  up 
from  the  hold  :  as  they  came  on  deck  they  were  made  fast 
and  treated  in  the  same  manner.  Mesty  and  the  men 
went  down  to  examine  if  there  were  any  left  concealed, 
and  finding  that  they  were  all  out,  returned  on  deck. 
The  men  who  had  been  beaten  down  in  the  hold  were 
twenty-two  in  number,  making  the  whole  complement  of 
thirty.  As  soon  as  they  had  all  been  put  into  the  xebeque, 
she  was  again  hauled  off  and  anchored  outside,  and  Jack 
found  himself  in  possession  of  a  fine  ship  of  fourteen  guns, 
with  three  prisoners  male  and  three  prisoners  female. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  113 

When  the  men  returned  in  the  boat  from  the  vessel  in 
u'hich  the  prisoners  had  been  confined  (the  hatches  having 
been  secured  over  them,  by  way  of  further  precaution), 
by  the  advice  of  Mesty  they  put  on  the  jackets  and  caps 
of  the  Spanish  seamen,  of  which  there  was  a  plentiful 
supply  below. 

"  Now,  what's  to  be  done,  Mesty  ?  "  inquired  Jack. 

"  Now,  sar,  we  send  some  of  the  men  aloft  to  get  sails 
all  ready,  and  while  they  do  that  I  cast  loose  this  fellow," 
pointing  to  the  captain's  servant,  "  and  make  him  get  some 
breakfast,  for  he  know  where  to  find  it." 

"  Capital  idea  of  yours,  Mesty,  for  I'm  tired  of  bean- 
soup  already,  and  I  will  go  down  and  pay  my  respects  to 
the  ladies." 

Mesty  looked  over  the  counter. 

"  Yes,  and  be  quick  too,  Massa  Easy ;  d — m  the 
women,  they  toss  their  handkerchief  in  the  air  to  people 
in  the  battery — quick,  Massa  Easy." 

Mesty  was  right — the  Spanish  girls  were  waving  their 
handkerchiefs  for  assistance ;  it  was  all  that  they  could 
do,  poor  things.  Jack  hastened  into  the  cabin,  laid  hold 
of  the  two  young  ladies,  very  politely  pulled  them  out  of 
the  quarter  gallery,  and  begged  that  they  would  not  give 
themselves  so  much  trouble.  The  young  ladies  looked 
very  much  confused,  and  as  they  could  no  longer  wave 
their  handkerchiefs,  they  put  them  up  to  their  eyes  and 
began  to  weep,  while  the  elderly  lady  went  on  her  knees, 
and  held  her  hands  up  for  mercy.  Jack  raised  her  up, 
and  very  politely  handed  her  to  one  of  the  cabin 
lockers. 

In  the  meantime  Mesty,  with  his  gleaming  knife  and 
expressive  look,  had  done  wonders  with  the  captain's 
steward,  for  such  the  man  was  :  and  a  breakfast  of 
chocolate,  salt  meat,  hams  and  sausages,  white  biscuit  and 
red  wine,  had  been  spread  on  the  quarter-deck.  The 
men  had  come  from  aloft,  and  Jack  was  summoned  on 
deck.  Jack  offered  his  hand  to  the  two  young  ladies, 
and  beckoned  the  old  one  to   follow :   the  old  lady  did 

E  H 


114  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

not  think  it  advisable  to  refuse  his  courtesy,  so  they 
accompanied  him. 

As  soon  as  the  females  came  on  deck,  and  found  the 
two  cabin  prisoners  bound,  they  ran  to  them  and  embraced 
them  with  tears.  Jack's  heart  melted,  and  as  there  was 
now  no  fear,  he  asked  Mesty  for  his  knife,  and  cut  loose 
the  two  Spaniards,  pointing  to  the  breakfast,  and  request- 
ing that  they  would  join  them.  The  Spaniards  made  a 
bow,  and  the  ladies  thanked  Jack  with  a  sweet  smile  •, 
and  the  captain  of  the  vessel,  who  still  lay  pinioned  against 
the  gun,  looked,  as  much  as  to  say.  Why  the  devil  don't 
you  ask  me  ?  but  the  fact  was,  they  had  had  such  trouble 
to  secure  him,  that  Jack  did  not  much  like  the  idea  of 
letting  him  loose  again.  Jack  and  the  seamen  commenced 
their  breakfast,  and  as  the  ladies  and  prisoners  did  not 
appeared  inclined  to  eat,  they  ate  their  share  and  their 
own  too  ;  during  which,  the  elderly  man  inquired  of  Jack 
if  he  could  speak  French. 

Jack,  with  his  mouth  full  of  sausage,  replied,  that  he 
could ;  and  then  commenced  a  conversation,  from  which 
Jack  learnt  as  follows  : — 

The  elderly  gentleman  was  a  passenger  with  the  young 
man,  who  was  his  son,  and  the  ladies,  who  were  his  wife 
and  his  two  daughters,  and  they  were  proceeding  to 
Tarragona.  Whereupon  Jack  made  a  bow  and  thanked 
him  J  and  then  the  gentleman,  whose  name  was  Don 
Cordova  de  Rimarosa,  wished  to  know  what  Jack  in- 
tended to  do  with  them,  hoping,  as  a  gentleman,  he 
would  put  them  on  shore  with  their  effects,  as  they  were 
non-combatants.  Jack  explained  all  this  to  Mesty  and 
the  men,  and  then  finished  his  sausage.  The  men,  who 
were  a  little  elevated  with  the  wine  which  they  had  been 
drinking,  proposed  that  they  should  take  the  ladies  a 
cruise,  and  Jack  at  first  did  not  dislike  the  idea,  but  he 
said  nothing.  Mesty,  however,  opposed  this,  saying,  that 
ladies  only  made  a  row  in  a  ship,  and  the  coxswain  sided 
with  him,  saying,  that  they  should  all  be  at  daggers  drawn. 
Whereupon  Jack  pulled   out  the  "  articles  of  war,"  and 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  iie 

informed  the  men,  that  there  was  no  provision  in  them 
for  women,  and  therefore  the  thing  was  impossible. 

The  next  question  was,  as  to  the  propriety  of  allowing 
them  to  take  their  effects  ;  and  it  was  agreed,  at  last, 
that  they  might  take  them.  Jack  desired  the  steward  to 
feed  his  master  the  captain,  and  then  told  the  Spanish 
Don  the  result  of  the  consultation,  further  informing  him, 
that  as  soon  as  it  was  dark,  he  intended  to  put  them  all 
on  board  the  small  vessel,  when  they  would  cast  loose 
the  men  and  do  as  they  pleased.  The  Don  and  the  ladies 
returned  thanks,  and  went  down  to  pack  up  their  baggage  j 
Mesty  ordering  two  men  to  help  them,  but  with  a  caution, 
that  they  were  not  to  encumber  themselves  with  any  of 
the  money,  if  there  should  happen  to  be  any  on  board. 

The  crew  were  busy  during  the  day  making  prepara- 
tions for  sailing.  The  coxswain  had  examined  the  pro- 
vender in  the  ship,  and  found  that  there  was  enough  for 
at  least  three  months,  of  water,  wine,  and  provisions, 
independent  of  luxuries  for  the  cabin.  All  thoughts  of 
taking  any  more  of  the  vessels  were  abandoned,  for  their 
crew  was  but  weak  to  manage  the  one  which  they  had 
possession  of.  A  fine  breeze  sprang  up,  and  they  dropped 
their  fore-topsails,  just  as  a  boat  was  shoving  off  from  the 
shore ;  but  seeing  the  fore-topsails  loosed,  it  put  back 
again.  This  was  fortunate,  or  all  would  have  been  dis- 
covered. The  other  vessels  also  loosed  their  sails,  and 
the  crews  were  heard  weighing  the  anchors. 

But  the  Nostra  Senora  del  Carmen,  which  was  Jack's 
prize,  did  not  move.  At  last  the  sun  went  down,  the 
baggage  was  placed  in  the  cutter,  the  ladies  and  passengers 
went  into  the  boat,  thanking  Jack  for  his  kindness,  who 
put  his  hand  to  his  heart  and  bowed  to  the  deck  ;  and  the 
captain  was  lowered  down  after  them.  Four  men  well 
armed  pulled  them  alongside  of  the  xebeque,  put  them 
and  their  trunks  on  deck,  and  returned  to  the  ship.  The 
cutter  was  then  hoisted  up,  and  as  the  anchor  was  too 
heavy  to  weigh,  they  cut  the  cable,  and  made  sail.  The 
other    vessels    followed  their    example.      Mesty  and    the 


ii6  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

seamen  cast  longing  eyes  upon  them,  but  it  was  of  no 
use ;  so  they  sailed  in  company  for  about  an  hour,  and 
then  Jack  hauled  his  wind  for  a  cruise.  . 


Chapter  XIV 

In  which  our  hero  finds  that  disagreeable  occurrence  will  take  place  on  a 

cruise. 

As  soon  as  the  ship  had  been  hauled  to  the  wind.  Jack's 
ship's  company  seemed  to  think  that  there  was  nothing 
to  do  except  to  make  merry  ;  so  they  brought  up  some 
earthen  jars  full  of  wine,  and  emptied  them  so  fast  that 
they  were  soon  fast  asleep  on  the  deck,  with  the  ex- 
ception of  the  man  at  the  helm,  who,  instead  of  thirty- 
two,  could  clearly  make  out  sixty -four  points  in  the 
compass,  and  of  course  was  able  to  steer  to  a  much 
greater  nicety.  Fortunately,  the  weather  was  fine,  for 
when  the  man  at  the  helm  had  steered  till  he  could  see 
no  more,  and  requested  to  be  released,  he  found  that 
his  shipmates  were  so  overpowered  with  fatigue,  that  it 
Was  impossible  to  wake  them.  He  kicked  them  one  by 
one  most  unmercifully  in  the  ribs,  but  it  was  of  no  use  : 
under  these  circumstances,  he  did  as  they  did,  that  is, 
lay  down  with  them,  and  in  ten  minutes  it  would  have 
taken  as  much  kicking  to  awake  him  as  he  gave  his 
shipmates. 

In  the  meantime  the  ship  had  it  all  her  own  way,  and 
not  knowing  where  she  was  to  go,  she  went  round  and 
round  the  compass  during  the  best  part  of  the  night. 
Mesty  had  arranged  the  watches,  Jack  had  made  a  speech, 
and  the  men  had  promised  everything,  but  the  wine  had 
got  into  their  heads,  and  memory  had  taken  that  oppor- 
tunity to  take  a  stroll.  Mesty  had  been  down  with  Jack, 
examining  the  cabin,  and  in  the  captain's  state-room  they 
had  found  fourteen  thousand  dollars  in  bags.  Of  this 
they  determined  not  to  tell  the  men,  but  locked  up  the 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  117 

money  and  everything  else  of  value,  and  took  out  the 
key.  They  then  sat  down  at  the  cabin  table,  and  after 
some  conversation,  it  was  no  matter  of  surprise,  after 
having  been  up  all  the  night  before,  that  Jack  laid  his 
head  on  the  table  and  fell  fast  asleep.  Mesty  kept  his 
eyes  open  for  some  time,  but  at  last  his  head  sank  down 
upon  his  chest,  and  he  also  slumbered.  Thus,  about 
one  o'clock  in  the  morning,  there  was  not  a  very  good 
watch  kept  on  board  of  the  Nostra  Senora  del  Carmen. 

About  four  o'clock  in  the  morning,  Mesty  tumbled 
forward,  and  he  hit  his  head  against  the  table,  which 
roused  him  up. 

"By  de  mass,  I  tink  I  almost  fall  asleep,"  cried  he, 
and  he  went  to  the  cabin  window,  which  had  been  left 
open,  and  found  that  there  was  a  strong  breeze  blowing 
in.  "By  de  Lord,  de  wind  ab  come  more  aft,"  said 
Mesty,  "  why  they  not  tell  me  ? "  So  saying,  he  went 
on  deck,  where  he  found  no  one  at  the  helm  j  everyone 
drunk,  and  the  ship  with  her  yards  braced  up  running 
before  the  wind,  just  by  way  of  a  change.  Mesty 
growled,  but  there  was  no  time  to  lose  5  the  topsails 
only  were  set, — these  he  lowered  down,  and  then  put 
the  helm  a-lee,  and  lashed  it,  while  he  went  down  to 
call  our  hero  to  his  assistance.  Jack  roused  up,  and 
went  on  deck. 

"  This  nebber  do,  Massa  Easy ;  we  all  go  to  devil 
together  —  together  —  dam  drunken  dogs — I  freshen  um 
up  anyhow."  So  Mesty  drew  some  buckets  of  water, 
with  which  he  soused  the  ship's  company,  who  then 
appeared  to  be  recovering  their  senses. 

"  By  heavens  !  "  says  Jack,  "  but  this  is  contrary  to  the 
articles  of  war  5  I  shall  read  them  to  them  to-morrow 
morning." 

"  I  tell  what  better  ting,  Massa  Easy  :  we  go  lock  up 
all  de  wine,  and  sarve  out  so  much,  and  no  more.  I  go 
do  it  at  once,  'fore  they  wake  up." 

Mesty  went  down,  leaving  Jack  on  deck  to  his  medita- 
tions. 


ii8  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  I  am  not  sure,"  thought  Jack,  "  that  I  have  done 
a  very  wise  thing.  Here  I  am  with  a  parcel  of  fellows 
who  have  no  respect  for  the  articles  of  war,  and  who 
get  as  drunk  as  David's  sow.  I  have  a  large  ship,  but 
I  have  very  few  hands  ;  and  if  it  comes  on  bad  weather, 
what  shall  I  do  ? — for  I  know  very  little — hardly  how 
to  take  in  a  sail.  Then — as  for  where  to  steer,  or  how 
to  steer,  I  know  not — nor  do  any  of  my  men  ;  but, 
however,  as  it  was  very  narrow  when  we  came  into  the 
Mediterranean  through  the  straits,  it  is  hardly  possible 
to  get  out  of  them  without  perceiving  it ;  besides,  I 
should  know  the  rock  of  Gibraltar  again  if  I  saw  it.  I 
must  talk  to  Mesty." 

Mesty  soon  returned  with  the  keys  of  the  provision- 
room  tied  to  his  bandana. 

"Now,"  says  he,  *'  they  not  get  drunk  again  in  a 
hurry." 

A  few  more  buckets  of  water  soon  brought  the  men 
to  their  senses :  they  again  stood  on  their  legs,  and 
gradually  recovered  themselves.  Daylight  broke,  and 
they  found  that  the  vessel  had  made  an  attempt  for  the 
Spanish  coast,  being  within  a  mile  of  the  beach,  and 
facing  a  large  battery  a  fieur  d'eau ;  fortunately  they  had 
time  to  square  the  yards,  and  steer  the  ship  along  shore 
under  the  topsails,  before  they  were  perceived.  Had  they 
been  seen  at  daylight  in  the  position  that  they  were  in 
during  the  night,  the  suspicions  of  the  Spaniards  would 
have  been  awakened ;  and  had  a  boat  been  sent  off, 
while  they  were  all  drunk,  they  must  have  been  re- 
captured. 

The  men,  who  perceived  what  danger  they  had  been 
in,  listened  very  penitently  to  Jack's  remonstrances  ;  and 
our  hero,  to  impress  them  more  strongly  on  their  minds, 
took  out  the  articles  of  war,  read  that  on  drunkenness  from 
beginning  to  end ;  but  the  men  had  heard  it  read  so 
often  at  the  gangway,  that  it  did  not  make  a  due  im- 
pression. As  Mesty  said,  his  plan  was  better,  and  so 
it  proved  ;   for  as  soon  as  Jack  had  done,  the  men  went 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  119 

down  to  get  another  jug  of  wine,  and  found,  to  their 
disappointment,  that  it  was  all  under  lock  and  key. 

In  the  meantime,  Jack  called  Mesty  aft,  and  asked  him 
if  he  knew  the  way  to  Toulon.  Mesty  declared  that  he 
knew  nothing  about  it. 

"  Then  Mesty,  it  appears  to  me  that  we  have  a  better 
chance  of  finding  our  way  back  to  Gibraltar  ;  for  you 
know  the  land  was  on  our  left  side  all  the  way  coming 
up  the  Mediterranean ;  and  if  we  keep  it,  as  it  is  now, 
on  our  right,  we  shall  get  back  again  along  the  coast." 

Mesty  agreed  with  Jack  that  this  was  the  ne  plus  ultra 
of  navigation ;  and  that  old  Smallsole  could  not  do  better 
with  his  "  pig-yoke "  and  compasses.  So  they  shook  a 
reef  out  of  the  topsails,  set  top  -  gallant  -  sails,  and  ran 
directly  down  the  coast  from  point  to  point,  keeping 
about  five  miles  distant.  The  men  prepared  a  good 
dinner  •,  Mesty  gave  them  their  allowance  of  wine,  which 
was  just  double  what  they  had  on  board  the  Harpy — so 
they  soon  appeared  to  be  content.  One  man,  indeed, 
talked  very  big  and  very  mutinously,  swearing  that  if 
the  others  would  join  him  they  would  soon  have  liquor 
enough ;  but  Mesty  gave  him  his  look,  opened  his  knife, 
and  swore  that  he  would  settle  him,  and  Jack  knocked 
him  down  with  a  handspike  j  so  that,  what  with  the  punish- 
ment received,  and  that  which  was  promised,  the  fellow 
thought  he  might  as  well  say  no  more  about  it.  The 
fact  is,  that  had  it  not  been  from  fear  of  Mesty,  the 
whole  of  the  men  would,  in  all  probability,  have  behaved 
equally  as  bad  ;  nevertheless,  they  were  a  little  staggered, 
it  must  be  owned,  at  seeing  Jack  play  so  good  a  stick 
with  the  handspike. 

After  this  night  Jack  and  Mesty  kept  watch  and  watch, 
and  everything  went  on  very  well  until  they  were  nearly 
abreast  of  Carthagena,  when  a  gale  came  on  from  the 
northward,  and  drove  them  out  of  sight  of  land.  Sail 
after  sail  was  reduced  with  difficulty  from  their  having 
so  few  hands,  and  the  gale  blew  for  three  days  with 
great  fury.     The  men  were  tired  out  and  discontented. 


I20  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

It  was  Jack's  misfortune  that  he  had  but  one  good  man 
with  him  :  even  the  coxswain  of  the  boat,  although  a 
fine-looking  man,  was  worth  nothing.  Mesty  was  Jack's 
sheet-anchor.  The  fourth  day  the  gale  moderated,  but 
they  had  no  idea  where  they  were :  they  knew  that  they 
had  been  blown  off,  but  how  far  they  could  not  tell, 
and  Jack  now  began  to  discover  that  a  cruise  at  sea  with- 
out knowledge  of  navigation  was  a  more  nervous  thing 
than  he  had  contemplated.  However,  there  was  no  help 
for  it.  At  night  they  wore  the  ship  and  stood  on  the 
other  tack,  and  at  daylight  they  perceived  that  they  were 
close  to  some  small  islands,  and  much  closer  to  some 
large  rocks,  against  which  the  sea  beat  high,  although 
the  wind  had  subsided.  Again  was  the  helm  put  up, 
and  they  narrowly  escaped.  As  soon  as  the  sails  were 
trimmed  the  men  came  aft  and  proposed  that  if  they  could 
find  anchorage  they  should  run  into  it,  for  they  were 
quite  tired  out.  This  was  true,  and  Jack  consulted  with 
Mesty,  who  thought  it  advisable  to  agree  to  the  proposal. 
That  the  islands  were  not  inhabited  was  very  evident. 
The  only  point  to  ascertain  was,  if  there  were  good 
anchorage.  The  coxswain  offered  to  go  in  the  boat  and 
examine  j  and,  with  four  men,  he  set  off,  and  in  about 
an  hour  returned,  stating  that  there  was  plenty  of  water, 
and  that  it  was  as  smooth  as  a  mill-pond,  being  land- 
locked on  every  side.  As  they  could  not  weigh  the 
bower-anchor  they  bent  the  kedge,  and  running  in  without 
accident,  came  to  in  a  small  bay,  between  the  islands,  in 
seven  fathoms  water.  The  sails  were  furled,  and  every- 
thing put  in  order  by  the  seamen,  who  then  took  the 
boat  and  pulled  on  shore.  "  They  might  as  well  have 
asked  leave,"  thought  Jack.  In  an  hour  they  returned, 
and,  after  a  short  discussion,  came  aft  to  our  hero  in  a 
body. 

The  coxswain  was  spokesman.  He  said  that  they  had 
had  hard  work,  and  required  now  to  have  some  rest — 
that  there  were  provisions  on  board  for  three  months, 
so  that  there  could  not  be  any  hurry,  and  that  they  had 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  121 

found  they  could  pitch  a  tent  very  well  on  shore,  and  live 
there  for  a  short  time ;  and  that,  as  there  was  no  harm  in 
getting  drunk  on  shore,  they  expected  that  they  might  be 
allowed  to  take  provisions  and  plenty  of  wine  with  them, 
and  that  the  men  had  desired  him  to  ask  leave,  because 
they  were  determined  to  go  whether  or  no.  Jack  was 
about  to  answer  with  the  handspike,  but  perceiving  that 
the  men  had  all  put  on  their  cutlasses,  and  had  their  pistols 
at  their  belts,  he  thought  proper  to  consult  Mesty,  who, 
perceiving  that  resistance  was  useless,  advised  Jack  to 
submit,  observing,  that  the  sooner  all  the  wine  was  gone 
the  better,  as  there  would  be  nothing  done  while  it  lasted. 
Jack,  therefore,  very  graciously  told  them  that  they  should 
have  their  own  way,  and  he  would  stay  there  as  long  as 
they  pleased.  Mesty  gave  them  the  keys  of  the  provision- 
hatch,  and  told  them,  with  a  grin,  to  help  themselves. 
The  men  then  informed  Jack  that  he  and  Mesty  should 
stay  on  board  and  take  care  of  the  ship  for  them,  and  that 
they  would  take  the  Spaniard  on  shore  to  cook  their 
victuals.  But  to  this  Jack  observed  that  if  he  had  not 
two  hands  he  could  not  obey  their  orders,  in  case  they 
wished  him  to  come  on  shore  for  them.  The  men  thought 
there  was  good  argument  in  that  observation,  and  there- 
fore allowed  Jack  to  retain  the  Spaniard,  that  he  might 
be  more  prompt  to  their  call  from  the  beach.  They  then 
wished  him  good  day,  and  begged  that  he  would  amuse 
himself  with  the  **  articles  of  war." 

As  soon  as  they  had  thrown  a  spare  sail  into  the  boat, 
with  some  spars  to  make  a  tent,  and  some  bedding,  they 
went  down  below,  hoisted  up  two  pipes  of  wine  out  of 
the  three,  a  bag  or  two  of  biscuit,  arms  and  ammunition, 
and  as  much  of  the  salt  provisions  as  they  thought  they 
might  require.  The  boat  being  full,  they  shoved  off  with 
three  cheers  of  derision.  Jack  was  sensible  to  the  com- 
pliment :  he  stood  at  the  gangway,  took  off  his  hat,  and 
made  them  a  polite  bow. 

As  soon  as  they  were  gone,  Mesty  grinned  with  his 
sharp-filed  teeth,  and  looking  at  our  hero,  said — 


122  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"I  tink  I  make  um  pay  for  all  dis — stop  a  little;  by 
de  piper  as  played  before  Moses,  but  our  turn  come 
by-and-bye." 

As  for  Jack,  he  said  nothing,  but  he  thought  the  more. 
In  about  an  hour  the  men  returned  in  the  boat :  they  had 
forgotten  many  things  they  wanted — wood  to  make  a  fire, 
and  several  utensils ;  they  helped  themselves  freely,  and 
having  now  everything  that  they  could  think  of,  they 
again  went  on  shore. 

"How  d — n  lucky,  we  nebber  tell  dem  about  the  dollars," 
said  Mesty,  as  Jack  and  he  were  watching  the  motions  of 
the  men. 

"  It  is,  indeed,"  replied  Jack ;  "  not  that  they  could 
spend  them  here." 

"  No,  Massa  Easy,  but  suppose  they  find  all  that  money, 
they  take  boat  and  go  away  with  it.  Now,  I  hab  them 
in  my  clutch — stop  a  little." 

A  narrow  piece  of  salt  pork  had  been  left  at  the  gang- 
way :  Jack,  without  knowing  why,  tossed  it  overboard ; 
being  almost  all  fat,  it  sank  very  gradually :  Jack  watched 
it  as  it  disappeared,  so  did  Mesty,  both  full  of  thought, 
when  they  perceived  a  dark  object  rising  under  it :  it  was 
a  ground  shark,  who  took  it  into  his  maw,  sank  down,  and 
disappeared. 

"  What  was  that  ?  "  said  Jack. 

"That  ground  shark,  Massa  Easy — worst  shark  of  all ; 
you  nebber  see  him  till  you  feel  him ; "  and  Mesty's  eyes 
sparkled  with  pleasure.  "By  de  powers,  they  soon  stop 
de  mutiny  ;  now  I  hab  'em." 

Jack  shuddered  and  walked  away. 

During  the  day,  the  men  on  shore  were  seen  to  work 
hard,  and  make  all  the  preparations  before  they  abandoned 
themselves  to  the  sensual  gratification  of  intemperance. 
The  tent  was  pitched,  the  fire  was  lighted,  and  all  the 
articles  taken  on  shore  rolled  up  and  stowed  away  in  their 
places  ;  they  were  seen  to  sit  down  and  dine,  for  they 
were  within  hail  of  the  ship,  and  then  one  of  the  casks  of 
wine  was  spiled.     In  the  meantime  the  Spaniard,  who  was 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  123 

a  quiet  lad,  had  prepared  the  dinner  for  Easy  and  his  now 
only  companion.  The  evening  closed,  and  all  was  noise 
and  revelry  on  shore ;  and  as  they  danced,  and  sung,  and 
tossed  off  the  cans  of  wine  by  the  light  of  the  fire,  as 
they  hallooed  and  screamed,  and  became  more  and  more 
intoxicated,  Mesty  turned  to  Jack  with  his  bitter  smile,  and 
only  said — 

"  Stop  a  little." 

At  last  the  noise  grew  fainter,  the  fire  died  away,  and 
gradually  all  was  silent.  Jack  was  still  hanging  over  the 
gangway  when  Mesty  came  up  to  him.  The  new  moon 
had  just  risen,  and  Jack's  eyes  were  fixed  upon  it. 

"Now,  Massa  Easy,  please  you  come  aft  and  lower 
down  little  boat;  take  your  pistols,  and  then  we  go 
on  shore  and  bring  off  the  cutter;  they  all  asleep 
now." 

*'But  why  should  we  leave  them  without  a  boat,  Mesty  ?" 
for  Jack  thought  of  the  sharks,  and  the  probability  of  the 
men  attempting  to  swim  off. 

"  I  tell  you,  sar,  this  night  they  get  drunk,  to-morrow 
they  get  drunk  again,  but  drunken  men  never  keep  quiet, 
— suppose  one  man  say  to  others,  *  Let's  go  board  and 
kill  officer,  and  then  we  do  as  we  please,'  they  all  say 
yes,  and  they  all  come  and  do  it.  No,  sar — must  have 
boat — if  not  for  your  sake,  I  must  hab  it,  save  my  own 
life  any  how,  for  they  hate  me  and  kill  me  first ;  by  de 
powers,  stop  a  little." 

Jack  felt  the  truth  of  Mesty's  observation ;  he  went  aft 
with  him,  lowered  down  the  small  boat,  and  they  hauled 
it  alongside.  Jack  went  down  with  Mesty  into  the  cabin 
and  fetched  his  pistols.  "  And  the  Spaniard,  Mesty,  can 
we  leave  him  on  board  alone  ? " 

"  Yes,  sar,  he  no  got  arms,  and  he  see  dat  me  have — 
but  suppose  he  find  arms  he  never  dare  do  anything — I 
know  de  man." 

Our  hero  and  Mesty  went  into  the  boat  and  shoved  off, 
pulling  gently  on  shore ;  the  men  were  in  a  state  of 
intoxication,  so  as  not  to  be  able  to  move,  much  less  hear. 


124  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

They  cast  off  the  cutter,  towed  her  on  board,  and  made 
her  fast  with  the  other  boat  astern. 

"Now,  sar,  we  may  go  to  bed;  to-morrow  morning 
you  will  see." 

"They  have  everything  they  require  on  shore,"  replied 
Easy,  "  all  they  could  want  with  the  cutter  would  be  to 
molest  us." 

"  Stop  a  little,"  replied  Mesty. 

Jack  and  Mesty  went  to  bed,  and  as  a  precaution 
against  the  Spaniard,  which  was  hardly  necessary,  Mesty 
locked  the  cabin  door — but  Mesty  never  forgot  anything. 

Jack  slept  little  that  night — had  melancholy  forebodings 
which  he  could  not  shake  off;  indeed.  Jack  had  reflected 
so  much  since  he  had  left  the  ship,  he  had  had  his  eyes  so 
much  opened,  and  had  felt  what  a  responsibility  he  had 
taken  by  indulging  himself  in  a  whim  of  the  moment, 
that  it  might  be  almost  said,  that  in  the  course  of  one 
fortnight  he  had  at  once  from  a  boy  sprung  up  into  a 
man.  He  was  mortified  and  angry,  but  he  was  chiefly 
so  with  himself. 

Mesty  was  up  at  daylight,  and  Jack  soon  followed  him : 
they  watched  the  party  on  shore,  who  had  not  yet  left  the 
tent.  At  last,  just  as  Jack  had  finished  his  breakfast,  one 
or  two  made  their  appearance ;  the  men  looked  about  them 
as  if  they  were  searching  for  something,  and  then  walked 
down  to  the  beach,  to  where  the  boat  had  been  made 
fast.  Jack  looked  at  Mesty,  who  grinned,  and  answered 
with  the  words  so  often  repeated, — 

"  Stop  a  little." 

The  men  then  walked  along  the  rocks  until  they  were 
abreast  of  the  ship. 

"Ship  ahoy!" 

"Halloo,"  replied  Mesty. 

"  Bring  the  boat  ashore  directly,  with  a  beaker  of  water." 

"I  knew  dat,"  cried  Mesty,  rubbing  his  hands  with 
delight.     "  Massa  Easy,  you  must  tell  them  No." 

"  But  why  should  I  not  give  them  water,  Mesty  ? " 

"  Because,  sar,  den  they  take  boat." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  125 

**  Very  true,"  replied  Easy, 

"  Do  you  hear  on  board  ? "  cried  the  coxswain,  who 
was  the  man  who  hailed — "  send  the  boat  immediately, 
or  we'll  cut  the  throats  of  every  mother's  son  of  you,  by 
God ! " 

"  I  shall  not  send  the  boat,"  replied  Jack,  who  now 
thought  Mesty  was  right. 

"  You  won't — won't  you  ? — then  your  doom's  sealed," 
replied  the  man,  walking  up  to  the  tent  with  the  other. 
In  a  short  time  all  the  seamen  turned  out  of  the  tent, 
bringing  with  them  foyr  muskets,  which  they  had  taken 
on  shore  with  them. 

"  Good  heavens !  they  are  not,  surely,  going  to  fire  at 
us,  Mesty." 

"  Stop  a  little." 

The  men  then  came  down  abreast  of  the  ship,  and  the 
coxswain  again  hailed,  and  asked  if  they  would  bring  the 
boat  on  shore. 

"  You  must  say,  No,  sar,"  replied  Mesty. 

"I  feel  I  must,"  replied  Jack;  and  then  he  answered 
the  coxswain,  "  No." 

The  plan  of  the  mutineers  had  been  foreseen  by  the 
wily  negro — it  was  to  swim  off  to  the  boats  which  were 
riding  astern,  and  to  fire  at  him  or  Jack,  if  they  attempted 
to  haul  them  up  alongside  and  defend  them.  To  get  into 
the  boats,  especially  the  smaller  one,  from  out  of  the  water 
was  easy  enough.  Some  of  the  men  examined  their 
priming  and  held  the  muskets  at  their  hips  all  ready, 
with  the  muzzles  towards  the  ship,  while  the  coxswain 
and  two  men  were  throwing  off  their  clothes 

*'  Stop,  for  God's  sake,  stop  ! "  cried  Jack.  "  The 
harbour  is  full  of  ground  sharks, — it  is,  upon  my  soul !  " 

"Do  you  think  to  frighten  us  with  ground  sharks?" 
replied  the  coxswain ;  "  keep  under  cover,  my  lad ;  Jack, 
give  him  a  shot  to  prove  we  are  in  earnest,  and  every  time 
he  or  that  nigger  show  their  heads,  give  them  another,  my 
lads." 

*'  For  God's    sake,  don't  attempt  to  swim,"  said  Jack, 


126  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

in  an  agony ;  "I  will  try  some  means  to  give  you 
water." 

"  Too  late  now — you're  doomed ;  "  and  the  coxswain 
sprang  off  the  rock  into  the  sea,  and  was  followed  by  two 
other  men :  at  the  same  moment  a  musket  was  discharged, 
and  the  bullet  whistled  close  to  our  hero's  ear. 

Mesty  dragged  Jack  from  the  gangway,  who  was  nearly 
fainting  from  agonising  feelings.  He  sank  on  the  deck  for 
a  moment,  and  then  sprang  up  and  ran  to  the  port  to  look 
at  the  men  in  the  water.  He  was  just  in  time  to  see  the 
coxswain  raise  himself  with  a  loud  yell  out  of  the  sea,  and 
then  disappear  in  a  vortex,  which  was  crimsoned  with  his 
blood. 

Mesty  threw  down  his  musket  in  his  hand,  of  which  he 
had  several  already  loaded,  in  case  the  men  should  have 
gained  the  boats. 

"  By  the  powers,  dat  no  use  now  !  " 

Jack  had  covered  his  face  with  his  hands.  But  the 
tragedy  was  not  complete  :  the  other  men,  who  were  in 
the  water,  had  immediately  turned  and  made  for  the  shore ; 
but  before  they  could  reach  it,  two  more  of  these  voracious 
monsters,  attracted  by  the  blood  of  the  coxswain,  had 
flown  to  the  spot,  and  there  was  a  contention  for  the 
fragments  of  their  bodies. 

Mesty,  who  had  seen  this  catastrophe,  turned  towards 
our  hero,  who  still  hid  his  face. 

"I'm  glad  he  no  see  dat,  any  how,"  muttered  Mesty. 

' '  See  what !  "  exclaimed  Jack. 

''Shark  eat  em  all." 

"  Oh,  horrid  !  horrid  !  "  groaned  our  hero. 

"  Yes,  sar,  very  horrid,"  replied  Mesty,  "  and  dat  bullet 
at  your  head  very  horrid.  Suppose  the  sharks  no  take 
them,  what  then  ?  They  kill  us  and  the  sharks  have  our 
body,     I  think  that  more  horrid  still." 

"  Mesty,"  replied  Jack,  seizing  the  negro  convulsively 
by  the  arm,  "  it  was  not  the  sharks — it  was  I, — I  who 
have  murdered  these  men." 

Mesty  looked  at  Jack  with  surprise. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  127 

**  How  dat  possible  ?  " 

*'  If  I  had  not  disobeyed  orders,"  replied  our  hero,  pant- 
ing for  breath,  "  if  I  had  not  shown  them  the  example 
of  disobedience,  this  would  not  have  happened.  How 
could  I  expect  submission  from  them  ?  It's  all  my  fault — 
I  see  it  now — and,  O  God !  when  will  the  sight  be  blotted 
from  my  memory  ? " 

"  Massa  Easy,  I  not  understand  that,"  replied  Mesty : 
*'  I  think  you  talk  foolish — might  as  well  say,  suppose 
Ashantee  men  not  make  war,  this  not  happen ;  for  suppose 
Ashantee  not  make  war,  I  not  slave,  I  not  run  away, — I 
not  come  board  Harpy — I  not  go  in  boat  with  you — I  not 
hinder  men  from  getting  drunk — and  dat  why  they  make 
mutiny — and  the  mutiny  why  the  shark  take  um  ?  " 

Jack  made  no  reply,  but  he  felt  some  consolation  from 
the  counter-argument  of  the  negro. 

The  dreadful  death  of  the  three  mutineers  appeared  to 
have  had  a  sensible  effect  upon  their  companions,  who 
walked  away  from  the  beach  with  their  heads  down  and 
with  measured  steps.  They  were  now  seen  to  be  peram- 
bulating the  island,  probably  in  search  of  that  water  which 
they  required.  At  noon,  they  returned  to  their  tent,  and 
soon  afterwards  were  in  a  state  of  intoxication,  hallooing 
and  shouting  as  the  day  before.  Towards  the  evening 
they  came  down  to  the  beach  abreast  of  the  ship,  each 
with  a  vessel  in  their  hands,  and  perceiving  that  they  had 
attracted  the  notice  of  our  hero  and  Mesty,  tossed  the 
contents  of  the  vessels  up  in  the  air  to  show  that  they  had 
found  water,  and  hooting  and  deriding,  went  back,  dancing, 
leaping,  and  kicking  up  their  heels,  to  renew  their  orgies, 
which  continued  till  after  midnight,  when  they  were  all 
stupefied  as  before. 

The  next  day  Jack  had  recovered  from  the  first  shock 
which  the  catastrophe  had  given  him,  and  he  called  Mesty 
into  the  cabin  to  hold  a  consultation. 

"  Mesty,  how  is  this  to  end  ? " 

"How  you  mean,  sari* — end  here,  or  end  on  board  of 
the  Harpy  ?  " 


128  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  The  Harpy, — there  appears  httle  chance  of  our  seeing 
her  again — we  are  on  a  djesolate  island,  or  what  is  the  same 
thing ;  but  we  will  hope  that  it  will  be  so :  but  how  is 
this  mutiny  to  end  ? " 

"  Massa  Easy,  suppose  I  please,  I  make  it  end  very 
soon,  but  I  not  in  a  hurry." 

*'  How  do  you  mean,  Mesty,  not  in  a  hurry  ? " 

"  Look,  Massa  Easy  ;  you  wish  take  a  cruise,  and  I  wish 
the  same  ting :  now  because  mutiny  you  want  to  go  back 
— but  by  all  de  powers,  you  tink  that  I,  a  prince  in  my 
own  country,  feel  wish  to  go  back  and  boil  kettle  for  de 
young  gentlemen.  No,  Massa  Easy,  gib  me  mutiny — gib 
me  anyting — but — once  I  was  prince,"  replied  Mesty, 
lowering  his  voice  at  the  last  few  emphatic  words. 

"  You  must  one  of  these  days  tell  me  your  history," 
replied  Jack ;  "  but  just  now  let  us  argue  the  point  in 
question.     How  could  you  put  an  end  to  this  mutiny  ? " 

"  By  putting  an  end  to  all  wine.  Suppose  I  go  shore 
after  they  all  drunk,  I  spile  the  casks  in  three  or  four 
places,  and  in  the  morning  all  wine  gone — den  dey  ab  get 
sober,  and  beg  pardon — we  take  dem  on  board,  put  away 
all  arms,  'cept  yours  and  mine,  and  I  like  to  see  the  mutiny 
after  dat.     Blood  and  'ounds — but  I  settle  um,  any  how." 

*'  The  idea  is  very  good,  Mesty, — why  should  we  not 
do  so  ? " 

"  Because  I  not  like  run  de  risk  to  go  ashore — all  for 
what  ?  to  go  back,  boil  de  kettle  for  all  gentlemans — I 
very  happy  here,  Massa,"  replied  Mesty,  carelessly. 

"  And  I  am  very  miserable,"  replied  Jack ;  "  but,  how- 
ever, I  am  completely  in  your  power,  Mesty,  and  I  must, 
I  suppose,  submit." 

"  What  you  say,  Massa  Easy — submit  to  me  i* — no  sar, 
when  you  are  on  board  Harpy  as  officer,  you  talk  with  me 
as  friend,  and  not  treat  me  as  negro  servant.  Massa  Easy, 
I  feel — I  feel  what  I  am,"  continued  Mesty,  striking  his 
bosom,  "I  feel  it  here — for  all  first  time  since  I  leave  my 
country,  I  feel  that  I  am  someting  ;  but,  Massa  Easy,  I  love 
my  friend  as  much  as  I  hate  my  enemy — and  you  nebber 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  129 

submit  to  me — I  too  proud  to  allow  dat,  'cause,  Massa 
Easy — I  am  a  man — and  once,  I  was  a  prince." 

Although  Mesty  did  not  perhaps  explain  by  words  half 
so  well  as  he  did  by  his  countenance  the  full  tide  of  feeling 
which  was  overflowing  in  his  heart.  Jack  fully  understood 
and  felt  it.     He  extended  his  hand  to  Mesty,  and  said — 

*'  Mesty, — that  you  have  been  a  prince,  I  care  little 
about,  although  I  doubt  it  not,  because  you  are  incapable 
of  a  lie  ;  but  you  are  a  man,  and  I  respect  you,  nay,  I  love 
you  as  a  friend — and  with  my  will  we  never  part  again." 

Mesty  took  the  hand  offered  by  Jack.  It  was  the  first 
peace-ofFering  ever  extended  to  him  since  he  had  been  torn 
away  from  his  native  land — the  first  compliment,  the  first 
tribute,  the  first  acknowledgment,  perhaps,  that  he  was 
not  an  inferior  being ;  he  pressed  it  in  silence,  for  he  could 
not  speak ;  but  could  the  feelings  which  were  suffocating 
the  negro  but  have  been  laid  before  sceptics,  they  must 
have  acknowledged  that  at  that  moment  they  were  all  and 
only  such  as  could  do  honour,  not  only  to  the  prince,  but 
even  to  the  Christian.  So  much  was  Mesty  affected  with 
what  had  happened,  that  when  he  dropped  the  hand  of  our 
hero,  he  went  down  into  the  cabin,  finding  it  impossible  to 
continue  the  conversation,  which  was  not  renewed  until  the 
next  morning. 

"  What  is  your  opinion,  Mesty  ?  Tell  me,  and  I  will  be 
governed  by  it." 

"  Den,  sar,  I  tell  you  I  tink  it  right  that  they  first  come 
and  ask  to  come  on  board  before  you  take  them — and,  sar, 
I  tink  it  also  right  as  we  are  but  two  and  they  are  five,  dat 
dey  first  eat  all  their  provisions.  Let  'em  starve  plenty, 
and  den  dey  come  on  board  tame  enough." 

"  At  all  events,"  replied  Jack,  "  the  first  overtures  of 
some  kind  or  another  must  come  from  them.  I  wish  I  had 
something  to  do — I  do  not  much  like  this  cooping  up  on 
board  ship." 

"  Massa,  why  you  no  talk  with  Pedro  ?  " 

*'  Because  I  cannot  speak  Spanish." 

*'  I  know  dat,  and  dat  why  I  ask  de  question.  You  very 
E  I 


130  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

sorry  when  you  meet  the  two  pretty  women  in  the  ship, 
you  not  able  to  talk  with  them,  I  guess  that." 

"  I  was  very  sorry,  I  grant,"  replied  Jack. 

"Well,  Massa  Easy,  by-and-bye  we  see  more  Spanish 
girl.  Why  not  talk  all  day  with  Pedro,  and  den  you  able 
to  talk  with  dem." 

"  Upon  my  word,  Mesty,  I  never  had  an  idea  of  your 
value.  I  will  learn  all  the  Spanish  that  I  can,"  replied 
Jack,  who  was  glad  to  have  employment  found  for  him, 
and  was  quite  disgusted  with  the  articles  of  war. 

As  for  the  men  on  shore,  they  continued  the  same 
course  as  before,  one  day  succeeded  another,  and  with- 
out variety.  It  was,  however,  to  be  observed  that  the 
fire  was  now  seldomer  lighted,  which  proved  their  fuel 
scarce,  and  the  weather  was  not  so  warm  as  it  had  been, 
for  it  was  now  October.  Jack  learnt  Spanish  from 
Pedro  for  a  month,  during  which  there  was  no  appearance 
of  submission  on  the  part  of  the  mutineers,  who,  for  the 
first  fortnight,  when  intoxicated,  used  to  come  down  and 
fire  at  Jack  or  Mesty  when  they  made  their  appearance. 
Fortunately  drunken  men  are  not  good  marksmen  j  but 
latterly  this  had  been  discontinued,  because  they  had 
expended  their  ammunition,  and  they  appeared  to  have 
almost  forgotten  that  the  ship  was  there,  for  they  took  no 
notice  of  her  whatever. 

On  the  other  hand,  Jack  had  decided  that  if  he  waited 
there  a  year  the  overtures  should  come  from  them  who 
had  mutinied ;  and  now,  having  an  occupation,  he  passed 
his  time  very  quietly,  and  the  days  flew  so  fast  that  two 
months  had  actually  been  run  off  the  calendar  before  he 
bad  an  idea  of  it. 

One  evening  as  they  were  down  in  the  cabin,  for  the 
evenings  had  now  become  very  cold,  Jack  asked  Mesty 
whether  he  had  any  objection  to  give  him  a  history  of  his 
life.  Mesty  replied  that  if  he  wished  he  was  ready  to 
talk,  and  at  a  nod  fi'om  our  hero  Mesty  commenced  as 
follows. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  131 

Chapter  XV 

In  which  mutiny,  like  fire,  is  quenched  for  want  of  fuel  and  no  want  of 

water. 

Although  we  have  made  the  African  negro  hitherto  talk 
in  his  own  mixed  jargon,  yet,  as  we  consider  that,  in  a 
long  narration,  it  will  be  tedious  to  the  reader,  we  shall 
now  translate  the  narrative  part  into  good  English,  merely 
leaving  the  conversation  with  which  it  may  be  broken,  in 
its  peculiar  dialect. 

"The  first  thing  I  recollect,"  said  Mesty,  "is,  that  I 
was  carried  on  the  shoulders  of  a  man  with  my  legs 
hanging  down  before,  and  holding  on  by  his  head. 

"  Every  one  used  to  look  at  me  and  get  out  of  the  way,  as 
I  rode  through  the  town  and  market-place,  so  loaded  with 
heavy  gold  ornaments  that  I  could  not  bear  them,  and  was 
glad  when  the  women  took  them  off;  but  as  I  grew  older  I 
became  proud  of  them,  because  I  knew  that  I  was  the  son  of 
a  king.  I  lived  happy.  I  did  nothing  but  shoot  my  arrows, 
and  I  had  a  little  sword  which  I  was  taught  to  handle,  and 
the  great  captains  who  were  about  my  father  showed  me 
how  to  kill  my  enemies.  Sometimes  I  laid  under  the 
shady  trees,  sometimes  I  was  with  the  women  belonging 
to  my  father ;  sometimes  I  was  with  him  and  played  with 
the  skulls,  and  repeated  the  names  of  those  to  whom  they 
had  belonged,  for  in  our  country,  when  we  kill  our 
enemies,  we  keep  their  skulls  as  trophies. 

"As  I  grew  older,  I  did  as  I  pleased;  I  beat  the  women 
and  the  slaves ;  I  think  I  killed  some  of  the  latter — I  know 
I  did  one,  to  try  whether  I  could  strike  well  with  my  two- 
handed  sword  made  of  hard  and  heavy  wood, — but  that  is 
nothing  in  our  country.  I  longed  to  be  a  great  captain, 
and  I  thought  of  nothing  else  but  war  and  fighting,  and 
how  many  skulls  I  should  have  in  my  possession  when  I 
had  a  house  and  wives  of  my  own,  and  I  was  no  longer  a 
boy.     I  went  out  in  the  woods  to  hunt,  and  I  stayed  for 


132  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

weeks.  And  one  day  I  saw  a  panther  basking  in  the  sun, 
waving  his  graceful  tail.  I  crept  up  softly  till  I  was  behind 
a  rock  within  three  yards  of  it,  and  drawing  my  arrow  to 
the  head,  I  pierced  him  through  the  body.  The  animal 
bounded  up  in  the  air,  saw  me,  roared  and  made  a  spring, 
but  I  dropped  behind  the  rock,  and  he  passed  over  me. 
He  turned  again  to  me,  but  I  had  my  knife  ready,  and,  as 
he  fixed  his  talons  into  my  shoulder  and  breast,  I  pierced 
him  to  the  heart.  This  was  the  happiest  day  of  my  life ; 
I  had  killed  a  panther  without  assistance,  and  I  had  the 
wounds  to  show.  Although  I  was  severely  hurt,  I  thought 
nothing  of  it.  I  took  off  the  skin  as  my  blood  dropped 
down  and  mixed  with  that  of  the  beast — but  I  rejoiced  in 
it.  Proudly  did  I  go  into  the  town  dripping  with  gore 
and  smarting  with  pain.  Every  one  extolled  the  feat, 
called  me  a  hero  and  a  great  captain.  I  filed  my  teeth, 
and  I  became  a  man. 

"  From  that  day  I  ranked  among  the  warriors,  and,  as 
soon  as  my  wounds  were  healed,  I  went  out  to  battle.  In 
three  fights  I  had  gained  five  skulls,  and  when  I  returned 
they  weighed  me  out  gold.  I  then  had  a  house  and  wives, 
and  my  father  appointed  me  a  Caboceer.  I  wore  the 
plume  of  eagle  and  ostrich  feathers,  my  dress  was  covered 
with  fetishes,  I  pulled  on  the  boots  with  bells,  and  with 
my  bow  and  arrows  slung  on  my  back,  my  spear  and 
blunderbuss,  my  knives  and  my  double-handed  sword,  I 
led  the  men  to  battle  and  brought  back  skulls  and  slaves. 
Every  one  trembled  at  my  name,  and,  if  my  father 
threatened  to  send  me  out,  gold-dust  covered  the  floor  of 
his  hall  of  council — Now,  I  boil  the  kettle  for  the  young 
gentlemen  i 

"  There  was  one  man  I  liked.  He  was  not  a  warrior, 
or  I  should  have  hated  him,  but  he  was  brought  up  with 
me  in  my  father's  house,  and  was  a  near  relative.  I  was 
grave  and  full  of  pride,  he  was  gay  and  fond  of  music ; 
and  although  there  was  no  music  to  me  equal  to  the  tom- 
tom, yet  I  did  not  always  wish  for  excitement.  I  often  was 
melancholy,  and  then  I  liked  to  lay  my  head  in  the  lap  of 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  133 

one  of  my  wives,  under  the  shady  forest  behind  my  house, 
and  listen  to  his  soft  music.  At  last  he  went  to  a  town 
near  us  where  his  father  lived,  and  as  he  departed  I  gave 
him  gold-dust.  He  had  been  sent  to  my  father  to  be 
formed  into  a  warrior,  but  he  had  no  strength  of  body, 
and  he  had  no  soul  j  still  I  loved  him,  because  he  was  not 
like  myself.  There  was  a  girl  in  the  town  who  was 
beautiful ;  many  asked  for  her  as  their  wife,  but  her  father 
had  long  promised  her  to  my  friend ;  he  refused  even  the 
greatest  warrior  of  the  place,  who  went  away  in  wrath  to 
the  fetishman,  and  throwing  him  his  gold  armlets  asked 
for  a  fetish  against  his  rival.  It  was  given,  and  two  days 
before  he  was  to  be  married  my  friend  died.  His  mother 
came  to  me,  and  it  was  enough.  I  put  on  my  war  dress, 
I  seized  my  weapons,  sat  ■  for  a  whole  day  with  my  skulls 
before  me,  working  up  my  revenge,  called  out  my  men, 
and  that  night  set  off  for  the  town  where  the  warrior 
resided,  killed  two  of  his  relatives  and  carried  off  ten  of 
his  slaves.  When  he  heard  what  I  had  done,  he  trembled 
and  sent  gold  j  but  I  knew  that  he  had  taken  the  girl 
home  as  his  wife,  and  I  would  not  listen  to  the  old  man 
who  sought  to  pacify  me.  Again  I  collected  a  larger  force 
and  attacked  him  in  the  night :  we  fought,  for  he  was 
prepared  with  his  men,  but  after  a  struggle  he  was  beaten 
back.  I  fired  his  house,  wasted  his  provision  ground,  and 
taking  away  more  slaves,  I  returned  home  with  my  men, 
intending  soon  to  assault  him  again.  The  next  day  there 
came  more  messengers,  who  knelt  in  vain ;  so  they  went 
to  my  father,  and  many  warriors  begged  him  to  interfere. 
My  father  sent  for  me,  but  I  would  not  listen ;  the 
warriors  spoke,  and  I  turned  my  back:  my  father  was 
wroth  and  threatened,  the  warriors  brandished  their  two- 
handed  swords — they  dared  to  do  it ;  I  looked  over  my 
shoulder  with  contempt,  and  I  returned  to  my  house.  I 
took  down  my  skulls,  and  I  planned.  It  was  evening,  and 
I  was  alone,  when  a  woman  covered  up  to  the  eyes 
approached ;  she  fell  down  before  me  as  she  exposed  her 
face. 


134  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

*' '  I  am  the  girl  who  was  promised  to  your  relation,  and 
I  am  now  the  wife  of  your  enemy.  I  shall  be  a  mother. 
I  could  not  love  your  relation,  for  he  was  no  warrior.  It 
is  not  true  that  my  husband  asked  for  a  fetish — it  was  I 
who  bought  it,  for  I  would  not  wed  him.  Kill  me  and 
be  satisfied.' 

"  She  was  very  beautiful,  and  I  wondered  not  that  my 
enemy  loved  her — and  she  was  with  child — it  was  his  child, 
and  she  had  fetished  my  friend  to  death.  I  raised  my 
sword  to  strike,  and  she  did  not  shrink :  it  saved  her  life. 
'  Thou  art  fit  to  be  the  mother  of  warriors,'  said  I,  as  I 
dropped  my  sword,  *  and  thou  shalt  be  my  wife,  but  first 
his  child  shall  be  born,  and  I  will  have  thy  husband's 
skull.' 

"  *  No,  no,*  replied  she,  *  I  will  be  the  mother  of  no 
warriors  but  by  my  present  husband,  whom  I  love ;  if  you 
keep  me  as  your  slave  I  will  die.' 

*'  I  told  her  she  said  foolish  things,  and  sent  her  to  the 
women's  apartment,  with  orders  to  be  watched — but  she 
hardly  had  been  locked  up  before  she  drew  her  knife, 
plunged  it  into  her  heart,  and  died. 

"When  the  king  my  father  heard  this  he  sent  me  a 
message — *  Be  satisfied  with  the  blood  that  has  been  shed, 
it  is  enough  ; '  but  I  turned  away,  for  I  wished  for  mine 
enemy's  skull.  That  night  I  attacked  him  again,  and  met 
him  hand  to  hand ;  I  killed  him,  and  carried  home  his  skull, 
and  I  was  appeased. 

*'  But  all  the  great  warriors  were  wroth,  and  my  father 
could  not  restrain  them.  They  called  out  their  men,  and 
I  called  out  my  men,  and  I  had  a  large  body,  for  my  name 
was  terrible.  But  the  force  raised  against  me  was  twice 
that  of  mine,  and  I  retreated  to  the  bush — after  awhile  we 
met  and  fought,  and  I  killed  many,  but  my  men  were  too 
few,  and  were  overpowered — the  fetish  had  been  sent  out 
against  me,  and  their  hearts  melted ;  at  last  I  sank  down 
with  my  wounds,  for  I  bled  at  every  pore,  and  I  told  my 
men  who  were  about  me  to  take  off  my  feathers,  and  my 
dress  and  boots,  that  my  enemies  might  not  have  my  skull : 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  135 

they  did  so,  and  I  crawled  into  the  bush  to  die.  But  I 
was  not  to  die ;  I  was  recovering,  when  I  was  discovered 
by  those  who  steal  men  to  sell  them :  I  was  bound,  and 
fastened  to  a  chain  with  many  more.  I,  a  prince  and  a 
warrior,  who  could  show  the  white  skulls  of  his  enemies 
— I  offered  to  procure  gold,  but  they  derided  me ;  they 
dragged  me  down  to  the  coast,  and  sold  me  to  the  Whites. 
Little  did  I  think,  in  my  pride,  that  I  should  be  a  slave. 
I  knew  that  I  was  to  die,  and  hoped  to  die  in  battle :  my 
skull  would  have  been  more  prized  than  all  the  gold  in 
the  earth,  and  my  skin  would  have  been  stuffed  and  hung 
up  in  a  fetish-house — instead  of  which,  I  now  boil  the 
kettle  for  the  young  gentlemen  !  " 

**  Well,"  replied  Jack,  "  that's  better  than  being  killed 
and  stuffed." 

"  Mayhap  it  is,"  replied  Mesty,  **  I  tink  very  different 
now  dan  I  tink  den — but  still,  it  women's  work  and  not 
suit  me." 

"  They  put  me  with  others  into  a  cave  until  the  ship 
came,  and  then  we  were  sent  on  board,  put  in  irons,  and 
down  in  the  hold,  where  you  could  not  sit  upright — I 
wanted  to  die,  but  could  not :  others  died  every  day,  but  I 
lived — I  was  landed  in  America,  all  bone,  and  I  fetched 
very  little  money — they  laughed  at  me,  as  they  bid  their 
dollars :  at  last  a  man  took  me  away,  and  I  was  on  a 
plantation  with  hundreds  more,  but  too  ill  to  work,  and  not 
intending  to  work.  The  other  slaves  asked  me  if  I  was  a 
fetish  man ;  I  said  yes,  and  I  would  fetish  any  man  that  I 
did  not  like :  one  man  laughed,  and  I  held  up  my  finger ; 
I  was  too  weak  to  get  up,  for  my  blood  had  long  boiled 
with  fever,  and  I  said  to  him  *  you  shall  die  j '  for  I  meant  to 
have  killed  him  as  soon  as  I  was  well.  He  went  away, 
and  in  three  days  he  was  dead.  I  don't  know  how,  but 
all  the  slaves  feared  me,  and  my  master  feared  me,  for  he 
had  seen  the  man  die,  and  he,  although  he  was  a  white 
man,  believed  in  fetish,  and  he  wished  to  sell  me  again,  but 
no  one  would  buy  a  fetish  man,  so  he  made  friends  with 
me  ;  for  I  told  him  if  I  was  beat  he  should  die,  and  he 


136  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

believed  me.  He  took  me  into  his  house,  and  I  was  his 
chief  man,  and  I  would  not  let  the  other  slaves  steal  and 
he  was  content.  He  took  me  with  him  to  New  York,  and 
there,  after  two  years,  when  I  had  learnt  English,  I  ran 
away,  and  got  on  board  of  an  English  ship — and  they  told 
me  to  cook.  I  left  the  ship  as  soon  as  I  came  to  England, 
and  offered  myself  to  another,  and  they  said  they  did  not 
want  a  cook ;  and  I  went  to  another,  and  they  asked  me  if 
I  was  a  good  cook :  everybody  seemed  to  think  that  a 
black  man  must  be  a  cook,  and  nothing  else.  At  last  I  starve, 
and  I  go  on  board  a  man-of-war,  and  here  I  am,  after 
having  been  a  warrior  and  a  prince,  cook,  steward  and 
everyting  else,  boiling  kettle  for  de  young  gentlemen." 

"  Well,"  replied  Jack,  '*  at  all  events  that  is  better  than 
being  a  slave." 

Mesty  made  no  reply :  any  one  who  knows  the  life 
of  a  midshipman's  servant  will  not  be  surprised  at  his 
silence. 

"  Now,  tell  me,  do  you  think  you  were  right  in  being 
so  revengeful,  when  you  were  in  your  own  country  ? " 
inquired  Jack. 

"I  tink  so  den,  Massa  Easy  ;  sometimes  when  my  blood 
boil,  I  tink  so  now — oder  time,  I  no  know  what  to  tink 
— but  when  a  man  love  very  much,  he  hate  very  much." 

"  But  you  are  now  a  Christian,  Mesty." 

"I  hear  all  that  your  people  say,"  replied  the  negro, 
**  and  it  make  me  tink — I  no  longer  believe  in  fetish, 
anyhow." 

"  Our  religion  tells  us  to  love  our  enemies." 

"  Yes,  I  heard  parson  say  dat — but  den  what  we  do 
with  our  friends,  Massa  Easy  ?  " 

"  Love  them  too." 

"  I  no  understand  dat,  Massa  Easy — I  love  you,  because 
you  good,  and  treat  me  well — Mr  Vigors,  he  bully,  and 
treat  me  ill — how  possible  to  love  him  ?  By  de  power,  I 
hate  him,  and  wish  I  had  him  skull.  You  tink  little  Massa 
Gossitt  love  him  ?  " 

**  No,"   replied   Jack,    laughing,    "  I'm.    afraid    that   he 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  137 

would  like  to  have  his  skull  as  well  as  you,  Meaty — but 
at  all  events  we  must  try  and  forgive  those  who  injure 
us." 

"Then,  Massa  Easy,  I  tink  so  too — too  much  revenge 
very  bad — it  very  easy  to  hate,  but  not  very  easy  to 
forgive — so  I  tink  that  if  a  man  forgive,  he  hab  more  soul 
in  him,  he  more  of  a  man." 

**  After  all,"  thought  Jack,  **  Mesty  is  about  as  good  a 
Christian  as  most  people." 

"  What  that  ? "  cried  Mesty,  looking  out  of  the  cabin 
window — "  Ah  !  d — n  drunken  dogs — they  set  fire  to 
tent." 

Jack  looked,  and  perceived  that  the  tent  on  shore  was 
in  flames. 

**  I  tink  these  cold  nights  cool  their  courage,  anyhow," 
observed  Mesty — "  Massa  Easy,  you  see  they  soon  ask 
permission  to  come  on  board." 

Jack  thought  so  too,  and  was  most  anxious  to  be  off; 
for,  on  looking  into  the  lockers  in  the  state-room,  he  had 
found  a  chart  of  the  Mediterranean,  which  he  had  studied 
very  attentively — he  had  found  out  the  rock  of  Gibraltar, 
and  had  traced  the  Harpy's  course  up  to  Cape  de  Gatte, 
and  thence  to  Tarragona  —  and,  after  a  while,  had 
summoned  Mesty  to  a  cabinet  council. 

"See,  Mesty,"  said  Jack,  "I  begin  to  make  it  out,  here 
is  Gibraltar,  and  Cape  de  Gatte,  and  Tarragona — it  was 
hereabout  we  were  when  we  took  the  ship,  and,  if  you 
recollect,  we  had  passed  Cape  de  Gatte  two  days  before 
we  were  blown  off  from  the  land,  so  that  we  had  gone 
about  twelve  inches,  and  had  only  four  more  to  go." 

'*  Yes,  Massa  Easy,  I  see  all  dat." 

"Well,  then,  we  were  blown  off  shore  by  the  wind, 
and  must  of  course  have  come  down  this  way  j  and  here 
you  see  are  three  little  islands,  called  ZafFarine  Islands, 
and  with  no  names  of  towns  upon  them,  and  therefore 
uninhabited  ;  and  you  see  they  lie  just  like  the  islands  we 
are  anchored  among  now — we  must  be  at  the  ZaiFarine 
Islands — and  only  six  inches  from  Gibraltar." 


138  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  I  see,  Massa  Easy,  dat  all  right — but  six  debbelish 
long  inches." 

"  Now,  Mesty,  you  know  the  compass  on  deck  has  a 
flourishing  thing  for  the  north  point — and  here  is  a  compass 
with  a  north  point  also.  Now  the  north  point  from  the 
ZaiFarine  Islands  leads  out  to  the  Spanish  coast  again,  and 
Gibraltar  lies  five  or  six  points  of  the  compass  to  this  side 
of  it — if  we  steer  that  way  we  shall  get  to  Gibraltar." 

"  All  right,  Massa  Easy,"  replied  Mesty,  and  Jack  was 
right,  with  the  exception  of  the  variation,  which  he  knew 
nothing  about. 

To  make  sure,  Jack  brought  one  of  the  compasses  down 
from  deck,  and  compared  them.  He  then  lifted  off  the 
glass,  counted  the  points  of  the  compass  to  the  westward, 
and  marked  the  corresponding  one  on  the  binnacle  compass 
with  his  pen. 

**  There,"  said  he,  "  that  is  the  way  to  Gibraltar,  and 
as  soon  as  the  mutiny  is  quelled,  and  the  wind  is  fair,  I'll 
be  off." 

Chapter  XVI 

In  which  Jack's  cruise  is  ended,  and  he  regains  the  Harpy. 

A  FEW  more  days  passed,  and,  as  was  expected,  the 
mutineers  could  hold  out  no  longer.  In  the  first  place, 
they  had  put  in  the  spile  of  the  second  cask  of  wine 
so  loosely  when  they  were  tipsy  that  it  dropped  out,  and 
all  the  wine  ran  out,  so  that  there  had  been  none  left  for 
three  or  four  days ;  in  the  next  their  fuel  had  long  been 
expended,  and  they  had  latterly  eaten  their  meat  raw :  the 
loss  of  their  tent,  which  had  been  fired  by  their  careless- 
ness, had  been  followed  by  four  days  and  nights  of 
continual  rain.  Everything  they  had  had  been  soaked 
^hrough  and  through,  and  they  were  worn  out,  shivering 
with  cold,  and  starving.  Hanging  they  thought  better 
than  dying  by  inches  from  starvation  -,  and  yielding 
to  the  imperious  demands  of  hunger,  they  came  down  to 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  139 

the  beach,  abreast  of  the  ship,  and  dropped  down  on  their 
knees. 

"I  tell  you  so,  Massa  Easy,"  said  Mesty  :  "  d — n  rascals, 
they  forget  they  come  down  fire  musket  at  us  every  day  : 
by  all  de  powers,  Mesty  not  forget  it," 

*'  Ship  ahoy  !  "  cried  one  of  the  men  on  shore. 

*'  "What  do  you  want  ? "  replied  Jack. 

*'  Have  pity  on  us,  sir — mercy  ! "  exclaimed  the  other 
men,  "  we  will  return  to  our  duty." 

"  Debbie  doubt  'em  !  " 

"  What  shall  I  say,  Mesty  ?  " 

"  Tell  'em  no,  first,  Massa  Easy — tell  'em  to  starve  and 
be  d— d." 

"I  cannot  take  mutineers  on  board,"  replied  Jack. 

**  Well,  then,  our  blood  be  on  your  hands,  Mr  Easy," 
replied  the  first  man  who  had  spoken.  "If  we  are  to  die, 
it  must  not  be  by  inches — if  you  will  not  take  us,  the 
sharks  shall — it  is  but  a  crunch,  and  all  is  over.  What  do 
you  say,  my  lads  ?  let's  all  rush  in  together  :  good-bye, 
Mr  Easy,  I  hope  you'll  forgive  us  when  we're  dead  :  it  was 
all  that  rascal  Johnson,  the  coxswain,  v/ho  persuaded  us. 
Come,  my  lads,  it's  no  use  thinking  of  it,  the  sooner  done 
the  better — let  us  shake  hands,  and  then  make  one  run 
of  it." 

It  appeared  that  the  poor  fellows  had  already  made  up 
their  minds  to  do  this,  if  our  hero,  persuaded  by  Mesty, 
had  refused  to  take  them  on  board  ;  they  shook  hands  all 
round,  and  then  walking  a  few  yards  from  the  beach,  stood 
in  a  line  while  the  man  gave  the  signal — one — two — 

**  Stop,"  cried  Jack,  who  had  not  forgotten  the  dreadful 
scene  which  had  already  taken  place, — "  stop." 

The  men  paused. 

"  What  will  you  promise  if  I  take  you  on  board  ?  " 

"  To  do  our  duty  cheerfully  till  we  join  the  ship,  and 
then  be  hung  as  an  example  to  all  mutineers,"  replied  the 
men. 

**  Dat  very  fair,"  replied  Mesty  ;  "  take  dem  at  their 
word,  Massa  Easy." 


140  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"Very  well,**  replied  Jack,  "I  accept  your  conditions  ; 
and  we  will  come  for  you." 

Jack  and  Mesty  hauled  up  the  boat,  stuck  their  pistols  in 
their  belts,  and  pulled  to  the  shore.  The  men,  as  they 
stepped  in,  touched  their  hats  respectfully  to  our  hero,  but 
said  nothing.  On  their  arrival  on  board,  Jack  read  that 
part  of  the  articles  of  war  relative  to  mutiny,  by  which  the 
men  were  reminded  of  the  very  satisfactory  fact,  *'  that 
they  were  to  suffer  death  ;  "  and  then  made  a  speech  which, 
to  men  who  were  starving,  appeared  to  be  interminable. 
However,  there  is  an  end  to  everything  in  this  world,  and 
so  there  was  to  Jack's  harangue ;  after  which  Mesty  gave 
them  some  biscuit,  which  they  devoured  in  thankfulness, 
until  they  could  get  something  better.  The  next  morning 
the  wind  was  fair,  they  weighed  their  kedge  with  some 
difficulty,  and  ran  out  of  the  harbour :  the  men  appeared 
very  contrite,  worked  well,  but  in  silence,  for  they  had  no 
very  pleasant  anticipations ;  but  hope  always  remains  with 
us  J  and  each  of  the  men,  although  he  had  no  doubt  but 
that  the  others  would  be  hung,  hoped  that  he  would  escape 
with  a  sound  flogging.  The  wind,  however,  did  not  allow 
them  to  steer  their  course  long  j  before  night  it  was 
contrary,  and  they  fell  off  three  points  to  the  northward. 
"However,"  as  Jack  observed,  "at  all  events  we  shall 
make  the  Spanish  coast,  and  then  we  must  run  down  it  to 
Gibraltar  :  I  don't  care — I  understand  navigation  much 
better  than  I  did."  The  next  morning  they  found  them- 
selves with  a  very  light  breeze,  under  a  high  cape,  and,  as 
the  sun  rose,  they  observed  a  large  vessel  in-shore,  about 
two  miles  to  the  westward  of  them,  and  another  outside, 
about  four  miles  off.  Mesty  took  the  glass  and  examined 
the  one  outside,  which,  on  a  sudden,  had  let  fall  all  her 
canvas,  and  was  now  running  for  the  shore,  steering  for 
the  cape  under  which  Jack's  vessel  lay.  Mesty  put  down 
the  glass. 

"  Massa  Easy — I  tink  dat  de  Harpy." 

One  of  the  seamen  took  the  glass  and  examined  her, 
while  the  others  who  stood  by  showed  great  agitation. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  141 

**  Yes,  it  is  the  Harpy^^  said  the  seaman.  **  Oh !  Mr 
Easy,  will  you  forgive  us  ?  "  continued  the  man,  and  he 
and  the  others  fell  on  their  knees.  "  Do  not  tell  all,  for 
God's  sake,  Mr  Easy." 

Jack's  heart  melted ;  he  looked  at  Mesty. 

"  I  tink,"  said  Mesty,  apart  to  our  hero,  "  dat  with  what 
them  hab  suffer  already,  suppose  they  get  seven  dozen  a- 
piece,  dat  quite  enough." 

Jack  thought  that  even  half  that  punishment  would 
suffice  j  so  he  told  the  men,  that  although  he  must  state 
what  had  occurred,  he  would  not  tell  all,  and  would  contrive 
to  get  them  off  as  well  as  he  could.  He  was  about  to  make 
a  long  speech,  but  a  gun  from  the  Harpy,  which  had  now 
come  up  within  range,  made  him  defer  it  till  a  more  con- 
venient opportunity.  At  the  same  time  the  vessel  in-shore 
hoisted  Spanish  colours  and  fired  a  gun. 

"By  de  powers  but  we  got  in  the  middle  of  it,"  cried 
Mesty  ;  "  Harpy  tink  us  Spaniard.  Now,  my  lads,  get  all 
gun  ready,  bring  up  powder  and  shot.  Massa,  now  us  fire 
at  Spaniard — Harpy  not  fire  at  us — no  ab  English  colours 
on  board — dat  all  we  must  do." 

The  men  set  to  with  a  will ;  the  guns  were  all  loaded, 
and  were  soon  cast  loose  and  primed,  during  which  opera- 
tions it  fell  calm,  and  the  sails  of  all  three  vessels  flapped 
against  their  masts.  The  Harpy  was  then  about  two  miles 
from  Jack's  vessel,  and  the  Spaniard  about  a  mile  from  him, 
with  all  her  boats  ahead  of  her,  towing  towards  him ; 
Mesty  examined  the  Spanish  vessel. 

**  Dat  man-of-war,  Massa  Easy, — what  de  debbel  we 
do  for  colour .?  must  hoist  someting." 

Mesty  ran  down  below  5  he  recollected  that  there  was 
a  very  gay  petticoat,  which  had  been  left  by  the  old  lady 
who  was  in  the  vessel  when  they  captured  her.  It  was 
of  green  silk,  with  yellow  and  blue  flowers,  but  very 
faded,  having  probably  been  in  the  Don's  family  for  a 
century.  Mesty  had  found  it  under  the  mattress  of  one 
of  the  beds,  and  had  put  it  into  his  bag,  intending  pro- 
bably to  cut   it   up  into  waistcoats.     He  soon  appeared 


142  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

with  this  under  his  arm,  made  it  fast  to  the  peak  halyards 
and  hoisted  it  up. 

*'  Dere,  Massa,  dat  do  very  well — dat  what  you  call 
*  all  nation  colour.^  Everybody  strike  him  flag  to  dat — men 
nebber  pull  it  down,"  said  Mesty,  '*  anyhow.  Now  den, 
ab  hoist  colour,  we  fire  away — mind  you  only  fire  one 
gun  at  a  time,  and  point  um  well,  den  ab  time  to  load 
again." 

"  She's  hoisted  her  colours,  sir,"  said  Sawbridge,  on 
board  of  the  Harpy;  "but  they  do  not  show  out  clear, 
and  it's  impossible  to  distinguish  them;  but  there's  a 
gun." 

"It's  not  at  us,  sir,"  said  Gascoigne,  the  midshipman; 
"  it's  at  the  Spanish  vessel — I  saw  the  shot  fall  ahead  of 
her." 

"It  must  be  a  privateer,"  said  Captain  Wilson;  "at 
all  events,  it  is  very  fortunate,  for  the  corvette  would 
otherwise  have  towed  into  Carthagena.  Another  gun, 
round  and  grape,  and  well  pointed  too ;  she  carries  heavy 
metal,  that  craft :  she  must  be  a  Maltese  privateer." 

"  That's  as  much  as  to  say  that  she's  a  pirate,"  replied 
Sawbridge ;  "I  can  make  nothing  of  her  colours — they 
appear  to  me  to  be  green — she  must  be  a  Turk.  Another 
gun — and  devilish  well  aimed ;  it  has  hit  the  boats." 

"  Yes,  they  are  all  in  confusion :  we  will  have  her  now, 
if  we  can  only  get  a  trifle  of  wind.  That  is  a  breeze 
coming  up  in  the  offing.     Trim  the  sails,  Mr  Sawbridge." 

The  yards  were  squared,  and  the  Harpy  soon  had 
steerage-way.  In  the  meantime  Jack  and  his  few  men 
had  kept  up  a  steady,  well-directed,  although  slow,  fire 
with  their  larboard  guns  upon  the  Spanish  corvette ;  and 
two  of  her  boats  had  been  disabled.  The  Harpy  brought 
the  breeze  up  with  her,  and  was  soon  within  range ; 
she  steered  to  cut  off  the  corvette,  firing  only  on  her  bow- 
chasers. 

"  We  ab  her  now,"  cried  Mesty  ;  "  fire  away, — men, 
take  good  aim.  Breeze  come  now ;  one  man  go  to  helm 
By  de  power  what  dat  ?  " 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  143 

The  exclamation  of  Mesty  was  occasioned  by  a  shot 
hulhng  the  ship  on  the  starboard  side.  Jack  and  he  ran 
over,  and  perceived  that  three  Spanish  gun-boats  had  just 
made  their  appearance  round  the  point,  and  had  attacked 
them.  The  fact  was,  that  on  the  other  side  of  the  cape 
was  the  port  and  town  of  Carthagena,  and  these  gun-boats 
had  been  sent  out  to  the  assistance  of  the  corvette.  The 
ship  had  now  caught  the  breeze,  fortunately  for  Jack, 
or  he  would  probably  have  been  taken  into  Carthagena ; 
and  the  corvette,  finding  herself  cut  off  by  both  the  Harpy 
and  Jack's  vessel,  as  soon  as  the  breeze  came  up  to  her, 
put  her  head  the  other  way,  and  tried  to  escape  by  running 
westward  along  the  coast  close  in-shore.  Another  shot, 
and  then  another,  pierced  the  hull  of  the  ship,  and  wounded 
two  of  Jack's  men ;  but  as  the  corvette  had  turned,  and 
the  Harpy  followed  her,  of  course  Jack  did  the  same, 
and  in  ten  minutes  he  was  clear  of  the  gun-boats,  who 
did  not  venture  to  make  sail  and  stand  after  him.  The 
wind  now  freshened  fast,  and  blew  out  the  green  petticoat, 
but  the  Harpy  was  exchanging  broadsides  with  the  corvette, 
and  too  busy  to  look  after  Jack's  ensign.  The  Spaniard 
defended  himself  well,  and  had  the  assistance  of  the 
batteries  as  he  passed,  but  there  was  no  anchorage  until 
he  had  run  many  miles  further.  About  noon,  the  wind 
died  away,  and  at  one  o'clock  it  again  fell  nearly  calm ; 
but  the  Harpy  had  neared  her  distance,  and  was  now 
within  three  cables'  length  of  her  antagonist,  engaging 
her  and  a  battery  of  four  guns.  Jack  came  up  again,  for 
he  had  the  last  of  the  breeze,  and  was  about  half  a  mile 
from  the  corvette  when  it  fell  calm.  By  the  advice  of 
Mesty,  he  did  not  fire  any  more,  as  otherwise  the  Harpy 
would  not  obtain  so  much  credit,  and  it  was  evident  that 
the  fire  of  the  Spaniard  slackened  fast.  At  three  o'clock 
the  Spanish  colours  were  hauled  down,  and  the  Harpy, 
sending  a  boat  on  board  and  taking  possession,  directed 
her  whole  fire  upon  the  battery,  which  was  soon  silenced. 

The  calm  continued,  and  the  Harpy  was  busy  enough 
with  the  prize,  shifting  the  prisoners  and  refitting  both 


144  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

vessels,  which  had  very  much  suffered  in  the  sails  and 
rigging.  There  was  an  occasional  wonder  on  board  the 
Harpy  what  that  strange  vessel  might  be,  who  had  turned 
the  corvette  and  enabled  them  to  capture  her,  but  when 
people  are  all  very  busy,  there  is  not  much  time  for 
surmise. 

Jack's  crew,  with  himself,  consisted  but  of  eight,  one 
of  which  was  a  Spaniard,  and  two  were  wounded.  It 
therefore  left  him  but  four,  and  he  had  also  something 
to  do,  which  was  to  assist  his  wounded  men,  and  secure 
his  guns.  Moreover,  Mesty  did  not  think  it  prudent  to 
leave  the  vessel  a  mile  from  the  Harpy  with  only  two  on 
board  \  besides,  as  Jack  said,  he  had  had  no  dinner,  and 
was  not  quite  sure  that  he  should  find  anything  to  eat 
when  he  went  into  the  midshipmen's  berth ;  he  would 
therefore  have  some  dinner  cooked,  and  eat  it  before  he 
went  on  board  \  in  the  meantime,  they  would  try  and 
close  with  her.  Jack  took  things  always  very  easy,  and 
he  said  he  should  report  himself  at  sunset.  There  were 
other  reasons  which  made  Jack  in  no  very  great  hurry 
to  go  on  board ;  he  wanted  to  have  time  to  consider  a 
little,  what  he  should  say  to  excuse  himself,  and  also 
how  he  should  plead  for  the  men.  His  natural  correct- 
ness of  feeling  decided  him,  in  the  first  place,  to  tell 
the  whole  truth ;  and  in  the  next,  his  kind  feehngs  de- 
termined him  to  tell  only  part  of  it.  Jack  need  not  have 
given  himself  this  trouble,  for,  as  far  as  regarded  himself, 
he  had  fourteen  thousand  good  excuses  in  the  bags  that 
lay  in  the  state-room ;  and  as  for  the  men,  after  an  action 
with  the  enemy,  if  they  behave  well,  even  mutiny  is  for- 
given. At  last.  Jack,  who  was  tired  with  excitement  and 
the  hard  work  of  the  day,  thought  and  thought  until  he 
fell  fast  asleep,  and  instead  of  waking  at  sunset,  did  not 
wake  till  two  hours  afterwards  ;  and  Mesty  did  not  call 
him,  because  he  was  in  no  hurry  himself  to  go  on  board 
"  and  hml  de  kettle  for  de  young  gentlemen^ 

When  Jack  woke  up,  he  was  astonished  to  find  that 
he  had  slept  so  long  ;  he  went  on  deck  5  it  was  dark  and 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  145 

still  calm,  but  he  could  easily  perceive  that  the  Harpy  and 
corvette  were  still  hove-to,  repairing  damages.  He  ordered 
the  men  to  lower  down  the  small  boat,  and  leaving  Mesty 
in  charge,  with  two  oars  he  pulled  to  the  Harpy.  What 
with  wounded  men,  with  prisoners,  and  boats  going  and 
coming  between  the  vessels,  everyone  on  board  the  Harpy 
were  well  employed  \  and  in  the  dark.  Jack's  little  boat 
came  alongside  without  notice.  This  should  not  have 
been  the  case,  but  it  was,  and  there  was  some  excuse 
for  it.  Jack  ascended  the  side,  and  pushed  his  way 
through  the  prisoners,  who  were  being  mustered  to  be 
victualled.  He  was  wrapped  up  in  one  of  the  gregos, 
and  many  of  the  prisoners  wore  the  same. 

Jack  was  amused  at  not  being  recognised :  he  slipped 
down  the  main  ladder,  and  had  to  stoop  under  the 
hammocks  of  the  wounded  men,  and  was  about  to  go 
aft  to  the  captain's  cabin  to  report  himself,  when  he  heard 
young  Gossett  crying  out,  and  the  sound  of  the  rope. 
"  Hang  me,  if  that  brute  Vigors  ain't  thrashing  young 
Gossett,"  thought  Jack.  *'  I  daresay  the  poor  fellow 
has  had  plenty  of  it  since  I  have  been  away ;  I'll  save 
him  this  time,  at  least."  Jack,  wrapped  up  in  his  grego, 
went  to  the  window  of  the  berth,  looked  in,  and  found 
it  was  as  he  expected.  He  cried  out  in  an  angry  voice, 
Mr  Vigors,  Til  thank  yoii  to  leave  Gossett  alone.  At  the 
sound  of  the  voice,  Vigors  turned  round  with  his  colt 
in  his  hand,  saw  Jack's  face  at  the  window,  and,  impressed 
with  the  idea  that  the  re-appearance  was  supernatural, 
uttered  a  yell  and  fell  down  in  a  fit — little  Gossett  also, 
trembling  in  every  limb,  stared  with  his  mouth  open. 
Jack  was  satisfied,  and  immediately  disappeared.  He 
then  went  aft  to  the  cabin,  pushed  by  the  servant,  who 
was  giving  some  orders  from  the  captain  to  the  officer  on 
deck,  and  entering  the  cabin,  where  the  captain  was 
seated  with  two  Spanish  officers,  took  off  his  hat  and  said, — 

"  Come  on  board.  Captain  Wilson." 

Captain  Wilson  did  not  fall  down  in  a  fit,  but  he  jumped 
up,  and  upset  the  glass  before  him. 


146  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  Merciful  God,  Mr  Easy,  where  did  you  come  from  ?" 

"  From  that  ship  astern,  sir,"  replied  Jack. 

'*  That  ship  astern !  what  is  she  ? — where  have  you 
been  so  long  ? " 

"  It's  a  long  story,  sir,"  replied  Jack. 

Captain  Wilson  extended  his  hand  and  shook  Jack's 
heartily. 

"  At  all  events,  Fm  delighted  to  see  you,  boy :  now 
sit  down  and  tell  me  your  story  in  a  few  words  ;  we  will 
have  it  in  detail  by-and-bye." 

"If  you  please,  sir,"  said  Jack,  "we  captured  that  ship 
with  the  cutter  the  night  after  we  went  away — I'm  not 
a  first-rate  navigator,  and  I  was  blown  to  the  ZafFarine 
Islands,  where  I  remained  two  months  for  want  of  hands  : 
as  soon  as  I  procured  them  I  made  sail  again — I  have  lost 
three  men  by  sharks,  and  I  have  two  wounded  in  to-day's 
fight — the  ship  mounts  twelve  guns,  is  half  laden  with 
lead  and  cotton  prints,  has  fourteen  thousand  dollars  in 
the  cabin,  and  three  shot-holes  right  through  her — and 
the  sooner  you  send  some  people  on  board  of  her  the 
better." 

This  was  not  very  intelligible,  but  that  there  were 
fourteen  thousand  dollars  and  that  she  required  hands  sent 
on  board,  was  very  satisfactorily  explained.  Captain 
"Wilson  rang  the  bell,  sent  for  Mr  Asper,  who  started 
back  at  the  sight  of  our  hero — desired  him  to  order  Mr 
JolHfFe  to  go  on  board  with  one  of  the  cutters,  send  the 
wounded  men  on  board,  and  take  charge  of  the  vessel, 
and  then  told  Jack  to  accompany  Mr  Jolliffe,  and  to  give 
him  every  information :  telling  him  that  he  would  hear 
his  story  to-morrow,  when  they  were  not  so  very  busy. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  147 


Chapter    XVII 

In  which  our  hero  finds  out  that  Trigonometry  is  not  only  necessary  to 
navigation,  but  may  be  required  in  settling  affairs  of  honour. 

As  Captain  Wilson  truly  said,  he  was  too  busy  even  to 
hear  Jack's  story  that  night,  for  they  were  anxious  to  have 
both  vessels  ready  to  make  sail  as  soon  as  a  breeze  should 
spring  up,  for  the  Spaniards  had  vessels  of  war  at 
Carthagena,  which  was  not  ten  miles  off,  and  had  known 
the  result  of  the  action  :  it  was  therefore  necessary  to 
change  their  position  as  soon  as  possible.  Mr  Sawbridge 
was  on  board  the  prize,  which  was  a  corvette  mounting 
two  guns  more  than  the  Harpy,  and  called  the  Cacafuogo. 

She  had  escaped  from  Cadiz,  run  through  the  straits 
in  the  night,  and  was  three  miles  from  Carthagena  when 
she  was  captured,  which  she  certainly  never  would  have 
been,  but  for  Jack's  fortunately  blundering  against  the 
cape  with  his  armed  vessel,  so  that  Captain  Wilson  and 
Mr  Sawbridge  (both  of  whom  were  promoted,  the  first 
to  the  rank  of  post-captain,  the  second  to  that  of 
commander)  may  be  said  to  be  indebted  to  Jack  for  their 
good  fortune.  The  Harpy  had  lost  nineteen  men,  killed 
and  wounded,  and  the  Spanish  corvette  forty-seven. 
Altogether,  it  was  a  very  creditable  affair. 

At  two  o'clock  in  the  morning,  the  vessels  were  ready, 
everything  had  been  done  that  could  be  done  in  so  short 
a  time,  and  they  stood  under  easy  sail  during  the  night 
for  Gibraltar,  the  Nostra  Signora  del  Carmen,  under  the 
charge  of  JollifFe,  keeping  company.  Jolliffe  had  the 
advantage  over  his  shipmates,  of  first  hearing  Jack's 
adventures,  with  which  he  was  much  astonished  as  well 
as  amused — even  Captain  Wilson  was  not  more  happy  to 
see  Jack  than  was  the  worthy  master's  mate.  About  nine 
o'clock  the  Harpy  hove-to,  and  sent  a  boat  on  board  for 
our  hero  and  the  men  who  had  been  so  long  with  him  in 
the  prize,  and  then  hoisted  out  the  pinnace  to  fetch  on 


148  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

board  the  dollars,  which  were  of  more  importance.  Jack, 
as  he  bade  adieu  to  JollifFe,  took  out  of  his  pocket,  and 
presented  him  with  the  articles  of  luar,  which,  as  they  had 
been  so  useful  to  him,  he  thought  JollifFe  could  not  do 
without,  and  then  went  down  the  side :  the  men  were 
already  in  the  boat,  casting  imploring  looks  upon  Jack, 
to  raise  feelings  of  compassion,  and  Mesty  took  his  seat 
by  our  hero  in  a  very  sulky  humour,  probably  because  he 
did  not  like  the  idea  of  having  again  "  to  boil  de  kettle 
for  de  young  gentlemen."  Even  Jack  felt  a  little 
melancholy  at  resigning  his  command,  and  he  looked  back 
at  the  green  petticoat,  which  blew  out  gracefully  from 
the  mast,  for  JollifFe  had  determined  that  he  would  not 
haul  down  the  colours  under  which  Jack  had  fought  so 
gallant  an  action. 

Jack's  narration,  as  may  be  imagined,  occupied  a  large 
part  of  the  forenoon ;  and  although  Jack  did  not  attempt 
to  deny  that  he  had  seen  the  recall  signal  of  Mr  Sawbridge, 
yet,  as  his  account  went  on,  the  captain  became  so  in- 
terested, that  at  the  end  of  it  he  quite  forgot  to  point  out 
to  Jack  the  impropriety  of  not  obeying  orders.  He  gave 
Jack  great  credit  for  his  conduct,  and  was  also  much 
pleased  with  that  of  Mesty.  Jack  took  the  opportunity 
of  stating  Mesty's  aversion  to  his  present  employment, 
and  his  recommendation  was  graciously  received.  Jack 
also  succeeded  in  obtaining  the  pardon  of  the  men,  in 
consideration  of  their  subsequent  good  behaviour  j  but 
notwithstanding  this  promise  on  the  part  of  Captain 
Wilson,  they  were  ordered  to  be  put  in  irons  for  the 
present.  However,  Jack  told  Mesty,  and  Mesty  told  the 
men,  that  they  would  be  released  with  a  reprimand  when 
they  arrived  at  Gibraltar,  so  that  all  the  men  cared  for 
was  a  fair  wind. 

Captain  Wilson  informed  Jack,  that  after  his  joining 
the  admiral  he  had  been  sent  to  Malta  with  the  prizes, 
and  that,  supposing  the  cutter  to  have  been  sunk,  he  had 
written  to  his  father,  acquainting  him  with  his  son's  death, 
at  which  our  hero  was  much  grieved,  for  he  knew  what 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  149 

sorrow  it  would  occasion,  particularly  to  his  poor  mother. 
"  But,"  thought  Jack,  "  if  she  is  unhappy  for  three 
months,  she  will  be  overjoyed  for  three  more  when  she 
hears  that  I  am  alive,  so  it  will  be  all  square  at  the  end 
of  the  six ;  and  as  soon  as  I  arrive  at  Gibraltar  I  will  write, 
and  as  the  wind  is  fair,  that  will  be  to-morrow  or  next 
day." 

After  a  long  conversation  Jack  was  graciously  dismissed. 
Captain  Wilson  being  satisfied  from  what  he  had  heard 
that  Jack  would  turn  out  a  very  good  officer,  and  had 
already  forgotten  all  about  equality  and  the  rights  of  man ; 
but  there  Captain  Wilson  was  mistaken — tares  sown  in 
infancy  are  not  so  soon  rooted  out. 

Jack  went  on  deck  as  soon  as  the  captain  had  dismissed 
him,  and  found  the  captain  and  officers  of  the  Spanish 
corvette  standing  aft,  looking  very  seriously  at  the  Nostra 
Signora  del  Carmen.  When  they  saw  our  hero,  whom 
Captain  Wilson  had  told  them  was  the  young  officer  who 
had  barred  their  entrance  into  Carthagena,  they  turned 
their  eyes  upon  him,  not  quite  so  graciously  as  they  might 
have  done. 

Jack,  with  his  usual  politeness,  took  off  his  hat  to  the 
Spanish  captain,  and,  glad  to  have  an  opportunity  of 
sporting  his  Spanish,  expressed  the  usual  wish,  that  he 
might  hve  a  thousand  years.  The  Spanish  captain,  who 
had  reason  to  wish  that  Jack  had  gone  to  the  devil  at 
least  twenty-four  hours  before,  was  equally  complimentary, 
and  then  begged  to  be  informed  what  the  colours  were 
that  Jack  had  hoisted  during  the  action.  Jack  replied 
that  they  were  colours  to  which  every  Spanish  gentleman 
considered  it  no  disgrace  to  surrender,  although  always 
ready  to  engage,  and  frequently  attempting  to  board. 
Upon  which  the  Spanish  captain  was  very  much  puzzled. 
Captain  Wilson,  who  understood  a  little  Spanish,  then 
interrupted  by  observing — 

"  By-the-bye,  Mr  Easy,  what  colours  did  you  hoist  up  ? 
We  could  not  make  them  out.  I  see  Mr  JollifFe  still  keeps 
them  up  at  the  peak." 


I  JO  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  Yes,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  rather  puzzled  what  to  call 
them,  but  at  last  he  replied,  "  that  it  was  the  banner  of 
equality  and  the  rights  of  man." 

Captain  Wilson  frowned,  and  Jack,  perceiving  that  he 
was  displeased,  then  told  him  the  whole  story,  whereupon 
Captain  Wilson  laughed,  and  Jack  then  also  explained,  in 
Spanish,  to  the  officers  of  the  corvette,  who  replied, 
"  that  it  was  not  the  first  time,  and  would  not  be  the 
last,  that  men  had  got  into  a  scrape  through  a  petticoat." 

The  Spanish  captain  complimented  Jack  on  his  Spanish, 
which  was  really  very  good  (for  in  two  months,  with 
nothing  else  in  the  world  to  do,  he  had  made  great 
progress),  and  asked  him  where  he  had  learnt  it. 

Jack  replied,  '*  At  the  Zaffarine  Islands." 

'*  Zaffarine  Isles,"  replied  the  Spanish  captain ;  "  they 
are  not  inhabited." 

"  Plenty  of  ground-sharks,"  replied  Jack. 

The  Spanish  captain  thought  our  hero  a  very  strange 
fellow,  to  fight  under  a  green  silk  petticoat,  and  to  take 
lessons  in  Spanish  from  the  ground-sharks.  However, 
being  quite  as  polite  as  Jack,  he  did  not  contradict  him, 
but  took  a  huge  pinch  of  snuff,  wishing  from  the  bottom 
of  his  heart  that  the  ground-sharks  had  taken  Jack  before 
he  had  hoisted  that  confounded  green  petticoat. 

However,  Jack  was  in  high  favour  with  the  captain, 
and  all  the  ship's  company,  with  the  exception  of  his  four 
enemies — the  master,  Vigors,  the  boatswain,  and  the 
purser's  steward.  As  for  Mr  Vigors,  he  had  come  to  his 
senses  again,  and  had  put  his  colt  in  his  chest  until  Jack 
should  take  another  cruise.  Little  Gossett,  at  any  insulting 
remark  made  by  Vigors,  pointed  to  the  window  of  the 
berth  and  grinned ;  and  the  very  recollection  made  Vigors 
turn  pale,  and  awed  him  into  silence. 

In  two  days  they  arrived  at  Gibraltar — Mr  Sawbridge 
rejoined  the  ship — so  did  Mr  JollifFe — they  remained  there 
a  fortnight,  during  which  Jack  was  permitted  to  be  con- 
tinually on  shore — Mr  Asper  accompanied  him,  and  Jack 
drew  a  heavy  bill  to  prove  to  his  father  that  he  was  still 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  151 

alive.  Mr  Sawbridge  made  our  hero  relate  to  him  all  his 
adventures,  and  was  so  pleased  with  the  conduct  of  Mesty 
that  he  appointed  him  to  a  situation  which  was  particularly 
suited  to  him, — that  of  ship's  corporal.  Mr  Sawbridge 
knew  that  it  was  an  office  of  trust,  and  provided  that  he 
could  find  a  man  fit  for  it,  he  was  very  indifferent  about 
his  colour.  Mesty  walked  and  strutted  about  at  least  three 
inches  taller  than  he  was  before.  He  was  always  clean, 
did  his  duty  conscientiously,  and  seldom  used  his  cane. 

"I  think,  Mr  Easy,"  said  the  first  lieutenant,  "that  as 
you  are  so  particularly  fond  of  taking  a  cruise," — for  Jack 
had  told  the  whole  truth, — "  it  might  be  as  well  that  you 
improve  your  navigation." 

"  I  do  think  myself,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  with  great 
modesty,  "  that  I  am  not  yet  quite  perfect." 

'*  Well,  then,  Mr  Jolliffe  will  teach  you ;  he  is  the  most 
competent  in  this  ship  :  the  sooner  you  ask  him  the  better, 
and  if  you  learn  it  as  fast  as  you  have  Spanish,  it  will  not 
give  you  much  trouble." 

Jack  thought  the  advice  good  ;  the  next  day  he  was  very 
busy  with  his  friend  Jolliffe,  and  made  the  important  dis- 
covery that  two  parallel  lines  continued  to  infinity  would 
never  meet. 

It  must  not  be  supposed  that  Captain  Wilson  and  Mr 
Sawbridge  received  their  promotion  instanter.  Promotion 
is  always  attended  with  delay,  as  there  is  a  certain  routine 
in  the  service  which  must  not  be  departed  from.  Captain 
Wilson  had  orders  to  return  to  Malta  after  his  cruise.  He 
therefore  carried  his  own  despatches  away  from  England — 
from  Malta  the  despatches  had  to  be  forwarded  to  Toulon 
to  the  admiral,  and  then  the  admiral  had  to  send  to  England 
to  the  admiralty,  whose  reply  had  to  come  out  again.  All 
this,  with  the  delays  arising  from  vessels  not  sailing  im- 
mediately, occupied  an  interval  of  between  five  and  six 
months — during  which  time  there  was  no  alteration  in  the 
officers  and  crew  of  his  Majesty's  sloop  Harpy. 

There  had,  however,  been  one  alteration  ;  the  gunner, 
Mr  Minus,  who  had  charge  of  the  first  cutter  in  the  night 


152  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

action  in  which  our  hero  was  separated  from  his  ship,  care- 
lessly loading  his  musket,  had  found  himself  minus  his 
right  hand,  which,  upon  the  musket  going  off  as  he  rammed 
down,  had  gone  off  too.  He  was  invalided  and  sent  home 
during  Jack's  absence,  and  another  had  been  appointed, 
whose  name  was  Tallboys.  Mr  Tallboys  was  a  stout 
dumpy  man,  with  red  face,  and  still  redder  hands ;  he  had 
red  hair  and  red  whiskers,  and  he  had  read  a  great  deal — 
for  Mr  Tallboys  considered  that  the  gunner  was  the  most 
important  personage  in  the  ship.  He  had  once  been  a 
captain's  clerk,  and  having  distinguished  himself  very  much 
in  cutting-out  service,  had  applied  for  and  received  his  war- 
rant as  a  gunner.  He  had  studied  the  "  Art  of  Gunnery," 
a  part  of  which  he  understood,  but  the  remainder  was 
above  his  comprehension  :  he  continued,  however,  to  read 
it  as  before,  thinking  that  by  constant  reading  he  should 
understand  it  at  last.  He  had  gone  through  the  work  from 
the  title-page  to  the  finis  at  least  forty  times,  and  had  just 
commenced  it  over  again.  He  never  came  on  deck  without 
the  gunner's  vade  mecum  in  his  pocket,  with  his  hand 
always  upon  it  to  refer  to  it  in  a  moment. 

But  Mr  Tallboys  had,  as  we  observed  before,  a  great 
idea  of  the  importance  of  a  gunner,  and,  among  other 
qualifications,  he  considered  it  absolutely  necessary  that  he 
should  be  a  navigator.  He  had  at  least  ten  instances  to 
bring  forward  of  bloody  actions,  in  which  the  captain 
and  all  the  commissioned  officers  had  been  killed  or 
wounded  and  the  command  of  the  ship  had  devolved  upon 
the  gunner. 

"Now,  sir,"  would  he  say,  "if  the  gunner  is  no  navi- 
gator, he  is  not  fit  to  take  charge  of  his  Majesty's  ships. 
The  boatswain  and  carpenter  are  merely  practical  men ; 
but  the  gunner,  sir,  is,  or  ought  to  be,  scientific.  Gun- 
nery, sir,  is  a  science — we  have  our  own  disparts  and  our 
lines  of  sight — our  windage,  and  our  parabolas,  and  pro- 
jectile forces — and  our  point  blank,  and  our  reduction  of 
powder  upon  a  graduated  scale.  Now,  sir,  there's  no 
excuse  for  a  gunner  not  being  a  navigator ;  for  knowing 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  153 

his  duty  as  a  gunner,  he  has  the  same  mathematical  tools 
to  work  with."  Upon  this  principle,  Mr  Tallboys  had 
added  John  Hamilton  Moore  to  his  library,  and  had 
advanced  about  as  far  into  navigation  as  he  had  in  gunnery, 
that  is,  to  the  threshold,  where  he  stuck  fast,  with  all  his 
mathematical  tools,  which  he  did  not  know  how  to  use. 
To  do  him  justice,  he  studied  for  two  or  three  hours  every 
day,  and  it  was  not  his  fault  if  he  did  not  advance — but 
his  head  was  confused  with  technical  terms  5  he  mixed  all 
up  together,  and  disparts,  sines  and  cosines,  parabolas, 
tangents,  windage,  seconds,  lines  of  sight,  logarithms, 
projectiles,  and  traverse  sailing,  quadrature,  and  Gunter's 
scales,  were  all  crowded  together,  in  a  brain  which  had  not 
capacity  to  receive  the  rule  of  three.  "Too  much  learn- 
ing," said  Festus  to  the  apostle,  "hath  made  thee  mad." 
Mr  Tallboys  had  not  wit  enough  to  go  mad,  but  his  learn- 
ing lay  like  lead  upon  his  brain :  the  more  he  read,  the 
less  he  understood,  at  the  same  time  that  he  became  more 
satisfied  with  his  supposed  acquirements,  and  could  not 
speak  but  in  "mathematical  parables." 

"  I  understand,  Mr  Easy,"  said  the  gunner  to  him  one 
day,  after  they  had  sailed  for  Malta,  "  that  you  have  entered 
into  the  science  of  navigation — at  your  age  it  was  high 
time." 

"  Yes,"  replied  Jack,  "  I  can  raise  a  perpendicular,  at  all 
events,  and  box  the  compass." 

"  Yes,  but  you  have  not  yet  arrived  at  the  dispart  of  the 
compass." 

"  Not  come  to  that  yet,"  replied  Jack. 

"  Are  you  aware  that  a  ship  sailing  describes  a  parabola 
round  the  globe  ?  " 

"Not  come  to  that  yet,"  replied  Jack. 

"  And  that  any  propelled  body  striking  against  another 
flies  off  at  a  tangent  ? " 

"  Very  likely,"  replied  Jack  J  "that  is  a  *  sine^  that  he 
don't  like  it." 

"  You  have  not  yet  entered  into  '  acute^  trigonometry  ? " 

"  Not  come  to  that  yet,"  replied  Jack. 


154  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  That  will  require  very  sharp  attention." 

''I  should  think  so,"  replied  Jack. 

*'  You  will  then  find  out  how  your  parallels  of  longitude 
and  latitude  meet." 

"Two  parallel  lines,  if  continued  to  infinity  will  never 
meet,"  replied  Jack. 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,"  said  the  gunner. 

"  I  beg  yours,"  said  Jack. 

Whereupon  Mr  Tallboys  brought  up  a  small  map  of  the 
world,  and  showed  Jack  that  all  the  parallels  of  latitude 
met  at  a  point  at  the  top  and  the  bottom. 

"Parallel  lines  never  meet,"  replied  Jack,  producing 
Hamilton  Moore. 

Whereupon  Jack  and  the  gunner  argued  the  point,  until 
it  was  agreed  to  refer  the  case  to  Mr  Jolliffe,  who  asserted, 
with  a  smile,  "  That  those  lines  were  parallels,  and  not 
parallels." 

As  both  were  right,  both  were  satisfied. 

It  was  fortunate  that  Jack  would  argue  in  this  instance  : 
had  he  believed  all  the  confused  assertions  of  the  gunner, 
he  would  have  been  as  puzzled  as  the  gunner  himself. 
They  never  met  without  an  argument  and  a  reference,  and 
as  Jack  was  put  right  in  the  end,  he  only  learnt  the  faster. 
By  the  time  that  he  did  know  something  about  navigation, 
he  discovered  that  his  antagonist  knew  nothing.  Before 
they  arrived  at  Malta,  Jack  could  fudge  a  day's  work. 

But  at  Malta  Jack  got  into  another  scrape.  Although 
Mr  Smallsole  could  not  injure  him,  he  was  still  Jack's 
enemy  5  the  more  so  as  Jack  had  become  very  popular : 
Vigors  also  submitted,  planring  revenge ;  but  the  parties 
in  this  instance  were  the  boatswain  and  purser's  steward. 
Jack  still  continued  his  forecastle  conversations  with  Mesty  : 
and  the  boatswain  and  purser's  steward,  probably  from 
their  respective  ill-will  towards  our  hero,  had  become  great 
allies.  Mr  Easthupp  now  put  on  his  best  jacket  to  walk 
the  dog-watches  with  Mr  Biggs,  and  they  took  every 
opportunity  to  talk  at  our  hero. 

"It's   my  peculiar   hopinion,"    said   Mr   Easthupp,  one 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  155 

evening,  pulling  at  the  frill  of  his  shirt,  "  that  a  gentleman 
should  behave  as  a  gentleman,  and  that  if  a  gentleman  pro- 
fesses opinions  of  hequality  and  such  liberal  sentiments, 
that  he  is  bound  as  a  gentleman  to  hact  up  to  them." 

**  Very  true,  Mr  Easthupp  ;  he  is  bound  to  act  up  to 
them  ;  and  not  because  a  person,  who  was  a  gentleman  as 
well  as  himself,  happens  not  to  be  on  the  quarter-deck,  to 
insult  him  because  he  only  has  perfessed  opinions  like  his 
own." 

Hereupon  Mr  Biggs  struck  his  rattan  against  the  funnel, 
and  looked  at  our  hero. 

"  Yes,"  continued  the  purser's  steward,  ''  I  should  like 
to  see  the  fellow  who  would  have  done  so  on  shore  j  how- 
ever, the  time  will  come  when  I  can  hagain  pull  on  my 
plain  coat,  and  then  the  insult  shall  be  vashed  out  in  blood, 
Mr  Biggs." 

"  And  I'll  be  cursed  if  I  don't  some  day  teach  a  lesson 
to  the  blackguard  who  stole  my  trousers." 

"  Vas  hall  your  money  right,  Mr  Biggs  ? "  inquired  the 
purser's  steward. 

"I  didn't  count,"  replied  the  boatswain  magnificently. 

"  No — gentlemen  are  habove  that,"  replied  Easthupp  j 
"  but  there  are  many  light-fingered  gentry  about.  The 
quantity  of  vatches  and  harticles  of  value  vich  were  lost 
ven  I  valked  Bond  Street  in  former  times  is  incredible." 

**  I  can  say  this,  at  all  events,"  replied  the  boatswain, 
"  that  I  should  be  always  ready  to  give  satisfaction  to  any 
person  beneath  me  in  rank,  after  I  had  insulted  him.  I 
don't  stand  upon  my  rank,  although  I  don't  talk  about 
equality,  damme — no,  nor  consort  with  niggers." 

All  this  was  too  plain  for  our  hero  not  to  understand,  so 
Jack  walked  up  to  the  boatswain,  and  taking  his  hat  off, 
with  the  utmost  politeness,  said  to  him — 

"  If  I  mistake  not,  Mr  Biggs,  your  conversation  refers  to 
me. 

**  Very  likely  it  does,"  replied  the  boatswain.  "  Listeners 
hear  no  good  of  themselves." 

**  It  appears  that  gentlemen  can't  converse  without  being 


156  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

vatched,"  continued  Mr  Easthupp,  pulling  up  his  shirt 
collar. 

"It  is  not  the  first  time  that  you  have  thought  proper 
to  make  very  offensive  remarks,  Mr  Biggs  j  and  as  you 
appear  to  consider  yourself  ill-treated  in  the  affair  of  the 
trousers — for  I  tell  you  at  once  that  it  was  I  who  brought 
them  on  board — I  can  only  say,"  continued  our  hero,  with 
a  very  polite  bow,  "  that  I  shall  be  most  happy  to  give  you 
satisfaction." 

"I  am  your  superior  officer,  Mr  Easy,"  replied  the 
boatswain. 

"  Yes,  by  the  rules  of  the  service ;  but  you  just  now 
asserted  that  you  would  waive  your  rank — indeed,  I 
dispute  it  on  this  occasion  ;  I  am  on  the  quarter-deck,  and 
you  are  not." 

"  This  is  the  gentleman  whom  you  have  insulted,  Mr 
Easy,"  replied  the  boatswain,  pointing  to  the  purser's 
steward. 

"  Yes,  Mr  Heasy,  quite  as  good  a  gentleman  as  yourself 
although  I  av  ad  misfortunes — I  ham  of  as  old  a  family  as 
hany  in  the  country,"  replied  Mr  Easthupp,  now  backed  by 
the  boatswain  ;  "  many  the  year  did  I  valk  Bond  Street, 
and  I  ave  as  good  blood  in  my  weins  as  you,  Mr  Heasy, 
halthough  I  have  been  misfortunate — I've  had  hadmirals  in 
my  family." 

"  You  have  grossly  insulted  this  gentleman,"  said  Mr 
Biggs,  in  continuation;  "and  notwithstanding  all  your 
talk  of  equality,  you  are  afraid  to  give  him  satisfaction — 
you  shelter  yourself  under  your  quarter-deck." 

"  Mr  Biggs,"  replied  our  hero,  who  was  now  very 
wroth,  "  I  shall  go  on  shore  directly  we  arrive  at  Malta. 
Let  you  and  this  fellow  put  on  plain  clothes,  and  I  will 
meet  you  both — and  then  I'll  show  you  whether  I  am 
afraid  to  give  satisfaction." 

"  One  at  a  time,"  said  the  boatswain. 

"  No,  sir,  not  one  at  a  time,  but  both  at  the  same  time — 
I  will  light  both,  or  none.  If  you  are  my  superior  officer, 
you  must  descend"  replied  Jack,  with  an  ironical   sneer. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  157 

"  to  meet  me,  or  I  will  not  descend  to  meet  that  fellow, 
whom  I  believe  to  have  been  little  better  than  a  pickpocket." 

This  accidental  hit  of  Jack's  made  the  purser's  steward 
turn  pale  as  a  sheet,  and  then  equally  red.  He  raved  and 
foamed  amazingly,  although  he  could  not  meet  Jack's 
indignant  look,  who  then  turned  round  again. 

"  Now,  Mr  Biggs,  is  this  to  be  understood,  or  do  you 
shelter  yourself  under  your  forecastle  ?  " 

"I'm  no  dodger,"  replied  the  boatswain,  "and  we  will 
settle  the  affair  at  Malta." 

At  which  reply  Jack  returned  to  Mesty. 

"  Massa  Easy,  I  look  at  um  face,  dat  fellow  Eastop,  he 
no  like  it.  I  go  shore  wid  you,  see  fair  play,  anyhow — 
suppose  I  can  .'' " 

Mr  Biggs  having  declared  that  he  would  fight,  of  course 
had  to  look  out  for  a  second,  and  he  fixed  upon  Mr  Tallboys, 
the  gunner,  and  requested  him  to  be  his  friend.  Mr 
Tallboys,  who  had  been  latterly  very  much  annoyed  by 
Jack's  victories  over  him  in  the  science  of  navigation,  and 
therefore  felt  ill-will  towards  him,  consented  ;  but  he  was 
very  much  puzzled  how  to  arrange  that  three  were  to  fight 
at  the  same  time,  for  he  had  no  idea  of  there  being  two 
duels ;  so  he  went  to  his  cabin  and  commenced  reading. 
Jack,  on  the  other  hand,  dared  not  say  a  word  to  Jolliffe 
on  the  subject ;  indeed  there  was  no  one  in  the  ship  to 
whom  he  could  confide  but  Gascoigne  :  he  therefore  went 
to  him,  and  although  Gascoigne  thought  it  was  excessively 
'  infra  dig.^  of  Jack  to  meet  even  the  boatswain,  as  the 
challenge  had  been  given  there  was  no  retracting :  he 
therefore  consented,  like  all  midshipmen,  anticipating  fun, 
and  quite  thoughtless  of  the  consequences. 

The  second  day  after  they  had  been  anchored  in  Valette 
harbour,  the  boatswain  and  gunner.  Jack  and  Gascoigne, 
obtained  permission  to  go  on  shore.  Mr  Easthupp,  the 
purser's  steward,  dressed  in  his  best  blue  coat,  with  brass 
buttons  and  velvet  collar,  the  very  one  in  which  he  had 
been  taken  up  when  he  had  been  vowing  and  protesting 
that  he  was  a  gentleman,  at  the  very  time  that  his  hand 


158  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

was  abstracting  a  pocket-book,  went  up  on  the  quarter- 
deck, and  requested  the  same  indulgence,  but  Mr 
Sawbridge  refused,  as  he  required  him  to  return  staves 
and  hoops  at  the  cooperage.  Mesty  also,  much  to  his 
mortification,  was  not  to  be  spared. 

This  was  awkward,  but  it  was  got  over  by  proposing 
that  the  meeting  should  take  place  behind  the  cooperage 
at  a  certain  hour,  on  which  Mr  Easthupp  might  slip  out, 
and  borrow  a  portion  of  the  time  appropriated  to  his  duty, 
to  heal  the  breach  in  his  wounded  honour.  So  the  parties 
all  went  on  shore,  and  put  up  at  one  of  the  small  inns  to 
make  the  necessary  arrangements. 

Mr  Tallboys  then  addressed  Mr  Gascoigne,  taking  him 
apart  while  the  boatswain  amused  himself  with  a  glass  of 
grog,  and  our  hero  sat  outside  teasing  a  monkey. 

"  Mr  Gascoigne,"  said  the  gunner,  "  I  have  been  very 
much  puzzled  how  this  duel  should  be  fought,  but  I  have 
at  last  found  it  out.  You  see  that  there  are  three  parties 
to  fight ;  had  there  been  two  or  four  there  would  have 
been  no  difficulty,  as  the  right  line  or  square  might  guide 
us  in  that  instance ;  but  we  must  arrange  it  upon  the 
triangle  in  this." 

Gascoigne  stared ;  he  could  not  imagine  what  was 
coming. 

"  Are  you  aware,  Mr  Gascoigne,  of  the  properties  of 
an  equilateral  triangle  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  replied  the  midshipman,  "  that  it  has  three 
equal  sides — but  what  the  devil  has  that  to  do  with  the 
duel  ? " 

*'  Everything,  Mr  Gascoigne,"  replied  the  gunner ;  "  it 
has  resolved  the  great  difficulty :  indeed,  the  duel  between 
three  can  only  be  fought  upon  that  principle.  You 
observe,"  said  the  gunner,  taking  a  piece  of  chalk  out  of 
his  pocket,  and  making  a  triangle  on  the  table,  "  in  this 
figure  we  have  three  points,  each  equidistant  from  each 
other  :  and  we  have  three  combatants — so  that,  placing  one 
at  each  point,  it  is  all  fair  play  for  the  three  :  Mr  Easy,  for 
instance,  stands  here,  the  boatswain  here,  and  the  purser's 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  159 

steward  at  the  third  corner.     Now,  if  the  distance  is  fairly 
measured,  it  will  be  all  right." 

"  But  then,"  rephed  Gascoigne,  delighted  at  the  idea, 
**  how  are  they  to  fire  ? " 

"It  certainly  is  not  of  much  consequence,"  replied  the 
gunner,  "  but  still,  as  sailors,  it  appears  to  me  that  they 
should  fire  with  the  sun ;  that  is,  Mr  Easy  fires  at  Mr 
Biggs,  Mr  Biggs  fires  at  Mr  Easthupp,  and  Mr  Easthupp 
fires  at  Mr  Easy  ;  so  that  you  perceive  that  each  party  has 
his  shot  at  one,  and  at  the  same  time  receives  the  fire  of 
another." 

Gascoigne  was  in  ecstacies  at  the  novelty  of  the  pro- 
ceeding, the  more  so  as  he  perceived  that  Easy  obtained 
every  advantage  by  the  arrangement. 

"  Upon  my  word,  Mr  Tallboys,  I  give  you  great  credit ; 
you  have  a  profound  mathematical  head,  and  I  am  delighted 
with  your  arrangement.  Of  course,  in  these  affairs,  the 
principals  are  bound  to  comply  with  the  arrangements  of 
the  seconds,  and  I  shall  insist  upon  Mr  Easy  consenting  to 
your  excellent  and  scientific  proposal." 

Gascoigne  went  out,  and  pulling  Jack  away  from  the 
monkey,  told  him  what  the  gunner  had  proposed,  at  which 
Jack  laughed  heartily. 

The  gunner  also  explained  it  to  the  boatswain,  who  did 
not  very  well  comprehend,  but  replied — 

"I  dare  say  it's  all  right — shot  for  shot,  and  d — n  all 
favours." 

The  parties  then  repaired  to  the  spot  with  two  pairs  of 
ship's  pistols,  which  Mr  Tallboys  had  smuggled  on  shore  ; 
and,  as  soon  as  they  were  on  the  ground,  the  gunner  called 
Mr  Easthupp  out  of  the  cooperage.  In  the  meantime, 
Gascoigne  had  been  measuring  an  equilateral  triangle  of 
twelve  paces — and  marked  it  out.  Mr  Tallboys,  on  his 
return  with  the  purser's  steward,  went  over  the  ground, 
and  finding  that  it  was  "equal  angles  subtended  by  equal 
sides,"  declared  that  it  was  all  right.  Easy  took  his 
station,  the  boatswain  was  put  into  his,  and  Mr  Easthupp, 
who  was  quite  in  a  mystery,  was  led  by  the  gunner  to  the 
third  position. 


i6o  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  But,  Mr  Tallboys,"  said  the  purser's  steward,  "  I  don't 
understand  this.  Mr  Easy  will  first  fight  Mr  Biggs,  will 
he  not  ? " 

"  No,"  replied  the  gunner,  "  this  is  a  duel  of  three. 
You  will  fire  at  Mr  Easy,  Mr  Easy  will  fire  at  Mr  Biggs, 
and  Mr  Biggs  will  fire  at  you.  It  is  all  arranged,  Mr 
Easthupp." 

"  But,"  said  Mr  Easthupp,  "  I  do  not  understand  it. 
Why  is  Mr  Biggs  to  fire  at  me  ?  I  have  no  quarrel  with 
Mr  Biggs. 

"  Because  Mr  Easy  fires  at  Mr  Biggs,  and  Mr  Biggs 
must  have  his  shot  as  well." 

"  If  you  have  ever  been  in  the  company  of  gentlemen, 
Mr  Easthupp,"  observed  Gascoigne,  "  you  must  know 
something  about  duelling." 

"  Yes,  yes,  I've  kept  the  best  company,  Mr  Gascoigne, 

and  I  can  give  a  gentleman  satisfaction  ;  but " 

*'  Then,  sir,  if  that  is  the  case,  you  must  know  that 
your  honour  is  in  the  hands  of  your  second,  and  that  no 
gentleman  appeals." 

"  Yes,  yes,  I  know  that,  Mr  Gascoigne  ;  but  still  I've 
no  quarrel  with  Mr  Biggs,  and  therefore,  Mr  Biggs,  of 
course  you  will  not  aim  at  me." 

"Why  yon  don't  think  that  I  am  going  to  be  fired  at 
for  nothing,"  replied  the  boatswain  •,  "  no,  no,  I'll  have 
my  shot  anyhow." 

"  But  at  your  friend,  Mr  Biggs  ? " 
*'  All  the  same,  I  shall  fire  at  somebody  j  shot  for  shot, 
and  hit  the  luckiest." 

"Vel,  gentlemen,  I  purtest  against  these  proceedings," 
replied  Mr  Easthupp;  "I  came  here  to  have  satisfaction 
from  Mr  Easy,  and  not  to  be  fired  at  by  Mr  Biggs." 

"  Don't  you  have  satisfaction  when  you  fire  at  Mr 
Easy  ? "  replied  the  gunner ;  "  what  more  would  you 
have.?" 

"  I  purtest  against  Mr  Biggs  firing  at  me." 
"  So  you  would  have   a   shot  without  receiving  one," 
cried   Gascoigne  :    "  the  fact  is  that  this   fellow's  a  con- 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  i6i 

founded  coward,  and  ought  to  be  kicked  into  the  cooper- 
age again." 

At  this  affront  Mr  Easthupp  rallied,  and  accepted  the 
pistol  offered  by  the  gunner. 

"  You  ear  those  words,  Mr  Biggs  ;  pretty  language  to 
use  to  a  gentleman.  You  shall  ear  from  me,  sir,  as  soon 
as  the  ship  is  paid  off.  I  purtest  no  longer,  Mr  Tallboys ; 
death  before  dishonour.     I'm  a  gentleman,  damme  !  " 

At  all  events,  the  swell  was  not  a  very  courageous 
gentleman,  for  he  trembled  most  exceedingly  as  he 
pointed  his   pistol. 

The  gunner  gave  the  word,  as  if  he  were  exercising 
the  great  guns  on  board  ship. 

"  Cock  your  locks  !  " — "  Take  good  aim  at  the  object !  " 
<'  Fire  !  " — "  Stop  your  vents  !  " 

The  only  one  of  the  combatants  who  appeared  to  com- 
ply with  the  latter  supplementary  order  was  Mr  Easthupp, 
who  clapped  his  hand  to  his  trousers  behind,  gave  a  loud 
yell,  and  then  dropped  down ;  the  bullet  having  passed 
clean  through  his  seat  of  honour,  from  his  having  pre- 
sented his  broadside  as  a  target  to  the  boatswain  as  he 
faced  towards  our  hero.  Jack's  shot  had  also  taken  effect, 
having  passed  through  both  the  boatswain's  cheeks,  with- 
out further  mischief  than  extracting  two  of  his  best 
upper  double  teeth,  and  forcing  through  the  hole  of  the 
further  cheek  the  boatswain's  own  quid  of  tobacco.  As 
for  Mr  Easthupp's  ball,  as  he  was  very  unsettled,  and 
shut  his  eyes  before  he  fired,  it  had  gone  the  Lord  knows 
where. 

The  purser's  steward  lay  on  the  ground  and  screamed 
— the  boatswain  spit  his  double  teeth  and  two  or  three 
mouthfuls  of  blood  out,  and  then  threw  down  his  pistols 
in  a  rage. 

*'  A  pretty  business,  by  God,"  sputtered  he ;  "  he's 
put  my  pipe  out.  How  the  devil  am  I  to  pipe  to  dinner 
when  I'm  ordered,  all  my  wind  'scaping  through  the 
cheeks  ?  " 

In  the  meantime,  the  others  had  gone  to  the  assistance 
E  L 


1 62  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

of  the  purser's  steward,  who  continued  his  vociferations. 
They  examined  him,  and  considered  a  wound  in  that  part 
not  to  be  dangerous. 

"  Hold  your  confounded  bawhng,"  cried  the  gunner, 
"  or  you'll  have  the  guard  down  here :  you're  not 
hurt." 

"  Han't  hi  ?  "  roared  the  steward:  "  Oh,  let  me  die,  let 
me  die  j  don't  move  me  !  " 

"Nonsense,"  cried  the  gunner,  "you  must  get  up  and 
walk  down  to  the  boat ;  if  you  don't  we'll  leave  you — 
hold  your  tongue,  confound  you.  You  won't.?  then  I'll 
give  you  something  to  halloo  for." 

Whereupon  Mr  Tallboys  commenced  cuffing  the  poor 
wretch  right  and  left,  who  received  so  many  swinging 
boxes  of  the  ear  that  he  was  soon  reduced  to  merely 
pitiful  plaints  of  **  Oh,  dear  ! — such  inhumanity — I  purtest 
— oh  dear !  must  I  get  up  ?     I  can't,  indeed." 

"I  do  not  think  he  can  move,  Mr  Tallboys,"  said 
Gascoigne ;  "I  should  think  the  best  plan  would  be  to 
call  up  two  of  the  men  from  the  cooperage,  and  let  them 
take  him  at  once  to  the  hospital." 

The  gunner  went  down  to  the  cooperage  to  call  the 
men.  Mr  Biggs,  who  had  bound  up  his  face  as  if  he 
had  a  toothache,  for  the  bleeding  had  been  very  slight, 
came  up  to  the  purser's  steward. 

*'  What  the  hell  are  you  making  such  a  howling  about  ? 
Look  at  me,  with  two  shot-holes  through  my  figure  head, 
while  you  have  only  got  one  in  your  stern :  I  wish  I  could 
change  with  you,  by  heavens,  for  I  could  use  my  whistle 
then — now  if  I  attempt  to  pipe,  there  will  be  such  a 
wasteful  expenditure  of  his  Majesty's  stores  of  wind,  that 
I  never  shall  get  out  a  note.  A  wicked  shot  of  yours,  Mr 
Easy." 

*'  I  really  am  very  sorry,"  replied  Jack,  with  a  polite 
bow,  "  and  I  beg  to  offer  my  best  apology." 

During  this  conversation,  the  purser's  steward  felt  very 
faint,  and  thought  he  was  going  to  die. 

*'  Oh  dear  !  oh  dear  !  what  a  fool  I  was  :  I  never  was  a 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  163 

gentleman — only  a  swell:  I  shall  die;  I  never  will  pick  a 
pocket  again — never — never — God  forgive  me  !  " 

"Why,  confound  the  fellow,"  cried  Gascoigne,  **  so 
you  were  a  pickpocket,  were  you  ? " 

"  I  never  will  again,"  replied  the  fellow  in  a  faint  voice. 
' '  Hi'll  hamend  and  lead  a  good  life — a  drop  of  water — 
oh  !  lagged  at  last !  " 

Then  the  poor  wretch  fainted  away :  and  Mr  Tallboys 
coming  up  with  the  men,  he  was  taken  on  their  shoulders 
and  walked  off  to  the  hospital,  attended  by  the  gunner  and 
also  the  boatswain,  who  thought  he  might  as  well  have  a 
little  medical  advice  before  he  went  on  board. 

**  Well,  Easy,"  said  Gascoigne,  collecting  the  pistols 
and  tying  them  up  in  his  handkerchief,  '*  I'll  be  shot  but 
we're  in  a  pretty  scrape ;  there's  no  hushing  this  up.  I'll 
be  hanged  if  I  care,  it's  the  best  piece  of  fun  I  ever  met 
with."  And  at  the  remembrance  of  it  Gascoigne  laughed 
till  the  tears  ran  down  his  cheeks.  Jack's  mirth  was  not 
quite  so  excessive,  as  he  was  afraid  that  the  purser's 
steward  was  severely  hurt,  and  expressed  his  fears. 

"  At  all  events,  you  did  not  hit  him,"  replied  Gascoigne  ; 
*'  all  you  have  to  answer  for  is  the  boatswain's  mug, — I 
think  you've  stopped  his  jaw  for  the  future." 

"  I'm  afraid  that  our  leave  will  be  stopped  for  the 
future,"  replied  Jack. 

"  That  we  may  take  our  oaths  of,"  replied  Gascoigne. 

"Then  look  you,  Ned,"  said  Easy;  "I've  lots  of 
dollars — we  may  as  well  be  hanged  for  a  sheep  as  a  lamb, 
as  the  saying  is,  I  vote  that  we  do  not  go  on  board." 

"  Sawbridge  will  send  and  fetch  us,"  replied  Ned; 
"  but  he  must  find  us  first." 

"  That  won't  take  long,  for  the  soldiers  will  soon  have 
our  description  and  rout  us  out.  We  shall  be  pinned  in  a 
couple  of  days." 

"Confound  it,  and  they  say  that  the  ship  is  to  be  hove 
down,  and  that  we  shall  be  here  six  weeks  at  least,  cooped 
up  on  board  in  a  broiling  sun,  and  nothing  to  do  but  to 
watch  the  pilot  fish  playing  round  the  rudder  and  munch 


1 64  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

bad  apricots.  I  won't  go  on  board.  Look  ye,  Jack,'*  said 
Gascoigne,  "  have  you  plenty  of  money  .'* " 

"I  have  twenty  doubloons,  besides  dollars,"  replied 
Jack. 

"  "Well,  then,  we  will  pretend  to  be  so  much  alarmed  at 
the  result  of  this  duel  that  we  dare  not  show  ourselves 
lest  we  should  be  hung.  I  will  write  a  note  and  send  it 
to  Jolliffe,  to  say  that  we  have  hid  ourselves  until  the  affair 
is  blown  over,  and  beg  him  to  intercede  with  the  captain 
and  first  lieutenant.  I  will  tell  him  all  the  particulars,  and 
refer  to  the  gunner  for  the  truth  of  it ;  and  then  I  know 
that,  although  we  should  be  punished,  they  will  only 
laugh.  But  I  will  pretend  that  Easthupp  is  killed,  and  we 
are  frightened  out  of  our  lives.  That  will  be  it,  and  then 
let's  get  on  board  one  of  the  speronares  which  come  with 
fruit  from  Sicily,  sail  in  the  night  for  Palermo,  and  then 
we'll  have  a  cruise  for  a  fortnight,  and  when  the  money  is 
all  gone  we'll  come  back." 

"That's  a  capital  idea,  Ned,  and  the  sooner  we  do  it 
the  better.  I  will  write  to  the  captain,  begging  him  to 
get  me  off  from  being  hung,  and  telling  him  where  we 
have  fled  to,  and  that  letter  shall  be  given  after  we  have 
sailed." 

They  were  two  very  nice  lads — our  hero  and  Gascoigne. 


Chapter  XVIII 

In  which  our  hero  sets  off  on  another  cruise,  in  which  he  is  not  blown 

0^' shore. 

Gascoigne  and  our  hero  were  neither  of  them  in  uniform, 
and  they  hastened  to  Nix  Mangare  stairs,  where  they  soon 
picked  up  the  padrone  of  a  speronare.  They  went  with 
him  into  a  wine  shop,  and  with  the  assistance  of  a  little 
English  from  a  Maltese  boy,  whose  shirt  hung  out  of  his 
trousers,  they  made  a  bargain,  by  which  it  was  agreed  that, 
for  the  consideration  of  two  doubloons,  he  would  sail  that 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  165 

evening  and  land  them  at  Gergenti  or  some  other  town  in 
Sicily,  providing  them  with  something  to  eat  and  gregos 
to  sleep  upon. 

Our  two  midshipmen  then  went  back  to  the  tavern  from 
which  they  had  set  off  to  fight  the  duel,  and  ordering  a 
good  dinner  to  be  served  in  a  back  room,  they  amused 
themselves  with  killing  flies,  as  they  talked  over  the  events 
of  the  day  and  waited  for  their  dinner. 

As  Mr  Tallboys  did  not  himself  think  proper  to  go  on 
board  till  the  evening,  and  Mr  Biggs  also  wished  it  to  be 
dark  before  he  went  up  the  ship's  side,  the  events  of  the 
duel  did  not  transpire  till  the  next  morning.  Even  then  it 
was  not  known  from  the  boatswain  or  gunner,  but  by  a 
hospital  mate  coming  on  board  to  inform  the  surgeon  that 
there  was  one  of  their  men  wounded  under  their  charge, 
but  that  he  was  doing  very  well. 

Mr  Biggs  had  ascended  the  side  with  his  face  bound  up. 

*'  Confound  that  Jack  Easy,"  said  he,  "  I  have  only  been 
on  leave  twice  since  I  sailed  from  Portsmouth.  Once  I 
was  obliged  to  come  up  the  side  without  my  trousers,  and 
show  my  bare  stern  to  the  whole  ship's  company,  and  now 
I  am  coming  up,  and  dare  not  show  my  figure-head."  He 
reported  himself  to  the  officer  of  the  watch,  and  hastening 
to  his  cabin  went  to  bed  and  lay  the  whole  night  awake 
from  pain,  thinking  what  excuse  he  could  possibly  make 
for  not  coming  on  deck  next  morning  to  his  duty. 

He  was,  however,  saved  this  trouble,  for  Mr  Jolhffe 
brought  the  letter  of  Gascoigne  up  to  Mr  Sawbridge,  and 
the  captain  had  received  that  of  our  hero. 

Captain  Wilson  came  on  board  and  found  that  Mr 
Sawbridge  could  communicate  all  the  particulars  of  which 
he  had  not  been  acquainted  by  Jack  ;  and  after  they  had 
read  over  Gascoigne's  letter  in  the  cabin,  and  interrogated 
Mr  Tallboys,  who  was  sent  down  under  an  arrest,  they  gave 
free  vent  to  their  mirth. 

"  Upon  my  soul,  there's  no  end  to  Mr  Easy's  adventures," 
said  the  captain.  "  I  could  laugh  at  the  duel,  for  after  all 
it  is  nothing — and  he  would  have  been  let  off  with  a  severe 


i66  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

reprimand.  But  the  foolish  boys  have  set  off  in  a  speronare 
to  Sicily,  and  how  the  devil  are  we  to  get  them  back 
again  ? " 

"  They'll  come  back,  sir,"  replied  Sawbridge,  "  when  all 
their  money's  gone." 

"  Yes,  if  they  do  not  get  into  any  more  scrapes.  That 
young  scamp  Gascoigne  is  as  bad  as  Easy,  and  now  they 
are  together  there's  no  saying  what  may  happen.  I  dine 
at  the  governor's  to-day  j  how  he  will  laugh  when  I  tell 
him  of  this  new  way  of  fighting  a  duel !  " 

"  Yes,  sir,  it  is  just  the  thing  that  will  tickle  old  Tom." 

**We  must  find  out  if  they  have  got  off  the  island, 
Sawbridge,  which  may  not  be  the  case." 

But  it  was  the  case.  Jack  and  Gascoigne  had  eaten  a 
very  good  dinner,  sent  for  the  monkey  to  amuse  them  till 
it  was  dark,  and  there  had  waited  till  the  padrone  came  to 
them. 

"  What  shall  we  do  with  the  pistols.  Easy  ?" 

"  Take  them  with  us,  and  load  them  before  we  go — we 
may  want  them.  Who  knows  but  there  may  be  a  mutiny 
on  board  of  the  speronare  ?  I  wish  we  had  Mesty  with 
us." 

They  loaded  the  pistols,  took  a  pair  each  and  put  them 
in  their  waists,  concealed  under  their  clothes,  divided  the 
ammunition  between  them,  and  soon  afterwards  the  padrone 
came  to  tell  them  all  was  ready. 

Whereupon  Messrs  Gascoigne  and  Easy  paid  their  bill  and 
rose  to  depart,  but  the  padrone  informed  them  that  he  should 
like  to  see  the  colour  of  their  money  before  they  went  on 
board.  Jack,  very  indignant  at  the  insinuation  that  he  had 
not  sufficient  cash,  pulled  out  a  handful  of  doubloons,  and 
tossing  two  to  the  padrone,  asked  him  if  he  was  satisfied. 

The  padrone  untied  his  sash,  put  in  the  money,  and  with 
many  thanks  and  protestations  of  service,  begged  our  young 
gentlemen  to  accompany  him ;  they  did  so,  and  in  a  few 
minutes  were  clear  of  Nix  Mangare  stairs,  and,  passing 
close  to  his  Majesty's  ship  Harpy,  were  soon  out  of  the 
harbour  of  Valette. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  167 

Of  all  the  varieties  of  vessels  which  float  upon  the  wave, 
there  is  not,  perhaps,  one  that  bounds  over  the  water  so 
gracefully  or  so  lightly  as  a  speronare,  or  any  one  so 
picturesque  and  beautiful  to  the  eye  of  those  who  watch 
its  progress. 

The  night  was  clear,  and  the  stars  shone  out  brilliantly  as 
the  light  craft  skimmed  over  the  water,  and  a  fragment  of 
a  descending  and  waning  moon  threw  its  soft  beams  upon 
the  snow-white  sail.  The  vessel,  which  had  no  deck,  was 
full  of  baskets,  which]had  contained  grapes  and  various  fruits 
brought  from  the  ancient  granary  of  Rome,  still  as  fertile  and 
as  luxuriant  as  ever.  The  crew  consisted  of  the  padrone, 
two  men  and  a  boy  ;  the  three  latter,  with  their  gregos,  or 
night  great-coats  with  hoods,  sitting  forward  before  the 
sail,  with  their  eyes  fixed  on  the  land  as  they  flew  past 
point  after  point,  thinking  perhaps  of  their  wives,  or 
perhaps  of  their  sweethearts,  or  perhaps  not  thinking  at  all. 

The  padrone  remained  aft  at  the  helm,  offering  every 
politeness  to  our  two  young  gentlemen,  who  only  wished 
to  be  left  alone.  At  last  they  requested  the  padrone  to 
give  them  gregos  to  lie  down  upon,  as  they  wished  to  go 
to  sleep.  He  called  the  boy  to  take  the  helm,  procured 
them  all  they  required,  and  then  went  forward.  And  our 
two  midshipmen  laid  down  looking  at  the  stars  above  them 
for  some  minutes,  without  exchanging  a  word.  At  last 
Jack  commenced — 

"I  have  been  thinking,  Gascoigne,  that  this  is  very 
delightful.  My  heart  bounds  with  the  vessel,  and  it  almost 
appears  to  me  as  if  the  vessel  herself  was  rejoicing  in  her 
liberty.  Here  she  is  capering  over  the  waves  instead  of 
being  tied  by  the  nose  with  a  cable  and  anchor." 

"  That's  a  touch  of  the  sentimental.  Jack,"  replied 
Gascoigne ;  "but  she  is  no  more  free  than  she  was  when 
at  anchor,  for  she  now  is  forced  to  act  in  obedience  to  her 
steersman,  and  go  just  where  he  pleases.  You  may  just 
as  well  say  that  a  horse,  if  taken  out  of  the  stable,  is  free, 
with  the  curb,  and  his  rider  on  his  back." 

*'  That's  a  touch  of  the  rational,  Ned,  which  destroys 


1 68  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

the  illusion.  Never  mind,  we  are  free,  at  all  events. 
What  machines  we  are  on  board  of  a  man-of-war  !  we  walk, 
talk,  eat,  drink,  sleep,  and  get  up,  just  like  clock-work  j  we 
are  wound  up  to  go  the  twenty-four  hours,  and  then  wound 
up  again ;  just  like  old  Smallsole  does  the  chronometers." 

"  Very  true,  Jack  ;  but  it  does  not  appear  to  me,  that 
hitherto  you  have  kept  very  good  time  5  you  require  a  little 
more  regulating,"  said  Gascoigne. 

"  How  can  you  expect  any  piece  of  machinery  to  go 
well,  so  damnably  knocked  about  as  a  midshipman  is  ? " 
replied  our  hero. 

"  Very  true,  Jack  j  but  sometimes  you  don't  keep  any 
time,  for  you  don't  keep  any  watch.  Mr  Asper  don't  wind 
you  up.     You  don't  go  at  all." 

"  No  ;  because  he  allows  me  to  go  down  ;  but  still  I  do 
go,  Ned." 

**  Yes,  to  your  hammock — but  it's  no  go  with  old 
Smallsole,  if  I  want  a  bit  of  caulk.  But,  Jack,  what  do  you 
say — shall  we  keep  watch  to-night  ?  " 

•*  Why,  to  tell  you  the  truth,  I  have  been  thinking  the 
same  thing — I  don't  much  like  the  looks  of  the  padrone — 
he  squints." 

"  That's  no  proof  of  anything,  Jack,  except  that  his  eyes 
are  not  straight :  but  if  you  do  not  like  the  look  of  him,  I 
can  tell  you  that  he  very  much  liked  the  look  of  your 
doubloons — I  saw  him  start,  and  his  eyes  twinkled,  and  I 
thought  at  the  time  it  was  a  pity  you  had  not  paid  him  in 
dollars." 

**  It  was  very  foolish  in  me,  but  at  all  events  he  has  not 
seen  all.     He  saw  quite  enough,  Ned." 

"  Very  true,  but  you  should  have  let  him  see  the  pistols, 
and  not  have  let  him  see  the  doubloons." 

"  Well,  if  he  wishes  to  take  what  he  has  seen,  he  shall  re- 
ceive what  he  has  not  seen — why,  there  are  only  four  of  them." 

"  Oh,  I  have  no  fear  of  them,  only  it  may  be  as  well  to 
sleep  with  one  eye  open." 

"  When  shall  we  make  the  land  ?  " 

"  To-morrow  evening  with  this  wind,  and  it  appears  to 
be  steady.     Suppose  we  keep  watch  and  watch,  and  have 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  169 

our  pistols  out  ready,  with  the  great-coats  just  turned  over 
them,  to  keep  them  out  of  sight  ? " 

"  Agreed — it's  about  twelve  o'clock  now — who  shall 
keep  the  middle  watch  ?  " 

"  I  will.  Jack,  if  you  like  it." 

"Well,  then,  mind  you  kick  me  hard,  for  I  sleep 
devilish  sound.     Good-night,  and  keep  a  sharp  look-out." 

Jack  was  fast  asleep  in  less  than  ten  minutes ;  and 
Gascoigne,  with  his  pistols  lying  by  him  all  ready  for 
each  hand,  sat  up  at  the  bottom  of  the  boat. 

There  certainly  is  a  peculiar  providence  in  favour  of 
midshipmen  compared  with  the  rest  of  mankind  ;  they 
have  more  lives  than  a  cat — always  in  the  greatest  danger, 
but  always  escaping  from  it. 

The  padrone  of  the  vessel  had  been  captivated  with 
the  doubloons  which  Jack  had  so  foolishly  exposed  to 
his  view,  and  he  had,  moreover,  resolved  to  obtain  them. 
At  the  very  time  that  our  two  lads  were  conversing  aft, 
the  padrone  was  talking  the  matter  over  with  his  two 
men  forward,  and  it  was  agreed  that  they  should  murder, 
rifle,  and  then  throw  them  overboard. 

About  two  o'clock  in  the  morning,  the  padrone  came 
aft  to  see  if  they  were  asleep,  but  found  Gascoigne 
watching.  He  returned  aft  again  and  again,  but  found 
the  young  man  still  sitting  up.  Tired  of  waiting,  anxious 
to  possess  the  money,  and  not  supposing  that  the  lads 
were  armed,  he  went  once  more  forward  and  spoke  to 
the  men.  Gascoigne  had  watched  his  motions ;  he  thought 
it  singular  that,  with  three  men  in  the  vessel,  the  helm 
should  be  confided  to  the  boy — and  at  last  he  saw  them 
draw  their  knives.  He  pushed  our  hero,  who  woke 
immediately.  Gascoigne  put  his  hand  over  Jack's  mouth, 
that  he  might  not  speak,  and  then  whispered  his  suspicions- 
Jack  seized  his  pistols — they  both  cocked  them  without 
noise,  and  then  waited  in  silence.  Jack  still  lying  down, 
while  Gascoigne  continued  to  sit  up  at  the  bottom  of  the 
boat.  At  last  Gascoigne  saw  the  three  men  coming  aft — 
he  dropped  one  of  his  pistols  for  a  second  to  give  Jack 


170  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

a  squeeze  of  the  hand,  which  was  returned,  and  as 
Gascoigne  watched  them  making  their  way  through  the 
piles  of  empty  baskets  he  leaned  back  as  if  he  was 
slumbering.  The  padrone,  followed  by  the  two  men, 
was  at  last  aft, — they  paused  a  moment  before  they 
stepped  over  the  strengthening  plank,  which  ran  from 
side  to  side  of  the  boat  between  them  and  the  midshipmen, 
and  as  neither  of  them  stirred,  they  imagined  that  both 
were  asleep — advanced  and  raised  their  knives,  when 
Gascoigne  and  Jack,  almost  at  the  same  moment,  each 
discharged  their  pistols  into  the  breast  of  the  padrone  and 
one  of  the  men,  who  was  with  him  in  advance,  who  both 
fell  with  the  send  aft  of  the  boat,  so  as  to  encumber  the 
midshipmen  with  the  weight  of  their  bodies.  The  third 
man  started  back.  Jack,  who  could  not  rise,  from  the 
padrone  lying  across  his  legs,  took  a  steady  aim  with 
his  second  pistol,  and  the  third  man  fell.  The  boy  at 
the  helm,  who,  it  appeared,  either  was  aware  of  what 
was  to  be  done,  or  seeing  the  men  advance  with  their 
knives,  had  acted  upon  what  he  saw,  also  drew  his  knife 
and  struck  at  Gascoigne  from  behind ;  the  knife  for- 
tunately, after  slightly  wounding  Gascoigne  on  the 
shoulder,  had  shut  on  the  boy's  hand — Gascoigne  sprang 
up  with  his  other  pistol — the  boy  started  back  at  the 
sight  of  it,  lost  his  balance,  and  fell  overboard. 

Our  two  midshipmen  took  a  few  seconds  to  breathe. 

"I  say,  Jack,"  said  Gascoigne  at  last,  "did  you 
ever " 

"No,  I  never "  replied  Jack. 

"  What's  to  be  done  now  ?  " 

"  Why,  as  we've  got  possession,  Ned,  we  had  better  put 
a  man  at  the  helm — for  the  speronare  is  having  it  all  her 
own  way." 

"  Very  true,"  replied  Gascoigne,  "  and  as  I  can  steer 
better  than  you,  I  suppose  it  must  be  me." 

Gascoigne  went  to  the  helm,  brought  the  boat  up  to  the 
wind,  and  then  they  resumed  their  conversation. 

"  That  rascal  of  a  boy  gave  me  a  devil  of  a  lick  on  the 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  171 

shoulder  j  I  don't  know  whether  he  has  hurt  me — at  all 
events  it's  my  left  shoulder,  so  I  can  steer  just  as  well.  I 
wonder  whether  the  fellows  are  dead." 

"  The  padrone  is,  at  all  events,"  replied  Jack.  "  It  was 
as  much  as  I  could  do  to  get  my  legs  from  under  him — but 
we'll  wait  till  daylight  before  we  see  to  that — in  the  mean- 
tune,  I'll  load  the  pistols  again." 

"The  day  is  breaking  now — it  will  be  light  in  half  an 
hour  or  less.     What  a  devil  of  a  spree.  Jack  !  " 

"  Yes,  but  how  can  one  help  it  ?  We  ran  away  because 
two  men  are  wounded — and  now  we  are  obliged  to  kill 
four  in  self-defence." 

**  Yes,  but  that  is  not  the  end  of  it ;  when  we  get  to 
Sicily  what  are  we  to  do  ?  we  shall  be  imprisoned  by  the 
authorities — perhaps  hung." 

"  We'll  argue  that  point  with  them,"  replied  Jack. 

"We  had  better  argue  the  point  between  ourselves. 
Jack,  and  see  what  will  be  the  best  plan  to  get  out  of  our 
scrape." 

*'  I  think  that  we  just  have  got  out  of  it — never  fear  but 
we'll  get  out  of  the  next.  Do  you  know,  Gascoigne,  it 
appears  to  me  very  odd,  but  I  can  do  nothing  but  there's  a 
bobbery  at  the  bottom  of  it." 

"You  certainly  have  a  great  talent  that  way,  Jack. 
Don't  I  hear  one  of  those  poor  fellows  groan  ? " 

"  I  should  think  that  not  impossible." 

"  What  shall  we  do  with  them  ? " 

"We  will  argue  that  point,  Ned — we  must  either  keep 
their  bodies,  or  we  must  throw  them  overboard.  Either 
tell  the  whole  story,  or  say  nothing  about  it." 

"  That's  very  evident ;  in  short,  we  must  do  something, 
for  your  argument  goes  no  further.  But  now  let  us  take 
up  one  of  your  propositions." 

"Well,  then,  suppose  we  keep  the  bodies  on  board, 
run  into  a  seaport,  go  to  the  authorities,  and  state  all  the 
facts,  what  then  ? " 

"  We  shall  prove,  beyond  all  doubt,  that  we  have  killed 
three  men,  if  not  four ;  but  we  shall  not  prove  that  we 


172  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

were  obliged  so  to  do,  Jack.  And  then  we  are  heretics — 
we  shall  be  put  in  prison  till  they  are  satisfied  of  our 
innocence,  which  we  never  can  prove,  and  there  we  shall 
remain  until  we  have  written  to  Malta,  and  a  man-of-war 
comes  to  redeem  us,  if  we  are  not  stabbed  or  something 
else  in  the  meantime." 

"  That  will  not  be  a  very  pleasant  cruise,"  replied  Jack. 
**  Now  let's  argue  the  point  on  the  other  side." 

"There  is  some  difficulty  there — suppose  we  throw 
their  bodies  overboard,  toss  the  baskets  after  them,  wash 
the  boat  clean,  and  make  for  the  first  port.  "We  may 
chance  to  hit  upon  the  very  spot  from  which  they  sailed, 
and  then  there  will  be  a  pack  of  wives  and  children,  and  a 
populace  with  knives,  asking  us  what  has  become  of  the 
men  of  the  boat  !  " 

"  I  don't  much  like  the  idea  of  that,"  said  Jack. 

*'  And  if  we  don't  have  such  bad  luck,  still  we  shall  be 
interrogated  as  to  who  we  are,  and  how  we  were  adrift 
by  ourselves." 

"There  will  be  a  difficulty  about  that  again — we  must 
swear  that  it  is  a  party  of  pleasure,  and  that  we  are 
gentlemen  yachting." 

"  Without  a  crew  or  provisions — yachts  don't  sail  with 
a  clean-swept  hold,  or  gentlemen  without  a  spare  shirt — 
we  have  nothing  but  two  gallons  of  water  and  two  pairs 
of  pistols." 

"  I  have  it,"  said  Jack — "  we  are  two  young  gentlemen 
in  our  own  boat  who  went  out  to  Gozo  with  pistols  to 
shoot  sea-mews,  were  caught  in  a  gale,  and  blown  down 
to  Sicily — that  will  excite  interest." 

"That's  the  best  idea  yet,  as  it  will  account  for  our 
having  nothing  in  the  boat.  Well,  then,  at  all  events,  we 
will  get  rid  of  the  bodies  ;  but  suppose  they  are  not  dead 
— we  cannot  throw  them  overboard  alive, — that  will  be 
murder." 

"Very  true,"  replied  Jack,  "then  we  must  shoot  them 
first,  and  toss  them  overboard  afterwards." 

"  Upon  my  soul.  Easy,  you  are  an  odd  fellow  :  however. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  173 

go  and  examine  the  men,  and  we'll  decide  that  point  by- 
and-bye :  you  had  better  keep  your  pistol  ready  cocked, 
for  they  may  be  shamming." 

"  Devil  a  bit  of  sham  here,  anyhow,"  replied  Jack, 
pulling  at  the  body  of  the  padrone,  **  and  as  for  this 
fellow  you  shot,  you  might  put  your  fist  into  his  chest. 
Now  for  the  third,"  continued  Jack,  stepping  over  the 
strengthening  piece — "he's  all  among  the  baskets.  I  say, 
my  cock,  are  you  dead  ? "  and  Jack  enforced  his  question 
with  a  kick  in  the  ribs.  The  man  groaned.  "  That's 
unlucky,  Gascoigne,  but  however,  I'll  soon  settle  him," 
said  Jack,  pointing  his  pistol. 

"  Stop,  Jack,"  cried  Gascoigne,  "  it  really  will  be 
murder." 

"  No  such  thing,  Ned ;  I'll  just  blow  his  brains  out, 
and  then  I'll  come  aft  and  argue  the  point  with  you." 

**  Now  do  oblige  me  by  coming  aft  and  arguing  the 
point  first.     Do,  Jack,  I  beg  of  you — I  entreat  you." 

"  With  all  my  heart,"  replied  Jack,  resuming  his  seat 
by  Gascoigne ;  "  I  assert,  that  in  this  instance  killing's  no 
murder.  You  will  observe,  Ned,  that  by  the  laws  of 
society,  any  one  who  attempts  the  life  of  another  has 
forfeited  his  own ;  at  the  same  time,  as  it  is  necessary  that 
the  fact  should  be  clearly  proved,  and  justice  be  duly 
administered,  the  parties  are  tried,  convicted,  and  then  are 
sentenced  to  the  punishment." 

"  I  grant  all  that." 

"  In  this  instance  the  attempt  has  been  clearly  proved ; 
we  are  the  witnesses,  and  are  the  judges  and  jury,  and 
society  in  general,  for  the  best  of  all  possible  reasons, 
because  there  is  nobody  else.  These  men's  lives,  being 
therefore  forfeited  to  society,  belong  to  us ;  and  it  does 
not  follow  because  they  were  not  all  killed  in  the  attempt, 
that  therefore  they  are  not  now  to  be  brought  out  for 
punishment.  And  as  there  is  no  common  hangman  here, 
we,  of  course,  must  do  this  duty  as  well  as  every  other. 
I  have  now  clearly  proved  that  I  am  justified  in  what  I  am 
about  to  do.     But  the  argument  does  not  stop  there — 


174  ^^  Midshipman  Easy 

self-preservation  is  the  first  law  of  nature,  and  if  we  do 
not  get  rid  of  this  man,  what  is  the  consequence  ? — that 
we  shall  have  to  account  for  his  being  wounded,  and  then, 
instead  of  judges,  we  shall  immediately  be  placed  in  the 
position  of  culprits,  and  have  to  defend  ourselves  without 
witnesses.  We  therefore  risk  our  lives  from  a  misplaced 
lenity  towards  a  wretch  unworthy  to  live." 

"  Your  last  argument  is  strong,  Easy,  but  I  cannot 
consent  to  your  doing  what  may  occasion  you  uneasiness 
hereafter  when  you  think  of  it." 

"  Pooh !  nonsense — I  am  a  philospher." 

**  Of  what  school,  Jack  ?  Oh,  I  presume  you  are  a 
disciple  of  Mesty's.  I  do  not  mean  to  say  that  you  are 
wrong,  but  still  hear  my  proposition.  Let  us  lower  down 
the  sail,  and  then  I  can  leave  the  helm  to  assist  you.  We 
will  clear  the  vessel  of  everything  except  the  man  who 
is  still  alive.  At  all  events  we  may  wait  a  little,  and  if 
at  last  there  is  no  help  for  it,  I  will  then  agree  with  you 
to  launch  him  overboard,  even  if  he  is  not  quite  dead." 

"  Agreed ;  even  by  your  own  making  out,  it  will  be 
no  great  sin.  He  is  half  dead  already — I  only  do  half 
the  work  of  tossing  him  over,  so  it  will  be  only  quarter 
murder  on  my  part,  and  he  would  have  shown  no  quarter 
on  his."  Here  Jack  left  off  arguing  and  punning,  and 
went  forward  and  lowered  down  the  sail.  "  I've  half  a 
mind  to  take  my  doubloons  back,"  said  Jack,  as  they 
launched  over  the  body  of  the  padrone,  **  but  he  may 
have  them — I  wonder  whether  they'll  ever  turn  up  again." 

"  Not  in  our  time,  Jack,"  replied  Gascoigne. 

The  other  body,  and  all  the  basket  lumber,  &c.,  were 
then  tossed  over,  and  the  boat  was  cleared  of  all  but  the 
man  who  was  not  yet  dead. 

"  Now  let's  examine  the  fellow,  and  see  if  he  has  any 
chance  of  recovery,"  said  Gascoigne. 

The  man  lay  on  his  side  j  Gascoigne  turned  him  over 
and  found  that  he  was  dead. 

"  Over  with  him,  quick,"  said  Jack,  "  before  he  comes 
to  life  again." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  175 

The  body  disappeared  under  the  wave  —  they  again' 
hoisted  the  sail.  Gascoigne  took  the  helm,  and  our  hero 
proceeded  to  draw  water  and  wash  away  the  stains  of 
blood ;  he  then  cleared  the  boat  of  vine  -  leaves  and 
rubbish,  with  which  it  was  strewed,  swept  it  clean  fore 
and  aft,  and  resumed  his  seat  by  his  comrade. 

'*  There,"  said  Jack,  **  now  we've  swept  the  decks, 
we  may  pipe  to  dinner.  I  wonder  whether  there  is 
anything  to  eat  in  the  locker." 

Jack  opened  it,  and  found  some  bread,  garlic,  sausages, 
a  bottle  of  aquadente,  and  a  jar  of  wine. 

"  So  the  padrone  did  keep  his  promise,  after  all." 

"  Yes,  and  had  you  not  tempted  him  with  the  sight 
of  so  much  gold,  might  now  have  been  alive." 

"  To  which  I  reply,  that  if  you  had  not  advised  our 
going  off  in  a  speronare,  he  would  now  have  been  alive." 

"  And  if  you  had  not  fought  a  duel,  I  should  not  have 
given  the  advice." 

**  And  if  the  boatswain  had  not  been  obliged  to  come 
on  board  without  his  trousers  at  Gibraltar,  I  should  not 
have  fought  a  duel." 

"  And  if  you  had  not  joined  the  ship,  the  boatswain 
would  have  had  his  trousers  on." 

"  And  if  my  father  had  not  been  a  philosopher,  I  should 
not  have  gone  to  sea  j  so  that  it  is  all  my  father's  fault, 
and  he  has  killed  four  men  off  the  coast  of  Sicily  without 
knowing  it — cause  and  effect.  After  all,  there's  nothing 
like  argument ;  so,  having  settled  that  point,  let  us  go 
to  dinner." 

Having  finished  their  meal.  Jack  went  forward  and 
observed  the  land  ahead;  they  steered  the  same  course 
for  three  or  four  hours. 

"  We  must  haul  our  wind  more,"  said  Gascoigne  j  "it 
will  not  do  to  put  into  any  small  town ;  we  have  now 
to  choose  whether  we  shall  land  on  the  coast  and  sink  the 
speronare,  or  land  at  some  large  town." 

'*  We  must  argue  that  point,"  rephed  Jack. 

**  In  the  meantime,  do  you  take  the  helm,  for  my  arm 


176  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

is  quite  tired,"  replied  Gascoigne  :  **  you  can  steer  well 
enough :  by-the-bye,  I  may  as  well  look  at  my  shoulder, 
for  it  is  quite  stiff."  Gascoigne  pulled  off  his  coat,  and 
found  his  shirt  bloody  and  sticking  to  the  wound,  which, 
as  we  before  observed,  was  slight.  He  again  took  th6 
helm,  while  Jack  washed  it  clean,  and  then  bathed  it 
with  aquadente. 

"  Now  take  the  helm  again,"  said  Gascoigne ;  "  I'm 
on  the  sick  list." 

"  And  as  surgeon — I'm  an  idler,"  replied  Jack  ;  "  but 
what  shall  we  do .'' "  continued  he  j  **  abandon  the 
speronare  at  night  and  sink  her,  or  run  in  for  a  town  ? " 

"  We  shall  fall  in  with  plenty  of  boats  and  vessels  if 
we  coast  it  up  to  Palermo,  and  they  may  overhaul  us." 

"We  shall  fall  in  with  plenty  of  people  if  we  go  on 
shore,  and  they  will  overhaul  us." 

"  Do  you  know.  Jack,  that  I  wish  we  were  back  and 
alongside  of  the  Harpy  ;  I've  had  cruising  enough." 

"  My  cruises  are  so  unfortunate,"  replied  Jack  ;  "  they 
are  too  full  of  adventure  ;  but  then  I  have  never  yet  had 
a  cruise  on  shore.  Now,  if  we  could  only  get  to  Palermo, 
we  should  be  out  of  all  our  difficulties." 

"The  breeze  freshens.  Jack,"  replied  Gascoigne;  "and 
it  begins  to  look  very  dirty  to  windward.  I  think  we 
shall  have  a  gale." 

"  Pleasant — I  know  what  it  is  to  be  short-handed  in  a 
gale ;  however,  there's  one  comfort,  we  shall  not  be 
blown  1^  shore  this  time." 

"  No,  but  we  may  be  wrecked  on  a  lee  shore.  She 
cannot  carry  her  whole  sail.  Easy  ;  we  must  lower  it 
down,  and  take  in  a  reef;  the  sooner  the  better,  for  it 
will  be  dark  in  an  hour.  Go  forward  and  lower  it  down, 
and  then  I'll  help  you." 

Jack  did  so,  but  the  sail  went  into  the  water,  and  he 
could  not  drag  it  in." 

"  Avast  heaving,"  said  Gascoigne,  "  till  I  throw  her 
up  and  take  the  wind  out  of  it." 

This  was  done ;    they   reefed  the   sail,   but  could   not 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  177 

hoist  it  up  :  if  Gascoigne  left  the  helm  to  help  jack,  the 
sail  filled  ;  if  he  went  to  the  helm  and  took  the  wind  out 
of  the  sail,  Jack  was  not  strong  enough  to  hoist  it.  The 
wind  increased  rapidly,  and  the  sea  got  up ;  the  sun  went 
down,  and  with  the  sail  half  hoisted,  they  could  not  keep 
to  the  wind,  but  were  obliged  to  run  right  for  the  land. 
The  speronare  flew,  rising  on  the  crest  of  the  waves  with 
half  her  keel  clear  of  the  water  :  the  moon  was  already 
up,  and  gave  them  light  enough  to  perceive  that  they 
were  not  five  miles  from  the  coast,  which  was  lined  with 
foam. 

'*  At  all  events  they  can't  accuse  us  of  running  away 
with  the  boat,"  observed  Jack ;  "  for  she's  running  away 
with  us." 

**  Yes,"  replied  Gascoigne,  dragging  at  the  tiller  with 
all  his  strength ;  "  she  has  taken  the  bit  between  her 
teeth." 

"  I  wouldn't  care  if  I  had  a  bit  between  mine,"  replied 
Jack;  "for  I  feel  devilish  hungry  again.  What  do  you 
say,  Ned  ? " 

"  "With  all  my  heart,"  replied  Gascoigne ;  **  but,  do 
you  know.  Easy,  it  may  be  the  last  meal  we  ever  make." 

"  Then  I  vote  it's  a  good  one — but  why  so,  Ned  ? " 

"  In  half  an  hour,  or  thereabouts,  we  shall  be  on  shore." 

"  Well,  that's  where  we  want  to  go." 

"  Yes,  but  the  sea  runs  high,  and  the  boat  may  be 
dashed  to  pieces  on  the  rocks." 

"  Then  we  shall  be  asked  no  questions  about  her  or 
the  men." 

"Very  true,  but  a  lee  shore  is  no  joke;  we  may  be 
knocked  to  pieces  as  well  as  the  boat — even  swimming  may 
not  help  us.  If  we  could  find  a  cove  or  sandy  beach,  we 
might  perhaps  manage  to  get  on  shore." 

"Well,"  replied  Jack,  "I  have  not  been  long  at  sea, 
and,  of  course,  cannot  know  much  about  these  things.  I 
have  been  blown  off  shore,  but  I  never  have  been  blown 
on.  It  may  be  as  you  say,  but  I  do  not  see  the  great 
danger — let's  run  her  right  up  on  the  beach  at  once." 

E  M 


178  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

**  That's  what  I  shall  try  to  do,"  replied  Gascoigne,  who 
had  been  four  years  at  sea,  and  knew  very  well  what  he 
was  about. 

Jack  handed  him  a  huge  piece  of  bread  and  sausage. 

"  Thank  ye,  I  cannot  eat." 

"  I  can,"  replied  Jack,  with  his  mouth  full. 

Jack  ate  while  Gascoigne  steered  j  and  the  rapidity  with 
which  the  speronare  rushed  to  the  beach  was  almost  fright- 
ful. She  darted  like  an  arrow  from  wave  to  wave,  and 
appeared  as  if  mocking  their  attempts  as  they  curled  their 
summits  almost  over  her  narrow  stern.  They  were  within 
a  mile  of  the  beach,  when  Jack,  who  had  finished  his  sup- 
per, and  was  looking  at  the  foam  boiling  on  the  coast, 
exclaimed — 

"That's  very  fine — very  beautiful,  upon  my  soul !  " 

"  He  cares  for  nothing,"  thought  Gascoigne ;  "  he 
appears  to  have  no  idea  of  danger." 

"  Now,  my  dear  fellow,"  said  Gascoigne,  "  in  a  few 
minutes  we  shall  be  on  the  rocks.  I  must  continue  at  the 
helm,  for  the  higher  she  is  forced  up  the  better  chance  for 
us  5  but  we  may  not  meet  again,  so  if  we  do  not,  good-bye 
and  God  bless  you." 

"  Gascoigne,"  said  Jack,  "  you  are  hurt,  and  I  am  not ; 
your  shoulder  is  stiff,  and  you  can  hardly  move  your  left 
arm.  Now  I  can  steer  for  the  rocks  as  well  as  you.  Do 
you  go  to  the  bow,  and  there  you  will  have  a  better  chance. 
— By-the-bye,"  continued  he,  picking  up  his  pistols,  and 
sticking  them  into  his  waist,  "  I  won't  leave  them,  they've 
served  us  too  good  a  turn  already.  Gascoigne,  give  me 
the  helm." 

"  No,  no.  Easy." 

"  I  say  yes,"  replied  Jack,  in  a  loud,  authoritative  tone, 
"  and  what's  more,  I  will  be  obeyed,  Gascoigne.  I  have 
nerve,  if  I  haven't  knowledge,  and  at  all  events  I  can  steer 
for  the  beach.  I  tell  you,  give  me  the  helm.  Well,  then, 
if  you  won't,  I  must  take  it." 

Easy  wrested  the  tiller  from  Gascoigne's  hand,  and  gave 
him  a  shove  forward. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  179 

"  Now  do  you  look  out  ahead,  and  tell  me  how  to 
steer." 

Whatever  may  have  been  Gascoigne's  feelings  at  this 
behaviour  of  our  hero's,  it  immediately  occurred  to  him 
that  he  could  not  do  better  than  to  run  the  speronare  to 
the  safest  point,  and  that  therefore  he  was  probably  more 
advantageously  employed  than  if  he  were  at  the  helm.  He 
went  forward  and  looked  at  the  rocks,  covered  at  one 
moment  with  the  tumultuous  waters,  and  then  pouring 
down  cascades  from  their  sides  as  the  waves  recoiled.  He 
perceived  a  chasm  right  ahead,  and  he  thought  if  the  boat 
was  steered  for  that,  she  must  be  thrown  up  so  as  to 
enable  them  to  get  clear  of  her,  for,  at  every  other  part, 
escape  appeared  impossible. 

"  Starboard  a  little — that'll  do.  Steady — port  it  is — 
port. — Steer  small,  for  your  life.  Easy.  Steady  now — 
mind  the  yard  don't  hit  your  head — hold  on." 

The  speronare  was  at  this  moment  thrown  into  a  large 
cleft  in  a  rock,  the  sides  of  which  were  nearly  perpendi- 
cular ;  nothing  else  could  have  saved  them,  as,  had  they 
struck  the  rock  outside,  the  boat  would  have  been  dashed 
to  pieces,  and  its  fragments  have  disappeared  in  the 
undertow.  As  it  was,  the  cleft  was  not  four  feet  more 
than  the  width  of  the  boat,  and  as  the  waves  hurled  her 
up  into  it,  the  yard  of  the  speronare  was  thrown  fore  and 
aft  with  great  violence,  and  had  not  Jack  been  warned,  he 
would  have  been  struck  overboard  without  a  chance  of 
being  saved  •,  but  he  crouched  down  and  it  passed  over 
him.  As  the  water  receded,  the  boat  struck,  and  was 
nearly  dry  between  the  rocks,  but  another  wave  followed, 
dashing  the  boat  further  up,  but,  at  the  same  time,  filling 
it  with  water.  The  bow  of  the  boat  was  now  several  feet 
higher  than  the  stern,  where  Jack  held  on;  and  the 
weight  of  the  water  in  her,  with  the  force  of  the  returning 
waves,  separated  her  right  across  abaft  the  mast.  Jack 
perceived  that  the  after  part  of  the  boat  was  going  out 
again  with  the  wave ;  he  caught  hold  of  the  yard  which 
had  swung  fore  and  aft,  and  as  he  clung  to  it,  the  part  of 


i8o  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

the  boat  on  which  he  had  stood  disappeared  from  under 
him,  and  was  swept  away  by  the  returning  current. 

Jack  required  the  utmost  of  his  strength  to  maintain  his 
position  until  another  wave  floated  him,  and  dashed  him 
higher  up :  but  he  knew  his  Hfe  depended  on  holding  on 
to  the  yard,  which  he  did,  although  under  water,  and 
advanced  several  feet.  When  the  wave  receded,  he  found 
footing  on  the  rock,  and  still  clinging,  he  walked  till  he 
had  gained  the  fore  part  of  the  boat,  which  was  wedged 
firmly  into  a  narrow  part  of  the  cleft.  The  next  wave 
was  not  very  large,  and  he  had  gained  so  much  that 
it  did  not  throw  him  off  his  legs.  He  reached  the  rock, 
and  as  he  climbed  up  the  side  of  the  chasm  to  gain  the 
ledge  above,  he  perceived  Gascoigne  standing  above  him, 
and  holding  out  his  hand  to  his  assistance. 

"WeU,"  says  Jack,  shaking  himself  to  get  rid  of  the 
water,  "  here  we  are  ashore,  at  last — I  had  no  idea  of 
anything  like  this.  The  rush  back  of  the  water  was 
so  strong  that  it  has  almost  torn  my  arms  out  of  their 
sockets.  How  very  lucky  I  sent  you  forward  with  your 
disabled  shoulder  !  By-the-bye,  now  that  it's  all  over,  and 
you  must  see  that  I  was  right,  I  beg  to  apologise  for 
my  rudeness." 

*'  There  needs  no  apology  for  saving  my  life,  Easy," 
repHed  Gascoigne,  trembling  with  the  cold  j  "  and  no  one 
but  you  would  ever  have  thought  of  making  one  at  such 
a  moment." 

*'  I  wonder  whether  the  ammunition's  dry,"  said  Jack ; 
**  I  put  it  all  in  my  hat." 

Jack  took  ofF  his  hat,  and  found  the  cartridges  had 
not  suffered. 

"  Now,  then,  Gascoigne,  what  shall  we  do  .?  " 

"  I  hardly  know,"  replied  Gascoigne. 

**  Suppose,  then,  we  sit  down  and  argue  the  point.'^ 

"  No,  I  thank  you,  there  will  be  too  much  cold  water 
thrown  upon  our  arguments — I'm  half  dead ;  let  us 
walk  on." 

"  With  all  my  heart,"  said  Jack,  "  it's  devilish  steep, 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  i8i 

but  I  can  argue  up  hill  or  down  hill,  wet  or  dry — I'm  used 
to  it — for,  as  I  told  you  before,  Ned,  my  father  is  a 
philosopher,  and  so  am  I." 

"  By  the   Lord  !    you   are^''   replied   Gascoigne,   as   he 
walked  on. 


Chapter  XIX 

In  which  our  hero  follows  his  destiny  and  forms  a  tableau. 

Our  hero  and  his  comrade  climbed  the  precipice,  and, 
after  some  minutes'  severe  toil,  arrived  at  the  summit, 
when  they  sat  down  to  recover  themselves.  The  sky  was 
clear,  although  the  gale  blew  strong.  They  had  an 
extensive  view  of  the  coast,  lashed  by  the  angry  waves. 

"  It's  my  opinion,  Ned,"  said  Jack,  as  he  surveyed  the 
expanse  of  troubled  water,  •'  that  we're  just  as  well  out 
of  that." 

"  I  agree  with  you.  Jack ;  but  it's  also  my  opinion  that 
we  should  be  just  as  well  out  of  this,  for  the  wind  blows 
through  one.  Suppose  we  go  a  little  further  inland, 
where  we  may  find  some  shelter  till  the  morning." 

**  It's  rather  dark  to  find  anything,"  rejoined  our  hero  j 
"  but  however,  a  westerly  gale  on  the  top  of  a  mountain 
with  wet  clothes  in  the  middle  of  the  night,  with  nothing 
to  eat  or  drink,  is  not  the  most  comfortable  position 
in  the  world,  and  we  may  change  for  the  better." 

They  proceeded  over  a  flat  of  a  hundred  yards,  and  then 
descended — the  change  in  the  atmosphere  was  immediate. 
As  they  continued  their  march  inland,  they  came  to  a  high 
road,  which  appeared  to  run  along  the  shore,  and  they 
turned  into  it ;  for,  as  Jack  said  very  truly,  a  road  must 
lead  to  something.  After  a  quarter  of  an  hour's  walk, 
they  again  heard  the  rolling  of  the  surf,  and  perceived  the 
white  walls  of  houses. 

"  Here  we  are  at  last,"  said  Jack.  **  I  wonder  if  any 
^ne  will  turn  out  to  take  us  in,  or  shall  we  stow  away  for 


1 82  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

the  night  in  one  of  those  vessels  hauled  up  on  the 
beach  ? " 

"Recollect  this  time,  Easy,"  said  Gascoigne,  "not  to 
show  your  money  ;  that  is,  show  only  a  dollar,  and  say 
you  have  no  more ;  or  promise  to  pay  when  we  arrive  at 
Palermo ;  and  if  they  will  neither  trust  us,  nor  give  to  us, 
we  must  make  it  out  as  we  can." 

"  How  the  cursed  dogs  bark  !  I  think  we  shall  do  very 
well  this  time,  Gascoigne ;  we  do  not  look  as  if  we  were 
worth  robbing,  at  all  events,  and  we  have  the  pistols 
to  defend  ourselves  with  if  we  are  attacked.  Depend 
upon  it  I  will  show  no  more  gold.  And  now  let  us  make 
our  arrangements.  Take  you  one  pistol  and  take  half  the 
gold — I  have  it  all  in  my  right-hand  pocket — my  dollars 
and  pistarenes  in  my  left.  You  shall  take  half  of  them 
too.  We  have  silver  enough  to  go  on  with  till  we  are  in 
a  safe  place." 

Jack  then  divided  the  money  in  the  dark,  and  also  gave 
Gascoigne  a  pistol. 

"  Now,  then,  shall  we  knock  for  admittance  ? — Let's 
first  walk  through  the  village,  and  see  if  there's  anything 
like  an  inn.  Those  yelping  curs  will  soon  be  at  our  heels  ; 
they  come  nearer  and  nearer  every  time.  There's  a  cart, 
and  it's  full  of  straw — suppose  we  go  to  bed  till  to-morrow 
morning — we  shall  be  warm,  at  all  events." 

"  Yes,"  replied  Gascoigne,  "  and  sleep  much  better 
than  in  any  of  the  cottages.  I  have  been  in  Sicily  before, 
and  you  have  no  idea  how  the  fleas  bite." 

Our  two  midshipmen  climbed  up  into  the  cart,  nestled 
themselves  into  the  straw,  or  rather  Indian  corn  leaves, 
and  were  soon  fast  asleep.  As  they  had  not  slept  for  two 
nights,  it  is  not  to  be  wondered  at  that  they  slept  soundly 
— so  soundly,  indeed,  that  about  two  hours  after  they  had 
got  into  their  comfortable  bed,  the  peasant,  who  had 
brought  to  the  village  some  casks  of  wine  to  be  shipped 
and  taken  down  the  coast  in  a  felucca,  yoked  his  bullocks, 
and  not  being  aware  of  his  freight,  drove  off,  without  in 
any  way  disturbing  their  repose,  although  the  roads 
in  Sicily  are  not  yet  macadamised. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  183 

The  jolting  of  the  roads  rather  increased  than  disturbed 
the  sleep  of  our  adventurers  ;  and,  although  there  were 
some  rude  shocks,  it  only  had  the  effect  of  making  them 
fancy  in  their  dreams  that  they  were  again  in  the  boat, 
and  that  she  was  still  dashing  against  the  rocks.  In  about 
two  hours,  the  cart  arrived  at  its  destination — the  peasant 
unyoked  his  bullocks  and  led  them  away.  The  same 
cause  will  often  produce  contrary  effects :  the  stopping  of 
the  motion  of  the  cart  disturbed  the  rest  of  our  two 
midshipmen ;  they  turned  round  in  the  straw,  yawned, 
spread  out  their  arms,  and  then  awoke.  Gascoigne,  who 
felt  considerable  pain  in  his  shoulder,  was  the  first  to  recall 
his  scattered  senses. 

"  Easy,"  cried  he,  as  he  sat  up  and  shook  off  the  corn 
leaves. 

"Port  it  is,"  said  Jack,  half  dreaming. 

"Come,  Easy,  you  are  not  on  board  now.  Rouse  and 
bitt." 

Jack  then  sat  up  and  looked  at  Gascoigne.  The  forage 
in  the  cart  was  so  high  round  them  that  they  could  not  see 
above  it ;  they  rubbed  their  eyes,  yawned,  and  looked  at 
each  other. 

"Have  you  any  faith  in  dreams?"  said  Jack  to  Gascoigne, 
"  because  I  had  a  very  queer  one  last  night." 

"  Well,  so  had  I,"  replied  Gascoigne.  "  I  dreamt  that 
the  cart  rolled  by  itself  into  the  sea,  and  went  away  with 
us  right  in  the  wind's  eye  back  to  Malta ;  and  considering 
that  it  never  was  built  for  such  service,  she  behaved  un- 
commonly well.     Now,  what  was  your  dream  ? " 

"  Mine  was,  that  we  woke  up  and  found  ourselves  in 
the  very  town  from  which  the  speronare  had  sailed,  and 
that  they  had  found  the  fore  part  of  the  speronare  among 
the  rocks,  had  recognised  her,  and  picked  up  one  of  our 
pistols.  That  they  had  laid  hold  of  us,  and  had  insisted 
that  we  had  been  thrown  on  shore  in  the  boat,  and  asked 
us  what  had  become  of  the  crew — they  were  just  seizing 
us,  when  I  awoke." 

"  Your  dream  is  more  likely  to  come  true  than  mine. 


184  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

Easy ;  but  still  I  think  we  need  not  fear  that.  At  the 
same  time,  we  had  better  not  remain  here  any  longer ;  and 
it  occurs  to  me,  that  if  we  tore  our  clothes  more,  it  would 
be  advisable — we  shall,  in  the  first  place,  look  more 
wretched  j  and,  in  the  next  place,  can  replace  them  with 
the  dress  of  the  country,  and  so  travel  without  exciting 
suspicion.    You  know  that  I  can  speak  Italian  pretty  well." 

"  I  have  no  objection  to  tear  my  clothes  if  you  wish," 
replied  Jack ;  "  at  the  same  time  give  me  your  pistol ;  I 
will  draw  the  charges  and  load  them  again.  They  must 
be  wet." 

Having  reloaded  the  pistols  and  rent  their  garments,  the 
two  midshipmen  stood  up  in  the  cart  and  looked  about 
them. 

"  Halloo  ! — why  how's  this,  Gascoigne  ?  last  night  we 
were  close  to  the  beach,  and  among  houses,  and  now — 
where  the  devil  are  we  ?  You  dreamt  nearer  the  mark 
than  I  did,  for  the  cart  has  certainly  taken  a  cruise." 

**  We  must  have  slept  like  midshipmen,  then,"  replied 
Gascoigne  :  "  surely  it  cannot  have  gone  far." 

"  Here  we  are,  surrounded  by  hills  on  every  side,  for  at 
least  a  couple  of  miles.  Surely  some  good  genius  has 
transported  us  into  the  interior,  that  we  might  escape  from 
the  relatives  of  the  crew  whom  I  dreamt  about,"  said  Jack, 
looking  at  Gascoigne. 

As  it  afterwards  was  known  to  them,  the  speronare  had 
sailed  from  the  very  seaport  in  which  they  had  arrived 
that  night,  and  where  they  had  got  into  the  cart.  The 
wreck  of  the  speronare  had  been  found,  and  had  been 
recognised,  and  it  was  considered  by  the  inhabitants  that 
the  padrone  and  his  crew  had  perished  in  the  gale.  Had 
they  found  our  two  midshipmen  and  questioned  them,  it  is 
not  improbable  that  suspicion  might  have  been  excited, 
and  the  results  have  been  such  as  our  hero  had  conjured 
up  in  his  dream.  But,  as  we  said  before,  there  is  a  peculiar 
providence  for  midshipmen. 

On  a  minute  survey,  they  found  that  they  were  in  an 
open  space  which,  apparently,  had  been  used  for  thrashing 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  185 

and  winnowing   maize,  and   that   the   cart  was   standing 
under  a  clump  of  trees  in  the  shade. 

*•  There  ought  to  be  a  house  hereabouts,"  said 
Gascoigne,  "  I  should  think  that  behind  the  trees  we 
shall  find  one.  Come,  Jack,  you  are  as  hungry  as  I  am, 
I'll  answer  for  it :  we  must  look  out  for  a  breakfast  some- 
where." 

"If  they  won't  give  us  something  to  eat,  or  sell  it," 
replied  Jack,  who  was  ravenous,  clutching  his  pistol,  "  I 
shall  take  it — I  consider  it  no  robbery.  The  fruits  of  the 
earth  were  made  for  us  all,  and  it  never  was  intended  that 
one  man  should  have  a  superfluity  and  another  starve. 
The  laws  of  equality " 

"  May  appear  very  good  arguments  to  a  starving  man,  I 
grant,  but  still  won't  prevent  his  fellow-creatures  from 
hanging  him,"  replied  Gascoigne.  **None  of  your  con- 
founded nonsense.  Jack ;  no  man  starves  with  money  in 
his  pocket,  and  as  long  as  you  have  that,  leave  those  that 
have  none  to  talk  about  equality  and  the  rights  of  man." 

"I  should  like  to  argue  that  point  with  you,  Gascoigne." 

"  Tell  me,  do  you  prefer  sitting  down  here  to  argue,  or 
to  look  out  for  some  breakfast.  Jack  ? " 

"  Oh,  the  argument  may  be  put  off,  but  hunger  cannot." 

"  That's  very  good  philosophy.  Jack,  so  let's  go  on." 

They  went  through  the  copse  of  wood,  which  was  very 
thick,  and  soon  discovered  the  wall  of  a  large  house  on  the 
other  side. 

"All  right,"  said  Jack;  "but  still  let  us  reconnoitre. 
It's  not  a  farm-house ;  it  must  belong  to  a  person  of  some 
consequence — all  the  better — they  will  see  that  we  are 
gentlemen,  notwithstanding  our  tattered  dress.  I  suppose 
we  are  to  stick  to  the  story  of  the  sea-mews  at  Gozo  ? " 

"  Yes,"  replied  Gascoigne  j  "I  can  think  of  nothing 
better.  But  the  English  are  well  received  in  this  island ; 
we  have  troops  at  Palermo." 

"  Have  we  ?  I  wish  I  was  sitting  down  at  the  mess- 
table — but  what's  that  ?  a  woman  screaming  ?  Yes,  by 
heavens  ! — come   along,  Ned."     And   away   dashed   Jack 


i86  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

towards  the  house  followed  by  Gascolgne.  As  they 
advanced  the  screams  redoubled ;  they  entered  the  porch, 
burst  into  the  room  from  whence  they  proceeded,  and 
found  an  elderly  gentleman  defending  himself  against  two 
young  men,  who  were  held  back  by  an  elderly  and  a  young 
lady.  Our  hero  and  his  comrade  had  both  drawn  their 
pistols,  and  just  as  they  burst  open  the  door,  the  old 
gentleman  who  defended  himself  against  such  odds  had 
fallen  down.  The  two  others  burst  from  the  women,  and 
were  about  to  pierce  him  with  their  swords,  when  Jack 
seized  one  by  the  collar  of  his  coat  and  held  him  fast, 
pointing  the  muzzle  of  the  pistol  to  his  ear :  Gascoigne 
did  the  same  to  the  other.  It  was  a  very  dramatic  tableau. 
The  two  women  flew  to  the  elderly  gentleman  and  raised 
him  up ;  the  two  assailants  being  held  just  as  dogs  hold 
pigs  by  the  ear,  trembling  with  fright,  with  the  points  of 
their  rapiers  dropped,  looked  at  the  midshipmen  and  the 
muzzles  of  their  pistols  with  equal  dismay  ;  at  the  same 
time,  the  astonishment  of  the  elderly  gentleman  and  the 
women,  at  such  an  unexpected  deliverance,  was  equally 
great.     There  was  a  silence  for  a  few  seconds. 

"  Ned,"  at  last  said  Jack,  *'  tell  these  chaps  to  drop  their 
swords,  or  we  fire." 

Gascoigne  gave  the  order  in  Italian,  and  it  was  complied 
with.  The  midshipmen  then  possessed  themselves  of  the 
rapiers,  and  gave  the  young  men  their  liberty. 

The  elderly  gentleman  at  last  broke  the  silence. 

"  It  would  appear,  signors,  that  there  was  a  special 
interference  of  Providence,  to  prevent  you  from  committing 
a  foul  and  unjust  murder.  Who  these  are  who  have  so 
opportunely  come  to  my  rescue,  I  know  not,  but  thanking 
them  as  I  do  now,  I  think  that  you  will  yourselves,  when 
you  are  calm,  also  thank  them  for  having  prevented  you 
from  committing  an  act  which  would  have  loaded  you 
with  remorse,  and  embittered  your  future  existence. 
Gentlemen,  you  are  free  to  depart :  you,  Don  Silvio,  have 
indeed  disappointed  me ;  your  gratitude  should  have 
rendered  you  incapable  of  such  conduct :  as  for  you,  Don 


/.„ 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  187 

Scipio,  you  have  been  misled  ;  but  you  both  have,  in  one 
point,  disgraced  yourselves.  Ten  days  back  my  sons  were 
both  here, — why  did  you  not  come  then  ?  If  you  sought 
revenge  on  me,  you  could  not  have  inflicted  it  deeper  than 
through  my  children,  and  at  least  you  would  not  have 
acted  the  part  of  assassins  in  attacking  an  old  man.  Take 
your  swords,  gentlemen,  and  use  them  better  henceforth. 
Against  future  attacks  I  shall  be  well  prepared." 

Gascoigne,  who  perfectly  understood  what  was  said, 
presented  the  sword  to  the  young  gentleman  from  whom 
he  had  taken  it — our  hero  did  the  same.  The  two  young 
men  returned  them  to  their  sheaths,  and  quitted  the  room 
without  saying  a  word. 

"  Whoever  you  are,  I  owe  to  you  and  thank  you  for  my 
life,"  said  the  elderly  gentleman,  scanning  the  outward 
appearance  of  our  two  midshipmen. 

"  We  are,"  repUed  Gascoigne,  "  officers  in  the  English 
navy,  and  gentlemen ;  we  were  wrecked  in  our  boat  last 
night,  and  have  wandered  here  in  the  dark,  seeking  for 
assistance,  and  food,  and  some  conveyance  to  Palermo, 
where  we  shall  find  friends,  and  the  means  of  appearing 
like  gentlemen." 

"Was  your  ship  wrecked,  gentlemen?"  inquired  the 
Sicilian,  "  and  many  lives  lost  ?  " 

"  No,  our  ship  is  at  Malta ;  we  were  in  a  boat  on  a 
party  of  pleasure,  were  caught  by  a  gale,  and  driven  on  the 
coast.  To  satisfy  you  of  the  truth,  observe  that  our 
pistols  have  the  king's  mark,  and  that  we  are  not  paupers 
we  show  you  gold." 

Gascoigne  pulled  out  his  doubloons — and  Jack  did  the 
same,  coolly  observing, — 

"  I  thought  we  were  only  to  show  silver,  Ned  !  " 

"It  needed  not  that,"  replied  the  gentleman;  "your 
conduct  in  this  affair,  your  manners  and  address,  fully 
convince  me  that  you  are  what  you  represent ;  but  were 
you  common  peasants,  I  am  equally  indebted  to  you  for 
my  life,  and  you  may  command  me.  Tell  me  in  what  way 
I  can  be  of  service." 


1 88  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"In  giving  us  something  to  eat,  for  we  have  had 
nothing  for  many,  many  hours.  After  that  we  may, 
perhaps,  trespass  a  little  more  upon  your  kind  offices." 

"  You  must,  of  course,  be  surprised  at  what  has 
passed,  and  curious  to  know  the  occasion,"  said  the 
gentleman ;  "  you  have  a  right  to  be  informed  of  it,  and 
shall  be,  as  soon  as  you  are  more  comfortable  j  in  the 
meantime,  allow  me  to  introduce  myself  as  Don  Rebiera 
de  Silva." 

"I  wish,"  said  Jack,  who,  from  his  knowledge  of 
Spanish,  could  understand  the  whole  of  the  last  part  of 
the  Don's  speech,  "  that  he  would  introduce  us  to  his 
breakfast." 

"  So  do  I,"  said  Gascoigne  j  "  but  we  must  wait  a 
little  —  he  ordered  the  ladies  to  prepare  something 
instantly." 

"  Your  friend  does  not  speak  Italian,"  said  Don  Rebiera. 

"  No,  Don  Rebiera,  he  speaks  French  and  Spanish." 

**  If  he  speaks  Spanish,  my  daughter  can  converse  with 
him  ;  she  has  but  shortly  arrived  from  Spain.  We  are 
closely  united  with  a  noble  house  in  that  country." 

Don  Rebiera  then  led  the  way  to  another  room,  and  in  a 
short  time  there  was  a  repast  brought  in,  to  which  our 
midshipmen  did  great  justice. 

**  I  will  now,"  said  the  Don,  "  relate  to  you,  sir,  for  the 
information  of  yourself  and  friend,  the  causes  which 
produced  this  scene  of  violence,  which  you  so  opportunely 
defeated.  But  first,  as  it  must  be  very  tedious  to  your 
friend,  I  will  send  for  Donna  Clara  and  my  daughter 
Agnes  to  talk  to  him  ;  my  wife  understands  a  little  Spanish, 
and  my  daughter,  as  I  said  before,  has  but  just  left  the  coun- 
try, where,  from  circumstances,  she  remained  some  years." 

As  soon  as  Donna  Clara  and  Donna  Agnes  made  their 
appearance  and  were  introduced,  Jack,  who  had  not  before 
paid  attention  to  them,  said  to  himself,  "  I  have  seen  a  face 
like  that  girl's  before."  If  so,  he  had  never  seen  many 
like  it,  for  it  was  the  quintessence  of  brunette  beauty,  and 
her  figure  was  equally  perfect  j  although,  not  having  yet 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  189 

completed  her  fifteenth  year,  it  required  still  a  little  more 
development. 

Donna  Clara  was  extremely  gracious,  and  as,  perhaps, 
she  was  aware  that  her  voice  would  drown  that  of  her 
husband,  she  proposed  to  our  hero  to  walk  in  the  garden, 
and  in  a  few  minutes  they  took  their  seats  in  a  pavilion  at 
the  end  of  it.  The  old  lady  did  not  talk  much  Spanish, 
but  when  at  a  loss  for  a  word,  she  put  in  an  Italian  one, 
and  Jack  understood  her  perfectly  well.  She  told  him  her 
sister  had  married  a  Spanish  nobleman  many  years  since, 
and  that  before  the  war  broke  out  between  the  Spanish 
and  the  English  they  had  gone  over  with  all  their  children 
to  see  her  ;  that  when  they  wished  to  return,  her  daughter 
Agnes,  then  a  child,  was  suffering  under  a  lingering  com- 
plaint, and  it  was  thought  advisable,  as  she  was  very  weak, 
to  leave  her  under  the  charge  of  her  aunt,  who  had  a  little 
girl  of  nearly  the  same  age  j  that  they  were  educated 
together  at  a  convent,  near  Tarragona,  and  that  she  had 
only  returned  two  months  ago ;  that  she  had  a  very  narrow 
escape,  as  the  ship  in  which  her  uncle,  and  aunt,  and 
cousins,  as  well  as  herself,  were  on  board,  returning  from 
Genoa,  where  her  brother-in-law  had  been  obliged  to  go  to 
secure  a  succession  to  some  property  bequeathed  to  him, 
had  been  captured  in  the  night  by  the  English ;  but  the 
officer,  who  was  very  polite,  had  allowed  them  to  go  away 
next  day,  and  very  handsomely  permitted  them  to  take  all 
their  effects. 

"  Oh,  oh,"  thought  Jack ;  "  I  thought  I  had  seen  her 
face  before  ;  this  then  was  one  of  the  girls  in  the  corner  of 
the  cabin — now  I'll  have  some  fun." 

During  the  conversation  with  the  mother,  Donna  Agnes 
had  remained  some  paces  behind,  picking  now  and  then  a 
flower,  and  not  attending  to  what  passed. 

When  our  hero  and  her  mother  sat  down  in  the  pavilion 
she  joined  then,  when  Jack  addressed  her  with  his  usual 
politeness. 

**  I  am  almost  ashamed  to  be  sitting  by  you.  Donna  Agnes, 
in  this  ragged  dress — but  the  rocks  of  your  coast  have  no 
respect  for  persons." 


190  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  We  are  under  great  obligations,  signor,  and  do  not 
regard  such  trifles." 

"  You  are  all  kindness,  signora,"  replied  Jack  ;  **  I  little 
thought  this  morning  of  my  good  fortune, — I  can  tell  the 
fortunes  of  others,  but  not  my  own." 

"  You  can  tell  fortunes  !  "  replied  the  old  lady. 

"  Yes,  madame,  I  am  famous  for  it — shall  I  tell  your 
daughter  hers  ? " 

Donna  Agnes  looked  at  our  hero,  and  smiled. 

"  I  perceive  that  the  young  lady  does  not  believe  me ;  I 
must  prove  my  art,  by  telling  her  of  what  has  already 
happened  to  her.     The  signora  will  then  give  me  credit." 

"  Certainly,  if  you  do  that,"  replied  Agnes. 

"  Oblige  me,  by  showing  me  the  palm  of  your  hand." 

Agnes  extended  her  little  hand,  and  Jack  felt  so  very 
polite,  that  he  was  nearly  kissing  it.  However,  he 
restrained  himself,  and  examining  the  lines — 

**  That  you  were  educated  in  Spain — that  you  arrived 
here  but  two  months  ago — that  you  were  captured  and 
released  by  the  English,  your  mother  has  already  told  me ; 
but  to  prove  to  you  that  I  knew  all  that,  I  must  now  be 
more  particular.  You  were  in  a  ship  mounting  fourteen 
guns — was  it  not  so  ?  " 

Donna  Agnes  nodded  her  head. 

"  I  never  told  the  signor  that,"  cried  Donna  Clara. 

"  She  was  taken  by  surprise  in  the  night,  and  there  was 
no  fighting.  The  next  morning  the  English  burst  open 
the  cabin  door  j  your  uncle  and  your  cousin  fired  their 
pistols." 

"  Holy  Virgin  !  "  cried  Agnes,  with  surprise. 

"The  English  officer  was  a  young  man,  not  very  good- 
looking." 

"  There  you  are  wrong,  signor — he  was  very  handsome." 

"  There  is  no  accounting  for  taste,  signora.  You  were 
frightened  out  of  your  wits,  and  with  your  cousin  you 
crouched  down  in  the  corner  of  the  cabin.  Let  me 
examine  that  little  line  closer.  You  had — yes,  it's  no  mis- 
take— you  had  very  little  clothes  on." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  191 

Agnes  tore  away  her  hand  and  covered  her  face. 

"  E  vero,  e  vero ;  Holy  Jesus  !  how  could  you  know 
that?" 

Of  a  sudden  Agnes  looked  at  our  hero,  and  after  a 
minute  appeared  to  recognise  him. 

"  Oh,  mother,  'tis  he — I  recollect  now,  'tis  he  !  " 

"  Who,  my  child  ? "  replied  Donna  Clara,  who  had  been 
struck  dumb  with  Jack's  astonishing  power  of  fortune- 
telling. 

"  The  officer  who  captured  us  and  was  so  kind." 

Jack  burst  out  into  a  laughter  not  to  be  controlled  for 
some  minutes,  and  then  acknowledged  that  she  had 
discovered  him. 

"  At  all  events.  Donna  Agnes,"  said  he  at  last,  "  acknow- 
ledge that,  ragged  as  I  am,  I  have  seen  you  in  a  much 
greater  dishabille." 

Agnes  sprang  up,  and  took  to  her  heels,  that  she  might 
hide  her  confusion,  and  at  the  same  time  go  to  her  father 
and  tell  him  who  he  had  as  his  guest. 

Although  Don  Rebiera  had  not  yet  finished  his  narrative, 
this  announcement  of  Agnes,  who  ran  in  breathless  to  com- 
municate it,  immediately  brought  all  the  parties  together, 
and  Jack  received  their  thanks. 

'•  I  little  thought,"  said  the  Don,  "  that  I  should  have 
been  so  doubly  indebted  to  you,  sir.  Command  my  ser- 
vices as  you  please,  both  of  you.  My  sons  are  at  Palermo, 
and  I  trust  you  will  allow  them  the  pleasure  of  your  friend- 
ship when  you  are  tired  of  remaining  with  us." 

Jack  made  his  politest  bow,  and  then  with  a  shrug  of  his 
shoulders  looked  down  upon  his  habiliments,  which,  to 
please  Gascoigne,  he  had  torn  into  ribands,  as  much  as  to 
say,  "We  are  not  provided  for  a  lengthened  stay." 

"  My  brothers'  clothes  will  fit  them,  I  think,"  said 
Agnes  to  her  father  ;  "  they  have  left  plenty  in  their  ward- 
robes." 

"If  the  signors  will  condescend  to  wear  them  till  they 
can  replace  their  own." 

Midshipmen  are   very  condescending.     They  followed 


192  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

Don  Rebiera,  and  condescended  to  put  on  clean  shirts 
belonging  to  Don  Philip  and  Don  Martin.  Also  to  put  on 
their  trousers,  to  select  their  best  waistcoats  and  coats  ;  in 
short,  they  condescended  to  have  a  regular  fit-out — and  it 
so  happened  that  the  fit-out  was  not  far  from  a  regular ^fif. 

Having  condescended,  they  then  descended,  and  the 
intimacy  between  all  parties  became  so  great  that  it  appeared 
as  if  they  not  only  wore  the  young  men's  clothes  but  also 
stood  in  their  shoes.  Having  thus  made  themselves 
presentable,  Jack  presented  his  hand  to  both  ladies  and  led 
them  into  the  garden,  that  Don  Rebiera  might  finish  his 
long  story  to  Gascoigne  without  further  interruption,  and 
resuming  their  seats  in  the  pavilion,  he  entertained  the  ladies 
with  a  history  of  his  cruise  in  the  ship  after  her  capture. 
Agnes  soon  recovered  from  her  reserve,  and  Jack  had 
the  forbearance  not  to  allude  again  to  the  scene  in  the  cabin, 
which  was  the  only  thing  she  dreaded.  After  dinner,  when 
the  family,  according  to  custom,  had  retired  for  the  siesta, 
Gascoigne  and  Jack,  who  had  slept  enough  in  the  cart  to 
last  for  a  week,  went  out  together  in  the  garden. 

"  Well,  Ned,"  said  Jack,  "  do  you  wish  yourself  on 
board  the  Harpy  again  ? " 

"No,"  replied  Gascoigne,  "we  have  fallen  on  our  feet 
at  last,  but  still  not  without  first  being  knocked  about  hke 
peas  in  a  rattle.  What  a  lovely  little  creature  that  Agnes 
is  !  How  strange  that  you  should  fall  In  with  her  again ! 
How  odd  that  we  should  come  here ! " 

"  My  good  fellow,  we  did  not  come  here.  Destiny 
brought  us  in  a  cart.  She  may  take  us  to  Tyburn  in  the 
same  way." 

"  Yes,  if  you  sport  your  philosophy  as  you  did  when  we 
awoke  this  morning." 

"  Nevertheless,  I'll  be  hanged  if  I'm  not  right.  Suppose 
we  argue  the  point  ? " 

"  Right  or  wrong,  you  will  be  hanged.  Jack  j  so  instead 
of  arguing  the  point,  suppose  I  tell  you  what  the  Don 
made  such  a  long  story  about." 

"With  all  my  heart — let  us  go  to  the  pavilion." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  193 

Our  hero  and  his  friend  took  their  seats,  and  Gascoigne 
then  communicated  the  history  of  Don  Rebiera,  to  which 
we  shall  dedicate  the  ensuing  chapter. 


Chapter  XX 

A  long  story,  which  the  reader  must  listen  to,  as  well  as  our  hero. 

"I  HAVE  already  made  you  acquainted  with  my  name,  and 
I  have  only  to  add  that  it  is  one  of  the  most  noble  in  Sicily, 
and  that  there  are  few  families  who  possess  such  large 
estates.  My  father  was  a  man  who  had  no  pleasure  in  the 
pursuits  of  most  of  the  young  men  of  his  age ;  he  was  of  a 
weakly  constitution,  and  was  with  difficulty  reared  to  man- 
hood. When  his  studies  were  completed  he  retired  to 
his  country  seat  belonging  to  our  family,  which  is  about 
twenty  miles  from  Palermo,  and  shutting  himself  up, 
devoted  himself  wholly  to  literary  pursuits. 

**  As  he  was  an  only  son,  his  parents  were  naturally 
very  anxious  that  he  should  marry  j  the  more  so  as  his 
health  did  not  promise  him  a  very  extended  existence. 
Had  he  consulted  his  own  inclinations  he  would  have 
declined,  but  he  felt  that  it  was  his  duty  to  comply  with 
their  wishes  j  but  he  did  not  trouble  himself  with  the 
choice,  leaving  it  wholly  to  them.  They  selected  a  young 
lady  of  high  family  and  certainly  of  most  exquisite  beauty. 
I  only  wish  I  could  say  more  in  her  favour — for  she  was 
my  mother — but  it  is  impossible  to  narrate  the  history 
without  exposing  her  conduct.  The  marriage  took  place, 
and  my  father — having  woke  up,  as  it  were,  at  the  cele- 
bration— again  returned  to  his  closet,  to  occupy  himself  in 
abstruse  studies — the  results  of  which  have  been  published, 
and  have  fully  established  his  reputation  as  a  man  of 
superior  talent  and  deep  research.  But,  however  much 
the  public  may  appreciate  the  works  of  a  man  of  genius, 
whether  they  be  written  to  instruct  or  to  amuse,  certain  it 
is  that  a  literary  man  requires  in  his  wife  either  a  mind 

E  N 


194  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

congenial  to  his  own,  or  that  pride  in  her  husband's  talents 
which  induces  her  to  sacrifice  much  of  her  own  domestic 
enjoyment  to  the  satisfaction  of  having  his  name  extolled 
abroad.  I  mention  this  point  as  some  extenuation  of  my 
mother's  conduct.  She  was  neglected  most  certainly,  but 
not  neglected  for  frivolous  amusements,  or  because  another 
form  had  captivated  his  fancy  ;  but  in  his  desire  to  instruct 
others,  and  I  may  add  his  ambition  for  renown,  he  applied 
himself  to  his  literary  pursuits,  became  abstracted,  an- 
swered without  hearing,  and  left  his  wife  to  amuse  herself 
in  any  way  she  might  please.  A  literary  husband  is, 
without  exception — although  always  at  home — the  least 
domestic  husband  in  the  world,  and  must  try  the  best 
of  tempers — not  by  unkindness,  for  my  father  was  kind 
and  indulgent  to  excess,  but  by  that  state  of  perfect 
abstraction  and  indifference  which  he  showed  to  everything 
except  the  favourite  pursuit  which  absorbed  him.  My 
mother  had  but  to  speak,  and  every  wish  was  granted — 
a  refusal  was  unknown.  You  may  say,  what  could  she 
want  more  ?  I  reply,  that  anything  to  a  woman  is  pre- 
ferable to  indifference.  The  immediate  consent  to  every 
wish  took  away,  in  her  opinion,  all  merit  in  the  grant — the 
value  of  everything  is  only  relative,  and  in  proportion  to 
the  difficulty  of  obtaining  it.  The  immediate  assent  to 
every  opinion  was  tantamount  to  insult — it  implied  that  he 
did  not  choose  to  argue  with  her. 

"It  is  true  that  women  like  to  have  their  own  way — 
but  they  like  at  the  same  time  to  have  difficulties  to 
■surmount  and  to  conquer  j  otherwise  half  the  gratification 
is  lost.  Although  tempests  are  to  be  deplored,  still  a 
certain  degree  of  oscillation  and  motion  are  requisite  to 
keep  fresh  and  clear  the  lake  of  matrimony,  the  waters 
of  which  otherwise  soon  stagnate  and  become  foul,  and 
without  some  contrary  currents  of  opinion  between  a 
married  couple  such  a  stagnation  must  take  place. 

"  A  woman  permitted  always  and  invariably  to  have  her 
own  way  without  control  is  much  in  the  same  situation  as 
the   child  who  insists  upon  a  whole   instead   of  half  a 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  195 

holiday,  and  before  the  evening  closes  is  tired  of  himself 
and  everything  about  him.  In  short,  a  little  contradiction, 
like  salt  at  dinner,  seasons  and  appetises  the  repast ;  but 
too  much,  like  the  condiment  in  question,  spoils  the  whole, 
and  it  becomes  unpalatable  in  proportion  to  its  excess. 

"  My  mother  was  a  vain  woman  in  every  sense  of  the 
word — vain  of  her  birth  and  of  her  beauty,  and  accustomed 
to  receive  that  homage  to  which  she  considered  herself 
entitled.  She  had  been  spoiled  in  her  infancy,  and  as  she 
grew  up  had  learnt  nothing,  because  she  was  permitted  to 
do  as  she  pleased  ;  she  was  therefore  frivolous,  and  could 
not  appreciate  what  she  could  not  comprehend.  There 
never  was  a  more  ill-assorted  union." 

"  I  have  always  thought  that  such  must  be  the  case," 
replied  Gascoigne,  "  in  Catholic  countries,  where  a  young 
person  is  taken  out  of  a  convent  and  mated  according  to 
what  her  family  or  her  wealth  may  consider  as  the  most 
eligible  connection." 

"  On  that  subject  there  are  many  opinions,  my  friend," 
replied  Don  Rebiera.  **  It  is  true,  that  when  a  marriage 
of  convenience  is  arranged  by  the  parents,  the  dispositions 
of  the  parties  are  made  a  secondary  point ;  but  then,  again, 
it  must  be  remembered,  that  when  a  choice  is  left  to  the 
parties  themselves,  it  is  at  an  age  at  which  there  is  little 
worldly  consideration  :  and,  led  away,  in  the  first  place,  by 
their  passions,  they  form  connections  with  those  inferior  in 
their  station  which  are  attended  with  eventual  unhappiness ; 
or,  in  the  other,  allowing  that  they  do  choose  in  their  own 
rank  of  life,  they  make  quite  as  bad  or  often  a  worse  choice 
than  if  their  partners  were  selected  for  them." 

"  I  cannot  understand  that,"  replied  Gascoigne. 

'*  The  reason  is,  because  there  are  no  means,  or,  if 
means,  no  wish,  to  study  each  other's  disposition.  A 
young  man  is  attracted  by  person,  and  he  admires ;  the 
young  woman  is  flattered  by  the  admiration,  and  is  agree- 
able ;  if  she  has  any  faults  she  is  not  likely  to  display 
them — not  concealing  them  from  hypocrisy,  but  because 
they  are  not  called  out.     The  young  man  falls  in  love,  so 


196  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

does  the  young  woman :  and  when  once  in  love,  they  can 
no  longer  see  faults  ;  they  marry,  imagining  that  they  have 
found  perfection.  In  the  blindness  of  love  each  raises  the 
other  to  a  standard  of  perfection  which  human  nature  can 
never  attain,  and  each  becomes  equally  annoyed  on  finding, 
by  degrees,  that  they  were  in  error.  The  re-action  takes 
place,  and  they  then  under-rate,  as  much  as  before  they 
had  over-rated,  each  other.  Now,  if  two  young  people 
marry  without  this  violence  of  passion,  they  do  not  expect 
to  find  each  other  perfect,  and  perhaps  have  a  better 
chance  of  happiness." 

"  I  don't  agree  with  you,"  thought  Gascoigne  ;  "  but  as 
you  appear  to  be  as  fond  of  argument  as  my  friend  Jack, 
I  shall  make  no  reply,  lest  there  be  no  end  to  the  story." 

Don  Rebiera  proceeded. 

"My  mother,  finding  that  my  father  preferred  his 
closet  and  his  books  to  gaiety  and  dissipation,  soon  left 
him  to  himself,  and  amused  herself  after  her  own  fashion, 
but  not  until  I  was  born,  which  was  ten  months  after  their 
marriage.  My  father  was  confiding,  and,  pleased  that  my 
mother  should  be  amused,  he  indulged  her  in  everything. 
Time  flew  on,  and  I  had  arrived  at  my  fifteenth  year,  and 
came  home  from  my  studies,  it  being  intended  that  I 
should  enter  the  army,  which  you  are  aware  is  generally 
the  only  profession  embraced  in  this  country  by  the  heirs 
of  noble  families.  Of  course,  I  knew  little  of  what  had 
passed  at  home,  but  still  I  had  occasionally  heard  my 
mother  spoken  lightly  of,  when  I  was  not  supposed  to  be 
present,  and  I  always  heard  my  father's  name  mentioned 
with  compassion,  as  if  an  ill-used  man,  but  I  knew  nothing 
more :  still  this  was  quite  sufficient  for  a  young  man, 
whose  blood  boiled  at  the  idea  of  anything  like  a  stigma 
being  cast  upon  his  family.  I  arrived  at  my  father's — I 
found  him  at  his  books ;  I  paid  my  respects  to  my  mother, 
— I  found  her  with  her  confessor.  I  disliked  the  man  at 
first  sight ;  he  was  handsome,  certainly  :  his  forehead  was 
high  and  white,  his  eyes  large  and  fiery,  and  his  figure 
commanding ;    but   there   was   a  dangerous,   proud  look 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  197 

about  him  which  disgusted  me, — nothing  like  humility  or 
devotion.  I  might  have  admired  him  as  an  officer  com- 
manding a  regiment  of  cavalry,  but  as  a  churchman  he 
appeared  to  be  most  misplaced.  She  named  me  with 
kindness,  but  he  appeared  to  treat  me  with  disdain  ;  he 
spoke  authoritatively  to  my  mother,  who  appeared  to  yield 
implicitly,  and  I  discovered  that  he  was  lord  of  the  whole 
household.  My  mother,  too,  it  was  said,  had  given  up 
gaieties  and  become  devout.  I  soon  perceived  more  than 
a  common  intelligence  between  them,  and  before  I  had 
been  two  months  at  home  I  had  certain  proofs  of  my 
father's  dishonour ;  and,  what  was  still  more  unfortunate 
for  me,  they  were  aware  that  such  was  the  case.  My 
first  impulse  was  to  acquaint  my  father ;  but,  on  consider- 
ation, I  thought  it  better  to  say  nothing,  provided  I  could 
persuade  my  mother  to  dismiss  Father  Ignatio.  I  took 
an  opportunity  when  she  was  alone  to  express  my  indig- 
nation at  her  conduct,  and  to  demand  his  immediate 
dismissal,  as  a  condition  of  my  not  divulging  her  crime. 
She  appeared  frightened,  and  gave  her  consent ;  but  I 
soon  found  that  her  confessor  had  more  power  with  her 
than  I  had,  and  he  remained.  I  now  resolved  to  acquaint 
my  father,  and  I  roused  him  from  his  studies  that  he 
might  listen  to  his  shame.  I  imagined  that  he  would 
have  acted  calmly  and  discreetly  j  but,  on  the  contrary, 
his  violence  was  without  bounds,  and  I  had  the  greatest 
difficulty  from  preventing  his  rushing  with  his  sword 
to  sacrifice  them  both.  At  last  he  contented  himself  by 
turning  Father  Ignatio  out  of  the  house  in  the  most 
ignominious  manner,  and  desiring  my  mother  to  pre- 
pare for  seclusion  in  a  convent  for  the  remainder  of  her 
days. — But  he  fell  their  victim ;  three  days  afterwards,  as 
my  mother  was,  by  his  directions,  about  to  be  removed, 
he  was  seized  with  convulsions,  and  died.  I  need  hardly 
say  that  he  was  carried  off  by  poison;  this,  however, 
could  not  be  established  till  long  afterwards.  Before  he 
died  he  seemed  to  be  almost  supernaturally  prepared  for 
an  event  which  never  came  into  my  thoughts.    He  sent  for 


198  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

another  confessor,  who  drew  up  his  confession  in  writing 
at  his  own  request,  and  afterwards  inserted  it  in  his  will. 
My  mother  remained  in  the  house,  and  Father  Ignatio  had 
the  insolence  to  return.  I  ordered  him  away,  and  he  re-, 
sisted.  He  was  turned  out  by  the  servants.  I  had  an 
interview  with  my  mother,  who  defied  me,  and  told  me 
that  I  should  soon  have  a  brother  to  share  in  the  succession. 
I  felt  that,  if  so,  it  would  be  the  illegitimate  progeny  of 
her  adultery,  and  told  her  my  opinion.  She  expressed  her 
rage  in  the  bitterest  curses,  and  I  left  her.  Shortly  after- 
wards she  quitted  the  house  and  retired  to  another  of  our 
country  seats,  where  she  lived  with  Father  Ignatio  as 
before.  About  four  months  afterwards,  formal  notice  was 
sent  to  me  of  the  birth  of  a  brother  ;  but  as  when  my 
father's  will  was  opened,  he  there  had  inserted  his  con- 
fession, or  the  substance  of  it,  in  which  he  stated,  that 
aware  of  my  mother's  guilt,  and  supposing  that  conse- 
quences might  ensue,  he  solemnly  declared  before  God 
that  he  had  for  years  lived  apart,  I  cared  little  for  this 
communication.  I  contented  myself  with  replying  that  as 
the  child  belonged  to  the  church,  it  had  better  be  dedicated 
to  its  service. 

"  I  had,  however,  soon  reason  to  acknowledge  the 
vengeance  of  my  mother  and  her  paramour.  One  night  I 
was  attacked  by  bravos  ;  and  had  I  not  fortunately  received 
assistance,  I  should  have  forfeited  my  life ;  as  it  was,  I 
received  a  severe  wound. 

"  Against  attempts  of  that  kind  I  took  every  precaution 
in  future,  but  still  every  attempt  was  made  to  ruin  my 
character,  as  well  as  to  take  my  life.  A  young  sister 
disappeared  from  a  convent  in  my  neighbourhood,  and  on 
the  ground  near  the  window  from  which  she  descended 
was  found  a  hat,  recognised  to  be  mine.  I  was  proceeded 
against,  and  notwithstanding  the  strongest  interest,  it  was 
with  difficulty  that  the  affair  was  arranged,  although  I  had 
incontestably  proved  an  alibi. 

"  A  young  man  of  rank  was  found  murdered, 
with  a  stiletto,  known  to  be  mine,  buried  in  his  bosom, 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  199 

and  it  was  with  difficuky  that  I  could  establish  my  inno- 
cence. 

"Part  of  a  banditti  had  been  seized,  and  on  being  asked 
the  name  of  their  chief,  when  they  received  absolution, 
they  confessed  that  I  was  the  chief  of  the  band. 

"  Everything  that  could  be  attempted  was  put  into 
practice ;  and  if  I  did  not  lose  my  life,  at  all  events  I  was 
avoided  by  almost  everybody  as  a  dangerous  and  doubtful 
character. 

"  At  last  a  nobleman  of  rank,  the  father  of  Don  Scipio, 
whom  you  disarmed,  was  assassinated ;  the  bravos  were 
taken,  and  they  acknowledged  that  I  was  the  person  who 
hired  them.  I  defended  myself,  but  the  king  imposed 
upon  me  a  heavy  fine  and  banishment.  I  had  just  received 
the  order,  and  was  crying  out  against  the  injustice,  and 
lamenting  my  hard  fate,  as  I  sat  down  to  dinner.  Latterly, 
aware  of  what  my  enemies  would  attempt,  I  had  been 
accustomed  to  live  much  alone.  My  faithful  valet  Pedro 
was  my  only  attendant.  I  was  eating  my  dinner  with 
little  appetite,  and  had  asked  for  some  wine.  Pedro  went 
to  the  buffet  behind  him  to  give  me  what  I  required. 
Accidentally  I  lifted  up  my  head,  and  there  being  a  large 
pier-class  opposite  to  me,  I  saw  the  figure  of  my  valet, 
and  that  he  was  pouring  a  powder  in  the  flagon  of  wine 
which  he  was  about  to  present  to  me.  I  recollected  the 
hat  being  found  at  the  nunnery,  and  also  the  stiletto 
in  the  body  of  the  young  man. 

**  Like  lightning  it  occurred  to  me,  that  I  had  been 
fostering  the  viper  who  had  assisted  to  destroy  me.  He 
brought  me  the  flagon.  I  rose,  locked  the  door,  and 
drawing  my  sword,  I  addressed  him — 

** '  Villain  !  I  know  thee ;  down  on  your  knees,  for 
your  life  is  forfeited.' 

*'  He  turned  pale,  trembled,  and  sank  upon  his  knees. 

" '  Now,  then,'  continued  I,  *  you  have  but  one  chance 
— either  drink  off  this  flagon  of  wine,  or  I  pass  my  sword 
through  your  body. — He  hesitated,  and  I  put  the  point 
to  his  breast, — even  pierced  the  flesh  a  quarter  of  an  inch. 


200  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  '  Drink,'  cried  I — '  is  it  so  very  unjust  an  order  to  tell 
you  to  drink  old  wine  ?  Drink,'  continued  I,  '  or  my 
sword  does  its  duty.' 

"  He  drank,  and  would  then  have  quitted  the  room. 
*  No,  no,'  said  I,  *  you  remain  here,  and  the  wine  must 
have  its  effect.  If  I  have  wronged  you  I  will  make 
amends  to  you — but  I  am  suspicious.' 

"In  about  a  quarter  of  an  hour,  during  which  time  I 
paced  up  and  down  the  room,  with  my  sword  drawn, 
my  servant  fell  down,  and  cried  in  mercy  to  let  him  have 
a  priest.  I  sent  for  my  own  confessor,  and  he  then 
acknowledged  that  he  was  an  agent  of  my  mother  and 
Father  Ignatio,  and  had  been  the  means  of  making  it 
appear  that  I  was  the  committer  of  all  the  crimes  and 
murders  which  had  been  perpetrated  by  them,  with  a 
view  to  my  destruction.  A  strong  emetic  having  been 
administered  to  him,  he  partially  revived,  and  was  taken 
to  Palermo,  where  he  gave  his  evidence  before  he 
expired. 

"When  this  was  made  known,  the  king  revoked  his 
sentence,  apologised  to  me,  and  I  found  that  once  more 
I  was  visited  and  courted  by  everybody.  My  mother  was 
ordered  to  be  shut  up  in  a  convent,  where  she  died,  I 
trust,  in  grace ;  and  Father  Ignatio  fled  to  Italy,  and  I 
have  been  informed  is  since  dead. 

"  Having  thus  rid  myself  of  my  principal  enemies,  I 
considered  myself  safe.  I  married  the  lady  whom  you 
have  just  seen,  and  before  my  eldest  son  was  born,  Don 
Silvio,  for  such  was  the  name  given  to  my  asserted 
legitimate  brother,  came  of  age,  and  demanded  his  succes- 
sion. Had  he  asked  me  for  a  proper  support,  as  my 
uterine  brother,  I  should  not  have  refused  ;  but  that  the 
son  of  Friar  Ignatio,  who  had  so  often  attempted  my  life, 
should,  in  case  of  my  decease,  succeed  to  the  title  and 
estates,  was  not  to  be  borne.  A  lawsuit  was  immediately 
commenced,  which  lasted  four  or  five  years,  during  which 
Don  Silvio  married,  and  had  a  son,  that  young  man  whom 
you  heard  me  address  by  the  same  name  j  but  after  much 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  201 

litigation,  it  was  decided  that  my  father's  confessor  and 
will  had  proved  his  illegitimacy,  and  the  suit  was  in  my 
favour.  From  that  time  to  this,  there  has  been  a  constant 
enmity.  Don  Silvio  refused  all  my  offers  of  assistance, 
and  followed  me  with  a  pertinacity  which  often  en- 
dangered my  life.  At  last  he  fell  by  the  hands  of  his 
own  agents,  who  mistook  him  for  me.  Don  Silvio  died 
without  leaving  any  provision  for  his  family ;  his  widow  I 
pensioned,  and  his  son  I  have  had  carefully  brought  up, 
and  have  indeed  treated  most  liberally,  but  he  appears 
to  have  imbibed  the  spirit  of  his  father,  and  no  kindness 
has  been  able  to  embue  him  with  gratitude. 

"  He  had  lately  been  placed  by  me  in  the  army,  where 
he  found  out  my  two  sons,  and  quarrelled  with  them 
both  upon  slight  pretence  ;  but,  in  both  instances,  he  was 
wounded  and  carried  off  the  field. 

"  My  two  sons  have  been  staying  with  me  these  last 
two  months,  and  did  not  leave  till  yesterday.  This 
morning  Don  Silvio,  accompanied  by  Don  Scipio,  came 
to  the  house,  and  after  accusing  me  of  being  the  murderer 
of  both  their  parents,  drew  their  rapiers  to  assassinate 
me.  My  .wife  and  child,  hearing  the  noise,  came  down 
to  my  assistance — you  know  the  rest." 


Chapter  XXI 

In  which  our  hero  is  brought  up  all  standing  under  a  press  of  sail. 

Our  limits  will  not  permit  us  to  relate  all  that  passed 
during  our  hero's  stay  of  a  fortnight  at  Don  Rebiera's. 
He  and  Gascoigne  were  treated  as  if  they  were  his  own 
sons,  and  the  kindness  of  the  female  part  of  the  family 
was  equally  remarkable.  Agnes,  naturally  perhaps, 
showed  a  preference  or  partiality  for  Jack  :  to  which 
Gascoigne  willingly  submitted,  as  he  felt  that  our  hero 
had  a  prior  and  stronger  claim,  and  during  the  time  that 
they  remained  a  feeling  of  attachment  was  created  between 


202  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

Agnes  and  the  philosopher,  which,  if  not  love,  was  at 
least  something  very  near  akin  to  it ;  but  the  fact  was, 
that  they  were  both  much  too  young  to  think  of  marriage  ; 
and,  although  they  walked  and  talked,  and  laughed,  and 
played  together,  they  were  always  at  home  in  time  for 
their  dinner.  Still,  the  young  lady  thought  she  preferred 
our  hero,  even  to  her  brothers,  and  Jack  thought  that  the 
young  lady  was  the  prettiest  and  kindest  girl  that  he 
had  ever  met  with.  At  the  end  of  the  fortnight,  our  two 
midshipmen  took  their  leave,  furnished  with  letters  of 
recommendation  to  many  of  the  first  nobility  in  Palermo, 
and  mounted  on  two  fine  mules  with  bell  bridles.  The 
old  Donna  kissed  them  both — the  Don  showered  down 
his  blessings  of  good  wishes,  and  Donna  Agnes'  lips 
trembled  as  she  bade  them  adieu  j  and,  as  soon  as  they 
were  gone,  she  went  up  to  her  chamber  and  wept. 
Jack  also  was  very  grave,  and  his  eyes  moistened  at  the 
thoughts  of  leaving  Agnes.  Neither  of  them  were  aware, 
until  the  hour  of  parting,  how  much  they  had  wound 
themselves  together. 

The  first  quarter  of  an  hour  our  two  midshipmen 
followed  their  guide  in  silence.  Jack  wished  to  be  left 
to  his  own  thoughts,  and  Gascoigne  perceived  it. 

"Well,  Easy,"  said  Gascoigne,  at  last,  "if  I  had  been 
in  your  place,  constantly  in  company  of,  and  loved  by,  that 
charming  girl,  I  could  never  have  torn  myself  away." 

"  Loved  by  her,  Ned  !  "  replied  Jack,  "  what  makes  you 
say  that  ? " 

"  Because  I  am  sure  it  was  the  case  ;  she  lived  but  in 
your  presence.  Why,  if  you  were  out  of  the  room,  she 
never  spoke  a  word,  but  sat  there  as  melancholy  as  a  sick 
monkey — the  moment  you  came  in  again,  she  beamed  out 
as  glorious  as  the  sun,  and  was  all  life  and  spirit." 

"  I  thought  people  were  always  melancholy  when  they 
were  in  love,"  replied  Jack. 

"When  those  that  they  love  are  out  of  their 
presence." 

"  Well,  then,  I  am  out  of  her  presence,  and  I  feel  very 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  203 

melancholy,  so  I  suppose,  by  your  argument,  I  am  in  love. 
Can  a  man  be  in  love  without  knowing  it  ? " 

"  I  really  cannot  say.  Jack ;  I  never  was  in  love  myself, 
but  I've  seen  many  others  spoony.  My  time  will  come, 
I  suppose,  by-and-bye.  They  say,  that  for  every  man 
made,  there  is  a  woman  also  made  to  fit  him,  if  he  could 
only  find  her.  Now,  it's  my  opinion  that  you  have  found 
yours — I'll  lay  my  life  she's  crying  at  this  moment." 

"Do  you  really  think  so,  Ned?  let's  go  back — ^poor 
little  Agnes — let's  go  back ;  I  feel  I  do  love  her,  and  I'll 
tell  her  so." 

"  Pooh,  nonsense  !  it's  too  late  now ;  you  should  have 
told  her  that  before,  when  you  walked  with  her  in  the 
garden." 

"  But  I  did  not  know  it,  Ned.  However,  as  you  say, 
it  would  be  foolish  to  turn  back,  so  I'll  write  to  her  from 
Palermo." 

Here  an  argument  ensued  upon  love,  which  we  shall 
not  trouble  the  reader  with,  as  it  was  not  very  profound, 
both  sides  knowing  very  little  on  the  subject.  It  did, 
however,  end  with  our  hero  being  convinced  that  he  was 
desperately  in  love,  and  he  talked  about  giving  up  the 
service  as  soon  as  he  arrived  at  Malta.  It  is  astonishing 
what  sacrifices  midshipmen  will  make  for  the  objects  of 
their  adoration. 

It  was  not  until  late  in  the  evening  that  our  adventurers 
arrived  at  Palermo.  As  soon  as  they  were  lodged  at  the 
hotel,  Gascoigne  sat  down  and  wrote  a  letter  in  their  joint 
names  to  Don  Rebiera,  returning  him  many  thanks  for  his 
great  kindness,  informing  him  of  their  safe  arrival,  and 
trusting  that  they  should  soon  meet  again :  and  Jack  took 
up  his  pen,  and  indited  a  letter  in  Spanish  to  Agnes,  in 
which  he  swore  that  neither  tide  nor  time,  nor  water,  nor 
air,  nor  heaven,  nor  earth,  nor  the  first  lieutenant,  nor  his 
father,  nor  absence,  nor  death  itself,  should  prevent  him 
from  coming  back  and  marrying  her,  the  first  convenient 
opportunity,  begging  her  to  refuse  a  thousand  offers,  as 
come  back  he  would,  although  there  was  no  saying  when. 


204  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

It  was  a  perfect  love  letter,  that  is  to  say.  it  was  the 
essence  of  nonsense ;  but  that  made  it  perfect,  for  the 
greater  the  love  the  greater  the  folly. 

These  letters  were  consigned  to  the  man  who  was  sent 
as  their  guide,  and  also  had  to  return  with  the  mules.  He 
was  liberally  rewarded  ;  and,  as  Jack  told  him  to  be  very 
careful  of  his  letter,  the  Italian  naturally  concluded  that  it 
was  to  be  delivered  clandestinely,  and  he  delivered  it 
accordingly,  at  a  time  when  Agnes  was  walking  in  the 
garden  thinking  of  our  hero.  Nothing  was  more  oppor- 
tune than  the  arrival  of  the  letter ;  Agnes  ran  to  the 
pavilion,  read  it  over  twenty  times,  kissed  it  twenty  times, 
and  hid  it  in  her  bosom  ;  sat  for  a  few  minutes  in  deep 
and  placid  thought,  took  the  letter  out  of  its  receptacle, 
and  read  it  over  and  over  again.  It  was  very  bad  Spanish, 
and  very  absurd,  but  she  thought  it  delightful,  poetical, 
classical,  sentimental,  argumentative,  convincing,  incon- 
trovertible, imaginative  and  even  grammatical ;  for  if  it 
was  not  good  Spanish,  there  was  no  Spanish  half  so  good. 
Alas  !  Agnes  was  indeed  unsophisticated,  to  be  in  such 
ecstacies  with  a  midshipman's  love  letter.  Once  more  she 
hastened  to  her  room  to  weep,  but  it  was  from  excess 
of  joy  and  delight.  The  reader  may  think  Agnes  silly, 
but  he  must  take  into  consideration  the  climate,  and  that 
she  was  not  yet  fifteen. 

Our  young  gentlemen  sent  for  a  tailor,  and  each  ordered 
a  new  suit  of  clothes ;  they  delivered  their  letters  of 
recommendation,  and  went  to  the  banker  to  whom  they 
were  addressed  by  Don  Rebiera. 

*'I  shall  draw  for  ten  pounds,  Jack,"  said  Gascoigne, 
"  on  the  strength  of  the  shipwreck  ;  I  shall  tell  the  truth, 
all  except  that  we  forgot  to  ask  for  leave,  which  I  shall 
leave  out ;  and  I  am  sure  the  story  will  be  worth  ten 
pounds.     What  shall  you  draw  for.  Jack  ?  " 

"  I  shall  draw  for  two  hundred  pounds,"  replied  Jack  ; 
*'  I  mean  to  have  a  good  cruise  while  I  can." 

"  But  will  your  governor  stand  that.  Easy  ?  " 

"  To  be  sure  he  will." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  205 

"  Then  you're  right — he  is  a  philosopher — I  wish  he'd 
teach  mine,  for  he  hates  the  sight  of  a  bill." 

**  Then  don't  you  draw,  Ned — I  have  plenty  for  both. 
If  every  man  had  his  equal  share  and  rights  in  the  world, 
you  would  be  as  able  to  draw  as  much  as  I ;  and  as  you 
cannot,  upon  the  principles  of  equality  you  shall  have 
half." 

"  I  really  shall  become  a  convert  to  your  philosophy, 
Jack  ;  it  does  not  appear  to  be  so  nonsensical  as  I  thought 
it.  At  all  events,  it  has  saved  my  old  governor  ten  pounds, 
which  he  can  ill  afford,  as  a  colonel  on  half-pay." 

On  their  return  to  the  inn,  they  found  Don  Philip  and 
Don  Martin,  to  whom  Don  Rebiera  had  written,  who 
welcomed  them  with  open  arms.  They  were  two  very 
fine  young  men  of  eighteen  and  nineteen,  who  were 
finishing  their  education  in  the  army.  Jack  asked  them 
to  dinner,  and  they  and  our  hero  soon  became  inseparable. 
They  took  him  to  all  the  theatres,  the  conversaziones  of 
all  the  nobility,  and  as  Jack  lost  his  money  with  good 
humour,  and  was  a  very  handsome  fellow,  he  was  every- 
where well  received  and  was  made  much  of :  many  ladies 
made  love  to  him,  but  Jack  was  only  very  polite,  because 
he  thought  more  and  more  of  Agnes  every  day.  Three 
weeks  passed  away  like  lightning,  and  neither  Jack  nor 
Gascoigne  thought  of  going  back.  At  last,  one  fine  day 
H.M.  frigate  Aurora  anchored  in  the  bay,  and  Jack  and 
Gascoigne,  who  were  at  a  party  at  the  Duke  of  Pentaro's, 
met  with  the  captain  of  the  Aurora,  who  was  also  invited. 
The  Duchess  introduced  them  to  Captain  Tartar,  who 
imagining  them,  from  their  being  in  plain  clothes,  to  be 
young  Englishmen  of  fortune  on  their  travels,  was  very 
gracious  and  condescending.  Jack  was  so  pleased  with  his 
urbanity  that  he  requested  the  pleasure  of  his  company  to 
dinner  the  next  day :  Captain  Tartar  accepted  the  invita- 
tion, and  they  parted  shaking  hands,  with  many  expressions 
of  pleasure  in  having  made  his  acquaintance.  Jack's  party 
was  rather  large,  and  the  dinner  sumptuous.  The  Sicilian 
gentlemen  did  not  drink  much  wine  :  but  Captain  Tartar 


2o6  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

liked  his  bottle,  and  although  the  rest  of  the  company 
quitted  the  table  to  go  to  a  ball  given  that  evening  by  the 
Marquesa  No  vara.  Jack  was  too  polite  not  to  sit  it  out 
with  the  captain :  Gascoigne  closed  his  chair  to  Jack's, 
who,  he  was  afraid,  being  a  little  affected  with  the  wine, 
would  **  let  the  cat  out  of  the  bag." 

The  captain  was  amazingly  entertaining.  Jack  told  him 
how  happy  he  should  be  to  see  him  at  Forest  Hill,  which 
property  the  captain  discovered  to  contain  six  thousand 
acres  of  land,  and  also  that  Jack  was  an  only  son ;  and 
Captain  Tartar  was  quite  respectful  when  he  found  that  he 
was  in  such  very  excellent  company.  The  captain  of  the 
frigate  inquired  of  Jack  what  brought  him  out  here,  and 
Jack,  whose  prudence  was  departing,  told  him  that  he 
came  in  his  Majesty's  ship  Harpy.  Gascoigne  gave  Jack  a 
nudge,  but  it  was  of  no  use,  for  as  the  wine  got  into 
Jack's  brain,  so  did  his  notions  of  equality. 

"  Oh !  Wilson  gave  you  a  passage ;  he's  an  old  friend 
of  mine." 

"  So  he  is  of  ours,"  replied  Jack  j  "  he's  a  devilish 
good  sort  of  a  fellow,  Wilson." 

"  But  where  have  you  been  since  you  came  out  ? " 
inquired  Captain  Tartar. 

"  In  the  Harpy"  replied  Jack  ;  "  to  be  sure,  I  belong  to 
her." 

'*  You  belong  to  her  !  in  what  capacity,  may  I  ask  ? " 
inquired  Captain  Tartar  in  a  much  less  respectful  and 
confidential  tone. 

"  Midshipman,"  replied  Jack  ;  "  so  is  Mr  Gascoigne." 

"  Umph  !  you  are  on  leave  then  ?  " 

"  No,  indeed,"  replied  Jack  j  "  I'll  tell  you  how  it  is,  my 
dear  fellow." 

"  Excuse  me  for  one  moment,"  replied  Captain  Tartar, 
rising  up;  "I  must  give  some  directions  to  my  servant 
which  I  forgot." 

Captain  Tartar  hailed  his  coxswain  out  of  the  window, 
gave  orders  just  outside  of  the  door,  and  then  returned 
to  the  table.     In  the  meantime,  Gascoigne,  who  expected 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  207 

a  breeze,  had  been  cautioning  Jack,  in  a  low  tone,  at 
intervals,  when  Captain  Tartar's  back  was  turned :  but 
it  was  useless ;  the  extra  quantity  of  wine  had  got  into 
Jack's  head,  and  he  cared  nothing  for  Gascoigne's  re- 
monstrance. When  the  captain  resumed  his  seat  at  the 
table.  Jack  gave  him  the  true  narrative  of  all  that  had 
passed,  to  which  his  guest  paid  the  greatest  attention. 
Jack  wound  up  his  confidence  by  saying,  that  in  a  week 
or  so  he  should  go  back  to  Don  Rebiera  and  propose 
for  Donna  Agnes. 

"  Ah !  "  exclaimed  Captain  Tartar,  drawing  his  breath 
with  astonishment,  and  compressing  his  lip. 

**  Tartar,  the  wine  stands  with  you,"  said  Jack,  *'  allow 
me  to  help  you." 

Captain  Tartar  threw  himself  back  in  his  chair,  and  let 
all  the  air  out  of  his  chest  with  a  sort  of  whistle,  as  if  he 
could  hardly  contain  himself. 

"  Have  you  had  wine  enough  ? "  said  Jack,  very  politely ; 
*'  if  so,  we  will  go  to  the  Marquesa's." 

The  coxswain  came  to  the  door,  touched  his  hat  to  the 
captain,  and  looked  significantly. 

"  And  so,  sir,"  cried  Captain  Tartar,  in  a  voice  of 
thunder,  rising  from  his  chair,  **  you're  a  d — d  runaway 
midshipman,  who,  if  you  belonged  to  my  ship,  instead 
of  marrying  Donna  Agnes,  I  would  marry  you  to  the 
gunner's  daughter,  by  G — d ;  two  midshipmen  sporting 
plain  clothes  in  the  best  society  in  Palermo,  and  having 
the  impudence  to  ask  a  post-captain  to  dine  with  them ! 
To  ask  me  and  address  me  as  •  Tartar^  and  *  my  dear 
fellow  I '  you  infernal  young  scamps  ! "  continued  Captain 
Tartar,  now  boiling  with  rage,  and  striking  his  fist  on 
the  table  so  as  to  set  all  the  glasses  waltzing. 

"  Allow  me  to  observe,  sir,"  said  Jack,  who  was 
completely  sobered  by  the  address,  "  that  we  do  not 
belong  to  your  ship,  and  that  we  are  in  plain  clothes." 

•'  In  plain  clothes — midshipmen  in  mufti — yes,  you  are 
so :  a  couple  of  young  swindlers,  without  a  sixpence  in 
your  pocket,  passing   yourselves   off  as   young  men   of 


2o8  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

fortune,  and  walking   off  through   the  window  without 
paying  your  bill." 

"Do  you  mean  to  call  me  a  swindler,  sir,"  replied  Jack. 

*'  Yes,  sir,  you " 

*'  Then  you  lie !  "  exclaimed  our  hero  in  a  rage.  '*  I 
am  a  gentleman,  sir — I  am  sorry  I  cannot  pay  you  the 
same  compliment." 

The  astonishment  and  rage  of  Captain  Tartar  took  away 
his  breath.  He  tried  to  speak,  but  could  not — he  gasped, 
and  gasped,  and  then  sat  or  almost  fell  down  in  his  chair — 
at  last  he  recovered  himself. 

"  Matthews — Matthews  !  " 

**  Sir,"  replied  the  coxswain,  who  had  remained  at  the 
door. 

'*  The  sergeant  of  marines." 

"  Here  he  is,  sir." 

The  sergeant  entered,  and  raised  the  back  of  his  hand 
to  his  hat. 

"  Bring  your  marines  in — take  charge  of  these  two. 
Directly  you  are  on  board,  put  them  both  legs  in  irons." 

The  marines  with  their  bayonets  walked  in  and  took 
possession  of  our  hero  and  Gascoigne. 

"  Perhaps,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  who  was  now  cool  again, 
•*  you  will  permit  us  to  pay  our  bill  before  we  go  on 
board.  We  are  no  swindlers,  and  it  is  rather  a  heavy 
one — or,  as  you  have  taken  possession  of  our  persons, 
you  will,  perhaps,  do  us  the  favour  to  discharge  it  your- 
self;" and  Jack  threw  on  the  table  a  heavy  purse  of 
dollars.  "I  have  only  to  observe.  Captain  Tartar,  that 
I  wish  to  be  very  liberal  to  the  waiters." 

"  Sergeant,  let  them  pay  their  bill,"  said  Captain  Tartar 
in  a  more  subdued  tone,  taking  his  hat  and  sword,  and 
walking  out  of  the  room. 

"  By  heavens.  Easy,  what  have  you  done  ? — you  will 
be  tried  by  a  court-martial,  and  turned  out  of  the  service." 

*'  I  hope  so,"  replied  Jack ;  '*  I  was  a  fool  to  come  into 
it.  But  he  called  me  a  swindler,  and  I  would  give  the 
same  answer  to-morrow." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  209 

**  If  you  are  ready,  gentlemen,"  said  the  sergeant  who 
had  been  long  enough  with  Captain  Tartar  to  be  aware 
that  to  be  punished  by  him  was  no  proof  of  fault  having 
been  committed. 

"I  will  go  and  pack  up  our  things.  Easy,  while  you 
pay  the  bill,"  said  Gascoigne.  "  Marine,  you  had  better 
come  with  me." 

In  less  than  half-an-hour,  our  hero  and  his  comrade, 
instead  of  finding  themselves  at  the  Marquesa's  ball, 
found  themselves  very  comfortably  in  irons  under  the 
half-deck  of  his  Majesty's  frigate,  Aurora. 

We  shall  leave  them,  and  return  to  Captain  Tartar,  who 
had  proceeded  to  the  ball,  to  which  he  had  been  invited. 
On  his  entering  he  was  accosted  by  Don  Martin  and  Don 
Philip,  who  inquired  what  had  become  of  our  hero  and  his 
friend.  Captain  Tartar  who  was  in  no  very  good  humour, 
replied  briskly,  **  that  they  were  on  board  his  ship  in 
irons." 

"  In  irons  !  for  what  ? "  exclaimed  Don  Philip. 

"  Because,  sir,  they  are  a  couple  of  young  scamps  who 
have  introduced  themselves  into  the  best  company,  passing 
themselves  off  as  people  of  consequence,  when  they  are 
only  a  couple  of  midshipmen  who  have  run  away  from  their 
ship." 

Now  the  Rebieras  knew  very  well  that  Jack  and  his 
friend  were  midshipmen ;  but  this  did  not  appear  to  them 
any  reason  why  they  should  not  be  considered  as  gentle- 
men, and  treated  accordingly. 

"Do  you  mean  to  say,  signor,"  said  Don  Philip,  "  that 
you  have  accepted  their  hospitality,  laughed,  talked,  walked 
arm-in-arm  with  them,  pledged  them  in  wine,  as  we  have 
seen  you  this  evening,  and  after  they  have  confided  in  you 
that  you  have  put  them  in  irons  .'' " 

**  Yes,  sir,  I  do,"  replied  Captain  Tartar. 

**  Then,  by  Heaven,  you  have  my  defiance,  and  you  are 
no  gentleman  !  "  replied  Don  Philip,  the  elder. 

"  And  I  repeat  my  brother's  words,  sir,"  cried  Don 
Martin. 


2IO  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

The  two  brothers  felt  so  much  attachment  for  our  hero, 
who  had  twice  rendered  such  signal  service  to  their  family, 
that  their  anger  was  without  bounds. 

In  every  other  service  but  the  English  navy  there  is  not 
that  power  of  grossly  insulting  and  then  sheltering  yourself 
under  your  rank ;  nor  is  it  necessary  for  the  discipline  of  any 
service.  To  these  young  officers,  if  the  power  did  exist, 
the  use  of  such  power  under  such  circumstances  appeared 
monstrous,  and  they  were  determined,  at  all  events,  to 
show  to  Captain  Tartar  that  in  society,  at  least,  it  could  be 
resented.  They  collected  their  friends,  told  them  what  had 
passed,  and  begged  them  to  circulate  it  through  the  room. 
This  was  soon  done,  and  Captain  Tartar  found  himself 
avoided.  He  went  up  to  the  Marquesa  and  spoke  to  her, 
she  turned  her  head  the  other  way.  He  addressed  a  count 
he  had  been  conversing  with  the  night  before — he  turned 
short  round  upon  his  heel,  while  Don  Philip  and  Don 
Martin  walked  up  and  down  talking,  so  that  he  might  hear 
what  they  said,  and  looking  at  him  with  eyes  flashing  with 
indignation.  Captain  Tartar  left  the  ball-room  and  returned 
to  the  inn,  more  indignant  than  ever.  "When  he  rose  the 
next  morning  he  was  informed  that  a  gentleman 
wished  to  speak  with  him  j  he  sent  up  his  card  as  Don 
Ignatio  Verez,  colonel  commanding  the  fourth  regiment  of 
infantry.  On  being  admitted,  he  informed  Captain  Tartar 
that  Don  Philip  de  Rebiera  wished  to  have  the  pleasure  of 
crossing  swords  with  him,  and  requested  to  know  when  it 
would  be  convenient  for  Captain  Tartar  to  meet  him. 

It  was  not  in  Captain  Tartar's  nature  to  refuse  a 
challenge;  his  courage  was  unquestionable,  but  he  felt 
indignant  that  a  midshipman  should  be  the  cause  of  his 
getting  into  such  a  scrape.  He  accepted  the  challenge,  but 
having  no  knowledge  of  the  small  sword,  refused  to  fight 
unless  with  pistols.  To  this  the  colonel  raised  no  objec- 
tions, and  Captain  Tartar  despatched  his  coxswain  with  a 
note  to  his  second  lieutenant,  for  he  was  not  on  good  terms 
with  his  first.  The  meeting  took  place — at  the  first  fire 
the  ball  of  Don  Philip  passed  through  Captain  Tartar's 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  211 

brain,  and  he  instantly  fell  dead.  The  second  lieutenant 
hastened  on  board  to  report  the  fatal  result  of  the  meeting, 
and  shortly  after,  Don  Philip  and  his  brother,  with  many 
of  their  friends,  went  off  in  the  governor's  barge  to  condole 
with  our  hero. 

The  first  lieutenant,  now  captain  "pro  tempore^''  received 
them  graciously,  and  listened  to  their  remonstrances  relative 
to  our  hero  and  Gascoigne. 

"  I  have  never  been  informed  by  the  captain  of  the 
grounds  of  complaint  against  the  young  gentlemen,"  replied 
he,  "  and  have  therefore  no  charge  to  prefer  against  them. 
I  shall  therefore  order  them  to  be  liberated.  But  as  I  learn 
that  they  are  officers  belonging  to  one  of  his  Majesty's 
ships  lying  at  Malta,  I  feel  it  my  duty,  as  I  sail  immediately, 
to  take  them  there  and  send  them  on  board  of  their  own 
ship." 

Jack  and  Gascoigne  were  then  taken  out  of  irons  and 
permitted  to  see  Don  Philip,  who  informed  them  that  he 
had  revenged  the  insult,  but  Jack  and  Gascoigne  did 
not  wish  to  go  on  shore  again  after  what  had  passed. 
After  an  hour's  conversation,  and  assurances  of  continued 
friendship,  Don  Philip,  his  brother,  and  their  friends,  took 
leave  of  our  two  midshipmen,  and  rowed  on  shore. 

And  now  we  must  be  serious. 

We  do  not  write  these  novels  merely  to  amuse, — we 
have  always  had  it  in  our  view  to  instruct,  and  it  must  not 
be  supposed  that  we  have  no  other  end  in  view  than  to 
make  the  reader  laugh.  If  we  were  to  write  an  elaborate 
work,  telling  truths,  and  plain  truths,  confining  ourselves 
only  to  point  out  errors  and  to  demand  reform,  it  would 
not  be  read  \  we  have  therefore  selected  this  light  and 
trifling  species  of  writing,  as  it  is  by  many  denominated, 
as  a  channel  through  which  we  may  convey  wholesome 
advice  in  a  palatable  shape.  If  we  would  point  out  an 
error,  we  draw  a  character,  and  although  that  character 
appears  to  weave  naturally  into  the  tale  of  fiction,  it  be- 
comes as  much  a  beacon  as  it  is  a  vehicle  of  amusement. 
We  consider  this  to  be  the  true  art  of  novel  writing,  and 


212  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

that  crime  and  folly  and  error  can  be  as  severely  lashed  as 
virtue  and  morality  can  be  upheld,  by  a  series  of  amusing 
causes  and  effects,  that  entice  the  reader  to  take  a  medicine, 
which,  although  rendered  agreeable  to  the  palate,  still  pro- 
duces the  same  internal  benefit,  as  if  it  had  been  presented 
to  him  in  its  crude  state,  in  which  it  would  either  be  refused 
or  nauseated. 

In  our  naval  novels,  we  have  often  pointed  out  the  errors 
which  have  existed,  and  still  do  exist,  in  a  service  which 
is  an  honour  to  its  country ;  for  what  institution  is  there  on 
earth  that  is  perfect,  or  into  which,  if  it  once  was  perfect, 
abuses  will  not  creep  ?  Unfortunately,  others  have  written 
to  decry  the  service,  and  many  have  raised  up  their  voices 
against  our  writings,  because  they  felt  that,  in  exposing 
error,  we  were  exposing  them.  But  to  this  we  have  been 
indifferent ;  we  felt  that  we  were  doing  good,  and  we  have 
continued.  To  prove  that  we  are  correct  in  asserting  that 
we  have  done  good,  we  will,  out  of  several,  state  one  single 
case. 

In  "  The  King's  Own,"  a  captain,  when  requested  to 
punish  a  man  instanter  for  a  fault  committed,  replies  that 
he  never  has  and  never  will  punish  a  man  until  twenty-four 
hours  after  the  offence,  that  he  may  not  be  induced  by  the 
anger  of  the  moment  to  award  a  severer  punishment  than 
in  his  cooler  moments  he  might  think  commensurate — and 
that  he  wished  that  the  Admiralty  would  give  out  an  order 
to  that  effect. 

Some  time  after  the  publication  of  that  work,  the  order 
was  given  by  the  Admiralty,  forbidding  the  punishment 
until  a  certain  time  had  elapsed  after  the  offence ;  and  we 
had  the  pleasure  of  knowing  from  the  first  lord  of  the 
Admiralty  of  the  time,  that  it  was  in  consequence  of  the 
suggestion  in  the  novel. 

If  our  writings  had  effected  nothing  else,  we  might  still 
lay  down  our  pen  with  pride  and  satisfaction :  but  they 
have  done  more,  much  more  ;  and  while  they  have  amused 
the  reader,  they  have  improved  the  service  :  they  have  held 
up  in  their  characters  a  mirror,  in  which  those  who  have 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  213 

been  in  error  may  see  their  own  deformity,  and  many  hints 
which  have  been  given  have  afterwards  returned  to  the 
thoughts  of  those  who  have  had  an  influence,  have  been 
considered  as  their  own  ideas,  and  have  been  acted  upon. 
The  conduct  of  Captain  Tartar  may  be  considered  as  a  libel 
on  the  service — is  it  not?  The  fault  of  Captain  Tartar 
was  not  in  sending  them  on  board,  or  even  putting  them 
in  irons  as  deserters,  although,  under  the  circumstances, 
he  might  have  shown  more  delicacy.  The  fault  was  in 
stigmatising  a  young  man  as  a  swindler,  and  the  punish- 
ment awarded  to  the  error  is  intended  to  point  out  the 
moral,  that  such  an  abuse  of  power  should  be  severely 
visited.  The  greatest  error  now  in  our  service,  is  the  dis- 
regard shown  to  the  feelings  of  the  junior  officers  in  the 
language  of  their  superiors  :  that  an  improvement  has  taken 
place  I  grant,  but  that  it  still  exists,  to  a  degree  injurious 
to  the  service,  I  know  too  well.  The  articles  of  war,  as 
our  hero  was  informed  by  his  captain,  were  equally  binding 
on  officers  and  crew ;  but  what  a  dead  letter  do  they  be- 
come if  officers  are  permitted  to  break  them  with  impunity  ! 
The  captain  of  a  ship  will  turn  the  hands  up  to  punishment, 
read  the  article  of  war  for  the  transgressing  of  which  the 
punishment  is  inflicted,  and  to  show  at  that  time  their  high 
respect  for  the  articles  of  war,  the  captain  and  every  officer 
take  of  their  hats.  The  moment  the  hands  are  piped  down, 
the  second  article  of  war,  which  forbids  all  swearing,  &c., 
in  derogation  of  God's  honour  is  immediately  disregarded. 
We  are  not  strait-laced, — we  care  little  about  an  oath  as  a 
mere  expletive ;  we  refer  now  to  swearing  at  others,  to  in- 
sulting their  feelings  grossly  by  coarse  and  intemperate 
language.     We  would   never   interfere   with   a   man   for 

d g  his  onvn  eyes,  but  we  deny  the  right  of  his  d g 

those  of  another. 

The  rank  of  a  master  in  the  service  is  above  that  of  a 
midshipman,  but  still  the  midshipman  is  a  gentleman  by 
birth,  and  the  master,  generally  speaking,  is  not.  Even  at 
this  moment,  in  the  service,  if  the  master  were  to  d — n 
the  eyes  of  a  midshipman,  and  tell  him  that  he  was  a  liar. 


214  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

would  there  be  any  redress,  or  if  so,  would  it  be  commen- 
surate to  the  insult  ?  If  a  midshipman  were  to  request  a 
court-martial,  would  it  be  granted  ?  certainly  not :  and  yet 
this  is  a  point  of  more  importance  than  may  be  conceived. 
Our  service  has  been  wonderfully  improved  since  the  peace, 
and  those  who  are  now  permitted  to  enter  it  must  be  gentle- 
men. We  know  that  even  now  there  are  many  who  cry 
out  against  this  as  dangerous,  and  injurious  to  the  service ; 
as  if  education  spoilt  an  officer,  and  the  scion  of  an  illus- 
trious house  would  not  be  more  careful  to  uphold  an 
escutcheon  without  blemish  for  centuries  than  one  who 
has  little  more  than  brute  courage ;  but  those  who  argue 
thus  are  the  very  people  who  are  injurious  to  the  service, 
for  they  can  have  no  other  reason,  except  that  they 
wish  that  the  juniors  may  be  tyrannised  over  with 
impunity. 

Be  it  remembered  that  these  are  not  the  observations 
of  a  junior  officer,  smarting  under  insult — they  are  the 
result  of  deep  and  calm  reflection.  We  have  arrived  to 
that  grade,  that,  although  we  have  the  power  to  inflict,  we 
are  too  high  to  receive  insult,  but  we  have  not  forgotten 
how  our  young  blood  has  boiled  when  wanton,  reckless, 
and  cruel  torture  has  been  heaped  upon  our  feelings, 
merely  because,  as  a  junior  officer,  we  were  not  in  a  position 
to  retahate,  or  even  to  reply.  And  another  evil  is,  that 
this  great  error  is  disseminated.  In  observing  on  it,  in  one 
of  our  works,  called  "  Peter  Simple,"  we  have  put  the 
following  true  observation  in  the  mouth  of  O'Brien. 
Peter  observes,  in  his  simple,  right-minded  way — 

**  I  should  think,  O'Brien,  that  the  very  circumstance  of 
having  had  your  feelings  so  often  wounded  by  such 
language  when  you  were  a  junior  officer  would  make  you 
doubly  careful  not  to  use  it  towards  others,  when  you  had 
advanced  in  the  service." 

"  Peter,  that's  just  the  first  feeling,  which  wears  away 
after  a  time,  till  at  last  your  own  sense  of  indignation, 
becomes  blunted,  and  becomes  indifferent  to  it:  you  forget, 
also,  that  you  wound  the  feelings  of  others,  and  carry  the 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  215 

habit  with  you,  to  the  great  injury  and  disgrace  of  the 
service." 

Let  it  not  be  supposed  that  in  making  these  remarks  we 
want  to  cause  litigation,  or  insubordination.  On  the 
contrary,  we  assert  that  this  error  is  the  cause,  and 
eventually  will  be  much  more  the  cause,  of  insubordination  ; 
for  as  the  junior  officers  who  enter  the  service  are  improved, 
so  will  they  resist  it.  The  complaint  here  is  more  against 
the  officers  than  the  captains,  whose  power  has  been  perhaps 
already  too  much  curtailed  by  late  regulations  :  that  power 
must  remain,  for  although  there  may  be  some  few  who  are 
so  perverted  as  to  make  those  whom  they  command 
uncomfortable,  in  justice  to  the  service  we  are  proud  to 
assert,  that  the  majority  acknowledge,  by  their  conduct, 
that  the  greatest  charm  attached  to  power  is  to  be  able  to 
make  so  many  people  happy. 


Chapter  XXII 

Our  hero  is  sick  with  the  service,  but  recovers  with  proper  medicine.  An 
argument,  ending,  as  most  do,  in  a  blow  up,  Mestjr  lectures  upon 
Craniology. 

The  day  after  the  funeral,  H.M.  ship  Aurora  sailed  for 
Malta,  and  on  her  arrival  the  acting  captain  sent  our  two 
midshipmen  on  board  the  Harpy  without  any  remark, 
except  "  victualled  the  day  discharged,"  as  they  had  been 
borne  on  the  ship's  books  as  supernumeraries. 

Mr  James,  who  was  acting  in  the  Aurora,  was  anxious  to 
join  the  Admiral  at  Toulon,  and  intended  to  sail  the  next 
day.  He  met  Captain  Wilson  at  the  governor's  table,  and 
stated  that  Jack  and  Gascoigne  had  been  put  in  irons  by 
order  of  Captain  Tartar ;  his  suspicions,  and  the  report, 
that  the  duel  had  in  consequence  taken  place ;  but 
Gascoigne  and  Jack  had  both  agreed  that  they  would  not 
communicate  the  events  of  their  cruise  to  anybody  on  board 
of  the  Aurora ;   and   therefore  nothing  else  was  known, 


2i6  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

except  that  they  must  have  made  powerful  friends  some- 
how or  another;  and  there  appeared  in  the  conduct  of 
Captain  Tartar,  as  well  as  in  the  whole  transaction,  some- 
what of  a  mystery. 

"  I  should  like  to  know  what  happened  to  my  friend 
Jack,  who  fought  the  duel,"  said  the  governor,  who  had 
laughed  at  it  till  he  held  his  sides  ;  "  Wilson,  do  bring  him 
here  to-morrow  morning,  and  let  us  have  his  story," 

"I  am  afraid  of  encouraging  him,  Sir  Thomas,  he  is 
much  too  wild  already.  I  told  you  of  his  first  cruise.  He 
has  nothing  but  adventures,  and  they  all  end  too  favourably." 

**  Well,  but  you  can  send  for  him  here  and  blow  him  up 
just  as  well  as  in  your  own  cabin,  and  then  we  will  have 
the  truth  out  of  him." 

"That  you  certainly  will,"  replied  Captain  Wilson, 
"  for  he  tells  it  plainly  enough."  . 

"Well,  to  oblige  me,  send  for  him.  I  don't  see  he  was 
much  to  blame  in  absconding,  as  it  appears  he  thought  he 
would  be  hung.     I  want  to  see  the  lad." 

"  Well,  governor,  if  you  wish  it,"  replied  Captain 
Wilson,  who  wrote  a  note  to  Mr  Sawbridge,  requesting 
he  would  send  Mr  Easy  to  him  at  the  governor's  house  at 
ten  o'clock  in  the  morning. 

Jack  made  his  appearance  in  his  uniform — he  did  not 
much  care  for  what  was  said  to  him,  as  he  was  resolved  to 
leave  the  service.  He  had  been  put  in  irons,  and  the  iron 
had  entered  into  his  soul. 

Mr  Sawbridge  had  gone  on  shore  about  an  hour  before 
Jack  had  been  sent  on  board,  and  he  had  remained  on 
shore  all  the  night.  He  did  not  therefore  see  Jack  but 
for  a  few  minutes,  and  thinking  it  his  duty  to  say  nothing 
to  him  at  first,  or  to  express  his  displeasure,  he  merely 
observed  to  him  that  the  captain  would  speak  to  him  as 
soon  as  he  came  on  board.  As  Gascoigne  and  our  hero 
did  not  know  how  far  it  might  be  safe,  even  at  Malta,  to 
acknowledge  to  what  occurred  on  board  the  speronare, 
which  might  get  wind,  they  did  not  even  tell  their 
messmates,  resolving  only  to  confide  it  to  the  captain. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  217 

When  Jack  was  ushered  into  the  presence  of  the  captain, 
he  found  him  sitting  with  the  governor,  and  the  breakfast 
on  the  table  ready  for  them.  Jack  walked  in  with  courage, 
but  respectfully.  He  was  fond  of  Captain  Wilson,  and 
wished  to  show  him  respect.  Captain  Wilson  addressed 
him,  pointed  out  that  he  had  committed  a  great  error  in 
fighting  a  duel — a  greater  error  in  demeaning  himself  by 
fighting  the  purser's  steward,  and  still  greater  in  running 
away  from  his  ship.  Jack  looked  respectfully  to  Captain 
Wilson,  acknowledged  that  he  had  done  wrong,  and 
promised  to  be  more  careful  another  time,  if  Captain 
Wilson  would  look  over  it. 

"  Captain  Wilson,  allow  me  to  plead  for  the  young 
gentleman,"  said  the  governor j  "I  am  convinced  that  it 
has  only  been  an  error  in  judgment." 

"  Well,  Mr  Easy,  as  you  express  your  contrition,  and 
the  governor  interferes  in  your  behalf,  I  shall  take  no 
more  notice  of  this.  But  recollect,  Mr  Easy,  that  you 
have  occasioned  me  a  great  deal  of  anxiety  by  your  mad 
pranks,  and  I  trust  another  time  you  will  remember  that  I 
am  too  anxious  for  your  welfare  not  to  be  uncomfortable 
when  you  run  such  risks.  You  may  now  go  on  board  to 
your  duty,  and  tell  Mr  Gascoigne  to  do  the  same ;  and 
pray  let  us  hear  of  no  more  duels  or  running  away." 

Jack,  whose  heart  softened  at  this  kind  treatment,  did 
not  venture  to  speak ;  he  made  his  bow  and  was  about  to 
quit  the  room,  when  the  governor  said — 

**  Mr  Easy,  you  have  not  breakfasted  ?  " 

**  I  have,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  "  before  I  came  on  shore.'* 

**  But  a  midshipman  can  always  eat  two  breakfasts, 
particularly  when  his  own  comes  first ;  so  sit  down  and 
breakfast  with  us — it's  all  over  now." 

<*  Even  if  it  was  not,"  replied  Captain  Wilson,  laughing, 
**  I  doubt  whether  it  would  spoil  Mr  Easy's  breakfast. 
Come,  Mr  Easy,  sit  down." 

Jack  bowed,  and  took  his  chair,  and  proved  that  his 
lecture  had  not  taken  away  his  appetite.  When  breakfast 
was  over.  Captain  Wilson  observed — 


2i8  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  Mr  Easy,  you  have  generally  a  few  adventures  to 
speak  of  when  you  return,  will  you  tell  the  governor  and 
me  what  has  taken  place  since  you  left  us  ? " 

"  Certainly,  sir,"  replied  Jack ;  "  but  I  venture  to 
request  that  it  may  be  under  the  promise  of  secrecy,  for 
it's  rather  important  to  me  and  Gascoigne." 

"  Yes,  if  secrecy  is  really  necessary,  my  boy ;  but  I'm 
the  best  judge  of  that,"  replied  the  governor. 

Jack  then  entered  into  a  detail  of  his  adventures,  which 
we  have  already  described,  much  to  the  astonishment  of 
the  governor  and  his  captain,  and  concluded  his  narration 
by  stating  that  he  wanted  to  leave  the  service ;  he  hoped 
that  Captain  Wilson  would  discharge  him  and  send  him 
home. 

"Pooh,  nonsense!"  said  the  governor,  "you  shan't 
leave  the  Mediterranean  while  I  am  here.  No,  no — you 
must  have  more  adventures,  and  come  back  and  tell  them 
to  me.  And  recollect,  my  lad,  that  whenever  you  come 
to  Malta,  there  is  a  bed  at  the  governor's  house,  and  a 
seat  at  his  table,  always  ready  for  you." 

"  You  are  very  kind,  Sir  Thomas,  replied  Jack, 
«  but " 

"No  buts  at  all,  sir — you  shan't  leave  the  service! 
Besides,  recollect  that  I  can  ask  for  leave  of  absence  for 
you  to  go  and  see  Donna  Agnes.  Ay,  and  send  you 
there,  too." 

Captain  Wilson  also  remonstrated  with  our  hero,  and  he 
gave  up  the  point.  It  was  harsh  treatment  which  made 
him  form  the  resolution— it  was  kindness  which  over- 
came it. 

"  With  your  permission,  Captain  Wilson,  Mr  Easy  shall 
dine  with  us  to-day,  and  bring  Gascoigne  with  him.  You 
shall  first  scold  him,  and  I'll  console  him  with  a  good 
dinner.  And,  boy,  don't  be  afraid  to  tell  your  story 
everywhere.  Sit  down  and  tell  it  at  Nix  Mangare  stairs, 
if  you  please.     I'm  governor  here  !  " 

Jack  made  his  obeisance,  and  departed. 

"  The  lad  must  be  treated  kindly.  Captain  Wilson,"  said 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  219 

the  governor ;  **  he  would  be  a  loss  to  the  service.  Good 
heavens,  what  adventures,  and  how  honestly  he  tells 
everything  !  I  shall  ask  him  to  stay  with  me  for  the  time 
you  are  here,  if  you  will  allow  me  :  I  want  to  make  friends 
with  him — he  must  not  leave  the  service." 

Captain  Wilson,  who  felt  that  kindness  and  attention 
would  be  more  effectual  with  our  hero  than  any  other 
measures,  gave  his  consent  to  the  governor's  proposition. 
So  Jack  ate  at  the  governor's  table,  and  took  lessons  in 
Spanish  and  Italian  until  the  Harpy  had  been  refitted,  after 
heaving  down.  Before  she  was  ready  a  vessel  arrived 
from  the  fleet,  directing  Captain  Wilson  to  repair  to 
Mahon  and  send  a  transport,  lying  there,  to  procure  live 
bullocks  for  the  fleet.  Jack  did  not  join  his  ship  very 
willingly,  but  he  had  promised  the  governor  to  remain  in 
the  service,  and  he  went  on  board  the  evening  before  she 
sailed.  He  had  been  living  so  well  that  he  had,  at  first,  a 
horror  of  midshipman's  fare,  but  a  good  appetite  seasons 
everything,  and  Jack  soon  complained  that  there  was  not 
enough.  He  was  delighted  to  see  Jolliffe  and  Mesty  after 
so  long  an  absence ;  he  laughed  at  the  boatswain's  cheeks, 
inquired  after  the  purser's  steward's  shot-holes,  shook 
hands  with  Gascoigne  and  his  other  messmates,  gave 
Vigors  a  thrashing,  and  then  sat  down  to  supper. 

"  Ah,  Massa  Easy,  why  you  take  a  cruise  without  me  ? " 
said  Mesty  ;  "  dat  very  shabby.  By  de  power,  but  I  wish 
I  was  there.  You  ab  too  much  danger,  Massa  Easy, 
without  Mesty,  any  how." 

The  next  day  the  Harpy  sailed,  and  Jack  went  to  his 
duty.  Mr  Asper  borrowed  ten  pounds,  and  our  hero  kept 
as  much  watch  as  he  pleased,  which,  as  watching  did  not 
please  him,  was  very  little.  Mr  Sawbridge  had  long 
conversations  with  our  hero,  pointing  out  to  him  the 
necessity  of  discipline  and  obedience  in  the  service,  and 
that  there  was  no  such  thing  as  equality,  and  that  the 
rights  of  man  secured  to  every  one  the  property  which  he 
held  in  possession. 

**  According  to  your  ideas,  Mr  Easy,  a  man  has  no  more 


220  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

right  to  his  wife  than  anything  else,  and  any  other  man 
may  claim  her." 

Jack  thought  of  Agnes,  and  he  made  matrimony  an 
exception,  as  he  continued  to  argue  the  point  j  but 
although  he  argued,  still  his  philosophy  was  almost  upset 
at  the  idea  of  any  one  disputing  with  him  the  rights  of 
man,  with  respect  to  Agnes. 

The  Harpy  made  the  African  coast,  the  wind  continued 
contrary,  and  they  were  baffled  for  many  days  j  at  last 
they  espied  a  brig  under  the  land,  about  sixteen  miles  off; 
her  rig  and  appearance  made  Captain  Wilson  suspect  that 
she  was  a  privateer  of  some  description  or  another,  but  it 
was  calm,  and  they  could  not  approach  her.  Nevertheless 
Captain  Wilson  thought  it  his  duty  to  examine  her  j  so  at 
ten  o'clock  at  night  the  boats  were  hoisted  out :  as  this 
was  merely  intended  for  a  reconnoitre,  for  there  was  no 
saying  what  she  might  be,  Mr  Sawbridge  did  not  go.  Mr 
Asper  was  in  the  sick  list,  so  Mr  Smallsole  the  master  had 
the  command  of  the  expedition.  Jack  asked  Mr  Sawbridge 
to  let  him  have  charge  of  one  of  the  boats.  Mr  JollifFe 
and  Mr  Vigors  went  in  the  pinnace  with  the  master.  The 
gunner  had  the  charge  of  one  cutter,  and  our  hero  had  the 
command  of  the  other.  Jack,  although  not  much  more 
than  seventeen,  was  very  strong  and  tall  for  his  age ; 
indeed  he  was  a  man  grown,  and  shaved  twice  a-week. 
His  only  object  in  going  was  to  have  a  yarn  for  the 
governor  when  he  returned  to  Malta.  Mesty  went  with 
him,  and,  as  the  boat  shoved  off,  Gascoigne  slipped  in, 
telling  Jack  that  he  was  come  to  take  care  of  him,  for 
which  considerate  kindness  Jack  expressed  his  warmest 
thanks.  The  orders  to  the  master  were  very  explicit ;  he 
was  to  reconnoitre  the  vessel,  and  if  she  proved  heavily 
armed  not  to  attack,  for  she  was  embayed,  and  could  not 
escape  the  Harpy  as  soon  as  there  was  wind.  If  not 
armed  he  was  to  board  her,  but  he  was  to  do  nothing  till 
the  morning :  the  reason  for  sending  the  boats  away  so 
soon  was,  that  the  men  might  not  suffer  from  the  heat 
of  the  sun  during  the  daytime,  which  was  excessive,  and 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  221 

had  aheady  put  many  men  on  the  sick  list.  The  boats 
were  to  pull  to  the  bottom  of  the  bay,  not  to  go  so  near 
as  to  be  discovered,  and  then  drop  their  grapnels  till 
daylight.  The  orders  were  given  to  Mr  Smallsole  in 
presence  of  the  other  officers  who  were  appointed  to  the 
boats,  that  there  might  be  no  mistake,  and  the  boats  then 
shoved  off.  After  a  three  hours'  pull,  they  arrived  to 
where  the  brig  lay  becalmed,  and  as  they  saw  no  lights 
moving  on  board,  they  supposed  they  were  not  seen. 
They  dropped  their  grapnels  in  about  seven  fathoms  water 
and  waited  for  daylight.  When  Jack  heard  Captain 
Wilson's  orders  that  they  were  to  lie  at  anchor  till 
daylight,  he  had  sent  down  Mesty  for  fishing-lines,  as 
fresh  fish  is  always  agreeable  in  a  midshipman's  berth : 
he  and  Gascoigne  amused  themselves  this  way,  and  as 
they  pulled  up  the  fish  they  entered  into  an  argument,  and 
Mr  Smallsole  ordered  them  to  be  silent.  The  point  which 
they  discussed  was  relative  to  boat  service ;  Gascoigne 
insisted  that  the  boats  should  all  board  at  once — while  our 
hero  took  it  into  his  head  that  it  was  better  they  should 
come  up  one  after  another  ;  a  novel  idea,  but  Jack's  ideas 
on  most  points  were  singular. 

"  If  you  throw  your  whole  force  upon  the  decks  at 
once,  you  overpower  them,"  observed  Gascoigne ;  "  if 
you  do  not  you  are  beaten  in  detail." 

**  Very  true,"  replied  Jack,  "  supposing  that  you  have 
an  overpowering  force,  or  they  are  not  prepared ;  but 
recollect,  that  if  they  are,  the  case  is  altered  ;  for  instance, 
as  to  fire-arms — they  fire  theirs  at  the  first  boat,  and  they 
have  not  time  to  re-load,  when  the  second  comes  up  with 
its  fire  reserved ;  every  fresh  boat  arriving  adds  to  the 
courage  of  those  who  have  boarded,  and  to  the  alarm  of 
those  who  defend ;  the  men  come  on  fresh  and  fresh. 
Depend  upon  it,  Gascoigne,  there  is  nothing  like  a  '  corps 
de  reserved  " 

"  Will  you  keep  silence  in  your  boat,  Mr  Easy,  or  will 
you  not?"  cried  the  master;  "you're  a  disgrace  to  the 
service,  sir." 


222  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

**  Thank  ye,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  in  a  low  tone.  "  I've 
another  bite,  Ned." 

Jack  and  his  comrade  continued  to  fish  in  silence  till 
the  day  broke.  The  mist  rolled  off  the  stagnant  water, 
and  discovered  the  brig,  who,  as  soon  as  she  perceived 
the  boats,  threw  out  the  French  tricolour,  and  fired  a 
gun  of  defiance. 

Mr  Smallsole  was  undecided;  the  gun  fired  was  not 
a  hea:vy  one,  and  so  Mr  Jolliffe  remarked ;  the  men,  as 
usual,  anxious  for  the  attack,  asserted  the  same,  and  Mr 
Smallsole,  afraid  of  retreating  from  the  enemy  and  being 
afterwards  despised  by  the  ship's  company,  ordered  the 
boats  to  weigh  their  grapnels. 

"  Stop  a  moment,  my  lads,"  said  Jack  to  his  men,  "  I've 
got  a  bite."  The  men  laughed  at  Jack's  taking  it  so  easy, 
but  he  was  their  pet ;  and  they  did  stop  for  him  to  pull 
up  his  fish,  intending  to  pull  up  to  the  other  boats  and 
recover  their  loss  of  a  few  seconds. 

"  I've  hooked  him  now,"  said  Jack ;  "  you  may  up  with 
the  grapnel  while  I  up  with  the  fish."  But  this  delay 
gave  the  other  boats  a  start  of  a  dozen  strokes  of  their 
oars,  which  was  a  distance  not  easy  to  be  regained. 

"  They  will  be  aboard  before  us,  sir,"  said  the  coxswain. 

"Never  mind  that,"  replied  Jack;  '*  someone  must  be  last." 

"But  not  the  boat  I  am  in,"  replied  Gascoigne ;  "if 
I  could  help  it." 

"I  tell  you,"  replied  Jack,  "we  shall  be  the  ^  corps  de 
reserve^  and  have  the  honour  of  turning  the  scale  in  our 
favour." 

"  Give  way,  my  lads,"  cried  Gascoigne,  perceiving  the 
other  boats  still  kept  their  distance  ahead  of  them,  which 
was  about  a  cable's  length. 

"  Gascoigne,  I  command  the  boat,"  said  Jack,  "  and  I 
do  not  wish  my  men  to  board  without  any  breath  in  their 
bodies — that's  a  very  unwise  plan.  A  steady  pull,  my 
lads,  and  not  too  much  exertion." 

"  By  heavens,  they'll  take  the  vessel  before  we  get 
alongside." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  223 

**  Even  if  they  should,  I  am  right,  am  I  not,  Mesty  ? " 

"  Yes,  Massa  Easy,  you  very  right — suppose  they  take 
vessel  without  you,  they  no  want  you — suppose  they  want 
you,  you  come."  And  the  negro,  who  had  thrown  his 
jacket  off,  bared  his  arm,  as  if  he  intended  mischief. 

The  first  cutter,  commanded  by  the  gunner,  now  gained 
upon  the  launch,  and  was  three  boats'-lengths  ahead  of 
her  when  she  came  alongside.  The  brig  poured  in  her 
broadside — it  was  well  directed,  and  down  went  the  boat. 

**  Cutter's  sunk,"  exclaimed  Gascoigne  ;  "  by  heavens  ! 
give  way,  my  men." 

"  Now,  don't  you  observe,  that  had  we  all  three  been 
pulling  up  together,  the  broadside  would  have  sunk  us 
all  ?  "  said  Jack,  very  composedly. 

"  There's  board  in  the  launch — give  way,  my  men,  give 
way,"  said  Gascoigne,  stamping  with  impatience. 

The  reception  was  evidently  warm  ;  by  the  time  that 
the  launch  had  poured  in  her  men,  the  second  cutter  was 
close  under  the  brig's  quarter — two  more  strokes  and  she 
was  alongside  ;  when  of  a  sudden,  a  tremendous  explosion 
took  place  on  the  deck  of  the  vessel,  and  bodies  and 
fragments  were  hurled  up  in  the  air.  So  tremendous  was 
the  explosion,  that  the  men  of  the  second  cutter,  as  if 
transfixed,  simultaneously  stopped  pulling,  their  eyes 
directed  to  the  volumes  of  smoke  which  poured  through 
the  ports,  and  hid  the  whole  of  the  masts  and  rigging  of 
the  vessel. 

"  Now's  your  time,  my  lads,  give  way,  and  alongside," 
cried  our  hero. 

The  men,  reminded  by  his  voice,  obeyed — but  the 
impetus  already  given  to  the  boat  was  sufficient.  Before 
they  could  drop  their  oars  in  the  water  they  grazed  against 
the  vessel's  sides,  and,  following  Jack,  were  in  a  few 
seconds  on  the  quarter-deck  of  the  vessel.  A  dreadful 
sight  presented  itself — the  whole  deck  was  black,  and 
corpses  lay  strewed  ;  their  clothes  on  them  still  burning, 
and  among  the  bodies  lay  fragments  of  what  once  were 
men. 


224  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

The  capstern  was  unshipped  and  turned  over  on  its  side 
— the  binnacles  were  in  remnants,  and  many  of  the  ropes 
ignited.  There  was  not  one  person  left  on  deck  to  oppose 
them. 

As  they  afterwards  learned  from  some  of  the  men  who 
had  saved  their  lives  by  remaining  below,  the  French 
captain  had  seen  the  boats  before  they  anchored,  and  had 
made  every  preparation  ;  he  had  filled  a  large  ammunition 
chest  with  cartridges  for  the  guns,  that  they  might  not 
have  to  hand  them  up.  The  conflict  between  the  men  of 
the  pinnace  and  the  crew  of  the  vessel  was  carried  on  near 
the  capstern,  and  a  pistol  fired  had  accidentally  communi- 
cated with  the  powder,  which  blew  up  in  the  very  centre 
of  the  dense  and  desperate  struggle. 

The  first  object  was  to  draw  water  and  extinguish  the 
flames,  which  were  spreading  over  the  vessel ;  as  soon  as 
that  was  accomplished,  our  hero  went  aft  to  the  taffrail, 
and  looked  for  the  cutter  which  had  been  sunk, — "  Gas- 
coigne,  jump  into  the  boat  with  four  men — I  see  the  cutter 
floats  a  quarter  of  a  mile  astern  :  there  may  be  some  one 
alive  yet.     I  think  now  I  see  a  head  or  two." 

Gascoigne  hastened  away,  and  soon  returned  with  three 
of  the  cutter's  men  ;  the  rest  had  sunk,  probably  killed  or 
wounded  by  the  discharge  of  the  broadside. 

*'  Thank  God,  there's  three  saved  !  "  said  Jack,  "  for 
we  have  lost  too  many.  We  must  now  see  if  any  of  these 
poor  fellows  are  yet  alive,  and  clear  the  decks  of  the 
remnants  of  those  who  have  been  blown  to  pieces.  I  say, 
Ned,  where  should  we  have  been  if  we  had  boarded  with 
the  pinnace  ? " 

•'  You  always  fall  upon  your  feet.  Easy,"  replied  Gas- 
coigne ;  **  but  that  does  not  prove  that  you  are  right." 

**  I  see  there's  no  convincing  you,  Ned,  you  are  so 
confoundedly  fond  of  argument.  However,  I've  no  time 
to  argue  now — we  must  look  to  these  poor  fellows  ;  some 
are  still  alive." 

Body  after  body  was  thrown  through  the  ports,  the 
habiliments,  in  most  cases,  enabling  them  to  distinguish 
whether  it  was  that  of  a  departed  friend  or  foe. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  225 

Jack  turned  round,  and  observed  Mesty  with  his  foot  on 
a  head  which  had  been  blown  from  the  trunk. 

"  What  are  you  about,  Mesty  ?  " 

<*  Massa  Easy,  I  look  at  dis,  and  I  tink  it  Massa  Vigors' 
head,  and  den  I  tink  dis  skull  of  his  enemy  nice  present 
make  to  little  Massa  Gossett  ;  and  den  I  tink  again,  and  I 
say,  no,  he  dead  and  nebber  thrash  any  more — so  let  him 
go  overboard." 

Jack  turned  away,  forgiving  Vigors  in  his  heart ;  he 
thought  of  the  petty  animosities  of  a  midshipman's  berth, 
as  he  looked  at  the  blackened  portion  of  a  body  half  an 
hour  before  possessing  intellect. 

'*  Massa  Easy,"  said  Mesty,  "  I  tink  you  say  right,  any 
how,  when  you  say  forgive  :  den,  Massa  Vigors,"  con- 
tinued Mesty,  taking  up  the  head  by  the  singed  hair,  and 
tossing  it  out  of  the  port  ;  *'  you  really  very  bad  man — 
but  Ashantee  forgive  you." 

"  Here's  somebody  alive,"  said  Gascoigne  to  Jack,  ex- 
amining a  body,  the  face  of  which  was  black  as  a  cinder 
and  not  to  be  recognised,  "  and  he  is  one  of  our  men,  too, 
by  his  dress." 

Our  hero  went  up  to  examine,  and  to  assist  Gascoigne 
in  disengaging  the  body  from  a  heap  of  ropes  and  half- 
burnt  tarpaulings  with  which  it  was  entangled.  Mesty 
followed,  and  looking  at  the  lower  extremities  said, 
"  Massa  Easy,  dat  Massa  JollifFe  ;  I  know  him  trousers  ; 
marine  tailor  say  he  patch  um  for  ever,  and  so  old  dat  de 
thread  no  hold  ;  yesterday  he  had  dis  patch  put  in,  and 
marine  tailor  say  he  be  d — n  if  he  patch  any  more,  please 
nobody." 

Mesty  was  right  ;  it  was  poor  JollifFe,  whose  face  was 
burnt  as  black  as  a  coal  by  the  explosion.  He  had  also 
lost  three  fingers  of  the  left  hand,  but  as  soon  as  he  was 
brought  out  on  the  deck  he  appeared  to  recover,  and 
pointed  to  his  mouth  for  water,  which  was  instantly  pro- 
cured. 

*'  Mesty,"  said  Jack,  *'  I  leave  you  in  charge  of  Mr 
JollifFe  ;  take  every  care  of  him  till  I  can  come  back." 
E  P 


226  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

The  investigation  was  then  continued,  and  four  English 
sailors  found  who  might  be  expected  to  recover,  as  well 
as  about  the  same  number  of  Frenchmen  ;  the  remainder 
of  the  bodies  were  then  thrown  overboard.  The  hat  -only 
of  the  master  was  picked  up  between  the  guns,  and  there 
were  but  eleven  Frenchmen  found  below. 

The  vessel  was  the  Franklin,  a  French  privateer  of  ten 
guns  and  sixty-five  men,  of  which,  eight  men  were  away 
in  prizes.  The  loss  on  the  part  of  the  vessel  was  forty- 
six  killed  and  wounded.  On  that  of  the  Harpy,  it  was 
five  drowned  in  the  cutter,  and  eighteen  blown  up  belong- 
ing to  the  pinnace,  out  of  which  total  of  twenty-three, 
they  had  only  Mr  JollifFe  and  five  seamen  alive. 

"  The  Harpy  is  standing  in  with  a  breeze  from  the 
offing,"  said  Gascoigne  to  Easy. 

*'  So  much  the  better,  for  I  am  sick  of  this,  Ned  ;  there 
is  something  so  horrible  in  it,  and  I  wish  I  was  on  board 
again.  I  have  just  been  to  JollifFe  ;  he  can  speak  a  little  ; 
I  think  he  will  recover.  I  hope  so,  poor  fellow  ;  he  will 
then  obtain  his  promotion,  for  he  is  the  commanding  officer 
of  all  us  who  are  left." 

"  And  if  he  does,"  replied  Gascoigne,  "  he  can  swear 
that  it  was  by  having  been  blown  up  which  spoilt  his 
beauty — but  here  comes  the  Harpy.  I  have  been  looking 
for  an  English  ensign  to  hoist  over  the  French,  but  cannot 
find  one  ;  so  I  hoist  a  wheft  over  it, — that  will  do." 

The  Harpy  was  soon  hove-to  close  to  the  brig,  and  Jack 
went  on  board  in  the  cutter  to  report  what  had  taken 
place.  Captain  Wilson  was  much  vexed  and  grieved  at 
the  loss  of  so  many  men  :  fresh  hands  were  put  in  the 
cutter  to  man  the  pinnace,  and  he  and  Sawbridge  both 
went  on  board  to  witness  the  horrible  effects  of  the 
explosion  as  described  by  our  hero. 

Jolliffe  and  the  wounded  men  were  taken  on  board, 
and  all  of  them  recovered.  "We  have  before  stated  how 
disfigured  the  countenance  of  poor  Mr  Jolliffe  had  been 
by  the  small-pox — so  severely  was  it  burned  that  the 
whole  of  the  countenance  came  off  in   three  weeks   like 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  227 

a  mask,  and  every  one  declared  that,  seamed  as  it  still 
was,  Mr  JollifFe  was  better  looking  than  he  was  before. 
It  may  be  as  well  here  to  state,  that  Mr  JollifFe  not  only 
obtained  his  promotion,  but  a  pension  for  his  wounds,  and 
retired  from  the  service.  He  was  still  very  plain,  but  as  it 
was  known  that  he  had  been  blown  up,  the  loss  of  his  eye 
as  well  as  the  scars  on  his  face  were  all  put  down  to  the 
same  accident,  and  he  excited  interest  as  a  gallant  and 
maimed  officer.  He  married,  and  lived  contented  and 
happy  to  a  good  old  age. 

The  Harpy  proceeded  with  her  prize  to  Mahon.  Jack, 
as  usual,  obtained  a  great  deal  of  credit ;  whether  he 
deserved  it,  or  whether,  as  Gascoigne  observed,  he  always 
fell  upon  his  feet,  the  reader  may  decide  from  our  narra- 
tive ;  perhaps  there  was  a  little  of  both.  The  seamen  of 
the  Harpy,  if  summoned  in  a  hurry,  used  very  often  to 
reply,  "  Stop  a  minute,  I've  got  a  bite  : "  as  for  Jack,  he 
often  said  to  himself,  **  I  have  a  famous  good  yarn  for  the 
governor." 


Chapter    XXIII 

Jack  goes  on  another  cruise — Love  and  diplomacy — Jack  proves  himself  as 
clever  for  three,  and  upsets  all  the  arrangements  of  the  high  contracting 
powers. 

A  FEW  days  after  the  arrival  of  the  Harpy  at  Port  Mahon 
a  cutter  came  in  with  despatches  from  the  admiral.  Cap- 
tain Wilson  found  that  he  was  posted  into  the  Aurora 
frigate,  in  which  a  vacancy  had  been  made  by  the  result  of 
our  hero's  transgressions. 

Mr  Sawbridge  was  raised  to  the  rank  of  commander,  and 
appointed  to  the  command  of  the  Harpy.  The  admiral  in- 
formed Captain  Wilson  that  he  must  detain  the  Aurora 
until  the  arrival  of  another  frigate,  hourly  expected,  and 
then  she  would  be  sent  down  to  Mahon  for  him  to  take 
the  command  of  her.     Further,  he  intimated  that  a  supply 


228  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

of  live  bullocks  would  be  very  agreeable,  and  begged  that 
he  would  send  to  Tetuan  immediately. 

Captain  "Wilson  had  lost  so  many  officers  that  he  knew 
not  whom  to  send  :  indeed,  now  he  was  no  longer  in  com- 
mand of  the  Harpyy  and  there  was  but  one  lieutenant  and 
no  master  or  master's  mate.  Gascoigne  and  Jack  were  the 
only  two  serviceable  midshipmen,  and  he  was  afraid  to 
trust  them  on  any  expedition  in  which  expedition  was 
required. 

"  What  shall  we  do,  Sawbridge .?  shall  we  send  Easy 
or  Gascoigne,  or  both,  or  neither  i* — for  if  the  bullocks 
are  not  forthcoming,  the  admiral  will  not  let  them  off  as 
we  do." 

**We  must  send  somebody,  Wilson,"  replied  Captain 
Sawbridge,  "  and  it  is  the  custom  to  send  two  officers,  as 
one  receives  the  bullocks  on  board,  while  the  other  attends 
to  the  embarkation." 

"Well,  then  send  both,  Sawbridge,  but  lecture  them 
well  first." 

**  I  don't  think  they  can  get  into  any  mischief  there," 
replied  Sawbridge ;  "  and  it's  such  a  hole  that  they  will 
be  glad  to  get  away  from  it." 

Easy  and  Gascoigne  were  summoned,  listened  very 
respectfully  to  all  Captain  Sawbridge  said,  promised  to 
conduct  themselves  with  the  utmost  propriety,  received 
a  letter  to  the  vice-consul,  and  were  sent  with  their  ham- 
mocks and  chests  in  the  cabin  on  board  the  Eliza  Ami, 
brig,  of  two  hundred  and  sixteen  tons,  chartered  by 
government — the  master  and  crew  of  which  were  all  busy 
forward  heaving  up  their  anchors. 

The  master  of  the  transport  came  aft  to  receive  them : 
he  was  a  short,  red-haired  young  man,  with  hands  as  broad 
as  the  flappers  of  a  turtle ;  he  was  broad-faced,  broad- 
shouldered,  well  freckled,  and  pug-nosed ;  but  if  not  very 
handsome  he  was  remarkably  good-humoured.  As  soon 
as  the  chests  and  hammocks  were  on  deck,  he  told  them 
that  when  he  could  get  the  anchor  up  and  make  sail,  he 
would  give  them  some  bottled  porter.     Jack  proposed  that 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  229 

he  should  get  the  porter  up,  and  they  would  drink  it  while 
he  got  the  anchor  up,  as  it  would  save  time. 

"  It  may  save  time,  mayhap,  but  it  won't  save  porter," 
replied  the  master ;  "  however,  you  shall  have  it." 

He  called  the  boy,  ordered  him  to  bring  up  the  porter, 
and  then  went  forward.  Jack  made  the  boy  bring  up  two 
chairs,  put  the  porter  on  the  companion  hatch,  and  he  and 
Gascoigne  sat  down.  The  anchor  was  weighed,  and  the 
transport  ran  out  under  her  foretopsail,  as  they  were  light- 
handed,  and  had  to  secure  the  anchor.  The  transport 
passed  within  ten  yards  of  the  Harpy,  and  Captain  Saw- 
bridge,  when  he  perceived  the  two  midshipmen  taking  it 
so  very  easy,  sitting  in  their  chairs  with  their  legs  crossed, 
arms  folded,  and  their  porter  before  them,  had  a  very  great 
mind  to  order  the  transport  to  heave-to,  but  he  could  spare 
no  other  officer,  so  he  walked  away,  saying  to  himself, 
^*  There'llbe  another  yarn  for  the  governor,  or  I'm  mistaken." 

As  soon  as  sail  was  made  on  the  transport,  the  master, 
whose  name  was  Hogg,  came  up  to  our  hero,  and  asked 
him  how  he  found  the  porter.  Jack  declared  that  he  never 
could  venture  an  opinion  upon  the  first  bottle — "  So, 
Captain  Hogg,  we'll  trouble  you  for  a  second " — after 
which  they  troubled  him  for  a  third — begged  for  a  fourth 
— must  drink  his  health  in  a  fifth — and  finally  pointed  out 
the  propriety  of  making  up  the  half-dozen.  By  this  time 
they  found  themselves  rather  light-headed ;  so,  desiring 
Captain  Hogg  to  keep  a  sharp  look-out,  and  not  to  call 
them  on  any  account  whatever,  they  retired  to  their 
hammocks. 

The  next  morning  they  awoke  late ;  the  breeze  was 
fresh  and  fair :  they  requested  Captain  Hogg  not  to  con- 
sider the  expense,  as  they  would  pay  for  all  they  ate  and 
drank,  and  all  he  did,  into  the  bargain,  and  promised  him 
a  fit-out  when  they  got  to  Tetuan. 

What  with  this  promise  and  calling  him  captain,  our 
hero  and  Gascoigne  won  the  master's  heart,  and  being 
a  very  good  tempered  fellow,  they  did  what  they  pleased. 
Jack  also  tossed  a  doubloon  to  the  men  for  them  to  drink 


1^0  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

on  their  arrival,  and  all  the  men  of  the  transport  were  in 
a  transport  at  Jack's  coming  to  "  reign  over  them."  It 
must  be  acknowledged  that  Jack's  reign  was,  for  the  most 
part  of  it,  *'  happy  and  glorious."  At  last  they  arrived  at 
Tetuan,  and  our  Pylades  and  Orestes  went  on  shore  to 
call  upon  the  vice-consul,  accompanied  by  Captain  Hogg. 
They  produced  their  credentials,  and  demanded  bullocks. 
The  vice-consul  was  a  very  young  man,  short  and  thin, 
and  light-haired ;  his  father  had  held  the  situation  before 
him,  and  he  had  been  appointed  his  successor  because 
nobody  else  had  thought  the  situation  worth  applying  for. 
Nevertheless,  Mr  Hicks  was  impressed  with  the  immense 
responsibility  of  his  office.  It  was,  however,  a  place  of 
som.e  little  emolument  at  this  moment,  and  Mr  Hicks  had 
plenty  on  his  hands  besides  his  sister,  who,  being  the  only 
English  lady  there,  set  the  fashion  of  the  place,  and  usurped 
all  the  attention  of  the  gentlemen  mariners  who  occasionally 
came  for  bullocks.  But  Miss  Hicks  knew  her  own  im- 
portance, and  had  successively  refused  three  midshipmen, 
one  master's  mate,  and  an  acting  purser.  African  bullocks 
were  plentiful  at  Tetuan,  but  English  ladies  were  scarce ; 
moreover,  she  had  a  pretty  little  fortune  of  her  own,  to 
wit,  three  hundred  dollars  in  a  canvas  bag,  left  her  by  her 
father,  and  entirely  at  her  own  disposal.  Miss  Hicks  was 
very  like  her  brother,  except  that  she  was  more  dumpling 
in  her  figure,  with  flaxen  hair ;  her  features  were  rather 
pretty,  and  her  skin  very  fair.  As  soon  as  the  pre- 
liminaries had  been  entered  into,  and  arrangements  made 
in  a  small  room  with  bare  walls,  which  Mr  Hicks  de- 
nominated his  office,  they  were  asked  to  walk  into  the 
parlour  to  be  introduced  to  the  vice-consul's  sister.  Miss 
Hicks  tossed  her  head  at  the  two  midshipmen,  but  smiled 
most  graciously  at  Captain  Hogg.  She  knew  the  relative 
ranks  of  midshipman  and  captain.  After  a  short  time  she 
requested  the  honour  of  Captain  Hogg's  company  to 
dinner,  and  begged  that  he  would  bring  his  midshipmen 
with  him,  at  which  Jack  and  Gascoigne  looked  at  each 
other  and  burst  out  in  a  laugh,  and  Miss  Hicks  was  very 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  231 

near  rescinding  the  latter  part  of  her  invitation.  As  soon 
as  they  were  out  of  the  house,  they  told  the  captain  to  go 
on  board  and  get  all  ready  whilst  they  walked  round  the 
town.  Having  peeped  into  every  part  of  it,  and  stared  at 
Arabs,  Moors,  and  Jews,  till  they  were  tired,  they  pro- 
ceeded to  the  landing-place,  where  they  met  the  captain, 
who  informed  them  that  he  had  done  nothing,  because  the 
men  were  all  drunk  with  Jack's  doubloon.  Jack  replied 
that  a  doubloon  would  not  last  for  ever,  and  that  the 
sooner  they  drank  it  out  the  better.  They  then  returned 
to  the  vice-consul's,  whom  they  requested  to  procure  for 
them  fifty  dozen  of  fowls,  twenty  sheep,  and  a  great  many 
other  articles  which  might  be  obtained  at  the  place  ;  for, 
as  Jack  said,  they  would  live  well  going  up  to  Toulon, 
and  if  there  were  any  of  the  stock  left  they  would  give 
them  to  the  admiral,  for  Jack  had  taken  the  precaution  to 
put  his  father's  philosophy  once  more  to  the  proof  before  he 
quitted  Mahon.  As  Jack  gave  such  a  liberal  order,  and 
the  vice-consul  cheated  him  out  of  at  least  one-third  of 
what  he  paid,  Mr  Hicks  thought  he  could  do  no  less  than 
offer  beds  to  our  midshipmen  as  well  as  to  Captain  Hogg ; 
so,  as  soon  as  dinner  was  over,  they  ordered  Captain  Hogg 
to  go  on  board  and  bring  their  things  on  shore,  which  he 
did.  As  the  time  usual  for  transports  remaining  at  Tetuan 
before  they  could  be  completed  with  bullocks  was  three 
weeks,  our  midshipmen  decided  upon  staying  at  least  so 
long  if  they  could  find  anything  to  do ;  or  if  they  could 
not,  doing  nothing  was  infinitely  preferable  to  doing  duty. 
So  they  took  up  their  quarters  at  the  vice-consul's,  sending 
for  porter  and  other  things  which  were  not  to  be  had  but 
from  the  transport ;  and  Jack,  to  prove  that  he  was  not  a 
swindler,  as  Captain  Tartar  had  called  him,  gave  Captain 
Hogg  a  hundred  dollars  on  account,  for  Captain  Hogg  had 
a  large  stock  of  porter  and  English  luxuries,  which  he 
had  brought  out  as  a  venture,  and  of  which  he  had  still  a 
considerable  portion  left.  As,  therefore,  our  midshipmen 
not  only  were  cheated  by  the  vice-consul,  but  they  also 
supplied  his  table,   Mr  Hicks  w-as  very  hospitable,  and 


232  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

everything  was  at  their  service  except  Miss  Julia,  who 
turned  up  her  nose  at  a  midshipman,  even  upon  full  pay  j 
but  she  made  great  advances  to  the  captain,  who,  on  his 
part,  was  desperately  in  love :  so  the  mate  and  the  men 
made  all  ready  for  the  bullocks,  Jack  and  Gascoigne  made 
themselves  comfortable,  and  Captain  Hogg  made  love,  and 
thus  passed  the  first  week. 

The  chamber  of  Easy  and  Gascoigne  was  at  the  top  of 
the  house,  and  finding  it  excessively  warm,  Gascoigne 
had  forced  his  way  up  to  the  flat  roof  above  (for  the 
houses  are  all  built  in  that  way  in  most  Mahomedan 
countries,  to  enable  the  occupants  to  enjoy  the  cool  of  the 
evening,  and  sometimes  to  sleep  there).  Those  roofs, 
where  houses  are  built  next  to  each  other,  are  divided  by 
a  wall  of  several  feet,  to  insure  that  privacy  which  the 
Mahomedan  customs  demand. 

Gascoigne  had  not  been  long  up  there  before  he  heard 
the  voice  of  a  female,  singing  a  plaintive  air  in  a  low 
tone,  on  the  other  side  of  the  wall.  Gascoigne  sang 
well  himself,  and  having  a  very  fine  ear,  he  was  pleased 
with  the  correctness  of  the  notes,  although  he  had  never 
heard  the  air  before.  He  leant  against  the  wall,  smoked 
his  cigar,  and  listened.  It  was  repeated  again  and  again 
at  intervals  j  Gascoigne  soon  caught  the  notes,  which 
sounded  so  clear  and  pure  in  the  silence  of  the  night. 

At  last  they  ceased,  and  having  waited  another  half-hour 
in  vain,  our  midshipman  returned  to  his  bed,  humming  the 
air  which  had  so  pleased  his  ear.  It  haunted  him  during 
his  sleep,  and  rang  in  his  ears  when  he  awoke,  as  it  is 
well  known  any  new  air  that  pleases  us  will  do.  Before 
breakfast  was  ready,  Gascoigne  had  put  English  words 
to  it,  and  sang  them  over  and  over  again.  He  inquired 
of  the  vice-consul  who  lived  in  the  next  house,  and  was 
answered,  that  it  was  an  old  Moor,  who  was  reported  to 
be  wealthy,  and  to  have  a  daughter,  whom  many  of  the 
people  had  asked  in  marriage,  but  whether  for  her  wealth 
or  for  her  beauty  he  could  not  tell ;  he  had,  however,  heard 
that  she  was  very  handsome.     Gascoigne  made  no  further 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  233 

inquiries,  but  went  out  with  Jack  and  Captain  Hogg,  and 
on  board  to  see  the  water  got  in  for  the  bullocks. 

**  Where  did  you  pick  up  that  air,  Gascoigne  ?  It  is 
very  pretty,  but  I  never  heard  you  sing  it  before." 

Gascoigne  told  him,  and  also  what  he  had  heard  from 
Mr  Hicks. 

"  I  am  determined.  Jack,  to  see  that  girl  if  I  can. 
Hicks  can  talk  Arabic  fast  enough ;  just  ask  him  the 
Arabic  for  these  words — *  Don't  be  afraid — I  love  you — 
I  cannot  speak  your  tongue,' — and  put  them  down  on 
paper  as  they  are  pronounced." 

Jack  rallied  Gascoigne  upon  his  fancy,  which  could  end 
in  nothing. 

"  Perhaps  not,"  replied  Gascoigne ';  **  and  I  should 
have  cared  nothing  about  it,  if  she  had  not  sung  so  well. 
I  really  believe  the  way  to  my  heart  is  through  my  ear  j 
— however,  I  shall  try  to-night,  and  soon  find  if  she  has 
the  feeling  which  I  think  she  has.  Now  let  us  go  back  ; 
I'm  tired  of  looking  at  women  in  garments  up  to  their 
€yes,  and  men  in  dirt  up  to  their  foreheads." 

As  they  entered  the  house  they  heard  an  altercation 
between  Mr  and  Miss  Hicks. 

*'  I  shall  never  give  my  consent,  Julia ;  one  of  those 
midshipmen  you  turn  your  nose  up  at  is  worth  a  dozen 
Hoggs." 

"  Now,  if  we  only  knew  the  price  of  a  hog  in  this 
country,"  observed  Easy,  '*  we  should  be  able  to  calculate 
our  exact  value,  Ned." 

"  A  hog,  being  an  unclean  animal,  is  not " 

"  Hush,"  said  Jack. 

"  Mr  Hicks,"  replied  Miss  Julia,  **  I  am  mistress  of 
myself  and  my  fortune,  and  I  shall  do  as  I  please." 

*'  Depend  upon  it,  you  shall  not,  Julia.  I  consider  it 
my  duty  to  prevent  you  from  making  an  improper  match  j 
and,  as  his  Majesty's  representative  here,  I  cannot  allow 
you  to  marry  this  young  man." 

"  Mercy  on  us ! "  said  Gascoigne,  "  his  Majesty's 
representative !  " 


234  ^^  Midshipman  Easy 

"  I  shall  not  ask  your  consent,"  replied  the  lady. 

"  Yes,  but  you  shall  not  marry  without  my  consent. 
I  have,  as  you  know,  Julia,  from  my  situation  here,  as 
one  of  his  Majesty's  ^  corps  diplomatick,^  great  power,  and 
I  shall  forbid  the  banns ;  in  fact,  it  is  only  I  who  can 
marry  you." 

"  Then  I'll  marry  elsewhere." 

**And  what  will  you  do  on  board  of  the  transport  until 
you  are  able  to  be  married  ? " 

"  I  shall  do  as  I  think  proper,"  replied  the  lady  ;  "  and 
I'll  thank  you  for  none  of  your  indelicate  insinuations." 
So  saying,  the  lady  bounced  out  of  the  room  into  her 
own,  and  our  midshipmen  then  made  a  noise  in  the  passage 
to  intimate  that  they  had  come  in.  They  found  Mr  Hicks 
looking  very  red  and  vice-consular  indeed,  but  he  re- 
covered himself;  and  Captain  Hogg  making  his  appear- 
ance, they  went  to  dinner ;  but  Miss  Julia  would  not 
make  her  appearance,  and  Mr  Hicks  was  barely  civil  to 
the  captain,  but  he  was  soon  afterwards  called  out,  and 
our  midshipmen  went  into  the  office  to  enable  the  two 
lovers  to  meet.  They  were  heard  then  talking  together, 
and  after  a  time  they  said  less,  and  their  language  was 
more  tender. 

"  Let  us  see  what's  going  on.  Jack,"  said  Gascoigne  ; 
and  they  walked  softly,  so  as  to  perceive  the  two  lovers, 
who  were  too  busy  to  be  on  the  look-out. 

Captain  Hogg  was  requesting  a  lock  of  his  mistress's 
hair.  The  plump  Julia  could  deny  him  nothing  j  she  let 
fall  her  flaxen  tresses,  and  taking  out  the  scissors  cut  off  a 
thick  bunch  from  her  hair  behind,  which  she  presented  to 
the  captain ;  it  was  at  least  a  foot  and  a  half  long,  and  an 
inch  in  circumference.  The  captain  took  it  in  his  immense 
hand,  and  thrust  it  into  his  coat-pocket  behind,  but  one 
thrust  down  to  the  bottom  would  not  get  it  in,  so  he 
thrust  again  and  again  until  it  was  all  coiled  away  like  a 
cable  in  a  tier. 

"  That's  a  liberal  girl,"  whispered  Jack,  "  she  gives  by 
•wholesale  what  it  will  take  some  time  to  retail.     But  here 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  235 

comes  Mr  Hicks,  let's  give  them  warning ;  I  like  Hogg, 
and  as  she  fancies  pork,  she  shall  have  it,  if  I  can  contrive 
to  help  them." 

That  night  Gascoigne  went  again  on  the  roof,  and  after 
waiting  some  time  heard  the  same  air  repeated :  he  waited 
until  it  was  concluded,  and  then,  in  a  very  low  tone,  sung 
it  himself  to  the  words  he  had  arranged  for  it.  For  some 
time  all  was  silent,  and  then  the  singing  recommenced, 
but  it  was  not  to  the  same  air.  Gascoigne  waited  until 
the  new  air  had  been  repeated  several  times,  and  then, 
giving  full  scope  to  his  fine  tenor  voice,  sang  the  first  air 
again.  It  echoed  through  the  silence  of  the  night  air,  and 
then  he  waited,  but  in  vain  ;  the  soft  voice  of  the  female 
was  heard  no  more,  and  Gascoigne  retired  to  rest. 

This  continued  for  three  or  four  nights,  Gascoigne 
singing  the  same  airs  the  ensuing  night  that  he  had  heard 
the  preceding,  until  at  last  it  appeared  that  the  female  had 
no  longer  any  fear,  but  changed  the  airs  so  as  to  be  amused 
with  the  repetition  of  them  next  evening.  On  the  fifth 
night  she  sang  the  first  air,  and  our  midshipman  respond- 
ing, she  then  sang  another,  until  she  had  sung  them  all, 
waiting  each  time  for  the  response.  The  wall  was  not 
more  than  eight  feet  high,  and  Gascoigne  now  determined, 
with  the  assistance  of  Jack,  to  have  a  sight  of  his  unknown 
songstress.  He  asked  Captain  Hogg  to  bring  on  shore 
some  inch  line,  and  he  contrived  to  make  a  ladder  with 
three  or  four  poles  which  were  upstairs,  used  for  drying 
linen.  He  fixed  them  against  the  wall  without  noise, 
all  ready  for  the  evening.  It  was  a  beautiful,  clear  moon- 
light night,  when  he  went  up,  accompanied  by  Jack.  The 
air  was  again  sung,  and  repeated  by  Gascoigne,  who  then 
softly  mounted  the  ladder,  held  by  Jack,  and  raised  his 
head  above  the  wall ;  he  perceived  a  young  Moorish  girl, 
splendidly  dressed,  half-lying  on  an  ottoman,  with  her  eyes 
fixed  upon  the  moon,  whose  rays  enabled  him  to  observe 
that  she  was  indeed  beautiful.  She  appeared  lost  in 
contemplation  5  and  Gascoigne  would  have  given  the 
world  to  have  divined  her  thoughts.     Satisfied  with  what 


236  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

he  had  seen,  he  descended,  and  singing  one  of  the 
airs,  he  then  repeated  the  words,  "Do  not  be  afraid — I 
love  you — I  cannot  speak  your  language."  He  then  sang 
another  of  the  airs,  and  after  he  had  finished  he  again 
repeated  the  words  in  Arabic ;  but  there  was  no  reply. 
He  sang  the  third  air,  and  again  repeated  the  words,  when, 
to  his  delight,  he  heard  an  answer  in  Lingua  Franca. 

"  Can  you  speak  in  this  tongue  ? " 

"Yes,"  replied  Gascoigne,  "I  can,  Allah  be  praised! 
Be  not  afraid — I  love  you." 

**  I  know  you  not ;  who  are  you  ?  you  are  not  of  my 
people." 

"  No,  but  I  will  be  anything  that  you  wish.  I  am  a 
Frank,  and  an  English  officer." 

At  this  reply  of  Gascoigne  there  was  a  pause. 

"  Am  I  then  despised  ?  "  said  Gascoigne. 

"No,  not  despised;  but  you  are  not  of  my  people, 
or  of  my  land ;  speak  no  more,  or  you  will  be  heard." 

"I  obey,"  replied  Gascoigne,  "since  you  wish  it ;  but 
I  shall  pine  till  to-morrow's  moon.  I  go  to  dream  of  you. 
Allah  protect  you  !  " 

"  How  amazingly  poetical  you  were  in  your  language, 
Ned,"  said  Easy,  when  they  went  down  \  into  their 
room. 

"  To  be  sure,  Jack,  I've  read  the  Arabian  Nights.  You 
never  saw  such  eyes  in  your  life  ;  what  a  houri  she  is  !  " 

"Is  she  as  handsome  as  Agnes,  Ned  .'' " 

"  Twice  as  handsome  by  moonlight." 

"  That's  all  moonshine,  and  so  will  be  your  courting,  for 
it  will  come  to  nothing." 

"  Not  if  I  can  help  it." 

"  Why,  Gascoigne,  what  would  you  do  with  a  wife  ?  " 

"  Just  exactly  what  you  would  do.  Jack." 

"  I  mean,  my  dear  Ned,  can  you  afford  to  marry  ? " 

"  Not  while  the  old  governor  lives,  but  I  know  he  has 
some  money  in  the  funds.  He  told  me  one  day  that  I 
could  not  expect  more  than  three  thousand  pounds.  You 
know  I  have  sisters." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  237 

"  And  before  you  come  into  that  you'll  have  three 
thousand  children." 

"  That's  a  large  family,  Jack,"  replied  Gascoigne, 
bursting  out  into  laughter,  in  which  our  hero  joined. 

"Well,  you  know  I  only  wanted  to  argue  the  point 
with  you." 

**  I  know  that,  Jack.  But  I  think  we're  counting  our 
chickens  before  they  are  hatched,  which  is  foolish." 

"  In  every  other  case  except  when  we  venture  upon 
matrimony." 

"  Why,  Jack,  you're  becoming  quite  sensible." 

"  My  wisdom  is  for  my  friends,  my  folly  for  myself. 
Good-night." 

But  Jack  did  not  go  to  sleep. 

*'  I  must  not  allow  Gascoigne  to  do  such  a  foolish 
thing,"  thought  he.  "  Marry  a  dark  girl  on  midshipman's 
pay,  if  he  succeeds — get  his  throat  cut  if  he  does  not." 

As  Jack  said,  his  wisdom  was  for  his  friends,  and  he 
was  so  generous  that  he  reserved  none  for  his  own 
occasions. 

Miss  Julia  Hicks,  as  we  before  observed,  set  the  fashions 
at  Tetuan,  and  her  style  of  dress  was  not  unbecoming. 
The  Moorish  women  wore  large  veils,  or  they  may  be 
called  what  you  will,  for  their  head-dresses  descend  to 
their  heels  at  times  and  cover  the  whole  body,  leaving 
an  eye  to  peep  with,  and  hiding  everything  else.  Now 
Miss  found  this  much  more  convenient  than  the  bonnet, 
as  she  might  walk  out  in  the  heat  of  the  sun  without 
burning  her  fair  skin,  and  stare  at  everybody  and  every- 
thing without  being  stared  at  in  return.  She  therefore 
never  went  out  without  one  of  these  overalls,  composed 
of  several  yards  of  fine  muslin.  Her  dress  in  the  house 
was  usually  of  coloured  sarcenet,  for  a  small  vessel  came 
into  the  port  one  day  during  her  father's  lifetime,  unloaded 
a  great  quantity  of  bales  of  goods  with  English  marks, 
and,  as  the  vessel  had  gone  out  in  ballast,  there  was  a 
surmise  on  his  part  by  what  means  they  came  into  the 
captain's  possession.     He  therefore  cited  the  captain  up 


238  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

to  the  governor,  but  the  affair  was  amicably  arranged 
by  the  vice-consul  receiving  about  one  quarter  of  the 
cargo  in  bales  of  silks  and  muslins.  Miss  Hicks  had 
therefore  all  her  dresses  of  blue,  green,  and  yellow- 
sarcenet,  which,  with  the  white  muslin  overall,  made 
her  as  conspicuous  as  the  only  Prankish  lady  in  the  town 
had  a  right  to  be,  and  there  was  not  a  dog  which  barked 
in  Tetuan  which  did  not  know  the  sister  of  the  vice- 
consul,  although  few  had  seen  her  face. 

Now  it  occurred  to  Jack,  as  Gascoigne  was  determined 
to  carry  on  his  amour,  that  in  case  of  surprise  it  would 
be  as  well  if  he  dressed  himself  as  Miss  Hicks.  He 
proposed  it  to  Gascoigne  the  next  morning,  who  approved 
of  the  idea,  and  in  the  course  of  the  day,  when  Miss 
Hicks  was  busy  with  Captain  Hogg,  he  contrived  to 
abstract  one  of  her  dresses  and  muslin  overalls,  which 
he  could  do  in  safety,  as  there  were  plenty  of  them, 
for  Miss  Hicks  was  not  troubled  with  mantua-makers' 
bills. 

When  Gascoigne  went  up  on  the  roof  the  ensuing 
night,  he  put  on  the  apparel  of  Miss  Hicks,  and  looked 
very  like  her  as  far  as  figure  went,  although  a  little 
taller.  He  waited  for  the  Moorish  girl  to  sing,  but  she 
did  not ;  so  he  crept  up  the  ladder  and  looked  over  the 
wall,  when  he  observed  that  she  was  reclining  as  before 
in  deep  thought.  His  head,  covered  with  the  muslin, 
caught  her  eye,  and  she  gave  a  faint  scream. 

**  Fear  not,  lady,"  said  Gascoigne,  "  it  is  not  the  first 
time  that  I  have  beheld  that  sweet  face.  I  sigh  for  a 
companion.  What  would  I  not  give  to  be  sitting  by 
your  side !  I  am  not  of  your  creed,  'tis  true,  but  does 
it  therefore  follow  that  we  should  not  love  each  other  ? " 

The  Moorish  girl  was  about  to  reply,  when  Gascoigne 
received  an  answer  from  a  quarter  whence  he  little  ex- 
pected it.  It  was  from  the  Moor  himself,  who,  hearing 
his  daughter's  scream,  had  come  swiftly  up  to  the  roof. 

"  Does  the  Prankish  lily  wish  to  mingle  her  perfumes 
with  the  dark  violet  ? "  said  he ;    for  he  had  often  seen 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  239 

the  sister  ot  the  vice-consul,  and  he  imagined  it  was  she 
who  had  come  on  the  roof  and  ascended  the  wall  to  speak 
with  his  daughter. 

Gascoigne  had  presence  of  mind  to  avail  himself  of  this 
fortunate  mistake. 

"I  am  alone,  worthy  Moor,"  replied  he,  pulling  the 
muslin  over  his  face,  *'  and  I  pine  for  a  companion.  I 
have  been  charmed  by  the  nightingale  on  the  roof  of 
your  dwelling;  but  I  thought  not  to  meet  the  face  of 
a  man  when  I  took  courage  to  climb  this  ladder." 

"  If  the  Prankish  lily  will  have  courage  to  descend,  she 
can  sit  by  the  side  of  the  dark  violet." 

Gascoigne  thought  it  advisable  to  make  no  reply. 

**  Fear  not,"  said  the  old  Moor ;  "  what  is  an  old  man 
but  a  woman  !  "  and  the  Moor  brought  a  ladder,  which  he 
placed  against  the  wall. 

After  a  pause  Gascoigne  said,  "  It  is  my  fate ; "  and  he 
then  descended,  and  was  led  by  the  Moor  to  the  mattress 
upon  which  his  daughter  reclined.  The  Moor  then  took 
his  seat  near  them,  and  they  entered  into  conversation. 
Gascoigne  knew  quite  enough  of  the  vice-consul  and  his 
sister  to  play  his  part,  and  he  thought  proper  to  tell 
the  Moor  that  her  brother  wished  to  give  her  as  wife  to 
the  captain  of  the  ship,  whom  she  abhorred,  and  would 
take  her  to  a  cold  and  foggy  climate ;  that  she  had  been 
born  here,  and  wished  to  live  and  die  here,  and  would 
prefer  passing  her  life  in  his  women's  apartments  to  leaving 
this  country.  At  which,  Abdel  Faza,  for  such  was  his 
name,  felt  very  amorous.  He  put  his  hand  to  his  forehead, 
salaamed,  and  told  Gascoigne  that  his  zenana,  and  all  that 
were  in  it,  were  hers,  as  well  as  his  house  and  himself. 
After  an  hour's  conversation,  in  which  Azar,  his  daughter, 
did  not  join,  the  old  Moor  asked  Gascoigne  to  descend 
into  the  women's  apartment ;  and  observing  his  daughter's 
silence,  said  to  her — 

"  Azar,  you  are  angry  that  this  Frankish  houri  should 
come  to  the  apartments  of  which  you  have  hitherto  been 
sole  mistress.     Fear  not,  you  will  soon  be  another's,  for 


240  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

Osman  Ali  has  asked  thee  for  his  wife,  and  I  have  listened 
to  his  request." 

Now  Osman  Ali  was  as  old  as  her  father,  and  Azar 
hated  him.  She  offered  her  hand  tremblingly,  and  led 
Gascoigne  into  the  zenana.  The  Moor  attended  them  to 
the  threshold,  bowed,  and  left  them. 

That  Gascoigne  had  time  to  press  his  suit,  and  that  he 
did  not  lose  such  a  golden  opportunity,  may  easily  be 
imagined,  and  her  father's  communication  relative  to 
Osman  Ali  very  much  assisted  our  midshipman's  cause. 

He  left  the  zenana,  like  most  midshipmen,  in  love  ;  that 
is,  a  little  above  quicksilver  boiling  heat.  Jack,  who  had 
remained  in  a  state  of  some  suspense  all  this  time,  was  not 
sorry  to  hear  voices  in  an  amicable  tone,  and  in  a  few 
minutes  afterwaards  he  perceived  that  Gascoigne  was 
ascending  the  ladder.  It  occurred  to  our  hero  that  it  was 
perhaps  advisable  that  he  should  not  be  seen,  as  the  Moor 
in  his  gallantry  might  come  up  the  ladder  with  his  supposed 
lady.  He  was  right,  for  Abdel  Faza  not  only  followed 
her  up  the  ladder  on  his  side  but  assisted  her  to  descend 
on  the  other,  and  with  great  ceremony  took  his  leave. 

Gascoigne  hastened  to  Jack,  who  had  been  peeping,  and 
gave  him  a  detail  of  what  had  passed,  describing  Azar  as 
the  most  beautiful,  fascinating,  and  fond  creature  that  ever 
was  created.  After  half  an  hour's  relation  he  stopped 
short,  because  he  discovered  that  Jack  was  fast  asleep. 

The  visits  of  Gascoigne  were  repeated  every  night ;  old 
Abdel  Faza  became  every  time  more  gallant,  and  our 
midshipman  was  under  the  necessity  of  assuming  a  virtue 
if  he  had  it  not.     He  pretended  to  be  very  modest. 

In  the  meantime  Captain  Hogg  continued  his  attentions 
to  the  real  Miss  Hicks.  The  mate  proceeded  to  get  the 
bullocks  on  board,  and  as  more  than  three  weeks  had 
already  passed  away,  it  was  time  to  think  of  departing  for 
Toulon ;  but  Captain  Hogg  was  too  much  in  love  ;  and  as 
for  Gascoigne,  he  intended,  like  all  midshipmen  in  love,  to 
give  up  the  service.  Jack  reasoned  with  the  captain,  who 
appeared   to   listen   to   reason,  because   Miss   Hicks  had 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  241 

agreed  to  follow  his  fortunes,  and  crown  his  transports  in 
the  transport  Mary  Ann.  He  therefore  proposed  that 
they  should  get  away  as  fast  as  they  could,  and  as  soon  as 
they  had  weighed  the  anchor  he  would  come  on  shore,  take 
off  Miss  Hicks,  and  make  all  sail  for  Toulon. 

Jack  might  have  suffered  this ;  the  difficulty  was  with 
Gascoigne,  who  would  not  hear  of  going  away  without 
his  lovely  Azar.  At  last  Jack  planned  a  scheme  which  he 
thought  would  succeed,  and  which  would  be  a  good  joke 
to  tell  the  governor.  He  therefore  appeared  to  consent  to 
Gascoigne's  carrying  off  his  little  Moor,  and  they  canvassed 
how  it  was  to  be  managed.  Jack  then  told  Gascoigne 
that  he  had  hit  upon  a  plan  which  would  succeed.  "  I 
find,"  said  he,  "  from  Captain  Hogg,  that  he  has  an 
intention  of  carrying  off  Miss  Hicks,  and  when  I  sounded 
him  as  to  his  having  a  lady  with  him,  he  objected  to  it  im- 
mediately, saying,  that  he  must  have  all  the  cabin  to  him- 
self and  his  intended.  Now,  in  the  first  place,  I  have  no 
notion  of  giving  up  the  cabin  to  Miss  Hicks  or  Mrs  Hogg. 
It  will  be  very  uncomfortable  to  be  shut  out,  because  he 
wishes  to  make  love ;  I  therefore  am  determined  that  he 
shall  not  take  off  Miss  Hicks.  He  has  proposed  to  me 
that  he  shall  go  on  board,  and  get  the  brig  under  way, 
leaving  me  with  a  boat  on  shore  to  sign  the  vouchers,  and 
that  Miss  Hicks  shall  slip  into  the  boat  when  I  go  off 
at  dusk.  Now  I  will  not  bring  off  Miss  Hicks ;  if  he 
wants  to  marry  her,  let  him  do  it  when  I  am  not  on  board. 
I  have  paid  for  everything,  and  I  consider  the  cabin  as 
mine. 

*'  Look  you,  Ned,  if  you  wish  to  carry  off  your  little 
Moor,  there  is  but  one  way,  and  that  is  a  very  simple  one ; 
leave  her  a  dress  of  Miss  Hicks's  when  you  go  there  to- 
morrow night,  and  tell  her  to  slip  down  at  dusk,  and  come 
out  of  the  house  :  all  the  danger  will  be  in  her  own  house, 
for  as  soon  as  she  is  out,  she  will  be  supposed  to  be  the 
vice-consul's  sister,  and  will  not  be  observed  or  questioned 
I  will  look  out  for  and  bring  her  on  board  instead  of  Miss 
Hicks.  Hogg  will  have  the  brig  under  way,  and  will  be 
E  Q 


242  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

too  happy  to  make  all  sail,  and  she  shall  lock  the  cabin 
inside,  so  that  the  mistake  shall  not  be  discovered  till  the 
next  morning,  and  we  shall  have  a  good  laugh  at  Captain 
Hogg." 

Gascoigne  pronounced  that  Jack's  scheme  was  capital, 
and  agreed  to  it,  thanking  him,  and  declaring  that  he  was 
the  best  friend  that  he  ever  had.  "  So  I  will  be,"  thought 
Jack,  "  but  you  will  not  acknowledge  it  at  first."  Jack 
then  went  to  Captain  Hogg,  and  appeared  to  enter  warmly 
into  his  views,  but  told  him  that  Hicks  suspected  what 
was  going  on,  and  had  told  him  so,  at  the  same  time 
declaring  that  he  would  not  lose  sight  of  his  sister  until 
after  Hogg  was  on  board. 

"Now,"  says  Jack,  "you  know  you  cannot  do  the  thing 
by  main  force  ;  so  the  best  plan  will  be  for  you  to  go  on 
board  and  get  under  way,  leaving  me  to  bring  off  Miss 
Hicks,  when  her  brother  will  imagine  all  danger  to  be  over." 
"  Many  thanks,  Mr  Easy,"  replied  Captain  Hogg  ;  "  it 
will  be  capital,  and  I'll  arrange  it  all  with  my  Sophy. 
How  very  kind  of  you  !  " 

"But,  Hogg,  will  you  promise  me  secrecy  ?" 
"  Yes,"  replied  the  captain. 

"That  Gascoigne  is  a  very  silly  fellow,  and  wants  to 
run  away  with  a  girl  he  has  made  acquaintance  with  here ; 
and  what  do  you  think  he  has  proposed  ?  that  after  the 
ship  was  under  way,  that  I  shall  carry  her  off  in  the  boat  j 
and  he  has  borrowed  one  of  the  dresses  of  Miss  Hicks, 
that  it  may  appear  to  be  her.  I  have  agreed  to  it,  but  as  I 
am  determined  that  he  shall  not  commit  such  a  folly,  I  shall 
bring  off  Miss  Hicks  instead  j  and,  observe,  Hogg,  he  is 
that  sort  of  wild  fellow,  that  if  he  was  to  find  that  I  had 
cheated  him,  he  would  immediately  go  on  shore  and  be 
left  behind  j  therefore  we  must  hand  Miss  Hicks  down  in 
the  cabin,  and  she  will  lock  the  door  all  night,  so  that  he 
may  not  observe  the  trick  till  the  next  morning,  and  then 
we  shall  have  a  fine  laugh  at  him." 

Captain  Hogg  replied  it  would  be  an  excellent  joke,  as 
Gascoigne  did  before  him. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  243 

Now  it  must  be  observed,  that  the  water  and  the 
bullocks,  and  the  sheep  and  fowls,  were  all  on  board ;  and 
Mr  Hicks,  having  received  his  money  from  Jack,  had  very 
much  altered  his  manner ;  he  was  barely  civil,  for  as  he 
had  got  all  he  could  out  of  our  hero,  he  was  anxious  to 
get  rid  of  him  as  well  as  of  Captain  Hogg.  Our  hero  was 
very  indignant  at  this,  but  as  it  would  not  suit  his  present 
views,  pretended  not  to  notice  it — on  the  contrary,  he 
professed  the  warmest  friendship  for  the  vice-consul,  and 
took  an  opportunity  of  saying  that  he  could  not  return  his 
kindness  in  a  better  way  than  by  informing  him  of  the  plot 
which  had  been  arranged.  He  then  told  him  of  the 
intended  escape  of  his  sister,  and  that  he  was  the  person 
intended  to  bring  her  off. 

"  Infamous,  by  heavens  !  "  cried  the  vice-consul ;  "I 
shall  write  to  the  foreign  office  on  the  subject." 

"I  think,"  said  Jack,  "it  will  be  much  better  to  do 
what  I  shall  propose,  which  will  end  in  a  hearty  laugh,  and 
to  the  confusion  of  Captain  Hogg.  Do  you  dress  yourself 
in  your  sister's  clothes,  and  I  will  bring  you  off  instead  of 
her.  Let  him  imagine  that  he  has  your  sister  secure ;  I 
will  hand  you  down  to  the  cabin,  and  do  you  lock  yourself 
in.  He  cannot  sail  without  my  orders,  and  I  will  not  sign 
the  vouchers.  The  next  morning  we  will  open  the  cabin- 
door  and  have  a  good  laugh  at  him.  Desire  your  boat  to 
be  off  at  daylight  to  take  you  on  shore,  and  I  will  then 
make  him  proceed  to  Toulon  forthwith.  It  will  be  a 
capital  joke." 

So  thought  the  vice-consul,  as  well  as  Gascoigne  and 
Captain  Hogg.  He  shook  hands  with  Jack,  and  was  as 
civil  to  him  as  before. 

That  night  Gascoigne  left  one  of  Miss  Hicks's  many 
dresses  with  Azar,  who  agreed  to  follow  his  fortunes,  and 
who  packed  up  all  the  jewels  and  money  she  could  lay  her 
hands  upon.  Poor  little  child,  she  trembled  with  fear  and 
delight.  Miss  Hicks  smuggled,  as  she  thought,  a  box  of 
clothes  on  board,  and  in  the  box  was  her  fortune  of  three 
hundred  dollars.     Mr  Hicks  laughed  in  his  sleeve,  so  did 


244  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

Jack ;  and  every  one  went  to  bed  with  expectations  that 
their  wishes  would  be  realised.  After  an  early  dinner. 
Captain  Hogg  and  Gascoigne  went  on  board,  both  squeez- 
ing Jack's  hand  as  if  they  were  never  to  see  him  again, 
and  looks  of  intelligence  passed  between  all  the  parties. 

As  soon  as  they  were  out  of  the  door  the  vice-consul 
chuckled,  and  Miss  Hicks,  who  thought  he  chuckled  at  the 
idea  of  having  rid  himself  of  Captain  Hogg,  chuckled  still 
more  as  she  looked  at  our  hero,  who  was  her  confidant ; 
and  our  hero,  for  reasons  known  to  the  reader,  chuckled 
more  than  either  of  them. 

A  little  before  dark,  the  boat  was  sent  on  shore  from  the 
brig,  which  was  now  under  way,  and  Mr  Hicks,  as 
had  been  agreed,  said  that  he  should  go  into  the  office  and 
prepare  the  vouchers — that  is,  put  on  his  sister's  clothes. 
Miss  Hicks  immediately  rose,  and  wishing  our  hero  a 
pleasant  voyage,  as  had  been  agreed,  said  that  she  should 
retire  for  the  night,  as  she  had  a  bad  headache — she  wished 
her  brother  good-night,  and  went  into  her  room  to  wait 
another  hour,  when  our  hero,  having  shoved  ofF  the  boat 
to  deceive  the  vice-consul,  was  to  return,  meet  her  in  the 
garden,  and  take  her  off  to  the  brig.  Our  hero  then  went 
into  the  office  and  assisted  the  vice-consul,  who  took  off 
all  his  own  clothes  and  tied  them  up  in  a  handkerchief, 
intending  to  resume  them  after  he  had  gone  into  the  cabin. 

As  soon  as  he  was  ready.  Jack  carried  his  bundle  and  led 
the  supposed  Miss  Hicks  down  to  the  boat.  They  shoved  off 
in  a  great  hurry,  and  Jack  took  an  opportunity  of  dropping 
Mr  Hicks's  bundle  overboard.  As  soon  as  they  arrived 
alongside,  Mr  Hicks  ascended,  and  was  handed  by  Jack 
down  into  the  cabin :  he  squeezed  Jack's  hand  as  he 
entered,  saying  in  a  whisper,  "  To-morrow  morning  what 
a  laugh  we  shall  have  !  "  and  then  he  locked  the  door.  In 
the  meantime  the  boat  was  hooked  on  and  hoisted  up, 
and  Jack  took  the  precaution  to  have  the  dead  lights 
lowered,  that  Mr  Hicks  might  not  be  able  to  ascertain 
what  was  going  on.  Gascoigne  came  up  to  our  hero  and 
squeezed  his  hand. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  245 

**  I'm  so  much  obliged  to  you,  Jack.  I  say,  to-morrow 
morning  what  a  laugh  we  shall  have  !  " 

As  soon  as  the  boat  was  up,  and  the  mainyard  filled. 
Captain  Hogg  also  came  up  to  our  hero,  shaking  him  by 
the  hand  and  thanking  him  ;  and  he  too  concluded  by  say- 
ing, "  I  say,  Mr  Easy,  to-morrow  morning  what  a  laugh 
we  shall  have  !  " 

"  Let  those  laugh  who  win,"  thought  Jack. 

The  wind  was  fair,  the  watch  was  set,  the  course  was 
steered,  and  all  went  down  to  their  hammocks,  and  went  to 
sleep,  waiting  for  to-morrow  morning.  Mr  Hicks,  also, 
having  nothing  better  to  do,  went  to  sleep,  and  by  the 
morning  dawn,  the  transport  Mary  Ann  was  more  than  a 
hundred  miles  from  the  African  shore. 


Chapter  XXIV 

Our  hero  plays  the  very  devil. 

We  must  leave  the  reader  to  imagine  the  effect  of  the  next 
morning's  denouement.  Every  one  was  in  a  fury  except 
Jack,  who  did  nothing  but  laugh.  The  captain  wanted  to 
return  to  obtain  Miss  Hicks,  Gascoigne  to  obtain  Azar,  and 
the  vice-consul  to  obtain  his  liberty — but  the  v/ind  was 
foul  for  their  return,  and  Jack  soon  gained  the  captain  on  his 
side.  He  pointed  out  to  him  that,  in  the  first  place,  if  he 
presumed  to  return,  he  would  forfeit  his  charter  bond  5  in 
the  second,  he  would  have  to  pay  for  all  the  bullocks  that 
died ;  in  the  third,  that  if  he  wished  to  take  Miss  Hicks  as 
his  wife,  he  must  not  first  injure  her  character  by  having 
her  on  board  before  the  solemnity ;  and  lastly,  that  he 
could  always  go  and  marry  her  whenever  he  pleased ;  the 
brother  could  not  prevent  him.  All  this  was  very  good 
advice,  and  the  captain  became  quite  calm  and  rational,  and 
set  his  studding-sails  below  and  aloft. 

As  for  Gascoigne,  it  was  no  use  reasoning  with  him,  so 


246  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

it  was  agreed  that  he  should  have  satisfaction  as  soon  as  they 
could  get  on  shore  again.  Mr  Hicks  was  the  most  violent ; 
he  insisted  that  the  vessel  should  return,  while  both  Jack 
and  the  captain  refused,  although  he  threatened  them  with 
the  whole  foreign  office.  He  insisted  upon  having  his 
clothes,  but  Jack  replied  that  they  had  tumbled  over- 
board as  they  pulled  from  the  shore.  He  then  commanded 
the  mate  and  men  to  take  the  vessel  back,  but  they 
laughed  at  him  and  his  woman's  clothes.  "  At  all  events, 
I'll  have  you  turned  out  of  the  service,"  said  he  to  our 
hero  in  his  fury.  "  I  shall  be  extremely  obliged  to  you," 
said  Jack — and  Captain  Hogg  was  so  much  amused  with  the 
vice-consul's  appearance  in  his  sister's  clothes,  that  he  quite 
forgot  his  own  disappointment  in  laughing  at  his  intended 
brother-in-law.  He  made  friends  again  with  Jack,  who 
regained  his  ascendancy,  and  ordered  out  the  porter  on  the 
capstern-head.  They  had  an  excellent  dinner,  but  Mr 
Hicks  refused  to  join  them,  which  however  did  not 
spoil  the  appetite  of  Jack  or  the  captain  :  as  for  Gascoigne, 
he  could  not  eat  a  mouthful,  but  he  drank  to  excess, 
looking  over  the  rim  of  his  tumbler,  as  if  he  could  devour 
our  hero,  who  only  laughed  the  more.  Mr  Hicks  had 
applied  to  the  men  to  lend  him  some  clothes,  but  Jack  had 
foreseen  that,  and  he  was  omnipotent.  There  was  not  a 
jacket  or  a  pair  of  trousers  to  be  had  for  love  or  money. 
Mr  Hicks  then  considered  it  advisable  to  lower  his  tone, 
and  he  applied  to  Captain  Hogg,  who  begged  to  be  excused 
without  he  consented  to  his  marriage  with  his  sister,  to 
which  Mr  Hicks  gave  an  indignant  negative.  He  then 
applied  to  Gascoigne,  who  told  him  in  a  very  surly  tone  to 
go  to  h — 11.  At  last  he  applied  to  our  hero,  who  laughed, 
and  said  that  he  would  see  him  d— d  first.  So  Mr  Hicks 
sat  down  in  his  petticoats  and  vowed  revenge.  Gascoigne, 
who  had  drunk  much  and  eaten  nothing,  turned  in  and 
went  to  sleep — while  Captain  Hogg  and  our  hero  drank 
porter  on  the  capstern.  Thus  passed  the  first  day,  and 
the  wind  was  famously  fair — the  bullocks  lowed,  the  cocks 
crew,  the  sheep  baa'd,  and  the  Mary  Ann  made  upwards 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  2,47 

of  two  hundred  miles.  Jack  took  possession  of  the  other 
berth  in  the  cabin,  and  his  Majesty's  representative  was 
obliged  to  lie  down  in  his  petticoats  upon  a  topsail  which 
lay  between  decks,  with  a  bullock  on  each  side  of  him, 
who  every  now  and  then  made  a  dart  at  him  with  their 
horns,  as  if  they  knew  that  it  was  to  him  that  they  were 
indebted  for  their  embarkation  and  being  destined  to  drive 
the  scurvy  out  of  the  Toulon  fleet. 

We  cannot  enter  into  the  details  of  the  passage,  which, 
as  the  wind  was  fair,  was  accomplished  in  ten  days  without 
the  loss  of  a  bullock.  During  this  time  Mr  Hicks  con- 
descended to  eat  without  speaking,  imagining  that  the 
hour  of  retribution  would  come  when  they  joined  the 
admiral.  Gascoigne  gradually  recovered  himself,  but  did 
not  speak  to  our  hero,  who  continued  to  laugh  and  drink 
porter.  On  the  eleventh  morning  they  were  in  the  midst 
of  the  Toulon  fleet,  and  Mr  Hicks  smiled  exultingly  as  he 
passed  our  hero  in  his  petticoats,  and  wondered  that  Jack 
showed  no  signs  of  trepidation. 

The  fleet  hove-to,  Jack  ran  under  the  admiral's  stern, 
lowered  down  his  boat,  and  went  on  board,  showed  his 
credentials,  and  reported  his  bullocks.  The  general  signal 
was  made,  there  was  a  fair  division  of  the  spoil,  and  then 
the  admiral  asked  our  hero  whether  the  master  of  the 
transport  had  any  other  stock  on  board.  Jack  replied  that 
he  had  not  j  but  that,  having  been  told  by  the  governor  of 
Malta  that  they  might  be  acceptable,  he  had  bought  a  few 
sheep  and  some  dozen  of  fowls,  which  were  much  at  his 
service,  if  he  would  accept  of  them.  The  admiral  was 
much  obliged  to  the  governor,  and  also  to  Jack,  for 
thinking  of  him,  but  would  not,  of  course,  accept  of  the 
stock  without  paying  for  them.  He  requested  him  to  send 
all  of  them  on  board  that  he  could  spare,  and  then  asked 
Jack  to  dine  with  him,  for  Jack  had  put  on  his  best  attire, 
and  looked  very  much  of  a  gentleman. 

"  Mr  Easy,"  said  the  flag-captain,  who  had  been  looking 
at  the  transport  with  his  glass,  "  is  that  the  master's  wife 
on  board .'' " 


248  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  No,  sir,"  replied  Jack  j  "  it's  the  vice-consul." 

"  What,  in  petticoats  !  the  vice-consul  ?  " 

"  Yes,  the  vice-consul  of  Tetuan.  He  came  on  board  in 
that  dress  when  the  brig  was  under  way,  and  I  considered 
it  my  duty  not  to  delay,  being  aware  how  very  important 
it  was  that  the  fleet  should  be  provided  with  fresh  beef." 

"  What  is  all  this,  Mr  Easy  ? "  said  the  admiral ;  **  there 
has  been  some  trick  here.  You  will  oblige  me  by  coming 
into  the  cabin." 

Easy  followed  the  admiral  and  flag-captain  into  the 
cabin,  and  then  boldly  told  the  whole  story  how  he  tricked 
them  all.  It  was  impossible  for  either  of  them  to  help 
laughing,  and  when  they  began  to  laugh,  it  was  almost  as 
impossible  to  stop. 

"  Mr  Easy,"  said  the  admiral  at  last,  "  I  do  not  altogether 
blame  you  ;  it  appears  that  the  captain  of  the  transport 
would  have  delayed  sailing  because  he  was  in  love — and 
that  Mr  Gascoigne  would  have  stayed  behind  because  he 
was  infatuated,  independent  of  the  ill-will  against  the 
English  which  would  have  been  excited  by  the  abduction 
of  the  girl.  But  I  think  you  might  have  contrived  to 
manage  all  that  without  putting  the  vice-consul  in  petti- 
coats." 

"I  acted  to  the  best  of  my  judgment,  sir,"  replied  Jack, 
very  humbly. 

"  And  altogether  you  have  done  well.  Captain  Malcolm, 
send  a  boat  for  the  vice-consul." 

Mr  Hicks  was  too  impatient  to  tell  his  wrongs  to  care 
for  his  being  in  his  sister's  clothes :  he  came  on  board,  and 
although  the  tittering  was  great,  he  imagined  that  it  would 
soon  be  all  in  his  favour,  when  it  was  known  that  he  was 
a  diplomatic.  He  told  his  story,  and  waited  for  the 
decision  of  the  admiral,  which  was  to  crush  our  hero,  who 
stood  with  the  midshipmen  on  the  lee  side  of  the  deck ; 
but  the  admiral  replied,  "  Mr  Hicks,  in  the  first  place, 
this  appears  to  me  to  be  a  family  affair  concerning  the 
marriage  of  your  sister,  with  which  I  have  nothing  to  do. 
You  went   on  board  of  your  own  free  will  in  woman's 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  249 

clothes.  Mr  Easy's  orders  were  positive,  and  he  obeyed 
them.  It  was  his  duty  to  sail  as  soon  as  the  transport  was 
ready.  You  may  forward  your  complaint  if  you  please, 
but,  as  a  friend,  I  tell  you  that  it  will  probably  occasion 
your  dismissal ;  for  these  kind  of  pranks  are  not  under- 
stood at  the  foreign  office.  You  may  return  to  the 
transport,  which,  after  she  has  touched  at  Mahon,  will 
proceed  again  to  Tetuan.     The  boat  is  alongside,  sir." 

Mr  Hicks,  astonished  at  the  want  of  respect  paid  to  a 
vice-consul,  shoved  his  petticoats  between  his  legs,  and 
went  down  the  side  amidst  the  laughter  of  the  whole  of 
the  ship's  company.  Our  hero  dined  with  the  admiral, 
and  was  well  received.  He  got  his  orders  to  sail  that 
night  for  Minorca,  and  as  soon  as  dinner  was  over  he 
returned  on  board,  where  he  found  Captain  Hogg  very 
busy  selling  his  porter — Gascoigne  walking  the  deck  in 
a  brown  study — and  Mr  Hicks  solus  abaft,  sulking  in  his 
petticoats. 

As  soon  as  they  were  clear  of  the  boats,  the  Mary  Ann 
hoisted  her  ensign  and  made  sail,  and  as  all  the  porter  was 
not  yet  sold.  Jack  ordered  up  a  bottle. 

Jack  was  much  pleased  with  the  result  of  his  explanation 
with  the  admiral,  and  he  felt  that,  for  once,  he  had  not 
only  got  into  no  scrape  himself,  but  that  he  had  prevented 
others.  Gascoigne  walked  the  deck  gloomily  j  the  fact 
was,  that  he  was  very  unhappy  :  he  had  had  time  to 
reflect,  and  now  that  the  first  violence  had  subsided,  he 
felt  that  our  hero  had  done  him  a  real  service,  and  had 
prevented  him  from  committing  an  act  of  egregious  folly ; 
and  yet  he  had  summoned  this  friend  to  meet  him  in  the 
field — and  such  had  been  his  gratitude.  He  would  have 
given  the  world  to  recall  what  had  passed,  and  to  make 
friends,  but  he  felt  ashamed,  as  most  people  do,  to 
acknowledge  his  error ;  he  had,  however,  almost  made 
up  his  mind  to  it,  and  was  walking  up  and  down  thinking 
in  what  manner  he  might  contrive  it,  when  Jack,  who  was 
sitting,  as  usual,  in  a  chair  by  the  capstern,  with  his  porter 
by  him,  said  to  himself,  "  Now  I'll  lay  my  life  that  Ned 


250  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

wants  to  make  friends,  and  is  ashamed  to  speak  first ;  I 
may  be  mistaken,  and  he  may  fly  off  at  a  tangent  j  but 
even  if  I  am,  at  all  events  it  will  not  be  I  who  am  wrong 
— I'll  try  him."  Jack  waited  till  Gascoigne  passed  him 
again,  and  then  said,  looking  kindly  and  knowingly  in  his 
face, — 

"  I  say,  Ned,  will  you  have  a  glass  of  porter  ?  " 
Gascoigne  smiled,  and  Jack   held   out   his   hand;  the 
reconciliation  was  effected  in  a  moment,  and  the  subject 
of  quarrel  was  not  canvassed  by  either  party. 

"  We  shall  be  at  Minorca  in  a  day  or  two,"  observed 
Jack,  after  a  while ;  **  now  I  shall  be  glad  to  get  there. 
Do  you  know.,  Ned,  that  I  feel  very  much  satisfied  with 
myself  J  I  have  got  into  no  scrape  this  time,  and  I  shall, 
notwithstanding,  have  a  good  story  to  tell  the  governor 
when  I  go  to  Malta." 

"Partly  at  my  expense,"  replied  Gascoigne. 
"Why,  you  will  figure  a  little  in  it,  but  others  will 
figure  much  more." 

"  I  wonder  what  has  become  of  that  poor  girl," 
observed  Gascoigne,  who  could  not  refrain  from  mention- 
ing her  ;  "  what  hurts  me  most  is,  that  she  must  think 
me  such  a  brute." 

**  No  doubt  of  that,  Ned, — take  another  glass  of  porter." 
"  Her  father  gave  me  this  large  diamond." 
"  The  old  goat — sell  it,  and  drink  his  health  with  it." 
"  No,  I'll  keep  it  in  memory  of  his  daughter." 
Here  Gascoigne  fell  into  a  melancholy  reverie,  and  Jack 
thought  of  Agnes. 

In  two  days  they  arrived  at  Mahon,  and  found  the 
Aurora  already  there,  in  the  command  of  Captain  Wilson. 
Mr  Hicks  had  persuaded  Captain  Hogg  to  furnish  him  with 
clothes.  Jack  having  taken  off  the  injunction  as  soon  as  he 
had  quitted  the  admiral.  Mr  Hicks  was  aware,  that  if  the 
admiral  would  not  listen  to  his  complaint,  it  was  no  use 
speaking  to  a  captain  :  so  he  remained  on  board  a  pensioner 
upon  Captain  Hogg,  and  after  our  midshipmen  quitted  the 
transport  they  became  very  good  friends.     Mr  Hicks  con- 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  251 

sented  to  the  match,  and  Captain  Hogg  was  made  happy. 
As  for  poor  Azar,  she  had  wandered  about  until  she  was 
tired,  in  Miss  Hicks's  dress,  and  at  last  returned  broken- 
hearted to  her  father's,  and  was  admitted  by  Abdel  Faza 
himself;  he  imagined  it  was  Miss  Hicks,  and  was  in  tran- 
sports— he  discovered  it  was  his  daughter,  and  he  was  in 
a  fury.  The  next  day  she  went  to  the  zenana  of  Osman 
All. 

When  Jack  reported  himself  he  did  not  tell  the  history 
of  the  elopements,  that  he  might  not  hurt  the  feelings  of 
Gascoigne.  Captain  Wilson  was  satisfied  with  the  manner 
in  which  he  had  executed  his  orders,  and  asked  him, 
"  whether  he  preferred  staying  in  the  Harpy,  or  following 
him  into  the  Aurora." 

Jack  hesitated. 

"  Speak  frankly,  Mr  Easy  ;  if  you  prefer  Captain  Saw- 
bridge  to  me,  I  shall  not  be  affronted." 

"  No,  sir,"  replied  Easy,  "  I  do  not  prefer  Captain  Saw- 
bridge  to  you ;  you  have  both  been  equally  kind  to  me, 
but  I  prefer  you.  But  the  fact  is,  sir,  that  I  do  not  much 
like  to  part  with  Gascoigne  or " 

"Or     ho  ? "  said  the  captain,  smiling. 

**  With  Mesty,  sir ;  you  may  think  me  very  foolish,  but 
I  should  not  be  alive  at  this  moment,  if  it  had  not  been  for 
him." 

"  I  do  not  consider  gratitude  to  be  foolish,  Mr  Easy," 
replied  Captain  Wilson.  "  Mr  Gascoigne  I  intend  to  take 
with  me,  if  he  chooses  to  come,  as  I  have  a  great  respect 
for  his  father,  and  no  fault  to  find  with  him,  that  is, 
generally  speaking  j  but  as  for  Mesty — why  he  is  a  good 
man,  and  as  you  have  behaved  yourself  very  well,  perhaps 
I  may  think  of  it." 

The  next  day  Mesty  was  included  among  the  boat's 
crew  taken  with  him  by  Captain  Wilson,  according  to  the 
regulations  of  the  service,  and  appointed  to  the  same  situa- 
tion under  the  master  at  arms  of  the  Aurora.  Gascoigne 
and  our  hero  were  also  discharged  into  the  frigate. 

As  our  hero  never  has  shown  any  remarkable  predilection 


252  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

for  duty,  the  reader  will  not  be  surprised  at  his  requesting 
from  Captain  Wilson  a  few  days  on  shore,  previous  to  his 
going  on  board  of  the  Aurora.  Captain  Wilson  allowed 
the  same  licence  to  Gascoigne,  as  they  had  both  been 
cooped  up  for  some  time  on  board  of  a  transport.  Our 
hero  took  up  his  quarters  at  the  only  respectable  hotel  in 
the  town,  and  whenever  he  could  meet  an  officer  of  the 
Aurora,  he  very  politely  begged  the  pleasure  of  his  com- 
pany to  dinner.  Jack's  reputation  had  gone  before  him, 
and  the  midshipmen  drank  his  wine  and  swore  he  was  a 
trump.  Not  that  Jack  was  to  be  deceived,  but,  upon  the 
principles  of  equality,  he  argued  that  it  was  the  duty  of 
those  who  could  afford  dinners  to  give  them  to  those  who 
could  not.  This  was  a  sad  error  on  Jack's  part  j  but  he 
had  not  yet  learnt  the  value  of  money ;  he  was  such  a  fool 
as  to  think  that  the  only  real  use  of  it  was  to  make  other 
people  happy.  It  must,  however,  be  offered  in  his 
extenuation  that  he  was  a  midshipman  and  a  philosopher, 
and  not  yet  eighteen. 

At  last  Jack  had  remained  so  long  on  shore,  keeping 
open  house,  and  the  first  lieutenant  of  the  Aurora  found 
the  officers  so  much  more  anxious  for  leave,  now  that  they 
were  at  little  or  no  expense,  that  he  sent  him  a  very  polite 
message,  requesting  the  pleasure  of  his  company  on  board 
that  evening.  Jack  returned  an  equally  polite  answer,  in- 
forming the  first  lieutenant  that  not  being  aware  that  he 
v^rished  to  see  him,  he  had  promised  to  accompany  some 
friends  to  a  masquerade  that  night,  but  that  he  would  not 
fail  to  pay  his  respects  to  him  the  next  day.  The  first 
lieutenant  admitted  the  excuse,  and  our  hero,  after  having 
entertained  half-a-dozen  of  the  Auroras,  for  the  Harpy  had 
sailed  two  days  before,  dressed  himself  for  the  masquerade, 
which  was  held  in  a  church  about  two  miles  and  a  half 
from  Mahon. 

Jack  had  selected  the  costume  of  the  devil,  as  being  the 
most  appropriate,  and  mounting  a  jackass,  he  rode  down  in 
his  dress  to  the  masquerade.  But,  as  Jack  was  just  going 
in,  he  perceived  a  yellow  carriage,  with  two  footmen  in 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  25^ 

gaudy  liveries,  draw  up,  and  with  his  usual  politeness, 
when  the  footmen  opened  the  door,  offered  his  arm  to  hand 
out  a  fat  old  dowager  covered  with  diamonds ;  the  lady- 
looked  up,  and  perceiving  Jack  covered  with  hair,  with  his 
trident  and  his  horns,  and  long  tail,  gave  a  loud  scream, 
and  would  have  fallen  had  it  not  been  for  Captain  Wilson, 
who,  in  his  full  uniform,  was  coming  in,  and  caught  her  in 
his  arms :  while  the  old  lady  thanked  him,  and  Captain 
Wilson  bowed,  Jack  hastily  retreated.  "I  shall  make  no 
conquests  to-night,"  thought  he  ;  so  he  entered  the  church, 
and  joined  the  crowd ;  but  it  was  so  dense  that  it  was 
hardly  possible  to  move,  and  our  hero  soon  got  tired  of 
flourishing  his  trident,  and  sticking  it  into  people,  who 
wondered  what  the  devil  he  meant. 

"  This  is  stupid  work,"  thought  Jack,  "  I  may  have 
more  fun  outside : "  so  Jack  put  on  his  cloak,  left  the 
masquerade,  and  went  out  in  search  of  adventures.  He 
walked  into  the  open  country,  about  half  a  mile,  until 
he  came  to  a  splendid  house,  standing  in  a  garden  of 
orange-trees,  which  he  determined  to  reconnoitre.  He 
observed  that  a  window  was  open  and  lights  were  in  the 
room ;  and  he  climbed  up  to  the  window,  and  just  opened 
the  white  curtain  and  looked  in.  On  a  bed  lay  an  elderly 
person,  evidently  dying,  and  by  the  side  of  the  bed  were 
three  priests,  one  of  whom  held  the  crucifix  in  his  hand, 
another  the  censer,  and  a  third  was  sitting  at  a  table  with 
a  paper,  pen,  and  ink.  As  Jack  understood  Spanish,  he 
listened,  and  heard  one  of  the  priests  say,  — 

"  Your  sins  have  been  enormous,  my  son,  and  I  cannot 
give  you  extreme  unction  or  absolution  unless  you  make 
some  amends." 

"I  have,"  answered  the  moribund,  "left  money  for 
ten  thousand  masses  to  be  said  for  my  soul." 

"  Five  hundred  thousand  masses  are  not  sufficient :  how 
have  you  gained  your  enormous  wealth  ?  by  usury  and 
robbing  the  poor." 

*'  I  have  left  a  thousand  dollars  to  be  distributed  among 
the  poor  on  the  day  of  my  funeral." 


254  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

'*  One  thousand  dollars  is  nothing — you  must  leave  all 
your  property  to  holy  church." 

"  And  my  children  !  "  replied  the  dying  man,  faintly. 

"  What  are  your  children  compared  to  your  salvation  ? 
reply  not :  either  consent,  or  not  only  do  I  refuse  you 
the  consolation  of  the  dying,  but  I  excommunicate " 

"  Mercy,  holy  father — mercy !  "  said  the  old  man,  in  a 
dying  voice. 

*'  There  is  no  mercy,  you  are  damned  for  ever  and 
ever.     Amen.     Now  hear  :  excommunicabo  te — — " 

"  Stop — stop — have  you  the  paper  ready  ?" 

"  'Tis  here,  all  ready,  by  which  you  revoke  all  former 
wills,  and  endow  the  holy  church  with  your  property. 
We  will  read  it,  for  God  forbid  that  it  should  be 
said  that  the  holy  church  received  an  involuntary 
gift." 

"  I  will  sign  it,"  replied  the  dying  man,  "  but  my  sight 
fails  me ;  be  quick,  absolve  me."  And  the  paper  was 
signed,  with  difficulty,  as  the  priests  supported  the  dying 
man.     "  And  now — absolve  me." 

"  I  do  absolve  thee,"  replied  the  priest,  who  then  went 
thi-ough  the  ceremony. 

"  Now  this  is  a  confounded  rascally  business,"  said 
Jack  to  himself  J  who  then  dropped  his  cloak,  jumped 
upon  the  window-sill,  opened  wide  the  window-curtains 
with  both  hands,  and  uttered  a  yelling  kind  of  "  ha !  ha  ! 
ha!  ha!" 

The  priests  turned  round,  saw  the  demon  as  they 
imagined — dropped  the  paper  on  the  table,  and  threw 
themselves  with  their  faces  on  the  floor. 

^^  Exorciso  /^,"  stammered  one. 

"  Ha !  ha !  ha !  ha ! "  repeated  Jack,  entering  the 
room,  and  taking  up  the  paper  which  he  burnt  by  the 
flame  of  the  candle.  Our  hero  looked  at  the  old  man  on 
the  bed ;  his  jaw  had  fallen,  his  eyes  were  turned.  He 
was  dead.  Jack  then  gave  one  more  "  ha !  ha !  ha ! 
ha  ! "  to  keep  the  priests  in  their  places,  blew  out  the 
candles,  made   a   spring  out  of  the  window,  caught  up 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  255 

his  cloak,  and  disappeared  as  fast  as  his  legs  could  carry 
him. 

Jack  ran  until  he  was  out  of  breath,  and  then  he 
stopped,  and  sat  down  by  the  side  of  the  road.  It  was 
broad  moonlight,  and  Jack  knew  not  where  he  was : 
"but  Minorca  has  not  many  high  roads,"  thought  Jack, 
"  and  I  shall  find  my  way  home.  Now,  let  me  see, — 
I  have  done  some  good  this  evening.  I  have  prevented 
those  rogues  from  disinheriting  a  family.  I  wonder  who 
they  are ;  they  ought  to  be  infinitely  obliged  to  me. 
But  if  the  priests  find  me  out,  what  shall  I  do  ?  I  never 
dare  come  on  shore  again — they'd  have  me  in  the  Inquisi- 
tion. I  wonder  where  I  am,"  said  Jack ;  "I  will  get 
on  that  hill,  and  see  if  I  can  take  a  departure." 

The  hill  was  formed  by  the  road  being  cut  perpen- 
dicularly almost  through  it,  and  was  perhaps  some  twelve 
or  fourteen  feet  high.  Jack  ascended  it,  and  looked  about 
him.  "There  is  the  sea,  at  all  events,  with  the  full 
moon  silvering  the  waves,"  said  Jack,  turning  from  the 
road,  "  and  here  is  the  road ;  then  that  must  be  the  way 
to  Port  Mahon.  But  what  comes  here  ? — it's  a  carriage. 
Why,  it's  the  yellow  carriage  of  that  old  lady  with  her 
diamonds,  and  her  two  splashy  footmen ! "  Jack  was 
watching  it  as  it  passed  the  road  under  him,  when  of  a 
sudden,  he  perceived  about  a  dozen  men  rush  out,  and 
seize  the  horses'  heads, — a  discharge  of  firearms,  the 
coachman  dropped  off  the  box,  and  the  two  footmen 
dropped  from  behind.  The  robbers  then  opened  the 
door,  and  were  hauling  out  the  fat  old  lady  covered  with 
diamonds.  Jack  thought  a  second — it  occurred  to  him, 
that  although  he  could  not  cope  with  so  many,  he  might 
frighten  them,  as  he  had  frightened  one  set  of  robbers 
already  that  night.  The  old  lady  had  just  been  tumbled 
out  of  the  carriage-door,  like  a  large  bundle  of  clothes 
tied  up  for  the  wash,  when  Jack,  throwing  off  his  cloak, 
and  advancing  to  the  edge  of  the  precipice,  with  the 
full  moon  behind  him  throwing  out  his  figure  in  strong 
relief,  raised  his  trident,  and  just  as  they  were  raising 


256  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

their  knives,  yelled  a  most  unearthly  "  ha,  ha,  ha,  ha ! " 
The  robbers  looked  up,  and  forgetting  the  masquerade, 
for  there  is  a  double  tremor  in  guilt,  screamed  with  fear  •, 
most  of  them  ran  away,  and  dropped  after  a  hundred 
yards ;  others  remained  paralysed  and  insensible.  Jack 
descended  the  hill,  went  to  the  assistance  of  the  old  lady, 
who  had  swooned,  and  had  to  put  her  into  the  carriage ; 
but  although  our  hero  was  very  strong,  this  was  a  work 
of  no  small  difficulty.  After  one  or  two  attempts,  he 
lowered  down  the  steps  and  contrived  to  bump  her  on 
the  first,  from  the  first  he  purchased  her  on  the  second, 
and  from  the  second  he  at  last  seated  her  at  the  door  of 
the  carriage.  Jack  had  no  time  to  be  over-polite.  He 
then  threw  her  back  into  the  bottom  of  the  carriage,  her 
heels  went  up  to  the  top.  Jack  shoved  in  her  petticoats  as 
fast  as  he  could,  for  decency,  and  then  shutting  the  door 
seized  the  reins,  and  jumped  upon  the  box.  **  I  don't 
know  the  way,"  thought  Jack,  "  but  we  must  needs  go 
when  the  devil  drives;^'  so  sticking  his  trident  into  the 
horses,  they  set  off  at  a  rattling  pace,  passing  over  the 
bodies  of  the  two  robbers,  who  had  held  the  reins,  and 
who  both  lay  before  him  in  a  swoon.  As  soon  as  he  had 
brought  the  horses  into  a  trot,  he  slackened  the  reins,  for, 
as  Jack  wisely  argued,  they  will  be  certain  to  go  home 
if  I  let  them  have  their  own  way.  The  horses,  before 
they  arrived  at  the  town,  turned  off,  and  stopped  at  a 
large  country  house.  That  he  might  not  frighten  the 
people,  Jack  had  put  on  his  cloak,  and  taken  off  his  mask 
and  head-piece,  which  he  had  laid  beside  him  on  the  box. 
At  the  sound  of  the  carriage-wheels  the  servants  came 
out,  when  Jack,  in  few  words,  told  them  what  had 
happened.  Some  of  the  servants  ran  in,  and  a  young 
lady  made  her  appearance,  while  the  others  were  helping 
the  old  lady  out  of  the  carriage,  who  had  recovered  her 
senses,  but  had  been  so  much  frightened  that  she  had 
remained  in  the  posture  in  which  Jack  had  put  her. 

As   soon   as   she  was   out.  Jack   descended   from   the 
coach-box   and   entered   the   house.      He   stated   to   the 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  '  '^■57 

young  lady  what  had  taken  place,  and  how  opportunely 
he  had  frightened  away  the  robbers,  just  as  they  were 
about  to  murder  her  relation ;  and  also  suggested  the 
propriety  of  sending  after  the  servants  who  had  fallen 
in  the  attack ;  which  was  immediately  done  by  a  strong 
and  well-armed  party  collected  for  the  occasion.  Jack, 
having  made  his  speech,  made  a  very  polite  bow  and  took 
his  leave,  stating  that  he  was  an  English  officer  belonging 
to  a  frigate  in  the  harbour.  He  knew  his  way  back,  and 
in  half-an-hour  was  again  at  the  inn,  and  found  his  comrades. 
Jack  thought  it  advisable  to  keep  his  own  secret,  and 
therefore  merely  said,  that  he  had  taken  a  long  walk  in 
the  country ;  and  soon  afterwards  went  to  bed. 

The  next  morning  our  hero,  who  was  always  a  man  of 
his  word,  packed  up  his  portmanteau,  and  paid  his  bill. 
He  had  just  completed  this  heavy  operation,  when  some- 
body wanted  to  speak  to  him,  and  a  sort  of  half-clerical, 
half-legal  sort  of  looking  gentleman  was  introduced,  who, 
with  a  starched  face  and  prim  air,  said  that  he  came  to 
request  in  writing  the  name  of  the  officer  who  was  dressed 
as  a  devil,  in  the  masquerade  of  the  night  before. 

Jack  looked  at  his  interrogator,  and  thought  of  the 
priests  and  the  inquisition.  "  No,  no,"  thought  he, 
"that  won't  do;  a  name  I  must  give,  but  it  shall  be 
one  that  you  dare  not  meddle  with.  A  midshipman  you 
might  get  hold  of,  but  it's  more  than  the  whole  island 
dare  to  touch  a  post-captain  of  one  of  his  Majesty's 
frigates."  So  Jack  took  the  paper  and  wrote  Captain 
Henry  Wilson,  of  his  Majesty's  ship  Aurora. 

The  prim  man  made  a  prim  bow,  folded  up  the  paper, 
and  left  the  room. 

Jack  threw  the  waiter  half  a  doubloon,  lighted  his 
cigar,  and  went  on  board. 


258  ■  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 


Chapter  XXV 

In  which  the  old  proverb  is  illustrated,  "That  you  must  not  count  your 
chickens  before  they  are  hatched." 

The  first  lieutenant  of  the  Aurora  was  a  very  good  officer 
in  many  respects,  but,  as  a  midshipman,  he  had  contracted 
the  habit  of  putting  his  hands  in  his  pockets,  and  could 
never  keep  them  out,  even  when  the  ship  was  in  a  gale  of 
wind ;  and  hands  are  of  some  use  in  a  heavy  lurch.  He 
had  more  than  once  received  serious  injury  from  falling 
on  these  occasions,  but  habit  was  too  powerful ;  and, 
although  he  had  once  broken  his  leg  by  falling  down  the 
hatchway,  and  had  moreover  a  large  scar  on  his  forehead, 
received  from  being  thrown  to  leeward  against  one  of  the 
guns,  he  still  continued  the  practice ;  indeed,  it  was  said 
that  once  when  it  was  necessary  for  him  to  go  aloft,  he 
had  actually  taken  the  two  first  rounds  of  the  Jacob's 
ladder  without  withdrawing  them,  until,  losing  his  balance, 
he  discovered  that  it  was  not  quite  so  easy  to  go  aloft  with 
his  hands  in  his  pockets.  In  fact,  there  was  no  getting 
up  his  hands,  even  when  all  hands  were  turned  up.  He 
had  another  peculiarity,  which  was,  that  he  had  taken  a 
peculiar  fancy  to  a  quack  medicine,  called  Enouy's 
Universal  Medicine  for  all  Mankind  ;  and  Mr  Pottyfar 
was  convinced  in  his  own  mind  that  the  label  was  no 
libel,  except  from  the  greatness  of  its  truth.  In  his 
opinion,  it  cured  everything,  and  he  spent  one  of  his 
quarterly  bills  every  year  in  bottles  of  this  stuff  j  which 
he  not  only  took  himself  every  time  he  was  unwell,  but 
occasionally  when  quite  well,  to  prevent  his  falling  sick. 
He  recommended  it  to  everybody  in  the  ship,  and  nothing 
pleased  him  so  much  as  to  give  a  dose  of  it  to  everyone 
who  could  be  persuaded  to  take  it.  The  officers  laughed 
at  him,  but  it  was  generally  behind  his  back,  for  he 
became  very  angry  if  contradicted  upon  this  one  point, 
upon  which  he  certainly  might  be  considered  to  be  a  little 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  259 

cracked.  He  was  indefatigable  in  making  proselytes  to 
his  creed,  and  expatiated  upon  the  virtues  of  the  medicine 
for  an  hour  running,  proving  the  truth  of  his  assertions  by 
a  pamphlet,  which,  with  his  hands,  he  always  carried  in 
his  trousers'  pocket. 

Jack  reported  himself  when  he  came  on  board,  and  Mr 
Potty  far,  who  was  on  the  quarter-deck  at  the  time, 
expressed  a  hope  that  Mr  Easy  would  take  his  share  of 
the  duty,  now  that  he  had  had  such  a  spell  on  shore ;  to 
which  Jack  very  graciously  acceded,  and  then  went  down 
below,  where  he  found  Gascoigne  and  his  new  messmates, 
with  most  of  whom  he  was  already  acquainted. 

'*  Well,  Easy,"  said  Gascoigne,  "  have  you  had  enough 
of  the  shore  ? " 

"  Quite,"  replied  Jack,  recollecting  that,  after  the 
events  of  the  night  before,  he  was  just  as  well  on  board ; 
"  I  don't  intend  to  ask  for  any  more  leave." 

"Perhaps  it's  quite  as  well,  for  Mr  Pottyfar  is  not  very 
liberal  on  that  score,  I  can  tell  you  ;  there  is  but  one  way 
of  getting  leave  from  him." 

"  Indeed  !  "  replied  Jack  ;  "  and  what  is  that  ? " 

"  You  must  pretend  that  you  are  not  well,  take  some  of 
his  quack  medicine,  and  then  he  will  allow  you  a  run  on 
shore  to  work  it  off." 

"  Oh !  that's  it,  is  it  ?  well  then,  as  soon  as  we  anchor 
in  Valette,  I'll  go  through  a  regular  course,  but  not  till 
then." 

"  It  ought  to  suit  you,  Jack  -,  it's  an  equality  medicine  j 
cures  one  disorder  just  as  well  as  the  other." 

"  Or  kills — which  levels  all  the  patients.  You're  right, 
Gascoigne,  I  must  patronise  that  stuff — for  more  reasons 
than  one.     Who  was  that  person  on  deck  in  mufti  ? " 

"  The  mufti,  Jack;  in  other  words,  the  chaplain  of  the 
ship,  but  he's  a  prime  sailor,  nevertheless." 

"How's  that?" 

"  Why,  he  was  brought  up  on  the  quarter-deck,  served 
his  time,  was  acting  lieutenant  for  two  years,  and  then, 
somehow  or  another,  he  bore  up  for  the  church." 


26o  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  Indeed — what  were  his  reasons  ?  " 

"No  one  knows — but  they  say  he  has  been  unhappy 
ever  since." 

"Why  so?" 

"  Because  he  did  a  very  foolish  thing,  which  cannot  now 
be  remedied.  He  supposed  at  the  time  that  he  would 
make  a  good  parson,  and  now  that  he  has  long  got  over 
his  fit,  he  finds  himself  wholly  unfit  for  it — he  is  still  the 
officer  in  heart,  and  is  always  struggling  with  his  natural 
bent,  which  is  very  contrary  to  what  a  parson  should 
feel." 

*'  Why  don't  they  allow  parsons  to  be  broke  by  a  court- 
martial,  and  turned  out  of  the  service,  or  to  resign  their 
commissions,  like  other  people  ?  " 

"  It  won't  do.  Jack — they  serve  heaven — there's  a 
difference  between  that  and  serving  his  Majesty." 

"  Well,  I  don't  understand  these  things.  When  do  we 
sail  ?  " 

*'  The  day  after  to-morrow." 

"  To  join  the  fleet  of  Toulon  ?  " 

"  Yes  :  but  I  suppose  we  shall  be  driven  on  the  Spanish 
coast  going  there.  I  never  knew  a  man-of-war  that  was 
not." 

"  No  J  wind  always  blows  from  the  south,  going  up 
the  Mediterranean." 

*'  Perhaps  you'll  take  another  prize,  Jack — mind  you 
don't  go  away  without  the  articles  of  war." 

"  I  won't  go  away  without  Mesty,  if  I  can  help  it.  O 
dear,  how  abominable  a  midshipman's  berth  is  after  a  long 
run  on  shore  !  I  positively  must  go  on  deck  and  look  at 
the  shore,  if  I  can  do  nothing  else." 

"  Why,  ten  minutes  ago  you  had  had  enough  of  it  ?  " 

"  Yes,  but  ten  minutes  here  has  made  me  feel  quite 
sick.     I  shall  go  to  the  first  lieutenant  for  a  dose." 

"  I  say.  Easy,  we  must  both  be  physicked  on  the  same 
day." 

"  To  be  sure ;  but  stop  till  we  get  to  Malta." 

Jack  went  on  deck,  made  acquaintance  with  the  chaplain 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  261 

and  some  of  the  officers  whom  he  had  not  known,  then 
dimbed  up  into  the  maintop,  where  he  took  a  seat  on  the 
armolest,  and,  as  he  looked  at  the  shore,  thought  over  the 
events  that  had  passed,  until  Agnes  came  to  his  memory, 
and  he  thought  only  of  her.  When  a  mid  is  in  love,  he 
always  goes  aloft  to  think  of  the  object  of  his  affection ; 
why,  I  don't  know,  except  that  his  reverie  is  not  so  likely 
to  be  disturbed  by  an  order  from  a  superior  officer. 

The  Aurora  sailed  on  the  second  day,  and,  with  a  fine 
breeze,  stood  across,  making  as  much  northing  as  easting  ; 
the  consequence  was,  that  one  fine  morning  they  saw 
the  Spanish  coast  before  they  saw  the  Toulon  fleet.  Mr 
Pottyfar  took  his  hands  out  of  his  pockets,  because  he 
could  not  examine  the  coast  through  a  telescope  without 
so  doing ;  but  this,  it  is  said,  was  the  first  time  that  he 
had  done  so  on  the  quarter-deck  from  the  day  that  the 
ship  had  sailed  from  Port  Mahon.  Captain  Wilson  was 
also  occupied  with  his  telescope,  so  were  many  of  the 
officers  and  midshipmen,  and  the  men  at  the  mast-heads 
used  their  eyes,  but  there  was  nothing  but  a  few  small 
fishing-boats  to  be  seen.  So  they  all  went  down  to 
breakfast,  as  the  ship  was  hove-to  close  in  with  the 
land. 

"  What  will  Easy  bet,"  said  one  of  the  midshipmen, 
"  that  we  don't  see  a  prize  to-day  ?  " 

**  I  will  not  bet  that  we  do  not  see  a  vessel — but  I'll  bet 
you  what  you  please,  that  we  do  not  take  one  before 
twelve  o'clock  at  night." 

"  No,  no,  that  won't  do — just  let  the  teapot  travel  over 
this  way,  for  it's  my  forenoon  watch." 

"  It's  a  fine  morning,"  observed  one  of  the  mates,  of  the 
name  of  Martin  j  *'  but  I've  a  notion  it  won't  be  a  fine 
evening." 

**  Why  not  ?  "  inquired  another. 

*'  I've  now  been  eight  years  in  the  Mediterranean,  and 
know  something  about  the  weather.  There's  a  watery  sky, 
and  the  wind  is  very  steady.  If  we  are  not  under  double 
reefed  topsails  to-night,  say  I'm  no  conjurer." 


i62  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  That  you  will  be,  all  the  same,  if  we  are  under  bare 
poles,"  said  another. 

**  You're  devilish  free  with  your  tongue,  my  youngster. 
— Easy,  pull  his  ears  for  me." 

"  Pull  them  easy,  Jack,  then,"  said  the  boy,  laughing. 

"  All  hands  make  sail !  "  now  resounded  at  the  hatch- 
ways. 

"  There  they  are,  depend  upon  it,"  cried  Gascoigne, 
catching  up  his  hat  and  bolting  out  of  the  berth,  followed 
by  all  the  others  except  Martin,  who  had  just  been  relieved, 
and  thought  that  his  presence  in  the  waist  might  be 
dispensed  with  for  the  short  time,  at  least,  which  it  took 
him  to  swallow  a  cup  of  tea. 

It  was  very  true ;  a  galliot  and  four  lateen  vessels  had 
just  made  their  appearance  round  the  easternmost  point, 
and  as  soon  as  they  observed  the  frigate,  had  hauled  their 
wind.  In  a  minute  the  Aurora  was  under  a  press  of 
canvas,  and  the  telescopes  were  all  directed  to  the  vessels. 

"  All  deeply  laden,  sir,"  observed  Mr  Hawkins,  the 
chaplain  ;  '*  how  the  topsail  of  the  galliot  is  scored  !  " 

"  They  have  a  fresh  breeze  just  now,"  observed  Captain 
Wilson  to  the  first  lieutenant. 

"  Yes,  sir,  and  it's  coming  down  fast." 

'*  Hands  by  the  royal  halyards,  there." 

The  Aurora  careened  with  the  canvas  to  the  rapidly- 
increasing  breeze. 

"Top-gallant  sheet  and  halyards." 

"  Luff  you  may,  quarter-master  j  lufF,  I  tell  you.  A 
small  pull  of  that  weather  maintop-gallant  brace — that 
will  do,"  said  the  master. 

"  Top-men  aloft  there ;  —  stand  by  to  clew  up  the 
royals — and.  Captain  Wilson,  shall  we  take  them  in .' — 
I'm  afraid  of  that  pole — it  bends  now  like  a  coach-whip," 
said  Mr  Pottyfar,  looking  up  aloft,  with  his  hands  in 
both  pockets. 

"  In  royals — lower  away." 

"  They  are  going  about,  sir,"  said  the  second  lieutenant, 
Mr  Haswell. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  263 

*'  Look  out,"  observed  the  chaplain,  *'  it's  coming." 

Again  the  breeze  increases,  and  the  frigate  was  borne 
down. 

"  Hands  reef  top-sails  in  stays,  Mr  Pottyfar." 

"  Aye,  aye,  sir — 'bout  ship." 

The  helm  was  put  down  and  the  topsails  lowered  and 
reefed  in  stays. 

"Very  well,  my  lads,  very  well  indeed,"  said  Captain 
Vv^ilson. 

Again  the  topsails  were  hoisted  and  top-gallant  sheets 
home.  It  was  a  strong  breeze,  although  the  water  was 
smooth,  and  the  Aurora  dashed  through  at  the  rate  of 
eight  miles  an  hour,  with  her  weather  leeches  lifting. 

"  Didn't  I  tell  you  so  .' "  said  Martin  to  his  messmates 
on  the  gangway  ;  **  but  there's  more  yet,  my  boys." 

*'  We  must  take  the  top-gallant  sails  off  her,"  said 
Captain  Wilson,  looking  aloft  —  for  the  frigate  now 
careened  to  her  bearings,  and  the  wind  was  increasing 
and  squally.  "Try  them  a  little  longer;"  but  another 
squall  came  suddenly — the  halyards  were  lowered,  and 
the  sails  clewed  up  and  furled. 

In  the  meantime  the  frigate  had  rapidly  gained  upon 
the  vessels,  which  still  carried  on  every  stitch  of  canvas, 
making  short  tacks  in-shore.  The  Aurora  was  again 
put  about  with  her  head  towards  them,  and  they  were 
not  two  points  on  her  weather-bow.  The  sky,  which 
had  been  clear  in  the  morning,  was  now  overcast,  the 
sun  was  obscured  with  opaque  white  clouds,  and  the 
sea  was  rising  fast.  Another  ten  minutes,  and  then  they 
were  under  double-reefed  topsails  and  the  squalls  were 
accompanied  with  heavy  rain.  The  frigate  now  dashed 
through  the  waves,  foaming  in  her  course,  and  straining 
under  the  press  of  sail.  The  horizon  was  so  thick  that 
the  vessels  ahead  were  no  longer  to  be  seen. 

"We  shall  have  it,  I  expect,"  said  Captain  Wilson. 

"Didn't  I  say  so?"  observed  Martin  to  Gascoigne, 
"  We  take  no  prizes  this  day,  depend  upon  it." 

"  We  must  have  another  hand  to  the  wheel,  sir,  if  you 


264  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

please,"  said  the  quarter-master,  who  was  assisting  the 
helmsman. 

Mr  Pottyfar,  with  his  hands  concealed  as  usual,  stood 
by  the  capstern.  **  I  fear,  sir,  we  cannot  carry  the  main- 
sail much  longer." 

"  No,"  observed  the  chaplain,  "  I  was  thinking  so." 

"  Captain  Wilson,  if  you  please,  we  are  very  close  in," 
said  the  master ;  "  don't  you  think  we  had  better  go 
about  ? " 

"  Yes,  Mr  Jones. — Hands  about  ship — and — yes,  by 
heavens  we  must ! — up  mainsail." 

The  mainsail  was  taken  off,  and  the  frigate  appeared  to 
be  immediately  relieved.  She  no  longer  jerked  and 
plunged  as  before. 

"We're  very  near  the  land,  Captain  Wilson;  thick  as 
it  is,  I  think  I  can  make  out  the  loom  of  it — shall  we 
wear  round,  sir  ? "  continued  the  master. 

"  Yes, — hands  wear  ship — put  the  helm  up." 

It  was  but  just  in  time,  for,  as  the  frigate  flew  round, 
describing  a  circle,  as  she  payed  off  before  the  wind, 
they  could  perceive  the  breakers  lashing  the  precipitous 
coast,  not  two  cables'  length  from  them. 

"  I  had  no  idea  we  were  so  near,"  observed  the  captain, 
compressing  his  lips — "  can  they  see  anything  of  those 
vessels  ? " 

"  I  have  not  seen  them  this  quarter  of  an  hour,  sir," 
replied  the  signal-man,  protecting  his  glass  from  the  rain 
under  his  jacket. 

"  How's  her  head  now,  quarter-master  ?  " 

"  South  south-east,  sir." 

The  sky  now  assumed  a  different  appearance — the 
white  clouds  had  been  exchanged  for  others  dark  and 
murky,  the  wind  roared  at  intervals,  and  the  rain  came 
down  in  torrents.  Captain  Wilson  went  down  into  the 
cabin  to  examine  the  barometer. 

"  The  barometer  has  risen,"  said  he  on  his  return 
on  deck.     "  Is  the  wind  steady  ? " 

"No,  sir,  she's  up  and  off  three  points." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  265 

"  This  will  end  in  a  south-wester." 

The  wet  and  heavy  sails  now  flapped  from  the  shifting 
of  the  wind. 

"  Up  with  the  helm,  quarter-master." 

"  Up  it  is — she's  off"  to  south-by-west." 

The  wind  lulled,  the  rain  came  down  in  a  deluge — for  a 
minute  it  was  quite  calm,  and  the  frigate  was  on  an  even 
keel. 

**  Man  the  braces.  We  shall  be  taken  aback,  directly, 
depend  upon  it." 

The  braces  were  hardly  stretched  along  before  this  was 
the  case.  The  wind  flew  round  to  the  south-west  with  a 
loud  roar,  and  it  was  fortunate  that  they  were  prepared — 
the  yards  were  braced  round,  and  the  master  asked  the 
captain,  what  course  they  were  to  steer. 

"We  must  give  it  up,"  observed  Captain  Wilson, 
holding  on  by  the  belaying  pin.  **  Shape  our  course 
for  Cape  Sicie,  Mr  Jones." 

And  the  Aurora  flew  before  the  gale,  under  her  foresail 
and  topsails  close  reefed.  The  weather  was  now  so  thick 
that  nothing  could  be  observed  twenty  yards  from  the 
vessel ;  the  thunder  pealed,  and  the  lightning  darted 
in  every  direction  over  the  dark  expanse.  The  watch  was 
called  as  soon  as  the  sails  were  trimmed,  and  all  who 
could  went  below,  wet,  uncomfortable,  and  disap- 
pointed. 

"What  an  old  Jonah  you  are,  Martin,"  said  Gascoigne. 

"  Yes,  I  am,"  replied  he ;  "  but  we  have  the  worst 
to  come  yet,  in  my  opinion.  I  recollect,  not  two  hundred 
miles  from  where  we  are  now,  we  had  just  such  a  gale  in 
the  Favourite,  and  we  as  nearly  went  down,  when " 

At  this  moment  a  tremendous  noise  was  heard  above,  a 
shock  was  felt  throughout  the  whole  ship,  which  trembled 
fore  and  aft  as  if  it  was  about  to  fall  into  pieces :  loud 
shrieks  were  followed  by  plaintive  cries,  the  lower  deck 
was  filled  with  smoke,  and  the  frigate  was  down  on  her 
beam  ends.  Without  exchanging  a  word,  the  whole  of 
the  occupants  of  the  berth  flew  out,   and  were  up  the 


266  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

hatchway,  not  knowing  what  to  think,  but  convinced  that 
some  dreadful  accident  had  taken  place. 

On  their  gaining  the  deck  it  was  at  once  explained ;  the 
foremast  of  the  frigate  had  been  struck  by  lightning,  had 
been  riven  into  several  pieces,  and  had  fallen  over  the 
larboard  bow,  carrying  with  it  the  main  topmast  and 
jib-boom.  The  jagged  stump  of  the  foremast  was  in 
flames,  and  burned  brightly,  notwithstanding  the  rain  fell 
in  torrents.  The  ship,  as  soon  as  the  foremast  and  main 
topmast  had  gone  overboard,  broached-to  furiously, 
throwing  the  men  over  the  wheel  and  dashing  them 
senseless  against  the  carronades  ;  the  forecastle,  the  fore- 
part of  the  main  deck,  and  even  the  lower  deck,  were 
spread  with  men,  either  killed  or  seriously  wounded, 
or  insensible  from  the  electric  shock.  The  frigate  was  on 
her  beam  ends,  and  the  sea  broke  furiously  over  her ;  all 
was  dark  as  pitch,  except  the  light  from  the  blazing  stump 
of  the  foremast,  appearing  like  a  torch,  held  up  by  the 
wild  demons  of  the  storm,  or  when  occasionally  the 
gleaming  lightning  cast  a  momentary  glare,  threatening 
every  moment  to  repeat  its  attack  upon  the  vessel,  while 
the  deafening  thunder  burst  almost  on  their  devoted  heads. 
All  was  dismay  and  confusion  for  a  minute  or  two :  at  last 
Captain  Wilson,  who  had  him.self  lost  his  sight  for  a  short 
time,  called  for  the  carpenter  and  axes — they  climbed  up, 
that  is,  two  or  three  of  them,  and  he  pointed  to  the  mizen- 
mast ;  the  master  was  also  there,  and  he  cut  loose  the  axes 
for  the  seamen  to  use ;  in  a  few  minutes  the  mizenmast 
fell  over  the  quarter,  and  the  helm  being  put  hard  up,  the 
frigate  payed  off  and  slowly  righted.  But  the  horror 
of  the  scene  was  not  yet  over.  The  boatswain,  who  had 
been  on  the  forecastle,  had  been  led  below,  for  his  vision 
was  gone  for  ever.  The  men  who  lay  scattered  about 
had  been  examined,  and  they  were  assisting  them  down 
to  the  care  of  the  surgeon,  when  the  cry  of  "  Fire !  " 
issued  from  the  lower  deck.  The  ship  had  taken  fire 
at  the  coal-hole  and  carpenter's  store-room,  and  the  smoke 
that  now  ascended  was  intense. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  267 

"  Call  the  drummer,"  said  Captain  Wilson,  "  and  let 
him  beat  to  quarters — all  hands  to  their  stations — let 
the  pumps  be  rigged  and  the  buckets  passed  along.  Mr 
Martin,  see  that  the  wounded  men  are  taken  down  below. 
Where's  Mr  Haswell  ?  Mr  Pottyfar,  station  the  men  to 
pass  the  water  on  by  hand  on  the  lower  deck.  I  will  go 
there  myself.     Mr  Jones,  take  charge  of  the  ship." 

Pottyfar,  who  actually  had  taken  his  hands  out  of  his 
pockets,  hastened  down  to  comply  with  the  captain's  orders 
on  the  main  deck,  as  Captain  Wilson  descended  to  the 
deck  below. 

"  I  say.  Jack,  this  is  very  different  from  this  morning," 
observed  Gascoigne. 

"  Yes,"  replied  Jack,  "  so  it  is  ;  but  I  say,  Gascoigne, 
what's  the  best  thing  to  do  ? — when  the  chimney's  on  fire 
on  shore,  they  put  a  wet  blanket  over  it." 

"  Yes,"  replied  Gascoigne  ;  "  but  when  the  coal-hole's 
on  fire  on  board,  they  will  not  find  that  sufficient." 

**  At  all  events,  wet  blankets  must  be  a  good  thing, 
Ned,  so  let  us  pull  out  the  hammocks  ;  cut  the  lanyards 
and  get  some  out — we  can  but  offer  them,  you  know,  and 
if  they  do  no  good,  at  least  it  will  show  our  zeal." 

"  Yes,  Jack,  and  I  think  when  they  turn  in  again,  those 
whose  blankets  you  take  will  agree  with  you,  that  zeal 
makes  the  service  very  uncomfortable.  However,  I  think 
you  are  right." 

The  two  midshipmen  collected  three  or  four  hands,  and 
in  a  very  short  time  they  had  more  blankets  than  they 
could  carry — there  was  no  trouble  in  wetting  them,  for 
the  main  deck  was  afloat — and  followed  by  the  men  they 
had  collected.  Easy  and  Gascoigne  went  down  with  large 
bundles  in  their  arms  to  where  Captain  Wilson  was  giving 
directions  to  the  men. 

"  Excellent,  Mr  Easy,  excellent,  Mr  Gascoigne !  "  said 
Captain  Wilson.  "  Come,  my  lads,  throw  them  over  now, 
and  stamp  upon  them  well ; "  the  men's  jackets  and  the 
captain's  coat  had  already  been  sacrificed  to  the  same 
object. 


268  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

Easy  called  the  other  midshipmen,  and  they  went  up  for 
a  further  supply ;  but  there  was  no  occasion,  the  fire  had 
been  smothered :  still  the  danger  had  been  so  great  that 
the  fore  magazine  had  been  floated.  During  all  this, 
which  lasted  perhaps  a  quarter  of  an,  hour,  the  frigate 
had  rolled  gunwale  under,  and  many  were  the  accidents 
which  occurred.  At  last  all  danger  from  fire  had  ceased, 
and  the  men  were  ordered  to  return  to  their  quarters, 
when  three  officers  and  forty-seven  men  were  found 
absent — seven  of  them  were  dead,  most  of  them  were 
already  under  the  care  of  the  surgeon,  but  some  were 
still  lying  in  the  scuppers. 

No  one  had  been  more  active  or  more  brave  during  this 
time  of  danger,  than  Mr  Hawkins,  the  chaplain.  He  was 
everywhere,  and  when  Captain  Wilson  went  down  to  put 
out  the  fire  he  was  there,  encouraging  the  men  and  exert- 
ing himself  most  gallantly.  He  and  Mesty  came  aft  when 
all  was  over,  one  just  as  black  as  the  other.  The  chaplain 
sat  down  and  wrung  his  hands — "  God  forgive  me  !  "  said 
he,  "  God  forgive  me  !  " 

"  Why  so,  sir  ?  "  said  Easy,  who  stood  near.  **  I  am 
sure  you  need  not  be  ashamed  of  what  you  have  done." 

"  No,  no,  not  ashamed  of  what  I've  done ;  but,  Mr 
Easy — I  have  sworn  so,  sworn  such  oaths  at  the  men 
in  haste — I,  the  chaplain  !  God  forgive  me  ! — I  meant 
nothing."  It  was  very  true  that  Mr  Hawkins  had  sworn 
a  great  deal  during  his  exertions,  but  he  was  at  that  time 
the  quarter-deck  officer  and  not  the  chaplain  ;  the  example 
to  the  men  and  his  gallantry  had  been  most  serviceable. 

*'  Indeed,  sir,"  said  Easy,  who  saw  the  chaplain  was  in 
great  tribulation,  and  hoped  to  pacify  him,  "I  was  cer- 
tainly not  there  all  the  time,  but  I  only  heard  you  say, 
*  God  bless  you,  my  men  !  be  smart,'  and  so  on ;  surely, 
that  is  not  swearing." 

"  Was  it  that  I  said,  Mr  Easy,  are  you  sure  ?     I  really 

had  an  idea  that  I  had  d d  them  all  in  heaps,  as  some 

of  them  deserved — no,  no,  not  deserved.  Did  I  really 
bless  them— nothing  but  bless  them  ?  " 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  269 

**  Yes,  sir,"  said  Mesty,  who  perceived  what  Jack 
wanted :  "  it  was  nothing,  I  assure  you,  but  '  God  bless 
you.  Captain  Wilson  ! — Bless  your  heart,  my  good  men  ! 
— Bless  the  king  !  and  so  on.  You  do  nothing  but  shower 
down  blessing  and  wet  blanket." 

"  I  told  you  so,"  said  Jack. 

**  Well,  Mr  Easy,  you've  made  me  very  happy,"  replied 
the  chaplain ;  "I  was  afraid  it  was  otherwise." 

So  indeed  it  was,  for  the  chaplain  had  sworn  like  a  boat- 
swain ;  but  as  Jack  and  Mesty  had  turned  all  his  curses 
into  blessings,  the  poor  man  gave  himself  absolution,  and 
shaking  hands  with  Jack,  hoped  he  would  come  down 
into  the  gun-room  and  take  a  glass  of  grog ;  nor  did 
he  forget  Mesty,  who  received  a  good  allowance  at  the 
gun-room  door,  to  which  Jack  gladly  consented,  as  the 
rum  in  the  middy's  berth  had  all  been  exhausted  after  the 
rainy  morning ;  but  Jack  was  interrupted  in  his  third  glass, 
by  somebody  telling  him  the  captain  wanted  to  speak  with 
Mr  Hawkins  and  with  him. 

Jack  went  up,  and  found  the  captain  on  the  quarter-deck 
with  the  officers. 

*'  Mr  Easy,"  said  Captain  Wilson,  "  I  have  sent  for  you, 
Mr  Hawkins,  and  Mr  Gascoigne,  to  thank  you  on  the 
quarter-deck,  for  your  exertions  and  presence  of  mind 
on  this  trying  occasion."  Mr  Hawkins  made  a  bow. 
Gascoigne  said  nothing,  but  he  thought  of  having  extra 
leave  when  they  arrived  at  Malta.  Jack  felt  inclined  to 
make  a  speech,  and  began  something  about  when  there 
was  danger  that  it  levelled  every  one  to  an  equality  even 
on  board  of  a  man-of-war. 

"  By  no  means,  Mr  Easy,"  replied  Captain  Wilson ;  "  it 
does  the  very  contrary ;  for  it  proves  which  is  the  best 
man,  and  those  who  are  the  best  raise  themselves  at  once 
above  the  rest." 

Jack  was  very  much  inclined  to  argue  the  point,  but  he 
took  the  compliment  and  held  his  tongue,  which  was  the 
wisest  thing  he  could  have  donej  so  he  made  his  bow, 
and  was  about  to  go  down  into  the  midshipmen's  berth 


270  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

when  the  frigate  was  pooped  by  a  tremendous  sea,  which 
washed  all  those  who  did  not  hold  on  down  into  the  waist. 
Jack  was  among  the  number,  and  naturally  catching  at  the 
first  object  which  touched  him,  he  caught  hold  of  the 
chaplain  by  the  leg,  who  commenced  swearing  most 
terribly :  but  before  he  could  finish  the  oath,  the  water 
which  had  burst  into  the  cabin  through  the  windows — for 
the  dead  lights,  in  the  confusion,  had  not  yet  been  shipped 
— burst  out  of  the  cross  bulk-heads,  sweeping  like  a 
torrent  the  marine,  the  cabin-door,  and  everything  else  in 
its  force,  and  floating  Jack  and  the  chaplain  with  several 
others  down  the  main  hatchway  on  to  the  lower  deck. 
The  lower  deck  being  also  full  of  water,  men  and  chests 
were  rolling  and  tossing  about,  and  Jack  was  sometimes  in 
company  with  the  chaplain,  and  at  other  times  separated ; 
at  last  they  both  recovered  their  legs,  and  gained  the  mid- 
shipmen's berth,  which,  although  afloat,  was  still  a  haven 
of  security.  Mr  Hawkins  spluttered  and  spit,  and  so  did 
Jack,  until  he  began  to  laugh. 

"  This  is  very  trying,  Mr  Easy,"  said  the  chaplain ; 
**  very  trying  indeed  to  the  temper.  I  hope  I  have  not 
sworn — I  hope  not." 

"Not  a  word,"  said  Jack — "I  was  close  to  you  all  the 
time — you  only  said,  '  God  preserve  us  ! ' " 

**  Only  that  ?     I  was  afraid  that  I  said  *  God  d — n  it ! ' " 

"  Quite  a  mistake,  Mr  Hawkins.  Let's  go  into  the  gun- 
room, and  try  to  wash  this  salt  water  out  of  our  mouths, 
and  then  I  will  tell  you  all  you  said,  as  far  as  I  could  hear 
it,  word  for  word." 

So  Jack  by  this  means  got  another  glass  of  grog,  which 
was  very  acceptable  in  his  wet  condition,  and  made  himself 
very  comfortable,  while  those  on  deck  were  putting  on  the 
dead  lights,  and  very  busy  setting  the  goose-wings  of  the 
mainsail,  to  prevent  the  frigate  from  being  pooped  a  second 
time. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  271 


Chapter  XXVI 

Tn  which  our  hero  becomes  excessively  unwell,  and  agrees  to  go  through 
a  course  of  medicine. 

The  hammocks  were  not  piped  down  that  night  :  some 
were  taken  indiscriminately  for  the  wounded,  but  the  rest 
remained  in  the  nettings,  for  all  hands  were  busy  pre- 
paring jury  masts  and  jury  rigging,  and  Mr  Potty  far  was 
so  well  employed  that  for  twelve  hours  his  hands  were  not 
in  his  pockets.  It  was  indeed  a  dreadful  night :  the  waves 
were  mountains  high,  and  chased  the  frigate  in  their  fury, 
cresting,  breaking,  and  roaring  at  her  tafFrail.  But  she 
flew  before  them  with  the  wings  of  the  wind ;  four  men 
at  the  helm,  assisted  by  others  at  the  relieving  tackles 
below.  Jack,  having  been  thanked  on  and  washed  off  the 
quarter-deck,  thought  that  he  had  done  quite  enough :  he 
was  as  deep  as  he  could  swim  before  he  had  satisfied  all 
the  scruples  of  the  chaplain,  and,  stowing  himself  away  on 
one  of  the  lockers  of  the  midshipmen's  berth,  was  soon 
fast  asleep,  notwithstanding  that  the  frigate  rolled  gunwale 
under.  Gascoigne  had  done  much  better  j  he  had  taken 
down  a  hammock,  as  he  said,  for  a  poor  wounded  man, 
hung  it  up  and  turned  in  himself.  The  consequence  was, 
that  the  next  morning  the  surgeon,  who  saw  him  lying  in 
the  hammock,  had  put  him  down  in  the  report,  but  as 
Gascoigne  had  got  up  as  well  as  ever,  he  laughed  and 
scratched  his  name  out  of  the  list  of  wounded. 

Before  morning  the  ship  had  been  pumped  out  dry,  and 
all  below  made  as  secure  and  safe  as  circumstances  would 
permit ;  but  the  gale  still  continued  its  violence,  and  there 
was  anything  but  comfort  on  board. 

"  I  say,  Martin,  you  ought  to  be  thrown  overboard  ! "' 
said  Gascoigne ;  "  aD  this  comes  from  your  croaking— 
you're  a  Mother  Gary's  chicken." 

**I  wish  I  had  been  any  one's  chicken,"  replied  Martin; 


272  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

*'  but  the  devil  a  thing  to  nestle  under  have  I  had  since  I 
can  well  remember." 

*'  What  a  bore  to  have  no  galley-fire  lighted,"  said  one 
of    the    youngsters ;    '*  no    tea,    and    not    allowed    any 

grog-" 

"  The  gale  will  last  three  days,"  replied  Martin,  "  and 

by  that  time  we  shall  not  be  far  from  the  admiral ;  it  won't 

blow  home  there." 

"  Well,  then,  we  shall  be  ordered  in  directly,  and  I  shall 
go  on  shore  to-morrow,"  replied  Easy. 

"  Yes,  if  you're  ill,"  replied  Gascoigne. 

"  Never  fear,  I  shall  be  sick  enough.  We  shall  be  there 
at  least  six  weeks,  and  then  we'll  forget  all  this." 

**  Yes,"  replied  Martin,  *'  we  may  forget  it,  but  will  the 
poor  fellows  whose  limbs  are  shrivelled  forget  it  ?  and  will 
poor  Miles,  the  boatswain,  who  is  blind  for  ever  ? " 

"  Very  true,  Martin  j  we  are  thinking  about  ourselves, 
not  thankful  for  our  escape,  and  not  feeling  for  others," 
replied  Gascoigne. 

•'  Give  us  your  hand,  Ned,"  said  Jack  Easy.  "  And, 
Martin,  we  ought  to  thank  you  for  telling  us  the  truth — 
we  are  a  selfish  set  of  fellows." 

"  Still  we  took  our  share  with  the  others,"  replied  one 
of  the  midshipmen. 

**  That's  more  reason  for  us  to  be  grateful  and  to  pity 
them,"  replied  Jack  j  "  suppose  you  had  lost  your  arm  or 
your  eyesight — we  should  have  pitied  you ;  so  now  pity 
others." 

"  Well,  so  I  do,  now  I  think  of  it." 

*'  Think  oftener,  youngster,"  observed  Martin,  going 
on  deck. 

What  a  change  from  the  morning  of  the  day  before ;  but 
twenty-four  hours  had  passed  away,  and  the  sea  had  been 
smooth  J  the  frigate  dashed  through  the  blue  water,  proud 
in  all  her  canvas,  graceful  as  a  swan.  Since  that  there  had 
been  fire,  tempest,  lightning,  disaster,  danger,  and  death ; 
her  masts  were  tossed  about  on  the  snowy  waves,  hundreds 
of  miles  away  from  her,  and  she — a  wreck — was  rolling 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  273 

heavily,  groaning  and  complaining  in  every  timber,  as  she 
urged  her  impetuous  race  with  the  furious  running  sea. 

How  wrong  are  those  on  shore  who  assert  that  sailors 
are  not  religious ! — how  is  it  possible,  supposing  them  to 
be  possessed  of  feeling,  to  be  otherwise  ?  On  shore,  where 
you  have  nothing  but  the  change  of  seasons,  each  in  its 
own  peculiar  beauty — nothing  but  the  blessings  of  the 
earth,  its  fruits,  its  flowers — nothing  but  the  bounty,  the 
comforts,  the  luxuries  which  have  been  invented,  where 
you  can  rise  in  the  morning  in  peace,  and  lay  down  your 
head  at  night  in  security — God  may  be  neglected  and  for- 
gotten for  a  long  time ;  but  at  sea,  when  each  gale  is  a 
warning,  each  disaster  acts  as  a  check,  each  escape  as  a 
homily  upon  the  forbearance  of  Providence,  that  man  must 
be  indeed  brutalised  who  does  not  feel  that  God  is  there. 
On  shore  we  seldom  view  Him  but  in  all  His  beauty  and 
kindness ;  but  at  sea  we  are  as  often  reminded  how  terrible 
He  is  in  His  wrath.  Can  it  be  supposed  that  the  occur- 
rences of  the  last  twenty-four  hours  were  lost  upon  the 
minds  of  any  one  man  in  that  ship  ?  No,  no.  In  their 
courage  and  activity  they  might  appear  reckless,  but  in 
their  hearts  they  acknowledged  and  bowed  unto  their  God. 

Before  the  day  was  over,  a  jury-foremast  had  been  got 
up,  and  sail  having  been  put  upon  it,  the  ship  was  steered 
with  greater  ease  and  safety — the  main  brace  had  been 
spliced  to  cheer  up  the  exhausted  crew,  and  the  hammocks 
were  piped  down. 

As  Gascoigne  had  observed,  some  of  the  men  were  not 
very  much  pleased  to  find  that  they  were  minus  their 
blankets,  but  Captain  Wilson  ordered  their  losses  to  be 
supplied  by  the  purser  and  expended  by  the  master  -,  this 
quite  altered  the  case,  as  they  obtained  new  blankets  in 
most  cases  for  old  ones,  but  still  it  was  impossibe  to  light 
the  galley  fire,  and  the  men  sat  on  their  chests  and  nibbled 
biscuit.  By  twelve  o'clock  that  night  the  gale  broke,  and 
more  sail  was  necessarily  put  on  the  scudding  vessel,  for 
the  sea  still  ran  fast  and  mountains  high.  At  daylight  the 
sun  burst  out  and  shone  brightly  on  them,  the  sea  went 
E  s 


274  M^  Midshipman  Easy 

gradually  down,  the  fire  was  lighted,  and  Mr  Pottyfar, 
whose  hands  were  again  in  his  pockets,  at  twelve  o'clock 
gave  the  welcome  order  to  pipe  to  dinner.  As  soon  as  the 
men  had  eaten  their  dinner,  the  frigate  was  once  more 
brought  to  the  wind,  her  jury-mast  forward  improved 
upon,  and  more  sail  made  upon  it.  The  next  morning 
there  was  nothing  of  the  gale  left  except  the  dire  effects 
which  it  had  produced,  the  black  and  riven  stump  of  the 
foremast  still  holding  up  a  terrific  warning  of  the  power 
and  fury  of  the  elements. 

Three  days  more,  and  the  Aurora  joined  the  Toulon 
fleet.  When  she  was  first  seen  it  was  imagined  by  those 
on  board  of  the  other  ships  that  she  had  been  in  action, 
but  they  soon  learnt  that  the  conflict  had  been  against 
more  direful  weapons  than  any  yet  invented  by  mortal 
hands.  Captain  Wilson  waited  upon  the  admiral,  and 
of  course  received  immediate  orders  to  repair  to  port 
and  refit.  In  a  few  hours  the  Aurora  had  shaped  her 
course  for  Malta,  and  by  sunset  the  Toulon  fleet  were 
no  longer  in  sight. 

**  By  de  holy-poker,  Massa  Easy,  but  that  terrible  sort 
of  gale  the  other  day  anyhow — I  tink  one  time,  we  all 
go  to  Davy  Joney's  lacker." 

"  Very  true,  Mesty ;  I  hope  never  to  meet  with  such 
another." 

"Den,  Massa  Easy,  why  you  go  to  sea?  when  man 
ab  no  money,  noting  to  eat,  den  he  go  to  sea,  but  every- 
body say  you  ab  plenty  money — why  you  come  to  sea  ? " 

**  I'm  sure  I  don't  know,"  replied  Jack,  thoughtfully ; 
"  I  came  to  sea  on  account  of  equality  and  the  rights  of 
man." 

"  Eh,  Massa  Easy,  you  come  to  wrong  place  anyhow ; 
now  I  tink  a  good  deal  lately,  and  by  all  de  power,  I 
tink  equality  all  stuff." 

"  All  stuff,  Mesty,  why  ?    You  used  to  think  otherwise." 

"  Yes,  Massa  Easy,  but  den  I  boil  de  kettle  for  all 
young  gentleman.  Now  dat  I  ship's  corporal  and  hab 
cane,  I  tink  so  no  longer." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  275 

Jack  made  no  reply,  but  he  thought  the  more.  The 
reader  must  have  perceived  that  Jack's  notions  of  equality 
were  rapidly  disappearing  ■,  he  defended  them  more  from 
habit,  and  perhaps  a  wilfulness  which  would  not  allow 
him  to  acknowledge  himself  wrong ; — to  which  may  be 
added  his  love  of  argument.  Already  he  had  accustomed 
himself  to  obedience  of  his  superiors,  and,  notwithstanding 
his  arguments,  he  would  admit  of  no  resistance  from  those 
below  him ;  not  that  it  was  hardly  ever  attempted,  for 
Jack  was  anything  but  a  tyrant  and  was  much  beloved 
by  all  in  the  ship.  Every  day  brought  its  lesson,  and 
Captain  Wilson  was  now  satisfied  that  Jack  had  been 
almost  cured  of  the  effects  of  his  father's  ridiculous 
philosophy. 

After  a  few  minutes,  Mesty  tapped  his  cane  on  the 
funnel  and  recommenced. 

"  Then  why  you  stay  at  sea,  Massa  Easy  ? " 

"  I  don't  know,  Mesty,  I  don't  dislike  it." 

"But,  Massa  Easy,  why  you  stay  in  midshipman  berth, 
eat  hard  biscuit,  salt  pig,  salt  horse,  when  you  can  go 
shore  and  live  like  gentleman  ?  Dat  very  foolish  !  Why 
not  be  your  own  master .''  By  all  power  !  suppose  I  had 
money,  catch  me  board  ship.  Little  sea  very  good,  Massa 
Easy,  open  one's  eyes ;  but  tink  of  the  lightning  t'other 
night.    Poor  massa  boatswain  he  shut  um  eyes  for  ebber  !  " 

"Very  true,  Mesty." 

*'  Me  hope  you  tink  of  this,  sar,  and  when  you  go  on 
shore  you  take  Mesty  wid  you.  He  sarve  you  well, 
Massa  Easy,  long  as  he  live,  by  de  holy  St  Patrick.  And 
den,  Massa  Easy,  you  marry  wife — hab  pickaninny — lib 
like  gentleman.     You  tink  of  this,  Massa  Easy." 

The  mention  of  the  word  marriage  turned  the  thoughts 
of  our  hero  to  his  Agnes,  and  he  made  no  reply.  Mesty 
walked  away  leaving  our  hero  in  deep  thought. 

This  conversation  had  more  effect  upon  Jack  than  would 
have  been  imagined,  and  he  very  often  found  he  was 
putting  to  himself  the  question  of  Mesty — "  Why  do 
you  stay  at  sea  .'' "     He  had  not  entered  the  service  with 


276  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

any  particular  view,  except  to  find  equality,  and  he  could 
not  but  acknowledge  to  himself  that,  as  Mesty  observed, 
he  had  come  to  the  wrong  place.  He  had  never  even 
thought  of  staying  to  serve  his  time,  nor  had  he  looked 
forward  to  promotion,  and  one  day  commanding  a  ship. 
He  had  only  cared  for  the  present,  without  indulging 
in  a  future  anticipation  of  any  reward,  except  in  a  union 
with  Agnes.  Mesty's  observations  occasioned  Jack  to 
reflect  upon  the  future  for  the  first  time  in  his  life ;  and 
he  was  always  perplexed  when  he  put  the  question  of 
Mesty,  and  tried  to  answer  to  himself  as  to  what  were 
his  intentions  in  remaining  in  the  service. 

Nevertheless  Jack  did  his  duty  very  much  to  the  satis- 
faction of  Mr  Pottyfar ;  and  after  a  tedious  passage,  from 
baffling  and  light  winds,  the  Aurora  arrived  at  Malta. 
Our  hero  had  had  some  conversation  with  his  friend 
Gascoigne,  in  which  he  canvassed  his  future  plans  ;  all  of 
which,  however,  ended  in  one  settled  point,  which  was 
that  he  was  to  marry  Agnes.  As  for  the  rest,  Gascoigne 
was  of  opinion  that  Jack  ought  to  follow  up  the  service 
and  become  a  captain.  But  there  was  plenty  of  time  to 
think  about  that,  as  he  observed  5  now  all  they  had  to 
consider  was  how  to  get  on  shore,  for  the  refitting  of  the 
ship  was  an  excuse  for  detaining  them  on  board,  which 
they  knew  Mr  Pottyfar  would  avail  himself  of.  Jack 
dined  in  the  gun-room  on  the  day  of  their  arrival,  and  he 
resolved  that  he  would  ask  that  very  evening.  Captain 
Wilson  was  already  on  shore  at  the  governor's.  Now, 
there  had  been  a  little  difference  of  opinion  between  Mr 
Pottyfar  and  Mr  Hawkins,  the  chaplain,  on  a  point  of 
seamanship,  and  most  of  the  officers  sided  with  the  chap- 
lain, who,  as  we  have  before  observed,  was  a  first-rate 
seaman.  It  had  ended  in  high  words,  for  Mr  Hawkins 
had  forgotten  himself  so  far  as  to  tell  the  first  lieutenant 
that  he  had  a  great  deal  to  learn,  not  having  even  got  over 
the  midshipman's  trick  of  keeping  his  hands  in  his  pockets  ; 
and  Mr  Pottyfar  had  replied  that  it  was  very  well  for  him 
as   chaplain   to   insult   others,   knowing  that  his  cassock 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  277 

protected  him.  This  was  a  bitter  reply  to  Mr  Hawkins, 
who  at  the  very  time  that  the  insinuation  made  his  blood 
boil,  was  also  reminded  that  his  profession  forbade  a  retort. 
He  rushed  into  his  cabin,  poor  fellow,  having  no  other 
method  left,  vented  his  indignation  in  tears,  and  then 
consoled  himself  by  degrees  with  prayer.  In  the  meantime 
Mr  Pottyfar  had  gone  on  deck,  wroth  with  Hawkins  and 
with  his  messmates,  as  well  as  displeased  with  himself. 
He  was,  indeed,  in  a  humour  to  be  pleased  with  nobody, 
and  in  a  most  unfortunate  humour  to  be  asked  leave  by  a 
midshipman.  Nevertheless,  Jack  politely  took  off  his  hat, 
and  requested  leave  to  go  on  shore  and  see  his  friend  the 
governor.  Upon  which  Mr  Pottyfar  turned  round  to  him, 
with  his  feet  spread  wide  open,  and,  thrusting  his  hands 
to  the  very  bottom  of  his  pockets,  as  if  in  determination, 
said : 

"  Mr  Easy,  you  know  the  state  of  the  ship.  We  have 
everything  to  do — new  masts,  new  rigging,  everything 
almost  to  refit — and  yet  you  ask  to  go  on  shore !  Now, 
sir,  you  may  take  this  answer  for  yourself,  and  all  the 
other  midshipmen  in  the  ship,  that  not  one  soul  of  you 
puts  his  foot  on  shore  until  we  are  again  all  a-taunto." 

"Allow  me  to  observe,  sir,"  said  our  hero,  "that  it  is 
very  true  that  all  our  services  may  be  required  when  the 
duty  commences,  but  this  being  Saturday  night,  and  to- 
morrow Sunday,  the  frigate  will  not  be  even  moved  till 
Monday  morning ;  and  as  the  work  cannot  begin  before 
that,  I  trust  you  will  permit  leave  until  that  time." 

*'  My  opinion  is  different,  sir,"  replied  the  first  lieu- 
tenant. 

"Perhaps,  sir,  you  will  allow  me  to  argue  the  point," 
replied  Jack. 

"No,  sir,  I  never  allow  argument;  walk  over  to  the 
other  side  of  the  deck,  if  you  please." 

"  O  certainly,  sir,"  said  Jack,  "  if  you  wish  it." 

Jack's  first  idea  was  to  go  on  shore  without  leave,  but 
from  this  he  was  persuaded  by  Gascoigne,  who  told  him 
that  it  would  displease  Captain  Wilson,  and  that  old  Tom, 


278  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

the  governor,  would  not  receive  him.  Jack  agreed  to  this, 
and  then,  after  a  flourish  about  the  rights  of  man,  tyranny, 
oppression,  and  so  forth,  he  walked  forward  to  the  fore- 
castle, where  he  found  his  friend  Mesty,  who  had  heard 
all  that  had  passed,  and  who  insidiously  said  to  him  in  a 
low  tone — 

"Why  you  stay  at  sea,  Massa  Easy  ?" 

'*  Why,  indeed,"  thought  Jack,  boiling  with  indignation  ; 
"to  be  cooped  up  here  at  the  will  of  another  ?  I  am  a 
fool — Mesty  is  right — I'll  ask  for  my  discharge  to-morrow." 
Jack  went  down  below,  and  told  Gascoigne  what  he  had 
determined  to  do. 

"You'll  do  no  such  thing.  Jack,"  replied  Gascoigne  5 
"  depend  upon  it,  you'll  have  plenty  of  leave  in  a  day  or 
two.  Pottyfar  was  in  a  pet  with  the  chaplain,  who  was 
too  much  for  him.  Captain  Wilson  will  be  on  board  by 
nine  o'clock." 

Nevertheless,  Jack  walked  his  first  watch  in  the  magntfi- 
cents,  as  all  middies  do  when  they  cannot  go  on  shore,  and 
turned  in  at  twelve  o'clock  with  the  resolution  of  sticking 
to  his  purpose,  and  quitting  his  Majesty's  service ;  in  fact, 
of  presenting  his  Majesty  with  his  between  two  and  three 
years'  time,  served  as  midshipman,  all  free,  gratis,  and  for 
nothing,  except  his  provisions  and  his  pay,  which  some 
captains  are  bold  enough  to  assert  that  they  not  only  are 
not  worth,  but  not  even  the  salt  that  accompanies  it ; 
forgetting  that  they  were  once  midshipmen  themselves, 
and  at  the  period  were,  of  course,  of  about  the  same  value. 

"  The  next  morning  Captain  Wilson  came  off;  the 
ship's  company  were  mustered,  the  service  read  by  Mr 
Hawkins,  and  Jack,  as  soon  as  all  the  official  duties  were 
over,  was  about  to  go  up  to  the  captain,  when  the  captain 
said  to  him, — 

"  Mr  Easy,  the  governor  desired  me  to  bring  you  on 
shore  to  dine  with  him,  and  he  has  a  bed  at  your 
service." 

Jack  touched  his  hat  and  ran  down  below,  to  make  his 
few  preparations. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  279 

By  the  time  that  Mesty,  who  had  taken  charge  of  his 
chest,  &c.,  had  put  his  necessaries  in  the  boat,  Jack  had 
ahnost  made  up  his  mind  that  his  Majesty  should  not  be 
deprived  yet  awhile  of  so  valuable  an  officer.  Jack  re- 
turned on  deck,  and  found  that  the  captain  was  not  yet 
ready  ;  he  went  up  to  Mr  Potty  far,  and  told  him  that 
the  captain  had  ordered  him  to  go  on  shore  with  him  j 
and  Mr  Pottyfar,  who  had  quite  got  over  his  spleen, 
said, — 

"  Very  well,  Mr  Easy — I  wish  you  a  great  deal  of 
pleasure." 

"  This  is  very  different  from  yesterday,"  thought  Jack  j 
*'  suppose  I  try  the  medicine  ? " 

•*  I  am  not  very  well,  Mr  Pottyfar,  and  those  pills  of 
the  doctor's  don't  agree  with  me — I  always  am  ill  if  I 
am  long  without  air  and  exercise." 

"  Very  true,"  said  the  first  lieutenant,  "  people  require 
air  and  exercise.  I've  no  opinion  of  the  doctor's  remedies  ; 
the  only  thing  that  is  worth  a  farthing  is  the  universal 
medicine." 

"  I  should  so  long  to  try  it,  sir,"  replied  Jack  ;  "  I  read 
the  book  one  day,  and  it  said  that  if  you  took  it  daily  for 
a  fortnight  or  three  weeks,  and  with  plenty  of  air  and 
exercise,  it  would  do  wonders." 

"  And  it's  very  true,"  replied  Mr  Pottyfar ;  "  and  if 
you'd  like  to  try  it  you  shall — I  have  plenty — shall  I  give 
you  a  dose  now  ? " 

"If  you  please,  sir,"  replied  Jack;  "and  tell  me  how 
often  I  am  to  take  it,  for  my  head  aches  all  day." 

Mr  Pottyfar  took  Jack  down,  and  putting  into  his  hand 
three  or  four  bottles  of  the  preparation,  told  him  that  he 
was  to  take  thirty  drops  at  night,  when  he  went  to  bed, 
not  to  drink  more  than  two  glasses  of  wine,  and  to  avoid 
the  heat  of  the  sun. 

"  But,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  who  had  put  the  bottles  in 
his  pocket,  "  I  am  afraid  that  I  cannot  take  it  long ;  for 
as  the  ship  is  ready  for  fitting,  I  shall  be  exposed  to  the 
sun  all  day." 


28o  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

**  Yes,  if  you  are  wanted,  Mr  Easy  j  but  we  have 
plenty  here  without  you ;  and  when  you  are  unwell  you 
cannot  be  expected  to  work.  Take  care  of  your  health ; 
and  I  trust,  indeed  I  am  sure,  that  you  will  find  this 
medicine  wonderfully  efficacious." 

"  I  will  begin  to-night,  sir,  if  you  please,"  replied 
Jack,  **  and  I  am  very  much  obliged  to  you.  I  sleep  at 
the  governor's — shall  I  come  on  board  to-morrow  morn- 
ing?" 

"  No,  no  ;  take  care  of  yourself,  and  get  well ;  I  shall 
be  glad  to  hear  that  you  get  better.  Send  me  word  how 
it  acts." 

**  I  will,  sir,  send  you  word  by  the  boat  every  day," 
replied  Jack,  delighted ;  "  I  am  very  much  obliged  to 
you,  sir.  Gascoigne  and  I  were  thinking  of  asking  you, 
but  did  not  like  to  do  so :  he,  poor  fellow,  suffers  from 
headaches  almost  as  bad  as  I  do,  and  the  doctor's  pills 
are  of  no  use  to  him." 

"  He  shall  have  some  too,  Mr  Easy ;  I  thought  he 
looked  pale.  I'll  see  to  it  this  afternoon.  Recollect, 
moderate  exercise,  Mr  Easy,  and  avoid  the  sun  at  mid- 
day." 

"Yes,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  "I'll  not  forget;"  and  off 
went  Jack,  delighted.  He  ordered  Mesty  to  put  up  his 
whole  portmanteau  instead  of  the  small  bundle  he  put 
into  the  boat,  and  telling  Gascoigne  what  a  spoke  he 
had  put  into  his  wheel,  was  soon  in  the  boat  with  the 
captain,  and  went  on  shore,  where  he  was  cordially 
greeted  by  the  governor. 


Chapter  XXVII 

In  which  Captain  Wilson  is  repaid  with  interest  for  Jack's  borrowing  his 
name  ;  proving  that  a  good  name  is  as  good  as  a  legacy. 

"  Well,  Jack,  my  boy,  have  you  any  long  story  ready 
for  me  ? "  inquired  the  governor. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  281 

"  Yes,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  "  I  have  one  or  two  very 
good  ones." 

"Very  well,  we'll  hear  them  after  dinner,"  replied  old 
Tom  "  In  the  meantime  find  out  your  room  and  take 
possession." 

**  That  must  not  be  for  very  long,  governor,"  observed 
Captain  Wilson.  *'  Mr  Easy  must  learn  his  duty,  and  there 
is  a  good  opportunity  now." 

**  If  you  please,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  "  I'm  on  the  sick 
list." 

'*  Sick  list,"  said  Captain  Wilson  ;  "  you  were  not  in  the 
report  that  Mr  Wilson  gave  me  this  morning." 

"  No,  I'm  on  Mr  Potty far's  list,  and  I'm  going  through  a 
course  of  the  universal  medicine." 

**  What's  all  this.  Jack,  what's  all  this  ?  There's  some 
story  here.  Don't  be  afraid  of  the  captain — you've  me  to 
back  you,"  said  the  governor. 

Jack  was  not  at  all  afraid  of  the  captain,  so  he  told  him 
how  the  first  lieutenant  had  refused  him  leave  the  evening 
before,  and  how  he  had  now  given  him  permission  to 
remain,  and  try  the  universal  medicine,  at  which  the 
governor  laughed  heartily,  nor  could  Captain  Wilson 
refrain  from  joining. 

*'  But,  Mr  Easy,"  replied  the  captain,  after  a  pause,  "  if 
Mr  Pottyfar  will  allow  you  to  stay  on  shore,  I  cannot — you 
have  your  duty  to  learn.  You  must  be  aware  that  now  is 
your  time,  and  you  must  not  lose  opportunities  that  do  not 
occur  every  day.  You  must  acknowledge  the  truth  of 
what  I  say." 

'*  Yes,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  "  I  admit  it  all,  provided  I  do 
intend  to  follow  the  profession  ; "  and  so  saying  our  hero 
bowed,  and  left  the  veranda  where  they  had  been  talking. 

This  hint  of  Jack's,  thrown  out  by  him,  more  with  the 
intention  of  preventing  his  being  sent  on  board  than  with 
any  definite  idea,  was  not  lost  upon  either  the  captain  or  the 
governor. 

"  Does  he  jib,  then  ? "  observed  the  governor. 

**  On  the  contrary,  I  never  knew  him  more  attentive,  and 


282  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

so  entirely  getting  rid  of  his  former  notions.  He  has 
behaved  most  nobly  in  the  gale,  and  there  has  not  been  one 
complaint  against  him — I  never  was  more  astonished — he 
must  have  meant  something." 

"I'll  tell  you  what  he  means,  "Wilson — that  he  does 
not  like  to  be  sent  on  board,  nothing  more.  He's  not  to 
be  cooped  up — you  may  lead  him,  but  not  drive  him." 

"  Yes,  but  the  service  will  not  admit  of  it.  I  never 
could  allow  it — he  must  do  his  duty  like  the  rest,  and  con- 
form to  the  rules." 

"  Exactly,  so  he  must ;  but  look  ye,  Wilson,  you  must 
not  lose  him  :  it's  all  easily  settled — appoint  him  your 
orderly  midshipman  to  and  from  the  ship ;  that  will  be 
employment,  and  he  can  always  remain  here  at  night.  I 
will  tell  him  that  I  have  asked,  as  a  favour,  what  I  now  do, 
and  leave  me  to  find  out  what  he  is  thinking  about." 

•'It  may  be  done  that  way,  certainly,"  replied  Captain 
Wilson,  musing ;  "  and  you  are  more  likely  to  get  his 
intentions  from  him  than  I  am.  I  am  afraid  he  has  too 
great  a  command  of  money  ever  to  be  fond  of  the  ship ;  it 
is  the  ruin  of  a  junior  officer  to  be  so  lavishly  supplied." 

"  He's  a  long  way  from  ruin  yet,  Wilson — he's  a  very 
fine  fellow,  even  by  your  own  acknowledgment.  You 
humoured  him  out  of  gratitude  to  his  father,  when  he  first 
came  into  the  service ;  humour  him  a  little  now  to  keep  him 
in  it.  Besides,  if  your  first  lieutenant  is  such  a  fool  with 
his  universal  medicine,  can  you  wonder  at  a  midshipman 
taking  advantage  of  it  ?  " 

"  No,  but  I  ought  not  to  allow  him  to  do  so  with  my  eyes 
open." 

"  He  has  made  it  known  to  you  upon  honour,  and  you 
ought  not  to  take  advantage  of  his  confidence  :  but  still 
what  I  proposed  would,  I  think,  be  the  best,  for  then  he 
will  be  at  his  duty  in  a  way  that  will  suit  all  parties.  You, 
because  you  employ  him  on  service — the  first  lieutenant, 
because  Jack  can  take  his  medicine — and  Jack,  because  he 
can  dine  with  me  every  day." 

*'  Well,  I  suppose  it  must  be  so,"  replied  Captain  Wilson, 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  283 

laughing ;  "  but  still,  I  trust,  you  will  discover  what  is 
working  in  his  mind  to  induce  him  to  give  me  that  answer, 
governor." 

"  Never  fear,  Jack  shall  confess,  and  lay  his  soul  as  bare 
as  that  of  a  Catholic  bigot  before  his  padre." 

The  party  sat  down  to  dinner,  and  what  with  the 
governor's  aide-de-camp  and  those  invited,  it  was  pretty 
numerous.  After  the  cloth  had  been  removed,  the 
governor  called  upon  Jack  for  his  stories,  whereupon,  much 
to  the  surprise  of  Captain  Wilson,  who  had  never  heard 
one  word  of  it,  for  the  admiral  had  not  mentioned  anything 
about  it  to  him  during  the  short  time  the  Aurora  was  with 
the  Toulon  fleet,  our  hero  gave  the  governor  and  the 
company  the  narrative  of  all  that  happened  in  the  Mary  Ann 
transport — the  loves  of  Captain  Hogg  and  Miss  Hicks — the 
adventures  of  Gascoigne — and  his  plan,  by  which  he 
baulked  them  all.  The  governor  was  delighted,  and 
Captain  Wilson  not  a  little  astonished. 

"  You  prevented  a  very  foolish  thing,  Mr  Easy,  and 
behaved  very  well,"  observed  the  captain,  laughing  again 
at  the  idea  ;  "  but  you  never  told  me  of  all  this." 

"No,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  "I  have  always  reserved  my 
stories  for  the  governor's  table,  where  I  am  sure  to  meet 
you,  and  then  telling  once  does  for  all." 

Jack  received  his  appointment  as  orderly  midshipman, 
and  everything  went  on  well ;  for,  of  his  own  accord,  he 
stayed  on  board  the  major  part  of  the  day  to  learn  his 
duty,  which  very  much  pleased  the  captain  and  Mr 
Pottyfar.  In  this  Jack  showed  a  great  deal  of  good  sense, 
and  Captain  Wilson  did  not  repent  of  the  indulgence  he 
had  shown  him.  Jack's  health  improved  daily,  much  to 
Mr  Pottyfar's  satisfaction,  who  imagined  that  he  took  the 
universal  medicine  night  and  morning.  Gascoigne  also 
was  a  patient  under  the  first  lieutenant's  hands,  and  often 
on  shore  with  our  hero,  who  thought  no  more  of  quitting 
the  service. 

For  seven  weeks  they  had  now  remained  in  harbour, 
for  even  the  masts  had  to  be  made,  when,  one  day,  Captain 


284  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

Wilson  opened  a  letter  he  received  at  breakfast-time,  and 
having  read  it,  laid  it  down  with  the  greatest  surprise 
depicted  in  his  countenance.  "  Good  heavens  !  what  can 
this  mean  ? "  said  he. 

"  What's  the  matter,  Wilson  ? "  said  the  governor. 

"  Just  hear  its  contents.  Sir  Thomas." 

Captain  Wilson  then  read  in  Spanish  as  follows  :— 

"Honourable  Sir, 
*'  It  is  my  duty  to  advise  you  that  the  Honourable  Lady 
Signora  Alforgas  de  Guzman,  now  deceased,  has,  in  her 
testament,  bequeathed  to  you  the  sum  of  one  thousand 
doubloons  in  gold  as  a  testimony  of  your  kind  services 
on  the  night  of  the  12th  of  August.  If  you  will  authorise 
any  merchant  here  to  receive  the  money,  it  shall  be  paid 
forthwith,  or  remitted  in  any  way  you  please  to  appoint. 
May  you  live  a  thousand  years  ! 

"  Your  most  obedient  servant, 

"  Alfonzo  Xerez." 

Jack  heard  the  letter  read,  rose  quietly,  whistled  low, 
as  if  not  attending  to  it,  and  then  slipped  out  of  the  room, 
unperceived  by  the  governor  or  Captain  Wilson. 

The  fact  was,  that  although  Jack  had  longed  to  tell  the 
governor  about  his  adventures  after  the  masquerade,  he 
did  not  like  yet  awhile,  until  he  was  sure  that  there  were 
no  consequences — because  he  had  given  the  captain's  name 
instead  of  his  own.  As  soon  as  he  heard  the  letter  read, 
he  at  once  perceived  that  it  had  been  the  old  lady,  and 
not  the  priests,  who  had  made  the  inquiry,  and  that  by 
giving  Captain  Wilson's  name,  he  had  obtained  for  him 
this  fine  legacy.  Jack  was  delighted,  but  still  puzzled, 
so  he  walked  out  of  the  room  to  reflect  a  little. 

"What  can  it  mean  ? "  said  Captain  Wilson.  "  I  never 
rendered  any  services  to  any  one  on  the  1 2th  of  August 
or  after  it.  It  is  some  mistake — 1 2  th  of  August — that 
was  the  day  of  the  grand  masquerade." 

"  A  lucky  one  for  you,  at  all  events — for  you  know, 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  285 

mistake  or  not,  no  one  else  can  touch  the  legacy.  It  can 
only  be  paid  to  you." 

"I  never  heard  of  anything  taking  place  at  the  mas- 
querade— I  was  there,  but  I  left  early,  for  I  was  not  very 
well.  Mr  Easy,"  said  Captain  Wilson,  turning  round ; 
but  Jack  was  gone. 

"  Was  he  at  the  masquerade  ? "  asked  the  governor. 

"  Yes,  I  know  he  was,  for  the  first  lieutenant  told  me 
that  he  requested  not  to  come  on  board  till  the  next 
day." 

"Depend  upon  it,"  replied  the  governor,  striking  his 
fist  upon  the  table,  "  that  Jack's  at  the  bottom  of  it." 

**  I  should  not  be  surprised  at  his  being  at  the  bottom 
of  anything,"  replied  Captain  Wilson,  laughing. 

"  Leave  it  to  me,  Wilson ;  I'll  find  it  out." 

After  a  little  more  conversation,  Captain  Wilson  went 
on  board,  leaving  Jack  on  purpose  that  the  governor 
might  pump  him.  But  this.  Sir  Thomas  had  no  occasion 
to  do,  for  Jack  had  made  up  his  mind  to  make  the 
governor  his  confidant,  and  he  immediately  told  him  the 
whole  story.  The  governor  held  his  sides  at  our  hero's 
description,  especially  at  his  ruse  of  giving  the  captain's 
name  instead  of  his  own. 

"  You'll  kill  me.  Jack,  before  you've  done  with  me," 
said  old  Tom,  at  last ;  "  but  now,  what  is  to  be  done  ?  " 

Our  hero  now  became  grave ;  he  pointed  out  to  the 
governor  that  he  himself  had  plenty  of  money,  and  would 
come  into  a  large  fortune,  and  that  Captain  Wilson  was 
poor,  with  a  large  family.  All  Jack  wished  the  governor 
to  manage  was,  that  Captain  Wilson  might  consent  to 
accept  the  legacy. 

"Right,  boy,  right!  you're  my  own  boy,"  replied  the 
governor,  "  but  we  must  think  of  this,  for  Wilson  is  the 
very  soul  of  honour,  and  there  may  be  some  difficulty 
about  it.     You  have  told  nobody  ?  " 

"  Not  a  soul  but  you.  Sir  Thomas." 

"  It  will  never  do  to  tell  him  all  this,  Jack,  for  he  would 
insist  that  the  legacy  belonged  to  you." 


2  86  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"I  have  it,  sir,"  replied  Jack.  "When  I  was  going 
into  the  masquerade,  I  offered  to  hand  this  very  old  lady, 
who  was  covered  with  diamonds,  out  of  her  carriage,  and 
she  was  so  frightened  at  my  dress  of  a  devil,  that  she 
would  have  fallen  down  had  it  not  been  for  Captain 
Wilson,  who  supported  her,  and  she  was  very  thankful 
to  him." 

"  You  are  right,  Jack,"  replied  the  governor,  after  a 
short  pause  :  "  that  will,  I  think,  do.  I  must  tell  him  the 
story  of  the  friars,  because  I  swore  you  had  something  to 
do  with  it — but  I'll  tell  him  no  more  :  leave  it  all  to  me." 

Captain  Wilson  returned  in  the  afternoon,  and  found  the 
governor  in  the  veranda. 

"  I  have  had  some  talk  with  young  Easy,"  said  the 
governor,  "  and  he  has  told  me  a  strange  story  about  that 
night,  which  he  was  afraid  to  tell  to  everybody." 

The  governor  then  narrated  the  history  of  the  friars  and 
the  will. 

"  Well,  but,"  observed  Captain  Wilson,  "  the  history  of 
that  will  afford  no  clue  to  the  legacy." 

"  No,  it  does  not ;  but  still,  as  I  said.  Jack  had  a  hand 
in  this.  He  frightened  the  old  lady  as  a  devil,  and  you 
caught  her  in  your  arms  and  saved  her  from  falling,  so  he 
had  a  hand  in  it,  you  see." 

**  I  do  now  remember  that  I  did  save  a  very  dowager- 
like old  personage  from  falling  at  the  sight  of  a  devil,  who, 
of  course,  must  have  been  our  friend  Easy." 

"  Well,  and  that  accounts  for  the  whole  of  it." 

"  A  thousand  doubloons  for  picking  up  an  old  lady !  " 

"  Yes,  why  not  ? — have  you  not  heard  of  a  man  having 
a  fortune  left  him  for  merely  opening  the  pew  door  of  a 
church,  to  an  old  gentleman  ?  " 

*'  Yes,  but  it  appears  so  strange." 

"  There's  nothing  strange  in  this  world,  Wilson,  nothing 
at  all — we  may  slave  for  years  and  get  no  reward,  and  do 
a  trifle  out  of  politeness  and  become  independent.  In  my 
opinion,  this  mystery  is  unravelled.  The  old  lady,  for  I 
knew  the  family,  must   have  died   immensely  rich  :  she 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  287 

knew  you  in  your  full  uniform,  and  she  asked  your  name  ; 
a  heavy  fall  would  have  been  to  one  so  fat  a  most  serious 
affair  •,  you  saved  her,  and  she  has  rewarded  you  hand- 
somely." 

"Well,"  replied  Captain  Wilson,  "  as  I  can  give  no 
other  explanation,  I  suppose  yours  is  the  correct  one  ;  but 
it's  hardly  fair  to  take  a  thousand  doubloons  from  her 
relations  merely  for  an  act  of  civility." 

*'  You  really  are  quite  ridiculous  j  the  old  lady  owned 
half  Murcia,  to  my  knowledge.  It  is  no  more  to  them 
than  any  one  leaving  you  a  suit  of  mourning  in  an  English 
legacy.  I  wish  you  joy  j  it  will  help  you  with  a  large 
family,  and  in  justice  to  them  you  are  bound  to  take  it. 
Everybody  does  as  he  pleases  with  his  own  money, — 
depend  upon  it,  you  saved  her  from  breaking  her  leg  short 
off  at  the  hip  joint." 

"Upon  that  supposition  I  presume  I  must  accept  of  the 
legacy,"  replied  Captain  Wilson,  laughing. 

"  Of  course  j  send  for  it  at  once.  The  rate  of  exchange 
is  now  high.  I  will  give  you  government  bills,  which 
will  make  it  nearly  four  thousand  pounds." 

"  Four  thousand  pounds  for  preventing  an  old  woman 
from  falling,"  replied  Captain  Wilson. 

"  Devilish  well  paid,  Wilson,  and  I  congratulate  you." 

"  For  how  much  am  I  indebted  to  the  father  of  young 
Easy ! "  observed  Captain  Wilson,  after  a  silence  of  some 
minutes  ;  "  if  he  had  not  assisted  me  when  I  was  appointed 
to  a  ship,  I  should  not  have  gained  my  promotion — nor 
three  thousand  pounds  I  have  made  in  prize-money — the 
command  of  a  fine  frigate — and  now  four  thousand  pounds 
in  a  windfall." 

The  governor  thought  that  he  was  more  indebted  to 
Jack  than  to  his  father  for  some  of  these  advantages,  but 
he  was  careful  not  to  point  them  out. 

"  It's  very  true,"  observed  the  governor,  "  that  Mr  Easy 
was  of  service  to  you  when  you  were  appointed ;  but  allow 
me  to  observe,  that  for  your  ship,  your  prize-money,  and 
for  your  windfall,  you  have  been  wholly  indebted  to  your 


288  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

own  gallantry,  in  both  senses  of  the  word  j  still  Mr  Easy 
is  a  fine  generous  fellow,  and  so  is  his  son,  I  can  tell  you. 
By-the-bye,  I  had  a  long  conversation  with  him  the  other 
day." 

"  About  himself  ?  " 

"  Yes,  all  about  himself.  He  appears  to  me  to  have 
come  into  the  service  without  any  particular  motive,  and 
will  be  just  as  likely  to  leave  it  in  the  same  way.  He 
appears  to  be  very  much  in  love  with  tliat  Sicilian  noble- 
man's daughter.  I  find  that  he  has  written  to  her,  and  to 
her  brother,  since  he  has  been  here." 

"That  he  came  into  the  service  in  search  of  what  he 
never  will  find  in  this  world,  I  know  very  well ;  and  I  pre- 
sume that  he  has  found  that  out — and  that  he  will  follow 
up  the  service  is  also  very  doubtful ;  but  I  do  not  wish 
that  he  should  leave  it  yet,  it  is  doing  him  great  good," 
replied  Captain  "Wilson." 

"  I  agree  with  you  there — I  have  great  influence  with 
him,  and  he  shall  stay  yet  awhile.  He  is  heir  to  a  very 
large  fortune,  is  he  not  ? " 

"  A  clear  eight  thousand  pounds  a  year,  if  not  more." 

"  If  his  father  dies  he  must,  of  course,  leave ;  a  midship- 
man with  eight  thousand  pounds  a  year  would  indeed  be  an 
anomaly." 

"  That  the  service  could  not  permit.  It  would  be  as 
injurious  to  himself  as  it  would  to  others  about  him.  At 
present,  he  has  almost,  indeed  I  may  say  quite,  an  unlimited 
command  of  money." 

"  That's  bad,  very  bad.  I  wonder  he  behaves  so  well 
as  he  does." 

**  And  so  do  I :  but  he  really  is  a  very  superior  lad,  with 
all  his  peculiarities,  and  a  general  favourite  with  those 
whose  opinions  and  friendship  are  worth  having." 

"Well,  don't  curb  him  too  tight — for  really  he  does  not 
require  it.     He  goes  very  well  in  a  snaffle." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  289 


Chapter  XXVIII 

"  Philosophy  made  Easy  "  upon  agrarian  principles,  the  subject  of  some  un- 
easiness to  our  hero — The  first  appearance,  but  not  the  last,  of  an  im- 
portant personage. 

The  conversation  was  here  interrupted  by  a  mail  from 
England  which  they  had  been  expecting.  Captain  "Wilson 
retired  with  his  letters  ;  the  governor  remained  equally 
occupied  ;  and  our  hero  received  the  first  letter  ever  written 
to  him  by  his  father.  It  ran  as  follows  : — 
**  My  dear  Son, 

"  I  have  many  times  taken  up  my  pen  with  the  intention 
of  letting  you  know  how  things  went  on  in  this  country. 
But  as  I  can  perceive  around  but  one  dark  horizon  of  evil, 
I  have  as  often  laid  it  down  again  without  venturing  to  make 
you  unhappy  with  such  bad  intelligence. 

"The  account  of  your  death,  and  also  of  your  un- 
expectedly being  yet  spared  to  us,  were  duly  received,  and 
I  trust,  I  mourned  and  rejoiced  on  each  occasion  with  all 
the  moderation  characteristic  of  a  philosopher.  In  the  first 
instance  I  consoled  myself  with  the  reflection  that  the 
world  you  had  left  was  in  a  state  of  slavery,  and  pressed 
down  by  the  iron  arm  of  despotism,  and  that  to  die  was 
gain,  not  only  in  all  the  parson  tells  us,  but  also  in  our 
liberty ;  and,  at  the  second  intelligence,  I  moderated  my 
joy  for  nearly  about  the  same  reasons,  resolving,  notwith- 
standing what  Dr  Middleton  may  say,  to  die  as  I  have  lived, 
a  true  philospher. 

"  The  more  I  reflect  the  more  am  I  convinced  that  there 
is  nothing  required  to  make  this  world  happy  but  equality, 
and  the  rights  of  n  an  being  duly  observed — in  short,  that 
everything  and  eve  rybody  should  be  reduced  to  one  level. 
Do  we  not  observe  that  it  is  the  law  of  nature — do  not 
brooks  run  into  rivers — rivers  into  seas — mountains  crumble 
down  upon  the  plains  ? — are  not  the  seasons  contented  to 
equalise  the  parts  of  the  earth  ?     Why  does  the  sun  run 

E  T 


290  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

round  the  ecliptic,  instead  of  the  equator  but  to  give  an 
equal  share  of  his  heat  to  both  sides  of  the  world  ?  Are 
we  not  all  equally  born  in  misery  ?  does  not  death  level  us 
all  aequo pede,  as  the  poet  hath  ?  are  we  not  all  equally  hungry, 
thirsty,  and  sleepy,  and  thus  levelled  by  our  natural  wants  ? 
And  such  being  the  case,  ought  we  not  to  have  our  equal 
share  of  good  things  in  this  world,  to  which  we  have  un- 
doubted equal  right  ?  Can  any  argument  be  more  solid  or 
more  level  than  this,  whatever  nonsense  Dr  Middleton  may 
talk  ? 

"  Yes,  my  son,  if  it  were  not  that  I  still  hope  to  see  the 
sun  of  Justice  arise,  and  disperse  the  manifold  dark  clouds 
which  obscure  the  land — if  I  did  not  still  hope,  in  my 
time,  to  see  an  equal  distribution  of  property — an  Agrarian 
law  passed  by  the  House  of  Commons,  in  which  all  should 
benefit  alike — I  would  not  care  how  soon  I  left  this  vale 
of  tears,  created  by  tyranny  and  injustice.  At  present, 
the  same  system  is  carried  on ;  the  nation  is  taxed  for  the 
benefit  of  the  few,  and  it  groans  under  oppression  and 
despotism ;  but  I  still  do  think  that  there  is,  if  I  may 
fortunately  express  myself,  a  bright  star  in  the  west ; 
and  signs  of  the  times  which  comfort  me.  Already  we 
have  had  a  good  deal  of  incendiarism  about  the  country, 
and  some  of  the  highest  aristocracy  have  pledged  them- 
selves to  raise  the  people  above  themselves,  and  have 
advised  sedition  and  conspiracy ;  have  shown  to  the 
debased  and  unenlightened  multitude  that  their  force 
is  physically  irresistible,  and  recommended  them  to  make 
use  of  it,  promising  that  if  they  hold  in  power,  they  will 
only  use  that  power  to  the  abolition  of  our  farce .  of  a 
constitution,  of  a  church,  and  of  a  king ;  and  that  if  the 
nation  is  to  be  governed  at  all,  it  shall  only  be  governed  by 
the  many.  This  is  cheering.  Hail,  patriot  lords  !  all  hail ! 
I  am  in  hopes  yet  that  the  great  work  will  be  achieved, 
in  spite  of  the  laughs  and  sneers  and  shakes  of  the  head, 
which  my  arguments  still  meet  with  from  that  obstinate 
fellow,  Dr  Middleton. 

"  Your  mother  is  in  a  quiet  way ;  she  has  given  over 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  291 

reading  and  working,  and  even  her  knitting,  as  useless ; 
and  she  now  sits  all  day  long  at  the  chimney  corner 
twiddling  her  thumbs,  and  waiting,  as  she  says,  for  the 
millennium.  Poor  thing !  she  is  very  foolish  with  her 
ideas  upon  this  matter,  but  as  usual  I  let  her  have  her  own 
way  in  everything,  copying  the  philosopher  of  old,  who 
was  tied  to  his  Xantippe. 

"  I  trust,  my  dear  son,  that  your  principles  have 
strengthened  with  your  years  and  fortified  with  your 
growth,  and  that,  if  necessary,  you  will  sacrifice  all  to 
obtain  what  in  my  opinion  will  prove  to  be  the  real 
millennium.  Make  all  the  converts  you  can,  and  believe 
me  to  be, 

"  Your  affectionate  father,  and  true  guide, 
"  NicoDEMus  Easy." 

Jack,  who  was  alone,  shook  his  head  as  he  read  this 
letter,  and  then  laid  it  down  with  a  pish!  He  did  it 
involuntarily,  and  was  surprised  at  himself  when  he  found 
that  he  had  so  done.  "  I  should  like  to  argue  the  point," 
thought  Jack,  in  spite  of  himself ;  and  then  he  threw  the 
letter  on  the  table,  and  went  into  Gascoigne's  room, 
displeased  with  his  father  and  with  himself.  He  asked 
Ned  whether  he  had  received  any  letters  from  England, 
and,  it  being  near  dinner-time,  went  back  to  dress.  On 
his  coming  down  into  the  receiving-room  with  Gascoigne, 
the  governor  said  to  them, — 

"  As  you  both  speak  Italian,  you  must  take  charge  of  a 
Sicilian  officer,  who  has  come  here  with  letters  of  introduc- 
tion to  me,  and  who  dines  here  to-day." 

Before  dinner  they  were  introduced  to  the  party  in 
question,  a  slight-made,  well-looking  young  man,  but 
still  there  was  an  expression  in  his  countenance  which 
was  not  agreeable.  In  compliance  with  the  wishes  of 
the  governor,  Don  Mathias,  for  so  he  was  called,  was 
placed  between  our  two  midshipmen,  who  immediately 
entered  into  conversation  with  him,  being  themselves 
anxious  to  make  enquiries  about  their  friends  at  Palermo. 


292  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

In  the  course  of  conversation.  Jack  enquired  of  him 
whether  he  was  acquainted  with  Don  Rebiera,  to  which 
the  Sicihan  answered  in  the  affirmative,  and  they  talked 
about  the  different  members  of  the  family.  Don  Mathias, 
towards  the  close  of  the  dinner,  enquired  of  Jack  by  what 
means  he  had  become  acquainted  with  Don  Rebiera,  and 
Jack,  in  reply,  narrated  how  he  and  his  friend  Gascoigne 
had  saved  him  from  being  murdered  by  two  villains  ;  after 
this  reply  the  young  officer  appeared  to  be  less  inclined  for 
conversation,  but  before  the  party  broke  up,  requested  to 
have  the  acquaintance  of  our  two  midshipmen.  As  soon 
as  he  was  gone,  Gascoigne  observed  in  a  reflective  way, 
*'  I  have  seen  that  face  before,  but  where  I  cannot  exactly 
say ;  but  you  know.  Jack,  what  a  memory  of  people  I 
have,  and  I  have  seen  him  before,  I  am  sure." 

"  I  can't  recollect  that  ever  I  have,"  replied  our  hero, 
**  but  I  never  knew  any  one  who  could  recollect  in  that 
way  as  you  do." 

The  conversation  was  then  dropped  between  them,  and 
Jack  was  for  some  time  listening  to  the  governor  and 
Captain  Wilson,  for  the  whole  party  were  gone  away, 
when  Gascoigne,  who  had  been  in  deep  thought  since  he 
had  made  the  observation  to  Jack,  sprang  up. 

*'  I  have  him  at  last !  "  cried  he. 

**  Have  who  ?  "  demanded  Captain  Wilson. 

"  That  Silician  officer — I  could  have  sworn  that  I  had 
seen  him  before." 

"  That  Don  Mathias  ?  " 

"  No,  Sir  Thomas  !  He  is  not  Don  Mathias  !  He  is 
the  very  Don  Silvio  who  was  murdering  Don  Rebiera, 
when  we  came  to  his  assistance  and  saved  him." 

"  I  do  believe  you  are  right,  Gascoigne." 

"  I'm  positive  of  it,"  replied  Gascoigne ;  '*  I  never 
made  a  mistake  in  my  life." 

"  Bring  me  those  letters,  Easy,"  said  the  governor, 
*'  and  let  us  see  what  they  say  of  him.  Here  it  is — Don 
Mathias  de  Alayeres.  You  may  be  mistaken,  Gascoigne;  it 
is  a  heavy  charge  you  are  making  against  this  young  man." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  293 

"Well,  Sir  Thomas,  if  that  is  not  Don  Silvio,  I'd 
forfeit  my  commission  if  I  had  it  here  in  my  hand. 
Besides,  I  observed  the  change  in  his  countenance  when 
we  told  him  it  was  Easy  and  I  who  had  come  to  Don 
Rebiera's  assistance ;  and  did  you  observe  after  that,  Easy, 
that  he  hardly  said  a  word." 

"Very  true,"  replied  Jack. 

"Well,  well,  we  must  see  to  this,"  observed  the 
governor  j  "  if  so,  this  letter  of  introduction  must  be  a 
forgery." 

The  party  then  retired  to  bed,  and  the  next  morning, 
while  Easy  was  in  Gascoigne's  room  talking  over  their 
suspicions,  letters  from  Palermo  were  brought  up  to  him. 
They  were  in  answer  to  those  written  by  Jack  on  his 
arrival  at  Malta:  a  few  lines  from  Don  Rebiera,  a  small 
note  from  Agnes,  and  a  voluminous  detail  from  his  friend 
Don  Philip,  who  informed  him  of  the  good  health  of  all 
parties,  and  of  their  good-will  towards  him ;  of  Agnes 
being  as  partial  as  ever  ;  of  his  having  spoken  plainly,  as 
he  had  promised  Jack,  to  his  father  and  mother  relative  to 
the  mutual  attachment ;  of  their  consent  being  given,  and 
then  withheld,  because  Father  Thomas,  their  confessor, 
would  not  listen  to  the  union  of  Agnes  with  a  heretic  j 
but  nevertheless  telling  Jack  that  this  would  be  got  over 
through  the  medium  of  his  brother  and  himself,  who  were 
determined  that  their  sister  and  he  should  not  be  made 
unhappy  about  such  a  trifle.  But  the  latter  part  of  the 
letter  contained  intelligence  equally  important,  which  was, 
that  Don  Silvio  had  again  attempted  the  life  of  their  father, 
and  would  have  succeeded,  had  not  Father  Thomas,  who 
happened  to  be  there,  thrown  himself  between  them. 
That  Don  Silvio  in  his  rage  had  actually  stabbed  the  con- 
fessor, although  the  wound  was  not  dangerous.  That  in 
consequence  of  this,  all  further  lenity  was  denied  to  him, 
and  the  authorities  were  in  search  of  him  to  award  him  the 
punishment  due  to  murder  and  sacrilege.  That  up  to  the 
present  they  could  not  find  him,  and  it  was  supposed  that 
he  had  made  his  escape  to  Malta  in  one  of  the  speronares. 


294  ^r  Midshipman  Easy 

Such  were  the  contents  of  the  letter,  which  were  im- 
mediately communicated  to  the  governor  and  Captain 
Wilson,  upon  their  meeting  at  breakfast. 

"Very  well,  we  must  see  to  this,"  observed  the 
governor,  who  then  made  his  enquiries  as  to  the.  other 
intelligence  contained  in  the  letters. 

Jack  and  Gascoigne  were  uneasy  till  the  breakfast  was 
over,  when  they  made  their  escape  :  a  few  moments  after- 
wards Captain  Wilson  rose  to  go  on  board,  and  sent  for 
them,  but  they  were  not  to  be  found. 

"  I  understand  it  all,  Wilson,"  said  the  governor ; 
"  leave  them  to  me ;  go  on  board  and  make  yourself  quite 
easy." 

In  the  meantime  our  two  midshipmen  had  taken  their 
hats  and  walked  away  to  the  parapet  of  the  battery,  where 
they  would  not  be  interrupted. 

"  Now,  Gascoigne,"  observed  Jack,  **  you  guess  what 
I'm  about — I  must  shoot  tlat  rascal  this  very  morning,  and 
that's  why  I  came  out  with  you." 

"  But,  Easy,  the  only  difference  is  this,  that  I  must 
shoot  him,  and  not  you ;  he  is  my  property,  for  I  found 
him  out." 

"  We'll  argue  that  point,"  replied  Jack :  **  he  has 
attempted  the  life  of  my  is-to-be,  please  God,  father-in- 
law,  and  therefore  I  have  the  best  claim  to  him." 

'*  I  beg  your  pardon,  Jack,  he  is  mine,  for  I  discovered 
him.  Now  let  me  put  a  case :  suppose  one  man  walking 
several  yards  before  another,  picks  up  a  purse,  what  claim 
has  the  other  to  it  ?     I  found  him,  and  not  you." 

*'  That's  all  very  well,  Gascoigne ;  but  suppose  the 
purse  you  picked  up  to  be  mine,  then  I  have  a  right  to  it, 
although  you  found  it ;  he  is  my  bird  by  right,  and  not 
yours." 

"  But  I  have  another  observation  to  make,  which  is  very 
important ;  he  is  a  blood  relation  of  Agnes,  and  if  his 
blood  is  on  your  hands,  however  much  he  may  deserve  it, 
depend  upon  it,  it  will  be  raised  as  an  obstacle  to  your 
union  :  think  of  that." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  295 

Jack  paused  in  thought. 

**  And  let  me  induce  you  by  another  remark — you  will 
confer  on  me  a  most  particular  favour." 

**  It  will  be  the  greatest  I  ever  could,"  replied  Jack, 
'*  and  you  ought  to  be  eternally  indebted  to  me." 

**  I  trust  to  make  him  eternally  indebted  to  me,"  replied 
Gascoigne. 

Sailors,  if  going  into  action,  always  begin  to  reckon 
what  their  share  of  the  prize-money  may  be,  before  a 
shot  is  fired — our  two  midshipmen  appear  in  this  instance 
to  be  doing  the  same. 

The  point  having  been  conceded  to  Gascoigne,  Jack 
went  to  the  inn  where  Don  Silvio  had  mentioned  that  he 
had  taken  up  his  quarters,  and  sending  up  his  card, 
followed  the  waiter  up-stairs.  The  waiter  opened  the 
door,  and  presented  the  card. 

"Very  well,"  replied  Don  Silvio,  "you  can  go  down 
and  show  him  up.*' 

Jack  hearing  these  words,  did  not  wait,  but  walked  in, 
where  he  found  Don  Silvio  very  busy  removing  a  hone 
upon  which  he  had  been  whetting  a  sharp  double-edged 
stiletto.  The  Sicilian  walked  up  to  him,  offering  his 
hand  with  apparent  cordiality  ;  but  Jack,  with  a  look  of 
defiance,  said,  "  Don  Silvio,  we  know  you  ;  my  object 
now  is  to  demand,  on  the  part  of  my  friend,  the  satis- 
faction which  you  do  not  deserve,  but  which  our  indigna- 
tion at  your  second  attempt  upon  Don  Rebiera  induces 
us  to  offer ;  for  if  you  escape  from  him  you  will  have 
to  do  with  me.  On  the  whole,  Don  Silvio,  you  may 
think  yourself  fortunate,  for  it  is  better  to  die  by  the 
hands  of  a  gentleman  than  by  the  gibbet." 

Don  Silvio  turned  deadly  pale — his  hand  sought  his 
stiletto  in  his  bosom,  but  it  was  remaining  on  the  table  j 
at  last  he  replied,  "Be  it  so — I  will  meet  you  when  and 
where  you  please,  in  an  hour  from  this." 

Jack  mentioned  the  place  of  meeting,  and  then  walked 
out  of  the  room.  He  and  Gascoigne  then  hastened  to 
the  quarters  of  an  officer  they  were  intimate  with,  and 


296  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

having  provided  themselves  with  the  necessary  fire-arms, 
were  at  the  spot  before  the  time.  They  waited  for 
him  till  the  exact  time,  yet  no  Don  Silvio  made  his 
appearance. 

"  He's  off,"  observed  Gascoigne ;  "  the  villain  has 
escaped  us." 

Half  an  hour  over  the  time  had  passed,  and  still  there 
was  no  sign  of  Gascoigne's  antagonist,  but  one  of  the 
governor's  aides-de-camp  was  seen  walking  up  to  them. 

"  Here's  Atkins,"  observed  Jack;  "that's  unlucky,  but 
he  won't  interfere." 

"  Gentlemen,"  said  Atkins,  taking  off  his  hat  with 
much  solemnity,  "  the  governor  particularly  wishes  to 
speak  to  you  both." 

"  We  can't  come  just  now — we'll  be  there  in  half  an 
hour." 

"  You  must  be  there  in  three  minutes,  both  of  you. 
Excuse  me,  my  orders  are  positive — and  to  see  them 
duly  executed  I  have  a  corporal  and  a  file  of  men  behind 
that  wall — of  course,  if  you  walk  with  me  quietly  there 
will  be  no  occasion  to  send  for  their  assistance." 

"This  is  confounded  tyranny,"  cried  Jack.  "Well 
may  they  call  him  '  King  Tom.' " 

"Yes,"  replied  Atkins,  "and  he  governs  herein  *  rey 
absoluto^ — so  come  along." 

Jack  and  Gascoigne,  having  no  choice,  walked  up  to 
the  government  house,  where  they  found  Sir  Thomas  in 
the  veranda,  which  commanded  a  view  of  the  harbour 
and  offing. 

"Come  here,  young  gentleman,"  said  the  governor, 
in  a  severe  tone  ;  "  do  you  see  that  vessel  about  two 
miles  clear  of  the  port  ?  Don  Silvio  is  in  it,  going  back 
to  Sicily  under  a  guard.  And  now  remember  what  I  say 
as  a  maxim  through  life.  Fight  with  gentlemen,  if  you 
must  fight,  but  not  with  villains  and  murderers.  By 
'consenting^  to  fight  with  a  '  blackguard j'  you  as  much 
disparage  your  cJoth  and  compromise  your  own  characters, 
as  by  refusing  to  give  satisfaction  to  a  '  gentleman.^     There, 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  297 

go  away,  for  I'm  angry  with  you,  and  don't  let  me  see 
you  till  dinner-time." 


Chapter  XXIX 

In  which  our  hero  sees  a  little  more  service,  and  is  better  employed  than 
in  fighting  Don  Silvio. 

But  before  they  met  the  governor  at  his  table,  a  sloop  of 
war  arrived  from  the  fleet  with  despatches  from  the 
commander-in-chief.  Those  to  Captain  Wilson  required 
him  to  make  all  possible  haste  in  fitting,  and  then  to 
proceed  and  cruise  off  Corsica,  to  fall  in  v/ith  a  Russian 
frigate  which  was  on  that  coast ;  if  not  there,  to  obtain 
intelligence,  and  to  follow  her  wherever  she  might  be. 

All  was  now  bustle  and  activity  on  board  of  the  Aurora. 
Captain  Wilson,  with  our  hero  and  Gascoigne,  quitted 
the  governor's  house  and  repaired  on  board,  where  they 
remained  day  and  night.  On  the  third  day  the  Aurora 
was  complete  and  ready  for  sea,  and  about  noon  sailed 
out  of  Valette  Harbour. 

In  a  week  the  Aurora  had  gained  the  coast  of  Corsica, 
and  there  was  no  need  of  sending  look-out  men  to  the 
mast-head,  for  one  of  the  officers  or  midshipmen  was 
there  from  daylight  to  dark.  She  ran  up  the  coast  to 
the  northward  without  seeing  the  object  of  her  pursuit, 
or  obtaining  any  intelligence. 

Calms  and  light  airs  detained  them  for  a  few  days, 
when  a  northerly  breeze  enabled  them  to  run  down  the 
eastern  side  of  the  island.  It  was  on  the  eighteenth  day 
after  they  had  quitted  Malta,  that  a  large  vessel  was  seen 
ahead  about  eighteen  miles  off.  The  men  were  then  at 
breakfast. 

"  A  frigate.  Captain  Wilson,  I'm  sure  of  it,"  said  Mr 
Hawkins,  the  chaplain,  whose  anxiety  induced  him  to  go 
to  the  mast-head. 

"  How  is  she  steering  ? " 


298  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  The  same  way  as  we  are." 

The  Aurora  was  under  all  possible  sail,  and  when  the 
hands  were  piped  to  dinner,  it  was  thought  that  they  had 
neared  the  chase  about  two  miles. 

**  This  will  be  a  long  chase ;  a  stern  chase  always  is," 
observed  Martin  to  Gascoigne. 

"  Yes,  I'm  afraid  so^but  I'm  more  afraid  of  her 
escaping." 

"  That's  not  unlikely  either,"  replied  the  mate. 

"  You  are  one  of  Job's  comforters,  Martin,"  replied 
Gascoigne. 

"  Then  I'm  not  so  often  disappointed,"  replied  the  mate. 
"  There  are  two  points  to  be  ascertained ;  the  first  is, 
whether  we  shall  come  up  with  the  vessel  or  lose  her — 
the  next  is,  if  we  do  come  up  with  her,  whether  she  is 
the  vessel  we  are  looking  for." 

**  You  seem  very  indifferent  about  it." 

**  Indeed  I  am  not :  I  am  the  oldest  passed  midshipman 
in  the  ship,  and  the  taking  of  the  frigate  will,  if  I  live, 
give  me  my  promotion,  and  if  I'm  killed,  I  shan't  want 
it.  But  I've  been  so  often  disappointed,  that  I  now  make 
sure  of  nothing  until  I  have  it." 

"  Well,  for  your  sake,  Martin,  I  will  still  hope  that 
the  vessel  is  the  one  we  seek,  that  we  shall  not  be  killed, 
and  that  you  will  gain  your  promotion." 

"  I  thank  you.  Easy — I  wish  I  was  one  that  dared  hope 
as  you  do." 

Poor  Martin !  he  had  long  felt  how  bitter  it  was  to 
meet  disappointment  upon  disappointment.  How  true  it 
is,  that  hope  deferred  maketh  the  heart  sick !  and  his 
anticipations  of  early  days,  the  buoyant  calculations  of 
youth,  had  been  one  by  one  crushed,  and  now,  having 
served  his  time  nearly  three  times  over,  the  reaction  had 
become  too  painful,  and,  as  he  truly  said,  he  dared  not 
hope :  still  his  temper  was  not  soured,  but  chastened. 

"  She  has  hauled  her  wind,  sir,"  hailed  the  second 
lieutenant  from  the  topmast  cross-trees. 

*'  What  think  you  of  that,  Martin  ? "  observed  Jack. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  299 

**  Either  that  she  is  an  English  frigate,  or  that  she  is 
a  vessel  commanded  by  a  very  brave  fellow,  and  well- 
manned." 

It  was  sunset  before  the  Aurora  had  arrived  within  two 
miles  of  the  vessel ;  the  private  signal  had  been  thrown 
out,  but  had  not  been  answered,  either  because  it  was 
too  dark  to  make  out  the  colours  of  the  flags,  or  that 
these  were  unknown  to  an  enemy.  The  stranger  had 
hoisted  the  English  colours,  but  that  was  no  satisfactory 
proof  of  her  being  a  friend;  and  just  before  dark  she 
had  put  her  head  towards  the  Aurora^  who  had  now 
come  stem  down  to  her.  The  ship's  company  of  the 
Aurora  were  all  at  their  quarters,  as  a  few  minutes  would 
now  decide  whether  they  had  to  deal  with  a  friend  or  foe. 

There  is  no  situation  perhaps  more  difficult,  and  demand- 
ing so  much  caution,  as  the  occasional  meeting  with  a 
doubtful  ship.  On  the  one  hand,  it  being  necessary 
to  be  fully  prepared,  and  not  allow  the  enemy  the  ad- 
vantage which  may  be  derived  from  your  inaction ;  and  on 
the  other,  the  necessity  of  prudence,  that  you  may  not 
assault  your  friends  and  countrymen.  Captain  "Wilson  had 
hoisted  the  private  night-signal,  but  here  again  it  was 
difficult,  from  his  sails  intervening,  for  the  other  ship  to 
make  it  out.  Before  the  two  frigates  were  within  three 
cables'  length  of  each  other.  Captain  Wilson,  determined 
that  there  should  be  no  mistake  from  any  want  of  pre- 
caution on  his  part,  hauled  up  his  courses  and  brailed 
up  his  driver  that  the  night-signal  might  be  clearly  seen. 

Lights  were  seen  abaft  on  the  quarter-deck  of  the  other 
vessel,  as  if  they  were  about  to  answer,  but  she  continued 
to  keep  the  Aurora  to  leeward  at  about  half  a  cable's 
length,  and  as  the  foremost  guns  of  each  vessel  were 
abreast  of  each  other,  hailed  in  English — 

"  Ship  ahoy  !  what  ship's  that  ? " 

**  His  Majesty's  ship  Aurora^''  replied  Captain  Wilson, 
who  stood  on  the  hammocks.     "What  ship's  that  ? " 

By  this  time  the  other  frigate  had  passed  half  her  length 
clear  of  the  beam  of  the  Aurora,  and  at  the  same  time 


300  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

that  a  pretended  reply  of  "  His  Majesty's  ship "  was 

heard,  a  broadside  from  her  guns,  which  had  been  trained 
aft  on  purpose,  was  poured  into  the  Aurora,  and  at  so 
short  a  distance,  doing  considerable  execution.  The  crew 
of  the  Aurora,  hearing  the  hailing  in  English,  and  the 
vessel  passing  them  apparently  without  firing,  had  imagined 
that  she  had  been  one  of  their  own  cruisers.  The  captains 
of  the  guns  had  dropped  their  lanyards  in  disappointment, 
and  the  silence  which  had  been  maintained  as  the  two 
vessels  met  was  just  breaking  up  in  various  ways  of 
lamentation  at  their  bad  luck,  when  the  broadside  was 
poured  in,  thundering  in  their  ears,  and  the  ripping  and 
tearing  of  the  beams  and  planks  astonished  their  senses. 
Many  were  carried  down  below,  but  it  was  difficult  to  say 
whether  indignation  at  the  enemy's  ruse,  or  satisfaction  at 
discovering  that  they  were  not  called  to  quarters  in  vain, 
most  predominated.  At  all  events,  it  was  answered 
by  three  voluntary  cheers,  which  drowned  the  cries  of 
those  who  were  being  assisted  to  the  cockpit. 

"  Man  the  larboard  guns  and  about  ship  ! "  cried 
Captain  Wilson,  leaping  off  the  hammocks.  "  Look  out, 
my  lads,  and  rake  her  in  stays  !  We'll  pay  him  off  for 
that  foul  play  before  we've  done  with  him.  Look  out, 
my  lads,  and  take  good  aim  as  she  pays  round." 

The  Aurora  was  put  about,  and  her  broadside  poured 
into  the  stern  of  the  Russian  frigate — for  such  she  was. 
It  was  almost  dark,  but  the  enemy,  who  appeared  as 
anxious  as  the  Aurora  to  come  to  action,  hauled  up  her 
courses  to  await  her  coming  up.  In  five  minutes  the  two 
vessels  were  alongside,  exchanging  murderous  broadsides 
at  little  more  than  pistol-shot — running  slowly  in  for  the 
land,  then  not  more  than  five  miles  distant.  The  skin-clad 
mountaineers  of  Corsica  were  aroused  by  the  furious 
cannonading,  watching  the  incessant  flashes  of  the  guns, 
and  listening  to  their  reverberating  roar. 

After  half-an-hour's  fierce  combat,  during  which  the 
fire  of  both  vessels  was  kept  up  with  undiminished  vigour. 
Captain  Wilson  went  down  on  the  main-deck,  and  himself 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  301 

separately  pointed  each  gun  after  it  was  loaded ;  those 
amidships  being  direct  for  the  main-channels  of  the 
enemy's  ship,  while  those  abaft  the  beam  were  gradually 
trained  more  and  more  forward,  and  those  before  the  beam 
more  and  more  aft,  so  as  to  throw  all  their  shot  nearly  into 
one  focus,  giving  directions  that  they  were  all  to  be  fired 
at  once,  at  the  word  of  command.  The  enemy,  not  aware 
of  the  cause  of  the  delay,  imagined  that  the  fire  of  the 
Aurora  had  slackened,  and  loudly  cheered.  At  the  word 
given,  the  broadside  was  poured  in,  and,  dark  as  it  was, 
the  effects  from  it  were  evident.  Two  of  the  midship 
ports  of  the  antagonist  were  blown  into  one,  and  her 
mainmast  was  seen  to  totter,  and  then  to  fall  over  the  side. 
The  Aurora  then  set  her  courses,  which  had  been  hauled 
up,  and  shooting  ahead,  took  up  a  raking  position,  while 
the  Russian  was  still  hampered  with  her  wreck,  and  poured 
in  grape  and  cannister  from  her  upper  deck  carronades  to 
impede  their  labours  on  deck,  while  she  continued  her 
destructive  fire  upon  the  hull  of  the  enemy  from  the 
main-deck  battery. 

The  moon  now  burst  out  from  a  low  bank  of  clouds, 
and  enabled  them  to  accomplish  their  work  with  more 
precision.  In  a  quarter  of  an  hour  the  Russian  was  totally 
dismasted,  and  Captain  Wilson  ordered  half  of  his  remain- 
ing ship's  company  to  repair  the  damages,  which  had  been 
most  severe,  whilst  the  larboard  men  at  quarters  continued 
the  fire  from  the  main-deck.  The  enemy  continued 
to  return  the  fire  from  four  guns,  two  on  each  of  her 
decks,  which  she  could  still  make  bear  upon  the  Aurora  \ 
but  after  some  time  even  these  ceased,  either  from  the  men 
having  deserted  them,  or  from  their  being  dismounted. 
Observing  that  the  fire  from  her  antagonist  had  ceased, 
the  Aurora  also  discontinued,  and  the  jolly-boat  astern 
being  still  uninjured,  the  second  lieutenant  was  deputed  to 
pull  alongside  of  the  frigate  to  ascertain  if  she  had  struck. 

The  beams  of  the  bright  moon  silvered  the  rippling 
water  as  the  boat  shoved  off;  and  Captain  Wilson  and  his 
officers,  who  were  still  unhurt,  leant  over  the  shattered 


302  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

sides  of  the  Aurora,  waiting  for  a  reply :  suddenly  the 
silence  of  the  night  was  broken  upon  by  a  loud  splash 
from  the  bows  of  the  Russian  frigate,  then  about  three 
cables'  length  distant. 

"What  could  that  be  ?"  cried  Captain  Wilson.  "  Her 
anchor's  down.  Mr  Jones,  a  lead  over  the  side,  and  see 
what  water  we  have." 

Mr  Jones  had  long  been  carried  down  below,  severed  in 
two  with  a  round  shot — but  a  man  leaped  into  the  chains, 
and  lowering  down  the  lead  sounded  in  seven  fathoms. 

"Then  I  suspect  he  will  give  us  more  trouble  yet," 
observed  Captain  Wilson ;  and  so  indeed  it  proved,  for  the 
Russian  captain,  in  reply  to  the  second  lieutenant,  had  told 
him  in  English,  *'  that  he  would  answer  that  question  with 
his  broadside,"  and  before  the  boat  was  dropped  astern,  he 
had  warped  round  with  the  springs  on  his  cable,  and  had 
recommenced  his  fire  upon  the  Aurora. 

Captain  Wilson  made  sail  upon  his  ship,  and  sailed  round 
and  round  the  anchored  vessel,  so  as  to  give  her  two  broad- 
sides to  her  one,  and  from  the  slowness  with  which  she 
worked  at  her  springs  upon  her  cables,  it  was  evident  that 
she  must  be  now  very  weak-handed.  Still  the  pertinacity 
and  decided  courage  of  the  Russian  captain  convinced  Cap- 
tain Wilson,  that,  in  all  probability,  he  would  sink  at  his 
anchor  before  he  would  haul  down  his  colours  j  and  not 
only  would  he  lose  more  of  the  Aurorc^s  men,  but  also  the 
Russian  vessel,  without  he  took  a  more  decided  step. 
Captain  Wilson,  therefore,  resolved  to  try  her  by  the 
board.  Having  poured  in  a  raking  fire,  he  stood  off  for  a 
few  moments,  during  which  he  called  the  officers  and  men 
on  deck,  and  stated  his  intention.  He  then  went  about, 
and  himself  conning  the  Aurora,  ran  her  on  board  the 
Russian,  pouring  in  his  reserved  broadside  as  the  vessels 
came  into  collision,  and  heading  his  men  as  they  leaped  on 
the  enemy's  decks. 

Although,  as  Captain  Wilson  had  imagined,  the  Russian 
frigate  had  not  many  men  to  oppose  to  the  Aurords,  the 
deck  was  obstinately  defended,  the  voice  and  the  arm  of 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  303 

the  Russian  captain  were  to  be  heard  and  seen  everywhere, 
and  his  men,  encouraged  by  him,  were  cut  down  by 
numbers  where  they  stood. 

Our  hero,  who  had  the  good  fortune  to  be  still  unhurt, 
was  for  a  little  while  close  to  Captain  Wilson  when  he 
boarded,  and  was  about  to  oppose  his  unequal  force  against 
that  of  the  Russian  captain,  when  he  was  pulled  back  by 
the  collar  by  Mr  Hawkins,  the  chaplain,  who  rushed  in 
advance  with  a  sabre  in  his  hand.  The  opponents  were 
well  matched,  and  it  may  be  said  that,  with  little  inter- 
ruption, a  hand-to-hand  conflict  ensued,  for  the  moon 
lighted  up  the  scene  of  carnage,  and  they  were  well  able 
to  distinguish  each  other's  faces.  At  last,  the  chaplain's 
sword  broke :  he  rushed  in,  drove  the  hilt  into  his 
antagonist's  face,  closed  with  him,  and  they  both  fell  down 
the  hatchway  together.  After  this,  the  deck  was  gained, 
or  rather  cleared,  by  the  crew  of  the  Aurora,  for  few 
could  be  said  to  have  resisted,  and  in  a  minute  or  two  the 
frigate  was  in  their  possession.  The  chaplain  and  the 
Russian  captain  were  hoisted  up,  still  clinging  to  each 
other,  both  senseless  from  the  fall,  but  neither  of  them 
dead,  although  bleeding  from  several  wounds. 

As  soon  as  the  main  deck  had  been  cleared,  Captain 
Wilson  ordered  the  hatches  to  be  put  on,  and  left  a  party 
on  board  while  he  hastened  to  attend  to  the  condition  of 
his  own  ship  and  ship's  company. 

It  was  daylight  before  anything  like  order  had  been 
restored  to  the  decks  of  the  Aurora;  the  water  was  still 
smooth,  and  instead  of  letting  go  her  own  anchor,  she  had 
hung  on  with  a  hawser  to  the  prize,  but  her  sails  had  been 
furled,  her  decks  cleared,  guns  secured,  and  the  buckets 
were  dashing  away  the  blood  from  her  planks  and  the  car- 
riages of  the  guns,  when  the  sun  rose  and  shone  upon 
them.  The  numerous  wounded  had,  by  this  time,  been  put 
into  their  hammocks,  although  there  were  still  one  or  two 
cases  of  amputation  to  be  performed. 

The  carpenter  had  repaired  all  shot-holes  under  or  too 
near  to  the  water-line,  and  then  had  proceeded  to  sound  the 


304  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

well  of  the  prize  ;  but  although  her  upper  works  had  been 
dreadfully  shattered,  there  was  no  reason  to  suppose  that 
she  had  received  any  serious  injury  below,  and  therefore 
the  hatches  still  remained  on,  although  a  few  hands  were 
put  to  the  pumps  to  try  if  she  made  any  water.  It  was 
not  until  the  Aurora  presented  a  more  cheerful  appearance 
that  Captain  Wilson  went  over  to  the  other  ship,  whose 
deck,  now  that  the  light  of  heaven  enabled  them  to 
witness  all  the  horrors  even  to  minuteness,  presented  a 
shocking  spectacle  of  blood  and  carnage.  Body  after 
body  was  thrown  over ;  the  wounded  were  supplied  with 
water  and  such  assistance  as  could  be  rendered  until  the 
surgeons  could  attend  them ;  the  hatches  were  then  taken 
off,  and  the  remainder  of  her  crew  ordered  on  deck; 
about  two  hundred  obeyed  the  summons,  but  the  lower 
deck  was  as  crowded  with  killed  and  wounded  as  was 
the  upper.  For  the  present  the  prisoners  were  handed 
over  down  into  the  fore-hold  of  the  Aurora,  which  had 
been  prepared  for  their  reception,  and  the  work  of 
separation  of  the  dead  from  the  living  then  underwent. 
After  this,  such  repairs  as  were  immediately  necessary 
were  made,  and  a  portion  of  the  Auroras  crew,  under  the 
orders  of  the  second  lieutenant,  were  sent  on  board  to 
take  charge  of  her.  It  was  not  till  the  evening  of  the 
day  after  this  night  conflict  that  the  Aurora  was  in  a 
situation  to  make  sail.  All  hands  were  then  sent  on 
board  of  the  Trident,  for  such  was  the  name  of  the 
Russian  frigate,  to  fit  her  out  as  soon  as  possible.  Before 
morning, — for  there  was  no  relaxation  from  their  fatigue, 
nor  was  there  any  wish  for  it, — all  was  completed,  and 
the  two  frigates,  although  in  a  shattered  condition,  were 
prepared  to  meet  any  common  conflict  with  the  elements. 
The  Aurora  made  sail  with  the  Trident  in  tow ;  the 
hammocks  were  allowed  to  be  taken  down,  and  the  watch 
below  permitted  to  repose. 

In  this  murderous  conflict  the  Trident  had  more  than 
two  hundred  men  killed  and  wounded.  The  Auroras 
loss  had  not  been  so  great,  but  still  it  was  severe,  having 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  305 

lost  sixty-five  men  and  officers.  Among  the  fallen  there 
were  Mr  Jones,  the  master,  the  third  lieutenant  Mr 
Arkwright,  and  two  midshipmen  killed.  Mr  Pottyfar, 
the  first  lieutenant,  severely  wounded  at  the  commence- 
ment of  the  action.  Martin  the  master's  mate,  and 
Gascoigne,  the  first  mortally,  and  the  second  badly, 
wounded.  Our  hero  had  also  received  a  slight  cutlass 
wound,  which  obliged  him  to  wear  his  arm,  for  a  short 
time,  in  a  sling. 

Among  the  ship's  company  who  were  wounded  was 
Mesty  ;  he  had  been  hurt  with  a  splinter  before  the  Trident 
was  taken  by  the  board,  but  had  remained  on  deck,  and 
had  followed  our  hero,  watching  over  him  and  protecting 
him  as  a  father.  He  had  done  even  more,  for  he  had 
with  Jack  thrown  himself  before  Captain  Wilson,  at  a 
time  that  he  had  received  such  a  blow  with  the  flat  of  a 
sword  as  to  stun  him,  and  bring  him  down  on  his  knee. 
And  Jack  had  taken  good  care  that  Captain  Wilson  should 
not  be  ignorant,  as  he  really  would  have  been,  of  this 
timely  service  on  the  part  of  Mesty,  who  certainly, 
although  with  a  great  deal  of  *  sangfroid^  in  his  composition 
when  in  repose,  was  a  fiend  incarnate  when  his  blood 
was  up. 

"But  you  must  have  been  with  Mesty,"  observed 
Captain  Wilson,  **  when  he  did  me  the  service." 

"I  was  with  him,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  with  great  modesty; 
"  but  was  of  very  little  service." 

"  How  is  your  friend  Gascoigne  this  evening  ,'' " 

*'  Oh,  not  very  bad,  sir — he  wants  a  glass  of  grog." 

"  And  Mr  Martin  ? " 

Jack  shook  his  head. 

"Why,  the  surgeon  thinks  he  will  do  well." 

"  Yes,  sir,  and  so  I  told  Martin ;  but  he  said  that  it 
was  very  well  to  give  him  hope — but  that  he  thought 
otherwise." 

"  You  must  manage  him,  Mr  Easy ;  tell  him  that  he  is 
sure  of  his  promotion." 

**  I  have,  sir,  but  he  won't  believe  it.  He  never  will 
E  u 


3o6  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

believe  it  till  he  has  his  commission  signed.  I  really 
think  that  an  acting  order  would  do  more  than  the  doctor 
can." 

"■  Well,  Mr  Easy,  he  shall  have  one  to-morrow  morning. 
Have  you  seen  Mr  Pottyfar  ?  he,  I  am  afraid,  is  very 
bad." 

"  Very  bad,  sir  j  and  they  say  is  worse  every  day,  and 
yet  his  wound  is  healthy,  and  ought  to  be  doing  well." 

Such  was  the  conversation  between  Jack  and  his  captain, 
as  they  sat  at  breakfast  on  the  third  morning  after  the 
action. 

The  next  day  Easy  took  down  an  acting  order  for 
Martin,  and  put  it  into  his  hands.  The  mate  read  it  over 
as  he  lay  bandaged  in  his  hammock. 

"  It's  only  an  acting  order,  Jack,"  said  he  j  "  it  may  not 
be  confirmed." 

Jack  swore,  by  all  the  articles  of  war,  that  it  would  be ; 
but  Martin  replied  that  he  was  sure  it  never  would. 

"No,  no,"  said  the  mate,  "I  knew  very  well  that  I 
never  should  be  made.  If  it  is  not  confirmed,  I  may  live ; 
but  if  it  is,  I  am  sure  to  die." 

Every  one  that  went  to  Martin's  hammock  wished  him 
joy  of  his  promotion ;  but  six  days  after  the  action,  poor 
Martin's  remains  were  consigned  to  the  deep. 

The  next  person  who  followed  him  was  Mr  Pottyfar, 
the  first  lieutenant,  who  had  contrived,  wounded  as  he 
was,  to  reach  a  packet  of  the  universal  medicine,  and  had 
taken  so  many  bottles  before  he  was  found  out,  that  he  was 
one  morning  found  dead  in  his  bed,  with  more  than  two 
dozen  empty  phials  under  his  pillow,  and  by  the  side  of 
his  mattress.  He  was  not  buried  with  his  hands  in  his 
pockets,  but  when  sewed  up  in  his  hammock,  they  were,  at 
all  events,  laid  in  the  right  position. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  307 


Chapter  XXX 

Modern  philanthropy,  which,  as  usual,  is  the  cause  of  much  trouble  and 
vexation. 

In  three  weeks  the  Aurora,  with  her  prize  in  tow,  arrived 
at  Malta.  The  wounded  were  sent  to  the  hospital,  and 
the  gallant  Russian  captain  recovered  from  his  wounds 
about  the  same  time  as  Mr  Hawkins,  the  chaplain. 

Jack,  who  constantly  called  to  see  the  chaplain,  had  a 
great  deal  to  do  to  console  him.  He  would  shake  his 
hands  as  he  lay  in  his  bed,  exclaiming  against  himself. 
"  Oh,"  would  he  say,  "  the  spirit  is  willing,  but  the  flesh 
is  weak.  That  I,  a  man  of  God,  as  they  term  me,  who 
ought  to  have  been  down  with  the  surgeons,  whispering 
comfort  to  the  desponding,  should  have  gone  on  deck  (but 
I  could  not  help  it),  and  have  mixed  in  such  a  scene  of 
slaughter.     What  will  become  of  me  ? " 

Jack  attempted  to  console  him  by  pointing  out,  that  not 
only  chaplains,  but  bishops,  have  been  known  to  fight  in 
armour  from  time  immemorial.  But  Mr  Hawkins's  re- 
covery was  long  doubtful,  from  the  agitation  of  his  mind. 
When  he  was  able  to  walk,  Jack  introduced  to  him  the 
Russian  captain,  who  was  also  just  out  of  his  bed. 

"  I  am  most  happy  to  embrace  so  gallant  an  officer," 
said  the  Russian,  who  recognised  his  antagonist,  throwing 
his  arms  round  the  chaplain,  and  giving  him  a  kiss  on  both 
cheeks.  "  What  is  his  rank  ? "  continued  he,  addressing 
himself  to  Jack,  who  replied,  very  quietly,  "  that  he  was 
the  ship's  padre." 

"  The  padre  I "  replied  the  captain,  with  surprise,  as 
Hawkins  turned  away  with  confusion.  "The  padre — par 
exemple !  Well,  I  always  had  a  great  respect  for  the 
church.  Pray,  sir,"  said  he,  turning  to  Easy,  "  do  your 
padres  always  head  your  boarders  ?  " 

"  Always,  sir,"  replied  Jack;  "it's  a  rule  of  the  service 


308  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

— and  the  duty  of  a  padre  to  show  the  men  the  way  to 
heaven.     It's  our  ninety-ninth  article  of  war." 

"  You  are  a  fighting  nation,"  replied  the  Russian,  bow- 
ing to  Hawkins,  and  continuing  his  walk,  not  exactly 
pleased  that  he  had  been  floored  by  a  parson. 

Mr  Hawkins  continued  very  disconsolate  for  some  time  j 
he  then  invalided,  and  applied  himself  to  his  duties  on 
shore,  where  he  would  not  be  exposed  to  such  temptations 
from  his  former  habits. 

As  the  Aurora,  when  she  was  last  at  Malta,  had  nearly 
exhausted  the  dockyard  for  her  repairs,  she  was  even 
longer  fitting  out  this  time,  during  which  Captain  "Wilson's 
despatches  had  been  received  by  the  admiral,  and  had  been 
acknowledged  by  a  brig  sent  to  Malta.  The  admiral,  in 
reply,  after  complimenting  him  upon  his  gallantry  and  success, 
desired  that,  as  soon  as  he  was  ready,  he  should  proceed 
to  Palermo  with  communications  of  importance  to  the 
authorities,  and  having  remained  there  for  an  answer,  was 
again  to  return  to  Malta  to  pick  up  such  of  his  men  as 
might  be  fit  to  leave  the  hospital,  and  then  join  the  Toulon 
fleet.  This  intelligence  was  soon  known  to  our  hero,  who 
was  in  ecstasies  at  the  idea  of  again  seeing  Agnes  and  her 
brothers.  Once  more  the  Aurora  sailed  away  from  the 
high-crowned  rocks  of  Valette,  and  with  a  fine  breeze 
dashed  through  the  deep  blue  waves. 

But  towards  the  evening  the  breeze  increased,  and  they 
were  under  double-reefed  topsails.  On  the  second  day 
they  made  the  coast  of  Sicily,  not  far  from  where  Easy  and 
Gascoigne  had  been  driven  on  shore ;  the  weather  was 
then  more  moderate,  and  the  sea  had,  to  a  great  degree, 
subsided.  They  therefore  stood  in  close  to  the  coast,  as 
they  had  not  a  leading  wind  to  Palermo.  As  they  stood 
in,  the  glasses,  as  usual,  were  directed  to  land  ;  observing 
the  villas  with  which  the  hills  and  valleys  were  studded, 
with  their  white  fronts  embowered  in  orange  groves. 

"What  is  that,  Gascoigne,"  said  Easy,  "under  that 
precipice  ? — ^it  looks  like  a  vessel." 

Gascoigne  turned  his  glass  in  the  direction — **  Yes,  it  is 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  309 

a  vessel  on  the  rocks  :  by  her  prow  she  looks  like  a 
galley." 

"  It  is  a  galley,  sir — one  of  the  row  galleys — I  can  make 
out  her  bank  of  oars,"  observed  the  signal-man. 

This  was  reported  to  Captain  Wilson,  who  also  examined 
her. 

**  She  is  on  the  rocks,  certainly,"  observed  he  ;  "  and  I 
think  I  see  people  on  board.  Keep  her  away  a  point, 
quarter-master." 

The  Aurora  was  now  steered  right  for  the  vessel,  and 
in  the  course  of  an  hour  was  not  more  than  a  mile  from 
her.  Their  suppositions  were  correct — it  was  one  of  the 
Sicilian  government  galleys  bilged  on  the  rocks,  and  they 
now  perceived  that  there  were  people  on  board  of  her, 
making  signals  with  their  shirts  and  pieces  of  linen. 

"  They  must  be  the  galley-slaves  j  for  I  perceive  that 
they  do  not  one  of  them  change  their  positions  :  the  galley 
must  have  been  abandoned  by  their  officers  and  seamen, 
and  the  slaves  left  to  perish." 

"  That's  very  hard,"  observed  Jack  to  Gascoigne  j  "  they 
were  condemned  to  the  galleys,  but  not  to  death." 

"  They  will  not  have  much  mercy  from  the  waves," 
replied  Gascoigne  ;  **  they  will  all  be  in  kingdom  come 
to-morrow  morning,  if  the  breeze  comes  more  on  the  land. 
We  have  already  come  up  two  points  this  forenoon." 

Although  Captain  Wilson  did  not  join  in  this  conversa- 
tion, which  he  overheard  as  he  stood  on  the  forecastle  gun, 
with  his  glass  over  the  hammocks,  it  appears  he  was  of  the 
same  opinion :  but  he  demurred :  he  had  to  choose  between 
allowing  so  many  of  his  fellow-creatures  to  perish  miserably, 
or  to  let  loose  upon  society  a  set  of  miscreants,  who  would 
again  enter  a  course  of  crime  until  they  were  re-captured, 
and,  by  so  doing,  probably  displease  the  Sicilian  authorities. 
After  some  little  reflection  he  resolved  that  he  would  take 
his  chance  of  the  latter.  The  Aurora  was  hove-to  in  stays, 
and  the  two  cutters  ordered  to  be  lowered  down,  and  the 
boat's  crew  to  be  armed. 

*'  Mr  Easy,  do  you  take  one  cutter,  and  the  armourers  j 


310  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

pull  on  board  of  the  galley,  release  those  people,  and  land 
them  in  small  divisions.  Mr  Gascoigne,  you  will  take  the 
other  to  assist  Mr  Easy,  and  when  he  lands  them  in  his 
boat,  you  will  pull  by  his  side  ready  to  act,  in  case  of  any 
hostile  attempt  on  the  part  of  the  scoundrels  ;  for  we  must 
not  expect  gratitude  :  of  course,  land  them  at  the  nearest 
safe  spot  for  debarkation." 

In  pursuance  of  these  orders,  our  two  midshipmen 
pulled  away  to  the  vessel.  They  found  her  fixed  hard 
upon  the  rocks,  which  had  pierced  her  slight  timbers,  and, 
as  they  had  supposed,  the  respectable  part  of  her  crew, 
with  the  commander,  had  taken  to  the  boats,  leaving  the 
galley-slaves  to  their  fate.  She  pulled  fifty  oars,  but  had 
only  thirty-six  manned.  These  oars  were  forty  feet  long, 
and  ran  in  from  the  thole-pin  with  a  loom  six  feet  long, 
each  manned  by  four  slaves,  who  were  chained  to  their 
seat  before  it,  by  a  running  chain  made  fast  by  a  padlock 
in  amidships.  A  plank,  of  two  feet  wide,  ran  fore  and  aft 
the  vessel  between  the  two  banks  of  oars,  for  the  boat- 
swain to  apply  the  lash  to  those  who  did  not  sufficiently 
exert  themselves. 

"  Viva  los  Inglesos  !  "  cried  the  galley-slaves,  as  Easy 
climbed  up  over  the  quarter  of  the  vessel. 

"  I  say,  Ned,  did  you  ever  see  such  a  precious  set  of 
villains  ?  "  observed  Easy,  as  he  surveyed  the  faces  of  the 
men  who  were  chained. 

"  No,"  replied  Gascoigne  5  "  and  I  think  if  the  captain 
had  seen  them  as  we  have,  that  he  would  have  left  them 
where  they  were." 

*'  I  don't  know — but,  however,  our  orders  are  positive. 
Armourer,  knock  off  all  the  padlocks,  beginning  aft ;  when 
we  have  a  cargo  we  will  land  them.  How  many  are 
there  ? — twelve  dozen  ; — twelve  dozen  villains  to  let  loose 
upon  society.  I  have  a  great  mind  to  go  on  board  again 
and  report  my  opinion  to  the  captain — one  hundred  and 
forty-four  villains,  who  all  deserve  hanging — for  drowning 
is  too  good  for  them." 

"  Our  orders  are  to  liberate  them,  Jack." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  311 

"  Yes ;  but  I  should  like  to  argue  this  point  with 
Captain  Wilson." 

"They'll  send  after  them  fast  enough.  Jack,  and  they'll 
all  be  in  limbo  again  before  long,"  replied  Gascoigne. 

"  Well,  I  suppose  we  must  obey  orders ;  but  it  goes 
against  my  conscience  to  save  such  villanous-looking 
rascals.     Armourer,  hammer  away." 

The  armourer,  who  with  the  seamen  appeared  very 
much  of  Jack's  opinion,  and  had  not  commenced  his  work, 
now  struck  off  the  padlocks  one  by  one  with  his  sledge- 
hammer. As  soon  as  they  were  released  the  slaves  were 
ordered  into  the  cutter,  and  when  it  was  sufficiently  loaded 
Jack  shoved  off,  followed  by  Gascoigne  as  guard,  and 
landed  them  at  the  point  about  a  cable's  length  distant. 
It  required  six  trips  before  they  were  all  landed  j  the  last 
cargo  were  on  shore,  and  Easy  was  desiring  the  men  to 
shove  off,  when  one  of  the  galleriens  turned  round,  and 
cried  out  to  Jack  in  a  mocking  tone,  *'  Addio,  signer,  a 
reveder  la."  Jack  started,  stared,  and,  in  the  squalid, 
naked  wretch  who  addressed  him,  he  recognised  Don 
Silvio ! 

"  I  will  acquaint  Don  Rebiera  of  your  arrival,  signor,' 
said  the  miscreant,  springing  up  the  rocks,  and  mixing 
with  the  rest,  who  now  commenced  hooting  and  laughing 
at  their  preservers. 

*'  Ned,"  observed  Easy  to  Gascoigne,  "  we  have  let  that 
rascal  loose." 

"  More's  the  pity,"  replied  Gascoigne  5  "  but  we  have 
only  obeyed  orders." 

"  It  can't  be  helped,  but  I've  a  notion  there  will  be  some 
mischief  out  of  this." 

**  We  obeyed  orders,"  replied  Gascoigne. 

"We've  let  the  rascals  loose  not  ten  miles  from  Don 
Rebiera's." 

"  Obeyed  orders.  Jack." 

"  With  a  whole  gang  to  back  him,  if  he  goes  there.'' 

"  Orders,  Jack." 

"  Agnes  at  his  mercy." 


312  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  Captain's  orders,  Jack." 

*'  I  shall  argue  this  point  when  I  go  on  board,"  replied 
Jack. 

"  Too  late,  Jack." 

*•  Yes,"  replied  Easy,  sinking  down  on  the  stern  sheets 
with  a  look  of  despair. 

**  Give  way,  my  lads,  give  way." 

Jack  returned  on  board,  and  reported  what  he  had  done : 
also  that  Don  Silvio  was  among  those  liberated ;  and  he 
ventured  to  mention  his  fears  of  what  might  take  place 
from  their  contiguity  to  the  house  of  Don  Rebiera. 
Captain  Wilson  bit  his  lips :  he  felt  that  his  philanthropy 
had  induced  him  to  act  without  his  usual  prudence. 

*•  I  have  done  a  rash  thing,  Mr  Easy,  I  am  afraid.  I 
should  have  taken  them  all  on  board  and  delivered  them 
up  to  the  authorities.  I  wish  I  had  thought  of  that  before. 
We  must  get  to  Palermo  as  fast  as  we  can,  and  have  the 
troops  sent  after  these  miscreants.  Hands  'bout  ship,  fill 
the  main  yard." 

The  wind  had  veered  round,  and  the  Aurora  was  now 
able  to  lay  up  clear  of  the  island  of  Maritimo.  The  next 
morning  she  anchored  in  Palermo  Roads — gave  immediate 
notice  to  the  authorities,  who,  wishing  Captain  Wilson's 
philanthropy  at  the  devil,  immediately  despatched  a  large 
body  of  troops  in  quest  of  the  liberated  malefactors. 
Captain  Wilson,  feeling  for  Jack's  anxiety  about  his 
friends,  called  him  over  to  him  on  deck,  and  gave  him  and 
Gascoigne  permission  to  go  on  shore. 

"Will  you  allow  me  to  take  Mesty  with  me,  sir,  if  you 
please  ?  "  said  Jack. 

"  Yes,  Mr  Easy ;  but  recollect  that,  even  with  Mesty, 
you  are  no  match  for  one  hundred  and  fifty  men  5  so  be 
prudent.  I  send  you  to  relieve  your  anxiety,  not  to  run 
into  danger." 

"  Of  course,  sir,"  replied  Jack,  touching  his  hat,  and 
walking  away  quietly  till  he  came  to  the  hatchway,  when 
he  darted  down  like  a  shot,  and  was  immediately  occupied 
with  his  preparations. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  313 

In  half  an  hour  our  two  midshipmen,  with  Mesty,  had 
landed,  and  proceeded  to  the  inn  where  they  had  put  up 
before :  they  were  armed  up  to  the  teeth.  Their  first 
inquiries  were  for  Don  Philip  and  his  brother. 

"  Both  on  leave  of  absence,"  replied  the  landlord,  "  and 
staying  with  Don  Rebiera." 

**  That's  some  comfort,"  thought  Jack.  "  Now  we 
must  get  horses  as  fast  as  we  can. — Mesty,  can  you 
ride?" 

"  By  all  de  power,  can  I  ride,  Massa  Easy ;  suppose 
you  ride  Kentucky  horse,  you  ride  anyting." 

In  half  an  hour  four  horses  and  a  guide  were  procured, 
and  at  eight  o'clock  in  the  morning  the  party  set  off  in 
the  direction  of  Don  Rebiera's  country  seat. 

They  had  not  ridden  more  than  six  miles  when  they 
came  up  with  one  of  the  detachments  sent  out  in  pursuit 
of  the  liberated  criminals.  Our  hero  recognised  the  com- 
manding officer  as  an  old  acquaintance,  and  imparting  to 
him  the  release  of  Don  Silvio,  and  his  fears  upon  Don 
Rebiera's  account,  begged  him  to  direct  his  attention 
that  way. 

"  Corpo  di  Bacco — you  are  right,  Signor  Mid,"  replied 
the  officer,  "  but  Don  Philip  is  there,  and  his  brother  too, 
I  believe.  I  will  be  there  by  ten  o'clock  to-morrow 
morning  j  we  will  march  almost  the  whole  night." 

"  They  have  no  arms,"  observed  Easy. 

"No,  but  they  will  soon  get  them:  they  will  go  to 
some  small  town  in  a  body,  plunder  it,  and  then  seek 
the  protection  of  the  mountains.  Your  captain  has  given 
us  a  pretty  job." 

Jack  exchanged  a  few  more  words,  and  then,  excusing 
himself  on  account  of  his  haste,  put  the  spurs  to  his  horse 
and  regained  his  own  party,  who  now  proceeded  at  a 
rapid  pace. 

"  O  signor ! "  said  the  guide,  "  we  shall  kill  the 
horses." 

"  I'll  pay  for  them,"  said  Jack. 

"  Yes,  but  we   shall  kill  them  before  we  get  there, 


314  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

Jack,"  replied  Gascoigne,  "  and  have  to  walk  the  rest 
of  the  way." 

"  Very  true,  Ned ;  let's  pull  up,  and  give  them  their 
wind." 

"By  de  holy  poker,  Massa  Easy,  but  my  shirt  stick  to 
my  ribs,"  cried  Mesty,  whose  black  face  was  hung  with 
dewdrops  from  their  rapid  course. 

"Never  mind,  Mesty." 

It  was  about  five  o'clock  in  the  afternoon  when  they 
arrived  at  the  seat  of  Don  Rebiera.  Jack  threw  himself 
oiF  his  jaded  steed,  and  hastened  into  the  house,  followed 
by  Gascoigne.  They  found  the  whole  family  collected  in 
the  large  sitting-room,  quite  ignorant  of  any  danger 
threatening  them,  and  equally  astonished  and  pleased  at 
the  arrival  of  their  old  friends.  Jack  flew  to  Agnes, 
who  screamed  when  she  saw  him,  and  felt  so  giddy  after- 
wards that  he  was  obliged  to  support  her.  Having  seated 
her  again,  he  was  kindly  greeted  by  the  old  people  and 
the  two  young  officers.  After  a  few  minutes  dedicated 
to  mutual  inquiries,  our  hero  stated  the  cause  of  their 
expeditious  arrival. 

"  Don  Silvio  with  one  hundred  and  fifty  galleriens, 
let  loose  on  the  coast  yesterday  afternoon  !  "  exclaimed 
Don  Rebiera;  "you  are  right,  I  only  wonder  they  were 
not  here  last  night.  But  I  expect  Pedro  from  the  town  j 
he  has  gone  down  with  a  load  of  wine  :  he  will  bring  us 
intelligence." 

"  At  all  events,  we  must  be  prepared,"  said  Don 
Philip  J  "  the  troops,  you  say,  will  be  here  to-morrow 
morning." 

"  Holy  Virgin  !  "  exclaimed  the  ladies,  in  a  breath. 

"  How  many  can  we  muster  ?"  said  Gascoigne. 

"We  have  five  men  here,  or  we  shall  have  by  the 
evening,"  replied  Don  Philip — "  all,  I  think,  good  men — 
my  father,  my  brother,  and  myself." 

"We  are  three — four  with  the  guide,  whom  I  know 
nothing  about." 

"  Twelve  in  all — not  one   too  many ;  but  I  think  that 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  315 

now  we  are  prepared,  if  they  attack,  we  can  hold  out  till 
the  morning." 

"  Had  we  not  better  send  the  ladies  away  ? "  said  Jack. 

"  Who  is  to  escort  them  ? "  replied  Don  Philip  ;  "we 
shall  only  weaken  our  force ;  besides,  they  may  fall  into 
the  miscreants'  hands." 

"  Shall  we  all  leave  the  house  together  ?  they  can 
but  plunder  it,"  observed  Don  Rebiera. 

"  Still,  we  may  be  intercepted  by  them,  and  our  whole 
force  will  be  nothing  against  so  many,"  observed  Don 
Philip,  "  if  we  are  without  defence,  whereas  in  the  house 
we  shall  have  an  advantage." 

*'  E'  vero,"  replied  Don  Rebiera,  thoughtfully ;  **  then 
let  us  prepare,  for  depend  upon  it  Don  Silvio  will  not  lose 
such  an  opportunity  to  wreak  his  vengeance.  He  will  be 
here  to-night :  I  only  wonder  he  has  not  been  here  with 
his  companions  before.  However,  Pedro  will  arrive  in 
two  hours." 

"  We  must  now  see  what  means  we  have  of  defence," 
said  Philip.     "  Come,  brother — will  you  come,  sir  ? " 


Chapter   XXXI 

A  regular  set-to,  in  which  the  parties  beaten  are  not  knocked  down,  but  rise 
higher  and  higher  at  each  discomfiture — Nothing  but  the  troops  could 
have  prevented  them  from  going  up  to  heaven. 

Don  Rebiera  and  his  two  sons  quitted  the  room, 
Gascoigne  entered  into  conversation  with  the  senora,  while 
Easy  took  this  opportunity  of  addressing  Agnes.  He  had 
been  too  much  occupied  with  the  consultation  to  pay  her 
much  attention  before.  He  had  spoken,  with  his  eyes  fixed 
upon  her,  and  had  been  surprised  at  the  improvement  which 
had  taken  place  in  less  than  a  year.  He  now  went  to  her, 
and  asked  her,  in  a  low  voice,  "  whether  she  had  received 
his  letter  ? " 

"  Oh,  yes  !  "  replied  she,  colouring. 


3i6  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  And  were  you  angry  with  what  I  said,  Agnes  ?  "  in  a 
low  tone. 

"  No,"  replied  she,  casting  her  eyes  down  on  the  floor. 

**  I  repeat  now  what  I  said,  Agnes — I  have  never 
forgotten  you." 

'« But " 

"But  what?" 

**  Father  Thomaso." 

"  What  of  him  ? " 

"  He  never  wUl " 

"  Will  what  ?  » 

'*  You  are  a  heretic,  he  says." 

"  TeJl  him  to  mind  his  own  business." 

"  He  has  great  influence  with  my  father  and  mother." 

•*  Your  brothers  are  on  our  side." 

*'  I  know  that,  but  there  will  be  great  difliculty.  Our 
religion  is  not  the  same.  He  must  talk  to  you — he  will 
convert  you." 

**  We'll  argue  that  point,  Agnes.  I  will  convert  him  if 
he  has  common  sense ;  if  not,  it's  no  use  arguing  with  him. 
Where  is  he  .'' " 

"  He  will  soon  be  at  home." 

"  Tell  me,  Agnes,  if  you  had  your  own  will,  would  you 
marry  me  ?  " 

"  I  don't  know  j  I  have  never  seen  any  one  I  liked  so 
well." 

"  Is  that  all  ? " 

"  Is  it  not  enough  for  a  maiden  to  say  .'' "  replied  Agnes, 
raising  her  eyes,  and  looking  reproachfully.  "  Signor,  let 
me  go,  here  comes  my  father." 

Notwithstanding,  Jack  cast  his  eyes  to  the  window 
where  Gascoigne  and  the  senora  were  in  converse,  and, 
perceiving  that  the  old  lady's  back  was  turned,  he  pressed 
Agnes  to  his  bosom  before  he  released  her.  The  gentlemen 
then  returned  with  all  the  fire-arms  and  destructive  weapons 
they  could  collect. 

"  We  have  enough,"  observed  Don  Philip,  "  to  arm  all 
the  people  we  have  with  us." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  317 

**  And  we  are  well  armed,"  replied  Jack,  who  had  left 
Agnes  standing  alone.     "  What  now  are  your  plans  ?  " 

"  Those  we  must  now  consult  about.  It  appears  " — but 
at  this  moment  the  conversation  was  interrupted  by  the 
sudden  entrance  of  Pedro,  who  had  been  despatched  to  the 
town  with  the  load  of  wine.  He  rushed  in,  flurried  and 
heated,  with  his  red  cap  in  his  hand. 

•'  How  now,  Pedro,  back  so  early  !  " 

"  O  signor  !  "  exclaimed  the  man — "  they  have  taken  the 
cart  and  the  wine,  and  have  drawn  it  away,  up  to  the 
mountains." 

"  "Who  ?  "  inquired  Don  Rebiera. 

**  The  galley-slaves  who  have  been  let  loose — and  by  the 
body  of  our  blessed  saint,  they  have  done  pretty  mischief 
— they  have  broken  into  the  houses,  robbed  everything — 
murdered  many — clothed  themselves  with  the  best — 
collected  all  the  arms,  provisions,  and  wine  they  could  lay 
their  hands  on,  and  have  marched  away  into  the  mountains. 
This  took  place  last  night.  As  I  was  coming  down  within 
a  mile  of  the  town,  they  met  me  with  my  loaded  cart,  and 
they  turned  the  bullocks  round  and  drove  them  away  along 
with  the  rest.  By  the  blessed  Virgin  !  but  they  are  stained 
with  blood,  but  not  altogether  of  men,  for  they  have  cut 
up  some  of  the  oxen.  I  heard  this  from  one  of  the  herds- 
men, but  he  too  fled,  and  could  not  tell  me  more.  But, 
signor,  I  heard  them  mention  your  name." 

"  I  have  no  doubt  of  it,"  replied  Don  Rebiera.  "  As  for 
the  wine,  I  only  hope  they  will  drink  too  much  of  it  to- 
night. But,  Pedro,  they  will  be  here,  and  we  must  defend 
ourselves — so  call  the  men  together ;  I  must  speak  to 
them." 

**We  shall  never  see  the  bullocks  again,"  observed 
Pedro,  mournfully. 

"  No :  but  we  shall  never  see  one  another  again,  if  we 
do  not  take  care.  I  have  information  they  come  here 
to-night." 

*'  Holy  Saint  Francis  !  and  they  say  there  are  a  thousand 
of  them." 


318  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  Not  quite  so  many,  to  my  knowledge,"  observed  Jack. 

*'  They  told  me  that  a  great  many  were  killed  in  their 
attack  upon  the  town,  before  they  mastered  it." 

"  So  much  the  better.  Go  now,  Pedro,  drink  a  cup 
of  wine,  and  then  call  the  other  men." 

The  house  was  barricadoed  as  well  as  circumstances 
would  permit ;  the  first  story  was  also  made  a  fortress 
by  loading  the  landing-place  with  armoires  and  chests 
of  drawers.  The  upper  story,  or  attic,  if  it  might  be 
so  called,  was  defended  in  the  same  way,  that  they  might 
retreat  from  one  to  the  other  if  the  doors  were  forced. 

It  was  eight  o'clock  in  the  evening  before  all  was 
ready,  and  they  were  still  occupied  with  the  last  defence, 
under  the  superintendence  of  Mesty,  who  showed  himself 
an  able  engineer,  when  they  heard  the  sound  of  an 
approaching  multitude.  They  looked  out  of  one  of  the 
windows,  and  perceived  the  house  surrounded  by  the 
galley-slaves,  in  number  apparently  about  a  hundred. 
They  were  all  dressed  in  a  most  fantastic  manner  with 
whatever  they  could  pick  up :  some  had  fire-arms,  but 
the  most  of  them  were  supplied  with  only  swords  or 
knives.  With  them  came  also  their  cortege  of  plunder : 
carts  of  various  descriptions,  loaded  with  provisions  of 
all  sorts,  and  wine  ;  women  lashed  down  with  ropes,  sails 
from  the  vessels  and  boats  to  supply  them  with  covering 
in  the  mountains,  hay  and  straw,  and  mattresses.  Their 
plunder  appeared  to  be  well  chosen  for  their  exigencies. 
To  the  carts  were  tied  a  variety  of  cattle,  intended  to 
accompany  them  to  their  retreat.  They  all  appeared  to 
be  under  a  leader,  who  was  issuing  directions — that  leader 
was  soon  recognised  by  those  in  the  house  to  be  Don 
Silvio. 

"  Massa  Easy,  you  show  me  dat  man,"  said  Mesty, 
when  he  heard  the  conversation  between  Easy  and  the 
Rebieras ;  "  only  let  me  know  him." 

"  Do  you  see  him  there,  Mesty,  walking  down  in  front 
of  those  men  ?  He  has  a  musket  in  his  hand,  a  jacket 
with  silver  buttons,  and  white  trousers." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  319 

**  Yes,  Massa  Easy,  me  see  him  well — let  me  look  little 
more — dat  enough." 

The  galley-slaves  appeared  to  be  very  anxious  to 
surround  the  house  that  no  one  should  escape,  and  Don 
Silvio  was  arranging  the  men. 

"Ned,"  said  Jack,  "let  us  show  him  that  we  are  here. 
He  said  that  he  would  acquaint  Don  Rebiera  with  our 
arrival — let  us  prove  to  him  that  he  is  too  late." 

"  It  would  not  be  a  bad  plan,"  replied  Gascoigne ;  "if 
it  were  possible  that  these  fellows  had  any  gratitude 
among  them,  some  of  them  might  relent  at  the  idea  of 
attacking  those  who  saved  them." 

"Not  a  bit;  but  it  will  prove  to  them  that  there  are 
more  in  the  house  than  they  think  for ;  and  we  can 
frighten  some  of  them  by  telling  them  that  the  soldiers 
are  near  at  hand." 

Jack  immediately  threw  up  the  casement,  and  called 
out  in  a  loud  voice,  "  Don  Silvio !  galley-slave !  Don 
Silvio ! " 

The  party  hailed  turned  round,  and  beheld  Jack, 
Gascoigne,  and  Mesty,  standing  at  the  window  of  the 
upper  floor. 

"We  have  saved  you  the  trouble  of  announcing  us," 
called  out  Gascoigne.     "  We  are  here  to  receive  you." 

"  And  in  three  hours  the  troops  will  be  here,  so  you 
must  be  quick,  Don  Silvio,"  continued  Jack. 

"^  reveder  la,^^  continued  Gascoigne,  letting  fly  his 
pistol  at  Don  Silvio. 

The  window  was  then  immediately  closed.  The  appear- 
ance of  our  heroes,  and  their  communication  of  the  speedy 
arrival  of  the  troops,  was  not  without  effect.  The  criminals 
trembled  at  the  idea ;  Don  Silvio  was  mad  with  rage — he 
pointed  out  to  the  men  the  necessity  of  immediate  attack — 
the  improbability  of  the  troops  arriving  so  soon,  and  the 
wealth  which  he  expected  was  locked  up  by  Don  Rebiera 
in  his  mansion.  This  rallied  them,  and  they  advanced  to 
the  doors,  which  they  attempted  to  force  without  success, 
losing  several  men  by  the  occasional  fire  from  those  within 


320  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

the  house.  Finding  their  efforts,  after  half  an  hour's 
repeated  attempts,  to  be  useless,  they  retreated,  and  then 
bringing  up  a  long  piece  of  timber,  which  required  sixty 
men  to  carry  it,  they  ran  with  it  against  the  door,  and 
the  weight  and  impetus  of  the  timber  drove  it  off  its 
hinges,  and  an  entrance  was  obtained ;  by  this  time  it  was 
dark,  the  lower  story  had  been  abandoned,  but  the  barri- 
cade at  the  head  of  the  stairs  opposed  their  progress. 
Convenient  loop-holes  had  been  prepared  by  the  defenders, 
who  now  opened  a  smart  fire  upon  the  assailants,  the 
latter  having  no  means  of  returning  it  effectually,  had 
they  had  ammunition  for  their  muskets,  which  fortunately 
they  had  not  been  able  to  procure.  The  combat  now 
became  fierce,  and  the  galley-slaves  were  several  times 
repulsed  with  great  loss  during  a  contest  of  two  hours ; 
but,  encouraged  by  Don  Silvio,  and  refreshed  by  repeated 
draughts  of  wine,  they  continued  by  degrees  removing 
the  barriers  opposed  to  them. 

"'We  shall  have  to  retreat,"  exclaimed  Don  Rebiero; 
**  very  soon  they  will  have  torn  down  all.  What  do  you 
think,  Signor  Easy  ?  " 

'*  Hold  this  as  long  as  we  can.  How  are  we  off  for 
ammunition  ? " 

"Plenty  as  yet — plenty  to  last  for  six  hours,  I  think." 

"  What  do  you  say,  Mesty  ? " 

*'  By  holy  St  Patrig,  I  say  hold  out  here — they  got  no 
fire-arms- — and  we  ab  um  at  arm-length." 

This  decision  was  the  occasion  of  the  first  defence 
being  held  for  two  hours  more,  an  occasional  relief  being 
afforded  by  the  retreat  of  the  convicts  to  the  covered 
carts. 

At  last  it  was  evident  that  the  barricade  was  no  longer 
tenable,  for  the  heavy  pieces  of  furniture  they  had  heaped 
up  to  oppose  entrance,  were  completely  hammered  to 
fragments  by  poles  brought  up  by  the  assailants,  and 
used  as  battering-rams.  The  retreat  was  sounded  ;  they 
all  hastened  to  the  other  story,  where  the  ladies  were 
already  placed,  and  the  galley-slaves  were  soon  in  posses- 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  321 

sion  of  the  first  floor — exasperated  by  the  defence,  mad 
with  wine  and  victory,  but  finding  nothing. 

Again  was  the  attack  made  upon  the  second  landing, 
but,  as  the  stairs  were  now  narrower,  and  their  defences 
stronger  in  proportion,  they,  for  a  long  while,  gained  no 
advantage.  On  the  contrary,  many  of  their  men  were 
wounded,  and  taken  down  below. 

The  darkness  of  the  night  prevented  both  parties 
from  seeing  distinctly,  which  was  rather  in  favour  of 
the  assailants.  Many  climbed  over  the  fortress  of  piled- 
up  furniture,  and  were  killed  as  soon  as  they  appeared 
on  the  other  side,  and,  at  last,  the  only  ammunition  used 
was  against  those  who  made  this  rash  attempt.  For 
four  long  hours  did  this  assault  and  defence  continue, 
until  daylight  came,  and  then  the  plan  of  assault  was 
altered :  they  again  brought  up  the  poles,  hammered  the 
pieces  of  furniture  into  fragments,  and  gained  ground. 
The  defenders  were  worn  out  with  fatigue,  but  flinched 
not ;  they  knew  that  their  lives,  and  the  lives  of  those 
dearest  to  them,  were  at  stake,  and  they  never  relaxed 
their  exertions  ;  still  the  criminals,  with  Silvio  at  their 
head,  progressed,  the  distance  between  the  parties  gradually 
decreased,  and  there  was  but  one  massive  chest  of  drawers 
now  defending  the  landing-place,  and  over  which  there 
was  a  constant  succession  of  blows  from  long  poles  and 
cutlasses,  returned  with  the  bullets  from  their  pistols. 

*'  We  must  now  fight  for  our  lives,"  exclaimed  Gas- 
coigne  to  Easy,  "  for  what  else  can  we  do  ?  " 

"  Do  ? — get  on  the  roof  and  fight  there,  then,"  replied 
Jack. 

**  By -the -bye,  that's  well  thought  of,  Jack,'^  said 
Gascoigne.  "  Mesty,  up  and  see  if  there  is  any  place 
we  can  retreat  to  in  case  of  need." 

Mesty  hastened  to  obey,  and  soon  returned  with  a 
report  that  there  was  a  trap-door  leading  into  the  loft 
under  the  roof,  and  that  they  could  draw  the  ladder  up 
after  them. 

"  Then  we  may  laugh  at  them,"  cried  Jack.  *'  Mesty, 
E  X 


322  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

stay  here  while  I  and  Gascoigne  assist  the  ladies  up," 
explaining  to  the  Rebieras  and  to  their  domestics  why 
they  went. 

Easy  and  Gascoigne  hastened  to  the  signora  and  Agnes, 
conducted  them  up  the  ladder  into  the  loft,  and  requested 
them  to  have  no  fear  j  they  then  returned  to  the  defences 
on  the  stairs,  and  joined  their  companions.  They  found 
them  hard  pressed,  and  that  there  was  little  chance  of 
holding  out  much  longer ;  but  the  stairs  were  narrow, 
and  the  assailants  could  not  bring  their  force  against  them- 
But  now,  as  the  defences  were  nearly  destroyed,  although 
the  convicts  could  not  reach  them  with  their  knives,  they 
brought  up  a  large  supply  of  heavy  stones,  which  they 
threw  with  great  force  and  execution.  Two  of  Don 
Rebiera's  men  and  Don  Martin  were  struck  down,  and 
this  new  weapon  proved  most  fatal. 

"  We  must  retreat,  Jack,"  said  Gascoigne  ;  "  the  stones 
can  do  no  harm  where  we  are  going  to.  What  think 
you,  Don  Philip  ? " 

"  I  agree  with  you  j  let  those  who  are  wounded  be  first 
carried  up,  and  then  we  will  follow." 

This  was  effected,  and  as  soon  as  the  wounded  men  were 
carried  up  the  ladder,  and  the  arms  taken  up  to  prevent 
their  falling  into  the  hands  of  the  assailants,  for  they  were 
now  of  little  use  to  them,  the  ammunition  being  exhausted, 
the  whole  body  went  into  the  large  room  which  contained 
the  trap-door  of  the  loft,  and,  as  soon  as  they  were  up, 
they  drew  the  ladder  after  them.  They  had  hardly  effected 
this,  when  they  were  followed  with  the  yells  and  shoutings 
of  the  galley-slaves,  who  had  passed  the  last  barriers,  and 
thought  themselves  sure  of  their  prey :  but  they  were  dis- 
appointed— they  found  them  more  secure  than  ever. 

Nothing  could  exceed  the  rage  of  Don  Silvio  at  the  pro- 
tracted resistance  of  the  party,  and  the  security  of  their 
retreat.  To  get  at  them  was  impossible,  so  he  determined 
to  set  fire  to  the  room,  and  suffocate  them,  if  he  could  do  no 
otherwise.  He  gave  his  directions  to  his  men,  who  rushed 
down  for  straw,  but  in  so  doing,  he  carelessly  passed  under 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  323 

the  trap-door,  and  Mesty,  who  had  carried  up  with  him  two 
or  three  of  the  stones,  dashed  one  down  on  the  head  of 
Don  Silvio,  who  fell  immediately.  He  was  carried  away, 
but  his  orders  were  put  in  execution ;  the  room  was  filled 
with  straw  and  fodder,  and  lighted.  The  effects  were  soon 
felt :  the  trap-door  had  been  shut,  but  the  heat  and  smoke 
burst  through  ;  after  a  time,  the  planks  and  rafters  took 
fire,  and  their  situation  was  terrible.  A  small  trap-window 
in  the  roof,  on  the  side  of  the  house,  was  knocked  open, 
and  gave  them  a  temporary  relief;  but  now  the  rafters 
burned  and  crackled,  and  the  smoke  burst  on  them  in  thick 
columns.  They  could  not  see,  and  with  difficulty  could 
breathe.  Fortunately  the  room  below  that  which  had  been 
fired  was  but  one  out  of  four  on  the  attics,  and,  as  the  loft 
they  were  in  spread  over  the  whole  of  the  roof,  they  were 
able  to  remove  far  from  it.  The  house  was  slated  with 
massive  slate  of  some  hundredweights  each,  and  it  was  not 
found  possible  to  remove  them  so  as  to  give  air  although 
frequent  attempts  were  made.  Donna  Rebiera  sank 
exhausted  in  the  arms  of  her  husband,  and  Agnes  fell  into 
those  of  our  hero,  who,  enveloped  in  the  smoke,  kissed 
her  again  and  again  ;  and  she,  poor  girl,  thinking  that 
they  must  all  inevitably  perish,  made  no  scruple,  in  what 
she  supposed  her  last  moment,  of  returning  these  proofs  of 
her  ardent  attachment. 

"  Massy  Easy,  help  me  here, — Massa  Gascoigne  come 
here.  Now  heab  wid  all  your  might :  when  we  get  one 
off  we  get  plenty." 

Summoned  by  Mesty,  Jack  and  Gascoigne  put  their 
shoulders  to  one  of  the  lower  slates ;  it  yielded,  was  dis- 
engaged, and  slid  down  with  a  loud  rattling  below.  The 
ladies  were  brought  to  it,  and  their  heads  put  outside ; 
they  soon  recovered  ;  and  now  that  they  had  removed  one, 
they  found  no  difficulty  in  removing  others.  In  a  few 
minutes  they  were  all  with  their  heads  in  the  open  air,  but 
still  the  house  was  on  fire  below,  and  they  had  no  chance 
of  escape.  It  was  while  they  were  debating  upon  that 
point,  and  consulting  as  to  their  chance  of  safety,  that  a 


3^4  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

breeze  of  wind  wafted  the  smoke  that  issued  from  the  roof 
away  from  them,  and  they  beheld  the  detachment  of  troops 
making  up  to  the  house ;  a  loud  cheer  was  given,  and 
attracted  the  notice  of  the  soldiers.  They  perceived  Easy 
and  his  companions  ;  the  house  was  surrounded  and  entered 
in  an  instant. 

The  galley-slaves  who  were  in  the  house,  searching  for 
the  treasure  reported  by  Don  Silvio  to  be  concealed,  were 
captured  or  killed,  and  in  five  nainutes  the  troops  had  pos- 
session. But  how  to  assist  those  above  was  the  difficulty. 
The  room  below  was  in  flames,  and  burning  fiercely. 
There  were  no  ladders  that  could  reach  so  high,  and  there 
were  no  means  of  getting  to  them.  The  commandant 
made  signs  from  below,  as  if  to  ask  what  he  was  to  do. 

"  I  see  no  chance,"  observed  Don  Philip,  mournfully. 
"  Easy,  my  dear  fellow,  and  you,  Gascoigne,  I  am  sorry 
that  the  feuds  of  our  family  should  have  brought  you  to 
such  a  dreadful  death  ;  but  what  can  be  done  ?  " 

"  I  don't  know,"  replied  Jack,  **  unless  we  could  get 
ropes." 

"  You  quite  sure.  Massy  Easy,  that  all  galley  rascals 
below  gone  ?  "  asked  Mesty. 

"  Yes,"  replied  Easy,  **  you  may  see  that ;  look  at  some 
of  them  bound  there,  under  charge  of  the  soldiers." 

**  Den,  sar,  I  tink  it  high  time  we  go  too." 

"  So  do  I,  Mesty  ;  but  how  ? " 

"  How  ?  stop  a  little.  Come,  help  me.  Massy  Easy ;  dis 
board"  (for  the  loft  was  floored)  "is  loose;  come  help,  all 
of  you." 

They  all  went,  and  with  united  strength  pulled  up  the 
board. 

"  Now  strike  like  hell ! — and  drive  down  de  plaster," 
said  Mesty,  commencing  the  operation. 

In  a  few  minutes  they  had  beaten  an  opening  into  one  of 
the  rooms  below  not  on  fire,  pulled  up  another  board, 
and  Mesty  having  fetched  the  ladder,  they  all  descended 
in  safety,  and,  to  the  astonishment  of  the  commandant  of 
the  troops,  walked  out  of  the  door  of  the  house,  those 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  325 

who  had  been  stunned  with  the  stones  having  so  far 
recovered  as  to  require  little  assistance. 

The  soldiers  shouted  as  they  saw  them  appear,  support- 
ing the  females.  The  commanding  officer,  who  was  an 
intimate  friend  of  Don  Philip,  flew  to  his  arms.  The 
prisoners  were  carefully  examined  by  Mesty,  and  Don 
Silvio  was  not  among  them.  He  might,  however,  be 
among  the  dead  who  were  left  in  the  house,  which  now 
began  to  burn  furiously.  The  galley-slaves  who  were 
captured  amounted  in  number  to  forty-seven.  Their  dead 
they  could  not  count.  The  major  part  of  the  plunder, 
and  the  carts,  were  still  where  they  had  been  drawn  up. 

As  soon  as  the  culprits  had  been  secured,  the  attention 
of  the  troops  was  directed  to  putting  out  the  flames,  but 
their  attempts  were  ineffectual ;  the  mansion  was  burned 
to  the  bare  walls,  and  but  little  of  the  furniture  saved  ; 
indeed,  the  major  part  of  it  had  been  destroyed  in  the 
attack  made  by  Don  Silvio  and  his  adherents. 

Leaving  directions  with  Pedro  and  his  people,  that  the 
property  collected  by  the  miscreants  should  be  restored 
to  the  owners,  Don  Rebiera  ordered  the  horses,  and  with 
the  whole  party  put  himself  under  the  protection  of  the 
troops,  who,  as  soon  as  they  had  been  refreshed,  and  taken 
some  repose,  bent  their  way  back  to  Palermo  with  the 
galley-slaves,  bound  and  linked  together  in  a  long  double 
row. 

They  halted  when  they  had  gone  half-way,  and  remained 
for  the  night.  The  next  day  at  noon,  Don  Rebiera  and 
his  family  were  once  more  in  their  palazzo,  and  our  two 
midshipmen  and  Mesty  took  their  leave,  and  repaired 
on  board  to  make  themselves  a  little  less  like  chimney- 
sweepers. 

Captain  Wilson  was  not  out  of  the  ship.  Jack  made 
his  report,  and  then  went  down  below,  very  much  pleased 
at  what  had  passed,  especially  as  he  would  have  another 
long  yarn  for  the  governor  on  his  return  to  Malta. 


326  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

Chapter  XXXIl 

In  which  our  hero  and  Gascoigne  ought  to  be  ashamed  of  themselves,  and 
did  feel  what  might  be  called  midshipmite  compunction. 

The  Aurora  continued  three  weeks  at  Palermo,  during 
which  the  most  active  search  had  been  made  for  the 
remainder  of  the  galley-slaves,  and  some  few  had  been 
captured,  but  still  Don  Silvio,  and  a  considerable  number, 
were  at  large ;  and  it  was  said  that  they  had  retired  to  the 
fastnesses  in  the  mountains.  Our  hero  was  constantly  on 
shore  at  Don  Rebiera's  house,  and,  after  what  had  passed, 
he  was  now  looked  upon  as  soon  to  become  a  member  of 
the  family.  The  difference  of  religion  was  overlooked 
by  Don  Rebiera  and  the  relations  —  by  all  but  the 
confessor.  Father  Thomaso,  who  now  began  to  agitate  and 
fulminate  into  the  ears  of  the  Donna  Rebiera  all  the  pains 
and  penalties  attending  heretical  connection,  such  as 
excommunication  and  utter  damnation.  The  effects  of  his 
remonstrances  were  soon  visible,  and  Jack  found  that 
there  was  constraint  on  the  part  of  the  old  lady,  tears  on 
the  .part  of  Agnes,  and  all  father  confessors  heartily  wished 
at  the  devil  ten  times  a  day,  on  the  part  of  Don  Philip  and 
his  brother.  At  last  he  wormed  the  truth  out  of  Agnes, 
who  told  her  tale,  and  wept  bitterly. 

**  Ned,  I  don't  much  like  the  appearance  of  things," 
observed  Jack ;  "  I  must  get  rid  of  that  Father  Thomaso." 

"  You'll  find  that  rather  difficult,"  observed  Gascoigne ; 
"  besides,  if  you  were  rid  of  him  you  would  have  his 
place  filled  up  with  another." 

"  He  has  frightened  that  poor  old  woman  into  the 
dismals,  and  she  has  the  pains  of  purgatory  on  her  already. 
I  shall  go  and  talk  to  Mesty." 

"  How  can  Mesty  help  you  ? " 

"  I  don't  know,  but  you  can't ;  so,  for  want  of  better 
advice,  I'll  try  the  Ashantee." 

Our  hero  went  to  Mesty,  and  laid  the  difficult  affair 
open  to  him. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  327 

"  I  see,"  said  Mesty,  showing  his  filed  teeth,  "  you 
want  him  skull." 

"  No,  I  don't,  Mesty  ;  but  I  want  him  out  of  the  way." 

*'  How  that  possible,  Massy  Easy  ? — ship  sail  day  after 
to-morrow.  Now  'pose  I  ab  time,  I  soon  manage  all  dat. 
Stop  a  little." 

"  Confound  it !  but  there's  no  stopping,"  replied  Jack. 

"  Suppose,  Massy  Easy,  you  get  leave  go  on  shore — not 
come  off  again." 

"  That  will  be  deserting,  Mesty." 

**By  holy  poker,  I  ab  it — you  go  on  shore  and  break 
your  leg." 

"  Break  my  leg  ! — break  my  leave,  you  mean  ?  " 

"  No,  Massy  Easy — you  break  your  leg — den  captain 
leave  you  shore,  and  leave  me  to  take  care  of  you." 

"But  why  should  I  break  my  leg,  and  how  am  I  to 
break  my  leg  .'' " 

"  Only  pretend  break  leg,  Massa  Easy.  Go  talk  Massa 
Don  Philip,  he  manage  all  dat. — Suppose  man  break  his 
leg  in  seven  pieces,  it  is  not  possible  to  take  him  board." 

"  Seven  pieces,  Mesty  !  that's  rather  too  many.  How- 
ever, I'll  think  of  this." 

Jack  then  went  back  and  consulted  Gascoigne,  who 
approved  of  Mesty's  advice,  and  thought  the  scheme 
feasible. 

"  If  we  could  only  pretend  that  we  were  thrown  out  of 
a  caricola,  you  break  your  leg,  a  compound  fracture  of 
course — I  break  my  arm — both  left  on  shore  at  sick 
quarters,  with  Mesty  to  take  care  of  us." 

"Capital,  indeed,"  replied  Jack;  "I  really  would  not 
mind  it  if  it  really  took  place  j  at  all  events  we'll  overturn 
the  caricola." 

"  But  shall  we  get  leave  the  last  day  ?  " 

"  Yes,  it's  two  days  since  I  have  been  on  shore,  for  I 
have  not  hked  to  go  to  Don  Rebiera's  since  what  Agnes 
told  me.  Besides,  my  clothes  are  all  on  shore,  and  that 
>vill  be  an  excuse  for  a  few  hours." 

Our  two  midshipmen  applied  for  leave  the  next  n^orn- 


328  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

ing  to  be  off  in  the  afternoon.  The  first  lieutenant  gave 
them  permission.  They  hastened  to  the  hotel,  sent  for 
Don  Philip,  and  made  him  a  party  to  their  plan.  He 
readily  promised  his  assistance,  for  he  had  resolved  that 
our  hero  should  marry  his  sister,  and  was  fearful  of  the 
effect  of  his  absence,  coupled  with  Friar  Thomaso's 
influence  over  his  mother.  He  went  to  the  surgeon  of  his 
regiment,  who  immediately  entered  into  the  scheme. 

Our  two  midshipmen  got  into  a  caricola,  rattled  up  and 
down  the  streets,  and  perceiving  Captain  Wilson  at  his 
window,  flogged  the  horse  into  a  gallop ;  when  abreast  of 
the  barracks  Jack  ran  the  wheel  against  a  bank,  and  threw 
himself  and  Gascoigne  out.  Midshipmen  are  never  hurt 
by  these  accidents,  but  fortunately  for  the  success  of  the 
enterprise  their  faces  were  cut  and  bruised.  Don  Philip 
was  standing  by  :  he  called  the  men  to  pick  up  our  two 
scamps,  carried  them  into  the  barracks,  and  sent  for  the 
surgeons,  who  undressed  them,  put  Jack's  left  leg  into  a 
multitude  of  splints,  and  did  the  same  to  Gascoigne's  arm. 
They  were  then  put  to  bed,  their  contused  faces,  with  the 
blood,  left  "  in  statu  quo,"  while  Don  Philip  sent  an  orderly, 
as  from  the  commandant,  to  Captain  Wilson,  to  acquaint 
him  that  two  of  his  officers  had  been  thrown  out  of  a 
caricola,  and  were  lying  dangerously  hurt  at  the  barracks. 

"  Good  heavens,  it  must  be  Mr  Easy  and  Mr  Gas- 
coigne ! "  said  Captain  Wilson,  when  the  intelligence  was 
communicated;  "I  saw  them  galloping  down  the  street 
like  two  madmen  just  now.  Coxswain,  take  the  gig  on 
board  and  tell  the  surgeon  to  come  on  shore  immediately, 
and  bring  him  up  to  me  at  the  barracks." 

Captain  Wilson  then  put  on  his  hat,  buckled  on  his 
sword,  and  hastened  to  ascertain  the  extent  of  the  injury. 
Don  Philip  kept  out  of  the  way,  but  the  captain  was 
ushered  into  the  room  by  one  of  the  officers,  where  he 
found,  in  two  beds,  our  two  midshipmen  stretched  out, 
the  surgeon  of  the  forces  and  the  regimental  surgeon  in 
consultation  between  them,  while  attendants  were  standing 
by  each  bed  with  restoratives.      The  medical  gentlemen 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  329 

saluted  Captain  Wilson,  and  looked  very  grave,  talked 
about  fractures,  contusions,  injuries,  in  the  most  inter- 
minable manner — hoped  that  Mr  Easy  would  recover — 
but  had  doubts.  The  other  gentleman  might  do  well 
with  care ;  that  is,  so  far  as  his  arm  was  concerned,  but 
there  appeared  to  be  a  concussion  of  the  brain.  Captain 
Wilson  looked  at  the  cut  and  blood-smeared  faces  of  the 
two  young  men,  and  waited  with  anxiety  the  arrival  of  his 
own  surgeon,  who  came  at  last,  puffing  with  the  haste  he 
had  made,  and  received  the  report  of  the  brothers  of  the 
faculty. 

The  leg  of  Mr  Easy  fractured  in  two  places — had  been 
set  —  bone  protruding  —  impossible  to  move  him. 
Gascoigne,  arm,  compound  fracture — contusion  of  the 
brain  not  certain.  Now  that  all  this  would  have  been  dis- 
covered to  be  false  if  the  surgeon  had  been  able  to  examine, 
is  true ;  but  how  could  he  not  credit  the  surgeon  of  the 
forces  and  the  regimental  surgeon,  and  how  could  he  put 
the  young  men  to  fresh  tortures  by  removing  splints  and 
unsetting  limbs  ?  Politeness,  if  nothing  else,  prevented  his 
so  doing,  for  it  would  have  been  as  much  as  to  say  that 
either  he  did  not  credit  their  report,  or  that  he  doubted 
their  skill.  He  looked  at  our  hero  and  his  companion, 
who  kept  their  eyes  closed,  and  breathed  heavily  with  their 
mouths  open,  put  on  a  grave  face,  as  well  as  his  brothers 
in  the  art,  and  reported  to  Captain  Wilson. 

"But  when  can  they  be  moved,  Mr  Daly?"  inquired 
the  latter ;  "  I  cannot  wait ;  we  must  sail  to-morrow,  or 
the  next  day  at  the  farthest." 

The  surgeon,  as  in  duty  bound,  put  the  question  to  the 
others,  who  replied  that  there  would  be  great  risk  in 
moving  before  the  fever,  which  might  be  expected  the 
next  day,  and  which  might  last  ten  days ;  but  that  Captain 
Wilson  had  better  not  think  of  removing  them,  as  they 
should  have  every  care  and  attention  where  they  were, 
and  could  rejoin  the  ship  at  Malta.  Mr  Daly,  the  surgeon, 
agreed  that  this  would  be  the  most  prudent  step,  and 
Captain  Wilson  then  gave  his  consent. 


^^o  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

That  being  settled,  he  walked  up  to  the  bed  of 
Gascoigne,  and  spoke  to  him ;  but  Gascoigne  knew  that 
he  was  to  have  a  concussion  of  the  brain,  and  he  made  no 
reply,  nor  gave  any  signs  of  knowing  that  Captain  Wilson 
was  near  him.  He  then  went  to  our  hero,  who,  at  the 
sound  of  Captain  Wilson's  voice,  slowly  opened  his  eyes 
without  moving  his  head,  and  appeared  to  recognise 
him. 

"  Are  you  in  much  pain,  Easy  ? "  said  the  captain, 
kindly. 

Easy  closed  his  eyes  again,  and  murmured,  **  Mesty, 
Mesty  !  " 

"  He  wants  his  servant,  the  ship's  corporal,  sir,"  said 
the  surgeon. 

**  Well,"  replied  Captain  Wilson,  "  he  had  better  have 
him :  he  is  a  faithful  fellow,  and  will  nurse  him  well. 
When  you  go  on  board,  Mr  Daly,  desire  the  first 
lieutenant  to  send  Mesty  on  shore  with  Mr  Gascoigne's 
and  Mr  Easy's  chests,  and  his  own  bag  and  hammock. 
Good  heavens  !  I  would  not  for  a  thousand  pounds  that 
this  accident  had  occurred.  Poor  foolish  boys — they  run  in 
couples,  and  if  one's  in  a  scrape  the  other  is  sure  to  share 
it.  Gentlemen,  I  return  you  many  thanks  for  your 
kindness,  and  I  must  accept  of  your  promised  care  for  my 
unfortunate  officers.  I  sail  to-morrow  at  daylight.  You 
will  oblige  me  by  informing  their  friends,  the  Rebieras, 
of  their  mischance,  as  I  am  sure  they  will  contribute  all 
they  can  to  their  comfort."  So  saying,  Captain  Wilson 
bowed  and  quitted  the  room,  followed  by  the  surgeon. 

As  soon  as  the  door  was  closed  the  two  midshipmen 
turned  their  heads  round  and  looked  at  each  other,  but 
they  were  afraid  to  speak  at  first,  in  case  of  the  return 
of  the  surgeon.  As  soon  as  it  was  announced  to  them 
that  Captain  Wilson  and  Mr  Daly  were  outside  the 
barrack-gates,  our  hero  commenced — "  Do  you  know, 
Ned,  that  my  conscience  smites  me,  and  if  it  had  not  been 
that  I  should  have  betrayed  those  who  wish  to  oblige  us, 
when  poor  Captain  Wilson  appeared  so  much  hurt  and 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  331 

annoyed  at  our  accident,  I  was  very  near  getting  up  and 
telling  him  of  the  imposition,  to  relieve  his  mind." 

**  I  agree  with  you,  Jack,  and  I  felt  much  the  same — 
but  what's  done  cannot  be  undone.  We  must  now  keep 
up  the  imposition  for  the  sake  of  those  who,  to  help  us, 
have  deceived  him." 

**  I  don't  think  that  you  would  find  an  English  surgeon 
who  would  have  consented  to  such  an  imposition." 

"  No,  that  is  certain  j  but  after  all,  it  is  an  imposition 
that  has  hurt  nobody." 

"  Oh,  I  do  not  wish  to  moralise — but  I  repent  of  my 
share  in  the  deceit ;  and  had  it  to  be  done  over  again  I 
would  not  consent  to  it." 

"  Not  even  for ?  but  I  won't  mention  her  name  in 

barracks." 

"  I  don't  know,"  replied  Jack ;  "  but  let's  say  no 
more  about  it,  and  thank  these  gentlemen  for  their  kind- 
ness." 

"  Yes,  but  we  must  keep  it  up  until  we  see  the  Aurora 
under  all  sail." 

"  And  longer  too,"  replied  Jack  ;  "  we  must  not  let  the 
affair  get  wind  even  on  shore.  We  must  not  recover 
quickly,  but  still  appear  to  recover.  Don  Rebiera  and  his 
wife  must  be  deceived.  I  have  a  plot  in  my  head,  but  I 
cannot  work  it  out  clear  till  I  see  Mesty." 

Don  Philip  now  came  in.  He  had  seen  Captain  Wilson, 
who  had  requested  him  to  look  after  the  two  invalids, 
and  stated  his  intention  to  sail  the  next  morning.  They 
consulted  with  him,  and  it  was  agreed  that  no  one  should 
be  acquainted  with  the  real  fact  but  his  brother  Martin, 
and  that  all  Palermo  should  be  as  much  deceived  as 
Captain  Wilson,  for  if  not,  it  would  put  Father  Thomaso 
on  the  ^^  qui  vive^'*  and  make  him  fulminate  more  than 
ever.  Our  midshipmen  ate  an  excellent  dinner,  and  then 
remained  in  bed  conversing  till  it  was  time  to  go  to  sleep ; 
but  long  before  that,  Mesty  had  made  his  appearance  with 
their  clothes.  The  eyes  of  the  Ashantee  said  all  that  was 
necessary — he   never    spoke   a  word,    but    unlashed   his 


332  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

hammock  and  lay  down  in  a  corner,  and  they  were  soon 
all  three  asleep. 

The  next  morning  Captain  Wilson  called  to  ascertain 
how  our  hero  and  his  companion  were,  but  the  room  had 
been  darkened,  and  he  could  not  see  their  faces  plainly. 
Easy  thanked  him  for  his  kindness  in  allowing  Mesty  to 
attend  them,  and  having  received  his  orders  as  to  their 
joining  the  ship  as  soon  as  they  recovered,  and  having 
promised  to  be  very  cautious  in  their  behaviour  and  keep 
out  of  all  scrapes,  he  wished  them  a  speedy  recovery,  and 
departed. 

In  little  more  than  half  an  hour  afterwards,  Mesty,  who 
had  been  peeping  out  of  the  shutters,  suddenly  threw  them 
open  with  a  loud  laugh. 

The  Aurora  was  under  way,  with  studding  sails  below 
and  aloft  standing  out  of  the  roads.  Jack  and  Gascoigne 
got  up,  threw  off  the  splints,  and  danced  about  in  their 
shirts.  As  soon  as  they  were  quiet  again,  Mesty  said  in  a 
grave  tone,  "  Den  why  you  stay  at  sea,  Massa  Easy  ? " 

"  Very  true,  Mesty,  I've  asked  myself  that  question  often 
enough  lately ;  because  I'm  a  fool,  I  suppose." 

"  And  I,  because  I  can't  help  it,"  replied  Gascoigne ; 
"  never  mind,  we  are  on  shore  now,  and  I  look  for  a 
famous  cruise." 

"But  first  we  must  see  what  the  ground  is  we  are  to 
cruise  on,"  replied  Jack ;  "  so,  Mesty,  let  us  have  a  palaver, 
as  they  say  in  your  country." 

The  two  midshipmen  got  into  their  beds,  and  Mesty 
sat  on  the  chest  between  them,  looking  as  grave  as  a  judge. 
The  question  was,  how  to  get  rid  of  the  padre  Thomaso. 
Was  he  to  be  thrown  over  the  mole-head  to  the  fishes — or 
his  skull  broke — was  Mesty's  knife  to  be  resorted  to — 
was  he  to  be  kidnapped  or  poisoned — or  were  fair  means 
to  be  employed — persuasion,  bribery  }  Every  one  knows 
how  difficult  it  is  to  get  rid  of  a  priest. 

As  our  hero  and  Gascoigne  were  not  Italians,  they 
thought  that  bribery  would  be  the  more  English-like  way 
of  doing  the  thing ;  so  they  composed  a  letter,  to  be  de- 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  ^^^ 

livered  by  Mesty  to  the  friar,  in  which  Jack  offered  to 
Father  Thomaso  the  moderate  sum  of  one  thousand  dollars, 
provided  he  would  allow  the  marriage  to  proceed,  and  not 
frighten  the  old  lady  with  ecclesiastical  squibs  and 
crackers. 

As  Mesty  was  often  on  shore  with  Jack,  and  knew  the 
friar  very  well  by  sight,  it  was  agreed  that  the  letter 
should  be  confided  to  his  charge ;  but  as  it  was  not 
consistent  that  a  person  in  such  a  state  as  our  hero  was 
represented  to  be  should  sit  up  and  write  letters,  the 
delivery  was  deferred  for  a  few  days,  when  after  waiting 
that  time,  Mesty  delivered  the  letter  to  the  friar,  and  made 
signs  that  he  was  to  take  back  the  answer.  The  friar 
beckoned  him  that  he  was  to  accompany  him  to  his  room, 
where  he  read  the  letter,  and  then  again  made  signs  to  him 
to  follow  him.  The  friar  led  the  way  to  his  monastery, 
and  as  soon  as  Mesty  was  in  his  cell,  he  summoned  another 
who  could  speak  English  to  act  as  interpreter. 

"  Is  your  master  recovering  ? " 

"  Yes,"  replied  Mesty,  "  he  is  at  present  doing  well." 

"  Have  you  served  him  long  ?  " 

"  No,"  replied  Mesty. 

"  Are  you  very  fond  of  him  ?  does  he  treat  you  wellj 
give  you  plenty  of  money  ? " 

At  these  questions,  the  artful  black  conceived  that  there 
was  something  in  the  wind,  and  he  therefore  very  quietly 
replied,  "  I  do  not  care  much  for  him." 

The  friar  fixed  his  keen  eye  upon  Mesty,  and  perceived 
there  was  a  savage  look  about  the  black,  from  which  he 
augured  that  he  was  a  man  who  would  suit  his  purpose. 

"  Your  master  offers  me  a  thousand  dollars  ;  would  you 
wish  to  gain  this  money  for  yourself  ? " 

Mesty  grinned,  and  showed  his  sharp-filed  teeth. 

*'  It  would  make  me  a  rich  man  in  my  own  country." 

*'  It  would,"  replied  the  friar ;  "  now,  you  shall  have  it, 
if  you  will  only  give  your  master  a  small  powder." 

"I  understand,"  replied  Mesty,  "hab  those  things  in 
my  country." 


334  M^  Midshipman  Easy 

"  Well — do  you  consent  ? — if  so,  I  will  write  the  letter 
to  get  the  money." 

"  Suppose  they  find  me  out  ?  "  replied  Mesty. 

"  You  will  be  safe,  and  you  shall  be  sent  away  as  soon 
as  possible — say,  will  you  consent  ? " 

"  The  whole  thousand  dollars  ?  " 

"  Every  one  of  them." 

"  Den  give  me  the  powder  !  " 

*'  Stay  a  little,"  replied  the  friar,  who  went  out  of  the 
cell,  and,  in  about  ten  minutes,  returned  with  an  answer 
to  our  hero's  letter,  and  a  paper  containing  a  greyish 
powder. 

"  Give  him  this  in  his  soup  or  anything — spread  it  on 
his  meat,  or  mix  it  up  with  his  sugar  if  he  eats  an 
orange." 

"  I  see,"  replied  Mesty. 

"  The  dollars  shall  be  yours,  I  swear  it  on  the  holy 
cross." 

Mesty  grinned  horribly,  took  his  credentials,  and  then 
asked,  "  When  I  come  again  ?  " 

"  As  soon  as  you  have  received  the  money  bring  it  to 
me  at  Don  Rebiera's — then  give  the  powder  :  as  soon  as  it 
is  given  you  must  let  me  know,  for  you  must  not  remain 
in  Palermo.  I  will  myself  conduct  you  to  a  place  of 
safety." 

Mesty  then  quitted  the  cell,  and  was  shown  out  of  the 
monastery. 

**  By  de  holy  poker,  he  one  d n  rascal !  "  muttered 

Mesty,  as  he  was  once  in  the  open  air.  "  But  stop  a 
little." 

The  Ashantee  soon  arrived  at  the  barracks,  and  repeated 
the  whole  of  the  conference  between  him  and  the  Friar 
Thomaso. 

"  It  must  be  poison,  of  course,"  observed  Gascoigne ; 
"  suppose  we  try  it  upon  some  animal  ?  " 

••  No,  Massa  Gascoigne,"  replied  Mesty,  "  I  try  it 
myself,  by-and-bye.     Now  what  we  do  ?  " 

"  I  must  give  you  the  order  for  the  thousand  dollars. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  335 

Mesty,"  replied  Jack.  "  The  rascal  here  writes  to  me 
that  for  that  sum,  he  will  consent  not  only  not  to  oppose 
me,  but  agrees  to  assist  my  cause  j  but  the  great  question 
is,  whether  he  will  keep  his  word  with  you,  Mesty ;  if 
not,  I  shall  lose  my  money.  So  therefore  we  must  now 
have  another  palaver,  and  argue  the  point." 

The  point  was  argued  between  Jack  and  Gascoigne. 
A  thousand  dollars  was  a  large  sum,  but  Jack's  father  was 
a  philosopher.  After  many  pros  and  cons,  it  was  at  last 
decided  that  the  money  should  be  given  to  Mesty  ;  but 
Mesty  should  state,  when  he  took  the  money  to  the  friar, 
that  he  had  administered  the  powder,  and  claim  it  when  he 
presented  it. 

The  next  day,  the  order  for  the  money  was  given  to 
Mesty,  and  he  went  to  the  Friar  Thomaso  with  it.  The 
friar  hastened  with  Mesty  to  the  monastery,  and  sent  for 
the  interpreter. 

**  You  have  given  it  ?  "  inquired  the  friar. 

"  Yes — not  one  hour  ago.  Here  de  order  for  de 
money." 

"  You  must  run  for  the  money  before  he  is  dead,  for 
the  powder  is  very  rapid." 

"  And  me,"  replied  Mesty,  apparently  much  alarmed, 
**  where  am  I  to  go  .'*  " 

"  As  soon  as  you  bring  the  money  here,  you  must  go 
back  to  the  barracks.  Remain  there  till  he  is  dead,  and 
then  return  here.  I  will  have  all  ready,  and  take  you,  as 
soon  as  it  is  dusk,  to  a  monastery  of  our  order  in  the 
mountains,  where  no  one  will  think  of  looking  for  you, 
till  the  affair  is  blown  over ;  and  then  I  will  find  you  a 
passage  in  some  vessel  out  of  the  island." 

Mesty  hastened  for  the  money,  and  taking  it  in  a  large 
bag  to  the  monastery,  delivered  it  to  the  friar's  charge, 
and  then  returned  to  the  barracks  to  Easy  and  Gascoigne. 
It  was  agreed  that  he  should  go  with  the  friar,  who  would 
probably  remain  away  some  time  ;  indeed,  Mesty  insisted 
upon  so  doing.  Mesty  stayed  two  hours,  and  then  re- 
turned about   dusk  to  the  monastery,  and  reported  the 


^^6  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

death  of  our  hero.  He  remained  there  until  it  was  dark, 
and  then  the  friar  ordered  him  to  tie  the  bag  of  dollars 
to  his  saddle-bow.  They  mounted  two  mules,  which 
stood  already  caparisoned,  and  quitted  Palermo. 

In  the  morning  Don  Philip,  as  usual,  made  his  appear- 
ance, and  told  our  hero  that  the  friar  had  been  summoned 
away  by  the  abbot,  and  would  not  return  for  some 
time. 

"  I  came  to  tell  you  this  news,"  said  Don  Philip,  "  as  I 
thought  it  would  please  you ;  the  sooner  you  are  now  well 
the  better.  I  mean  to  propose  your  being  both  removed 
to  my  father's  palazzo,  and  then  you  can  recover  your  lost 
ground  during  the  confessor's  absence." 

**  And  I  have  the  means,"  replied  Jack,  showing  the 
friar's  letter.  Don  Philip  read  it  with  astonishment,  but 
was  still  more  surprised  when  he  heard  the  whole  story 
from  Jack.     He  was  for  a  time  silent :  at  last  he  said,' — 

"  I  am  sorry  for  your  poor  black." 

*'  Why  so  ?  "  replied  Jack. 

"  You  will  never  see  him  again,  depend  upon  it.  A 
thousand  dollars  would  sign  the  death  warrant  of  a 
thousand  blacks  j  but  there  is  another  reason — they  will 
put  him  out  of  the  way,  that  he  may  not  give  evidence. 
"Where  is  the  powder  ?  " 

"  Mesty  has  it ;  he  would  not  part  with  it." 

"  He  is  a  shrewd  fellow,  that  black ;  he  may  be  too 
much  for  the  friar,"  replied  Don  Philip. 

"He  means  mischief,  I'm  sure,"  replied  Gascoigne. 

**  Still  I  feel  a  great  deal  of  alarm  about  him,"  replied 
Easy ;  **  I  wish  now  that  I  had  not  let  him  go." 

**  Are  you  sure  that  he  went  ?  " 

"  No,  I  am  not ;  but  the  friar  told  him  that  he  should 
take  him  to  the  mountains  as  soon  as  it  was  dark." 

"And  probably  he  will,"  replied  Don  Philip,  "as  the 
best  place  to  get  rid  of  him.  However,  the  whole  of  this 
story  must  be  told  both  to  my  father  and  my  mother ;  to 
the  former,  that  he  may  take  the  right  measures,  and  to 
my  mother,  that  it  may  open  her  eyes.     Give  me  the  copy 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  337 

of  the  letter  you  wrote  to  the  friar,  and  then  I  shall  have 
it  all." 

The  report  of  the  accident  which  had  occurred  to  Easy 
and  Gascoigne  had  been  spread  and  fully  believed 
throughout  Palermo.  Indeed,  as  usual,  it  had  been 
magnified,  and  asserted  that  they  could  not  recover.  To 
Agnes  only  had  the  case  been  imparted  in  confidence 
by  Don  Philip,  for  her  distress  at  the  first  intelli- 
gence had  been  so  great  that  her  brother  could  not  conceal 
it. 

Two  days  after  Don  Philip  had  made  his  parents 
acquainted  with  the  villany  of  the  friar,  the  midshipmen 
were  transported  to  the  palazzo,  much  to  the  surprise  of 
everybody,  and  much  to  the  renown  of  the  surgeons, 
who  were  indemnified  for  their  duplicity  and  falsehood 
by  an  amazing  extension  of  their  credit  as  skilful 
men. 

After  their  arrival  at  the  palazzo,  Don  Rebiera  was  also 
entrusted  with  the  secret,  but  it  went  no  farther.  As 
now  there  was  no  particular  hurry  for  our  hero  to  get 
well,  he  was  contented  and  happy  in  the  society  of  Agnes 
and  her  parents  ;  the  old  lady,  after  she  had  been  informed 
of  the  conduct  of  Friar  Thomaso,  having  turned  round  in 
our  hero's  favour,  and  made  a  vow  never  to  have  a 
confessor  in  the  house  again.  Jack  and  Gascoigne  were 
now  as  happy  as  could  be ;  all  their  alarm  was  about 
Mesty,  for  whose  return  they  were  most  anxious. 

To  Don  Rebiera,  Jack  made  known  formally  his 
intentions  with  regard  to  Agnes.  He  fully  satisfied  him 
as  to  his  qualifications  and  his  property,  and  Don  Rebiera 
was  fully  aware  of  his  debt  of  gratitude  to  our  hero.  But 
all  he  required  was  the  consent  of  Jack's  father,  and  until 
this  was  obtained,  he  would  not  consent  to  the  marriage 
taking  place.  Jack  attempted  to  argue  the  point  j  his 
father,  he  said,  had  married  without  consulting  him,  and 
therefore  he  had  a  right  to  marry  without  consulting  his 
father.  But  Don  Rebiera,  not  having  any  acquaintance 
with  the  rights  of  man  and  equality,  did  not  feel  the  full 
E  Y 


338  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

force  of  Jack's  argument,  and  made  it  a  sine  qud  non  that 
his  parents  should  write  and  consent  to  the  alliance  before 
it  took  place. 

Chapter  XXXIII 

In  which  Mesty  should  be  called  throughout  Mephistopheles,  for  it  abounds 
in  black  cloaks,  disguises,  daggers,  and  dark  deeds. 

On  the  fourth  evening  after  the  removal  of  our  two  mid- 
shipmen to  the  palazzo  of  Don  Rebiera,  as  they  were 
sitting  in  company  with  Agnes  and  Don  Philip  in  their 
own  room,  a  friar  made  his  appearance  at  the  door.  They 
all  started,  for  by  his  height  they  imagined  him  to  be  the 
Friar  Thomaso,  but  no  one  addressed  him.  The  friar 
shut  the  door  without  saying  a  word,  and  then  lifting  up 
his  cowl,  which  had  been  drawn  over  it,  discovered  the 
black  face  of  Mesty.  Agnes  screamed,  and  all  sprang 
from  their  seats  at  this  unusual  and  unexpected  apparition. 
Mesty  grinned,  and  there  was  that  in  his  countenance 
which  said  that  he  had  much  to  communicate. 

"  Where  is  the  friar — Mesty  ? "  inquired  Easy. 

*'  Stop  a  little,  Massa^ — suppose  we  lock  door  first,  and 
den  I  tell  all." 

Taking  this  precaution,  Mesty  threw  off  the  friar's 
gown,  and  appeared  in  his  own  dress,  with  the  bag  of 
dollars  slung  round  his  body. 

"  Now,  Massa  Easy,  I  hab  a  long  tory  to  tell — so  I  tink 
I  better  begin  at  the  beginning." 

"It  is  the  most  approved  method,"  replied  Jack,  "but 
stop  when  I  hold  up  my  finger,  that  we  may  translate 
what  you  say  to  the  lady  and  Don  Philip." 

"Dat  all  right,  sar.  Friar  and  I  get  on  two  mule  as 
soon  as  it  quite  dark.  He  make  me  carry  all  tousand 
dollars — and  we  ride  out  of  town.  We  go  up  mountain 
and  mountain,  but  the  moon  get  up  shine  and  we  go  on 
cheek  by  jowl — he  nebber  say  one  word,  and  I  nebber  say 
one  word,  'cause  I  no  speak  his  lingo,  and  he  no  under- 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  339 

stand  my  English.  About  two  o'clock  In  de  morning,  we 
stop  at  a  house  and  stay  dere  till  eight  o'clock,  and  den 
we  go  on  again  all  next  day,  up  all  mountain,  only  stop 
once,  eat  a  bit  bread  and  drink  lilly  wine.  Second  night 
come  on,  and  den  we  stop  again,  and  people  bow  very  low 
to  him,  and  woman  bring  in  rabbit  for  make  supper.  I  go 
in  the  kitchen,  woman  make  stew  smell  very  nice,  so 
I  nod  my  head,  and  I  say  very  good,  and  she  make  a  face, 
and  throw  on  table  black  loaf  of  bread  and  garlic,  and 
make  sign  dat  for  my  supper ;  good  enough  for  black 
fellow,  and  dat  rabbit  stew  for  friar.  Den  I  say  to  myself, 
stop  a  little ;  suppose  friar  hab  all  de  rabbit,  I  tink  I  give 
him  a  lilly  powder." 

"The  powder,  Mesty  ?"  exclaimed  Jack. 

"  What  does  he  say  ? "  inquired  Don  Philip. 

Gascolgne  translated  all  that  Mesty  had  communicated. 
The  Interest  of  the  narrative  now  became  exciting.  Mesty 
continued : — 

"Well,  Massa  Easy,  den  woman  she  go  for  dish  to  put 
stew  in,  and  I  take  de  powder  and  drop  It  in  de  pot,  and 
den  I  sit  down  again  and  eat  black  bread,  she  say  good 
enough  for  black  man.  She  tir  up  de  stew  once  more, 
and  den  she  pour  it  out  into  dish,  and  take  It  to  friar.  He 
lick  um  chops,  by  all  de  powers,  and  he  like  um  so  well 
he  pick  all  de  bones,  and  wipe  up  gravy  with  him  bread. 
You  tink  it  very  nice,  Massa  Friar,  tInk  I;  but  stop  a  little. 
After  he  drink  a  whole  bottle  of  wine,  he  tell  em  bring 
mules  to  de  door,  and  he  put  him  hands  on  de  woman 
head,  and  dat  de  way  he  pay  for  him  supper. 

"The  moon  shone  bright,  and  we  go  up  all  mountain, 
always  go  up,  and  'bout  two  hour,  he  get  oiF  him  mule 
and  he  put  him  hand  so,  and  set  down  on  de  rock.  He 
twist,  and  he  turn,  and  he  groan,  for  half  an  hour,  and 
den  he  look  at  me,  as  much  as  to  say,  you  black  villain, 
you  do  this  ?  for  he  not  able  to  speak,  and  den  I  pull  out 
de  paper  of  de  powder,  and  I  show  him,  and  make  him 
sign  he  swallow  it :  he  look  again,  and  I  laugh  at  him — 
and  he  die." 


340  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  Oh,  Mesty,  Mesty,"  exclaimed  our  hero  ;  *'  you 
should  not  have  done  that, — there  will  mischief  come 
from  it." 

"  Now  he  dead,  Massa  Easy,  so  much  less  mischief."       - 

Gascoigne  then  interpreted  to  Don  Philip  and  Agnes, 
the  former  of  whom  looked  very  grave,  and  the  latter 
terrified. 

"  Let  him  go  on,"  said  Don  Philip  ;  "I  am  most  anxious 
to  hear  what  he  did  with  the  body." 

Mesty,  at  the  request  of  our  hero,  proceeded :  *'  Den  I 
thought  what  I  should  do,  and  I  said  I  would  hide  him, 
and  I  tink  I  take  his  coat  for  myself — so  I  pull  off  him 
coat  and  I  pull  off  all  his  oder  clothes — he  not  wear  many — 
and  I  take  the  body  in  my  arm,  and  carry  him  where  I  find 
a  great  split  in  de  rock  above  all  road.  I  throw  him  in, 
and  den  I  throw  plenty  large  pieces  rock  on  him  till  I  no 
see  him  any  more ;  den  I  take  de  two  mules  and  get  on 
mine  wid  de  dollars,  and  lead  de  other  three  four  mile,  till 
I  come  to  a  large  wood — take  off  him  saddle  and  bridle, 
turn  him  adrift.  Den  I  tear  up  all  clothes  all  in  lilly  bits, 
hide  one  piece  here,  noder  piece  dere,  and  de  saddle  and 
bridle  in  de  bush.  All  right,  now,  I  say  ;  so  I  put  on 
friar  cloak,  hide  my  face,  get  on  my  mule,  and  den  I  look 
where  I  shall  go — so  I  say,  I  not  be  in  dis  road  any- 
how, I  pass  through  wood  till  I  find  nother.  I  go 
'bout  two  mile — moon  go  down,  all  dark,  and  five  six 
men  catch  hold  my  bridle,  and  they  all  got  arms,  so  I  do 
noting — they  speak  to  me,  but  I  no  answer,  and  nebber 
show  my  face.  They  find  all  dollars  (d — n  um)  fast 
enough,  and  they  lead  me  away  through  the  wood.  Last 
we  come  to  a  large  fire  in  de  wood,  plenty  of  men  lie 
'bout,  some  eat  and  some  drink.  They  pull  me  off,  and  I 
hold  down  my  head  and  fold  my  arms,  just  like  friar  do. 
They  bring  me  along  to  one  man,  and  pour  out  all  my 
dollar  before  him.  He  give  some  order,  and  they  take  me 
away,  and  I  peep  through  the  cloak,  and  I  say  to  myself, 
he  that  d — n  galley-slave  rascal  Don  Silvio." 

«'  Don  Silvio  ! "  cried  Jack. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  341 

"  What  does  he  say  of  Don  Silvio  ? "  demanded  Don 
Philip. 

Mesty's  narrative  was  again  translated,  and  he  continued. 

"  Dey  led  me  away  'bout  fifty  yards,  tie  me  to  tree,  and 
den  they  leave  me,  and  dey  all  drink  and  make  merry, 
nebber  offer  me  anything,  so  I  hab  noting  den  to  eat;  I  eat 
de  ropes  and  gnaw  them  through  and  den  I  stay  there  two 
hour  until  all  go  asleep,  and  all  quiet ;  for  I  say  to  myself, 
stop  a  little.  Den  when  dey  all  fast  asleep,  I  take  out  my 
knife  and  I  crawl  'long  de  ground,  as  we  do  in  our  country 
sometime — and  den  I  stop  and  look  'bout  me  5  no  man 
watch  but  two,  and  dey  look  out  for  squarl,  not  look  in 
board  where  I  was.  I  crawl  'gain  till  I  lay  down  'longside 
that  d — n  galley-slave  Don  Silvio.  He  lie  fast  asleep  with 
my  bag  thousand  dollars,  under  him  head.  So  I  tink,  'you 
not  hab  dem  long,  you  rascal.'  I  look  round — all  right, 
and  I  drive  my  knife  good  aim  into  him  heart  and  press 
toder  hand  on  him  mouth,  but  he  make  no  noise;  he 
struggle  little  and  look  up,  and  den  I  throw  off  de  head  of 
de  gown  and  show  him  my  black  face,  and  he  look  and 
he  try  to  speak ;  but  I  stop  dat,  for  down  go  my  knife 
again,  and  de  d — n  galley-slave  dead  as  herring." 

"  Stop,  Mesty,  we  must  tell  this  to  Don  Philip,"  said 
Gascoigne. 

"  Dead  !  Don  Silvio  dead  !  well,  Mesty,  we  are  eternally 
obliged  to  you,  for  there  was  no  safety  for  my  father  while 
he  was  living.     Let  him  go  on." 

"  So  when  I  put  de  knife  through  his  body,  I  lie  down 
by  him  as  If  noting  had  happened,  for  ten  minutes,  and 
den  I  take  de  bag  of  dollars  from  under  him  head,  and 
den  I  feel  him  all  over,  and  I  find  him  pistols  and  him 
purse,  which  I  hab  here,  all  gold.  So  I  take  them  and  I 
look — all  asleep,  and  I  crawl  back  to  de  tree.  Den  I  stay 
to  tink  a  little ;  de  man  on  watch  come  up  and  look  at  me, 
but  he  tink  all  right  and  he  go  away  again.  Lucky  ting, 
by  de  power,  dat  I  go  back  to  tree.  I  wait  again,  and 
den  I  crawl  and  crawl  till  I  clear  of  all,  and  den  I  take  to 
my  heel  and  run  for  um  life,  till  daylight  come,  and  den  I 


34^  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

so  tired  I  lie  down  in  bush  j  I  stay  in  bush  all  day,  and 
den  I  set  off  again  back  here,  for  I  find  road  and  know  my 
way.  I  not  eat  den  for  one  day  and  one  night,  and  come 
to  house  where  I  put  my  head  in  and  find  woman  there. 
I  not  able  to  speak,  so  I  help  myself,  and  not  show  my 
face.  She  not  like  dat  and  make  a  bobbery,  but  I  lift  up 
my  cloak  and  show  my  black  face  and  white  teeth,  and 
den  she  tink  me  de  debil.  She  run  out  of  de  house  and  I 
help  myself  very  quick,  and  den  set  off  and  come  close 
here  yesterday  morning.  I  hide  myself  all  day  and  come 
in  at  night,  and  now,  Massa  Easy,  you  ab  all  de  whole 
truth — and  you  ab  your  tousand  dollars — and  you  ab 
got  rid  of  de  rascal  friar  and  de  d — n  galley-slave, 
Don    Silvio." 

"Tell  them  all  this,  Ned,"  said  Jack,  who,  whilst 
Gascoigne  was  so  employed,  talked  with  Mesty. 

"  I  was  very  much  frightened  for  you,  Mesty,"  said 
Jack ;  "  but  still  I  thought  you  quite  as  cunning  as  the 
friar,  and  so  it  has  turned  out  j  but  the  thousand  dollars 
ought  to  be  yours." 

"No,  sar,"  replied  Mesty,  "the  dollars  not  mine  j  but 
I  hab  plenty  of  gold  in  Don  Silvio's  purse — plenty,  plenty 
of  gold.  I  keep  my  property,  Massa  Easy,  and  you  keep 
yours." 

"  I'm  afraid  that  this  affair  may  be  found  out,  Mesty ; 
the  woman  will  spread  the  report  of  having  been  attacked 
by  a  black  friar,  and  that  will  lead  to  suspicion,  as  the 
other  friars  of  the  convent  knew  that  you  left  with  Friar 
Thomaso." 

"  So  I  tink  dat,  but  when  a  man  starve,  he  quite  forget 
his  thought." 

"I  don't  blame  you;  but  now  I  must  talk  to  Don 
Philip." 

"  Suppose  you  no  objection,  while  you  talk  I  eat  some- 
thing from  the  table  then,  Massa  Easy,  for  I  hungry 
enough  to  eat  de  friar,  mule  and  all." 

"  Eat,  my  good  fellow,  and  drink  as  much  as  you 
please." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  343 

The  consultation  between  our  two  midshipmen  and  Don 
Philip  was  not  long  :  they  perceived  the  immediate  necessity 
for  the  departure  of  Mesty,  and  the  suspicion  which  would 
attach  to  themselves.  Don  Philip  and  Agnes  left  them,  to 
go  to  Don  Rebiera,  and  make  him  acquainted  with  what 
had  passed,  and  to  ask  his  advice. 

When  they  went  into  the  room,  Don  Rebiera  immediately 
accosted  his  son. 

"  Have  you  heard,  Philip,  that  Friar  Thomaso  has 
returned  at  last  ? — so  the  servants  tell  me." 

"  The  report  may  be  fortunate,"  replied  Don  Philip ; 
"  but  I  have  another  story  to  tell  you." 

He  then  sat  down  and  imparted  to  Don  Rebiera  all  the 
adventures  of  Mesty.  Don  Rebiera  was  for  some  time  in 
deep  thought ;  at  last  he  replied, — 

**  That  Don  Silvio  is  no  more  is  fortunate,  and  the  negro 
would  be  entitled  to  reward  for  his  destruction — but  for 
the  friar,  that  is  a  bad  business.  The  negro  might  remain 
and  tell  the  whole  story,  and  the  facts  might  be  proved  by 
the  evidence  of  Signor  Easy,  and  the  letters ;  but  what 
then  ?  we  should  raise  the  whole  host  of  the  clergy  against 
our  house,  and  we  have  suffered  too  much  from  them 
already ;  the  best  plan  would  be  the  immediate  departure, 
not  only  of  the  negro  but  of  our  two  young  friends.  The 
supposition  of  Friar  Thomaso  being  here,  and  their  departure 
with  the  negro  servant  to  rejoin  their  ship,  will  remove 
much  suspicion  and  destroy  all  inquiry.  They  must  be  off 
immediately.  Go  to  them,  Philip,  and  point  out  to  them 
the  absolute  necessity  of  this  measure,  and  tell  our  young 
friend  that  I  rigidly  adhere  to  my  promise,  and  as  soon  as 
he  has  his  father's  sanction  I  will  bestow  upon  him  my 
daughter.  In  the  meantime  I  will  send  down  and  see  if  a 
vessel  can  be  chartered  for  Malta." 

Our  hero  and  Gascoigne  fully  admitted  the  wisdom 
of  this  measure,  and  prepared  for  their  departure ;  indeed, 
now  that  Don  Rebiera's  resolution  had  been  made  known 
to  our  hero,  he  cared  more  for  obtaining  his  father's 
consent  than  he  did   for  remaining  to  enjoy  himself  at 


344  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

Palermo  ;  and  before  noon  of  the  next  day  all  was  ready, 
the  vessel  had  been  procured,  Jack  took  his  leave  of 
Agnes  and  her  mother,  and,  accompanied  by  Don  Rebiera 
and  Don  Philip  (for  Don  Martin  was  on  duty  a  few  miles 
from  Palermo),  went  down  to  the  beach,  and,  having  bid 
them  farewell,  embarked  with  Gascoigne  and  Mesty  on 
board  of  the  two-masted  lateen  which  had  been  engaged, 
and  before  sunset  not  a  steeple  of  Palermo  was  to  be  seen. 

"  "What  are  you  thinking  of.  Jack  ? "  said  Gascoigne, 
after  our  hero  had  been  silent  half-an-hour. 

"  I  have  been  thinking,  Ned,  that  we  are  well  out  of 
it." 

**  So  do  I,"  replied  Gascoigne  j  and  here  the  conversation 
dropped  for  a  time. 

"  What  are  you  thinking  of  now,  Jack  ? "  said  Gas- 
coigne, after  a  long  pause. 

"  I've  been  thinking  that  I've  a  good  story  for  the  old 
governor." 

"  Very  true,"  replied  Gascoigne  j  and  both  were  again 
silent  for  some  time. 

"  What  are  you  thinking  of  now.  Jack  ? "  said  Gas- 
coigne, after  another  long  interval. 

"  I've  been  thinking  that  I  shall  leave  the  service," 
replied  Jack. 

"I  wish  you  would  take  me  with  you,"  replied 
Gascoigne,  with  a  sigh  j  and  again  they  were  both  in 
deep  contemplation. 

"  What  are  you  thinking  of  now.  Jack  ? "  said  Gascoigne 
again. 

"  Of  Agnes,"  replied  our  hero. 

**  Well,  if  that's  the  case,  I'll  call  you  when  supper's 
ready.     In  the  meantime  I'll  go  and  talk  with  Mesty." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  345 


Chapter  XXXIV 

Jack  leaves  the  service,  in  which  he  had  no  business,  and  goes  home  to  mind 
his  own  business. 

On  the  fourth  day  they  arrived  at  Malta,  and  our  two 
midshipmen,  as  soon  as  they  had  settled  with  the  padrone 
of  the  vessel,  went  up  to  the  government  house.  They 
found  the  governor  in  the  veranda,  who  held  out  both 
his  hands,  one  to  each. 

*'  Glad  to  see  you,  my  lads.  Well,  Jack,  how's  the 
leg — all  right  ?  don't  limp  ?     And  your  arm,  Gascoigne  ? " 

"  All  right,  sir,  and  as  sound  as  ever  it  was,"  replied 
they  both. 

"  Then  you're  in  luck,  and  have  made  more  haste  than 
you  deserve,  after  your  mad  pranks  :  but  now  sit  down, 
and  I  suppose,  my  friend  Jack,  you  have  a  story  to  tell 
me. 

"  O  yes,  Sir  Thomas,  and  a  very  long  one." 

"  Then  I  won't  have  it  now,  for  I  expect  people  on 
business ;  we'll  have  it  after  dinner.  Get  your  things 
up  and  take  possession  of  your  rooms.  The  Aurora  sailed 
four  days  ago.     You've  had  a  wonderful  recovery." 

"Wonderful,  sir!"  replied  our  hero;  "all  Palermo 
rings  with  it." 

"Well  you  may  go  now — I  shall  see  you  at  dinner. 
Wilson  will  be  delighted  when  he  hears  that  you  have 
got  round  again,  for  he  was  low-spirited  about  it,  I  can 
tell  you,  which  is  more  than  you  deserve." 

"  He's  right  there,"  said  our  hero  to  Gascoigne,  as  they 
walked  away. 

When  dinner  was  over.  Jack  narrated  to  the  governor 
the  adventures  of  Mesty,  with  which  he  was  much  in- 
terested ;  but  when  they  were  quite  alone  in  the  evening, 
the  governor  called  our  two  midshipmen  into  the  veranda, 
and  said, — 

"Now  my  lads,  I'm  not  going  to  preach,  as  the  saying 


34^  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

is,  but  I've  been  long  enough  in  the  world  to  know  that 
a  compound  fracture  of  the  leg  is  not  cured  in  fourteen 
or  sixteen  days.  I  ask  you  to  tell  me  the  truth.  Did  not 
you  deceive  Captain  Wilson  on  this  point  ? " 

"  I  am  ashamed  to  say  that  we  did,  sir,"  replied  Easy. 

"  How  did  you  manage  that,  and  why  ?" 

Jack  then  went  into  further  details  relative  to  himself 
and  his  amour,  stating  his  wish  to  be  left  behind,  and  all 
that  had  passed. 

"  Well,  there's  some  excuse  for  you,  but  none  for  the 
surgeons.  If  any  surgeon  here  had  played  such  a  trick, 
I  would  have  hung  him,  as  sure  as  I'm  governor.  This 
affair  of  yours  has  become  serious.  Mr  Easy,  we  must 
have  some  conversation  on  the  matter  to-morrow  morn- 
ing." 

The  next  morning  the  packet  from  England  was  reported 
off  the  harbour's  mouth.  After  breakfast  the  letters  were 
brought  on  shore,  and  the  governor  sent  for  our  hero. 

'*  Mr  Easy,  here  are  two  letters  for  you  ;  I  am  sorry  to 
say,  with  black  seals.  I  trust  that  they  do  not  bring  the 
intelligence  of  the  death  of  any  very  near  relative." 

Jack  bowed  without  speaking,  took  the  letters,  and 
went  to  his  room.  The  first  he  opened  was  from  his 
father. 

"  My  dear  John, — You  will  be  much  grieved  to  hear 
that  your  poor  mother,  after  sitting  in  the  corner  for 
nearly  two  years  waiting  for  the  millennium,  appeared  to 
pine  away  ;  whether  from  disappointment  or  not  I  do 
not  know ;  but  at  last,  in  spite  of  all  Dr  Middleton 
could  do,  she  departed  this  life  j  and,  as  the  millennium 
would  not  come  to  her  as  she  expected,  it  is  to  be  hoped 
she  is  gone  to  the  millennium.  She  was  a  good  wife,  and 
I  always  let  her  have  her  own  way.  Dr  Middleton  does 
not  appear  to  be  satisfied  as  to  the  cause  of  her  death, 
and  has  wished  to  examine  ;  but  I  said  no,  for  I  am  a 
philosopher,  and  it  is  no  use  looking  for  causes  after 
effects  ;  but  I  have  done  since  her  death  what  she  never 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  347 

would  permit  me  to  do  during  her  hfe.  I  have  had  her 
head  shaved,  and  examined  it  very  carefully  as  a  phreno- 
logist, and  most  curiously  has  she  proved  the  truth  of 
the  sublime  science.  I  will  give  you  the  result.  Deter- 
mination, very  prominent ;  Benevolence,  small ;  Caution, 
extreme ;  Veneration,  not  very  great ;  Philo-progenitive- 
ness,  strange  to  say,  is  very  large,  considering  she  has 
but  one  child ;  Imagination,  very  strong  :  you  know,  my 
dear  boy,  she  was  always  imagining  some  nonsense  or 
another.  Her  other  organs  were  all  moderate.  Poor 
dear  creature !  she  is  gone,  and  we  may  well  wail,  for 
a  better  mother  or  a  better  wife  never  existed.  And 
now,  my  dear  boy,  I  must  request  that  you  call  for  your 
discharge,  and  come  home  as  soon  as  possible.  I  cannot 
exist  without  you,  and  I  require  your  assistance  in  the 
grand  work  I  have  in  contemplation.  The  time  is  at 
hand,  the  cause  of  equality  will  soon  triumph  j  the  abject 
slaves  now  hold  up  their  heads ;  I  have  electrified  them 
with  my  speeches,  but  I  am  getting  old  and  feeble ;  I 
require  my  son  to  leave  my  mantle  to,  as  one  prophet  did 
to  another,  and  then  I  will,  like  him,  ascend  in  glory. 
"  Your  affectionate  Father, 

"  NicoDEMus  Easy." 

From  this  it  would  appear,  thought  Jack,  that  my 
mother  is  dead,  and  that  my  father  is  mad.  For  some 
time  our  hero  remained  in  a  melancholy  mood ;  he  dropped 
many  tears  to  the  memory  of  his  mother,  whom,  if  he  had 
never  respected,  he  had  much  loved  :  and  it  was  not  till 
half  an  hour  had  elapsed,  that  he  thought  of  opening  the 
other  letter.     It  was  from  Dr  Middleton. 

"  My  DEAR  Boy, — Although  not  a  correspondent  of 
yours,  I  take  the  right  of  having  watched  you  through 
all  your  childhood,  and  from  a  knowledge  of  your  dis- 
position, to  write  you  a  few  lines.  That  you  have,  by 
this  time,  discarded  your  father's  foolish,  nonsensical 
philosophy,  I  am  very  sure.     It  was  I  who  advised  your 


348  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

going  away  for  that  purpose,  and  I  am  sure,  that,  as  a 
young  man  of  sense,  and  the  heir  to  a  large  property, 
you  will  before  this  have  seen  the  fallacy  of  your  father's 
doctrines.  Your  father  tells  me  that  he  has  requested 
you  to  come  home,  and  allow  me  to  add  any  weight  I  may 
have  with  you  in  persuading  you  to  do  the  same.  It  is 
fortunate  for  you  that  the  estate  is  entailed,  or  you  might 
soon  be  a  beggar,  for  there  is  no  saying  what  debts  he 
might,  in  his  madness,  be  guilty  of.  He  has  already  been 
dismissed  from  the  magistracy  by  the  lord-lieutenant,  in 
consequence  of  his  haranguing  the  discontented  peasantry, 
and  I  may  say,  exciting  them  to  acts  of  violence  and  in- 
subordination. He  has  been  seen  dancing  and  hurrahing 
round  a  stack  fired  by  an  incendiary.  He  has  turned 
away  his  keepers,  and  allowed  all  poachers  to  go  over 
the  manor.  In  short,  he  is  not  in  his  senses  ;  and,  although 
I  am  far  from  advising  coercive  measures,  I  do  consider 
that  it  is  absolutely  necessary  that  you  should  immediately 
return  home,  and  look  after  what  will  one  day  be  your 
property.  You  have  no  occasion  to  follow  the  profession, 
with  eight  thousand  pounds  per  annum.  You  have  dis- 
tinguished yourself, — now  make  room  for  those  who 
require  it  for  their  subsistence.  God  bless  you.  I  shall 
soon  hope  to  shake  hands  with  you. 

*'  Yours  most  truly, 

"  G.  MiDDLETON." 

There  was  matter  for  deep  reflection  in  these  two 
letters,  and  Jack  never  felt  before  how  much  his  father  had 
been  in  the  wrong.  That  he  had  gradually  been  weaned 
from  his  ideas  was  true,  but  still  he  had,  to  a  certain 
degree,  clung  to  them,  as  we  do  to  a  habit ;  but  now 
he  felt  that  his  eyes  were  opened ;  the  silly,  almost 
unfeeling  letter  of  his  father  upon  the  occasion  of  his 
mother's  death,  opened  his  eyes.  For  a  long  while  Jack 
was  in  a  melancholy  meditation,  and  then  casting  his  eyes 
upon  his  watch,  he  perceived  that  it  was  almost  dinner- 
time.    That  he  could  eat  his  dinner  was  certain,  and  he 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  349 

scorned  to  pretend  to  feel  what  he  did  not.  He  there- 
fore dressed  himself  and  went  down,  grave,  it  is  true, 
but  not  in  tears.  He  spoke  little  at  dinner,  and  retired 
as  soon  as  it  was  over,  presenting  his  two  letters  to 
the  governor,  and  asking  his  advice  for  the  next  morning. 
Gascoigne  followed  him,  and  to  him  he  confided  his 
trouble ;  and  Ned,  finding  that  Jack  was  very  low- 
spirited,  consoled  him  to  the  best  of  his  power,  and 
brought  a  bottle  of  wine  which  he  procured  from  the 
butler.  Before  they  returned  to  bed.  Jack  had  given 
his  ideas  to  his  friend,  which  were  approved  of,  and 
wishing  him  a  good-night,  he  threw  himself  into  bed, 
and  was  soon  fast  asleep. 

"  One  thing  is  certain,  my  good  fellow,"  observed  the 
governor  to  our  hero,  as  he  gave  him  back  his  letters 
at  the  breakfast  table  the  next  morning  j  "  that  your 
father  is  as  mad  as  a  March  hare.  I  agree  with  that 
doctor,  who  appears  a  sensible  man,  that  you  had  better 
go  home  immediately." 

"  And  leave  the  service  altogether,  sir  ? "  replied  Jack. 

"  "Why,  I  must  say,  that  I  do  not  think  you  exactly 
fitted  for  it.  I  shall  be  sorry  to  lose  you,  as  you  have 
a  wonderful  talent  for  adventure,  and  I  shall  have  no 
more  yarns  to  hear  when  you  return  ;  but,  if  I  under- 
stand right  from  Captain  Wilson,  you  were  brought  into 
the  profession  because  he  thought  that  the  service  might 
be  of  use  in  eradicating  false  notions,  rather  than  from 
any  intention  or  necessity  of  your  following  it  up  as  a 
profession." 

*' I  suspect  that  was  the  case,  sir,"  replied  Jack 5  "as, 
for  my  own  part,  I  hardly  know  why  I  entered  it." 

'<  To  find  a  mare's  nest,  my  lad ;  I've  heard  all  about 
it ;  but  never  mind  that :  the  question  is  now  about 
your  leaving  it,  to  look  after  your  own  property,  and  I 
think  I  may  venture  to  say,  that  I  can  arrange  all  that 
matter  at  once,  without  referring  to  admiral  or  captain. 
I  will  be  responsible  for  you,  and  you  may  go  home  in 
the  packet,  which  sails  on  Wednesday  for  England." 


350  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  Thank  you,  Sir  Thomas,  I  am  much  obliged  to  you," 
replied  Jack. 

"  You,  Mr  Gascoigne,  I  shall,  of  course,  send  out  by 
the  first  opportunity  to  rejoin  your  ship." 

"  Thank  you.  Sir  Thomas,  I  am  much  obliged  to  you," 
replied  Gascoigne,  making  a  bow. 

"  You'll  break  no  more  arms,  if  you  please,  sir,"  con- 
tinued the  governor j  "a.  man  in  love  may  have  some 
excuse  in  breaking  his  leg,  but  you  had  none." 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,  sir ;  if  Mr  Easy  was  warranted 
in  breaking  his  leg  out  of  love,  I  submit  that  I  could  do 
no  less  than  break  my  arm  out  of  friendship." 

*'  Hold  your  tongue,  sir,  or  I'll  break  your  head  from 
the  very  opposite  feeling,"  replied  the  governor,  good- 
humouredly.  "But  observe,  young  man,  I  shall  keep 
this  affair  secret,  as  in  honour  bound ;  but  let  me  advise 
you,  as  you  have  only  your  profession  to  look  to,  to 
follow  it  up  steadily.  It  is  high  time  that  you  and  Mr 
Easy  were  separated.  He  is  independent  of  the  service, 
and  you  are  not.  A  young  man  possessing  such  ample 
means  will  never  be  fitted  for  the  duties  of  a  junior  officer. 
He  can  do  no  good  for  himself,  and  is  certain  to  do  much 
harm  to  others  :  a  continuance  of  his  friendship  would 
probably  end  in  your  ruin,  Mr  Gascoigne.  You  must 
be  aware,  that  if  the  greatest  indulgence  had  not  been 
shown  to  Mr  Easy  by  his  captain  and  first  lieutenant, 
he  never  could  have  remained  in  the  service  so  long  as 
he  has  done." 

As  the  governor  made  the  last  remark  in  rather  a  severe 
tone,  our  two  midshipmen  were  silent  for  a  minute.  At 
last  Jack  observed,  very  quietly, — 

"  And  yet,  sir,  I  think,  considering  all,  I  have  behaved 
pretty  well." 

"  You  have  behaved  very  well,  my  good  lad,  on  all 
occasions  in  which  your  courage  and  conduct,  as  an  officer, 
have  been  called  forth.  I  admit  it  j  and  had  you  been  sent 
to  sea  with  a  .mind  properly  regulated,  and  without  such 
an  unlimited  command  of  money.  I  have  no  doubt  but  that 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  351 

you  would  have  proved  an  ornament  to  the  service.  Even 
now  I  think  you  would,  if  you  were  to  remain  in  the 
service  under  proper  guidance  and  necessary  restrictions, 
for  you  have,  at  least,  learnt  to  obey,  which  is  absolutely 
necessary  before  you  are  fit  to  command.  But  recollect, 
what  your  conduct  would  have  brought  upon  you,  if  you 
had  not  been  under  the  parental  care  of  Captain  Wilson. 
But  let  us  say  no  more  about  that :  a  midshipman  with  the 
prospect  of  eight  thousand  pounds  a-year  is  an  anomaly  which 
the  service  cannot  admit,  especially  when  that  midshipman 
is  resolved  to  take  to  himself  a  wife." 

*'  I  hope  that  you  approve  of  that  step,  sir." 

"  That  entirely  depends  upon  the  merit  of  the  party,  which 
I  know  nothing  of,  except  that  she  has  a  pretty  face,  and 
is  of  one  of  the  best  Sicilian  families.     I  think  the  difference 
of  religion  a  ground  of  objection." 
•  "  We  will  argue  that  point,  sir,"  replied  Jack. 

"  Perhaps  it  will  be  the  cause  of  more  argument  than 
you  think  for,  Mr  Easy  ;  but  every  man  makes  his  own  bed, 
and  as  he  makes  it,  so  must  he  lie  down  in  it." 

"  What  am  I  to  do  about  Mesty,  sir  ?  I  cannot  bear 
the  idea  of  parting  with  him." 

"  I  am  afraid  that  you  must ;  I  cannot  well  interfere 
there." 

"  He  is  of  little  use  to  the  service,  sir ;  he  has  been 
sent  to  sick  quarters  as  my  servant :  if  he  may  be  permitted 
to  go  home  with  me,  I  will  procure  his  discharge  as  soon 
as  I  arrive,  and  send  him  on  board  the  guard-ship  till  I 
obtain  it." 

**  I  think  that,  on  the  whole,  he  is  as  well  out  of  the 
service  as  in  it,  and  therefore  I  will,  on  consideration,  take 
upon  myself  the  responsibility,  provided  you  do  as  you 
say." 

The  conversation  was  here  ended,  as  the  governor  had 
business  to  attend  to,  and  Jack  and  Gascoigne  went  to  their 
rooms  to  make  their  arrangements. 

"  The  governor  is  right,"  observed  Gascoigne ;  **  it  is 
better  that  we  part.  Jack.     You  have  half  unfitted  me  for 


352  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

the  service  already  ;  I  have  a  disgust  of  the  midshipmen's 
berth  ;  the  very  smell  of  pitch  and  tar  has  become  odious 
to  me.  This  is  all  wrong  ;  I  must  forget  you  and  all  our 
pleasant  cruises  on  shore,  and  once  more  swelter  in  my 
greasy  jacket.  When  I  think  that,  if  our  pretended 
accidents  were  discovered,  I  should  be  dismissed  the 
service,  and  the  misery  which  that  would  cause  to  my  poor 
father,  I  tremble  at  my  escape.  The  governor  is  right. 
Jack ;  we  must  part,  but  I  hope  you  never  will  forget 
me. 

"  My  hand  upon  it,  Ned.  Command  my  interest,  if  ever 
I  have  any — my  money — what  I  have,  and  the  house, 
whether  it  belongs  to  me  or  my  father — as  far  as  you  are 
concerned  at  least,  I  adhere  to  my  notions  of  perfect 
equality." 

"  And  abjure  them,  I  trust.  Jack,  as  a  universal  principle.'* 

"  I  admit,  as  the  governor  asserts,  that  my  father  is  as 
mad  as  a  March  hare." 

*'  That  is  sufficient ;  you  don't  know  how  glad  it  makes 
me  to  hear  you  say  that." 

The  two  friends  were  inseparable  during  the  short  time 
that  they  remained  together.  They  talked  over  their 
future  prospects,  their  hopes  and  anticipations,  and  when 
the  conversation  flagged,  Gascoigne  brought  up  the  name 
of  Agnes. 

Mesty's  delight  at  leaving  the  service,  and  going  home 
with  his  patron  was  indescribable.  He  laid  out  a  portion 
of  his  gold  in  a  suit  of  plain  clothes,  white  linen  shirts, 
and  in  every  respect  the  wardrobe  of  a  man  of  fashion  ;  in 
fact,  he  was  now  a  complete  gentleman's  gentleman ;  was 
very  particular  in  frizzing  his  woolly  hair — wore  a  white 
neck-cloth,  gloves,  and  cane.  Every  one  felt  inclined  to 
laugh  when  he  made  his  appearance  ;  but  there  was  some- 
thing in  Mesty's  look,  which,  at  all  events,  prevented  their 
doing  so  before  his  face.  The  day  for  sailing  arrived. 
Jack  took  leave  of  the  governor,  thanking  him  for  his 
great  kindness,  and  stating  his  intention  of  taking  Malta  in 
his  way  out  to  Palermo  in  a  month  or  two.     Gascoigne 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  ^^^ 

went  on  board  with  him,  and  did  not  go  down  the  vessel's 
side  till  it  was  more  than  a  mile  clear  of  the  harbour. 


Chapter    XXXV 

Mr  Easy's  wonderful  invention  fully  explained  by  himself — much  to  the 
satisfaction  of  our  hero,  and  it  is  to  be  presumed  to  that  also  of  the 
reader. 

At  last  the  packet  anchored  in  Falmouth  Roads.  Jack, 
accompanied  by  Mesty,  was  soon  on  shore  with  his  lug 
gage,  threw  himself  into  the  mail,  arrived  in  London, 
and,  waiting  there  two  or  three  days,  to  obtain  what  he 
considered  necessary  from  a  fashionable  tailor,  ordered  a 
chaise  to  Forest  Hill.  He  had  not  written  to  his  father 
to  announce  his  arrival,  and  it  was  late  in  the  morning 
when  the  chaise  drew  up  at  his  father's  door. 

Jack  stepped  out  and  rang  the  bell.  The  servants  who 
opened  the  door  did  not  know  him  -,  they  were  not  the 
same  as  those  he  left. 

"  Where  is  Mr  Easy  ? "  demanded  Jack. 

"  Who  are  you  ? "  replied  one  of  the  men,  in  a  gruff 
tone. 

"By  de  powers,  you  very  soon  find  out  who  he  is," 
observed  Mesty. 

*'  Stay  here,  and  I'll  see  if  he  is  at  home." 

"  Stay  here  ?  stay  in  the  hall  like  a  footman  ?  What  do 
you  mean,  you  rascal  ?  "  cried  Jack,  attempting  to  push  by 
the  man. 

"  O,  that  won't  do  here,  master  ;  this  is  Equality  Hall ; 
one  man's  as  good  as  another." 

"  Not  always,"  replied  Jack,  knocking  him  down. 
"Take  that  for  your  insolence,  pack  up  your  traps,  and 
walk  out  of  the  house  to-morrow  morning." 

Mesty,  in  the  meantime,  had  seized  the  other  by  the 
throat. 

"  What  I  do  with  this  fellow,  Massa  Easy  .? " 
E  z 


354  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  Leave  him  now,  Mesty :  we'll  settle  their  account  to- 
morrow morning.  I  presume  I  shall  find  my  father  in 
the  library." 

**  His  father  !  "  said  one  of  the  men  to  the  other ;  "  he's 
not  exactly  a  chip  of  the  old  block." 

"  We  shall  have  a  change,  I  expect,"  replied  the  other, 
as  they  walked  away. 

"Mesty,"  cried  Jack,  in  an  authoritative  tone,  "bring 
those  two  rascals  back  to  take  the  luggage  out  of  the 
chaise ;  pay  the  postilion,  and  tell  the  housekeeper  to  show 
you  my  room,  and  yours.  Come  to  me  for  orders  as  soon 
as  you  have  done  this." 

"Yes,  sir,"  replied  Mesty.  "Now  come  here,  you 
d — n  blackguard,  and  take  tings  out  of  chaise,  or  by  de 
holy  poker  I  choak  your  luff,  both  of  you." 

The  filed  teeth,  the  savage  look,  and  determination  of 
Mesty,  had  the  due  effect.  The  men  sullenly  returned,  and 
unloaded  the  chaise.  In  the  meantime,  Jack  walked  into 
his  father's  study ;  his  father  was  there — the  study  was 
lighted  up  with  argand  lamps,  and  Jack  looked  with 
astonishment.  Mr  Easy  was  busy  with  a  plaster  cast  of  a 
human  head,  which  he  pored  over,  so  that  he  did  not  per- 
ceive the  entrance  of  his  son.  The  cast  of  the  skull  was 
divided  into  many  compartments,  with  writing  on  each; 
but  what  most  astonished  our  hero  was  the  alteration  in 
the  apartment.  The  book-cases  and  books  had  all  been 
removed,  and  in  the  centre,  suspended  from  the  ceiling, 
was  an  apparatus  which  would  have  puzzled  any  one,  com- 
posed of  rods  in  every  direction,  with  screws  at  the  end  of 
them,  and  also  tubes  in  equal  number,  one  of  which  com- 
municated with  a  large  air-pump,  which  stood  on  a  table. 
Jack  took  a  short  survey,  and  then  walked  up  to  his  father 
and  accosted  him. 

"  What !  "  exclaimed  Mr  Easy,  "is  it  possible  ? — yes,  it 
is  my  son  John !  I'm  glad  to  see  you,  John, — very  glad, 
indeed,"  continued  the  old  gentleman,  shaking  him  by  both 
hands — "very  glad  that  you  have  come  home;  I  wanted 
you — wanted    your   assistance  in  my  great   and   glorious 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  355 

project,  which,  I  thank  Heaven,  is  now  advancing  rapidly. 
Very  soon  shall  equality  and  the  rights  of  man  be  pro- 
claimed everywhere.  The  pressure  from  without  is 
enormous,  and  the  bulwarks  of  our  ridiculous  and  tyran- 
nical constitution  must  give  way.  King,  lords,  and 
aristocrats ;  landholders,  tithe-collectors,  church  and  state, 
thank  God,  will  soon  be  overthrown,  and  the  golden  age 
revived — the  millennium — the  true  millennium — not  what 
your  poor  mother  talked  about.  I  am  at  the  head  of 
twenty-nine  societies,  and  if  my  health  lasts,  you  will  see 
what  I  will  accomplish  now  that  I  have  your  assistance. 
Jack  ; "  and  Mr  Easy's  eyes  sparkled  and  flashed  in  all 
the  brilliancy  of  incipient  insanity. 

Jack  sighed,  and  to  turn  the  conversation  he  observed, 
**  You  have  made  a  great  change  in  this  room,  sir.  What 
may  all  this  be  for  ?  Is  it  a  machine  to  improve  equality 
and  the  rights  of  man  ? " 

**  My  dear  son,"  replied  Mr  Easy,  sitting  down  and 
crossing  his  legs  complacently,  with  his  two  hands  under 
his  right  thigh,  according  to  his  usual  custom,  when  much 
pleased  with  himself, — "  why,  my  dear  son,  that  is  not 
exactly  the  case,  and  yet  you  have  shown  some  degree  of 
perception  even  in  your  guess  ;  for  if  my  invention 
succeeds  (and  I  have  no  doubt  of  it),  I  shall  have 
discovered  the  great  art  of  rectifying  the  mistakes  of 
nature,  and  giving  an  equality  of  organisation  to  the 
whole  species,  of  introducing  all  the  finer  organs  of 
humanity,  and  of  destroying  the  baser.  It  is  a  splendid 
invention.  Jack,  very  splendid.  They  may  talk  of  Gall 
and  Spurzheim,  and  all  those  ;  but  what  have  they  done  ? 
nothing  but  divided  the  brain  into  sections,  classed  the 
organs,  and  discovered  where  they  reside  ;  but  what  good 
result  has  been  gained  from  that  ?  the  murderer  by  nature 
remained  a  murderer — the  benevolent  man  a  benevolent 
man — he  could  not  alter  his  organisation.  I  have  found 
out  how  to  change  all  that." 

"  Surely,  sir,  you  would  not  interfere  with  the  organ  of 
benevolence." 


^^6  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  But  indeed  I  must,  Jack.  I,  myself,  am  suffering 
from  my  organ  of  benevolence  being  too  large  :  I  must 
reduce  it,  and  then  I  shall  be  capable  of  greater  things, 
shall  not  be  so  terrified  by  difficulties,  shall  overlook 
trifles,  and  only  carry  on  great  schemes  for  universal 
equality  and  the  supreme  rights  of  man.  I  have  put 
myself  into  that  machine  every  morning  for  two  hours, 
for  these  last  three  months,  and  I  feel  now  that  I  am 
daily  losing  a  great  portion." 

"Will  you  do  me  the  favour  to  explain  an  invention 
so  extraordinary,  sir  ?  "  said  our  hero. 

"  Most  willingly,  my  boy.  You  observe  that  in  the 
centre  there  is  a  frame  to  confine  the  human  head, 
somewhat  larger  than  the  head  itself,  and  that  the  head 
rests  upon  the  iron  collar  beneath.  When  the  head  is 
thus  firmly  fixed,  suppose  I  want  to  reduce  the  size  of  any 
particular  organ,  I  take  the  boss  corresponding  to  where 
that  organ  is  situated  in  the  cranium,  and  fix  it  on  it. 
For  you  will  observe  that  all  the  bosses  inside  of  the  top 
of  the  frame  correspond  to  the  organs  as  described  in  this 
plaster  cast  on  the  table.  I  then  screw  down  pretty  tight, 
and  increase  the  pressure  daily,  until  the  organ  disappears 
altogether,  or  is  reduced  to  the  size  required." 

"  I  comprehend  that  part  perfectly,  sir,"  replied 
Jack  ;  "  but  now  explain  to  me  by  what  method  you 
contrive  to  raise  an  organ  which  does  not  previously 
exist." 

"  That,"  replied  Mr  Easy,  "  is  the  greatest  perfection 
of  the  whole  invention,  for  without  I  could  do  that,  I  could 
have  done  little.  I  feel  convinced  that  this  invention  of 
mine  will  immortalise  me.  Observe  all  these  little  bell- 
glasses  which  communiucate  with  the  air-pump  ;  I  shave 
my  patient's  head,  grease  it  a  little,  and  fix  on  the  bell- 
glass,  which  is  exactly  shaped  to  fit  the  organ  in  length 
and  breadth.  I  work  the  air-pump,  and  raise  the  organ  by 
an  exhausted  receiver.  It  cannot  fail.  There  is  my  butler, 
now  ;  a  man  who  escaped  hanging  last  spring  assizes  on 
an  undoubted  charge  of  murder.     I  selected  him  on  pur- 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  357 

pose  ;  I  have  flattened  down  murder  to  nothing,  and  I  have 
raised  benevolence  till  it's  like  a  wen." 

"  I  am  afraid  my  poor  father's  head  is  an  exhausted 
receiver,"  thought  Jack,  who  then  replied,  "  Well,  sir,  if 
it  succeeds  it  will  be  a  good  invention." 

"  If  it  succeeds  ! — why,  it  has  succeeded — it  cannot 
fail.  It  has  cost  me  near  two  thousand  pounds.  By-rhe- 
bye,  Jack,  you  have  drawn  very  liberally  lately,  and  I  had 
some  trouble,  with  my  own  expenses,  to  meet  your  bills  ; 
not  that  I  complain — but  what  with  societies,  and  my 
machine,  and  tenants  refusing  to  pay  their  rents,  on  the 
principle  that  the  farms  are  no  more  mine  than  theirs, 
which  I  admit  to  be  true,  I  have  had  some  difficulty  in 
meeting  all  demands." 

"  The  governor  was  right,"  thought  Jack,  who  now 
inquired  after  Dr  ^Middleton. 

"  Ah,  poor  silly  man  !  he's  alive  yet — I  believe  doing 
well.  He  is  one  who  will  interfere  with  the  business  of 
others,  complains  of  my  servants — very  silly  man  indeed — 
but  I  let  him  have  his  own  way.  So  I  did  your  poor 
mother.     Silly  woman,  jNIrs  Easy — but  never  mind  that." 

"If  you  please,  sir,  I  have  also  a  complaint  to  make  of 
the  servants  for  their  insolence  to  me  :  but  we  will  adjourn, 
if  you  please,  as  I  wish  to  have  some  refreshment." 

"  Certainly,  Jack,  if  you  are  hungry  ;  I  will  go  with 
you.  Complain  of  my  servants,  say  you  ? — there  must  be 
some  mistake — they  are  all  shaved,  and  wear  wigs,  and 
I  put  them  in  the  machine  every  other  morning  ;  but  I 
mean  to  make  an  alteration  in  one  respect.  You  observe. 
Jack,  it  requires  more  dignity :  we  must  raise  the  whole 
machinery  some  feet,  ascend  it  with  state  as  a  throne,  for 
it  is  the  throne  of  reason,  the  victory  of  mind  over  nature." 

"  As  you  please,  sir  ;  but  I  am  really  hungry  just  now." 

Jack  and  his  father  went  into  the  drawing-room  and 
rang  the  bell  j  not  being  answered.  Jack  rose  and  rang 
again. 

**  My  dear  sir,"  observed  Mr  Easy,  "  you  must  not  be 
in  a  hurry ;  every  man   naturally  provides    for   his  own 


358  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

wants  first,  and  afterwards  for  those  of  others.  Now  my 
servants " 

"  Are  a  set  of  insolent  scoundrels,  sir,  and  insolence  I 
never  permit.  I  knocked  one  down  as  I  entered  your 
house,  and,  with  your  permission,  I  will  discharge  two,  at 
least,  to-morrow." 

*'  My  dear  son,"  exclaimed  Mr  Easy,  "  you  knocked  my 
servant  down ! — are  you  not  aware,  by  the  laws  of 
equality " 

"  I  am  aware  of  this,  my  dear  father,"  replied  Jack, 
"  that  by  all  the  laws  of  society  we  have  a  right  to  expect 
civility  and  obedience  from  those  we  pay  and  feed." 

"  Psy  and  feed  !  Why,  my  dear  son, — my  dear  Jack, — 
you  must  recollect " 

"  I  recollect,  sir,  very  well ;  but  if  your  servants  do 
not  come  to  their  recollection  in  a  very  short  time,  either  I 
or  they  must  quit  the  house." 

"  But,  my  dear  boy,  have  you  forgotten  the  principles  I 
instilled  into  you  ?  Did  you  not  go  to  sea  to  obtain  that 
equality  foiled  by  tyranny  and  despotism  here  on  shore  ? 
Do  you  not  acknowledge  and  support  my  philosophy  ?  " 

"  We'll  argue  that  point  to-morrow,  sir — at  present  I 
want  to  obtain  my  supper  •, "  and  Jack  rang  the  bell  furiously. 

The  butler  made  his  appearance  at  this  last  summons, 
and  he  was  followed  by  Mesty,  who  looked  like  a  demon 
with  anger. 

"  Mercy  on  me,  whom  have  we  here  ? " 

"  My  servant,  father,"  exclaimed  Jack,  starting  up ; 
"  one  that  I  can  trust  to,  and  who  will  obey  me.  Mesty, 
I  wish  some  supper  and  wine  to  be  brought  immediately — 
see  that  scoundrel  gets  it  ready  in  a  moment.  If  he  does 
not,  throw  him  out  of  the  door,  and  lock  him  out.  You 
understand  me." 

"  Yes,  Massa,"  grinned  Mesty  ;  "  now  you  hab  supper 
very  quick,  or  Mesty  know  the  reason  why.  Follow  me, 
sar,"  cried  Mesty,  in  an  imperative  tone  to  the  butler : 
**  quick,  sar,  or  by  de  holy  poker,  I  show  you  what  Mesty 
can  do  j  "  and  Mesty  grinned  in  his  wrath. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  359 

"  Bring  supper  and  wine  immediately,"  said  Mr  Easy, 
giving  an  order  such  as  the  butler  had  never  heard  since 
he  had  been  in  the  house. 

The  butler  quitted  the  room,  followed  by  the  Ashantee. 

"  My  dear  boy — my  Jack — I  can  make  every  allowance 
for  hunger,  it  is  often  the  cause  of  theft  and  crime  in  the 
present  unnatural  state  of  society — but  really  you  are  too 
violent.     The  principles " 

*'  Your  principles  are  all  confounded  nonsense,  father," 
cried  Jack,  in  a  rage. 

"  What,  Jack  ! — my  son — what  do  I  hear  ?  This  from 
you — nonsense  !  Why,  Jack,  what  has  Captain  Wilson 
being  doing  with  you  ?  " 

"  Bringing  me  to  my  senses,  sir." 

**  Oh  dear !  oh  dear  !  my  dear  Jack,  you  will  certainly 
make  me  lose  mine." 

"  Gone  already,"  thought  Jack. 

"  That  you,  my  child,  so  carefully  brought  up  in  the 
great  and  glorious  school  of  philosophy,  should  behave 
this  way — should  be  so  violent — forget  your  sublime 
philosophy,  and  all — just  like  Esau,  selling  your  birthright 
for  a  mess  of  pottage.  Oh,  Jack,  you'll  kill  me  !  and  yet 
I  love  you.  Jack — whom  else  have  I  to  love  in  this  world  ? 
Never  mind,  we'll  argue  the  point,  my  boy — I'll  convince 
you — in  a  week  all  will  be  right  again." 

*'  It  shall,  sir,  if  I  can  manage  it,"  replied  Jack. 

*'  That's  right,  I  love  to  hear  you  say  so — that's  con- 
soling, very  consoling — but  I  think  now,  I  was  wrong  to 
let  you  go  to  sea.  Jack." 

*'  Indeed  you  were  not,  father." 

"  Well,  I'm  glad  to  hear  you  say  so  :  I  thought  they  had 
ruined  you,  destroyed  all  your  philosophy — but  it  will  be 
all  right  again — you  shall  come  to  our  societies.  Jack 
— I  am  president — you  shall  hear  me  speak.  Jack — you 
shall  hear  me  thunder  like  Demosthenes — but  here  comes 
the  tray." 

The  butler,  followed  by  Mesty,  who  attended  him  as  if 
he  was  his  prisoner,  now  made  his   appearance  with  the 


360  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

tray,  laid  it  down  in  a  sulky  manner,  and  retired.  Jack 
desired  Mesty  to  remain. 

"  Well,  Mesty,  how  are  they  getting  on  in  the  servants' 
hall  ? " 

"  Regular  mutiny,  sar — ab  swear  dat  they  no  stand  our 
nonsense,  and  dat  we  both  leave  the  house  to-morrow." 

"  Do  you  hear,  sir  ?  your  servants  declare  that  I  shall 
leave  your  house  to-morrow." 

"  You  leave  my  house.  Jack,  after  four  years'  absence  ! 
— no,  no.  I'll  reason  with  them — I'll  make  them  a  speech. 
You  don't  know  how  I  can  speak.  Jack." 

*'  Look  you,  father,  I  cannot  stand  this  j  either  give  me 
a  carte-blanche  to  arrange  this  household  as  I  please,  or  I 
shall  quit  it  myself  to-morrow  morning." 

"  Quit  my  house,  Jack  !  no,  no — shake  hands  and  make 
friends  with  them  ;  be  civil,  and  they  will  serve  you — but 
you  know,  upon  the  principles " 

"  Principles  of  the  devil !  "  cried  Jack,  in  a  rage. 

"  Of  the  devil,  Jack ;  dear  me  !  I  wish  you  had  never 
gone  to  sea." 

"  In  one  word,  sir,  do  you  consent,  or  am  I  to  leave  the 
house  ? " 

"  Leave  the  house  !  O  no;  not  leave  the  house.  Jack. 
I  have  no  son  but  you.  Then  do  as  you  please — but  you 
must  not  send  away  my  murderer,  for  I  must  have  him 
cured,  and  shown  as  a  proof  of  my  wonderful  invention." 

**  Mesty,  get  my  pistols  ready  for  to-morrow  morning, 
and  your  own  too — do  ye  hear  ?  " 

*'  All  ready,  massa,"  replied  Mesty ;  "  I  tink  dat  right." 

"  Right ! — pistols,  Jack  !     What  do  you  mean  ? " 

"It  is  possible,  father,  that  you  may  not  have  yet  quite 
cured  your  murderer,  and  therefore  it  is  as  well  to  be 
prepared.  I  will  now  wish  you  good-night ;  but,  before 
I  go,  you  will  be  pleased  to  summon  one  of  the  servants, 
that  he  may  inform  the  others  that  the  household  is  under 
my  control  for  the  future." 

The  bell  was  again  rung,  and  was  this  time  answered 
with  more  expedition.     Jack  told  the  servant,  in  presence 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  361 

of  his  father,  that,  with  the  consent  of  the  latter,  he  should 
hereafter  take  the  whole  control  of  the  establishment,  and 
that  Mesty  would  be  the  major-domo  from  whom  they 
would  receive  their  orders.  The  man  stared,  and  cast  an 
appealing  look  to  Mr  Easy,  who  hesitated,  and  at  last 
said — 

"  Yes,  William ;  you'll  apologise  to  all,  and  say  that  I 
have  made  the  arrangement." 

"  You  apologise  to  none,  sir,"  cried  Jack  ;  "  but  tell 
them  that  I  will  arrange  the  whole  business  to-morrow 
morning.  Tell  the  woman  to  come  here  and  show  me  my 
bed-room.  Mesty,  get  your  supper  and  then  come  up  to 
me ;  if  they  dare  to  refuse  you,  recollect  who  does,  and 
point  them  out  to-morrow  morning.  That  will  do,  sir  ; 
away  with  you,  and  bring  flat  candlesticks." 


Chapter    XXXVI 

In  which  Jack  takes  up  the  other  side  of  the  argument,  and  proves  that  he 
can  argue  as  well  on  one  side  as  the  other. 

This  scene  may  give  some  idea  of  the  state  of  Mr  Easy's 
household  upon  our  hero's  arrival.  The  poor  lunatic,  for 
such  we  must  call  him,  was  at  the  mercy  of  his  servants, 
who  robbed,  laughed  at,  and  neglected  him.  The  waste 
and  expense  were  enormous.  Our  hero,  who  found  how 
matters  stood,  went  to  bed,  and  lay  the  best  part  of  the 
night  resolving  what  to  do.  He  determined  to  send  for 
Dr  Middleton,  and  consult  him. 

The  next  morning,  Jack  rose  early ;  Mesty  was  in  the 
room,  with  warm  water,  as  soon  as  he  rang. 

"By  de  power,  Massa  Easy,  your  fader  very  silly  old 
man." 

"  I'm  afraid  so,"  replied  Jack. 

'*  He  not  right  here,"  observed  Mesty,  putting  his 
fingers  to  his  head. 

Jack  sighed,  and  desired  Mesty  to  send  one  of  the  grooms 


362  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

up  to  the  door.  When  the  man  knocked  he  desired  him 
to  mount  a  horse  and  ride  over  to  Dr  Middleton,  and  request 
his  immediate  attendance. 

The  man,  who  was  really  a  good  servant,  replied, 
"  Yes,  sir,"  very  respectfully,  and  hastened  away. 

Jack  went  down  to  breakfast,  and  found  it  all  ready,  but 
his  father  was  not  in  the  room  :  he  went  to  his  study,  and 
found  him  occupied,  with  the  carpenter,  who  was  making 
a  sort  of  a  frame  as  the  model  of  the  platform  or  dais,  to 
be  raised  under  the  wonderful  invention.  Mr  Easy  was  so 
busy  that  he  could  not  come  to  breakfast,  so  Jack  took  his 
alone.  An  hour  after  this,  Dr  Middleton's  carriage  drove 
up  to  the  door.     The  Doctor  heartily  greeted  our  hero. 

**  My  dear  sir — for  so  I  suppose  I  must  now  call  you — 
I  am  heartily  glad  that  you  have  returned.  I  can  assure 
you  that  it  is  not  a  moment  too  soon." 

"I  have  found  out  that  already.  Doctor,"  replied  Jack  j 
"  sit  down.     Have  you  breakfasted  ? " 

"No,  I  have  not ;  for  I  was  so  anxious  to  see  you,  that 
I  ordered  my  carriage  at  once." 

"Then  sit  down,  Doctor,  and  we  will  talk  over  matters 
quietly." 

"  You  of  course  perceive  the  state  of  your  father.  He 
has  been  some  time  quite  unfit  to  manage  his  own  affairs." 

"  So  I  am  afraid." 

"What  do  you  intend  to  do,  then — put  them  in  the 
hands  of  trustees  ? " 

"  I  will  be  trustee  for  myself,  Dr  Middleton.  I 
could  not  do  the  other  without  submitting  my  poor  father 
to  a  process,  and  confinement,  which  I  cannot  think  of." 

"  I  can  assure  you,  that  there  are  not  many  in  Bedlam 
worse  than  he  is  ;  but  I  perfectly  agree  with  you  ;  that 
is,  if  he  will  consent  to  your  taking  charge  of  the 
property." 

"  A  power  of  attorney  will  be  all  that  is  requisite," 
replied  Jack  ;  "  that  is,  as  soon  as  I  have  rid  the  house 
of  the  set  of  miscreants  who  are  in  it ;  and  who  are  now 
in  open  mutiny." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  363 

**  I  think,  replied  the  Doctor,  **  that  you  will  have  some 
trouble.     You  know  the  character  of  the  butler." 

*'  Yes,  I  have  it  from  my  father's  own  mouth.  I  really 
should  take  it  as  a  great  favour,  Dr  Middleton,  if  you 
could  stay  here  a  day  or  two.  I  know  that  you  have 
retired  from  practice." 

"I  would  have  made  the  same  offer,  my  young  friend. 
I  will  come  here  with  two  of  my  servants ;  for  you  must 
discharge  these." 

"  I  have  one  of  my  own  who  is  worth  his  weight  in 
gold — that  will  be  sufficient.  I  will  dismiss  every  man 
you  think  I  ought ;  and  as  for  the  women,  we  can  give 
them  warning,  and  replace  them  at  leisure." 

"  That  is  exactly  what  I  should  propose,"  replied  the 
Doctor.  **'  I  will  now  go,  if  you  please ;  procure  the 
assistance  of  a  couple  of  constables,  and  also  of  your 
father's  former  legal  adviser,  who  shall  prepare  a  power 
of  attorney." 

"  Yes,"  replied  Jack,  "  and  we  must  then  find  out  the 
tenants  who  refuse  to  pay  upon  the  principles  of  equality, 
and  he  shall  serve  them  with  notice  immediately." 

"  I  am  rejoiced,  my  dear  young  friend,  to  perceive  that 
your  father's  absurd  notions  have  not  taken  root." 

"  They  lasted  some  time,  nevertheless,  Doctor,"  replied 
Jack,  laughing. 

''Well,  then,  I  will  only  quit  you  for  an  hour  or  two, 
and  then,  as  you  wish  it,  will  take  up  my  quarters  here 
as  long  as  you  find  me  useful." 

In  the  forenoon,  Dr  Middleton  again  made  his  appear- 
ance, accompanied  by  Mr  Hanson,  the  solicitor,  bringing 
with  him  his  portmanteau  and  his  servants.  Mr  Easy 
had  come  into  the  parlour,  and  was  at  breakfast  when 
they  entered.  He  received  them  very  coolly ;  but  a 
little  judicious  praise  of  the  wonderful  invention  had  its 
due  effect  5  and  after  Jack  had  reminded  him  of  his 
promise  that,  in  future,  he  was  to  control  the  household, 
he  was  easily  persuaded  to  sign  the  order  for  his  so 
doing — that  is,  the  power  of  attorney. 


364  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

Mr  Easy  also  gave  up  to  Jack  the  key  of  his  escritoire, 
and  Mr  Hanson  possessed  himself  of  the  books,  papers, 
and  receipts  necessary  to  ascertain  the  state  of  his  affairs, 
and  the  rents  which  had  not  yet  been  paid  up.  In  the 
meantime  the  constables  arrived.  The  servants  were 
all  summoned  j  Mr  Hanson  showed  them  the  power  of 
attorney,  empowering  Jack  to  act  for  his  father,  and,  in 
less  than  half-an-hour  afterwards,  all  the  men-servants, 
but  two  groojns,  were  dismissed;  the  presence  of  the 
constables  and  Mesty  prevented  any  resistance,  but  not 
without  various  threats  on  the  part  of  the  butler,  whose 
name  was  O'Rourke.  Thus,  in  twenty-four  hours.  Jack 
had  made  a  reformation  in  the  household. 

Mr  Easy  took  no  notice  of  anything ;  he  returned  to 
his  study  and  his  wonderful  invention.  Mesty  had  re- 
ceived the  keys  of  the  cellar,  and  had  now  complete 
control  over  those  who  remained.  Dr  Middleton,  Mr 
Hanson,  Mr  Easy,  and  Jack,  sat  down  to  dinner,  and 
everything  wore  the  appearance  of  order  and  comfort. 
Mr  Easy  ate  very  heartily,  but  said  nothing  till  after 
dinner,  when  as  was  his  usual  custom,  he  commenced 
arguing  upon  the  truth  and  soundness  of  his  philosophy. 

"  By-the-bye,  my  dear  son,  if  I  recollect  right,  you  told 
me  last  night  that  you  were  no  longer  of  my  opinion. 
Now,  if  you  please,  we  will  argue  this  point." 

"  I'll  argue  the  point  with  all  my  heart,  sir,"  replied 
Jack,  "  will  you  begin  ?  " 

"  Let's  fill  our  glasses,"  cried  Mr  Easy,  triumphantly ; 
**  let's  fill  our  glasses,  and  then  I  will  bring  Jack  back  to 
the  proper  way  of  thinking.  Now  then,  my  son,  I  trust 
you  will  not  deny  that  we  are  all  born  equal." 

"I  do  deny  it,  sir,"  replied  Jack;  "  I  deny  it  in  toto — 
deny  it  from  the  evidence  of  our  own  senses,  and  from  the 
authority  of  Scripture.  To  suppose  all  men  were  born 
equal,  is  to  suppose  that  they  are  equally  endowed  with 
the  same  strength,  and  with  the  same  capacity  of  mind, 
which  we  know  is  not  the  case.  I  deny  it  from  Scripture, 
from  which  I   could    quote   many  passages ;    but    I   will 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  365 

restrict  myself  to  one — the  parable  of  the  Talents  :  '  To 
one  he  gave  five  talents,  to  another  but  one,'  holding  them 
responsible  for  the  trust  reposed  in  them.  We  are  all 
intended  to  fill  various  situations  in  society,  and  are 
provided  by  Heaven  accordingly." 

**  That  may  be,"  replied  Mr  Easy  ;  *'  but  that  does  not 
prove  that  the  earth  was  not  intended  to  be  equally 
distributed  among  all  alike." 

**  I  beg  your  pardon  j  the  proof  that  that  was  not  the 
intention  of  Providence,  is  that  that  equality,  allowing  it  to 
be  put  in  practice,  could  never  be  maintained." 

"Not  maintained! — no,  because  the  strong  oppress 
the  weak,  tyrants  rise  up  and  conquer — men  combine 
to  do  wrong." 

"  Not  so,  my  dear  father ;  I  say  It  could  not  be 
maintained  without  the  organisation  of  each  individual  had 
been  equalised,  and  several  other  points  established.  For 
instance,  allowing  that  every  man  had,  ab  origine,  a  certain 
portion  of  ground.  He  who  was  the  strongest  or  the 
cleverest  would  soon  cause  his  to  yield  more  than  others 
would,  and  thus  the  equality  be  destroyed.  Again,  if  one 
couple  had  ten  children,  and  another  had  none,  then  again 
would  equality  be  broken  in  upon,  as  the  land  that 
supports  two  in  the  one  instance,  would  have  to  feed 
twelve  in  the  other.  You  perceive,  therefore,  that  with- 
out rapine  or  injustice,  your  equality  could  not  be 
preserved." 

"  But,  Jack,  allowing  that  there  might  be  some  diversity 
from  such  causes,  that  would  be  a  very  different  thing 
from  the  present  monstrous  state  of  society,  in  which  we 
have  kings  and  lords,  and  people,  rolling  in  wealth,  while 
others  are  in  a  state  of  pauperism,  and  obliged  to  steal  for 
their  daily  bread." 

"  My  dear  father,  I  consider  that  it  is  to  this  Inequality 
that  society  owes  its  firmest  cementation — that  we  are 
enabled  to  live  in  peace  and  happiness,  protected  by  just 
laws,  each  doing  his  duty  In  that  state  of  life  to  which  he 
is  called,  rising  above  or  sinking  in  the  scale  of  society 


366  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

according  as  he  has  been  entrusted  with  the  five  talents 
or  the  one.  EquaHty  can  and  does  exist  nowhere.  We 
are  told  that  it  does  not  exist  in  heaven  itself — how  can  it 
exist  upon  earth  ?  " 

"But  that  is  only  asserted,  Jack,  and  it  is  not  proof 
that  it  ought  not  to  exist." 

*'  Let  us  argue  the  point,  father,  coolly.  Let  us  examine 
a  little  what  would  be  the  effect  if  all  was  equality.  Were 
all  equal  in  beauty  there  would  be  no  beauty,  for  beauty 
is  only  by  comparison — were  all  equal  in  strength,  conflicts 
would  be  interminable — were  all  equal  in  rank,  and  power, 
and  possessions,  the  greatest  charms  of  existence  would  be 
destroyed — generosity,  gratitude,  and  half  the  finer  virtues 
would  be  unknown.  The  first  principle  of  our  religion, 
charity,  could  not  be  practised — pity  would  never  be  called 
forth — benevolence,  your  great  organ,  would  be  useless, 
and  self-denial  a  blank  letter.  Were  all  equal  in  ability, 
there  would  be  no  instruction,  no  talent,  no  genius — 
nothing  to  admire,  nothing  to  copy,  to  respect — nothing  to 
rouse  emulation,  or  stimulate  to  praiseworthy  ambition. 
Why,  my  dear  father,  what  an  idle,  unprofitable,  weary 
world  would  this  be,  if  it  were  based  on  equality  ! " 

"  But,  allowing  all  that.  Jack,"  replied  Mr  Easy,  **  and 
I  will  say  you  argue  well  in  a  bad  cause,  why  should  the 
inequality  be  carried  so  far  —  king  and  lords,  for 
instance  ? " 

*'  The  most  lasting  and  imperishable  form  of  building 
is  that  of  the  pyramid,  which  defies  ages,  and  to  that  may 
the  most  perfect  form  of  society  be  compared.  It  is  based 
upon  the  many,  and  rising  by  degrees,  it  becomes  less  as 
wealth,  talent,  and  rank  increase  in  the  individual,  until  it 
ends  at  the  apex  or  monarch,  above  all.  Yet  each  several 
stone  from  the  apex  to  the  base  is  necessary  for  the 
preservation  of  the  structure,  and  fulfils  its  duty  in  its 
allotted  place.  Could  you  prove  that  those  at  the  summit 
possess  the  greatest  share  of  happiness  in  this  world,  then, 
indeed,  you  have  a  position  to  argue  on  ;  but  it  is  well 
known  that  such  is  not  the  case ;  and  provided  he  is  of  a 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  'tJ^'j 

contented  mind,  the  peasant  is  more  happy  than  the 
king,  surrounded  as  the  latter  is  by  cares  and  anxiety." 

"  Very  well  argued,  indeed,  my  dear  sir,"  observed  Dr 
Middleton. 

"But,  my  dear  boy,  there  are  other  states  of  society 
than  monarchy  •,  we  have  republics  and  despotisms." 

"  We  have,  but  how  long  do  they  last  compared  to  the 
first  ?  There  is  a  cycle  in  the  changes  which  never  varies. 
A  monarchy  may  be  overthrown  by  a  revolution,  and 
republicanism  succeed,  but  that  is  shortly  followed  by 
despotism,  till,  after  a  time,  monarchy  succeeds  again  by 
unanimous  consent,  as  the  most  legitimate  and  equitable 
form  of  government ;  but  in  none  of  these  do  you  find  a 
single  advance  to  equality.  In  a  republic,  those  who 
govern  are  more  powerful  than  the  rulers  in  a  restricted 
monarchy — a  president  is  greater  than  a  king,  and  next  to 
a  despot,  whose  will  is  law.  Even  in  small  societies  you 
find,  that  some  will  naturally  take  the  lead  and  assume 
domination.  We  commence  the  system  at  school,  when 
we  are  first  thrown  into  society,  and  there  we  are  taught 
systems  of  petty  tyranny.  There  are  some  few  points  in 
which  we  obtain  equality  in  this  world,  and  that  equality 
can  only  be  obtained  under  a  well-regulated  form  of 
society,  and  consists  in  an  equal  administration  of  justice 
and  of  laws,  to  which  we  have  agreed  to  submit  for  the 
benefit  of  the  whole — the  equal  right  to  live  and  not 
be  permitted  to  starve,  which  has  been  obtained  in  this 
country.  And  when  we  are  called  to  account,  we  shall 
have  equal  justice.  Now  my  dear  father,  you  have  my 
opinion." 

*'  Yes,  my  dear,  this  is  all  very  well  in  the  abstract ; 
but  how  does  it  work  ? " 

"  It  works  well.  The  luxury,  the  pampered  state,  the 
idleness — if  you  please,  the  wickedness — of  the  rich,  all 
contribute  to  the  support,  the  comfort,  and  employment 
of  the  poor.  You  may  behold  extravagance — it  is  a  vice  ; 
but  that  very  extravagance  circulates  money,  and  the  vice 
of  one  contributes  to  the  happiness  of  many.     The  only 


368  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

vice  which  is  not  redeemed  by  producing  commensurate 
good,  is  avarice.  If  all  were  equal,  there  would  be  no 
arts,  no  manufactures,  no  industry,  no  employment.  As 
it  is,  the  inequality  of  the  distribution  of  wealth  may  be 
compared  to  the  heart,  pouring  forth  the  blood  like  a 
steam-engine  through  the  human  frame,  the  same  blood 
returning  from  the  extremities  by  the  veins,  to  be  again 
propelled,  and  keep  up  a  healthy  and  vigorous  circula- 
tion." 

"  Bravo,  Jack  !  "  said  Dr  Middleton.  **  Have  you  any- 
thing to  reply,  sir  ? "  continued  he,  addressing  Mr  Easy. 

"  To  reply,  sir  ? "  replied  Mr  Easy,  with  scorn  ;  "  why, 
he  has  not  given  me  half  an  argument  yet :  why  that  black 
servant  even  laughs  at  him — look  at  him  there  showing 
his  teeth.  Can  he  forget  the  horrors  of  slavery  ?  can  he 
forget  the  base  unfeeling  lash  ?  No,  sir,  he  has  suffered, 
and  he  can  estimate  the  divine  right  of  equality.  Ask  him 
now,  ask  him,  if  you  dare.  Jack,  whether  he  will  admit 
the  truth  of  your  argument." 

J  "  Well,  I'll  ask  him,"  replied  Jack,  **  and  I  tell  you 
C%ftididly  that  he  was  once  one  of  your  disciples.  Mesty, 
what's  your  opinion  of  equality  ? " 

-  *"  Equality,  Massa  Easy  ?  "  replied  Mesty,  pulling  up  his 
cravat  •,  "  I  say  d — n  equality,  now  I  major-domo." 

"The  rascal  deserves  to  be  a  slave  all  his  life." 

"  True,  I  ab  been  slave — but  I  a  prince  in  my  own 
country.     Massa  Easy  tell  how  many  skulls  I  have." 

"  Skulls — skulls — -do  you  know  anything  of  the  sublime 
science  ?     Are  you  a  phrenologist  ?  " 

*'  I  know  man's  skull  very  well  in  Ashantee  country, 
anyhow." 

"  Then  if  you  know  that,  you  must  be  one.  I  had  no 
idea  that  the  science  had  extended  so  far — maybe  it  was 
brought  from  thence.  I  will  have  some  talk  with  you 
to-morrow.  This  is  very  curious.  Dr  Middleton,  is  it 
not.?" 

"  Very,  indeed,  Mr  Easy." 

"  I  shall  feel  his  head  to-morrow  after  breakfast,  and 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  369 

if  there  is  anything  wrong,  I  shall  correct  it  with  my 
machine.  By-the-bye,  I  have  quite  forgot,  gentlemen ; 
you  will  excuse  me,  but  I  wish  to  see  what  the  carpenter 
has  done  for  me,  and  after  that  I  shall  attend  the  meeting 
of  the  society.  Jack,  my  boy,  won't  you  come  and  hear 
my  speech  ? " 

"  Thank  you,  sir,  but  I  cannot  well  leave  your  friends." 

Mr  Easy  quitted  the  room. 

*'  Are  you  aware,  my  dear  sir,  that  your  father  has 
opened  his  preserves  to  all  the  poachers  .'* "  said  Mr 
Hanson. 

"The  devil  he  has  !" 

"  Yes,  he  has  allowed  several  gangs  of  gipsies  to  locate 
themselves  in  his  woods  much  to  the  annoyance  of  the 
neighbourhood,  who  suffer  from  their  depredations," 
continued  Dr  Middleton. 

"  I  find,  by  the  receipts  and  books,  that  there  is  nearly 
two  years'  rental  of  the  estate  due  ;  some  tenants  have 
paid  up  in  full,  others  not  for  four  years.  I  reckon 
fourteen  thousand  pounds  still  in  arrear." 

"  You  will  oblige  me  by  taking  immediate  steps,  Mr 
Hanson,  for  the  recovery  of  the  sums  due." 

"  Most  certainly,  Mr  John.  I  trust  your  father  will 
not  commit  himself  to-night  as  he  has  done  lately." 

When  they  rose  to  retire,  Dr  Middleton  took  our  hero 
by  the  hand.  "  You  do  not  know,  my  dear  fellow,  what 
pleasure  it  gives  me  to  find  that,  in  spite  of  the  doting  of 
your  mother  and  the  madness  of  your  father,  you  have 
turned  out  so  well.  It  is  very  fortunate  that  you  have 
come  home ;  I  trust  you  will  now  give  up  the  profession." 

"  I  have  given  it  up,  sir ;  which,  by-the-bye,  reminds 
me  that  I  have  not  applied  for  either  my  discharge  or 
that  of  my  servant ;  but  I  cannot  spare  time  yet,  so  I  shall 
not  report  myself." 


2  A 


2,yo  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 


Chapter  XXXVII 

in  which  our  hero  finds  himself  an  orphan,  and  resolves  to  go  to  sea  again, 
without  the  smallest  idea  of  equality. 

The  next  morning,  when  they  met  at  breakfast,  Mr 
Easy  did  not  make  his  appearance,  and  Jack  inquired  of 
Mesty  where  he  was. 

"They  say  down  below  that  the  old  gentleman  not 
come  home  last  night." 

♦*Did  not  come  home!"  said  Dr  Middleton ;  "this 
must  be  looked  to." 

"He  great  rascal,  dat  butler  man,"  said  Mesty  to  Jack; 
"  but  de  old  gentleman  not  sleep  in  his  bed,  dat  for 
sure." 

"  Make  enquiries  when  he  went  out,"  said  Jack. 

"  I  hope  no  accident  has  happened,"  observed  Mr 
Hanson ;  "  but  his  company  has  lately  been  very  strange." 

"  Nobody  see  him  go  out,  sar,  last  night,"  reported 
Mesty. 

"  Very  likely  he  is  in  his  study,"  observed  Dr  Middleton  ; 
"  he  may  have  remained  all  night,  fast  asleep,  by  his 
wonderful  invention." 

"I'll  go  and  see,"  replied  Jack. 

Dr  Middleton  accompanied  him,  and  Mesty  followed. 
They  opened  the  door,  and  beheld  a  spectacle  which  made 
them  recoil  with  horror.  There  was  Mr  Easy,  with  his 
head  in  the  machine,  the  platform  below  fallen  from 
under  him,  hanging,  with  his  toes  just  touching  the 
ground.  Dr  Middleton  hastened  to  him,  and,  assisted 
by  Mesty  and  our  hero,  took  him  out  of  the  steel  collar 
which  was  round  his  neck :  but  life  had  been  extinct  for 
many  hours,  and,  on  examination,  it  was  found  that  the 
poor  old  gentleman's  neck  was  dislocated. 

It  was  surmised  that  the  accident  must  have  taken  place 
the  evening  before,  and  it  was  easy  to  account  for  it.  Mr 
Easy,  who  had  had  the  machine  raised  four  feet  higher, 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  371 

for  the  platform  and  steps  to  be  placed  underneath,  must 
have  mounted  on  the  frame  modelled  by  the  carpenter  for 
his  work,  and  have  fixed  his  head  in,  for  the  knob  was 
pressed  on  his  bump  of  benevolence.  The  framework, 
hastily  put  together  with  a  few  short  nails,  had  given 
way  with  his  weight,  and  the  sudden  fall  had  dislocated 
his  neck. 

Mr  Hanson  led  away  our  hero,  who  was  much  shocked 
at  this  unfortunate  and  tragical  end  of  his  poor  father, 
while  Dr  Middleton  ordered  the  body  to  be  taken  up 
into  a  bedroom,  and  immediately  despatched  a  messenger 
to  the  coroner  of  the  county.  Poor  Mr  Easy  had  told 
his  son  but  the  day  before,  that  he  felt  convinced  that 
this  wonderful  invention  would  immortalise  him,  and  so 
it  had,  although  not  exactly  in  the  sense  that  he  anticipated. 

We  must  pass  over  the  few  days  of  sorrow,  and  closed 
shutters,  which  alv/ays  are  given  to  these  scenes.  The 
coroner's  inquest  and  the  funeral  over,  daylight  was 
again  admitted,  our  hero's  spirits  revived,  and  he  found 
himself  in  possession  of  a  splendid  property,  and  his  own 
master. 

He  was  not  of  age,  it  is  true,  for  he  wanted  nine  months; 
but  on  opening  the  will  of  his  father,  he  found  that  Dr 
Middleton  was  his  sole  guardian.  Mr  Hanson,  on  examin- 
ing and  collecting  the  papers,  which  were  in  the  greatest 
confusion,  discovered  bank-notes  in  different  corners,  and 
huddled  up  with  bills  and  receipts,  to  the  amount  of  two 
thousand  pounds,  and  further,  a  cheque  signed  by  Captain 
Wilson  on  his  banker,  for  the  thousand  pounds  advanced 
by  Mr  Easy,  dated  more  than  fifteen  months  back. 

Dr  Middleton  wrote  to  the  Admiralty,  informing  them 
that  family  affairs  necessitated  Mr  John  Easy,  who  had 
been  left  at  sick  quarters,  to  leave  his  Majesty's  service, 
requesting  his  discharge  from  it  forthwith.  The  Admiralty 
were  graciously  pleased  to  grant  the  request,  and  lose  the 
services  of  a  midshipman.  The  Admiralty  were  also 
pleased  to  grant  the  discharge  of  Mesty,  on  the  sum 
required  for  a  substitute  being  paid  in. 


372  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

The  gipsies  were  routed  out  of  their  abodes,  and  sent 
once  more  to  wander.  The  gamekeepers  were  restored, 
the  preserves  cleared  of  all  poachers,  and  the  gentry  of 
the  country  were  not  a  little  pleased  at  Jack's  succession, 
for  they  had  wished  that  Mr  Easy's  neck  had  been  broken 
long  ago.  The  societies  were  dissolved,  since,  now  that 
Mr  Easy  no  longer  paid  for  the  beer,  there  was  nothing  to 
meet  for.  Cards  and  compliments  were  sent  from  all  parts 
of  the  county,  and  every  one  was  anxious  that  our  hero 
should  come  of  age,  as  then  he  would  be  able  to  marry, 
to  give  dinners,  subscribe  to  the  foxhounds,  and  live  as  a 
gentleman  ought  to  do. 

But  during  all  these  speculations.  Jack  had  made  Dr 
Middleton  acquainted  with  the  history  of  his  amour  with 
Agnes  de  Rebiera,  and  all  particulars  connected  therewith, 
also  with  his  determination  to  go  out  to  bring  her  home  as 
his  wife.  Dr  Middleton  saw  no  objection  to  the  match, 
and  he  perceived  that  our  hero  was  sincere.  And  Jack 
had  made  inquiries  when  the  packet  would  sail  for  Malta, 
when  Mesty,  who  stood  behind  his  chair,  observed, — 

"  Packet  bad  vessel,  Massa  Easy.  Why  not  go  out  in 
man-of-war  ? " 

"Very  true,"  replied  Jack;  "but  you  know,  Mesty, 
that  is  not  so  easy." 

**  And  den  how  come  home,  sar  ?  Suppose  you  and 
Missy  Agnes  taken  prisoner — put  in  prison  ? " 

"Very  true,"  replied  Jack;  "and  as  for  a  passage  home 
in  a  man-of-war,  that  will  be  more  difficult  still." 

"Den  I  tink,  sar,  suppose  you  buy  one  fine  vessel- 
plenty  of  guns — take  out  letter  of  marque — plenty  of  men, 
and  bring  Missy  Agnes  home  like  a  lady.  You  captain  of 
your  own  ship." 

"  That  deserves  consideration,  Mesty,"  replied  Jack, 
who  thought  of  it  during  that  night :  and  the  next  day 
resolved  to  follow  Mesty's  advice.  The  Portsmouth 
paper  lay  on  the  breakfast-table.  Jack  took  it  up,  and  his 
eye  was  caught  by  an  advertisement  for  the  sale  of  the 
Joan  {TArc,  prize  to  H.M.  ship  Thetis,  brigantine  of  278 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  ^y^ 

tons,  copper-bottomed,  armed,  'enjlute,*  with  all  her  stores, 
spars,  sails,  running  and  standing  rigging,  then  lying  in 
the  harbour  of  Portsmouth,  to  take  place  on  the  following 
Wednesday. 

Jack  rang  the  bell,  and  ordered  post-horses. 

"Where  are  you  going,  my  dear  boy?"  inquired  Dr 
Middleton. 

**  To  Portsmouth,  Doctor." 

"  And  pray  what  for,  if  not  an  impertinent  question  ? " 

Jack  then  gave  Dr  Middleton  an  insight  into  his  plan, 
and  requested  that  he  would  allow  him  to  do  so,  as  there 
was  plenty  of  ready  money. 

"  But  the  expense  will  be  enormous." 

**  It  will  be  heavy,  sir,  I  grant ;  but  I  have  calculated  it 
pretty  nearly,  and  I  shall  not  spend  at  the  rate  of  more 
than  my  income.  Besides,  as  letter  of  marque,  I  shall 
have  the  right  of  capture ;  in  fact,  I  mean  to  take  out  a 
privateer's  regular  licence." 

"  But  not  to  remain  there  and  cruise  ?" 

"  No,  upon  my  honour ;  I  am  too  anxious  to  get  home 
again.     You  must  not  refuse  me,  my  dear  guardian." 

*'  As  a  lady  is  in  the  case,  I  will  not,  my  dear  boy  j  but 
be  careful  what  you  are  about." 

"  Never  fear,  sir,  I  will  be  back  in  four  months,  at  the 
farthest ;  but  I  must  now  set  off  and  ascertain  if  the  vessel 
answers  the  description  given  in  the  advertisement." 

Jack  threw  himself  into  the  chariot.  Mesty  mounted 
into  the  rumble,  and  in  two  hours  they  were  at  Ports- 
mouth ;  went  to  the  agent,  viewed  the  vessel,  which 
proved  to  be  a  very  fine  fast-sailing  craft,  well  found, 
with  six  brass  carronades  on  each  side.  The  cabins  were 
handsome,  fitted  up  with  bird's-eye  maple,  and  gilt 
mouldings. 

This  will  do,  thought  Jack :  a  couple  of  long  brass 
nines,  forty  men  and  six  boys,  and  she  will  be  just  the 
thing  we  require.  So  Mesty  and  Jack  went  on  shore 
again,  and  returned  to  Forest  Hill  to  dinner,  when  he 
desired  Mr  Hanson  to  set  off  for  Portsmouth,  and  bid 


374  ^^  Midshipman  Easy 

at  the  sale  for  the  vessel,  as  he  wished  to  purchase 
her.  This  was  Monday,  and  on  Wednesday  Mr  Hanson 
purchased  her,  as  she  stood,  for  ^^1750,  which  was  con- 
sidered about  half  her  value. 

Dr  Middleton  had,  in  the  meantime,  been  thinking  very 
seriously  of  Jack's  project.  He  could  see  no  objection 
to  it,  provided  that  he  was  steady  and  prudent,  but  in 
both  these  qualities  Jack  had  not  exactly  been  tried.  He 
therefore  determined  to  look  out  for  some  steady  naval 
lieutenant,  and  make  it  a  sine  qua  non  that  our  hero 
should  be  accompanied  by  him,  and  that  he  should  go 
out  as  sailing-master.  Now  that  the  vessel  was  purchased, 
he  informed  Jack  of  his  wish  ;  indeed,  as  Dr  Middleton 
observed,  his  duty  as  guardian  demanded  this  precaution, 
and  our  hero,  who  felt  very  grateful  to  Dr  Middleton, 
immediately  acquiesced. 

"  And,  by-the-bye.  Doctor,  see  that  he  is  a  good 
navigator ;  for  although  I  can  fudge  a  day's  work  pretty 
well,  latterly  I  have  been  out  of  practice." 

Everyone  was  now  busy :  Jack  and  Mesty  at  Ports- 
mouth, fitting  out  the  vessel,  and  offering  three  guineas 
ahead  to  the  crimps  for  every  good  able  seaman — Mr 
Hanson  obtaining  the  English  register,  and  the  letters  of 
licence,  and  Dr  Middleton  in  search  of  a  good  naval 
dry-nurse.  Jack  found  time  to  write  to  Don  Philip  and 
Agnes,  apprising  them  of  the  death  of  his  father,  and 
his  intentions. 

In  about  six  weeks  all  was  ready,  and  the  brigantine,, 
which  had  taken  out  her  British  register  and  licence 
under  the  name  of  the  Rebiera,  went  out  of  harbour,  and 
anchored  at  Spithead.  Dr  Middleton  had  procured,  as 
he  thought,  a  very  fit  person  to  sail  with  Jack,  and 
our  hero  and  Mesty  embarked,  wishing  the  Doctor  and 
Solicitor  good-bye,  and  leaving  them  nothing  to  do  but 
to  pay  the  bills. 

The  person  selected  by  Dr  Middleton,  by  the  advice 
of  an  old  friend  of  his,  a  purser  in  the  navy,  who  lived  at 
Southsea,  was  a  Lieutenant  Oxbelly,  who,  with  the  ship's 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  375 

company,  which  had  been  collected,  received  our  hero 
as  their  captain  and  owner  upon  his  arrival  on  board. 
There  certainly  was  no  small  contrast  between  our  hero's 
active  slight  figure  and  handsome  person,  set  off  with  a 
blue  coat,  something  like  the  present  yacht-club  uniform, 
and  that  of  his  second  in  command,  who  waddled  to  the 
side  to  receive  him.  He  was  a  very  short  man,  with  an 
uncommon  protuberance  of  stomach,  with  shoulders  and 
arms  too  short  for  his  body,  and  hands  much  too  large, 
more  like  the  paws  of  a  Polar  bear  than  anything  else. 
He  wore  trousers,  shoes,  and  buckles.  On  his  head  was 
a  foraging  cap,  which,  when  he  took  it  off,  showed  that 
he  was  quite  bald.  His  age  might  be  about  fifty-five 
or  sixty  j  his  complexion  florid,  no  whiskers,  and  little 
beard,  nose  straight,  lips  thin,  teeth  black  with  chewing, 
and  always  a  little  brown  dribble  from  the  left  corner 
of  his  mouth  (there  was  a  leak  there,  he  said).  Altogether 
his  countenance  was  prepossessing,  for  it  was  honest  and 
manly,  but  his  waist  was  preposterous. 

"  Steady  enough,"  thought  Jack,  as  he  returned  Mr 
Oxbelly's  salute. 

"How  do  you  do,  sir?"  said  Jack;  "I  trust  we  shall 
be  good  shipmates,"  for  Jack  had  not  seen  him  before. 

"Mr  Easy,"  replied  the  lieutenant,  "I  never  quarrel 
with  anyone,  except  (I  won't  tell  a  story)  with  my  wife." 

"  I  am  sorry  that  you  have  ever  domestic  dissensions, 
Mr  Oxbelly." 

"  And  I  only  quarrel  with  her  at  night,  sir.  She  will 
take  up  more  than  her  share  of  the  bed,  and  won't  allow 
me  to  sleep  single ;  but  never  mind  that,  sir  ;  now  will 
you  please  to  muster  the  men  ?  " 

*♦  If  you  please,  Mr  Oxbelly." 

The  men  were  mustered,  and  Jack  made  them  a  long 
speech  upon  subordination,  discipline,  activity,  duty,  and 
so  forth. 

**  A  very  good  speech,  Mr  Easy,"  said  Mr  Oxbelly,  as 
the  men  went  forward ;  "  I  wish  my  wife  had  heard  it. 
But,  sir,  if  you  please,  we'll  now  get  under  way  as  fast 


376  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

as  we  can,  for  there  is  a  Channel  cruiser  working  up  at 
St  Helen's,  and  we  may  give  him  the  go-by  by  running 
through  the  Needles." 

"  But  what  need  we  care  for  the  Channel  cruiser  ? " 

"  You  forget,  sir,  that  as  soon  as  she  drops  her  anchor 
she  will  come  on  board  and  take  a  fancy  to  at  least  ten 
of  our  men." 

•*  But  they  are  protected." 

•'  Yes,  sir,  but  that's  no  protection,  now-a-days.  I 
have  sailed  in  a  privateer  at  least  three  years,  and  I 
know  that  they  have  no  respect  for  letters  of  marque 
or  for  privateers." 

"  I  believe  you  are  right,  Mr  Oxbelly ;  so,  if  you 
please,  we  will  up  with  the  anchor  at  once." 

The  crew  of  the  Rebiera  had  been  well  chosen ;  they 
were  prime  men-of-war's  men,  most  of  whom  had  de- 
serted from  the  various  ships  on  the  station,  and,  of 
course,  were  most  anxious  to  be  off.  In  a  few  minutes 
the  Rebiera  was  under  way  with  all  sail  set  below  and 
aloft.  She  was  in  excellent  trim  and  flew  through  the 
water ;  the  wind  was  fair,  and  by  night  they  had  passed 
Portland  Lights,  and  the  next  morning  were  steering  a 
course  for  the  Bay  of  Biscay  without  having  encountered 
what  they  feared  more  than  an  enemy, — a  British  cruiser 
to  overhaul  them. 

"  I  think  we  shall  do  now,  sir,"  observed  Mr  Oxbelly 
to  our  hero  ;  "  we  have  made  a  famous  run.  It's  twelve 
o'clock,  and  if  you  please  I'll  work  the  latitude,  and  let 
you  know  what  it  is.  We  must  shape  our  course  so  as 
not  to  run  in  with  the  Brest  squadron.  A  little  more 
westing,  sir.  I'll  be  up  in  one  minute.  My  wife — but 
I'll  tell  you  about  that  when  I  come  up." 

"Latitude  41°  12',  sir.  I  was  about  to  say  that  my 
wife,  when  she  was  on  board  of  the  privateer  that  I 
commanded " 

**  Board  of  the  privateer,  Mr  Oxbelly  ? " 

**  Yes,  sir,  would  go  ;  told  her  it  was  impossible,  but 
she  wouldn't    listen   to  reason — came  on    board,   flopped 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  -T}!! 

herself  into  the  standing  bed-place,  and  said  that  there  she 
was  for  the  cruise, — little  Billy  with  her " 

'*  What !  your  child,  too  ?  " 

"  Yes,  two  years  old — fine  boy — always  laughed  when 
the  guns  were  fired,  while  his  mother  stood  on  the  ladder 
and  held  him  on  the  top  of  the  booby-hatch." 

'•  I  wonder  that  Mrs  Oxbelly  let  you  come  here 
now  ?  " 

"  So  you  would,  sir,  but  I'll  explain  that — she  thinks 
I'm  in  London  about  my  half-pay.  She  knows  all  by 
this  time,  and  frets,  I  don't  doubt ;  but  that  will  make  her 
thin,  and  then  there  will  be  more  room  in  the  bed.  Mrs 
Oxbelly  is  a  very  stout  woman." 

"  Why,  you  are  not  a  little  man  !  " 

**  No,  not  little — tending  to  be  lusty,  as  the  saying  is — 
that  is,  in  good  condition.  It's  very  strange  that  Mrs 
Oxbelly  has  an  idea  that  she  is  not  large.  I  cannot 
persuade  her  to  it.  That's  the  reason  we  always  spar  in 
bed.  She  says  it  is  I,  and  I  know  that  it  is  she  who  takes 
the  largest  share  of  it." 

"  Perhaps  you  may  both  be  right." 

**  No,  no  ;  it  is  she  who  creates  all  the  disturbance.  If 
I  get  nearer  to  the  wall  she  jams  me  up  till  I  am  as  thin 
as  a  thread-paper.  If  I  put  her  inside  and  stay  outside, 
she  cuts  me  out  as  you  do  a  cask,  by  the  chime,  till  I 
tumble  out  of  bed." 

"  Why  don't  you  make  your  bed  larger,  Mr  Oxbelly  ? " 

'*  Sir,  I  have  proposed  it,  but  my  wife  will  have  it  that 
the  bed  is  large  enough  if  I  would  not  toss  in  my  sleep. 
I  can't  convince  her.  However,  she'll  have  it  ail  to  her- 
self now.  I  slept  well  last  night,  for  the  first  time  since  I 
left  the  Boadicea^'' 

"The  Boadicea?" 

"  Yes,  sir,  I  was  second  lieutenant  of  the  Boadicea  for 
three  years." 

"  She's  a  fine  frigate,  I'm  told." 

•*  On  the  contrary,  such  a  pinched-up  little  craft  below 
I  never  saw.     Why,  Mr  Easy,  I  could  hardly  get  into  the 


378  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

door  of  my  cabin — and  yet,  as  you  must  see,  I'm  not  a 
large  man." 

"  Good  heavens !  is  it  possible,"  thought  Jack,  "  that 
this  man  does  not  really  know  that  he  is  monstrous  ?  " 

Yet  such  was  the  case.  Mr  Oxbelly  had  no  idea  that 
he  was  otherwise  than  in  good  condition,  although  he  had 
probably  not  seen  his  knees  for  years.  It  was  his  obesity 
that  was  the  great  objection  to  him,  for  in  every  other 
point  there  was  nothing  against  him.  He  had,  upon  one 
pretence  and  another,  been  shifted,  by  the  manoeuvres  of 
the  captains,  out  of  different  ships,  until  he  went  up  to 
the  Admiralty  to  know  if  there  was  any  charge  against 
him.  The  first  lord  at  once  perceived  the  charge  to  be 
preferred,  and  made  a  mark  against  his  name  as  not  fit  for 
anything  but  harbour  duty.  Out  of  employment,  he  had 
taken  the  command  of  a  privateer  cutter,  when  his  wife, 
who  was  excessively  fond,  would,  as  he  said,  follow  him 
with  little  Billy.  He  was  sober,  steady,  knew  his  duty 
well ;  but  he  weighed  twenty-six  stone,  and  his  weight 
had  swamped  him  in  the  service. 

His  wish,  long  indulged,  had  become,  as  Shakespeare 
says,  the  father  of  his  thought,  and  he  had  really  at  last 
brought  himself  to  think  that  he  was  not  by  any  means 
what  could  be  considered  a  fat  man.  His  wife,  as  he  said, 
was  also  a  very  stout  woman,  and  this  exuberance  of  flesh 
on  both  sides,  was  the  only,  but  continual,  ground  of 
dispute. 

Chapter  XXXVIII 

In  which  our  hero,  as  usual,  gets  into  the  very  middle  of  it. 

On  the  eleventh  day  the  Rebiera  entered  the  straits,  and 
the  rock  of  Gibraltar  was  in  sight  as  the  sun  went  down ; 
after  which  the  wind  fell  light,  and  about  midnight  it 
became  calm,  and  they  drifted  up.  At  sunrise  they  were 
roused  by  the  report  of  heavy  guns,  and  perceived  an 
English  frigate  about  eight  miles  further  up  the  straits. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  379 

and  more  in  the  mid-channel,  engaging  nine  or  ten  Spanish 
gun-boats,  which  had  come  out  from  Algesiras  to  attack 
her.  It  still  continued  a  dead  calm,  and  the  boats  of  the 
frigate  were  all  ahead  towing  her,  so  as  to  bring  her 
broadside  to  bear  upon  the  Spanish  flotilla.  The  rever- 
berating of  the  heavy  cannon  on  both  sides  over  the  placid 
surface  of  the  water — the  white  smoke  ascending  as  the 
sun  rose  in  brilliancy  in  a  clear  blue  sky — the  distant 
echoes  repeated  from  the  high  hills — had  a  very  beautiful 
effect  for  those  who  are  partial  to  the  picturesque.  But 
Jack  thought  it  advisable  to  prepare  for  action  instead  of 
watching  for  tints — and,  in  a  short  time,  all  was  ready. 

"  They'll  not  come  to  us,  Mr  Easy,  as  long  as  they  have 
the  frigate  to  hammer  at ;  but  still  we  had  better  be 
prepared,  for  we  cannot  well  pass  them  without  having  a 
few  shot.  When  I  came  up  the  straits  in  the  privateer  we 
were  attacked  by  two  and  fought  them  for  three  hours  ; 
their  shot  dashed  the  water  over  our  decks  till  they  were 
wet  fore  and  aft,  but  somehow  or  another  they  never  hit 
us — we  were  as  low  as  they  were.  I'll  be  bound  but 
they'll  hull  the  frigate  though.  Mrs  Oxbelly  and  Billy 
were  on  deck  the  whole  time  —  and  Billy  was  quite 
delighted,  and  cried  when  they  took  him  down  to  break- 
fast." 

"Why,  Mrs  Oxbelly  must  be  very  courageous." 

"  Cares  neither  for  shot  nor  shell,  sir — laughs  when 
they  whiz  over  her  head,  and  tells  Billy  to  hark.  But, 
sir,  it's  not  surprising ;  her  father  is  a  major,  and  her  two 
brothers  are  lieutenants  in  the  bombardiers." 

"That,  indeed,"  replied  Jack — "but,  see,  there  is  a 
breeze  springing  up  from  the  westward." 

"Very  true,  Mr  Easy,  and  a  steady  one  it  will  be,  for  it 
comes  up  dark  and  slow ;  so  much  the  better  for  the 
■frigate,  for  she'll  get  little  honour  and  plenty  of  mauling 
at  this  work." 

"  I  hope  we  shall  take  it  up  with  us,"  observed  Jack  j 
"  how  far  do  you  reckon  the  gun-boats  from  the  shore  ? " 

"  I  should  think  about  five  miles,  or  rather  less." 


380  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  Trim  sails,  Mr  Oxbelly — perhaps  we  may  cut  one  or 
two  of  these  off — steer  in-shore  of  them." 

"  Exactly.  Up  there,  my  lads,  set  top-gallant  studding 
sails,  top-mast  studdings  to  hand — rig  out  the  booms — 
keep  as  you  go  now,  my  lad — we  shall  be  well  in-shore  of 
them,  and  out  of  the  range  of  the  batteries." 

The  breeze  came  down  fresh,  and  all  sail  was  set  upon 
the  Rebiera.  She  took  the  wind  down  with  her,  and  it 
passed  her  but  little — half  a  mile  ahead  of  them  all  was 
still  and  smooth  as  a  glass  mirror,  and  they  neared  and 
gained  in-shore  at  the  same  time.  The  gun-boats  were 
still  engaging  the  frigate,  and  did  not  appear  to  pay  any 
attention  to  the  Rebiera  coming  down.  At  last  the  breeze 
reached  them  and  the  frigate,  light  at  first  and  then 
gradually  increasing,  while  the  Rebiera  foamed  through 
the  water,  and  had  now  every  chance  of  cutting  off  some 
of  the  gun-boats.  The  frigate  trimmed  her  sails  and 
steered  towards  the  flotilla,  which  now  thought  proper  to 
haul  off  and  put  their  heads  in-shore,  followed  by  the 
frigate  firing  her  bow-chasers.  But  the  Rebiera  was  now 
within  half  gun-shot  in-shore,  and  steering  so  as  to  inter- 
cept them.  As  she  rapidly  closed,  the  flotilla  scarcely 
knew  how  to  act ;  to  attack  her  would  be  to  lose  time, 
and  allow  the  frigate  to  come  up  and  occasion  their  own 
capture ;  so  they  satisfied  themselves  with  firing  at  her  as 
she  continued  to  run  down  between  them  and  the  land. 
As  they  neared.  Jack  opened  his  fire  with  his  eighteen- 
pound  carronades  and  long  nines.  The  gun-boats  returned 
his  fire,  and  they  were  within  a  quarter  of  a  mile,  when 
Jack  shortened  sail  to  his  top-sails,  and  a  warm  engage- 
ment took  place,  which  ended  in  one  of  the  gun-boats 
being,  in  a  few  minutes,  dismasted.  The  frigate,  under 
all  canvas,  came  rapidly  up,  and  her  shot  now  fell  thick. 
The  flotilla  then  ceased  firing,  passing  about  two  cables' 
length  ahead  of  the  Rebiera,  and  making  all  possible  sail 
for  the  land.  Jack  now  fired  at  the  flotilla  as  they  passed, 
with  his  larboard  broadside,  while  with  his  starboard  he 
poured  in  grape  and  canister  upon  the  unfortunate  gun- 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  381 

boat  which  was  dismasted,  and  which  soon  hauled  down 
her  colours.  In  a  few  minutes  more  the  remainder  were 
too  far  distant  for  the  carronades,  and,  as  they  did  not  fire. 
Jack  turned  his  attention  to  take  possession  of  his  prize, 
sending  a  boat  with  ten  men  on  board,  and  heaving-to  close 
to  her  to  take  her  in  tow.  Ten  minutes  more  and  the 
frigate  was  also  hove-to  a  cable's  length  from  the  Rebiera, 
and  our  hero  lowered  down  his  other  quarter-boat  to  go 
on  board. 

"  Have  we  any  men  hurt,  Mr  Oxbelly  ? "  inquired  Jack. 

**  Only  two ;  Spearling  has  lost  his  thumb  with  a  piece 
of  langrage,  and  James  has  a  bad  wound  in  the  thigh." 

*'  Very  well ;  I  will  ask  for  the  surgeon  to  come  on 
board." 

Jack  pulled  to  the  frigate,  and  went  up  the  side,  touched 
his  hat  in  due  form,  and  was  introduced  by  the  midshipmen 
to  the  other  side,  where  the  captain  stood. 

"  Mr  Easy  !  "  exclaimed  the  captain. 

"  Captain  Sawbridge ! "  replied  our  hero,  with  sur- 
prise. 

*'  Good  heavens  !  what  brought  you  here  ? "  said  the 
captain ;  **  and  what  vessel  is  that  ?  " 

**  The  Rebiera,  letter  of  marque,  commanded  and  owned 
by  Mr  Easy,"  replied  Jack,  laughing. 

Captain  Sawbridge  gave  him  his  hand.  **  Come  down 
with  me  into  the  cabin,  Mr  Easy ;  I  am  very  glad  to  see 
you.  Give  you  great  credit  for  your  conduct,  and  am  still 
more  anxious  to  know  what  has  induced  you  to  come  out 
again.     I  knew  that  you  had  left  the  service." 

Jack,  in  a  very  few  words,  told  his  object  in  fitting  out 
the  Rebiera;  "but,"  continued  Jack,  "allow  me  to  con- 
gratulate you  upon  your  promotion,  which  I  was  not  aware 
of.  May  I  ask  where  you  left  the  Harpy ^  and  what  is  the 
name  ©f  your  frigate  ? " 

*'  The  Latona.  I  have  only  been  appointed  to  her  one 
month,  after  an  action  in  which  the  Harpy  took  a  large 
corvette,  and  am  ordered  home  with  despatches  to  England. 
We  sailed  yesterday  evening  from  Gibraltar,  were  becalmed 


382  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

the  whole  night,  and  attacked  this  morning  by  the  gun- 
boats." 

**  How  is  Captain  Wilson,  sir  ?" 

"  I  believe  he  is  very  well,  but  I  have  not  seen  him." 

"  How  did  you  know,  then,  that  I  had  left  the  service. 
Captain  Sawbridge  ? " 

"  From  Mr  Gascoigne,  who  is  now  on  board." 

"  Gascoigne  ! "  exclaimed  our  hero. 

"  Yes,  he  was  sent  up  to  join  the  Aurora  by  the 
governor,  but  she  had  left  the  fleet,  and  having  served  his 
time,  and  a  passing  day  being  ordered,  he  passed,  and 
thought  he  might  as  well  go  home  with  me  and  see  if  he 
could  make  any  interest  for  his  promotion." 

"  Pray,  Captain  Sawbridge,  is  the  gun-boat  our  prize  or 
yours  ? " 

"  It  ought  to  be  wholly  yours  j  but  the  fact  is,  by  the 
regulations,  we  share." 

"With  all  my  heart,  sir.  Will  you  send  an  assistant- 
surgeon  on  board  to  look  after  two  of  my  men  who  are 
hurt  ? " 

"  Yes,  directly ;  now  send  your  boat  away.  Easy,  with 
directions  to  your  oflicer  in  command.  We  must  go  back 
to  Gibraltar,  for  we  have  received  some  injury,  and,  I  am 
sorry  to  say,  lost  some  men.  You  are  going  then,  I  pre- 
sume, to  stay  on  board  and  dine  with  me :  we  shall  be  at 
anchor  before  night." 

"  I  will  with  pleasure,  sir.  But  now  I  will  send  my  boat 
away  and  shake  hands  with  Gascoigne." 

Gascoigne  was  under  the  half-deck  waiting  to  receive 
his  friend,  for  he  had  seen  him  come  up  the  side  from  his 
station  on  the  forcastle.  A  hurried  conversation  took 
place,  after  our  hero  had  dismissed  his  boat  with  the 
assistant-surgeon  in  it  to  dress  the  two  wounded  men. 
Jack  then  went  on  deck,  talked  with  the  officers,  looked 
with  pleasure  at  the  Rebiera  with  the  gun-boat  in  tow, 
keeping  company  with  the  frigate,  although  only  under 
the  same  canvas — promised  Gascoigne  to  spend  the  next 
day  with  him  either  on  shore  or  on  board  the  Rebiera,  and 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  383 

then  returned  to  the  cabin,  where  he  had  a  long  conference 
•with  Captain  Sawbridge. 

"  "When  you  first  entered  the  service,  Easy,"  said  Cap- 
tain Sawbridge,  "  I  thought  that  the  sooner  the  service  was 
rid  of  you  the  better :  now  that  you  have  left  it,  I  feel  that 
it  has  lost  one  who,  in  all  probability,  would  have  proved 
a  credit  to  it." 

"  Many  thanks,  sir,"  replied  Jack  ;  "  but  how  can  I  be 
a  midshipman  with  eight  thousand  pounds  a-year  ?  " 

"  I  agree  with  you  that  it  is  impossible  : — but  dinner  is 
serving  :  go  into  the  after-cabin  and  the  steward  will  give 
you  all  you  require." 

Our  hero,  whose  face  and  hands  were  not  a  little  grimed 
with  the  gunpowder,  washed  himself,  combed  out  his 
curly  black  hair,  and  found  all  the  party  in  the  fore-cabin. 
Gascoigne,  who  had  not  been  asked  in  the  forenoon,  was, 
by  the  consideration  of  Captain  Sawbridge,  added  to  the 
number.  Before  dinner  was  long  ofF  the  table,  the  first 
lieutenant  reported  that  it  was  necessary  to  turn  the  hands 
up,  as  they  were  close  to  the  anchorage.  The  party, 
therefore,  broke  up  sooner  than  otherwise  would  have 
been  the  case ;  and  as  soon  as  the  Latonas  sails  were 
furled.  Captain  Sawbridge  went  on  shore  to  acquaint  the 
governor  with  the  results  of  the  action.  He  asked  Jack 
to  accompany  him,  but  our  hero,  wishing  to  be  with 
Gascoigne,  excused  himself  until  the  next  day. 

"  And  now.  Easy,"  said  Gascoigne,  as  soon  as  the 
captain  had  gone  over  the  side,  "  I  will  ask  permission 
to  go  on  board  with  you — or  will  you  ask  ? " 

"  I  will  ask,"  replied  Jack ;  "  a  gentleman  of  fortune 
has  more  weight  with  a  first  lieutenant  than  a  midship- 
man." 

So  Jack  went  up  to  the  first  lieutenant,  and  with  one 
of  his  polite  bows,  hoped,  "  if  duty  would  permit,  he 
would  honour  him  by  coming  on  board  that  evening  with 
some  of  his  officers,  to  see  the  Rebiera  and  to  drink  a 
bottle  or  two  of  champagne." 

The   first  lieutenant,  as   the  Rebiera  was  anchored  not 


384  Mr  Midshipman  Easy- 

two  cables'  lengths  from  him,  replied,  "  that  as  soon  as 
he  had  shifted  the  prisoners  and  secured  the  gun-boat,  he 
would  be  very  glad  :"  so  did  three  or  four  more  of  the 
officers,  and  then  Jack  begged  as  a  favour,  that  his  old 
friend,  Mr  Gascoigne,  might  be  permitted  to  go  with 
him  now,  as  he  had  important  packages  to  entrust  to  his 
care  to  England.  The  first  lieutenant  was  very  willing, 
and  Gascoigne  and  our  hero  jumped  into  the  boat,  and 
were  once  more  in  all  the  confidence  of  tried  and  deserved 
friendship. 

*'  Jack,  I've  been  thinking  of  it,  and  I've  made  up  my 
mind,"  said  Gascoigne.  "  I  shall  gain  little  or  nothing 
by  going  home  for  my  promotion :  I  may  as  well  stay 
here,  and  as  I  have  served  my  time  and  passed,  my  pay 
is  now  of  little  consequence.  Will  you  take  me  with 
you?" 

"  It  was  exactly  what  I  was  thinking  of,  Ned.  Do  you 
think  that  Captain  Sawbridge  will  consent  ?  " 

"I  do :  he  knows  how  I  am  circumstanced,  and  that 
my  going  home  was  merely  because  I  was  tired  of  looking 
after  the  AuroraP 

"  We'll  go  together  and  ask  him  to-morrow,"  replied 
Jack. 

*'  At  all  events,  you'll  have  a  more  gentlemanly  com- 
panion than  Mr  Oxbelly." 

**  But  not  so  steady,  Ned." 

The  first  lieutenant  and  officers  came  on  board,  and 
passed  a  merry  evening.  There's  nothing  passes  time 
more  agreeably  away  than  champagne,  and  if  you  do  not 
affront  this  regal  wine  by  mixing  him  with  any  other,  he 
never  punishes  you  the  next  morning. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  385 

Chapter  XXXIX  ' 

A  council  of  war,  in  which  Jack  decides  that  he  will  have  one  more  cruise. 

As  Captain  Sawbridge  did  not  return  on  board  that 
evening,  Easy  went  on  shore  and  called  upon  him  at  the 
governor's,  to  whom  he  was  introduced,  and  received  an 
invitation  to  dine  with  him.  As  Gascoigne  could  not 
come  on  shore,  our  hero  took  this  opportunity  of  making 
his  request  to  Captain  Sawbridge,  stating  that  the  person 
he  had  with  him  was  not  such  as  he  wished  and  could 
confide  everything  to  j  that  is,  not  one  to  whom  he  could 
talk  about  Agnes.  Jack,  as  he  found  that  Captain 
Sawbridge  did  not  immediately  assent,  pressed  the  matter 
hard :  at  last  Captain  Sawbridge,  who  reflected  that 
Gascoigne's  interest  hereafter  would  be  much  greater 
through  his  friend  Easy,  than  any  other  quarter,  and 
that  the  more  the  friendship  was  cemented  the  more 
advantageous  it  might  prove  to  Gascoigne,  gave  his 
consent  to  our  hero's  wish,  who  called  on  board  of  the 
Latona  to  acquaint  Gascoigne  and  the  first  lieutenant  of 
Captain  Sawbridge's  intentions,  and  then  went  on  board 
of  the  Rebiera  and  ordered  Mesty  to  come  with  his  port- 
manteau on  shore  to  the  inn,  that  he  might  dress  for 
dinner.  Gascoigne,  now  considered  as  not  belonging  to 
the  Latona,  was  permitted  to  accompany  him:  and  Jack 
found  himself  looking  out  of  the  window  at  which  he  had 
hung  out  his  trousers  upon  the  memorable  occasion  when 
the  boatswain  had  to  follow  his  own  precept,  of  duty 
before  decency. 

"What  scenes  of  adventures  I  have  passed  through 
since  that,"  thought  Jack ;  *'  not  much  more  than  four 
years  ago,  then  not  three  weeks  in  the  service."  Where- 
upon Jack  fell  into  a  deep  reverie,  and  thought  of  the 
baboon  and  of  Agnes. 

The  repairs  of  the  Latona  were  all  made  good  by  the 
next  day,  and  Gascoigne,  having  received  his  discharge 

E  2  B 


386  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

ticket,  went  on  board  of  the  Rebiera.  The  gun-boat  was 
put  into  the  hands  of  the  agent,  and  shortly  afterwards 
purchased  by  government-  The  Rehierds  crew  did  not, 
however,  obtain  their  prize-money  and  share  of  the  head- 
money,  for  she  had  seventy  men  on  board,  until  their 
return,  but,  as  they  said,  they  had  broken  the  ice  and  that 
was  everything.  Moreover,  it  gave  them  confidence  in 
themselves,  in  their  vessel,  and  in  their  commander.  Our 
hero  weighed  a  short  time  after  the  Latona,  having  first 
taken  leave  of  Captain  Sawbridge,  and  committed  to  his 
care  a  letter  to  Dr  Middleton. 

Once  more  behold  the  trio  together, — the  two  midship- 
men hanging  over  the  tafFrail,  and  Mesty  standing  by 
them.  They  had  rounded  Europa  Point,  and,  with  a  fine 
breeze  off  the  land,  were  lying  close-hauled  along  the 
Spanish  shore.     Mr  Oxbelly  was  also  walking  near  them. 

"  When  I  was  cruising  here  it  was  very  different," 
observed  Jack :  **  I  had  a  vessel  which  I  did  not  know  how 
to  manage,  a  crew  which  I  could  not  command,  and  had  it 
not  been  for  Mesty,  what  would  have  become  of  me  !  " 

"  Massa  Easy,  you  know  very  well  how  to  get  out  of 
scrapes,  anyhow." 

"  Yes,  and  how  to  get  into  them,"  continued  Gascoigne. 

"  And  how  to  get  others  out  of  them,  too,  Ned." 

"  *  No  more  of  that,  Hal,  an  thou  lovest  me,' "  quoted 
Gascoigne.  "  I  have  often  wondered  what  has  been  the 
lot  of  poor  Azar." 

"The  lot  of  most  women,  Ned,  in  every  country — 
prized  at  first,  neglected  afterwards — the  lot  she  might 
have  had  with  you." 

"  Perhaps  so,"  replied  Ned,  with  a  sigh. 

"  Massa  Easy,  you  get  eberybody  out  of  scrape ;  you  get 
me  out  of  scrape." 

**  I  do  not  recollect  how,  Mesty." 

"  You  get  me  out  from  boil  kettle  for  young  gentlemen 
— dat  devil  of  a  scrape." 

"  And  I'm  sure  I've  got  you  out  of  a  scrape,  Mr 
Oxbelly." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  387 

"  How  so,  Mr  Easy  ?  " 

"  How  so  ! — have  I  not  prevented  your  quarrelling  with 
your  wife  every  night  ?  " 

"  Certainly,  sir,  you  have  been  the  means.  But  do  you 
know  when  we  were  engaging  the  other  day,  I  could  not 
help  saying  to  myself,  '  I  wish  my  wife  was  here  now, 
holding  little  Billy  at  the  hatchway.' " 

"  But  at  night,  Mr  Oxbelly." 

"  At  night ! — why,  then  I'm  afraid  I  should  have  wished 
her  home  again — it's  astonishing  how  comfortable  I  sleep 
now  every  night.  Besides,  in  this  climate  it  would  be 
intolerable.  Mrs  Oxbelly  is  a  very  large  woman — very 
large  indeed." 

"  Well,  but  now  we  must  hold  a  council  of  war.  Are 
we  to  run  up  the  coast,  or  to  shape  a  course  direct  for 
Palermo  ? " 

*'  Course  direct,  and  we  shall  take  nothing,  that  is 
certain,"  said  Gascoigne. 

*'  If  we  take  nothing  we  shall  make  no  prize-money," 
continued  Oxbelly. 

"  If  we  make  no  prize-money  the  men  will  be  discon- 
tented," said  Easy. 

"If  no  ab  noting  to  do — it  will  be  d — d  'tupid,"  con- 
tinued Mesty. 

"  Now  then  the  other  side  of  the  question.  If  we  steer 
for  Palermo,  we  shall  be  sooner  there  and  sooner  home." 

"To  which  I  reply,"  said  Gascoigne,  "that  the  shorter 
the  cruise  is,  the  less  I  shall  have  of  your  company." 

"  And  I  shall  have  to  sleep  with  Mrs  Oxbelly,"  con- 
tinued Oxbelly. 

"  Hab  fine  ship,  fine  gun,  fine  men,  and  do  noting," 
cried  Mesty.     "  By  de  power,  I  no  like  dat,  Massa  Easy." 

"  You  want  eight  months  of  coming  of  age,  Jack," 
observed  Gascoigne. 

"  It  won't  make  a  difference  of  more  than  three  or  four 
weeks,"  said  Mr  Oxbelly ;  "  and  the  expenses  have  been 
very  great." 

«  But " 


388  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  But  what,  Jack  ? " 

"  Agnes." 

"  Agnes  will  be  better  defended  going  home  by  men 
who  have  been  accustomed  to  be  in  action.  And,  as  for 
her  waiting  a  little  longer,  it  will  only  make  her  love  you 
a  little  more." 

"Sleep  single  a  little  longer,  Mr  Easy,  it's  very 
pleasant,"  said  Mr  Oxbelly. 

'*  That's  not  very  bad  advice  of  yours,"  observed 
Gascoigne. 

"  Stop  a  little,  Massa  Easy,"  said  Mesty,  ''  you  know 
dat  very  good  advice." 

"  Well,  then,"  replied  Jack,  "  I  will,  as  I  am  quite  in 
the  minority.  We  will  work  up  the  whole  coast — up  to 
Toulon.  After  all,  there's  something  very  pleasant  in 
commanding  your  own  ship,  and  I'm  not  in  a  hurry  to 
resign  it — so  that  point's  decided." 

The  Rebiera  was  steered  into  the  land,  and  at  sunset 
they  were  not  four  miles  from  the  lofty  blue  mountains 
which  overhang  the  town  of  Malaga.  There  were  many 
vessels  lying  at  the  bottom  of  the  bay,  close  in  with  the 
town  ;  the  wind  now  fell  light,  and  the  Rebiera,  as  she 
could  not  fetch  the  town,  tacked  as  if  she  were  a  merchant 
vessel  standing  in,  and  showed  American  colours,  a  hint 
which  they  took  from  perceiving  three  or  four  large 
vessels  lying  in  the  outer  roads,  with  the  colours  of  that 
nation  hoisted  at  the  peak. 

"  What  is  your  intention,  Jack  ? "  said  Gascoigne. 

"  I'll  be  hanged  if  I  know  yet.  I  think  of  working  up 
to  the  outer  roads,  and  anchoring  at  night — boarding  the 
American  vessels,  and  gaining  intelligence." 

"Not  a  bad  idea;  we  shall  then  learn  if  there  is  any- 
thing to  be  done,  and  if  not,  we  may  be  off  at  daylight." 

"  The  pratique  boat  will  not  come  off  after  sunset." 

"  And  if  they  did,  we  could  pass  for  an  American, 
bound  to  Barcelona  or  anywhere  else — the  outer  roads 
where  the  vessels  lie  are  hardly  within  gun-shot." 

Mesty,    who   had    resumed    his    sailor's   clothes,    now 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  389 

observed,  "What  we  do,  Massa  Easy,  we  do  quickly — 
time  for  all  ting,  time  for  show  face  and  fight — time  for 
hide  face,  crawl,  and  steal." 

"  Very  true,  Mesty,  we'll  crawl  this  time,  and  steal  if 
we  can.     It's  not  the  warfare  I  like  best  of  the  two." 

"  Both  good,  Massa  Easy ;  suppose  you  no  steal  board 
of  polacca  ship,  you  not  see  Missy  Agnes." 

"  Very  true,  Mesty.     'Bout  ship,  Mr  Oxbelly." 

"  Mr  Oxbelly  not  good  for  boat  saivice,"  observed 
Mesty,  showing  his  teeth. 

It  was  dark  before  the  Rehiera  was  anchored  in  the 
outer  roads,  a  cable's  length  astern  of  the  outermost 
American  vessel.  One  of  her  quarter-boats  was  lowered 
down,  and  Gascoigne  and  our  hero  pulled  alongside,  and, 
lying  on  their  oars,  hailed,  and  asked  the  name  of  the 
vessel. 

"  So  help  me  Gad,  just  now  I  forget  her  name,"  replied 
a  negro,  looking  over  the  gangway. 

"  Who's  the  captain  ? " 

*'  So  help  me  Gad,  he  gone  on  shore." 

**  Is  the  mate  on  board  ? " 

"  No,  so  help  me  Gad — he  gone  shore,  too." 

"  Who  is  aboard  then  ? " 

*'  So  help  me  Gad,  nobody  on  board  but  Pompey — and 
dat  me." 

"  Good  ship-keepers,  at  all  events,"  said  Jack.  "  A 
ship  in  the  outer  roads,  with  only  a  black  fellow  on  board ! 
I  say,  Pompey,  do  they  always  leave  you  in  charge  of  the 
vessel  ? " 

"No,  sar;  but  to-night  great  pleasure  on  shore. 
Eberybody  dance  and  sing,  get  drunk,  kick  up  bobbery, 
and  all  dat." 

"  What,  is  it  a  festival  ? " 

"  So  help  me  Gad,  I  no  know,  sar." 

"  Is  there  anyone  on  board  of  the  other  vessels  .'' " 

"  Eberybody  gone  on  shore.  Suppose  they  have  black 
man,  he  stay  on  board." 

"  Good-night,  Pompey." 


390  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

"  Good-night,  sar.  Who  I  say  call  when  captain  come 
on  board  ? " 

"  Captain  Easy." 

"  Captain  He-see,  very  well,  sar." 

Our  hero  pulled  to  another  ship,  and  found  it  equally 
deserted ;  but  at  the  third  he  found  the  second  mate  with 
his  arm  in  a  sling,  and  from  him  they  gained  the  informa- 
tion that  it  was  a  great  festival,  being  the  last  day  of  the 
carnival ;  and  that  everyone  was  thinking  of  nothing  but 
amusement. 

"  I've  a  notion,"  said  the  mate,  in  reply,  "  that  you're 
American." 

"  You've  guessed  right,"  replied  Jack. 

"  What  ship,  and  from  what  port  ?  " 

"  Rhode  Island,  the  Susan  and  Mary"  replied  Gascoigne. 

"  I  thought  you  were  north.  We're  of  New  York. 
What  news  do  you  bring  ?  " 

"  Nothing,"  replied  he,  "  we  are  from  Liverpool  last." 

A  succession  of  questions  was  now  put  by  the  American 
mate,  and  answered  very  skilfully  by  Gascoigne,  who  then 
inquired  how  the  market  was  ? 

It  was  necessary  to  make  and  reply  to  all  these  enquiries 
before  they  could  ask  apparently  indifferent  questions  of 
American  traders  ;  at  last,  Gascoigne  enquired, — 

"  Do  you  think  they  would  allow  us  to  go  on  shore  ? 
the  pratique  boat  has  not  been  on  board." 

"  They'll  never  find  you  out  if  you  are  off  before  day- 
light ;  I  doubt  if  they  know  that  you  are  anchored. 
Besides,  from  Liverpool  you  would  have  a  clean  bill  of 
health,  and  if  they  found  it  out,  they  would  not  say  much ; 
they're  not  over  particular,  I've  a  notion." 

"  What  are  those  vessels  lying  in-shore  ?" 

"  I  guess  they  have  olive  oil  on  board,  the  chief  on  'em. 
But  there  are  two  double  lateens  come  in  from  Valparaiso 
the  day  before  yesterday,  with  hides  and  copper.  How 
they  'scaped  the  British,  I  can't  tell,  but  they  did,  that's 
sure  enough." 

"  Good-night,  then." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  391 

"  You  won't  take  a  glass  of  sling  this  fine  night  with  a 
countryman  ? " 

"To-morrow,  my  good  fellow,  to-morrow;  we  must 
go  on  shore  now." 

Our  hero  and  Gascoigne  returned  on  board  the  Rebiera, 
consulted  with  Oxbelly  and  Mesty,  and  then  manned  and 
armed  the  two  quarter  and  stern  boats.  They  thought  it 
advisable  not  to  hoist  out  their  long-boat ;  no  fire-arms 
were  permitted  to  be  taken,  lest,  going  off  by  accident  or 
otherwise,  an  alarm  should  be  given.  Our  hero  and  Mesty 
proceeded  in  the  first  boat,  and  pulled  in  for  the  town ; 
Gascoigne  shortly  after  in  the  second,  and  the  boatswain 
in  the  jolly-boat,  followed  at  some  distance. 

There  was  no  notice  taken  of  them  ;  they  pulled  gently 
down  to  the  landing-place,  which  was  deserted.  There 
was  a  blaze  of  light,  and  the  sounds  of  revelry  in  every 
quarter  on  shore  \  but  the  vessels  appeared  equally 
deserted  as  the  American  ones  in  the  ofHng. 

Finding  themselves  unobserved,  for  they  had  taken  the 
precaution  to  pull  only  two  oars  in  each  boat,  they  dropped 
gently  alongside  one  of  the  double-masted  lateen  vessels, 
and  Mesty  stepped  on  board.  He  peeped  down  in  the 
cabin,  and  perceived  a  man  lying  on  the  lockers  ;  he  came 
up  in  his  stealthy  manner,  closed  the  hatch  softly,  and  said, 
"  All  right."  Jack  left  Gascoigne  to  take  out  this  vessel, 
which  he  did  very  successfully,  for  it  was  very  dark  j  and 
although  there  were  sentries  posted  not  far  off,  their  eyes 
and  ears  were  turned  towards  the  town,  listening  to  the 
music. 

A  second  vessel,  her  consort,  was  boarded  in  the  same 
way,  but  here  they  found  a  man  on  deck  whom  they  were 
obliged  to  seize  and  gag.  They  put  him  down  in  the 
cabin,  and  Mesty,  with  another  boat's  crew,  cut  her  cables, 
and  swept  her  gently  out  towards  the  American  vessels. 
One  more  vessel  was  required,  and  Jack,  pulling  two  oars 
as  usual,  saluted  a  galliot  heavily  laden,  but  of  what  her 
cargo  consisted  was  not  known.  In  this  vessel  they  found 
two  men  in  the  cabin  playing  cards,  whom  they  seized  and 


39^  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

bound,  and,  cutting  her  cables,  were  obliged  to  make  sail 
upon  her,  as  she  was  much  too  large  to  sweep  out.  As 
they  were  making  sail  they,  however,  met  with  an  interrup- 
tion which  they  did  not  expect.  The  crew  belonging  to 
the  vessel,  having  had  enough  amusement  for  the  evening, 
and  intending  to  sail  the  next  morning,  had  thought  it 
right  to  come  off  sooner  than  the  others  :  it  was  then  about 
midnight  or  a  little  later,  and  while  some  of  Jack's  men 
were  aloft,  for  he  had  six  with  him.  Jack,  to  his  annoyance, 
heard  a  boat  coming  off  from  the  shore,  the  men  in  her 
singing  a  chorus.  The  galliot  was  at  that  time  just  under 
steerage  way,  her  top-sails  had  been  loosed  and  her  jib 
hoisted,  but  the  former  had  not  been  sheeted  home,  for 
the  three  men  below  could  not,  in  the  dark,  find  the  ropes. 
The  other  three  men  were  on  the  fore-yard  loosing  the 
foresail,  and  Jack  was  undetermined  whether  to  call  them 
down  immediately,  or  to  allow  them  to  loose  the  sail,  and 
thus  get  good  way  on  the  vessel,  so  as  to  prevent  the 
boat,  which  was  loaded  with  men,  from  overtaking  them. 
The  boat  was  not  more  than  twenty  yards  from  the  galliot, 
when,  not  finding  her  where  they  left  her,  they  pulled  to 
the  right,  and  lay  on  their  oars.  This  gave  a  moment  of 
time,  but  they  very  soon  spied  her  out.  "  Carambo  !  " 
was  the  exclamation — and  the  head  of  the  boat  was  pulled 
round. 

"  Down,  my  lads,  in  a  moment  by  the  swifters,"  cried 
Jack.     "  Here's  a  boat  on  board  of  us." 

The  men  were  in  a  few  seconds  on  deck,  and  the  others, 
who  had  now  sheeted  home  the  topsails,  hastened  aft. 
The  vessel  soon  gathered  way,  but  before  that  her  way 
was  sufficient,  the  boat  had  pulled  under  the  counter,  and 
the  Spaniards,  letting  their  oars  swing  fore  and  aft,  were 
climbing  up,  their  knives  in  their  teeth.  A  scuffle  ensued, 
and  they  were  thrown  down  again,  but  they  renewed  their 
attempt.  Our  hero,  perceiving  a  small  water  or  wine  cask 
lashed  to  the  gunwale,  cut  it  loose  with  his  cutlass,  and 
with  one  of  the  men,  who  was  by  his  side,  pushed  it  over, 
and  dropped  it  into  the  boat.     It  struck  the  gunwale,  stove 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  393 

a  plank,  and  the  boat  began  to  fill  rapidly ;  in  the  meantime 
the  galliot  had  gained  way — the  boat  could  not  longer  be 
held  on,  from  its  weight,  and  dropped  astern  with  the  men 
in  it.  Those  who  were  half  in  and  half  out  were  left 
clinging  to  the  gunwale  of  the  vessel,  and  as  they  climbed 
up  were  secured,  and  put  down  in  the  cabin.  Fortunately, 
no  fire-arms  having  been  used  on  either  side,  the  alarm  was 
not  given  generally,  but  the  sentry  reported  fighting  on 
board  one  of  the  vessels,  and  the  people  of  the  guard-boat 
were  collected,  and  pulled  out ;  but  they  only  arrived  in 
time  to  see  that  the  galliot  was  under  way,  and  that  the 
two  other  vessels  from  Valparaiso  were  not  in  their  berths. 

They  hastened  on  shore,  gave  the  alarm  :  the  gun-boats, 
of  which  there  were  three  at  the  mole,  were  ordered  out, 
but  half  the  crew  and  all  the  ofiicers  were  on  shore,  some 
at  balls,  others  drinking  at  taverns  or  posadas  j  before  they 
could  be  collected,  all  three  vessels  were  alongside  of  the 
Rebiera :  and  not  aware  that  anything  had  been  discovered, 
our  hero  and  his  crew  were  lulled  in  security.  Jack  had 
gone  on  board,  leaving  fourteen  of  his  men  on  board  the 
galliot — Gascoigne  had  done  the  same — Mesty  still  remained 
on  board  his  vessel ;  and  they  were  congratulating  them- 
selves, and  ordering  the  men  on  board  to  the  windlass, 
when  they  heard  the  sound  of  oars. 

"  Silence  ! — what  is  that  ?  "  exclaimed  Oxbelly.  *'  The 
gun-boats  or  row-boats,  as  sure  as  I'm  alive !  " 

At  this  moment  Mesty  jumped  up  the  side. 

"  Massa  Easy,  I  hear  row-boat  not  far  off." 

*'  So  do  we,  Mesty.  Gascoigne,  jump  into  the  boat — 
tell  the  men  in  the  prizes  to  make  all  sail  right  out,  and 
leave  us  to  defend  their  retreat — stay  on  board  of  one  and 
divide  your  men." 

•*  Dat  all  right,  Massa  Easy. — Mr  Gascoigne,  be  smart 
— and  now,  sar,  cut  cable  and  make  sail  •,  no  time  get  up 
anchor." 

This  order  was  given,  but  although  the  men  were  aloft 
in  a  moment,  and  very  expeditious,  as  the  Rebiera  payed 
her  head  round  and  the  jib  was  hoisted,  they  could  perceive 


394  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

the  boom  of  the  three  gun-boats  pulling  and  sailing  not  five 
cables'  length  from  them.  Although  rather  short-handed, 
topsails,  courses  and  top-gallant  sails  were  soon  set,  the 
men  down  to  their  quarters,  and  the  guns  cast  loose, 
before  the  gun-boats  were  close  under  their  stern.  Then 
Jack  rounded  to,  braced  up,  and  the  Rebiera  stood  across 
them  to  the  westward. 

"  Why  the  devil  don't  they  fire  ? "  said  Jack. 

"  I  tink  because  they  no  ab  powder,"  said  Mesty. 

Mesty  was  right — the  ammunition  chests  of  the  gun- 
boats were  always  landed  when  they  were  at  the  mole,  in 
case  of  accidents,  which  might  arise  from  the  crew  being 
continually  with  cigars  in  their  mouths,  and  in  the  hurry 
they  had  quite  forgotten  to  put  them  on  board. 

*'  At  all  events,  we  have  powder,"  said  Jack,  "  and  now 
we'll  prove  it.  Grape  and  canister,  my  lads,  and  take  good 
aim." 

The  commanders  of  the  gun-boats  had  hailed  each  other, 
and  agreed  to  board  the  Rebiera,  but  she  now  had  good 
way  on  her,  and  sailed  faster  than  they  pulled.  A  well- 
directed  broadside  astonished  them — they  had  no  idea  of 
her  force  j  and  the  execution  done  was  so  great,  that  they 
first  lay  on  their  oars  and  then  pulled  back  to  the  mole  with 
all  speed,  leaving  the  Rebiera  in  quiet  possession  of  her 
prizes,  which  had  already  gained  two  miles  in  the  offing. 

The  Rebiera,  as  soon  as  Jack  perceived  that  the  gun-boats 
had  retreated,^  was  put  before  the  wind,  and  soon  closed 
with  her  captures,  when  she  was  hove-to  till  daylight  with 
the  three  vessels  in  company.  Gascoigne  returned  on 
board,  prize-masters  were  selected,  and  Jack  determined  to 
keep  them  all  with  him,  and  take  them  to  Palermo. 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  395 


Chapter  XL 

In  which  there  is  another  slight  difference  of  opinion  between  those  who 
should  be  friends. 

The  two  lateen  vessels  proved  of  considerable  value, 
being  laden  with  copper,  hides,  and  cochineal.  The 
galliot  was  laden  with  sweet-oil,  and  was  also  no  despic- 
able prize.  At  daylight  they  were  all  ready,  and,  to  the 
mortification  of  the  good  people  of  Malaga,  sailed  away  to 
the  eastward  without  interruption. 

**  Me  tink  we  do  dat  job  pretty  well,  Massa  Easy," 
observed  Mesty,  as  he  laid  the  breakfast  table. 

"Nothing  like  trying,"  replied  Gascoigne  j  "I'm  sure 
when  we  stood  into  the  bay  I  would  have  sold  all  my 
prize-money  for  a  doubloon.     How  do  I  share,  Jack  ?  " 

"  Only  as  one  of  the  crew,  Ned,  for  you  are  a  super- 
numerary, and  our  articles  and  agreement  for  prize-money 
were  signed  previous  to  our  sailing." 

"  I  ought  to  share  with  Mr  Oxbelly's  class  by  rights," 
replied  Gascoigne. 

"  That  would  be  to  take  half  my  prize-money  away. 
I  shall  want  it  all,  Mr  Gascoigne,  to  pacify  my  wife  for 
giving  her  the  slip." 

"  Ah,  very  well ;  I'll  get  all  I  can." 

For  ten  days  they  ran  down  the  coast,  going  much  too 
fast  for  the  wishes  of  the  crew,  who  were  anxious  to 
make  more  money.  They  seized  a  fishing-boat  and  put 
on  board  of  her  the  four  prisoners,  which  they  had  found 
in  the  vessels,  and  arrived  oiF  Barcelona,  without  falling 
in  with  friend  or  foe.  The  next  morning,  the  wind  being 
very  light,  they  discovered  a  large  vessel  at  daylight 
astern  of  them  to  the  westward,  and  soon  made  her  out 
to  be  a  frigate.  She  made  all  sail  in  chase,  but  that  gave 
them  very  little  uneasiness,  as  they  felt  assured  that  she 
was    a  British   cruiser      One   fear,  however,  came  over 


3g6  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

them,  that  she  would,  if  she  came  up  with  them,  impress 
a  portion  of  their  men. 

"  As  certain  as  I'm  here,  and  Mrs  Oxbelly's  at  South- 
sea,"  said  Oxbelly,  "  they'll  take  some  of  the  men — the 
more  so  as,  supposing  us  to  be  a  Spanish  convoy,  they 
will  be  disappointed." 

"  They  will  hardly  take  them  out  of  the  prizes," 
observed  Easy. 

"I  don't  know  that;  men  must  be  had  for  his 
Majesty's  service  somehow.  It's  not  their  fault,  Mr 
Easy — the  navy  must  be  manned,  and  as  things  are  so, 
so  things  must  be.  It's  the  king's  prerogative,  Mr  Easy, 
and  we  cannot  fight  the  battles  of  the  country  without  it." 

"Yes,"  replied  Gascoigne,  "and  although,  as  soon  as 
the  services  of  seamen  are  no  longer  wanted,  you  find 
that  there  are  demagogues  on  shore  who  exclaim  against 
impressment,  they  are  quiet  enough  on  the  point  when 
they  know  that  their  lives  and  property  depend  upon 
sailors'  exertions." 

"Very  true,  Mr  Gascoigne,  but  it's  not  our  fault  if  we 
are  obliged  to  take  men  by  force  j  it's  the  fault  of  those 
who  do  not  legislate  so  as  to  prevent  the  necessity.  Mrs 
Oxbelly  used  to  say  that  she  would  easily  manage  the 
matter  if  she  were  Chancellor  of  the  Exchequer." 

"I  dare  say  Mrs  Oxbelly  would  make  a  very  good 
Chancellor  of  the  Exchequer,"  replied  Gascoigne,  smiHng  ; 
"one  thing  is  certain,  that  if  they  gave  the  subject  half 
the  consideration  they  have  others  of  less  magnitude,  an 
arrangement  might  be  made  by  which  his  Majesty's  navy 
would  never  be  short  of  men." 

"  No  doubt,  no  doubt,  Mr  Gascoigne  ;  but,  neverthe- 
less, the  king's  prerogative  must  never  be  given  up." 

"  There  I  agree  with  you,  Mr  Oxbelly  j  it  must  be. 
held  in  case  of  sudden  emergency  and  absolute  need." 

"We'll  argue  that  point  by-and-bye,"  replied  Jack; 
"now  let  us  consult  as  to  our  measures.  My  opinion  is, 
that  if  I  made  more  sail  we  should  beat  the  frigate,  but 
she  would  come  up  with  the  prizes." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  397 

"That's  the  best  thing  we  can  do,  Mr  Easy,  but  let 
us  send  a  boat  on  board  of  them,  and  take  out  all  the  men 
that  can  possibly  be  spared,  that  there  may  be  no  excuse 
for  impressing  them." 

*'  Yes,"  replied  Gascoigne  ;  "  and  as  the  wind  is  falling 
it  is  possible  it  may  fall  calm,  and  they  may  send  their 
boats ;  suppose  we  separate  a  mile  or  two  from  each 
other." 

**  Dat  very  good  advice,  Massa  Gascoigne,"  observed 
Mesty. 

This  plan  was  acted  upon  j  only  three  men  were  left 
in  the  lateens,  and  four  in  the  galliot,  and  the  vessels, 
in  obedience  to  the  orders,  sheered  off  on  both  sides  of 
the  Rebiera,  who  made  all  sail  and  started  a  head  of  the 
prizes.  This  manoeuvre  was  perceived  on  board  of  the 
frigate,  and  made  them  sure  that  it  was  a  Spanish  convoy 
attempting  to  escape.  The  fire-engine  was  got  on  deck, 
sails  wetted,  and  every  exertion  made  to  come  up.  But 
about  four  o'clock  in  the  afternoon,  when  the  frigate  was 
eight  or  nine  miles  off,  it  fell  calm,  as  Gascoigne  had 
predicted,  and  the  heads  of  all  the  vessels,  as  well  as  the 
frigate,  were  now  round  the  compass. 

*'  There's  out  boats,"  said  Mr  Oxbelly ;  *'  they  will  have 
a  long  pull,  and  all  for  nothing." 

**  How  savage  they  will  be  !  "  observed  Gascoigne. 

"Never  mind  that,"  replied  Jackj  "Mesty  says  that 
dinner  is  ready," 

After  dinner,  they  all  went  on  deck,  and  found  that  the 
boats  had  separated,  one  pulling  for  each  of  the  prizes,  and 
two  for  the  Rebiera.  In  less  than  an  hour,  they  would 
probably  be  alongside. 

"  And  now  let  us  decide  how  we  are  to  act.  We  must 
not  resist,  if  they  attempt  to  impress  the  men  ? " 

"  I've  been  thinking  upon  that  matter,  Mr  Easy,  and  it 
appears  to  me  that  the  men  must  be  permitted  to  act  as 
they  please,  and  that  we  must  be  neuter.  I,  as  a  lieutenant 
in  his  Majesty's  service,  cannot  of  course  act,  neither  can 
Mr  Gascoigne.     You  are  not  in  the  service,  but  I  should 


398  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

recommend  you  to  do  the  same.  That  the  men  have  a 
right  to  resist,  if  possible,  is  admitted  j  they  always  do  so, 
and  never  are  punished  for  so  doing.  Under  the  guns  of 
the  frigate,  of  course  we  should  only  have  to  submit  j  but 
those  two  boats  do  not  contain  more  than  twenty-five  men,  I 
should  think,  and  our  men  are  the  stronger  party.  We 
had  better  leave  it  to  them,  and  stand  neuter." 

"  Dat  very  good  advice,"  said  Mesty  ;  "  leab  it  to  us  :" 
and  Mesty  walked  away  forward  where  the  seamen  were 
already  in  consultation. 

Jack  also  agreed  to  the  prudence  of  this  measure,  and  he 
perceived  that  the  seamen,  after  a  consultation  with  Mesty, 
were  all  arming  themselves  for  resistance. 

The  boats  were  now  close  on  board,  and  English  colours 
were  hoisted  at  the  gaff.  This  did  not,  however,  check 
the  impetus  of  the  boats,  who,  with  their  ensigns  trailing 
in  the  still  water  astern  of  them,  dashed  alongside,  and  an 
officer  leaped  on  board,  cutlass  in  hand,  followed  by  the 
seamen  of  the  frigate.  The  men  of  the  Rebiera  remained 
collected  forward — Easy,  Gascoigne,  and  Oxbelly  aft. 

"  What  vessel  is  this  ? "  cried  the  lieutenant  who  com- 
manded the  boats. 

Jack,  with  the  greatest  politeness,  took  off  his  hat,  and 
told  him  that  it  was  the  Rebiera  letter  of  marque,  and  that 
the  papers  were  ready  for  his  inspection. 

"  And  the  other  vessels  ? " 

"Prizes  to  the  Rebiera,  cut  out  of  Malaga  Bay,"  replied 
Jack. 

"  Then  you  are  a  privateer,"  observed  the  disappointed 
officer.     "  Where  are  your  papers  ?  " 

"  Mr  Oxbelly,  oblige  me  by  bringing  them  up,"  said 
Jack. 

"Fat  Jack  of  the  bone  house,"  observed  the  lieutenant, 
looking  at  Oxbelly. 

"  A  lieutenant  in  his  Majesty's  service,  of  longer  stand- 
ing than  yourself,  young  man,"  replied  Oxbelly,  firmly ; — 
"and  who,  if  he  ever  meets  you  in  any  other  situation,  will 
make  you  answer  for  your  insolent  remark." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  399 

"Indeed!"  observed  the  lieutenant,  ironically  ;  "now, 
if  you  had  said  you  were  once  a  boatswain  or  gunner." 

"  Consider  yourself  kicked,"  roared  Oxbelly,  losing  his 
temper. 

"  Heyday  !  why,  you  old  porpoise  !  " 

"  Sir,"  observed  Jack,  who  listened  with  indignation, 
**  Mr  Oxbelly  is  a  lieutenant  in  his  Majesty's  service,  and 
you  have  no  right  to  insult  him,  even  if  he  were  not." 

**  I  presume  you  are  all  officers,"  replied  the  lieutenant. 

"  I  am,  sir,"  retorted  Gascoigne,  "  an  officer  in  his 
Majesty's  service,  and  on  board  of  this  vessel  by  permission 
of  Captain  Sawbridge  of  the  Latonar 

"  And  I  was,  until  a  few  months  ago,  sir,"  continued 
Jack ;  **  at  present  I  am  captain  and  owner  of  this  vessel — 
but  here  are  the  papers.  You  will  have  no  obstruction 
from  us  in  the  execution  of  your  duty — at  the  sa.iie  time, 
I  call  upon  the  two  young  gentlemen  by  your  side,  and 
your  own  men,  to  bear  witness  to  what  takes  place." 

"  O  very  well,  sir — just  as  you  please.  Your  papers,  I 
perceive,  are  all  right.  Now  you  will  oblige  me  by  muster- 
ing your  men." 

"  Certainly,  sir,"  replied  Jack  :  **  send  all  the  men  aft  to 
muster,  Mr  Oxbelly." 

The  men  came  aft  to  the  mainmast,  with  Mesty  at  their 
head,  and  answered  to  their  names.  As  the  men  passed 
over,  the  lieutenant  made  a  pencil-mark  against  ten  of 
them,  who  appeared  the  finest  seamen ;  and,  when  the 
roll  had  been  called,  he  ordered  those  men  to  get  their 
bags  and  go  into  the  boat. 

"  Sir,  as  you  must  observe,  I  am  short-handed,  with  my 
men  away  in  prizes  ;  and  I,  as  commander  of  this  vessel, 
protest  against  this  proceeding :  if  you  insist  upon  taking 
them,  of  course  I  can  do  nothing,"  observed  Jack. 

"  I  do  insist,  sir  j  I'm  not  going  on  board  empty-handed, 
at  all  events." 

"  Well,  sir,  I  can  say  no  more,"  said  Jack,  walking  aft 
to.  the  taffrail,  to  which  Oxbelly  and  Gascoigne  had 
retreated. 


400  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

**  Come,  my  lads,  get  those  men  in  the  boat,"  said  the 
Heutenant. 

But  the  men  had  all  retreated  forward  in  a  body,  with 
Mesty  at  their  head,  and  had  armed  themselves.  Some  of 
the  seamen  of  the  frigate  had  gone  forward,  in  obedience 
to  their  officer,  to  lead  the  men  selected  into  the  boat ;  but 
they  were  immediately  desired  to  keep  back.  The  scuffle 
forward  attracted  the  notice  of  the  lieutenant,  who 
immediately  summoned  all  his  men  out  of  the  boats. 

"  Mutiny,  by  heavens  !     Come  up  all  of  you,  my  lads." 

Mesty  then  came  forward,  with  a  sabre  in  one  hand  and 
a  pistol  in  the  other,  and  then  addressed  the  seamen 
of  the  frigate  : — 

"  I  tell  you  dis,  my  lads — you  not  so  strong  as  we — you 
not  got  better  arms — we  not  under  gun  of  frigate  now, 
and  ab  determination  not  to  go  board.  'Pose  you  want  us, 
come  take  us — 'pose  you  can.  By  all  de  power,  but  we 
make  mince-meat  of  you,  anyhow." 

The  seamen  paused — they  were  ready  to  fight  for  their 
country,  but  not  to  be  killed  by  or  kill  those  who  were 
their  own  countrymen,  and  who  were  doing  exactly  what 
they  would  have  done  themselves.  The  lieutenant 
thought  otherwise ;  he  was  exasperated  at  this  sensation, 

*'  You  black  scoundrel,  I  left  you  out  because  I  thought 
you  not  worth  having,  but  now  I'll  add  you  to  the 
number." 

"  Stop  a  little,"  replied  Mesty. 

The  lieutenant  would  not  take  the  Ashantee's  very 
prudent  advice ;  he  flew  forward  to  seize  Mesty,  who, 
striking  him  a  blow  with  the  flat  of  his  sabre,  almost 
levelled  him  to  the  deck.  At  this  the  men  and  other 
officers  of  the  frigate  darted  forward ;  but  after  a  short 
scuffle,  in  which  a  few  wounds  were  received,  were  beaten 
back  into  the  boats.  The  lieutenant  was  thrown  in  after 
them,  by  the  nervous  arm  of  Mesty — and  assailed  by  cold 
shot  and  other  missiles,  they  sheered  off  with  precipitation, 
and  pulled  back  in  the  direction  of  the  frigate. 

"  There  will  be  a  row  about  this,"  said  Oxbelly,  "  as 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  401 

soon  as  they  come  clear  of  the  vessel.  If  the  frigate  gets 
hold  of  us  she  will  show  us  no  mercy.  There  is  a  breeze 
coming  from  the  north-west.  How  fortunate  !  we  shall 
be  three  leagues  to  windward,  and  may  escape." 

"  I  doubt  if  she  could  catch  us  at  any  point  of  sailing : 
they  may  come  up  with  the  prizes,  but  can  do  nothing 
with  them." 

"  No,  the  boats  which  boarded  them  are  already 
returned  to  the  frigate  ;  she  must  wait  for  them,  and  that 
will  give  us  a  start,  and  it  will  be  night  before  they  can 
make  sail." 

"Fire  a  gun  for  the  prizes  to  close,"  said  Jack ;  "we 
will  put  the  men  on  board  again,  and  then  be  off  to 
Palermo  as  fast  as  we  can." 

"We  can  do  no  better,"  said  Oxbelly.  "If  ever  I 
chance  to  meet  that  fellow  again,  I  will  trouble  him  to 
repeat  his  words.     Trim  the  sails,  my  lads." 

"  His  language  was  unpardonable,"  observed  Jack. 

"  Since  I've  been  in  the  service,  Mr  Easy,  I  have 
always  observed  that  some  officers  appear  to  imagine,  that 
because  they  are  under  the  king's  pennant,  they  are 
warranted  in  insulting  and  tyrannising  over  all  those  who 
have  not  the  honour  to  hoist  it ;  whereas,  the  very  fact  of 
their  being  king's  officers  should  be  an  inducement  to  them 
to  show  an  example  of  courtesy  and  gentlemanly  conduct 
in  the  execution  of  their  duty,  however  unpleasant  it 
may  be." 

"  It  is  only  those  who,  insignificant  themselves,  want  to 
make  themselves  of  importance  by  the  pennant  they  serve 
under,"  replied  our  hero. 

"Very  true,  Mr  Easy ;  but  you  are  not  aware  that  a 
great  part  of  the  ill-will  shown  to  the  service  is  owing 
to  the  insolence  of  those  young  men  in  office.  The  king's 
name  is  a  warrant  for  every  species  of  tyranny  and 
unwarrantable  conduct.  I  remember  Mrs  Oxbelly  telling 
one  of  them,  when " 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,  Mr  Oxbelly,"  interrupted  Jack, 
***  but  we  have  no  time  to  chat  now  •,  the  breeze  is  coming 

E  2   C 


402  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

down  fast,  and  I  perceive  the  prizes  are  closing.  Let  us 
lower  down  the  boat,  send  the  men  on  board  again,  and 
give  them  their  orders — which  I  will  do  in  writing,  in 
case  they  part  company." 

"  Very  true,  sir.  It  will  be  dark  in  half-an-hour,  and 
as  we  are  now  standing  in-shore,  they  will  think  that  we 
intend  to  remain  on  the  coast.  As  soon  as  it  is  quite  dark 
we  will  shape  our  course  for  Palermo.  I  will  go  down 
and  look  at  the  chart." 


Chapter  XLI 

Which  winds  up  the  nautical  adventures  of  Mr  Midshipman  Easy. 

In  half-an-hour  the  prizes  were  again  alongside,  the  men 
put  on  board,  and  the  boat  hoisted  up.  The  frigate  still 
remained  becalmed  to  leeward,  and  hoisted  in  her  boats. 
They  watched  until  she  was  hid  by  the  shades  of  night, 
and  then  wearing  round  stood  away,  with  the  wind  two 
points  free,  for  the  coast  of  Sicily.  The  next  morning 
when  the  sun  rose  there  was  nothing  in  sight.  Strange 
anomaly,  in  a  state  of  high  civilisation,  where  you  find 
your  own  countrymen  avoided  and  more  dreaded  than 
even  your  foes  ! 

The  run  was  prosperous,  the  weather  was  fine,  and 
the  prizes  did  not  part  company. 

On  the  sixteenth  day  the  Rebiera  and  her  convoy 
anchored  in  Palermo  Bay.  The  wind  was  light  in  the 
morning  that  they  stood  in,  and  as  Jack  had  a  large  blue 
flag  with  Rebiera  in  white  letters  hoisted  at  the  main, 
Don  Philip  and  Don  Martin  were  on  board  and  greeting 
our  hero,  before  the  Rebierds  anchor  had  plunged  into 
the  clear  blue  water. 

The  information  which  our  hero  received,  after  having 
been  assured  of  the  health  of  Agnes  and  her  parents,  was 
satisfactory.  The  disappearance  of  the  friar  had,  at  first, 
occasioned  much  surprise ;   but  as  the  servants  of  Don 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  403 

Rebiera  swore  to  his  return  without  the  black,  and  the 
letter  of  Don  Rebiera,  sent  to  the  convent,  requesting 
his  presence,  was  opened  and  read,  there  was  no  suspicion 
against  the  family.  A  hundred  conjectures  had  been 
afloat,  but  gradually  they  had  subsided,  and  it  was  at 
last  supposed  that  he  had  been  carried  off  by  the  banditti, 
some  of  whom  had  been  taken,  and  acknowledged  that 
they  had  seized  a  friar,  on  a  day  which  they  could  not 
recollect.     The  reader  will  remember  that  it  was  Mesty. 

The  Rebiera  received  pratique,  and  Jack  hastened  on 
shore  with  Don  Philip  and  his  brother,  and  was  once 
more  in  company  of  Agnes,  who,  in  our  hero's  opinion, 
had  improved  since  his  departure.  Most  young  men  in 
love  think  the  same  after  an  absence,  provided  it  is  not 
too  long.  The  prizes  were  sold  and  the  money  distri- 
buted, and  every  man  was  satisfied,  as  the  cargoes  fetched 
a  larger  sum  than  they  had  anticipated. 

We  must  pass  over  the  pros  and  cons  of  Don  Rebiera 
and  his  lady,  the  pleading  of  Jack  for  immediate  nuptials, 
the  unwillingness  of  the  mother  to  part  with  her 
only  daughter,  the  family  consultation,  the  dowry,  and 
all  these  particulars.  A  month  after  his  arrival  Jack 
was  married,  and  was,  of  course,  as  happy  as  the  day 
was  long. 

A  few  days  afterwards,  Mr  Oxbelly  advised  departure, 
as  the  expenses  of  the  vessel  were  heavy,  and  it  was  his 
duty  so  to  do.  Don  Philip  and  Don  Martin  obtained 
leave  to  go  to  England,  with  their  sister  and  her  husband. 
Nevertheless,  Jack,  who  found  Palermo  a  very  pleasant 
residence,  was  persuaded  by  the  Don  and  his  wife  to 
remain  there  a  month,  and  then  there  was  crying  and 
sobbing,  and  embracing,  and  embarking ;  and  at  last  the 
Rebiera,  whose  cabins  had  been  arranged  for  the  reception 
of  the  party,  weighed  and  made  sail  for  Malta,  Jack  having 
promised  to  call  upon  the  governor. 

In  four  days  they  anchored  in  Valette  Harbour,  and 
Jack  paid  his  respects  to  his  old  friend,  who  was  very 
glad  to  see  him.     The  governor  sent  his  own  barge  for 


404  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

Mrs  Easy,  and  she  was  installed  in  the  state  apartments, 
which  were  acknowledged  to  be  very  comfortable.  Our 
hero  had,  as  usual,  a  long  story  to  tell  the  governor,  and 
the  governor  listened  to  it  very  attentively,  probably 
because  he  thought  it  would  be  the  last,  which  oppor- 
tunity Jack  employed  to  narrate  the  unfortunate  end  of 
his  father. 

**  I  would  not  have  said  so  at  the  time,  Mr  Easy,  but 
now  the  wound  is  healed,  I  tell  you,  that  it  is  the  best 
thing  that  could  have  happened — poor  old  gentleman ! 
he  was  mad  indeed." 

Our  hero  remained  a  fortnight  at  Malta,  and  then  Signora 
Easy  was  re-embarked,  and  once  more  the  Rebiera  made 
sail. 

"  Fare  you  well,  my  lad  j  what  I  have  seen  of  your 
brothers-in-law  pleases  me  much  j  and  as  for  your  wife, 
it  will  be  your  own  fault  if  she  is  not  all  that  you  would 
wish.  If  ever  I  come  to  England  again,  I  will  pay  my 
first  visit  to  Forest  Hill.     God  bless  you  ! " 

But  Sir  Thomas  never  did  go  back  to  England,  and  this 
was  their  final  adieu.  Once  more  the  Rebiera  pursued  her 
course,  stopped  a  day  or  two  at  Gibraltar,  shared  the 
proceeds  of  the  captured  gun-boat,  and  then  made  sail  for 
England,  where  she  arrived  without  adventure  or  accident 
in  three  weeks.  Thus  ended  the  last  cruise  of  Mr  Midship- 
man Easy.  As  soon  as  their  quarantine  at  the  Motherbank 
was  over,  they  disembarked,  and  found  Dr  Middleton  and 
Mr  Hanson  waiting  for  them  at  the  George  Hotel.  Our 
hero  scarcely  had  time  to  introduce  his  wife,  when  the 
waiter  said,  that  a  lady  wished  to  speak  to  him.  She  did 
not  wait  -to  know  if  Jack  was  visible,  but  forced 
her  way  past  him.  Jack  looked  at  her  large  proportions, 
and  decided  at  once  that  it  must  be  Mrs  Oxbelly,  in  which 
conjecture  he  was  right. 

"  Pray,  sir,  what  do  you  mean  by  carrying  off  my 
husband  in  that  way?"  exclaimed  the  lady,  red  with  anger. 

"  God  forbid  that  I  should  have  to  carry  your  husband, 
Mrs  Oxbelly,  he  is  rather  too  heavy." 


Mr  Midshipman  Easy  405 

**  Yes,  sir,  but  it's  little  better  than  kidnapping,  and 
there's  a  law  for  kidnapping  children  at  all  events.  I  shall 
send  my  lawyer  to  you,  that  you  may  depend  upon." 

"  You  hardly  can  consider  your  husband  as  a  child,  Mrs 
Oxbelly,"  replied  Jack,  laughing. 

"  Very  well,  sir,  we  shall  see.  Pray,  where  is  he 
now  .? " 

"  He  is  on  board,  Mrs  Oxbelly,  and  will  be  delighted  to 
see  you." 

"  I'm  not  quite  so  sure  of  that." 

*'  He's  very  anxious  to  see  little  Billy,"  said  Gascoigne. 

**■  What  do  you  know  of  little  Billy,  young  man  ? " 

"  And  more  than  anxious  to  be  on  shore  again.  He's 
quite  tired  of  sleeping  single,  Mrs  Oxbelly." 

"  Ah,  very  well,  he  has  been  talking,  has  he  ?  very 
well,"  exclaimed  the  lady,  in  a  rage. 

"  But,"  said  Easy,  "  I  am  happy  to  say,  that  with  pay  and 
prize-money,  during  his  short  absence,  he  has  brought  home 
nearly  five  hundred  pounds." 

"  Five  hundred  pounds  ! — you  don't  say  so,  sir  ?  "  ex- 
claimed Mrs  Oxbelly  ;  "  are  you  sure  of  that  ? " 

"  Quite  sure,"  rejoined  Gascoigne. 

"  Five  hundred  pounds  ! — Well,  that  is  comfortable — 
dear  me  !  how  glad  I  shall  be  to  see  him !  Well,  Mr 
Easy,  it  was  hard  to  part  with  him  in  so  unhandsome  a 
way — but  all's  for  the  best  in  this  world.  What  a  dear 
nice  lady  your  wife  is,  Mr  Easy — but  I  won't  intrude — I  beg 
pardon.     Where  is  the  brig,  Mr  Easy  ?  " 

"Now  coming  into  harbour,"  replied  Gascoigne j  "if 
you  bargain,  you  can  get  off  for  twopence." 

"  Five  hundred  pounds  !  "  exclaimed  Mrs  Oxbelly,  whose 
wrath  was  now  appeased. 

"  By  all  power,  she  no  fool  of  a  woman  dat,"  said  Mesty, 
as  she  retreated  curtseying.  "  I  tink  Mr  Oxbelly  very 
right  sleep  tingle." 

We  have  now  come  to  the  end  of  our  hero's  adventures  : 
that  afternoon  they  all  started  for  Forest  Hill,  where 
everything  was  ready  for  their  reception.     The  Rebierd's 


4o6  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 

men  were  paid  off,  and  were  soon  distributed  on  board  of 
his  Majesty's  ships  ;  the  vessel  was  sold,  and  Mr  Oxbelly 
retired  to  Southsea,  to  the  society  of  his  wife  and  little  Billy, 
Whether  he  obtained  from  his  wife  a  divorce  de  thoro  is  not, 
handed  down. 

Our  hero,  who  was  now  of  age,  invited  all  within 
twenty  miles  of  home  to  balls  and  dinners,  became  a  great 
favourite,  kept  a  pack  of  hounds,  rode  with  the  foremost, 
received  a  deputation  to  stand  for  the  county,  on  the 
conservative  interest,  was  elected  without  much  expense, 
which  was  very  wonderful,  and  took  his  seat  in  Parliament. 
Don  Philip  and  Don  Martin,  after  two  months'  stay,  took 
their  passage  back  to  Palermo,  fully  satisfied  with  the 
prospects  of  their  sister  as  to  competence  and  happiness. 
Jack  had  no  occasion  to  argue  the  point  with  Agnes  ;  she 
conformed  at  once  to  the  religion  of  her  husband,  proved 
an  excellent  and  affectionate  wife,  and  eventually  the  mother 
of  four  children,  three  boys  and  a  girl. 

Mesty  held  his  post  with  dignity,  and  proved  himself 
trustworthy.  Gascoigne,  by  the  interest  of  the  conservative 
member,  soon  obtained  the  rank  of  post-captain,  and  was 
always  his  devoted  and  sincere  friend.  And  thus  ends  the 
history  of  Mr  Midshipman  Easy 


TtlRNBULL  AND  SPEAItS,    PRINTERS,   EDINBURGH. 


X 


